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Freaky Florida #5
Going Batty
A vampire tale even a caveman would love.
The retired vampires at Squid Tower in Jellyfish Beach, Florida, have it good. Until some ancient vampires show up in a massive yacht named The Man Cave. These guys are a bunch of Neanderthals. No, really. You see, not all Neanderthals went extinct. Some went undead. And they want to rule all the vampires of Florida.
Missy Mindle, midlife witch and nurse to elderly supernaturals, uses her magick to help her vampire patients fight back. But when the Neanderthals start taking vampire hostages, and kidnap the daughter of Missy’s cousin, get ready for a conflict of prehistoric proportions.
Going Batty is Book 5 of Freaky Florida, a clean, humorous fantasy series filled with magic, monsters, and mystery; sarcasm and satire; and, of course, Florida Man. If you love the thrills of urban fantasy, the wit of witch mysteries and paranormal women’s fiction, and a big splash of comedy, this series is for you.
The retired vampires at Squid Tower in Jellyfish Beach, Florida, have it good. Until some ancient vampires show up in a massive yacht named The Man Cave. These guys are a bunch of Neanderthals. No, really. You see, not all Neanderthals went extinct. Some went undead. And they want to rule all the vampires of Florida.
Missy Mindle, midlife witch and nurse to elderly supernaturals, uses her magick to help her vampire patients fight back. But when the Neanderthals start taking vampire hostages, and kidnap the daughter of Missy’s cousin, get ready for a conflict of prehistoric proportions.
Going Batty is Book 5 of Freaky Florida, a clean, humorous fantasy series filled with magic, monsters, and mystery; sarcasm and satire; and, of course, Florida Man. If you love the thrills of urban fantasy, the wit of witch mysteries and paranormal women’s fiction, and a big splash of comedy, this series is for you.
266 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 23, 2020
66 people are currently reading
38 people want to read
About the author
Ward Parker
40 books59 followersWard is a Florida native and author of the the Memory Guild midlife paranormal mystery thrillers, the Monsters of Jellyfish Beach paranormal mysteries, and the Freaky Florida humorous paranormal series, all of which are chock full of psychics, witches, vampires, werewolves, dragons, and other bizarre, mythical creatures, such as #FloridaMan. He also pens the Zeke Adams series of noir mysteries. He lives in Florida (of course) with his wife, cats, and a demon who prefers to remain anonymous.
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
September 26, 2020
Gladys Finklestein read her little story to the others in their creative writing class. One of the men said it sounded like a dream and not a writing exercise. She admitted she had been having a dream about ape-men vampires who want to take over the supernaturals in Florida and kill the humans! It feels like someone is planting thoughts in her head, though, and not really a dream. And she didn’t feel safe!
Something woke Gladys at 3:15 a.m. and she felt she was not alone. She could not see anyone, but the sliding glass door opened and a huge man named Thogg walked in. He said he liked her stories and it was time to take her now! He bit her neck with a painful bite, drinking noisily and deeply, and she passed out. A distress call was passed to Missy Mindle who showed up at Gladys’ apartment. Agnes, a vampire leader, had also responded and said Gladys was weak and barely conscious, displaying the wounds of a vampire bite! Missy gave her a transfusion and cleaned her very large wounds. When Gladys finally opened her eyes, she told them it was a man from her dreams. He wasn’t ape-like but seemed to be the oldest vampire she had ever seen.
The retired vampires at Squid Tower in Jellyfish Beach, Florida, have it good. Until some ancient vampires show up in a massive yacht named The Man Cave. These guys are a bunch of Neanderthals. No, really. You see, not all Neanderthals went extinct. Some went undead. And they want to rule all the vampires of Florida. Missy put a warding spell on the windows to keep anyone from entering and Agnes activated their neighborhood watch group to patrol the property. But right before midnight, Missy got a call from Agnes that Gladys was missing and her balcony door was open!
Now that the ancient Neanderthal vampires were taking hostages, Missy must use her magic to help the others fight back. Where did they come from? Why are they doing this? And can they be stopped?
This book, like the rest of the series, was a fun reading experience, well-written and full of non-stop action and laughs. Grab your copy and try to follow the continuous twists and turns to see if Missy can get some answers here and rescue the hostages!
