Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company, and Sheol for…well, the screaming silence of eternal nothingness?
In the frigid lands belonging to the Queen of the Unseelie, a beautiful stranger dressed all in ivory makes his approach. A debt is owed, and payment is due.
Below the burning lakes of everlasting woe and the single, vast city of Hell, lies Sheol—the Hell below Hell. A place of absolute nothingness, occupied only by fallen demons, slain angels, and lost souls. No sight. No sound. Nothing but the infinite expanse of muted, inky blackness to serve as maddening companions for all of eternity. And that’s exactly where John must go to try and save those he loves, and those who trusted him.
Armed with only a nine-inch nail pulled from Christ’s flesh, John must discover a way to descend into the endless abyss, find his friends, and lead them back out to safety before he becomes a permanent resident himself and has to pay property taxes.
Unfortunately, since the dawn of creation, no one has ever escaped Sheol. But John is a vampirican, not a vampirican’t. As long as Samael isn’t actively trying to sabotage his plans with some nefarious scheme…
If you like Jim Butcher, Shayne Silvers, Cameron O’Connell, Kevin Hearne, Steve McHugh, Ilona Andrews, Patricia Briggs, Shannon Mayer, or K.F. Breene, you won't be able to put down the highly addictive Preternatural Chronicles.
My name is Hunter, and I’m a wordaholic. I’m also about to break the fourth wall…of your mindhole. Because there is a true story behind this…well…story.
It begins with two best friends who grew up together, breaking rules and raising hell as they shaped each other’s personalities into the shameless assholes they are today. Well, at least for one of them, but I’ll get to that in a moment. These two boys—let’s call them Hunter and John—were all but inseparable. John excelled at creating music powerful enough to make angels weep and being the funniest asshole in Texas while Hunter dabbled—poorly, I might add—in his humble writings. Because they were self-declared brothers from other mothers, John respected Hunter’s humble writings as much as I—I mean Hunter (stupid third person perspective)—respected John’s musical magic. John’s tunes could have changed the world, one day…
One fine day, after reading one of Hunter’s horrifically detailed short stories about a serial killer, John asked Hunter to write a story about him.
“Hell yeah, dude! What do you want to be?” Hunter asked, brimming with honor and biting back a very manly squee.
“A vampire,” John responded with a mischievous gleam in his eye. “But not one of those sparkly ones. A true bad ass!”
“Done!” Hunter crowed with a smile and an accompanying high five.
“No, dude. Promise. Promise you’ll write and finish a book about me. You are the most prolific writer of our generation!” John said. (Something like that. I might be paraphrasing a little, but you get the gist of it). “I would consider it an honor to live on for eternity with your words as my life’s blood.”
Hunter agreed, never to realize the weight of that promise until one Sunday morning when John’s mother called, crying incoherently.
John…had died.
Hunter was left in a cold world without his best friend and doppelgänger. Hunter still thinks about that moment to this day. How the morning light crept through the bedroom window while Hunter stared at the ceiling, noticing how the popcorn texture created cruel, jagged shadows. How everything started to blur as his chest was crushed beneath the weight of what he was hearing, each word stacking heavily upon the other until only fitful, ragged gasps of air could escape his throat. Only fiery tears existed, especially after the horrific realization that Hunter now had to make some of the hardest phone calls of his life to the circle of friends who orbited around John’s solar pull.
Their star was no more, leaving their universe a colder and darker place.
John not only left Hunter, but a friend named Valenta as well. There was also Nathanial and Depweg. The friends were each stricken numb with the loss of such a beloved flare of life. But…
When the three found out that Hunter was keeping his promise to write the greatest story ever told—starring their dear friend, John—they demanded to be a part of the adventure. Each of them immediately knew what type of supernatural character they wanted to play in this urban fantasy eulogy. It would be a funeral pyre of words, and their fictional personas would be John’s pallbearers.
So please, as you read the following pages, feel free to laugh. Laugh at the situations John is placed in and his dickish dialogue to those around him, because John is 100% in this story without alteration (albeit he is a vampire). Laugh and let his memory live on inside the theater of your mind. Like he does in ours.
Thank you, sincerely, from the bottom of my beating heart, for giving my best friend the chance to live again. You are part of this magical ritual, and that would make him the happiest man in the…well, wherever the hell he is.
