Dreams of the Dying

The Twelfth World #1

by Nicolas Lietzau

If your mind is the enemy, where do you run?

Years after a harrowing war experience, ex-mercenary Jespar Dal'Varek has taken to drifting. It's a lonely existence, but, barring the occasional bout of melancholia, he has found the closest thing to peace a man like him deserves. Life is "all right."

Or so he believes. Hoping to turn the page, Jespar accepts a mysterious invitation into the beautiful but dangerous archipelago of Kilay-and everything changes.

Plagued by explosive social tensions and terrorism, the tropical empire is edging ever closer to civil war. Kilay's merchant king is the only person able to prevent this catastrophe, but he has fallen into a preternatural coma-and it's Jespar's task to figure out what or who caused it. As the investigation takes him across the archipelago and into the king's nightmares, unexpected events not only tie Jespar's own life to the mystery but also unearth inner demons he believed to be long exorcised.

Battling old trauma while fighting for his life, his sanity, and the fate of Kilay, the line between dream and reality blurs until only one question remains: If your mind is the enemy, where do you run?

Described as "Inception in a Polynesian fantasy setting," Dreams of the Dying is a slow-burning, haunting blend of fantasy, mystery, and psychological horror, that explores mental illness, morality, and the dark corners of our minds.

The hardcover edition comes with an illustrated appendix that includes:

A short geographical overview of the Kilayan Archipelago
An essay on the history of the Archipelago and the Illumined World
A bestiary of the Archipelago's native creatures
Pencil sketches of the characters, as envisioned by another in-universe character
An overview of the seven Light-Born, the pantheon of the Illumined World
A Nehrimese tailor's impressions of Kilayan fashion
A guide to Makehu, the language spoken by the Makehu people, designed by a professional linguist
The Great Umbra and the Resurrection of the World, the creation myth of the Makehu
To the Moon I Say Farewell, a poem by Jespar's sister

Genres: Fantasy, Horror, Fiction, Adult, Mystery, Dark Fantasy, High Fantasy

826 pages, Hardcover

First published October 28, 2020

About the author

I’m an independent German author best known for my writing for the award-winning indie videogame Enderal, which grew from niche favorite to cult hit.

Growing up in both the heart of Munich and a bucolic Bavarian farmhouse, my love for stories began by reading German fairytales in the attic and was nurtured by copious amounts of fiction, ranging from fantasy to horror to historical to literary.

Many things have shaped my writing: a turbulent childhood, living in five different countries, and a loss of reality I suffered due to experiments in lucid dreaming. I feel drawn to people and experiences off the beaten path and try to make my work reflect that. I currently live as a digital nomad traveling across Europe as I work on the second Enderal novel.

Reviews

[Petrik · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have a Booktube channel now! Subscribe here: https://www.youtube.com/petrikleo

Review copy provided by the author in exchange for an honest review.

A new masterpiece is here. It is a cliché to say this, but Dreams of the Dying is seriously one of the best books I’ve ever read.

“The mind is a malleable thing. Soil, if you’re feeling poetic. Depending on the seed, anything will grow in it, from graceful gardens to idyllic meadows, from weedy forests to foggy swamps. Harmonious or chaotic, peaceful or perilous, healthy or ill—it’s all a matter of seeds.

First of all, Dreams of the Dying is the biggest production value I’ve ever seen being given to a self-published book; it’s up there with Dragon Mage by M.L. Spencer for a non-Kickstarter campaigned book. In fact, the production value of this novel overshadowed the majority of traditionally published books. If you decide to buy this book and somehow never gotten around to reading it, this novel would actually work beautifully as a luxurious decoration on your home, but more on this later. Here’s the thing, when Lietzau approached me asking me to review his debut, I accepted the review request despite having an unhealthy TBR pile that judges me every day of my life; you know me, how could I resist after looking at that gorgeous cover art? And I’m super glad I accepted it. I absolutely loved this book. This book was so good that I honestly won’t accept any words of gratitude from Lietzau if he wants to thank me for writing this review. Why? Because I should be the one thanking him for giving me the chance to read this fantastic debut.

“Our minds shape reality ... that is why superstitious peasants burn witches, jealous lovers murder their beloved, and lonely veterans put nooses around their necks.”

Dreams of the Dying is the first book in Enderal trilogy by Nicolas Lietzau, and it revolves around Jespar Dal’Varek; years after a harrowing war experience, Jespar has taken to drifting. Excluding the occasional moments of melancholia, he tells himself that life is alright. Hoping to turn the page, Jespar accepts a mysterious invitation into the beautiful and dangerous archipelago of Kilay. Kilay is on the brink of civil war, and Jaanos Oonai—Kilay’s merchant king—may be the only one able to prevent this catastrophe, but he has fallen into a preternatural coma. It is Jespar’s job to figure out the mystery behind this, but little did he know that this investigation and the king’s nightmares will require him to face his past and trauma. Battling old trauma while fighting for his life, sanity, and the fate of Kilay, the line between dream and reality blurs further and further, until one question remains: If your mind is the enemy, where do you run? Remember this line; it is one of the most integral themes of the entire book. Although battles, war, and pulse-pounding scenes indeed exist in Dreams of the Dying, I want you to know that this isn’t a battle-centered novel; Lietzau steers the majority of the narrative in the novel towards the psychological aspect, and they were exceptional.

“Be realistic, Lysia, the only time a running system ever changes is in response to a crisis. As long as life is all right for the majority, nothing’s gonna happen… And when things do go south, people will always resort to violence. It’s just human nature.”

Dreams of the Dying is an incredibly character-driven—my favorite type of story—novel, and with his characters, Lietzau tackles a lot of difficult and resonating issues such as mental illness, redemption, trauma, love, power, ambition, poverty, and wealth. In popular pop culture, Dreams of the Dying can probably be defined as a more insane version of Inception. However, this is an oversimplification; there’s so much more to this novel. Madness, politics, friendship, dreams, the rise to power, and how ascendancy to a higher status corrupts a good intention in an individual was executed with utter finesse.

“If you fight injustice with injustice, no matter how deserved it may feel, you’ll always end up as just another turn of the wheel.”

Lietzau deserves a standing ovation for the wonderful characterizations he successfully implemented into the characters here. Jespar, The Man, Lysia, Kawu, Agaam, and many more were totally compelling characters; they’re flawed, complex, morally grey, and the characterizations given to them were nothing short of outstanding. We really get to see their emotions laid bare and raw; this was especially true for the two main POV characters: Jespar and The Man. I am in awe at what Lietzau achieved here with these two characters. Jespar and The Man did questionable actions, but I never once felt like they were acting out of their characters; most importantly, I understood them. The Stormlight Archive by Brandon Sanderson is one of my top favorite series of all time, and among many things, Sanderson’s handling of depression and mental illness was one of the reasons why. I truly believe that Dreams of the Dying contains the finest exploration on depression and melancholia that I’ve read since The Stormlight Archive. Yes, it is THAT good.

“People were so quick to point at all those inspiring stories of catharsis, completely ignoring the fact that the vast majority of the broken never beat their demons, that the drunkard’s son stayed with the bottle, the war widow never conquered her loneliness, and the defiled child never wiped that imagined black stain from their soul. Because in a world that worshipped the victorious, who the hell wanted to hear about the defeated?”

As I mentioned earlier, the entire story is told exclusively through Jespar and The Man’s perspective. It’s true that Jespar’s POV chapters filled the majority of the novel, and they’re indeed excellent, but I do honestly believe that Lietzau displayed an immensely admirable talent in his characterizations further with The Interludes chapters; The Man’s POV chapters. I think it’s quite clear who The Man is from his first few chapters, but for the sake of keeping this review spoiler-free, I’m going to keep referring to this character as The Man. It’s not an exaggeration for me to say that the Interludes in Dreams of the Dying are some of the greatest relatively short chapters I’ve ever witnessed; they’re highly effective and efficient in giving all the necessary characterizations to “The Man.” I was immediately hooked and absorbed right from his first chapter, and seeing his character development—enhanced by what we’ve learned through Jespar’s POV—fascinated me. He’s one of the most well-written anti-heroes—if you can call him that—I’ve ever read in speculative fiction. I love to hate his character, but I also can’t help but be completely manipulated into being transfixed by his actions and charisma. Everything about his story was dark, visceral, and marvelous; I have no doubt that grimdark fantasy enthusiasts will have a blast reading The Man’s POV chapters.

“Life is an arena, and even if you’re the champion, one second of weakness is all it takes for the lions to pounce. Always remember that.”

The world-building in Dreams of the Dying is intricate and meticulously built. I’m not kidding; the author has gone above and beyond to work with a professional linguist and cartographer to create a believable language and map; the detailed histories and different cultures of the world established so far here made my immersion when I’m reading the book even more powerful. Then there’s also the magic system and users; biomancer, psychomancer, dreamwalker—a Sight that allows the Sighted to enter someone else’s dreams—and more. There’s just so much to unpack here; The Kilayan Archipelago is beautiful, huge, and get this, this archipelago is only one small part of the world—Vyn—that Lietzau has created; there’s still so much more to explore, and I can’t wait to read about them.

Picture: Dreams of the Dying by Stefan Stankovic



To say that I enjoyed reading this book may be an understatement here; I loved Lietzau’s way of writing. Every phrase and line was delivered with impact, and no page ever felt wasted. Lietzau covers philosophical, metaphor, humor, love, and thought-provoking passages skillfully; the emotions of the characters were palpable, and my experience of reading this book was vivid. It is hard to write a not-confusing and captivating dream sequences, but the haunting visions that Lietzau has painted with his words were easy to follow and unforgettable; I don’t think I can ever forget the dream sequences I’ve read here. Every philosophical discussion plays a part in enriching the plot and characterizations. Plus, Lietzau made sure that the philosophical discussions weren’t there just to be highlighted. I won’t lie, the novel can be bleak at times; the tackling of mental illness will more often than not result in a bleak and heartbreaking narrative. However, Dreams of the Dying is also embedded with hope, redemption, and love, and I cherished them all. There’s a lot of food for thoughts and discussions here for sure, and maybe one day—if I have the time—I’ll make a video or two about the content and greatness of it in more detail.