Something woke Gladys at 3:15 a.m. and she felt she was not alone. She could not see anyone, but the sliding glass door opened and a huge man named Thogg walked in. He said he liked her stories and it was time to take her now! He bit her neck with a painful bite, drinking noisily and deeply, and she passed out. A distress call was passed to Missy Mindle who showed up at Gladys’ apartment. Agnes, a vampire leader, had also responded and said Gladys was weak and barely conscious, displaying the wounds of a vampire bite! Missy gave her a transfusion and cleaned her very large wounds. When Gladys finally opened her eyes, she told them it was a man from her dreams. He wasn’t ape-like but seemed to be the oldest vampire she had ever seen.
The retired vampires at Squid Tower in Jellyfish Beach, Florida, have it good. Until some ancient vampires show up in a massive yacht named The Man Cave. These guys are a bunch of Neanderthals. No, really. You see, not all Neanderthals went extinct. Some went undead. And they want to rule all the vampires of Florida. Missy put a warding spell on the windows to keep anyone from entering and Agnes activated their neighborhood watch group to patrol the property. But right before midnight, Missy got a call from Agnes that Gladys was missing and her balcony door was open!
Now that the ancient Neanderthal vampires were taking hostages, Missy must use her magic to help the others fight back. Where did they come from? Why are they doing this? And can they be stopped?
This book, like the rest of the series, was a fun reading experience, well-written and full of non-stop action and laughs. Grab your copy and try to follow the continuous twists and turns to see if Missy can get some answers here and rescue the hostages!
November 15, 2021
What a delightful new take on the Vampires! Now we think of vampires as modern, young to middle age or occasionally elderly when they were taken. Now what year were they taken? Maybe at most of the 1800’s, or if we think possibly the 1500’s. However, could they be BCE (BC) ok that could be. Now let’s take it a little further back. Could they go back as far as the hunters and gathers? Never thought about it. Who was the first vampire? Well Mr. Ward takes us a bit further all the way back to the Neanderthals. Moreover, when those nasty Neanderthals show up in their yacht and decide to descend on our favorite beach town of Jellyfish what is to be done? And when they decide they want to rule all the vampires of Florida our favorite characters need to fight back! How? What can be done? Will the Neanderthals take retirement away for the Vampires at Squid Tower? You will have to read to find out.
Ward Parker write his novels with a gentle laugh and chuckle. You read along and all of a sudden you realize that you are thinking the tale he weaves is just a normal every day happen stance and then it dawns you – he is not only talking about Vampires like that way an everyday occurrence, but he is talking about Neanderthals! And you just have to chuckle about how he has just “pulled your leg” and you fell for it all! It is such a joy to read these “cozy” novels, once in a while it is kind of nice not to take life so seriously and that is when you need to pick up one of the Freaky Friday novels. They do not have to be read in order, but I would not want to miss even one of them. They are the only novels that I like to read again just to put me in a positive frame of mind! OH, and also, I am from Florida and I think it is “just a hoot” that his stories are based here! I highly recommend this novel and the entire series. I received a free copy of this book via BookFunnel and am voluntarily leaving a review.
Ward Parker write his novels with a gentle laugh and chuckle. You read along and all of a sudden you realize that you are thinking the tale he weaves is just a normal every day happen stance and then it dawns you – he is not only talking about Vampires like that way an everyday occurrence, but he is talking about Neanderthals! And you just have to chuckle about how he has just “pulled your leg” and you fell for it all! It is such a joy to read these “cozy” novels, once in a while it is kind of nice not to take life so seriously and that is when you need to pick up one of the Freaky Friday novels. They do not have to be read in order, but I would not want to miss even one of them. They are the only novels that I like to read again just to put me in a positive frame of mind! OH, and also, I am from Florida and I think it is “just a hoot” that his stories are based here! I highly recommend this novel and the entire series. I received a free copy of this book via BookFunnel and am voluntarily leaving a review.
September 27, 2020
I think my expectations of this story was set a bit high as I kept waiting for the humor to start. There were tons of sarcasm and silly wit but not as many laughs as I was hoping…more like chuckles.
For me this was like Golden Girls, Cocoon, Scobby Doo with hints of a mafia like take over and a few other senior citizen movies rolled into one. Missy Mindle a witch that takes care of these retired vampires is the main character. She has spunk, sass and a big caring heart. Her vampires are her family and she protects her own.
These are not the pretty sparkly vampires of the current trend these are senior citizens that are now vampires, they have their longevity but not there ability to cure themselves of the diseases they had before they became vampires. The old/new vampires can change into bats and go up in smoke when stabbed like those in Buffy. Was a nice blending of many different takes on the vampire mythos.