Another awesome book by our robe wearing author monkey. I dont know where to start, as I binged this book at work, completely unable and unwilling to put it down.
You hurt my feelings and made me laugh maniacally multiple with this one.
Can't wait for the next installment, John On with a capital 'O', since apparently the distinction is important.
If you're new to this series and trying to start here, you should probably go back and read the others. I promise you'll enjoy them.
Never fear, all of John's hallmark humor and mayhem are in here. But Hunter Blain also ramps up the speculation and introspection as John contemplates the validity of concepts like 'good' and 'evil', and struggles with the idea that his actions - no matter how benign - have consequences. Obviously we - and John - are being set up for more mind-blowing events down the road. Belly laughs, joy, love, loss, grief, rage... It's all here. Oh, and beware the spoon! ;-)
Holy Sheoly is absolutely an accurate description!
John has been to hell and back and then to hell and back again. There is that one brief trip to mars too. Of course, every trip he takes is all inclusive, which includes, but is not limited to complimentary ass kicking (john's and others), movie references, sarcasm, puns, and puppies. This is the best book in the series so far and leaves you wanting more. John On!
You hit the ground running with this book. It literally picks up where the previous one left off which I love. This one is more John focused than the previous one and we see a lot of growth in his character. The story is fast paced and seriously hilarious moments. Highly recommend this series but be warned that it is highly addictive and hard to put down
Amazing action packed thrill ride with a side of feels!!
As per usual, this author knocks it out of the park right out of the gates... Gates of Hell! The humor pours over the cornucopia of action making this book hard to put down. The heart wrenching Feels thru this story doesn't make it any easier either. 10/10 - Undeadpool pushes beyond Hell to save the ones he cares for the most from the vast abyss of nothingness with a righteous fury of one who can only be part Demon and part Angel. Just simply NEAT!
Thank you Hunter for yet another wonderful book. My kids not so happy I've ignored them today. They are older so no harm. This year has been hard as I've lost my twin I have plunged myself into your books to laugh. Thank you for reminding me to live.
Wow! Just wow! John the vampire with a heart of gold! Fights warlocks, demons and angels. Snuggles puppies. Goes to Sheol, Heaven and Fae. Saves souls. Finds lost friends only to lose them. Snark, fighting, lovin’ and sass. Please read!
Probably the best one yet! John is learning and growing. Depweg is doing his best. Lane is pretty awesome. Lily is H-O-T... figuratively speaking of course. Should NOT have read after abdominal surgery. Literal sidesplitting laughter. Worth it! Great read!
Wow! Hunter Blain surpasses himself in this book, taking the reader on a journey into the very bowels of hell and then just a bit deeper. Awesome addition to the Preternatural chronicles.
HOLY SHEOLY : Book #6 The Preternatural Chronicles) : HUNTER BLAIN
WHAM BAM TAKE A LOOK AT HUNTER'S LATEST GRAND SLAM!!!
HOLY SHEOLY BAT FREAKS CHOCK-A-BLOCK FULL OF BIFFO'S WHAM'S, BAM'S, THWAK'S & WHACK'S!!!
I began this incredible Series Of The Preternatural Chronicles reading & listening Book #1 'I'M GLAD YOU'RE DEAD only a few weeks ago, Big Kudos go to the sensational Award Winning Narrator Luke Daniels who voices Hunters characters to perfection & with perfect comedic timing that hurt your face till you'll laughing so hard you cry & then I went immediately on to Book #6 HOLY SHEOLY (unfortunately there’s no audio just yet, but it’s coming! And although I may have missed much in between I have already bought book 0.5 Deliverance on e-book & audio as I need to 'John On' catching up & knowing every minute detail of riotous hell raising, angelic do gooding while laughing till u cry @ John & Co's crazy antics, calamities, trials & tribulations on all that I've missed. Soon as Holy Sheoly is done & dusted & I'm Deliver-anced from Hunters spell & on to books 2-5 including the short stories 2.5 & 5.5. But I need all these books in both formats to read & listen too.
Luke Daniels & Hunter Blain are Gold together! Or Heaven & Hell 'cos as much as I love them both, they cause me tears of pain that essentially begin as laughter till I'm bawling like a new born spawn in pain as I've hurt myself in one form or another laughing or chocking on my drink / food while it spews out my nose & mouth like some Angelic fountain of Rome!
