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Slippery When Metastasized
Telepathic hospice workers... a Danish prince haunted by his immortality... a naked mercenary with the ultimate bioweapon... a ghostly gunslinger in a showdown with the Devil's bandits... a writer losing his dog and his mind... a wormhole with a cure to every human ill...
Slippery When Metastasized.
Sixteen whacked-out, absurdist, cross-genre pieces inspired by the author's wife and her struggles to live with, and overcome, cancer. A journey into shadow, transformation, and the dissolution of sense. A surrealist medical report on the fears, sorrows, joys, wonders, assaults, and tender moments of life when a single phone call shatters even the smallest illusions.
“Charles Austin Muir is a genre to himself... sit back and enjoy the insanity. You'll laugh your way into the abyss and maybe cry a little, too."
--Brendan Vidito, Wonderland Award-winning author of Nightmares in Ecstasy
Slippery When Metastasized.
Sixteen whacked-out, absurdist, cross-genre pieces inspired by the author's wife and her struggles to live with, and overcome, cancer. A journey into shadow, transformation, and the dissolution of sense. A surrealist medical report on the fears, sorrows, joys, wonders, assaults, and tender moments of life when a single phone call shatters even the smallest illusions.
“Charles Austin Muir is a genre to himself... sit back and enjoy the insanity. You'll laugh your way into the abyss and maybe cry a little, too."
--Brendan Vidito, Wonderland Award-winning author of Nightmares in Ecstasy
191 pages, Paperback
Published August 18, 2020
1 person is currently reading
15 people want to read
About the author
Charles Austin Muir
25 books23 followersCharles Austin Muir is a writer, visual storyteller, and personal trainer. He is the author of Slippery When Metastasized and the Splatterpunk Award-nominated This Is a Horror Book. He has also contributed to many anthologies and magazines in the horror and weird fiction genres, including Year's Best Hardcore Horror Volume One, Peel Back the Skin, and Cinema Viscera. His autobiographical short film, "A History of Worry," won Best Experimental Micro Film at the Fall 2021 Oregon Short Film Festival. He has worked as an obituary writer, humor columnist, and fitness writer. He lives in Portland, Oregon, with his wife and dogs.
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
October 27, 2024
Confession: Depending on my mood, I can be a bit of a wuss when it comes to books and films in which somber themes such as grief, loss, sickness, and death/dying feature prominently. Oftentimes, my instinct is to turn away from such works in favor of something more pleasant—something more in line with my usual, go-to forms of escapism through entertainment.
Such was my reaction when Charles Austin Muir published this collection back in August 2020. I learned right away that the book was, in large part, inspired by his wife’s (Kara Picante Muir's) current battle with stage 4 colorectal cancer. I also learned the book featured a fictional dog death inspired by a very real dog death. Yikes!
Sure, I also knew from the book’s description and promo that it included lighter elements—things like humor, absurdism, satire, weirdness, genre-jumping, etc. In other words, it wasn’t just all doom and gloom. But at the time, those all-too-real heavier elements were enough to make me think: Man, although I hope this book finds many readers and infinite success, I think I’m gonna pass on reading it myself. At least for the moment.
Yet for the next couple years, I found I was able to follow Kara’s cancer journey (with Charles as her co-pilot) by way of Charles’s amazing, brutal, and beautiful efforts to chronicle it through blogging and social media posts. Yes, although it may seem contradictory, for whatever reason or reasons, I could handle the occasional heavy blog or Facebook post but was unable to commit to reading a collection of short stories and poems touched by the same subject matter.
Fast forward to Sept. 14, 2023: Kara lost her battle with cancer. Her body did, at least.
Now, fast forward to just over a year later when, for some reason or another, Slippery When Metastasized pops into my head along with this thought: Dude, if Charles could go through what he went through, you can read that book—dog death or no dog death!
Also, although I never knew her or met her, I have a sense of Kara's spirited personality (as I'm sure many other people who've never met her do) that I’ve gleaned through Charles’s writings. As such, when the book popped into my head as I’ve described, I distinctly imagined Kara saying to me: “Quit being a big p*ssy, Douglas. Just read Charles’s damn book already!”
