The Mended Mirror: Reflections On Life: Wholeness In Brokenness

by Karen Celeste Hilfman

A year before her mother's death, Karen is startled to discover that what she calls her mother's "moods and states" are actually eight distinct alter personalities. Then six years later a DNA test result reveals another shock – there is an extra biological father in their family of four siblings. Karen's immediate response is to declare two first, their "real Mom" did not know about the extra biological father because of the many personalities; and second, like Janis, she must have the different biological father too, because there is no way they are not full sisters. In this absorbing, deeply personal story, Karen pieces together fragmented memories to unravel a mystery that began more than eighty years ago as she reflects on how these realities have impacted her understanding of herself and life. In doing so, she inspires us to take off our masks to be more present to ourselves and one another, and to intentionally connect to the powers of love and creativity deep within every one of us.

Genres: Memoir

506 pages, Kindle Edition

Published December 2, 2019

About the author

Karen Hilfman has a Bachelor of Arts in Drama and English and a Masters of Divinity. She uses both to direct theatrical productions with intergenerational casts. She is an ordained minister with The United Church of Canada and was the lead minister in congregations for 25 years. She now works at the church’s regional level to support and encourage the evolution of faith communities that are adapting to the changing times in which we live.

Karen lives with her husband Alan in Orillia, Ontario, where their daughters and families all live nearby. The family often connects for barbecued and smoked dinners, bonfires, camping trips, hikes and random moments when they happily show up in the same place.

Her passion for authentic connection is the focus of Karen’s life work. As consultant, facilitator, author and coach, she engages with and inspires communities and individuals to live life fully, encouraging them to listen to the wisdom and creative possibilities deep within that will connect and guide us. You can read more about her work at www.AuthenticConnectionCulture.com.

Reviews

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author tells an intensely personal and astounding story in this book that is part memoir, part instruction for building an “authentic connection culture” through “intentional circles.” It is her difficult journey with her mother, who has mental health issues, that helps her to learn to listen deeply from a place of love, and support without judgment. It is a must read for anyone who is going into the ministry, a primer for following your call (even though it might not seem the right time to do that), listening closely as the journey continues, and then working with the community in order to honour and celebrate the gifts of all. This story has more twists and turns than the mysteries I usually read! It is the intimate story of a spirit led journey, a truly inspirational reflection, rooted and grounded in love. Anyone who has faced difficulties in their life will benefit from reading this book. I guess that's all of us! I highly recommend it!

[Carol Torrey · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I began reading this book, I thought it might be a throwback to "Sybil" from my high school days. This was not the case. The Mended Mirror looks at multiple personality disorder from the perspective of a loving daughter who searches for truth, meaning, and authenticity. It is about finding goodness in the midst of chaos. It is the story of a spiritual leader who is able to reflect on her own life journey, bringing together all the pieces -- good and bad-- into a brilliant tapestry. It can be a lesson for all of us in resilience and in listening to our own inner wisdom as we connect with others.