This is not your average teen sparkly vampire usually! Hunter Blain's John Cook is so much more and this Spar-tacular character is unique likeable & loveable and a damn good force for the greater good. There's never been another like him & probably never will again, Man is Part Vampire, Part Demon, Part Angel. He's a superhero in Angel / Fae in armour cleaning up the world one bad guy/girl at a time. A superhero with a conscious he wants to help everyone in trouble especially kids or those persecuted for loving the so called wrong person, being born in the wrong country or wrong body. This man, This Monster is on a mission & he's a wishing he could be Justice of the world's troubles & becomes judge, jury & executioner!!!
Just whack an ivory mask, a superhero JO sigil on his chest & a pair of undies outside his trousers & you have a modern day Batman or Superman, just one with fangs who’s more like the Joker or Phanos, well you get it, more like the traditional bad guy, but its all just an optical illusion to keep the Crim's & Creeps on their toes! Holy Sheoly is a party for not just 7, but all 8 senses! The Sa-weet smell (olfactory) & touch (Tactile) of the book, the visual (sight) of the words for the eyes, the sa-weet sounds (Auditory) of Luke Daniels award winning tones on the ears, the bad taste (Gustatory) Hunter Blain leaves in your mouth after leaving you with more questions than answers, killing a favourite character or leaving you on a cliff-hanger, Proprioception & Vestibular (movement / balance ) of your head & body as you spit up your spine killing yourself laughing at all the puns & sick jokes & then as all 7 combine & collide to create the 8th as it to takes you on an epic journey of the mind (third eye) as the chapters of each novel play out in your mind like the scenes of a motion picture in X-Men or big screen TV series episode of Supernatural!
This vampire's not the 'Sparkly Type', but he's an Sparktacular One Of Kind Vampire × Demon × Angel! Vamdemgel, Angdempire, Angmonpire, Demvangle Damnpire who only drinks dry absolutely a@#holes & criminals doing the world a favour by cleaning /sipping /draining & taking out the trash!
Its snot just a laugh-a-thon-out-loud comedy to rival Deadpool in the stakes department, but there’s many tear jerking, heart breaking, heart-felt moments of love & mateship with slobbers, blobbers clobbers galore, & snot bubbles in the beard & that's just me, snot to mention John's covered from fang to foot in it too & at times he's up to his neck in shite! And just you Whoop whoop whoop wait for the laughter to roll you on the floor in your own drool!
Better watch out, be on your toes Shayne, better keep up your game for The Blain may just take over your Lane & Fame (as my All-Time Favourite American Male Author)!
I RATE HOLY SHEOLY 5 ⭐ OUT OF 5 ⭐ I Knew This Series Will Only Get Better!
I Recommend Hunter Blain, This Book & The & Audio When Released. Run Out & Buy Them Today. Luke Daniels Does A Fantastic Rendition You Wont Be Disappointed!!!
I received an ARC of this book from the author and this is my fair honest and impartial review as always.
Reviewed By : Jewelz Pederick. 🙋♀ ❤ From The 🤪 🇦🇺 📖🐛❗ (Bye Love From The Crazy Australian Bookworm!)
I kinda have a love/hate thing to on with the adventures of John Cook & Co. I love the characters and how they all have their own tale to tell. I love John and his annoying habit of needing to have the last (sarcastic) word, his constant film references, which blatantly tells me I need to update my "How many films I've seen" list. I love it all, I really do but sometime the constant battles are a wee bit exhausting. It may be because I'm not a guy but It can literally be page after page going from one battle then walking right into another. When I read, if it's a good book (and they are good)! I tend to get emotionally tied into it and there are a LOT of emotions running throughout which is great but sometimes I have to put the book down after constant fights and read another as I feel mentally exhausted. I would recommend this series, if you're a Shayne Silver fan, if you like action packed, if you like vampires, werewolves, angels and all things magical then go for it!
John Cook is over 500 years old, yet continues to display adolescence and juvenile behavior. When will he grow up? The answer is slowly and painfully, bone by broken bone and lacerated liver by ruptured spleen. He is growing, and does take some things seriously. But after so many wars, skirmish’s, catastrophic mistakes, dire slips on his puns I want him to think about what he’s doing. I want him to assemble his weapons and not forget about them.
