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195 pages, Hardcover
First published July 20, 2021
"It is better," said the cat, "to accept what cannot be changed, and pee on it."
Each of the animals at the council was a species ambassador, chosen (some more democratically than others) by their fellows. It had been agreed that each would have an opportunity to speak before voting.
The order of speakers had been agreed at the previous meeting, after a venerable rabbit had been devoured over questions of procedure.
"All of us are here. Anyone who is not here is not us. That's we. So we can begin."
"But if the others aren't here," said the bear, slowly, focusing on one bit of the problem, "how will they decide how to vote?"
"They vote as we tell them," said the baboon. "Animals like that."
"Hear the bird laws! On the full moon, no worms! On the seventh day, attend thy nest! Thou shalt not fly above the mountain, nor below the sea! Caw Caw Caw!
"Humans are a danger to The Egg," said the crow. "Kill them all!"
Though the crows and the baboons had, per the agreement at the council, spread the word about the decision to eat all the humans, no other species had massed with them. The original baboon emissary, whom we came to know earlier, was frustrated by this, but finally he decided it did not matter. He was certain the baboons would finish off the remaining humans. They didn't need any other species' help! And he, personally, would be certain to approach the battle from the rear. Plenty of idiot baboons to go ahead of him. He started a chant, to rile them up:
"Eat the children! Eat the children!"
Other baboons joined in.
"Eat the children! Eat the children!"
Shocking?
But why should it be?
Why, indeed, the historian would ask, are we continually surprised by the rapacity, violence, and arrogance of those creatures who ascend to leadership? Do we not recall, throughout animal history, the despots and fools who have so handily outnumbered the saints? History is a dark tail that doesn't wag.


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