“Change isn’t a flash but a long and rocky road.”

Lastly, this review is long enough already, but it would be incomplete if I don’t talk about the stunning production value. The cover art—one of the best cover arts I’ve ever seen—and all the interior artworks are done by Dominik Derow; do check out his portfolio. Johanna Krunes is in charge of the Cover Layout and Design of the book. Speaking of design, Lietzau did an interesting thing with the format in some pages to elaborate upon the state of mind that Jespar experienced, and I think they’re smartly used. The only two other occasions where I encountered such a clever usage of formatting were in The Nevernight Chronicle by Jay Kristoff and The Wounded Kingdom trilogy by R.J. Barker. Now let’s talk about the hardcover edition that comes with exclusive content. The hardcover edition featured a 100-page illustrated appendix at the end of the book. This bonus content consists of chapters that heightened the quality of the world-building. I’m going to list them here:

• An essay on the history of the Kilayan Archipelago and the Illumined World
• A short geographical overview of the Kilayan Archipelago
• A bestiary of the Archipelago's native creatures
• A guide to Makehu, the language spoken by the Makehu people, designed by a professional linguist
• A Nehrimese tailor’s impressions of Kilayan fashion
• A lecture on Oneiromancy
• The Great Umbra and the Resurrection of the World, the creation myth of the Makehu
• Pencil sketches of the characters, as envisioned by another in-universe character
• An overview of the seven Light-Born, the pantheon of the Illumined World
• To the Moon I Say Farewell, a poem by Jespar’s sister

The hardcover is more pricey, and I’m fortunate to be given the hardcover edition to read and review, but if that weren’t the case, I’m sure I would’ve chosen for the hardcover edition anyway; I’m a sucker for illustrated edition, I don’t know how to resist them. Here are a few—there’s a LOT of illustrations—examples of the artworks:



Whether it’s from the exterior or interior, Dreams of the Dying is a must-have and must-read fantasy novel for fans of the genre, especially if you love reading about morally grey characters we can empathize with. This is a novel that is both superbly produced and written. Every sentence is supplied with brilliance, and I have nothing but praise for Dreams of the Dying; it is simply a masterpiece. If you look at my ‘masterpieces’ shelf, there’s only one self-published book there: The Sword of Kaigen by M.L. Wang. Dreams of the Dying will deservedly accompany The Sword of Kaigen there. Just like The Sword of Kaigen, in its own way, I started this book expecting an incredible read, but I finished it realizing that I’ve just read one of a kind reading experience that will be challenging to imitate by any other authors. At the time of writing this review, Dreams of the Dying has an average rating of 4.78 out of 138 ratings and 66 reviews on Goodreads; I personally think this is an utterly well-deserved average rating, but it definitely needs more readership. Read this book ASAP; there’s no cliffhanger, and the book worked absolutely well as a standalone while promising new storylines to come. The ending isn’t even anything explosive, but my heart was constantly pounding. You can’t run from your own mind, and my mind can’t stop thinking about the events that have transpired in this novel. Read this amazing book.

“Once the mind commits to a story, the facts become secondary. Truth bows to bias.”

You can order the book from: Amazon UK | Amazon US | Book Depository (Free shipping) | Bookshop (Support Local Bookstores!)

You can find this and the rest of my reviews at Novel Notions

Special thanks to my Patrons on Patreon for giving me extra support towards my passion for reading and reviewing!

My Patrons: Alfred, Alya, Annabeth, Ben, Blaise, Devin, Diana, Edward, Hamad, Helen, Jimmy Nutts, Joie, Lufi, Melinda, Mike, Miracle, Nicholas, Seth, Shaad, Summer, Zoe.

[Books with Brittany · Rating 5 out of 5]

fxcking yes. this is what I’m looking for.
god this was good.

[Kitty G Books · Rating 4 out of 5]

*I was sent this free from the author in return for an honest review*

**Trigger warning: Suicide, Body horror**

This book, first off, I have to say has such a high quality production value for a self-published one. The hardback particularly is beautiful and so well out together. There's also a whole load of bonus material at the end of the story which includes incredible artwork, beasts, essays and more. All of this bonus content is really fun and makes the whole package worth spending more on.

The story itself is a twisty one, we're following Jesper who is a man lost in his memories and the trials of his life to this point. He's our main character and we follow various timelines if the present day through to past events and even dream-based realities and nightmares. The character Jesper is a troubled one, and not one you will necessarily relate with straight away, but as you learn more about Jesper you will understand his reasons for his moods. He's a bit of a loner and he isolates himself quite often, but he also craves love and isn't afraid to take that step when he meets people that work well with him.

Jesper is roped into a mystery, along with a few other characters, to try and solve a strange, dream-based plot. He's not super familiar with dream-walking but he has intimate knowledge of nightmares and the horrors sleep can bring. This, along with his family heritage, lands him the job. The mystery leads him and his fellows all over the land, uncovering plots and conspiracy along the way.

The themes of mental health are strong within this, and the author talks a bit about their own personal struggles at the end. It's a story where you can feel the emotions shining through and the characters have many deep discussions about self-worth, morals, ambiguities and more. I enjoyed the deep dives into some of the darker parts of humanity, and it certainly raises some good thought moments.

My only real quibble with this book was the female characters, who seem to get the short end of the stick quite a lot in this with them being rejected by men all over the place. Although I think there were some okay moments, most of the ladies really don't get a good look in and I felt like I wanted some better female representatives. It would certainly have been nice to see two main characters, one female, or at least to see the ladies have a more prominent part which was less to do with the men around them.

Overall, it's a solid book which reads easily once you get into the magic of the dreams and nightmares. With some more lady leads I would have really loved it, as it stands I enjoyed it a lot. The bonus content in particular is top-notch and the writing is well-done for a debut. 4*s from me.

[Dannii Elle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Actual rating 4.5/5 stars. This is the first instalment in the Enderal series.

I started this 700+ page fantasy in December of 2020 but didn’t get further than 100 pages into it before the year ended. It's a testament to how vivid the storytelling is that not a single facet of the story has been lost to me, despite the three months it has taken me to read it. This time lapse is very much only a testament to how crazy the world has been, during this time, and how I have been entirely unable to tear myself away from real-world politics to focus on fictional ones.

The court intrigue, the underhanded tactics of the wealthy, the abhorrent abuse of power, and the disregard for human life, that feature heavily here, all bear similarities to our present-world. It made an already incredibly complex and twisted storyline become that much more of an emotional one, because of it.

Asides from the political focus, this also interwove so many of my favourite fantastical tropes into one seamless and cohesive adventure. The magic system was unique, the world was well-structured, the characters varied, the villains difficult to spot, and the heroes crafted with their various flaws still intact. My favourite aspect was how some of the characters dove into the dreams of others and it proved a fascinating concept to explore.

I honestly have no bad words for this novel and was eagerly anticipating the end of each work day so I could dive back into this story and immerse myself in a few more pages.

[Wick Welker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Vivid world building, complex characterization and deft social commentary.

I was made aware of this book from Petrik Leo (Novel Notions) who mentioned it was one of the best books he had ever read. Needless to say, I rocketed Dreams of Dying up my TBR and I’m glad I did because I found a well written indie book with great pacing, haunting atmosphere, dynamic world building, and complex characters. A bonus was finding provocative commentary about capitalism, wealth disparity and the dubious virtues of rugged individualism.

First with the world building—it was a delight. This book takes place on an archipelago built upon the labor of a proletariat class working, toiling under the fist of a cabal of magnates. On top of onerous taxes and terrible public policies designed to create even more agitation from the labor class, the people are exposed to environmental hazards and toxic chemicals with no access to healthcare. Sounds very familiar. There is a kind of mental magic system, dimensionality. While some of the details of this were explained, it still remained unclear to me which I didn’t mind too much.

The characters are fantastic. Jespar, Lysia and Kuwa are well fleshed out. The romance is not straight forward. Things get messy real fast and then get even more complicated by the end of the book. Don’t expect classic character arcs here; the author does a good job of keeping these characters very real. Jespar, in particular, is a difficult character. What I mean is, he has a tragic past which fills him with self doubt and makes him quite unstable. He is an engrossing, frustrating and also tragic character. A huge component of this book is how someone struggles with mental health and maybe more importantly, how one copes with depression knowing that there are no tangible solutions. The author put much care into handling this and I must say he did a beautiful job. I think this book will relate with, and legitimately help, a lot of people who struggle with similar problems.

The overall plot was awesome. I loved the twists and turns of the story and wow the dream sequences were creepy as hell. The author definitely took a couple pages from the screenplay of the Inception but that’s okay, it was really fun to read. I’m a big fan of the ultimate message and philosophy of this book: ideology is destructive, pragmatism is the only solution that results in change. This message really resonated with me.

I have never read a book like Dreams of Dying and highly recommend it to any fantasy fan but any lover of good fiction. I’m looking forward to reading more from this author. Btw, I’m completely unfamiliar with the games upon which this book was based and it didn’t affect my enjoyment.

[Athena (OneReadingNurse) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am feeling the fall vibes, long sleeves, and books that contain corpses and nightmares …. Hey!

Today I am endlessly grateful to author Nicolas Lietzau (pronounced Lee-tsow) for the stunning hardcover of his novel Dreams of the Dying.  The naked cover mirrors the dust jacket and makes the book an excellent Halloween/shelf decoration as well as a memorable read, so definitely put this on your radar!

This is a pretty difficult book to unpack. I know a lot of my followers have played Skyrim – if you played the Enderal mod you may be familiar with the author's writing, but knowledge of the Enderal story is not required to enjoy the book!)

 The Worldbuilding: one of the best parts about the hardcover was all of the extras in the appendix.  This is a clearly lovingly crafted world that had an insane amount of planning involved, both on a macro and micro level.  There is plenty of world building in the book including local foods, customs and culture, architecture, a religious synopsis, weather, and the feel of the populace…

Then the book is over and the appendix is there! It’s perfect.  Pages on and drawings of animals, even their named skeletons, local fashions, drawings, more about the Gods and Goddesses, and just an incredible breakdown of the language that was created for the Makehu people.