The retirees at Squid Tower are actually fun eccentric vampires and you do get drawn into their world and want to make sure that things go back to their normal for them without too much murder and mayhem whipping them out.
Clean, if at times a bit messy read that will leave you amused and hoping that when you retire that you have the spunk that they have to stand fast in the face of danger.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
For me this was like Golden Girls, Cocoon, Scobby Doo with hints of a mafia like take over and a few other senior citizen movies rolled into one. Missy Mindle a witch that takes care of these retired vampires is the main character. She has spunk, sass and a big caring heart. Her vampires are her family and she protects her own.
These are not the pretty sparkly vampires of the current trend these are senior citizens that are now vampires, they have their longevity but not there ability to cure themselves of the diseases they had before they became vampires. The old/new vampires can change into bats and go up in smoke when stabbed like those in Buffy. Was a nice blending of many different takes on the vampire mythos.
The retirees at Squid Tower are actually fun eccentric vampires and you do get drawn into their world and want to make sure that things go back to their normal for them without too much murder and mayhem whipping them out.
Clean, if at times a bit messy read that will leave you amused and hoping that when you retire that you have the spunk that they have to stand fast in the face of danger.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
September 27, 2020
Neanderthal vampires with a cave bear vampire sidekick turn out to be an ugly and devastating threat to the facility Missy works at, and even more damaging to the recovering drug addicts who serve as food for the very large, very old vampires .
Too bad Thogg has his mind set on global domination. The vampires Missy works with resist until several are taken hostage, including Missy, and they are forced to swear fealty .
Missy has to rethink the danger level if vampires to the human population, as well as the ways she uses her witchly skills
The physique and skill sets of the Neanderthals is fundamentally different from the elderly modern vampires Missy normally works with
The appearance of her recovering drug addict cousin makes things even more complex
Thought provoking and twisted with some true friends and some true traitors
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
Too bad Thogg has his mind set on global domination. The vampires Missy works with resist until several are taken hostage, including Missy, and they are forced to swear fealty .
Missy has to rethink the danger level if vampires to the human population, as well as the ways she uses her witchly skills
The physique and skill sets of the Neanderthals is fundamentally different from the elderly modern vampires Missy normally works with
The appearance of her recovering drug addict cousin makes things even more complex
Thought provoking and twisted with some true friends and some true traitors
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
February 21, 2021
Not quite as good as the last book but enjoyable nonetheless!
In this book, a group of neanderthal vampires from the stone age, want to rule the vampires in the senior citizen complex and also eventually the humans of the world. The first senior vampire that is taken/kidnapped is Gladys who is Anges' (the HOA's head) secretary. Soon others are taken including Schwartz and Bill. A no-win situation is put in front of Agnes and she has to decide whether to resist or give in. :(
Again, the characters are well written and seem like old friends to the reader. The plot is well constructed and flows right along naturally. Don't be put off by my first line in which I said it was not quite as good as the last book because I found the last book to be the best of the series so far but you may think differently. :)
In this book, a group of neanderthal vampires from the stone age, want to rule the vampires in the senior citizen complex and also eventually the humans of the world. The first senior vampire that is taken/kidnapped is Gladys who is Anges' (the HOA's head) secretary. Soon others are taken including Schwartz and Bill. A no-win situation is put in front of Agnes and she has to decide whether to resist or give in. :(
Again, the characters are well written and seem like old friends to the reader. The plot is well constructed and flows right along naturally. Don't be put off by my first line in which I said it was not quite as good as the last book because I found the last book to be the best of the series so far but you may think differently. :)
April 25, 2021
This is not a laugh out loud book, it is a frequent quiet chuckle, perfect for "me" time after everyone is asleep. A different kind of vampire is unleased in Florida. What they want and how they plan to accomplish it is up for grabs. As Missy becomes more and more a part of the life at the senior home feelings grow on both sides. While on a quest to find a lost relative Missy discovers misdeeds in the world of drug rehab that also involve her senior charges. Matt jumps in, literally at one point, and ends up with a notch on his stake and a major headline. What does ancient history, yachts and vampires have to do with each other, it's all a Florida Man event.