That being said, the writing is extraordinarily good. The maneuvering and machinations are epic, but always for the other side. Yet, here I am, a reader with an excellent memory and hopeful expectations, ready to read the 7th book in the series. Yes, the story is that good, the action believable and twists and turns occurring believably. Good Warlock hunting John, don’t loose yourself in rage and maybe use the tools given to you a bit more responsibly.
Holy Shi..eoly I mean. Hunter Blain has again stretched the limits.
John is in Hell again. Literally. He has to help Da, Dawson and Joey. They are all stuck in very depths of Hell, called Sheoly. Somehow he needs to get in and get them out and up to Heaven, where their souls belong. But Samael has his own plans for John. And so does Archangel Michael. And he is still wants to see Lily. But she told him not to find her. Depweg has gone to Farie get healed. Mentally, emotionally as well as physically. Lies and truths. Fights and love scenes. ( okay only 1 love scene. Eww, did we have to know that.) Laughter and tears. Holy Sheoly takes you there. Get your own copy though. I am not sharing mine.
You get to the end of this book and it feels like it had the info from atleast 2 or 3 books it goes from Mars to hell to under hell to heaven to faerie to here John will not leave da and Dawson in hell’s hell nor will he leave Joey in hell he finds da and Dawson in the most unbelievable situation he finds out if he can trust his demon Ulric is back in the picture and of course knowing John as we do he has to keep pushing all the buttons to get more answers than he really wants but hears everything he needs
Holy...something! Going to Hell in a handbasket? Pffft. Too easy for John!
What's worse than Hell? Nothing. Literally, the nothingness of Sheol. In this sixth full-length installment, we find John Cook not just returning to Hell, but smashing straight past it to once again save his friends. In this journey, John is forced to evolve and face some hard truths, difficult decisions, and tough goodbyes.
This book is great, I’m sure someone else has summarized it. I loved this particular escapade and his follow power growth. My only question to the author is how Samael and satan are the same being. Everything I’ve read about those supposed entities marks them as different. Lucifer and Samael were angels, separately right? Someone fill me in, because I have a religious studies professor for a wife and she’s grieving me on this point. Help!
Once again, another STELLAR book from Mr Blain. Even if he’s a mischievous, tricky, & sneaky little gnome or the like, type creature.. he may be half Fae for all I know! In either case, I’m glad to be in his FB Johniacs Group, also.. I may not agree on some of the choices made in the book, but when it’s all said & done & he’s reached the point where John needs to get to, it’ll all either make sense, or feel like he had to go thru all these “labors” to become who needed to be.
I don't mind reading romances of any gender types but the fun thing about urban fantasy should be a darkly bad-ass hero in a duster with weapons and a heart of gold, fighting or making friends with monsters. I kept skipping bits only to land on more romantic angst worthy of a fourteen year old. Serious people concentrate on the job.
Such a good installment. John rocked it so hard on this one. I can't wait to see what happens next. Seriously things are going crazy for John and gang. Loved the but of torture for John at the end with the sparkly, I laughed so much about that.and those epilogues, WOW!
John Cook is the reformed buddy we all wish we could be. He does not mix words because usually he already said it out loud and still he strives to do the right thing. A chat with Charon, greater and lower demons while making a path thru Hell and back. Don't miss the ride or the visuals. Join us and become a fan.
The unrelenting hero -- unwittingly being manipulated for a much more nefarious purpose -- does the one thing he was told not to do in order to save his friends. We get reacquainted with old friends, lose an ally, and then just when things seem to be going right....an unexpected twist. Great job!!
Holy Sheoly may be the best book yet of this series! This unique melding of biblical reference and stories with fantasy and sci-fi showcases Hunters amazing creative ability. The climatic scene was pure magic and joy to read. Oh, and sprinkle some classic Hunter humor on top for a 5-star fantasy sundae! Thanks Hunter!
This series has left me gasping for breath from laughing so hard and then cringing at the vivid descriptions of the carnage! It was a nice tribute, I assume, to Kimbra Swain and Shayne Silvers in the naming of the little sparklies that appear before his eyes!
As I have come to expect from Hunter this book was wonderful. It had me enthralled from the very beginning! I love being a part of John's journey of growth. This has been the most amazing memorial ever and his friend continues to live on in the stories he blesses us with.
Love this series with all the references and childish antics mixed with honest and thoughtful examples of being alive. As stated many times in the novels, Consequences, and for sure the consequence of these is a lifelong fan.