(I say I imagined this. But was it just my imagination?)
Anyhow, all this is to say that I finally read the amazing collection that is Slippery When Metastasized! Filled with humor, heart, and intelligence, this book is as hilarious as it is heartbreaking, as clever as it its mind-melting. Within these pages, you’ll find thought-provoking philosophical musings, ingeniously repurposed pop culture and literary references, keen social satire, outrageous absurdity, comedy, tragedy, tragicomedy, and gut-wrenching pathos, not to mention a varied palette of genre flavors that include moody sci-fi, action-adventure parody, quiet horror, and weird western—all delivered via Muir’s smart, sharp, energetic prose.
Oh, and there was a very unexpected bonus for me in the “ABOUT THE STORIES” section at the end of the book. In the notes for the incredible and hilarious “Naked Liam Neeson Gets WOKE,” Charles writes: “A debt of gratitude to my dad’s suspense novels, the work of writer Douglas Hackle (whose characters include a drum fill from a Phil Collins song)…”
Cool, eh? Your boy got a shout out!
Anyhow, in conclusion, if his awesome 2018 collection This Is a Horror Book demonstrated that the man can write, then Slippery When Metastasized proves Charles Austin Muir is brilliant. Okay, he’s a better writer than me: There, I friggin’ said it. And I’m no slouch! In fact, as far as writers go, I’m like some GOLDEN GREEK GOD WALKING AMONGST MORTALS. So, yeah, that means Charles Austin Muir is basically the friggin' Zeus of Writing.
Such was my reaction when Charles Austin Muir published this collection back in August 2020. I learned right away that the book was, in large part, inspired by his wife’s (Kara Picante Muir's) current battle with stage 4 colorectal cancer. I also learned the book featured a fictional dog death inspired by a very real dog death. Yikes!
Sure, I also knew from the book’s description and promo that it included lighter elements—things like humor, absurdism, satire, weirdness, genre-jumping, etc. In other words, it wasn’t just all doom and gloom. But at the time, those all-too-real heavier elements were enough to make me think: Man, although I hope this book finds many readers and infinite success, I think I’m gonna pass on reading it myself. At least for the moment.
Yet for the next couple years, I found I was able to follow Kara’s cancer journey (with Charles as her co-pilot) by way of Charles’s amazing, brutal, and beautiful efforts to chronicle it through blogging and social media posts. Yes, although it may seem contradictory, for whatever reason or reasons, I could handle the occasional heavy blog or Facebook post but was unable to commit to reading a collection of short stories and poems touched by the same subject matter.
Fast forward to Sept. 14, 2023: Kara lost her battle with cancer. Her body did, at least.
Now, fast forward to just over a year later when, for some reason or another, Slippery When Metastasized pops into my head along with this thought: Dude, if Charles could go through what he went through, you can read that book—dog death or no dog death!
Also, although I never knew her or met her, I have a sense of Kara's spirited personality (as I'm sure many other people who've never met her do) that I’ve gleaned through Charles’s writings. As such, when the book popped into my head as I’ve described, I distinctly imagined Kara saying to me: “Quit being a big p*ssy, Douglas. Just read Charles’s damn book already!”
(I say I imagined this. But was it just my imagination?)
Anyhow, all this is to say that I finally read the amazing collection that is Slippery When Metastasized! Filled with humor, heart, and intelligence, this book is as hilarious as it is heartbreaking, as clever as it its mind-melting. Within these pages, you’ll find thought-provoking philosophical musings, ingeniously repurposed pop culture and literary references, keen social satire, outrageous absurdity, comedy, tragedy, tragicomedy, and gut-wrenching pathos, not to mention a varied palette of genre flavors that include moody sci-fi, action-adventure parody, quiet horror, and weird western—all delivered via Muir’s smart, sharp, energetic prose.
Oh, and there was a very unexpected bonus for me in the “ABOUT THE STORIES” section at the end of the book. In the notes for the incredible and hilarious “Naked Liam Neeson Gets WOKE,” Charles writes: “A debt of gratitude to my dad’s suspense novels, the work of writer Douglas Hackle (whose characters include a drum fill from a Phil Collins song)…”
Cool, eh? Your boy got a shout out!
Anyhow, in conclusion, if his awesome 2018 collection This Is a Horror Book demonstrated that the man can write, then Slippery When Metastasized proves Charles Austin Muir is brilliant. Okay, he’s a better writer than me: There, I friggin’ said it. And I’m no slouch! In fact, as far as writers go, I’m like some GOLDEN GREEK GOD WALKING AMONGST MORTALS. So, yeah, that means Charles Austin Muir is basically the friggin' Zeus of Writing.
August 31, 2021
I don't think I fully understood what I was getting myself into when I started reading 'Slippery When Metastasized' by Charles Austin Muir.
I had only recently heard of bizarro fiction and the absurdist style, and the descriptions you read on the Internet really don't give you much to go on. I had started one other bizarro book that I really didn't get into, so I had some trepidation going into this one.
Luckily, Muir is a master at his craft, and this was a terrific read.
It starts with a poem I absolutely adored, and then dives head first into the bizarre.
If you've not read bizarro before, there's some things you have to get your head around, and suspending disbelief is just a fraction of what describes how you have to read the stories.
Muir's writing makes is easy to understand the mood he's going for in each story. Many of the stories in this book come from his experiences of working through his wife's cancer, where he explores not just his feelings but some of the confusion, weight and red tape involved in seeking out treatment.
What I find most endearing is what you're left with after you read each story, essay, or poem. I read a little bit every night instead of trying to storm through because each part required some contemplation.
The mark of really great literature is that it teaches you a little something about humanity, human nature, and what it means to exist in this world. And as absurd as some of these stories are, no matter what world they played out in, there is a lot to learn from them. Each story takes you through the gamut of emotions. You take in a lot and are left with so much to ponder. I often had to lift my head, take a deep breath, and wait a little before I let my brain sort through the sadness, anger, frustration, joy, and peace.
This is definitely worth a read no matter what you're into. While the absurdist style is different, the stories here are just beautiful and leave you with so much.
I had only recently heard of bizarro fiction and the absurdist style, and the descriptions you read on the Internet really don't give you much to go on. I had started one other bizarro book that I really didn't get into, so I had some trepidation going into this one.
Luckily, Muir is a master at his craft, and this was a terrific read.
It starts with a poem I absolutely adored, and then dives head first into the bizarre.
If you've not read bizarro before, there's some things you have to get your head around, and suspending disbelief is just a fraction of what describes how you have to read the stories.
Muir's writing makes is easy to understand the mood he's going for in each story. Many of the stories in this book come from his experiences of working through his wife's cancer, where he explores not just his feelings but some of the confusion, weight and red tape involved in seeking out treatment.
What I find most endearing is what you're left with after you read each story, essay, or poem. I read a little bit every night instead of trying to storm through because each part required some contemplation.
The mark of really great literature is that it teaches you a little something about humanity, human nature, and what it means to exist in this world. And as absurd as some of these stories are, no matter what world they played out in, there is a lot to learn from them. Each story takes you through the gamut of emotions. You take in a lot and are left with so much to ponder. I often had to lift my head, take a deep breath, and wait a little before I let my brain sort through the sadness, anger, frustration, joy, and peace.
This is definitely worth a read no matter what you're into. While the absurdist style is different, the stories here are just beautiful and leave you with so much.
August 20, 2020
If you love short stories, twist endings, and Naked Liam Neeson, look no further than Slippery When Metastasized. Author Charles Muir takes you on a wonderful journey through creative character development, strange and incredulous worlds, and delightful, head scratching prose. Having read his previous work, his attention to detail is more immersive than ever before, painting an incredible picture in only a few pages and creating a connection direct into the psyche of his characters.
What really makes this book unique, however, is the sometimes analogy and sometimes direct reflection of himself and his own experiences. You can't help but wonder how much of what he writes is fact or fiction, and whether or not it's a good idea to go into a library with him (if you've read "This is a Horror Book", you'll be delighted to see a returning theme here).
