If You Really Loved Me: 100 Questions on Dating, Relationships and Sexual Purity

by Jason Evert

Have you ever asked yourself... Why should I wait for marriage to have sex? How far is too far? How do I say "no"? What if we really love each other? How do I find the right spouse? How do I start over? What about safe sex? How do I know if this is love? These days, virgins may be embarrassed by their lack of "experience" while non-virgins may feel that it's too late for them. Men and women of all ages feel compelled to "take their relationship to the next level" - meaning they think it's time to have sex, not to try on wedding rings. Chastity author and speaker Jason Evert addresses these issues, and dozens more, in If You Really Loved 100 Questions on Dating, Relationships, and Sexual Purity. The questions in this landmark work are the most common ones Evert is asked when speaking about the virtue of chastity in hundreds of Catholic, Evangelical Christian, and public schools. His humerous, friendly, and blunt approach opens hearts and minds to a topic often either rejected out of hand or misunderstood. Teens will find this book a useful guide to starting a relationship, deciding one's vocation, one day finding a potential spouse, and maintaining purity - without forsaking love. This book will give parents and educators new insights to help teens know the difference between love and lust. They may even look at their own lives differently, because as Evert explains, chastity is not only for singles; married coupes must practice this virtue as well. If You Really Loved Me gives readers straight answers to tough questions. Addressing the relationship issues that today's young people face, Evert explains the often-misconstrued virtue of chastity - not as a rejection of human sexuality, but as an affirmation of authentic love. Still in his twenties, Jason Evert speaks internationally to more than 100,000 junior high, high school, and college students each year about God's

Genres: Catholic, Self Help, Religion, Faith, Sexuality, Christian, Spirituality

200 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2003

About the author

Jason Evert has spoken on five continents to more than one million people about the virtue of chastity.

Jason earned a master’s degree in Theology, and undergraduate degrees in Counseling and Theology, with a minor in Philosophy at Franciscan University of Steubenville. He is a frequent guest on radio programs throughout the country, and his television appearances include Fox News, MSNBC, the BBC, and EWTN.

After speaking solo for several years, he teamed up with Crystalina, and the two married in 2003.

Reviews

[Nora Martinez · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNFed. Read to page 130. It has some good points but just could not continue. This is also coming from a Catholic pov and has quotes from many catholic saints and pope John Paul II.

[James · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was excellent. I found it super helpful in the areas it covers (dating, purity, marriage, etc..) It is mainly practical but it draws on solid theology which enhances the advice given. Overall it is one of those few books l was left thinking l wish l read this earlier. 10/10

[Renee · Rating 3 out of 5]

If You Really Loved Me is subtitled "100 Questions on Dating, Relationships and Sexual Purity; Revised and Expanded" and that is the book's format. Each chapter has questions (from students) with answers by Jason Evert about chastity, the meaning of sex, dating and courtship, pornography, homosexuality, etc. Jason's expertise is based on an undergraduate degree in Counseling and Theology, a graduate level degree in Theology, being a staff apologist for Catholic Answers and his own life experience. He also has spoken internationally to more than 100,000 high school and college students.

I have never read the first edition so I don't know what is revised and/or expanded in this one. Overall the chapters deal with topics and questions that are on the minds of students - but I would not recommend this book for young teens (13-15 yr olds) unless they have already been exposed to worldly ideas through friends or the media.

I felt the chapter on contraception to be a bit much for high school students; the topic encompassed nearly 25% of the book. It came across as a scare tactic. Instead of focusing solely on the Church's teaching of why contraception is wrong - the author spent many pages going into all the negative side effects of contraception. And then 20 more pages on the horrors of STDs. I know these are important topics but I don't know that scare tactics work on teens but then I've not spoken to over 100,000 students so maybe the author knows something I do not.

The author was wrapping up the book talking about renewing purity (for those that have strayed) and staying pure but then he tossed in a chapter on vocations. Vocations are certainly important but the chapter felt out of place as an ending to this book. I will be passing this book along to my college freshman daughter but I'm not sure if this is the appropriate book for my high school students.

This review was written as part of the Catholic book reviewer program from The Catholic Company.

[Bethany · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very Catholic based and focused on chastity and sexual purity, “saving yourself for marriage”

[Nicole Rodgers · Rating 4 out of 5]

“All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self evident.” Arthur Schopenhauer

[Brendan Elliston · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book on dating and purity

[unclesamsavage · Rating 3 out of 5]

Succinct in Sixteen

A practical guide on eleven different topics regarding chastity about which all young Catholics should know.

[Christina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading this book really made me learn about myself and who I want to become. It gave me a great overview on how I should be as a person and who I choose to be with. Going to a catholic school and having a point of view from other places I can really see the difference. I am so lucky to be able to have advisers that help me find my true self. From reading this book I got a lot of feedback on how to be respectful towards myself. In the past , when I was younger the cool thing at school was to have relationships and be in love, but looking back it just seem really childish. All those “people that had relationships” seem to just be hurting themselves by not knowing how much they are really worth. When reading this book it really made me question myself if having a relationship right now is really worth it , if it’s not going to lead into marriage. Right now we all just want to have fun , and sure we can but we can do it in a respectful way that isn’t hurting your partner neither yourself. One main thing that seem to really stand out from this book was when the author said that the word “no” is a love word. It’s okay to say no a times , if one isn’t comfortable doing whatever is being ask , it would then be respected and show real love. This book would especial be great for young adults that are just starting to go in the real word. It should really help them not to be scared and just be themselves. As a young adult it really help me and made me think of who I want to be towards myself and how to be respectful.

[Nicole Catherine · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the first time I've ever really looked at the "what I've learned from this book" option. Cause this is the kind of book that forces you to learn from it. I mean, I've grown up with a strong faith, but this book taught me something new. Several somethings new. Especially this: chastity isn't totally about the lifestyle. It's about the mindset, and the lifestyle comes from the mindset. This book has questions asked by everyone (how DO you know when you've found The One?) and answers that make undeniable sense while being funny at the same time.

My favorite part had to be when he said "When I was in second grade, if I liked a girl, I threw a rock at her." Also when he said "geekiness can be excessively romantic". :D

Even if you aren't Catholic, this book is for you. Should be required reading for all high school students.

[Shauna Joseph · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book really give you answers to the questions you might have about chastity and dating/relationships, etc. Jason Evert is a very good writer and speaker and I find that his books are very informative and helpful. This book is a useful guide for teens to starting a relationship, deciding vocations, and maintaining purity. There are many great points that are made in this book and I found it very interesting and couldn't put it down until I read all the questions and answers.

[Megan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book gave a lot of good reasons and arguments, and it truly did make me look at things in a different light. My only complaint is that some of the issues brought up weren't backed by facts, just opinions. There were a lot of places where you could ask, "Well yeah, but what about it?" Other than that, I enjoyed it.

[Marukim · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good book on relationship/love. A good book explaining the standpoint of catholics regarding relationships and love.

[Lucy]

A great book that shows why "no" is a love word, and a person you truly love you will stay pure until marriage for.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finally, something that speaks the truth.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

The answers are very thought out. Great explanations

[Tsoler · Rating 5 out of 5]

The most brilliantly written piece ever. I could read this so many more times, and I probably will.