You Are What You Click: How Being Selective, Positive, and Creative Can Transform Your Social Media Experience

by Brian A. Primack

An empowering, forward-thinking solution for creating intentional and healthy social media habits from an expert on media, technology and health.

Internationally acclaimed behavioral scientist and social media expert Brian Primack, MD, PhD, believes we do not need to swear off social media, delete all our online accounts, or give up our phones to live healthier, happier lives. In You Are What You Click , he offers a new approach to digital wellness, and a realist's perspective on how what we consume online affects our well-being. In response, he presents a "social media pyramid" that personalizes our tech diet so we can enjoy a fruitful, balanced relationship with social media.

While many of us turn to social media looking for a sense of connection and comfort, the data show that it may paradoxically leave us feeling more alone and depressed. Drawing on over twenty years of original research, Dr. Primack explains the fascinating nuances of our relationship with social media, its impact on our mental health, and the dangers of social media using us instead of the other way around. He empowers us to take back control with a simple being more selective, positive, and creative with our lives online.

Dr. Primack introduces surprising strategies you can use right away to fine-tune your online experience and discover your definition of digital balance. Through short, actionable chapters, you'll learn how

• Tailor your social media use to your personality.
• Select positive relationships over toxic ones.
• Overcome comparison syndrome and the fear of missing out.
• Fill your feed with meaningful, humorous, and uplifting content.
• Optimize your news intake and resist doomscrolling.
• Improve your sleep, create "tech holidays," and more.

With innovative strategies for managing technology, you'll transform your relationship with tech and discover how to make social media work for you.

You Are What You Click offers a science-backed approach from a credentialed Dr. Brian Primack has an MD and a PhD in Education and Behavioral Science. Primack is the go-to expert on this topic. His work on the intersection of media and health has been cited nearly 6,000 times in peer-reviewed scholarly literature, and he has been featured in major media outlets across the world.

FOR WELLNESS READERS, PARENTS, AND ANYONE WHO USES SOCIAL Dropping off the digital map or deleting all our social media accounts isn't the only option—and often isn't something we feel ready to do. Rather than digital abstinence, with Primack's 3-step plan, tech lovers will be able to understand how to regulate their online social platforms in healthier ways.

A BALANCED PERSPECTIVE ON TECHNOLOGY AND SOCIAL MEDIA IN A POSITIVE Almost every book in this genre portrays technology in a negative or even scary way. With this book, readers will learn how to adjust and balance their presence online with a personalized plan they can use across all platforms, no matter what new social media app goes public next. Primack offers an empowering solution that is forward-thinking, and will continue to be relevant as technology becomes more immersed into our lives.

QUICK, PRACTICAL You Are What You Click is broken into short, actionable chapters that allow readers to understand the research, take action, and see results—perfect for short attention spans whittled down by Facebook and Instagram stories, Twitter, Snapchat, and TikTok!

FOR FANS OF PERSONALITY Fans of books like The Road Back to An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery and The Four The Indispensable Personality Profiles that Reveal How to Make Your Life Better will love the personality quiz and personalized solutions Primack offers for being selective, creative, and healthy with social media use.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Internet, Audiobook

272 pages, Hardcover

Published September 14, 2021

Reviews

[Cari · Rating 5 out of 5]

Primack does an excellent job of summarizing the many issues that can crop up in a person's life when dealing with technology and social media. He gives a solid set of recommendations, including a checklist, that will help you manage your life both online and IRL. I preferred this book to Cal Newport's Digital Minimalism because I felt Primack's approach was much more realistic. Not everyone can completely stop interacting with technology for an entire month, and Primack details the reasons why social media and tech can be beneficial. If it wasn't for the Internet, I wouldn't be able to share this review with you, for instance. You'll be able to use the tools here to create and curate a digital life that is meaningful for you.

[Siqahiqa · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Our phones, the internet, and social media are designed to be sticky, to keep us coming back for more, and to create more craving than satisfaction. Every increase in social media use is linked to a higher risk of becoming depressed. Should we all just throw away our devices?"

Some people might make those choices, but it's not for most of us. The answer is we need to improve how we use this tool in the right way to our advantage. Social media and technologies are here to stay, so let's use them wisely. 

This book will offer a simple but adapatable approach on this matter. The author introduced us to The Social Media Pyramid that consists of three key principles which are: 
1) Be Selective – Select your time, frequency, platform.
2) Be Positive - Focusing on the positive is particularly powerful for social media. 
3) Be Creative – transform something that consumes our time into something that enriches our lives. E.g., turn off notifications and avoid FOMO.

This book is divided into four parts, and part one is my favorite. It is because I like to read about the facts related to social media. Some points that will stick with me are social media seems to lead to depression, but depression does not lead to more social media use and Mean World Syndrome can significantly change someone's view of the whole world.

My favorite chapter is The Good Stuff from social media. The author shares the ten positive ideas that people repeatedly expressed. It's important to remember that social media can have a beneficial impact on our lives. The recent flood in Malaysia shows the remarkable effect of social media use. The writing is easy to follow and the other parts of this book are a quick read as it is something that I already know. 

We're basically never mentally free from our phones, and we need to be aware of how powerful social media can be. Hence, we need to take control of our relationship with social media. Everyone who uses social media should read this book, and it will somehow make us realize the important thing to consider when using social media. For me, the most crucial takeaway is to be selective.

My rating: 3.5/5

Thank you, Times Reads, for the review copy.

instagram.com/siriusiqa

[Becca Sloan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Definitely recommend this for everyone living in the social media age. I appreciated the balanced, common-sense approach. No one can totally avoid social media, so how do I make it work for me? Some things that will stick with me:
1. Repeated phone-checking is proven to be more harmful than one longer period a day.
2. Be selective and creative in the social media you are allowing into your life.
3. Social media companies want to make it as easy as possible for you to scroll and spend your attention and money on their sites. Create friction for yourself on accessing social media.
4. Negativity bias is stronger on social media. Find and create positivity in those spaces. If it’s not adding positivity to your life, cut it. Use the Marie Kondo approach.
5. Ultimately *any* social media use is proven to lead to loneliness and depression. Give that time to real social interaction.

This book was a super quick listen, but will stay with me for a long time. You should read it.

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am not a huge social media user and still found this book fascinating and took away usable steps to be more conscious with my engagement. I appreciated the author’s even-handedness when evaluating the merits and pitfalls of social media use.

[Shari Suarez · Rating 3 out of 5]

A look at the issues that can crop up with social media use and how to use social media responsibly and happily.
The author is a professor of public health so he is definitely qualified to speak on the subject. He cites studies and papers in an interesting not at all clinical manner. Worthwhile read if you're on social media and are concerned about its' effects.

[Mary Margaret · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a fantastic non-fiction read! Although the book is steeped in research, it’s digestible and accessible, with many touching and charming moments. I value Primack’s approach to social media usage as it’s practical and feasible. This is an excellent read for any social media user or parent!

[Lauren · Rating 3 out of 5]

Decent basic info about online usage. Not really 'you are what you click', more about the author and his family along with ways to manage some social media.

Author was flabbergasted his 10yr old could create a powerpoint?

Also TW: book opens with Tree of Life synagogue situation and is referenced several times. Book is secular but has synagogue references.

[Samantha · Rating 3 out of 5]

this isn't a book I would have read if I didn't know the author (from high school). a mutual friend had read it and loaned me a copy. I'm not really concerned about my social media experience - I do use it a lot, facebook is basically my homebase online, but it doesn't depress me and I have no problem going on vacation and not using it. I don't have facebook on my phone, I only access it on my laptop and desktop (a tip brian doesn't give in the book) so if I'm not home on the computer, I'm not on it.

the book was enjoyable to read - brian puts in examples from his and others' research and from pop culture from the 60s to contemporary times. comparing his framework of being selective, positive, and creative to the food pyramid is a central metaphor. it covers a lot of ground - the effects of social media on sleep, on depression, varying by personality type, the frequency you access it as well as the total hours, which platforms you should choose, etc. this does lead to a lot of "we'll discuss this in chapter 24" and "as we talked about on page 31" back and forth. there were topics that would have been of more interest to me that he didn't really delve into - photo posts vs texts posts, for example.

there were a couple of out there suggestions - have an "app party" with your friends where you all concentrate on getting to know how to work a chosen app. race to see who can turn off notifications the fastest! pick a friend to go over your social media feed with you and help you analyze the issues and make changes to be more selective, positive, and creative. also "creative" seemed to mean more "in control" than "posting cool shit you made".

but in general, this is based on 20 years of research and brian obviously knows a lot about a lot of things, so if your social media usage is concerning you, this is probably a good tool.

[Melissa Clancy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is all about digital wellness. I find it fascinating that the fastest growing population of users are adults sixty-five and over.

It didn’t surprise me to learn that people who use social media the most were three times more likely to be depressed than people who used the least social media.


The book shared many fascinating studies on positive and negative studies with the use of social media. The author encourages the reader to be more selective, positive and creative with our online lives.

[Leilani · Rating 4 out of 5]

Practical and informative! I appreciated the bite-size chapters and good blend of info about research and tips for applying it to your own life. The only reason I'm not marking it 5 stars is because it felt a tad repetitive; I got bored partway through. But the section about the Big 5 traits and how your personality affects how social media impacts you revived my interest. I took a lot of notes to refer back to later.

[Edt Garner · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were some insightful points in this book about how we don't have to flat out abandon social media but can instead be more mindful with how when and why we use it. I liked Brian's insight regarding how to make social media work for us and making me aware of the harmful consequences that come with mindlessly scrolling.

The writing got a bit boring and repetitive towards the latter half of the book but overall I felt like it eas a worthwhile read.

[Justice · Rating 4 out of 5]

Social media is a part of our lives whether we like it or not. This book examines how we use social media and provides recommendations on how to make social media the experience we want. In a world where mindless scrolling and hyper curated feeds seem to dominate, it’s nice to remember that you can make your social media experience work for you.

[Jonathan Weinkle · Rating 5 out of 5]

We all swear we're going to quit social media, transform it, or at least use it more responsibly. Brian Primack has done the research himself on exactly how this massive new environment affects us, and now shows how we can learn from that research to create a positive relationship with the virtual world.

[Diane Serenson-Ungar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book ! Very insightful and interesting! Besides learning the affects of social media on society and yourself, it also teaches how to learn to become positive!
The author is a great writer !!!

[Dave · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book. It should be standard reading for anyone using social media today, young OR old. Loved the idea of a pyramid for social media; selective, positive, and creative.

Also practicing mindful social media. Overall idea that you are in control.

[Jessa Franco · Rating 3 out of 5]

Books like this make me wish for half star ratings. I keep wobbling between 3 and 4, so a 3.5 would option would be nice.

I learned a bit about human behavior and have already tried implementing some of the suggestions. We will see how it goes!

[Joy Donohue · Rating 1 out of 5]

Very basic quick read. Nothing new to report. Bottom Line: keep social media at arm’s length, stay positive and practice daily gratitude. All Good Reminders

[Sara Goldenberg · Rating 3 out of 5]

Definitely one of the better books I've read recently.

[Jeff · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very informative view on healthy and productive utilization of social media. The BLUF = be particular.

[J G]

First finished book of the year after many duds!

[Jacque Mcgill · Rating 4 out of 5]

easy to read and comprehend, even a social media cynic like me found new and interesting ideas within. Relatable ideas backed up and proven by the author’s background as a doctor / academic.