Take this example of how the language and lingual barriers feed overall immersion – it integrates into the story and creates comic relief at times!

‘"kaia ‘ō kā teteie e māu kū.’ Do you know it?”

“‘Look out for … the emotional fish?’”

Kawu snorted. “Not quite."

I just love how much local culture and lore was included without being burdensome to the story.  I was going to share another quote about the tension/feel of the city but it contains a typo … The sentiment is there though. (Mostly the editing is extremely well done).

↪The only issue I had with the world is, as far as immersion ..  Lietzau probably wrote one of the most creative languages I’ve ever seen in a low fantasy, including such slang gems as “by the excretions of the sacred donkey.” Yet with nothing else modern about the world, he throws in modern slang.  I got used to it … (yes yes even though it’s a Bavarian cultural thing) … but it threw off an otherwise near perfect immersion.

The Characters: ah gosh this book was so perfectly tailored to people who are struggling through their 30s.  Jespar has PTSD, anxiety, and guilt, and the representation is just so real that reading his journey through it was a bit jarring at times.   Lysia is a physician that runs a slum clinic even though her debts are piling up, and Kawu is an innocent, selfless little thing that had way too much trauma thrown at him at once.  Neither of them were particularly good people but they seemed real and I think anyone with struggling mental health will be able to relate to someone in the novel.

The point of view is mostly Jespar’s, but there is another that is referred to as “The Man”.  This POV brings out a whole spectrum of one’s own personal hell, confronting past demons, and learning a thing or two about what exactly it means to be a monster.

Between the monster, the swamp, and the court of corpses, some of the analogies are spot on.

The Content: this seems like a good time to mention that September is suicide awareness month: I don’t need to give you guys the lecture but PLEASE reach out to a professional if you ever feel like you’ re losing the will to keep going. https://www.nami.org/get-involved/awa...

Alright the book is heavy content wise: briefly there is anxiety, crippling guilt, parental death, fairly graphic suicide description involving a knife, a drowning attempt, a not too scary corpse, other corpses, kind of descriptive (maybe R rated) m/f and m/m intercourse, smoking and alcohol use, and some really cute fluffy animals.

↪"Tae ite nū’iwilo, tae hūnā ‘o. ‘You won’t find out if you give up.’ Because that is what it comes down to with melancholia and despair: just as other people lie when they tell you things always get better, your mind lies when it tells you that it doesn’t. The only way to know is to stay and find out … as hard as it might be.”

That quote hit me HARD, and it felt like something extremely personal that the author left in the text. When he recapped it in the afterword and talked about his own mental health struggles; I am just glad to see people speaking openly of this.  My mental health is total trash as a critical care nurse right now and I’ll openly admit that I had to clam up on this review for a bit.

The Magic: alright let’s perk this back up.  The magic system ranges from dream-walking to necromancy, healing, mind control, and seems to work as a mental and physical drain.  There are quite a few abilities and it’s pretty interesting overall.  Y’all know me, throw in necromancy and I’m there. There’s a lot of cause and effect related to the magic, and a professorial lecture in the appendix if you are still curious!

Closing thoughts : it’s a long book but nothing is extra, and the plot keeps moving forward without much drag at all. I do strongly encourage everyone with an even casual interest in fantasy to check this one out.  It won’t be for everyone with some of the strong themes but I definitely think it’s worth consideration!

To break the book down into a one sentence synopsis:

"A comatose magnate, insurgent terrorists, furious commoners."

With a side theme of mental health.

Again thank you so much to the author for my review copy, all opinions are my own 🖤

[Lena (Sufficiently Advanced Lena) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Actual rating: 4.75 (honestly with time could be a full 5 star book)

TW: body horror, suicide, rape.

The mind is a malleable thing. Soil, if you're feeling poetic. Depending on the seed, anything will grow in it, from graceful to idyllic meadows, from weedy forests to foggy swamps.

Let me start by saying since the moment I heard about this book (thank you, Petrick!), I knew I was going to like it, so we can assume my expectations were astronomical and still, were met. Before we talk about the content I would like to highlight the EXTREME quality of the hardcover edition, it has nothing to envy traditionally published books.

I just finished this book at 4 a.m. so probably my thoughts are a little bit all over the place. There was so much more to what I thought was only a dark fantasy novel. The discussion on morality, free will, classism, etc. and all from a highly thoughtful sight. Also, this is a story filled with twists so get ready.

I loved every single element of this book, even though I haven't played the Enderal mod for Skyrim, I fell in love with this world almost since page one. The magic , dimensionism , was such a fascinating concept and I only wanted to know more and more and more with every single mention in the text. The dream world was definitely one of my favorite parts, what can I say? I'm a psychologist who loves books that explore the human mind!

I also adored the use of traveling to discuss Kilay's politics, such a good touch.

And what can I say about the characters? Well I would probably follow our trio till the end of the world but every decision here felt motivated and with resoning behind it, didn't matter if that decision came from a main character or a secondary one. Honestly A+ for character development.

My only complain (if we can even call it that) is that I would have loved to spend a little bit more time exploring the different psyches on the dream world.

This is probably going to be my favorite debut novel of this year!

The Dream is a lie

And thank you so much Nicolas, for going thru all the trouble so I could get my hands on a beautiful copy of this gem of a book!

**Full review will be up on the channel by next week because I can't shut up about this book right now**

[Oliver · Rating 5 out of 5]

“You won’t find out if you give up.”

It is rare for me to find a book I can connect to on such a personal level, but Dreams of the Dying definitely managed to do that.

We follow Jespar Dal'Varek - an ex-mercenary who arrives at the isle nation of Kilay following a mysterious invitation for a job. The leader of the isles has fallen into a preternatural coma and it is up to Jespar to figure out the cause before tensions between the local community erupt into a full blown civil war. The following investigation takes him from the far reaches of the archipelago to nightmarish dream realms and there are plenty of conflicts to be had along the way.

The mind is a malleable thing. Soil, if you’re feeling poetic. Depending on the seed, anything will grow in it, from graceful gardens to idyllic meadows, from weedy forests to foggy swamps. Harmonious or chaotic, peaceful or perilous, healthy or ill—it’s all a matter of seeds.

I knew I was going to enjoy this novel relatively early in the story. There was something about the worldbuilding and Kilay in general that hit the mark for me. The island setting pulled me in and I appreciated the locale a lot. The world has a wealthy amount of lore with plenty of gods, religions and magic to toss around and it is clear the author has been building the world for quite some time now. I knew going in that it is marketed as a mixture of fantasy, mystery and psych0logical horror but I wasn't ready for how well it all worked together. The horror elements in particular were really interesting to me and amounted to some well written moments. I enjoyed the plot as well. It is relatively well put together although definitely not the most important aspect of this novel.

That would be the protagonist Jespar and his struggles with mental health and depression, PTSD. It feels authentic and I can tell this comes from a personal place. There's this insurmountable weight bearing down on the main character and it definitely shows how difficult something like this is to deal with. There are moments where Jespar is lying to himself about his mental state, moments where he lashes out at everyone around him, moments where he genuinely believes he is fine only to fall deeper than he ever has before. It is sometimes difficult to read and it can feel like he is being irrational at times but it is all realistic. There is no snap of the fingers that can help a person get better and I feel like Dreams of the Dying illustrated that journey incredibly well.

That journey ended up being the one I connected the most with and I deeply appreciated how the author made it an important part of the narrative. This becomes especially apparent with the final section of the book that brings this struggle to the forefront. Namely the main plot gets somewhat tied up around the 80% mark and we are left with a lengthy section of falling action where we finally have time to process all our emotions and deal with what happened in a manner that just wasn't possible before. It is where the full impact of the events truly start to get to resonate and resulted in the most harrowing moments in the entire novel. It is an emotional rollercoaster and just hit me incredibly hard on a very personal level. Something like this isn't for everyone, but I feel like it is incredibly important to the core of this novel.

[Sade · Rating 3 out of 5]

🖤
Apparently, the dark places of your mind are filled with social commentary. Loads and loads of social commentary. Who knew, right?

Anyways, I finally did it. I Jumped on the hype train aaaaannnnnd *deep sigh* i feel like i'm almost always riding against the current when it comes to popular books.

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A lot of the reviews for this book praise the social commentary. Personally, while it definitely gives a plethora of amazing quotes, at some point it just began to feel like meaninless rhetoric that people spout because well, that's what you're supposed to say🤷🏾‍♀️. The characters really began to feel like they were just parroting all these, albeit cool points on how really fucked up capitalism and the American Dream sorry Great Dream is without any heart to it.
Was everything connecting with me at first? Sure.. But with 700+ pages, it kinda gets old when you halt the story just to go on some long sociology lesson on Class systems. It felt trite and honestly this book would have fared a lot better if it were shorter but hey you have to get the message across somehow. Bet Karl Marx would get an orgasm from this book though.

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Now, the story itself though, was chef kiss. The intrigue was solid. The build up to the reveal stunning. If anything, this was what made me keep going with this book. I definitely think Lietzau was smart to keep readers dangling for so long because honest to God if that had gotten resolved earlier, i would have given this book the middle finger and dumped it fast.

I have to say i immensely disliked the speech pattern the author decided to go with for this book but i seem to be in the minority with this opinion here i guess.

Finally, this book touches on depression. and *deep sigh* guys i'm not going to lie, I really for real thought, there was some sort of puzzle he had to solve to get rid of it.
At least in the context of this book. I suppose the book succeeds in showing how totally overwhelming depression is. To be honest, i didn't really make this connection until the end + I kinda got tired of the whole thing.. I'm sorry.
It kind of, might, maybe, seem like i didn't care about this very important theme but honestly in the context of this book it just got unbelievably tiring at some point.
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Told between bouts of melachonia and lessons on the evils of rich people and society in general, Dreams of the Dying is certainly an ambitious book. I cannot in all honesty say i hated it because the story does shine through in some parts.
Social commentary been used to death aside, i have to say, i equal parts like and dislike this book. Really have no strong feelings for it tbh. Probably going to dress up the quotes all cute with Canva app cos hey that's what they're there for right?

p.s: The last couple of chapters felt needlessly dragged on. I wonder if that is some sort of light on how mundane life is. Oh well.

[Catie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh my goodness this was so good! Super interesting world, fleshed out characters, fascinating magic system; this book has just about everything a fantasy lover would want.

The production value of this self published book is also phenomenal. You can tell how much work the author put into this book and he should be very proud.

My only negative about this book is I felt the romance was a bit rushed but other than that 5/5 would recommend.

[Library of a Viking · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Once the mind commits to a story, the facts become secondary. Truth bows to bias.”

I was incredibly excited when I was invited to participate in the Dreams of the Dying book tour organised by Storytellers on Tour! This book has been on my tbr since Petrik Leo posted a glowing 5-star review for this book back in February 2021. So what did I think?

Firstly, I was fortunate enough to get the hardcover sent to me by Nicolas Lietzau (thank you so much!), it is such a beautiful book! Firstly, the hardcover has 70 pages of additional material (yes, 70!), and the cover art is beautiful! This book also has the cover art on the naked hardback, which I love! The production value is next-level! If you are going to buy this book, then it is worth considering spending the extra money for the hardback!

Dreams of the Dying is the first book in the Enderal trilogy by Nicolas Lietzau and follows the ex-mercenary, Jespar Dal’Varek. Jespar decides to accept a mysterious invitation to Kilay, an archipelago on the brink of civil war. The only one that can prevent catastrophe is the King, Jaanos Oonai. However, Oonai has fallen into an unexplained coma and is slowly dying. Jespar is given the task to figure out how to wake up Oonai. This mission puts Jespar on a journey where he has to constantly fight for his sanity, his life and the fate of Kilay, as the line between reality and dreams is starting to blur.

I can finally understand why this book is receiving so much praise. Firstly, Lietzau characterisation is fantastic! All the characters are compelling and complex. This story is very character-driven, the reader gets to follow Lietzau as he is constantly fighting his inner demons while also having to try and build up relationships and complete his mission. Dreams of the Dying analyses themes such as depression and trauma in a very realistic way, which makes this book stand out! Moreover, Lietzau constantly provides interesting commentary on wealth, power, poverty and frequently explores philosophical ideas such as free will and determinism.

The world-building is phenomenal, and this world is rich with history, different cultures and locations. Moreover, Lietzau has created a fascinating magic system where the dream world plays a key role. I love how ‘dreams’ have a central role in this book. Lietzau has some interesting and thought-provoking takes on the dreamworld, which I loved learning more about!

If you have read my review this far, you can clearly see that I enjoyed this book! However, I acknowledge that this book is not for everyone. Firstly, I would classify Dreams of the Dying as a character-driven slow-burn story. This book is more than 700 pages and has several chapters filled with long dialogues or exploration of different aspects of this world. I definitely think that Lietzau made the right decision with the pace. If you are going to write a story where mental health is a central theme, you need to take your time with it, which Lietzau does. However, this book might be too long for some readers, so keep that in mind before picking up this book.

Minor spoiler
Moreover, this book has a trope that I HATE. This book has a love triangle. However, this is probably the best use of a love triangle that I have ever seen! Due to spoilers, I will not get much more into why this love triangle works well. If you hate love triangles, then I would still encourage you to pick up this book
End of Minor Spoiler

So yes, I loved this book. Lietzau truly impressed me with his world-building, characterisations and how he handles all the themes. Moreover, the hardcover is so ridiculously gorgeous! I can’t wait to read book 2 in The Enderal Trilogy!

4.5 / 5

A special thanks to Nicolas Lietzau and Storytellers on Tour for a physical copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Jordan (Forever Lost in Literature) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was really fantastic! The praise I've seen for this book is well-deserved.

Find this review at Forever Lost in Literature!

A few months ago I noticed Petriko Leo of Novel Notions raving about a self-published book called Dreams of the Dying, and when Petrik absolutely raves about a book, I know it's something I need to pick up. And to no one's surprise, this book was incredible. I also splurged and picked up the hardcover, which includes an extensive array of bonus content in the back, including creature artwork, appendices, history/background of the world from the novel, etc.–well worth the extra money!

Dreams of the Dying follows Jespar Dal'Varek, an ex-mercenary who has been drifting ever since leaving the war after a traumatic incident. He is eventually summoned to Kilay where he meets his future employer, new working partner, and embarks upon a mission that will change the course of his life and pretty much most of what he knows. The blurb describes this as a mix of "fantasy, mystery, and psychological horror," and I think that sums it up in the best way possible for what to expect from this book. It's an incredible adventure novel filled with fascinating characters and exciting encounters, but it also gets pretty dark and explores some of the darker aspects of human nature via some psychological themes and elements.

There are many strengths in this book, from the worldbuilding to the characters, so let's start with characters since this was very much a character-driven book. Jesper, our protagonist, was a compelling, complex, and well-developed character whose many internal conflicts and dialogues felt authentic and relatable. This is man who struggles with his own mind because of his past actions and experiences, as well as his present state of life. He's very much a grey character in how he makes his decisions and chooses to approach various obstacles that he comes across, and this is what helps to make him so compelling.

In addition to Jesper are some incredible supporting characters like Lysia, Kawu, Agaam, and an additional POV character that is interspersed occasionally throughout. I really fell in love with all of these characters, all for different reasons, and it was largely because they all seemed like real people with real problems, real flaws, and real conflicts that they had to constantly come to terms with and figure out how to work through. There are also some "villains" in this book, but they are all so varied and have such a layered amount of depth to them that it's impossible to view them as any sort of classic villain; instead, they are fully-developed characters with motivations, backstories, and goals that we as the readers are able to explore and which adds so much nuance to the story. In this same vein, I also appreciated that so many of the main characters that we follow are allowed to have their own diverging opinions that they actually feel strongly about, opinions that they let lead their actions in a very loyal and respectable way, whether they are opinions other characters (or readers) agree with. This also, of course, opens the door for a vast amount of conflict within the group, from minor issues to large ones, and I liked how Lietzau incorporated all of these things into one cohesive narrative.

The world-building was also vibrant and executed with a great level of finesse. Dreams of the Dying is actually set in the same world as the Enderal mod for the game Skyrim–a game which I haven't (yet) played and which was not at all necessary to know anything about before reading this book. This world is vast and teeming with life, culture, and all sorts of creatures, a few of which can be found in the extra sections in more detail in the hardcover edition. I loved that we got to travel around to different areas of this world in the first book, and I really hope we get to explore even more in the second book. The magic system is also fascinating and took me a while to understand (and I'm honestly still not sure if I quite understand everything), but it was exciting to read about nonetheless. Wielders of power are known as dimensionists who are able to produce shifts that vary according to a particular dimensionist's skills and abilities. Doing so also creates drains that physically affect a dimensionist, a trade-off that I always like to see with any sort of magic system.

As someone who faces many of their own mental demons and often considers their mind the enemy sometimes, this whole idea of not knowing where to turn when your mind is against you or untrustworthy resonated with me immensely. There's also a persistent undercurrent of exploring dreams vs. reality that added some great depth to the overarching plotline of the book. There are so many other themes and topics explored in this book, from discussions of power, forms of classism, forgiveness, mental illness, trauma, and so on. There are also some really great philosophical discussions that occurr between the characters throughout the book that I found fascinating and that really encompassed so many of the moral problems that we are faced in society, whether it's a fantasy society or our own society. This book really allows readers to explore ideas and concepts in this book in a way that I found both engaging in relation to the story, and incredibly thought-provoking in regards to my own thoughts and ideas.

The writing and pacing of this book was practically perfect. This was one of those experiences where the book is big (800+ page) and you think it's going to take a while to get through, but somehow you find yourself absolutely flying through it without even realizing it, and before you know it you've reached the end. That, for me, is what I call good writing and how I know that I really enjoyed a book and was able to immerse myself in it. Lietzau's prose is compulsive and highly engaging–if you're intimidated by the page count, just know that once you get into the story, it moves quickly!

Overall, I've given Dreams of the Dying five stars! I cannot wait to read the next installment in this series.

[Yehuda · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was very excited to read this book based on the many positive reviews here at Goodreads but was very disappointed. Somewhere in this, there may be a good plot but it needs a lot of work and polishing to get to it.

You know how when you read a good book, you get lost in the story? It feels like you've been transported to a different world? Well, this book doesn't do that at all. They say, show don't tell, but this book very much told and didn't show. I felt like I was reading a 750 page summary of a book, instead of being engrossed in a story.

I couldn't care less about the characters, mostly because they had no compelling reason or goal for anything they did. The main character, whose name I already forgot because that's how much I gave a shit about him, had literally no reason for coming on the "mission" in the book. He just does stuff and it's never explained. Also, it keeps hinting and referencing his mysterious past and it was annoying that you only get the bare basics of his past at the end of the book. Maybe if I knew before then I would have cared more.

Also, the romance/sex in this book is horrendous. Good romance needs build up. There needs to be tension that finally leads to something. Here, it's just like he meets a pretty girl and "oh hi, wanna fuck? Okay" and then he meets a pretty boy and is like "let's kiss". There is nothing that leads up to any of the romance.

Then there's the plot. It's incredibly convoluted and long when at its core there isn't really that much. Waaayyyy too long-winded. It takes two hundred pages to do something I could have written in three sentences.

Oh, and then there's the politics. The characters have long conversations about capitalism and whether rich people are evil but it's like you're reading a dumb facebook argument. No depth whatsoever. And the philosophy. "It's not about whether you're punished, it's about whether you change your actions." Woooowww. Mind boggling.

Honestly, this book was boring, hard to read and so convoluted. Perhaps it can be saved with a shit ton of editing but for now I'd say to steer clear of this self-published manuscript draft.

[Markus · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was utterly fantastic for what is essentially an indie tie-in novel. I was left absolutely aghast by the opening statement of breaking setting continuity, but enraptured by the end of it all.

For context, Enderal is the best video game mod of all time, comparable in quality to its 'mother' game Skyrim, presented a story that was somehow basically "Mass Effect as it should have been", and included one of the most hauntingly brilliant characters in the history of fantasy gaming. Seriously, if you've ever enjoyed Skyrim (and what kind of twisted mind wouldn't?), go play Enderal before the cleansing apocalypse hits us all and you enter oblivion having missed out on a masterpiece.

For the book itself, full review to come.

[Jake Bishop · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this was really good.

Definitely for me, the highlight of this book was Jesper, the protagonist. I thought his entire arc of figuring who he was, and confronting his past, and future was incredibly well done. This was helped by a really well done, pretty long falling action. It is at this point kind of a buzzword to say a book explored the topic of depression, and mental illness. And as always I say that to do it well you have to have a complex, and well fleshed out dynamic character, and I believe Liezau accomplishes this extremely well. The obvious comparison is of course Kaladin from Stormlight, who is one of my favorite protagonists in one of my favorite series. And while overall I vastly prefer Stormlight, and Kaladin, I actually think that the depression aspect of Jesper's character, and the overall exploration of depression was even better in this book than it is in Stormlight. So, if that isn't something you are interested in, you can stay away, because it is a large part of this novel, but I think it is done very well, very honestly, and very impactfully.

This book also had a secondary protagonist, who at first is just referred to as "The Man", which at first I found less compelling than the Jespar PoVs, but as the book went on I thought those sections had some fantastic chapters.

The other main topic of this book was inequality, and they live in a country where a main aspect of their culture is a clear analogue of The American Dream. There were some interesting conversations her, but overall I found the thematic exploration here to be far more repetitive than the focus on Jespar's internal struggles, and exploration of trauma.

I would also say as a minor con, that while I think Jespar is a great protagonist, and there are 2-4 other really interesting characters, after that it dropped off fast for me, and I found some of the side characters to kinda just be there.

As a final pro, having dreams be a key element of a book, and having it be good is hard, and this manages to make them gripping and compelling, while also staying connected to the main plot, and exploration of the main character.


Also, I have seen people shit on this for typos, and obviously I could have missed some, but I literally don't think I noticed a typo in this entire book. I can almost guarantee this has a normal amount of typos for a published fantasy novel.

Also, I thought the prose was fine. Descriptively it did a good job of describing with multiple senses, I didn't find myself noticing how beautiful the writing was, but it also didn't take me out of the story.

Overall, a compelling story, with a great protagonist, is boosted by a wonderful falling action, with many bitersweet resolutions that manage to be impactful without being overly grim.

8.1/10

[Sadrith Mora · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm terrible at reviews, I suck at giving praise and I'm even worse at not dropping books all the time.

Yet here I am at 3AM, having blazed through this book in a day and a half, telling whoever needs to hear that I want nothing more than to forget it all just so I can read it AGAIN. Yes, it's that good.

[Hamad · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I picked up the book to read it, I realized that I don't know anything about it. I bought this just because Petrik said it was a masterpiece and the rest was history. I really wanted to get a hardcover but ever since BD closed, I am trying to find alternatives and so I settles for a paperback copy of this, and I am still impressed by the quality of production.

The story follows ex-mercenary Jespar Dal'Varek when he accepts a mission to investigate the king's mysterious coma. The title of the story comes from here as the king is dying and they need to save him before it is too late. This book was weird -in a good way though- mixing fantasy elements with psychological horror and there was even romance thrown in this mix.

The story is based on the Enderal world which is a video game that I did not play but, in my copy, the author mentions that he had to change some of the names and stuff including the name of the series which changed to "The Twelfth World" and I guess there is some drama there. My point here is that whether you are familiar with the world or not, it doesn't really matter, as the story can be perfectly understood without any previous knowledge. Furthermore, the story is very character driven despite the interesting plot twists. Jespar is a very interesting character along with his companions. The representation of mental illness here specially depression is some of the best I read in a fantasy book, and I think it reflects something personal.

The world is interesting and there are different kinds of creatures and Gods and then there are the weird dreams which I enjoyed despite me not being a fan of horror. Most of the events of the book takes place in one week and the majority of the plotline happens there. The story then continues for roughly a period of a month losing some of the momentum given the premature conclusion of events.

Summary: Good production quality, great writing and characterization. Excellent mental illness representation with an okay pacing. This was a unique story that has something for fans of all genres!

[Bea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyed this.
Characters were superb.

[Matt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Disclaimer: I was a beta reader so I didn't read the finished version yet, but will adjust my review accordingly once I've read the end result. Also, I haven't played Enderal. (But you don't need to play it to read the book since it's a prequel.)

Heck, I don't even know where to start--I'm gonna do my Liked/Didn't Like approach for this one.

Things I Liked

* LGBT+ main characters! This is still always a plus for me.
* Oonai as a character and the way he was written. Apparently, he seems to be a very polarising character. I was one of those who liked him, because--man, I'm gonna out myself as a douchebag here--I could identify with him on a spiritual level. Also, I love a polarising character. This is also one of my main goals as a writer, to create characters which are just as likeable as they're hateable. And that's something Nico managed to do with flying colours.
* I also liked Agaam, Enkshi and Kawu, which is funny, because Kawu is literally the most pure and wholesome bean--which makes his later character development even better--whereas Enkshi and Oonai probably got a PhD in douchebaggery. And Agaam is just really smart and badass. (Think Uncle Iroh from ATLA. Everyone loves an Uncle Iroh kind of character.)
* The beginning. The exposition and getting to know the MC was one of the very strong aspects.
* This book is stock-full of symbolism. Detecting symbolism is not my strong suit, I'm a very, very inattentive reader when it comes to that, but I got things explained to me and, man, this shit is good!
* Something which doesn't matter as much to me, but the setting is Polynesian-inspired, so we're far off the Typical European Medieval High-Fantasy™ setting. We also see everything through fresh and unknowing eyes, since the MC comes from a European Medieval High-Fantasy™ setting.
* It's not your go-to fantasy plot. I did have some problems with that also, but will say more about that further down.
* The ending. Damn, the ending was so good. This was where character development exploded! I also loved the overall conclusion of the story. Heard some people were not happy with it--in terms of how the arcs of certain characters ended--but you know, sex is good and all, but have you ever cared about some polarising characters? (Okay, okay, I'll stop.)

Things I Didn't Like

* Jespar as a character. Oh, boi, here we go. This is difficult, because he's the POV character. The thing is that it only didn't work, because he was written in a way that made it impossible for the reader to grasp him as a character. It kinda makes sense, but it didn't work. So, due to his personality, he wasn't very introspective and rather came across as a filter through which the narrator would tell the story. But we talked about this problem in-depth and I already saw the new arc outline--y'all are gonna be in for a treat!
* The romance. There was too little chemistry, and I didn't buy the strong feelings because there was no built-up. But we talked about this as well, so y'all gonna love this in the final version.
* Lastly, the not go-to fantasy plot, which is something I usually appreciate a lot. In this case, it was a mix of psychological horror, mystery, and high fantasy. I'm fine with horror, I'm very good with high fantasy -- my only problem was the analytical approach of the mystery mixed with the fact that I read very little adult high fantasy so far and have little knowledge about which topoi it uses. But objectively, it's a We Have To Go On This Quest To Detect This Crime kind of thing, all with political intrigue and all that stuff, so it's well-blended, it's just, as I said, not something I'm used to.

Bottom line, this was good with potential when I read it and I'm sure it's going to be great when it's done.

[The Grumpster · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Monsters exist, and you’re one of them.

The girl had been wrong. He isn’t just a monster; he is the father of monsters, the architect of the arena, the god of suffering. The thought he had in the temple had been right after all: there were a million marks on his soul, and they had festered into a cancerous growth. Tears trail down his cheeks. He lets them come, wishing they were acid.

Absolution?

The forgiveness the priest offered was more than he deserved. There is no clearing his name; there is no fixing this."

I’ve been sitting on this review for the past month now because I honestly don’t think that anything I say will do this masterpiece justice. Why is it so easy to tear into books that you despised but so difficult to praise the books that you loved? I went through so many emotions while reading Dreams of the Dying that I’m still experiencing whiplash to this day. The book hangover is strong with this one. Disclaimer: I have no clue at all what an Enderal is. I only managed to stumble across Dreams of the Dying because my eyes were immediately drawn to that cover (and I know we aren’t supposed to judge a book by its cover but HOT DAMN that cover) on Rob Hayes’ list of indie fantasy titles published each month. And holy hell am I glad that I decided to pick this one up because what we have here is something truly special. All the 5-star reviews for this book are not exaggerated – it absolutely deserves each and every one of them.

— THE DREAM IS A LIE —

Jespar Dal’Varek is a sellsword answering the call for a mysterious but lucrative new job offer in the island empire of Kilay where he is expected to investigate a strange coma that afflicts First Magnate Jaaros Oonai, one of the wealthiest and most powerful men in the Illumined world. To do so, he will need to find a way to infiltrate the secrets that are trapped within Jaaros’ dreams. Time is of the essence. Despite its prosperity, Kilay is an empire plagued by decades of heightening dissent and political upheaval. Tensions between the merchant lords and the common people have been escalating, strung to the breaking point by the First Magnate’s illness and threatening to snap at any moment plunging the empire into bloody civil war. Together with an ex-priestess and a psychic, Jespar finds himself swept up into the undoing of a country, as well as into its remaking.

"A comatose magnate, insurgent terrorists, furious commoners. Enkshi was right: This country was a wildfire waiting to happen."

Dreams of the Dying is the type of book that defies categorization. Like a couple of other reviewers have already mentioned, the closest thing I can compare it to is Christopher Nolan’s INCEPTION in a POLYNESIAN-INSPIRED FANTASY SETTING. But that description really only captures a meager fraction of this story's essence. On a personal note, this book just hit all of the right buttons for me:

✓ a society on the brink of revolution
✓ gripping political intrigue
✓ tragedy of poetic proportions
✓ grey and black morality
✓ a ragtag group of heroes tasked with a seemingly impossible mission
✓ diverse characters and setting
✓ a world rich with history and culture
✓ simply beautiful writing

There’s just so much thought and care poured into crafting every detail of the world and story of Dreams of the Dying and it absolutely shows. The mystery of the First Magnate’s coma was gripping, culminating into a breathtaking finale. Kilay is brimming with color and life from the monumental ziggurats to the lush rainforests, from the dying islands polluted by the wastes of industrialization to the unique flora and fauna. The dreamworld also is ripe with symbolism and haunting imagery. If I were to sit here and describe everything I loved about the worldbuilding I might as well be typing out the whole book for you. Trust me when I say that it's incredible.

— A STUDY IN HOW TO WRITE CHARACTERS —

While the plot and worldbuilding were just fantastic, the characters were really the heart and soul of this novel. I don’t know how Nicolas Lietzau does it, but each of the characters in this book just felt so vivid and real. I never got the sense that they were just cardboard cutouts who acted according to the author’s whims to advance the plot. Rather, each character was as raw, complicated, and messy as real people. Take Nayima Oonai, Jaaros’ wife and Jespar’s secret employer. She is probably one of the kindest, gentlest, and most unproblematic souls in this book, but she also overlooks all of her husband’s evil deeds and doesn’t speak out against the atrocities that he has committed over the years. How could a woman who is so good and kind love a man who is so evil? Gradually, we are given bits and pieces about her history that reveal to us why she is the way she is. Her loyalty and love for Jaaros after he rescued her from an abusive marriage, the stab wounds she suffered leaving her unable to bear children, the care she gives to her pets because of this…I was on the dangerous brink of shedding tears for this woman. And she is just a very MINOR character. From the members of Jaaros’ inner circle to Lysia’s assistant to Jespar’s sister, all these side characters were so naturally and thoughtfully fleshed out (without somehow taking up pages and pages of infodump) that when something happened to each of them I actually cared. I’ll say it again, Nicolas Lietzau’s character work is just STUNNING.

I could probably spend an entire review just talking about the main characters but I’ll spare you all that so you can discover them for yourselves. Jaaros Oonai is one of the most complex, compelling, and conflicting “villains” I’ve read about in a long time. When that final reveal about him was dropped…I had to put the book down because of how SHOOK I was. But rest assured that the plot twists were not pulled out of anyone’s asses. It was shocking but so carefully planned. Looking back, the signs were really all there from the beginning. And last but certainly not least – Jespar, Lysia, and Kawu. They are in no way the ideal fantasy heroes but their flaws, struggles, and dreams make them so relatable and likeable. How each of them is forced to grow and change in the end as a result of this journey is just heartbreaking. I will definitely miss these characters – Lysia, the doctor with her endearing idealism. Kawu, the young Makehu dreamwalker with his boundless selflessness. And most of all Jespar, our leading man. His character is at once familiar and strange. On the surface he’s the charming laidback roguish mercenary type with a penchant for wine and women (or also men in this case). Underneath it all though, he grapples with a lot of complex emotional issues that I won’t delve too deeply into. No spoilers, but Jespar isn’t a “chosen one” because of any special powers or birthright but because of his personal struggles and his unique set of human experiences. I think that's both so refreshing and pretty damn inspiring.

— THEMES —

"Help her. Say something.
'You wanna know a secret?'
Her sobs fade and her eyes meet his. Slowly they move, fragile little windows turning on rusted hinges.
'It’ll get better. It always does.'
He sticks out his pinkie.
'I promise.'"

I have to applaud the author for how he handles mental illness. Like the rest of this book, this topic was treated with so much honesty and care while never being trivialized or romanticized. Jespar struggles with some pretty crippling depression along with a host of other problems. How he just takes each moment day by day, his spiral of destructive thoughts and self-blame, his feelings of worthlessness, the frustrations, challenges and that sense of “helplessness even though you want to help so badly” felt by friends/lovers/relatives of people with depression…I’ve never seen mental illness explored or handled so well in a fantasy book. I’m convinced that Nicolas Lietzau has either direct personal experience or is very close to people who deal with depression, trauma, and mental illness because he captures so many aspects of it so well. Let’s just say that certain scenes in this book hit me hard. Really hard.

"If you fight injustice with injustice, no matter how deserved it may feel, you’ll always end up as just another turn of the wheel."

Dreams of the Dying was also a lot more thought provoking and philosophical than I had anticipated, without ever being cheesy or overwrought about any of it. I feel like sometimes fantasy books just dip their toes into these topics but whenever it gets too deep they back off. Nicolas Lietzau is not afraid to tackle some pretty difficult things like depression, suicide, classism, and the nature of evil that are brought up in his story. It’s impressive how he skillfully weaves in these discussions as well. Rather than serving as a mouthpiece for the author to preach his views at the reader (which is what I often see), the various philosophical conversations served to shed so much light on the characters themselves and their worldviews. Jespar and Lysia’s verbal battles especially were so compelling, and I didn’t get the sense that the author was patronizing anyone’s stances either which I appreciated. Rather, Nicolas Lietzau lets the reader decide for themselves what they want to believe about human nature – whether Jespar or Lysia has a better grasp on the messiness of humanity – based on the events of the story, and it’s all just so DAMN BRILLIANT.

Literally the only flaw I could find in Dreams of the Dying was the romance (although I always tend to be a bit pickier with romance so take that as you will). I wouldn’t describe what develops between the characters as a love triangle per say and I can see where the author was trying to go with this but the progression of the relationships didn’t feel as natural as it could’ve been in the end to me. I especially think Jespar and Lysia’s relationship should have remained platonic given her traumatic past romantic fallout. It just didn’t make much sense to me why she would throw herself into another potentially romantic entanglement so easily. Kawu’s relationship with Jespar was a bit more understandable given his loneliness and lack of experience with the world, but I wish that it was all given more time to develop. But please don’t let this detract you from picking up this book because honestly it’s such a small part of it that it in no way overshadows even a miniscule fraction of how fantastic the rest of the story is.

— PLEASE JUST READ THIS MASTERPIECE —

Dreams of the Dying is at once a VERY DARK but also INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL, HOPEFUL, INTELLIGENT, AND HIGHLY AMBITIOUS debut novel that pushes the limits of what fantasy can be and serves as a testament to everything that I love about this genre. It’s damn near criminal that Nicolas Lietzau isn’t being talked about as one of the rising stars of sff. If he does achieve anywhere near the level of this book’s brilliance for the rest of his series though, I have no doubt that he will one day get the recognition that he deserves and am so looking forward to all of his future works. Until then, I will be in my corner of the world annoyingly blabbering about this book and not so subtly sneaking paperbacks into the hands of everyone I know.

"Tae ite nū’iwilo, tae hūnā ‘o. ‘You won’t find out if you give up.’"

♬ Book song ♬ – Dreams of the Dying (seriously, how cool is it that this novel has its own theme song???)

[Crookedhouseofbooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm seeing a lot of 5 star reviews and they ain't lying. This book was absolutely amazing.

I'll admit, the +700 pages had me shaking in my boots but I'm happy to say that I finished this beast in about 3 days...all thanks to a mesmerizing storyline.

The storyline kinda reminded me of that Leo Dicaprio movie "Inception". The reader is introduced to a world where things like necromancy and dream walking are possible, but only for a talented few.

The main character, Jespar, is not one of the talented ones but through strange circumstances he is propelled into a dire situation in which he and others are forced to seek out a dream walker and enter a man's nightmares in order to save an entire city from self-destruction.

The world building and character development are completely off the charts and border on being compared to Tolkein's Lord Of The Rings.

There are maps, a glossary of terms, charts for pronunciation, diagrams of flora and fauna, depictions of dress and style, and portraits of the main characters in an appendix section at the back of the book. I absolutely loved every inch of this book.

The characters were complex and very individualized, and best of all, beautifully flawed, making them likable and relatable. Another aspect that thoroughly impressed me was the plot twists and the reasonings behind every action and inaction. Nothing was left unexplained and every piece of the puzzle snapped into place flawlessly.

I also feel the need to mention that aside from the world building, there was this second world that was created... that of dreams and nightmares, and it was both intoxicating and highly disturbing.

I received a copy in exchange for an honest review.

Masterful story-telling.

World building with worlds inside of worlds.

It's a must read and should be considered a classic in the making.

[Nathan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had accepted long before reaching the halfway point of Dreams of the Dying that explaining why I love it so much would be difficult. My appreciation for this story was largely shaped by my own life experiences. I am sure I could have picked this up 4 years ago, or 4 years in the future, and it still would have struck a chord with me.

I have often seen authors say that as a writer, you should write what you know. Your unique experiences, interests, and knowledge will be what sets your creation apart from others. I think this works both ways. As a reader, my experiences can vastly enhance my reception of a story. I have read scenes in books that have devastated others but did not leave as strong of an impact on me. This is true of the reverse too, and I imagine Dreams of the Dying is one such case. This is a novel clearly made from the heart. The author has experienced much of the issues present in the story, and it shows. It really shows.

What really makes this novel special for me is the intersection of different psychological issues. On their own, stories of an individual’s corruption fascinate me. And I, like most people, am guilty of behavior I am not proud of. I can also relate to the struggles that come with depression, trauma, and poverty. But these struggles cannot be looked at in isolation, for they have sprouted from a tangled mess of sources. If I may quote the opening passage of the book, what I am getting at is expressed succinctly through Lietzau’s beautiful prose.

“The mind is a malleable thing. Soil, if you’re feeling poetic. Depending on the seed, anything will grow in it, from graceful gardens to idyllic meadows, from weedy forests to foggy swamps. Harmonious or chaotic, peaceful or perilous, healthy or ill—it’s all a matter of seeds.”

It’s all a matter of seeds. Our experiences make us.

This novel looks at the anger and the despair that grows from the seeds of things like poverty and trauma. It creates sympathy in the reader for the characters involved. Even so, the novel shows how the completely justified feelings of bitterness and anguish from those experiences can swell, and become something extremely dangerous. Not only to one’s self, but to others. It changes people. In theory, one who has faced much suffering should be more inclined to empathy. Someone who knows what it feels like first hand should not want to inflict that pain on others. And yet, that great amount of suffering may make them more susceptible to breaking and lashing out. Victims can be consumed by the very things that hurt them before, and come out worse for it, breeding even more broken minds and foggy swamps.

“If there’s anything that forty years in the Coalition’s service taught me, it’s that there’s a price for dreaming big. That race, the ‘arena’ ... it always takes something from you, be it your integrity, your soul, or even your life.”

As I said before, the novel extensively explores the damage done to one’s self when responding to trauma in addition to the harm inflicted on others. When you try to fight back, you usually lose something in the process. The quote above and its context within the story made me think of a concept I had encountered in the past known as the “John Henryism effect”. The top definition from Wikipedia defines it as “a strategy for coping with prolonged exposure to stresses such as social discrimination by expending high levels of effort which results in accumulating physiological costs”. It is really interesting, although saddening stuff, and I would recommend looking into it if you can. The point is, my familiarity with this concept and what it entails, (even before being aware there was a term for it) was a major point of resonation for me with the novel.

“The dream is a lie.”

The novel further explores how the chasing of this dream in itself may not be a worthwhile endeavor, because it is exactly that for most. A dream. The “dream” in the novel clearly represents the pursuit of succeeding and surmounting the odds placed against those in a system that shackles people before birth. It can easily be compared to The American Dream, which basically amounts to the belief that anyone can be what they want to be if they put in the time and effort. It is a false narrative that is unfortunately shoved into so many people's faces from a young age, which can be seen in the novel itself.

But I also think that the “dream” can be representative of the goal towards a positive, or at least better mental state. The theme of free will comes up often, although not simply in terms of performing the physical actions you want, but in terms of having control over your own mind. The ability to focus when you need to, and put certain thoughts to the side or dredge others up. But if people truly had control of their mind, why do so many suffer from mental issues? You can try to brute force your way out all you want, and sometimes you can push back against it successfully, but often this is only temporary. You can win some battles, but truly, it is a long road that feels like it will never end. And to quote the book itself, “if your own mind was the enemy, where could you run?” Well, I implore you to read it for yourself and see what Lietzau thinks.

One of my favorite aspects of the reading experience here was being unsure of the author's main message and theme for the bulk of the novel, as the characters have conflicting views and ideas, which meant no particular schools of thought seemed to reign supreme. I felt that there were arguments in the text for opposing conclusions, until it ultimately became clear to me what the author wanted to say. I really loved this feeling and in the end it made the final act and the most important statement from the author so much more impactful. Although for me, this was primarily in regard to one very specific message. Others were not so simple and will continue to make me think.

I mostly read to be entertained and to find points of resonation, with the smaller hope that I will also be challenged so I can think deeply about what I am confronted with. So I can grapple with my beliefs and maybe learn something I will carry with me into the future. My favorite reads are the ones that manage to be all of these things. Dreams of the Dying may be one of the best examples of such. The bulk of this novel sets up points of connection for me that can be familiar, uncomfortable, and even anger inducing. There are heavy topics here which cross my mind often. Even so, the book managed to make me hesitate a few times when I thought I had a clear opinion or stance on a topic. Even when you have lived it, your experience is not representative of everything. There is always more to learn.

I barely mentioned the story itself here, but I am sure you can find other reviews that will do so far more eloquently than I possibly could have. My goal here was to share why this was so special to me personally. Just know that I had virtually no complaints with the story, and there is much to enjoy outside of its thematic depth. This is a psychological story, a horror infused fantasy, and occurs in a uniquely inspired setting. It is brimming with creativity and there is much to love here, so please consider reading it. Thank you Nicolas Lietzau for this masterpiece.

[Jayadev · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh Yes! This was brilliant!!!

Will write a full review sometime in the future
(Just got out of a rather long reading slump and I fear I'll go back to the slump if I stop to write a full review)

[Dustin · Rating 5 out of 5]

5⭐️

Phenomenal. Mesmerizing. Easiest 5stars I’ve given out in awhile.
I’m admittedly not much of a gamer so I wasn’t familiar with Enderal, which I understand is a mod based on the game Skyrim. I’m just so freaking impressed with the book Nicolas Lietzau has written and I feel like my love of self-published stories has been reaffirmed and confirmed!

It starts with Jesper Dal’Varek, a drifting sell sword, receiving a mysterious summons by a wealthy patron to the Kilayan Archipelago, a series of tropical islands. Dal’Varek has more baggage than a 747 but this job may be the end for him.

This is a beautifully written book with stellar prose that also includes a number of intense and bloody battles. It’s also got a dreamlike quality at times, which is very apt.

However, it’s the way the author handles themes like mental health, class warfare, religion, guilt, and forgiveness of ones self that really resonated with me. I loved the way I learned about the characters through their conversations and I loved the fact Lietzau let the characters talk like Real People, not Fantasy People. So damn refreshing.
I could go on and on about the fantastic world building and the interesting Magic and several heart wrenching scenes.

In my opinion, anyone who enjoys a well written adult fantasy should definitely give this one a try.

[Talkaar · Rating 5 out of 5]

TL;DR : masterpiece, this book moved me in so many way. Can't wait for book 2 !



Longer review, no spoil :

I discovered this amazing universe thanks to Petrick Leo. Forever grateful :)

This book is set in the universe of Enderal created by Nicolas Lietzau and SureIA. It is a mod for Skyrim and even if it is not required to play it to understand the book, I completly recommend it. At first I planned to play it fast since I'm not a big fan of Skyrim but then I got hooked. Go check it out :)

We go back in time before the game and we meet a younger Jasper, our favorite mercenary ! He's been called to investigate a mystery in the archipelago of Kilay and oh boy, what a mystery it is indeed. He'll be helped by a fantastic set of characters that are relatable, human and not flawless. You feel connected to them because you can easily understand their motivations.

I was really happy to go back to this universe. The lore is just awesome, well thought and built. The architecture, the Gods, the creatures, even the language, everything feels unique and original. The magic systems are really awesome and I know my magic (Sanderson fan here).

One of the feature that moved me the most is the importance of mental health. Jespar is strugling with heavy trauma (depression, anxiety, etc...) and being someone that deeply suffered from it, I could totally relate. It can be a bit violent but it is not done just for the sake of adding violence, it has purposes for the plot. Talking about the plot, expect a lot of clever plot twist !

First I read it in eBook but after reading it, I had to have it physicially. The hardcover edition is just gorgeous and the appendix are trully awesome, it trully feels premium quality. Look how good it looks !

Thanks again to Nicolas Lietzau and I can't wait for your next entry !

[Shaghayegh · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was gruesomely awesome. I’m speechless. Dreams of the dying is the best book i’ve read this year, by far.
Can’t wait for the second book 😩

[Blaise · Rating 5 out of 5]

https://undertheradarsffbooks.com/202...

Dreams of the Dying has been high on my TBR for the longest time but I never got around to cracking it open. With a cover that screams at you saying “you will want to discover all of my secrets”, I couldn’t help but give this debut novel a try. What I found is a Grimdark novel unlike anything I have ever read before. Any ex-mercenary and a healer embark on a mission to save the land of Kilay by traveling across the land and even into the mysteries of the Dream World. Enemies are around every corner but where will you turn when your mind itself is the true evil?

Jespar Dal’Varek is an ex-mercenary on the run from his past and finding pleasure wherever it may be. The slaughter of his family has left him with more questions than answers and he seeks to find those answers away from home. Jespar accepts a job in the land of Kilay and its for non other than the King himself. The problem is that the King is asleep in a coma not caused by natural means. The King is under a spell of a necromancy from a Dream Walker and it is Jespar’s job to uncover the mystery. The land is riddled with cut throats, thieves, and a growing plot of rebellion thanks to the political aspirations of the select few. The only way to fix this growing concern is for Jespar to enter the Dreams of the King and he will need the help of another Dream Walker if he can make it back in one piece. I will stop the synopsis here to not spoil anything for you curious readers.

The structure for Dreams of the Dying is unlike one I have read in a long time. The main plot with Jespar on his journey takes up a majority of the chapters but we do get some other ones as well. Some chapters we get to see into Jespar’s mind. He is in a swamp being surrounded by corpses telling him about the sins of his past. This will make more sense the further you read but these short chapters show how tortured and scarred Jespar is. Plus the inner struggle he has to cope with everyday. The other interlude chapters are titled The Man and it follows an alternative story live until it will eventually connect with the present day plot. I can’t speak of these interludes without spoiling everything but they will send shivers down your spine. Different types of magic exist in this world as well and it was great discovering them all. I wouldn’t say the writing style is very reader friendly but once you get use to it the chapters will fly. This book will bring forth the dark corners of your mind and make you question everything you have just read.

Although this is the first book in the series the story itself has a definite conclusion with room for more in future volumes. In some case, its the journey itself that is the real joy with this book and not everything will end the way you hope it would. This works for me as I love being surprised! I was in love with this book from beginning to end and I can’t wait to pick up the next book in the series.

Cheers!

[Anj✨ · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5/5🌟

Dreams of the Dying is a character-driven story that blends psychological horror, mystery, and high fantasy.

𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆𝒅
→ world-building - vividly imagined and detailed. It's set in tropical islands which is refreshing since most fantasy books are set in medieval Europe. Living in a tropical country, it wasn't hard to imagine, and the details established it more. The world is brimming with culture, religion, and lore. Also, A+++ for the language
→ magic system - straightforward with some fascinating elements and was explained well. There's dream walking, necromancy, healing, and mind control. The people who have these abilities are called dimensionalists and there's a physical/mental drain in exchange when using these powers.
→ characters - the main cast of characters is layered, flawed, and distinct. They have interesting backgrounds and the trauma they endured are well-written
→ social commentaries - this was the most pleasant surprise for me, I wasn't expecting the book to delve deep into this but it did which made me enjoy it more. There's capitalism, privilege, poverty, ambition, morality, political ideologies, how power corrupts an individual, revolution. It made reading it closer to reality.

𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆𝒅
→ some of the side characters aren't that well-fleshed out, not two-dimensional (see what I did there? 😂) per se but there's something lacking
→ the romance aspect felt like a YA insta-love trope that I hate coupled with the "I'm not worthy of her/him" dialogue

Overall, Dreams of the Dying is a must-read for all fantasy readers. It's a breath of fresh air and with its intricate world-building and magic system, paired with its skillful weaving of social commentaries throughout the narrative is a book to be savored. I think this is perfect as a fall read, just look at the cover. But then there's no fall here 🤷‍♀️, only rainy season and I still think it's perfect for the rainy season.

Big thanks to Nicolas Lietzau and Storytellers On Tour for my copy. All thoughts and opinions are mine.
_____
10/24/2021
After drifting off to dreamland more than a few times while reading this, I FINALLY FINISH IT 🥳🥳🥳 And it was so, so good! Review to come.

[Jake Howsam Lowe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dreams Of The Dying is a beautifully written exploration of mental illness, inequality, oppression, abuse and trauma. Not the lightest of themes but handled with a deft touch and a high level of care.

The book is a prequel to the award winning game Enderal but it doesn’t feel like an arbitrary story set in a game world like lots of game adaption stories do. The story is not dictated by game mechanics and the world feels deep, realistic and lived in.

This is most definitely an epic fantasy book but I was blown away by the horror elements incorporated in this. Everything I love about psychological and cosmic horror was on display when it needed to be.

The characters are flawed and believable, each experiencing and coping with their own trauma. I genuinely felt for these characters and was captivated watching them grow and develop throughout.

I’ve been rambling on already and I have even mentioned the incredible 100 pages of bonus content in the stunning self published hardcover. Trust me, it’s great.

If you like books that explore dark themes and how people learn to cope, this book is for you. If you like epic fantasy with interesting creatures, characters and settings, this book is for you. If you like Enderal, this book is DEFINITELY for you.

I can’t wait to read more in this world from this author.

[Charlotte Kersten]

So What’s It About?
Years after a harrowing war experience, ex-mercenary Jespar Dal'Varek has taken to drifting. It's a lonely existence, but, barring the occasional bout of melancholia, he has found the closest thing to peace a man like him deserves. Life is "all right."

Or so he believes. Hoping to turn the page, Jespar accepts a mysterious invitation into the beautiful but dangerous archipelago of Kilay-and everything changes.

Plagued by explosive social tensions and terrorism, the tropical empire is edging ever closer to civil war. Kilay's merchant king is the only person able to prevent this catastrophe, but he has fallen into a preternatural coma-and it's Jespar's task to figure out what or who caused it. As the investigation takes him across the archipelago and into the king's nightmares, unexpected events not only tie Jespar's own life to the mystery but also unearth inner demons he believed to be long exorcised.

Battling old trauma while fighting for his life, his sanity, and the fate of Kilay, the line between dream and reality blurs until only one question remains: If your mind is the enemy, where do you run?

What I Thought

Like many others, my first exposure to Lietzau’s work was the full-conversion Skyrim mod Enderal: Forgotten Stories. I played about two hours and really enjoyed myself, but I ended up wandering in the wrong direction and facing an enemy I couldn’t defeat. Demoralized, I haven’t picked up the game again - but I do fully intend to return to it (she says while physically restraining herself from replaying Dragon Age). My understanding is that this book was originally set in the Enderal world but then had to be modified so that it wasn’t connected with Enderal anymore. If I’d played more, I’d be able to say more about this; as it stands, the world of Dreams of the Dying is definitely well-realized on its own.

I was fully absorbed while I read this book and I think Lietzau is a very intelligent person and a strong writer in many ways. I thoroughly enjoyed what I felt was an engaging plot, grisly horror elements, very cool magic in the forms of dreamwalking and shifting, and some powerful character development in the “Great Dreamer” Oonai. That being said, there were also a lot of things that did not work for me here and I decided that I wanted to spend some time talking about them here.

Many reviews have described this book as deeply philosophical, and that is definitely true. It is rife with discussions of capitalism, morality, oppression, and determinism vs. choice. The main character, Jespar, largely believes that people act however they do because it preserves their sense of self-identity and cognitive dissonance keeps them from examining alternatives. For example, Oonai needed to believe in the capitalist, individualist bootstraps narrative. Jespar’s fatalism itself is another example of this because of how mired he feels in his own issues. The character Lissja argues against his determinism at first, but her ultimate conclusion at the end of the book is an extension of Jespar’s theory: we don’t really have a choice in what we do, but we have to believe that we do because the alternative is so incredibly difficult to live with.

One of the things I wish Lietzau had explored more is the relationship between determinism and a sense of fatalism about suffering and oppression. Given that a large part of the book is about a revolution of the masses, I’m still not quite sure how this fits in with a philosophy of determinism. Doesn’t the idea that we have no real control over our lives and choices fit somewhat strangely with the ways that we see the colonized proletariat in this book successfully resist the status quo and fight back? Or, perhaps, is the idea that oppression and resistance follow each other in a predetermined cycle? This is touched on a bit when Lissa argues back against Jespar’s determinism, but I would have liked to have seen more of it.

I don’t know how true this is of philosophy in general, but some of Jespar’s arguments just feel so out of touch and needlessly granular to me - for example, he says that unless you have no money or spend it all on charity, everyone puts people’s needs above their own to some extent. Therefore a merchant who buys his wife a dress could be considered no more evil than a capitalist “Great Dreamer” who ruthlessly exploits and kills people to attain his power and wealth. Call me dumb, but to me they clearly are not the same????

I am also unsure how this fits with another statement of his, which is that only the net results of good and bad we achieve in our lives matter and the argument against violent resistance that “answering injustice with injustice will never be right.” If the achievement of the revolution is a society that moves forward free of its previous oppression, wouldn’t that be considered a positive net result, or is it canceled out by the bloodshed that accomplished it? It seems that Jespar’s argument is that the good would not cancel out the bad - but then wouldn’t the Great Dreamer’s net result of living a rich, happy life while killing and exploiting people for his own gain make his actions morally worse than the merchant buying his wife a dress?

Again, I only brushed up against these kinds of conversations the slightest bit in some undergrad seminars, so maybe the problem is me failing to truly understand the arguments at play here. As it stands though, the philosophy in this book largely left me feeling annoyed and frustrated, both because of the arguments as I understood them and the ways that they seemed to be incongruous even coming from the same character. I think another big problem is that these topics are largely explored via characters having long debates with each other, often at strange times such as while they are lost in an alley. (I probably only noticed this because it’s a flaw that is definitely also present in my own writing).

The other major part of this book is Jespar’s struggle with trauma, depression and suicidality. The author’s note makes it clear that this exploration comes from his personal journey and I have a great deal of respect for that experience and intention. The execution, however, feels somewhat unsuccessful to me. Jespar’s cycles of spiraling and nightmares got extremely tedious and I say that as someone who is currently doing this Trauma in SFF reading project. My basic argument is one that I see come up often when people discuss the depiction of mental health in Sanderson’s Stormlight Archives: yes, the experience of having mental illness is repetitive and frustrating and painful, but that doesn’t mean that the experience of reading about it has to be too.

It was to me here, particularly because Jespar has the same dream about the Corpse in the swamp over and over again. I do think it’s excellent thinking on Lietzau’s part to have his nosedive and rock bottom moment come at the end of the book after the intense trials of the plot are over - this makes a ton of sense because Jespar just had to push on in crisis mode until finally getting a chance for everything to hit him all at once. I think this is something that other authors could incorporate to great effect. But the problem is that the reader ticks through the final percentages of the book watching the character drink and wallow and make terrible decisions, wondering if there is going to be any kind of resolution. For me, at least, the resolution that does happen is not satisfying because it is so sudden. Jespar has a sudden breakthrough at the very end of the book and then sails off into the sunset with Lissja, who randomly happens to be on the same boat as him. Again, I do like that Lietzau did something unconventional with the main character’s arc but I think less repetition and more space for resolution would have made it more impactful. I've seen plenty of reviews talking about how impactful this book was for readers with mental health issues, so of course YMMV!

There’s also a lot of rape in this book, handled somewhat strangely to me. On more than one occasion Jespar just walks past women while they are being assaulted, and when he walked in on his soldier friend raping a girl in his backstory, he attacked his friend and then left the house with his friend and the girl still inside. I don’t think it requires a lot of insight to extrapolate what would happen after he left the house. I would actually be fine reading a story about a man who wasn’t able to intervene effectively in these assaults, and I feel like that could even be incorporated in the general morass of his regret and self-loathing. But the strange thing is that Lietzau just doesn’t really do that?? Jespar is traumatized by what happens with his friend, but the general message he beats himself up with is that he brings bad luck and suffering wherever he goes. There are no thoughts about what happens to any of these women after Jespar leaves, no moments of him truly being conflicted by his lack of effective intervention in a meaningful way or anything like that. It felt strange and fridge-y to me, and an extremely tasteless rape joke hinging on Jespar’s alcoholism further soured my feelings about how the topic was handled and how prominent it was in the story.

A couple of random scattered thoughts about other things that didn’t work for me - many characters speak in a hackneyed lower-class accent that is spelled out in vernacular, which I never really like. Also, there are a surprising and (to me) excessive number of references to scaphism or threats to have characters killed with scaphism. By the end I wasn’t grossed out by the descriptions anymore, just puzzled as to why there were so many of them.

There was a lot here that did not work for me, but I mentioned earlier that a number of the books main elements did feel stronger to me. The sticking points that bothered me might not be as consequential to other readers, and there is a lot that makes this book a unique and powerful read. I’ll be keeping an eye out for the next book while hoping that some of those rough edges get smoothed down…and maybe I’ll go back to Enderal and try not to die again.