Il ragazzo che andò via

by Eli Gottlieb

Contea di Essex, New Jersey, 1967. Mentre i notiziari televisivi sono invasi da notizie sempre più drammatiche sull’escalation della guerra in Vietnam e scanditi dalle fiammate del napalm, la famiglia Graubert sta andando lentamente a pezzi, nel vano tentativo di difendere il suo membro più debole, Fad, affetto da una grave forma di autismo, e di proteggerlo da una comunità medica che appare decisa a internarlo in un istituto.
La madre, Harta, lotta con tutte le sue forze contro le autorità e al tempo stesso si tuffa in una relazione con uno dei dottori che seguono Fad; il padre, Max, non resiste al dolore e si estrania, sprofondando progressivamente nell’alcolismo; il fratello minore, Danny, assiste allo sfascio della sua famiglia, ne spia le dinamiche e sogna ora di fuggire, ora di saper vegliare sulle anime confuse e ferite delle persone che più ama al mondo. Romanzo d’esordio di Eli Gottlieb, vincitrice del Premio Roma e inserito nella lista «Best Books» del New York Times, Il ragazzo che andò via è un'opera limpida e dolorosa, che narra con sensibilità e mirabile controllo stilistico un'educazione sentimentale, l'amore tra due fratelli, la crisi di una famiglia.

Genres: Fiction, Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Contemporary, Historical Fiction, Audiobook, Family, Novels

187 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 1997

Reviews

[Ron · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked this novel, but while reading I realized the importance of connecting with a character, or two, in a book where I really didn't care for any of them (excepting the child Fad). Knowing Gottlieb (from another book - see below), I believe there was a purpose for it – experiencing the dynamics of a severely dysfunctional family, pretty much lost in their eldest son's life of autism and his unknown future, in a time when very little is even known about it. Because of these things, I will say that the weight of this story is never lost on you.

A surprise came when reading about the author in this book's short afterward. It turns out that Fad's story was continued twenty years later in Gottlieb's amazing novel, Best Boy. I hadn't known this, but was so pleased to realize the tie between these two stories. If anyone is looking to read an insightful, personal, and very funny journey about trying to go home again (looking outwards through the eyes of one with autism), then I very much recommend the novel

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

The topic was interesting and original - the effects on a family of a son with a mysterious mental illness/ learning disability that turns out to be what we now know as Autism. The mother's persistence and love of her son while trying to keep the family together makes for compelling reading but the brother's struggle with the situation is at times difficult yet believable and other times just annoying. And aspects of the novel seem half baked, like the best friend and girlfriend who were flat and only seemed like they were only included as necessary characters for a coming of age novel but never felt real or integral to the story. The book was okay but uneven.

[Nicolas Chinardet · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's difficult to know what to make of The Boy Who Went Away. Thought the story, which starts in a fairly light-hearted manner, is told through the uncomprehending eyes of a young teen, the language is that of an adult remembering, flowering and almost poetic. Slowly things take a darker and less pleasant turn however, as the Vietnam war rumbles in the background.

Denny Graubart, the protagonist and narrator, is not a particularly pleasant character. He spies on his family and is not beyond acts of cruelty, to insects or humans alike. The Graubarts are on the surface a model family but it becomes soon clearly that James (aka Fad), Denny's older brother, is not the only one to suffer from mental illness. In fact, all four members of the family have their problems in that respect.

The linear storyline covers eight months, eight crucial months in Denny's development, where the boy tries to make sense of himself, his family and the adult world. By the end of the book, it is not certain that he has, though there are signs that he might be getting there eventually.

More problematically, because of the, by-nature, very restricted and warped point of view of the book, the reader themselves find it difficult to make complete sense of what has happened. This is perhaps where Gottlieb fails slightly in what is otherwise a very worthy effort.

I am used to reading coming-of-age stories that are also coming-out stories. Whereas coming-out stories usually depict inner turmoils within a placid environment, Denny is a straight boy and for him the difficulties are to be found in the outside world. An interesting reversal of perspective, for me.

[Jooke · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gripping story about the impact of taking care of an autistic/mentally challenged child on the family dynamics, told from the POV of the younger brother, a boy on the cusp of puberty.

I really liked the descriptions of the characters:
*Fad/James: It was clear that he's more intelligent than most would give him credit for, but that he computes everything differently and has problems with expressing feelings or anything that deviates from being measurable in fixed/palpable units.
*The mother: she loves her oldest son to bits and in a society where there isn't much known about Fads condition, she only wants the best. This makes her "neglect" the youngest son (MC) and her husband. This results in her seeking aproval and affection somewhere else.
*The father: a WO II veteran, who's closed off and copes with his wife's rejection by turning to the bottle
*Denny: A young boy who hungers for the affection and connection with his parents. So spies on them to get to know them and their motives. He also acts cruel towards his brother, because for him, his brother leaving them would mean more attention for himself.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gottlieb writes with such an intense and authentic honesty. Some passages were so raw that they were difficult to read. The perspectives Denny offers as the sibling to an autistic brother are both dark and heartbreaking. I think the detailed extrospection executed throughout the novel was a calculated choice, simultaneously staying true to its greater environmental themes while allowing readers a complete and unpolished look at a complicated, dysfunctional, and multi-faceted family. A completely vivid and electric read; if you feel nothing after finishing this book, you're probably dead inside.