Read this book! Or Naked Liam Neeson will find you.
What really makes this book unique, however, is the sometimes analogy and sometimes direct reflection of himself and his own experiences. You can't help but wonder how much of what he writes is fact or fiction, and whether or not it's a good idea to go into a library with him (if you've read "This is a Horror Book", you'll be delighted to see a returning theme here).
Read this book! Or Naked Liam Neeson will find you.
August 19, 2020
Can a collection of short stories and poetry which are complex, moving, clever, funny, heartbreaking, highly stylized, self-referential, sometimes silly fun and sometimes deeply philosophical, and always well-crafted be accurately described as 'simply awesome'? It can. It is.
September 28, 2020
I read this a while ago but forgot to review it. Charles Austin Muir is a wonderful short story writer. This is his strongest work. These stories, while humorous, absurd and weird, are so full of heart that they pull at the reader. This floored me. Highly recommended.
August 18, 2020
A super weird and imaginative journey through all kinds of places, situations, and pop cultural ephemera. I chose to read the Acknowledgements, Introduction, and About the Stories first, which added a layer of poignancy to the whole thing. While each story can be read in isolation as little worlds of their own, you come to discover throughout that they're stitched together with these recurring motifs, characters, and big questions that motivate the whole work. Many memorable figures appear-(El Barko Ponderosa, Christian Bale's Batman Voice, Dr. Ligotti Bongiovi, Wolfman), as the writing weaves science fiction, horror, humor, and popular culture. My favorite moments were when the author's voice comes through to speak directly to me, the reader. I like the idea raised by the Introduction, which considers what the limits are of scientific, observable forms of knowledge. Through this line of inquiry we learn of #TruthCancer, which takes on a particular significance given the personal experiences that undergird the author's personal journey while writing the book. And the opening poem about air guitar sets the whole thing off in the right direction, gesturing towards an invisible instrument in such an apparently meaningful way.
September 19, 2020
Great book. The stories are clever and inventive. The poems are fun. And I love the art between stories.
October 26, 2020
Who else besides Charles Austin Muir can turn some tragic real-life events into a hysterical, touching, and at-times beautiful book of stories? His writing style is unique and weird and meta, crammed with pop culture references that aren't just jokes, but actual plot hooks. And while I really enjoyed Muir's previous outting in This is a Horror Book, this collection has even more of a heart to it.
Between the ever-present threat of his wife's cancer, his dog's passing, a pandemic, and the disconnect of a society gapped by social media, Muir uses these to focus his stories and poems into poignant and funny and positive and funny and funny works. At the very least (while I think this book is much, much more), Slippery When Metastasized proves that Muir's talent is in connecting people through his own optimism of his struggles.
Between the ever-present threat of his wife's cancer, his dog's passing, a pandemic, and the disconnect of a society gapped by social media, Muir uses these to focus his stories and poems into poignant and funny and positive and funny and funny works. At the very least (while I think this book is much, much more), Slippery When Metastasized proves that Muir's talent is in connecting people through his own optimism of his struggles.
March 5, 2022
In Slippery When Metastasized, Charles Austin Muir offers stories and prose interspersed with poetry and art, and, while each piece is distinct, the collection is unified by its high-absurdist/surrealist experimentation laced with pop-culture references. It’s a manifesto about how anxiety, confusion, and grief can disrupt reality. It’s also meditation on the fragility and plasticity of bodies, the transitory nature of our health, and the fraught relationship between perception and reality. These works are funny, irreverent, and fast-paced---they revel in their own weirdness. At the same time, there is nothing frivolous about them. Like the best bizzaro/fabulist/absurdist storytelling, Charles Austin Muir pursues something MORE real than “realism”—something that touches on the bewilderment, confusion, and frustrations we all intimately know but can rarely describe. There are real truths in this collection, and the most important of these might be that, despite the strange, ridiculous, illogical conditions that tangle and complicate these characters’ attempts at life, at even the lowest points they remain able to forge kind of meaningful connections to one another, and, it’s through this that this collection of stories about mortality, separation, violence, and chaos can also be a collection of stories about love, optimism, and hope.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews