More Than A Mom: Finding Purpose In the Everyday Monotony Without Losing Yourself Or Your Sanity

by Ashley Carbonatto, Morgan Taylor (Photographer)

The daunting and not-for-faint-of-heart journey of motherhood is best survived with the humor and wit of Ashley Carbonatto’s story telling and no-nonsense guide to the world’s hardest job. From heart-felt to hilarious, Ashley’s own path of motherhood has been a faith-journey through unexpected ups and downs of learning to re-discover her identity that motherhood tried to strip away. With tales of daily loneliness, anxiety and postpartum along with lessons of growth, self-discovery, and friendship, this book is the guide from a sister in the trenches that will meet the everyday mom right where she’s at. Whether you’re a first-time mom trying to find up from down and make sense of your newly-acquired job title, or the experienced veteran crawling to the finish line of bedtime with wheels missing and your wagon on fire, More Than A Mom will be your encouragement, source of humor, and honest companion. With a lack of short cuts and five-star resorts on this path, this is the guide for the everyday mom to find freedom in the woman she was created to be as she looks to find purpose in the mundane & monotonous tasks that come along with motherhood.Ashley Carbonatto is a domestically underachieving mom-of-three who juggles all the things. She’s a gatherer of people, a welcomer to the outsider, a storyteller to the tired, and an entertainer to the downcast. After leaving a successful career, she re-discovered her voice and renewed purpose in motherhood, but in her own unconventional way. You need homemade frosting? She’s not the one you call. But you need a good story and honest reflection? Ashley’s your woman. She lives in Issaquah, Washington with her husband & three minions, and always has a drink in the fridge for anyone who stops by.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction

284 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 1, 2020

Reviews

[Amy Pavlish · Rating 5 out of 5]

Never have I ever read such a vulnerable and honest experience of motherhood, that is SO RELATABLE. Whether you're a full-time or part-time working outside of the home mom, or a stay-at-home mom, being a mom is the hardest freaking job. Ashley brings understanding and gives words to what every mom feels or has felt before, but just doesn't talk about for fear of judgement or misunderstanding. She gives moms a new sense of freedom to BE who they're created to be and NOT BE who they aren't. It's also just packed with wisdom and PRACTICAL ideas from someone with more than a decade under her belt of being married and being a mom. Read this, and buy an extra copy for your friend while you're at it. It's hilarious and comforting and inspiring, and will be a breath of fresh air for your mama soul!

[Courtney Olivero · Rating 4 out of 5]

I must say this is a great book for those that got lost in the mom role. Those that don’t remember who you were before and now after. We so easily lose ourselves and you are not alone with that feeling. We were so much more before and will be so much more after AND during. Being a mom is just part of who we are but there are sooooo many more beautiful parts to us too and this book is a reminder ❤️

[Kelsey Smith · Rating 2 out of 5]

Quite frankly, I was not a huge fan of this book. First, there was just too much religion/finding purpose through god in it for me. As someone who does not subscribe to organized religion, this just didn't resonate with me.

I also felt like the author spends the entire book talking about how hard motherhood is and how much she wanted to find something OTHER than (or in addition to) motherhood to give her life meaning. She talks about wanting to find a job and no longer be a stay-at-home-mom, wanting to start a podcast, etc. And at the end, her "solution" to these feelings is just to lean in more to being a stay-at-home-mom and to work to feel fulfilled with just her family as her point of purpose. (I feel like she's not truly listening to what she wants...)

[Brittney B · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ashley Carbonatto writes the book we all needed when raising littles. She is real, witty, and nothing short of her unabashed self. As one who longed for
motherhood for years, now finally experiencing it through foster care and adoption, this read peels back the layers of what we “think” motherhood is supposed to be. It’s momming for the rest of us, but the real treasure is discovery of God-given purpose while wading through the muck. I’m simultaneously grateful to be a mom AND more than!

[Jillian · Rating 2 out of 5]

Stopped reading somewhere in chapter 8. I could not relate to the author besides sharing our Christian faith. She really glamorizes her life prior to being a mom. Seems like she really misses that part of her life. I’m a suburban homeschool mom so couldn’t relate to the LA pastimes of hers.

[Ericka Bohle · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you're a new mom, read Chapters 1-7.
If you're a veteran mom, read Chapter 7-end.
If you're a mom who's not already in therapy, here's a great place to start 😉

[Emily Maglietti · Rating 5 out of 5]

A real, raw, relatable and authentically written book that pulls at the heart strings. Ashley’s stories pull you in and challenge you to shift/change/reflect on your experiences, perspective and the meaning you have placed on your role as a mom. I loved every minute of it and can’t wait for her next book!

[Krista Haskins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ashley nails motherhood on the head. It always feels good for someone else to call out all the things you are feeling. This book should be required reading for all mothers, everywhere. It is okay to be okay, no one is perfect at anything, why should motherhood be any different? It shouldn’t and that is the point Ashley drives home just perfectly.

[Hillary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this book is like sitting down with your best friend and really digging into all the hard things about motherhood. Feeling heard, feeling seen, and feeling no judgment. Only an offer of understanding and grace. Ashley’s conversational style and hilarious take on motherhood makes “More Than a Mom” an easy read and so relatable.

[Carla · Rating 1 out of 5]

Honestly, I shouldn't have bothered finishing this book... I knew early on that her experience of motherhood was so far from my experience and perspective, but I thought I might glean something from another point of view (especially with her being an enneagram 3, where 9 goes in health).. But her total lack of respect when talking about her kids (often calling them "terds" and other "humorous" insults), constantly wanting to get away from her kids (and husband it seemed) and how much she, even at the end, didn't enjoy being a stay at home mom, just really rubbed me the wrong way. Like, just don't be a stay at home mom then..... Maybe she felt societal pressure? Maybe she really thinks that's what she wants? I don't know. It just all left a bad taste in my mouth.

[Rebecca Johnson · Rating 2 out of 5]

I personally did not care for this book. It was a quick read for me but I did not find everything relatable. It brings up the struggles that moms have but her lense, in my opinion, doesn't fully meet the average family. Being a stay at home mom and being able to out source a number of the home management duties is not something the average single income family can afford. I'm personally not a stay at home mom, but have a number of friends that are and they manage the household.

[Devin McDonough · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted so badly to like this book as I am currently transitioning out of my corporate career to being a full-time mom. There were a few good points that made me think and appreciate but overall I didn’t connect with the author at all. She’s writing about being a sahm but basically hates being a mom. (I’m sure she doesn’t but her book only talked about how soul-sucking and terrible being a mom is and how great her life was before kids.) Not to mention the number of typos. Wouldn’t recommend.

[Nicola Thompson · Rating 1 out of 5]

So religious, every answer to every problem is god. I also struggle with being a mother but I still love being a mother. I commend Ashley for opening up but there is nothing in this book about actually loving being a mother and improving your overall life other than to become Christian.

[Nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny, somewhat comforting. Her story drags on and is unprocessed which drags you down with her.

[Holly Finner · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read up to page 104. I couldn’t get through the rest of the book with so many references to Christ/Jesus. I liked the author’s voice until she got preachy…literally. Just not for me.

[Kylie]

Relatable, but slow. Found myself not wanting to pick it back up.

[Rachel Rodriguez · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was fine until claiming that working mothers are neglecting their families. It's 2024, most women have to work and I'd bet that most of them even enjoy it.

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

How to rate, how to rate?

I feel like that’s the story of my life. I chose 3 stars for this book for a couple reasons (I.e., I took away 2 stars).
First, the author’s use of vulgarity. As a proclaimed Christian, there is no reason to be using those words, but definitely not for something mass produced and as frequently as she did. (1 per chapter, minimum.)
Second, maybe it works for her marriage, but the author frequently mentions something major she did without telling her husband, almost promoting that sort of behavior. If that’s not how she meant it, then I read between the lines, but it seems almost like she is proud of going off on this trip or doing that thing without telling him. Side note, she refers to her partner on multiple occasions, but she also refers to her husband. Are they the same person?

Anyway, I chose to view this book more as a self-help for overcoming labels with mom/wife advice sprinkled in.

Read at your own discretion. 📚

[Kimberly Duncan · Rating 3 out of 5]

It wasn’t bad. She definitely made some honest and beautifully vulnerable motherhood struggles come to life and relatable in some areas. Some ways she wasn’t as relatable, but her life is different from mine so that is to be expected. It took a solid 8 chapters to get going- chapters 1-7 were slow and I’d almost miss the point, but it got better. I wish she had spent more time expanding and pouring into some chapters and spend less time trying to be “funny” or “sarcastic”, if that’s what she was doing. She had some great pointers and ideas, I won’t deny that.
I don’t regret reading it, but I don’t see myself reading it again.

[Amanda Gallenberg · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a great read. I could relate in many ways and the #momguilt she shared in the book made me not feel alone in my own. My favorite quote that I need to implement in my own vocabulary as a parent: "Your lack of preparation is not my emergency." Seriously....I need to take her advice and jump off the kids crazy train sometimes. At the end of the day, this is my circus and these are my monkeys and I wouldn't change any of it. But maybe a little more self-care is needed--both for myself, my husband, and as a couple separate from the kids.

[Melissa Kearney · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not what I expected. Probably a good book for young stay at home moms that may be experiencing mental or emotional issues or had ever experienced a heavy loss. I was looking more for moms that work, raise kids, juggle a career and take care of house. Just wasn't for my situation but may be good for others.

[Brooklyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great read! I enjoyed it in tiny bits in the chair while breastfeeding. It was like an encouraging and real friend giving me a little pep talk every time I read.
Ashley shares some very helpful advice, reminders, and experiences.
A touch ramblely at times, but it adds to the friendship feel of the book. I recommend it to struggling and thriving new moms!

[Kasie Lyster · Rating 5 out of 5]

mom must read

I’m not a reader and took my time with this book and on some tough days I would pick it up and start off where I was and it just was perfect for that day. She truly touches every part of motherhood and makes you feel so normal all the way we feel as moms. I love it and will probably read again.

[Samantha Sewell · Rating 1 out of 5]

I do not recommend this book. She seems to really dislike being a stay at home mom, she out sources most of the job and while the book doesn’t describe its self as religious she has a lot of quotes from the Bible and references Jesus a lot. I was definitely not looking for a Christian text nor to read from someone who truly doesn’t seem to like the job at all. Disappointing.

[Angela Fawcett · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every single mom, going to be mom, thinking of having kids, grandparents and just everyone else needs to read this book! It's such a good book and let's us moms know that we aren't the only ones drowning in the everyday of raising kids, we all are.

[Danise Sumner · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was okay- I was hoping for more. Definitely relatable but didn’t walk away with any new ideas or info. Also a lot of religious context that I wasn’t expecting. I appreciate Ashley’s effort to wanting to help moms through these hard seasons and being very real/vulnerable.

[Alexandra Edge · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author and I have very different backgrounds and it was hard to understand her plight in finding herself again in motherhood. She just didn’t work for me. However her writing is pretty enjoyable. If she ever chose to write fiction, I think I would pick her back up.

[Makayla · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very relatable as a stay at home mom! I love that she pulls in scripture and talks about faith. I didn’t like how wine was a big part of it though as I’m not a fan of mommy wine culture.

[Cheyenne]

PAUSE @ Page 50 (Just not holding my attention at the moment)

[Roxanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Didn’t love it, didn’t hate it. Author is pretty relatable but other chapters dragged on or didn’t entice me to want to keep reading. This may be why it took me so long to finish.