[Nikki Hendricks · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this book. Unsure why people are so critical of the way the family is depicted. It's a fictional family after all. I'm glad it was written the way it was because I think it more accurately portrayed the way ASD, along with other mental differences, was looked at during the 60s. It definitely reminds me of The Catcher in the Rye in some ways as well. Look forward to reading Best Boy next. Thank you to Powell's Indiespensable club for introducing me to this author.

[Sydney]

I got this as part of my Powell's Indiespensable package. Quick read--and a very real (sometimes uncomfortably so) boy voice.

[David · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a marvelously done depiction of an impossible situation, a young teen boy swept up in the stress of a family dealing with the boy's brother's autism. The effects on him and the effects he causes, him having less choice in what is going on than anyone perhaps beyond his brother. Do the parent's really have a choice though? They have some choices in what they do, but they have to try to do best by his brother...and in the course of that neglect or damage each other and the narrator. The narrator does his own share, but he's a young teen without the benefit of moral development his parents have. I go back and forth as to whose situation is more impossible, and I include all that just to illustrate. It's a moving book both in its narrative and that moral complexity. The voice is spot on too. I'm going to read "Best Boy," what I understand to be a related work this time from the side of the brother, and see what I think of the two in total. I'm not expecting the complexity to decrease, or the skill of the depiction to go down.

[Jim B · Rating 2 out of 5]

This story about a 60's dysfunctional family dealing with a younger son who is apparently autistic is told through the unreliable view point of the older brother. He spies on his mother and is convinced she is having an affair with his brother's doctor.

I wanted to like this book. Perhaps if I'd grown up in a dysfunctional family, I would have related better to the story. It seemed to me to lack heart, possibly because it's told through the eyes of a adolescent sibling who acts out.

I try to read books that challenge my view of human nature, to try to understand how others think. I don't know if I learned anything about human nature from this book (others might, I've had my own set of life experiences). Maybe the experience I gained from reading this book is how unsatisfactory it is for a family to try to love and raise a profoundly disabled child when there isn't a lot of medical knowledge or help.

[Nan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book more than I did. The narrator, though, was barely likable. He seemed way too old for the job. His relentless pursuit of his mother's private life, his sociopathic friend, his rampage through a family doctor's office didn't quite ring true. (Maybe for a scorned older adult, but not a kid.) Although Fad, the narrator's brother is the boy who went away, he seems to be absent long before the nurse in the station wagon picked him up. (This bothers me most. People with autism do have personality and presence. They need to be seen in our lives. More of Fad needed to be seen in this book.) Fad also functioned much better than most of the kids with whom I work. It is a change in societal attitudes, I know, but Fad's institutionalization seemed unbelievable and unnecessary.

[TK · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this up after I read the author's second novel, Now You See Him, in manuscript form and was so jazzed to find a new writer to love I had to keep reading his stuff.

Many of the same things I liked about Now You See Him are present in this novel -- the sparkling prose, the unflinching look at awkwardness and painful truths. It has a darkness, and an honesty, that would make me think twice about recommending it to all but certain specific readers (city boys, smart unflappable men, broads, and maybe wives who are childless by choice).

This says more about readers than it does about the writer, in this case.

One of the things that Gottlieb does brilliantly in this novel is capture the sinister in the suburban.

[Rob Hermanowski · Rating 4 out of 5]

Eli Gottlieb's "The Boy Who Went Away" was written nearly 20 years ago, but was recently released in audio format as he has just published a companion book called "Best Boy." Both books depict someone with autism, and the tremendous impact this has on his family. Gottlieb's books are semi-autobiographical - he apparently has an autistic brother, but the family and situations he depicts in "The Boy Who Went Away" are fictional. The author is brutally honest in this book, and this frankness packs quite an emotional punch despite it's relatively short length. Chris Patton does a fine job narrating the story. I will be following this up with "Best Boy" - Gottlieb's depiction of autism in middle age - very soon.

[Mary Wilt · Rating 3 out of 5]

I went back to read this after Best Boy, which was the best novel I read last year. This book suffers by comparison because the character of the boy with autism is one-dimensional. This is appropriate, given the context of the story told from his brother's perspective. A device of the story--that the narrator is a "spy" of his family, ferreting out details of day to day life--often leads to a feeling that the story is being described, not lived. And the flat portrayal of the affected brother, while appropriate given the immaturity of the narrator, nevertheless dulls the effect of the ending. While this is a perfectly readable book with a damning portrait of social and clinical mistreatment of autism, it's possibly best read to inform your reading of Best Boy.

[Lindsay · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a heart wrenching story and I really wanted to like it more. Many things took place but it was still anticlimactic to me. The story is told by Denny in the 1960's whose brother Fad, is autistic. Denny is a self proclaimed "spy" and keeps copious notes on all of the members of his family due to his suspicions that something terrible is going on. Denny's roller coaster of emotions were written well. I loved and hated each character in this book at particular moments - which, to me, is a sign of good writing.

[Tripp · Rating 4 out of 5]

This came with the new Powell's Indispensable book Best Boy. This book is a prequel set in the 60s. In it, a family contends with a severely autistic son that no one seems to know how to treat. The doctors mostly wash their hands of them. The father retreats into drink. The mother creates a false reality in hopes of keeping her eldest out of an institution. The younger son, the narrator, is largely ignored and so steeps in resentment. Not a very pleasant story and none of the characters are fine exemplars of behavior. That said, the book feels very real and that is what makes it a solid read.

[Sylvia · Rating 4 out of 5]

This slim novel attracted my attention since I really loved Gottlieb's recent Best Boy. Told from the view of the younger brother in a dysfunctional family with an older autistic brother, this novel shows the strain and pain involved with living with a disabled sibling, who soaks up much of the family's attention and focus. I thought it was well done, but not as good as Best Boy. Together, they would make an outstanding book club discussion.

[Elderberrywine · Rating 4 out of 5]

The harrowing autobiographical account of the younger brother of a severely autistic boy set in the '60's, when the condition was little understood. Fad Graubert's mother will do absolutely anything to help her son stay out of an institution, even to the detriment of her husband and other son. The fact that the younger son is, unnoticed, staggering into puberty helps create a perfect storm of turbulence and paranoia. Powerfully written, but not a novel to wander into unawares.

[Deborah · Rating 2 out of 5]

I felt compelled to read this after finishing Gottlieb's "Best Boy", which I could not put down. For me, this book was the opposite: I couldn't wait to be finished. It was interesting to be in Denny's head the whole way, remembering how confusing adolescence can be. The best experience in the book was the long paragraph of his thoughts in answer to Sabina's question about whether he'd missed Fad ...that was a great wrap up.

[Marguerite Hargreaves · Rating 4 out of 5]

A somber and sometimes heartbreaking book about a family on the brink. Eli Gottlieb's characters are finely drawn and absolutely true to themselves. As I neared the end, I came up with three other plausible finishes, something I seldom do. This book helped me appreciate advances in understanding autism. As bad as it can be, it was worse 40 years ago.

[Lesley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I gave it four stars due to the content of the book. I read it as a history lesson to myself on Asperger's and Autism Spectrum Disorder. The way the children were treated in this book made me want to cry and beat the pulp out of the grown-ups for being so insensitive and the cruelty which followed in its wake. Well written.

[Paula Yerke · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked the premise of the book. It is a story told by the brother of a boy with autism in the 60's. It shows the difficulties in getting help for the boy and what it does to the family. The problem was the weirdness of the kid telling the story. To me, he was downright creepy. I felt that he needed just as much help as his brother. Too much dark and ugly for me.

[Wendy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Raw and unflinching, the story is frequently difficult for a mother to read, but, Oh, the writing! There were so many places where I stopped and reread a sentence or paragraph over and over for the sheer beauty and wonder of how the author put words together!

[Susan Ayars · Rating 1 out of 5]

I didn't enjoy this at all. I read it because I liked "Best Boy" by Gottlieb. This was too disturbing for my taste. The whole family was too weird, too dysfunctional. I found Denny to be scary, and half expected him to be the one who ended up being sent away in the end.

[Keith · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a short little book that packs quite an emotional punch. The narrator's mother was one of the most conflicted, vivid, and realistic characters I have seen in a novel.

[Deanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

If Holden Caulfield had an autistic older brother, this book would replace Catcher in the Rye as a tale of teen angst set against the backdrop of Middle America circa 1970.

[Chloe Knowling · Rating 4 out of 5]

An entrancing narrative about a special needs family in the 70's. A great read for someone who can identify with the characters and the difficulties they face.

[Alanoud Alajmi · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books I've read this year.

The writing is so beautiful and the way the story is approached is so raw and real. I highly recommend it.

[Renie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Loved the writing, but found parts of the tale very disturbing.

[Donna · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you read Best Boy this is a must read. The story is told by the other brother and his family before the boy went away.

[Marlana · Rating 1 out of 5]

Too weird for my taste.