September 18, 2020
Someone or something is kidnapping Missy's patients. People are vanishing and no one knows where or why. Missy as usual decides to find out what is going on. She's determined to get her patients back. She recruits some of the elderly patients and her beau to help her. Does she catch her patients kidnappers? Are they still alive and why are they being taken? This is a good paranormal series. It's lite and cozy with delightful mysteries.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
September 26, 2020
Another terrific tale from Freaky Florida
This is the latest in Ward Parker’s giggles to guffaws series about Missy, Home Health Nurse to the elderly supernatural citizens of Jellyfish Beach. Missy’s growing more confident in her magic skills while this area of the Florida Coast just gets crazier!
One deeply personal question looms for Missy throughout this book as well. Since she has dedicated her life to non-violence, is it right for her to kill- in even self defense?
A complex, modern woman in a fun, and very original magical tale.
This is the latest in Ward Parker’s giggles to guffaws series about Missy, Home Health Nurse to the elderly supernatural citizens of Jellyfish Beach. Missy’s growing more confident in her magic skills while this area of the Florida Coast just gets crazier!
One deeply personal question looms for Missy throughout this book as well. Since she has dedicated her life to non-violence, is it right for her to kill- in even self defense?
A complex, modern woman in a fun, and very original magical tale.
September 20, 2020
If you haven't read any of the books in this series, you don't know what your missing. I love the characters. The story flows nicely throughout the book. It's also hysterically funny. If you read this at night while in bed, be sure to put eat plugs on your significant other, so that your laughing doesn't wake him/her up. LOL
I volunteered an honest review in exchange for an ARC copy of this book!
I volunteered an honest review in exchange for an ARC copy of this book!
October 14, 2020
5.0 out of 5 stars Jellyfish Beach, Florida is my favorite vacation spot!
Reviewed in the United States on September 26, 2020
Jellyfish Beach, Florida is my favorite vacation spot! Missy and the residents are wonderfully funny and eccentric and these new ape-men vampires are awesome. The story is quirky and fun as well. I love this series and can’t wait for the next one. I received an ARC and this is my hopes opinion.
Reviewed in the United States on September 26, 2020
Jellyfish Beach, Florida is my favorite vacation spot! Missy and the residents are wonderfully funny and eccentric and these new ape-men vampires are awesome. The story is quirky and fun as well. I love this series and can’t wait for the next one. I received an ARC and this is my hopes opinion.
September 22, 2020
Another wacky hit, I mean who knew that there were Vampires in the stone age!? But as always the home health nurse Missy and her "crew" were up to the task. Alot of fun twist and turns, false leads as well as unexpected allies! read books in order, you dont want to miss the books the who, whys and how!!
Read
September 25, 2020Creepy yet humorous
I've read few books that combine the creepy factor with humorous dialogue as well as this series. This book was especially spooky with crazy vampires. I'm not sure what genre this series belongs in but a cozy comedic mystery with a touch of horror is close. Weird but fun.
I've read few books that combine the creepy factor with humorous dialogue as well as this series. This book was especially spooky with crazy vampires. I'm not sure what genre this series belongs in but a cozy comedic mystery with a touch of horror is close. Weird but fun.
October 4, 2020
This is a brilliant read.
Wonderful well written plot and story line that had me engaged from the start.
Love the well fleshed out characters and found them believable.
Great suspense and action with wonderful world building.
Can't wait to read what the author brings out next.
Recommend reading.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
Wonderful well written plot and story line that had me engaged from the start.
Love the well fleshed out characters and found them believable.
Great suspense and action with wonderful world building.
Can't wait to read what the author brings out next.
Recommend reading.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
October 12, 2020
What a fun story. Can you imagine meeting Neanderthal vampires in person? Not a pleasant thought. Thogg is a creature with a chip the size of Europe on his shoulder. Can he be defeated by Missy and the geriatric citizens of Squid Towers. Laugh and enjoy this crazy tale, you will be glad you did.
September 27, 2020
Ward Parker has done it again! A delightfully hilarious read that will keep you amused from start to finish. I can't wait to see what happens next in the Freaky Florida world.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
October 14, 2020
This book in the Florida Man series did not disappoint! I love reading about Missy's trials, misadventures, and learning about new kinds of people/creatures right here in the USA! And don't forget, NO-ONE better mess with her patients!
Thank you Mr. Ward for another great read!
Thank you Mr. Ward for another great read!
October 21, 2020
The four books before this one were very fun and exciting to read, but this one... whoa. This one felt like it had gone up about 5 notches. I was literally on the edge of my seat. It felt psychological to me. I have said it before and I will say it again. I. Love. This. Series.
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews