Jump to ratings and reviews
Rate this book

The Cleremont Conjectures #1

How to Buy a Planet

Rate this book
The Earth has been sold to aliens. What could possibly go wrong?


It’s the Year 2024. Drowning in debt following the pandemic and facing ruin, the world's leaders have taken the only logical decision.

They’ve sold the planet.

When Toby, a penniless student, and his two new flatmates find out one morning on TV, they're surprised to find the Earth’s new alien owners are staggeringly cute and bring the promise of a debt-free future. They're just getting ready to celebrate along with the rest of the world, when a chance encounter with a mysterious professor reveals the truth. And there’s a glitch: the Earth is about to be destroyed.

With only 24 hours to avert the apocalypse, Toby’s flatmates - one paranoid, one gorgeous - drag him on an intergalactic adventure. Battling interplanetary bankers and pursued by pitiless assassins, the gang find that a deadly virus becomes their only chance of salvation.

Fresh, fun and fast-paced, How to Buy a Planet is the unforgettable tale of three students on an impossible quest to beat the system. If you're a fan of Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett, or sci-fi hero, Doctor Who, this is the must-read sci-fi novel of 2020.

437 pages, ebook

First published August 24, 2020

561 people are currently reading
691 people want to read

About the author

D.A. Holdsworth

3 books77 followers
Scorpio - resident of Oxfordshire - writer of political satire. In my first two novels the satire happened to emerge in the form of sci-fi - but next time, who knows. Could be fantasy, could be something else.

Am feeling a bit pigeon-holed by Goodreads, because I actually come on here for other people's books, not my own. Reviews are my hobby - reading yours, writing mine. I spend a silly amount of time on them - thinking about what I'm going to say, saying it, and then reflecting on what I've said. It's pointless work, but someone's gotta do it.

I'm a slow reader, so still working my way through the classics. I take 'em one at a time and try to wring out every concealed meaning, spotting all nine out of three things the author's hidden. I branch out occasionally into areas of personal interest. Books on trauma have been a big thing for me lately. Before that it was books on bankers (Why you may ask. Indeed.) Not sure what'll be next. Maybe travel.

Feel free to friend me. I enjoy interaction on GR and absolutely guarantee I won't ask you to review any of my own books or nonsense like that. Friend requests from other slow readers particularly welcome. We're rare as rubies here, we need to stick together.

Oh, and my ratings system. It's a bit unconventional:
⭐ I never give stars out in singles, they give authors a turn (even the ones in their grave)
⭐⭐ Ditto
⭐⭐⭐ Hasn't really impressed me, but okay.
⭐⭐⭐⭐Works nicely.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Hell yeah. This'll be anything from pretty-damn-good to thank-you-for-changing-my-life.

Books do change lives, don't they? It's been happening to me quite a lot lately.

Ratings & Reviews

What do you think?
Rate this book

Friends & Following

Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!

Community Reviews

5 stars
355 (29%)
4 stars
448 (37%)
3 stars
284 (23%)
2 stars
86 (7%)
1 star
25 (2%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 110 reviews
Profile Image for Kirsty Hendry.
58 reviews80 followers
September 17, 2021
Thank you to the author for the opportunity to read and review this book.

In the aftermath of the pandemic, the worlds leaders have taken drastic measures to reduce everyone's debt. They have decided to sell the planet.

When Toby and his flat mates find out, they are shocked at how adorable the alien who bought the planet is and that they say they will be able to create a debt free future. Just as they were about to celebrate, they meet a mysterious professor who reveals what is really going on. But there is a problem: the Earth is going to be wiped out.

What I liked about this book

A fast paced and entertaining story with lots of twists.

The concept is extremely original. I haven’t come across anything of its like before.

Within each chapter, the focus changes across characters to give a clear understanding of what is happening at the same time across different locations.

I particularly enjoyed reading the description of how the characters move between planets.

What I didn't like

I was sometimes confused by the banking terminology. I had to search the internet to understand what was being discussed.

I would have liked to understand a bit more about both Toby and Mrs B.

For some reason when I was reading this I kept picturing a young Simon Pegg and Nick Frost as Toby and Paranoid Dave? I would be interested in finding out what happens after this book finishes and how the world would cope. I would recommend this book to anyone who like sci-fi comedy.

3.75 stars
✮✮✮✭

Find this review and others on my blog
1 review7 followers
September 8, 2020
"How To Buy A Planet" is an entertaining and fast-moving science fiction adventure in the spirit of Douglas Adams from first-time novelist, D.A. Holdsworth.

Hapless student Toby learns that the Earth has been sold, and the new owners, staggeringly cute and full of promises about a glorious future, are not all that they seem. In fact, Toby and his flatmates only have twenty-four hours to save the Earth.

The novel is written with a sense of humour, fun, and wonder, but also with an underlying seriousness about the lies our leaders tell us. Like many first novels, the writing sometimes becomes distracted by its own ideas, but the whole is a promising ride.
4,418 reviews37 followers
March 12, 2021
One of my favourite plots.

Author freebie. Suitable for all ages.. Decidedly British. Now I myself have been working on d@d variant where evil space gnomes are setting up banks to buy the world. Great minds plot alike.
Profile Image for Dimitris Zisis.
188 reviews10 followers
February 25, 2025
This is a book Simon Pegg and Nick Frost would wrote xD

Typical British humor, a very original plot idea, and such a fun adventure!

Keep in mind that the story focuses mainly on four characters trying to save Earth after world leaders sell it to aliens who plan to turn it into their vacation planet. So, there aren’t many post-apocalyptic descriptions or global-scale events it’s more about the group’s journey rather than a broad look at what’s happening worldwide.

A great one-time read, and you’ll definitely enjoy it if you’re into this kind of quirky, humorous sci-fi vibe
20 reviews1 follower
October 10, 2020
The Earth is saved (by three flatmates)

I have said before in reviews that I do enjoy a good sci-fi comedy, but they are hard to come by. This book is certainly one of them, and I enjoyed every page. Like most stories of this sub-genre, the actual plot is less important than the antics of the protagonists, but here goes.

An intergalactic conman talks the world’s leaders into selling the Earth in return for paying of the entire planetary debt. Of course once it has been sold, the new owners plan to sell it off again, to be turned into a galactic holiday resort, a process that involves changing the climate and ultimately destroying the Earth. Discovering this minor unmentioned fact, our three heroes (or two heroes and one heroine) set out to foil the resale process and buy the Earth back, traveling across the galaxy with the aid of what amounts to a teleportation device (if somewhat old fashioned and just a little rusty), an elderly professor, his housekeeper and a hedgehog. How they go about saving the Earth would be too much of a spoiler, so you will have to read it yourself to find out that.

Well written, just slightly absurd (as it should be) and thoroughly enjoyable. The best I have read since Douglas Adams. I recommend it to anyone.
37 reviews1 follower
September 26, 2020
For fans of Douglas Adams and Richard Curtis

How to Buy a Planet is about an Everyman plus a Hairy Man plus an intelligent Hot Woman plus a Professor plus his Number Two who all work together to figure out how to buy a planet. It is not easy, not something that you can phone a friend about or Google. It is more complicated than that. It involves some chasing and following, some space travel, some communicating with aliens and plenty of problem solving.

This is DA Holdsworth’s debut novel. Holdsworth is clearly an intelligent person who knows a lot about a lot (his biography states that he has a background in finance). He appears to have had fun in developing his myriad of ideas; there are many genuine laugh out loud moments to be had. Satire and science fiction are used to entertainingly address serious contemporary issues.

However, at times some of these ideas can impact upon the narrative flow of the story or are not brought to a fulsome conclusion. The writing style also favours plot over charactisation.
Overall, an entertaining read and I look forward to reading more from this author.
Profile Image for Una.
218 reviews1 follower
November 1, 2020
I really enjoyed this, it reminds me of the Hitchhiker's Guide.

I did spot a few errors though, so only 4 stars - Eg incorrect words being used: breaking instead of braking, discrete instead of discreet.
And other errors - spelling, repeated words
29 reviews1 follower
October 19, 2020
Planet Earth is in crisis. The global pandemic was swiftly followed by a global financial meltdown and everybody now feels a bit glum to say the least. However, global leaders have a solution - they've sold Planet Earth and now have the means to wipe out global debt. We will lease the planet back from our new cute and cuddly alien overlords and live happily ever after!

That is at least what most of the human race believe and they've started to party like there's no tomorrow. What they don't know is that there actually may not be a tomorrow, not when the aliens get their hands on the planet. They plan on altering the climate to make earth a galactic holiday resort but the downside of the process is that it'll make it uninhabitable within 3-5 years.

Step up Arthur Dent, erm I mean penniless student Toby, and his new flatmates. Together with a bumbling professor, his Scottish housekeeper and a hedgehog, they must come up with a plan to buy back the planet and save us all from catastrophe.

I saw this book advertised on social media and was immediately drawn to it from the description. Comparisons to Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy are well-founded; it has the same sense of wacky humour and characters feeling like a fish-out-of-water on a galactic scale. The plot moves along at a fast pace, but it's very easy to keep up, and it's littered with great comedic moments that made me laugh out loud multiple times. This is contrasted to great effect with the serious points regarding politics and finance that the book manages to make.

I'm not sure whether the author wrote this at breakneck speed during lockdown or was fortunate enough to have already been working on the idea but the use of the pandemic as a plot device was a stroke of genius. It acknowledges what we're all going through but in such a quirky way that you can't help but laugh; a great tonic to lockdown.

As you would expect with a novel of this genre the plot comes out on top against characterisation. However overall the main characters are adequately-developed with good story arcs and the comic-relief is provided beautifully by an incompetent top-secret black-ops team and hilarious not-at-all-accurate portrayals of various world leaders

The only negative I have with this book is that it's a first novel and it shows. There are points where better editing would have been beneficial as some sentences don't really make sense. However you can always easily decipher what the author meant and it didn't spoil my enjoyment of the book.

Overall a great first novel from an author I hope to see more from in the future.
9 reviews
November 16, 2021
Ok, I'm thinking Keanu Reeves

When you start thinking what actors you want to play what parts you know it's a good book. I know Keanu is not British but everything else about David Pendregon Smith aka Dave fits him perfectly. You do first of Dirk Gently, but I like this better. I love British humor but a lot of times it can get a bit risque, D.A. Holdsworth doesn't, a humongous thank you for that.
Profile Image for Popup-ch.
899 reviews24 followers
November 25, 2020
The author tries very hard to channel Douglas Adams spirit - and it mostly works. It's not quite as laugh-out-loud funny as Hitchhikers Guide, but it's enjoyable nevertheless.

After a world-wide pandemic and a financial crisis, a group of world leaders have decided to do the only responsible thing available - sell the planet to a group of extraterrestrials with a lease-back option.

With some help from a friendly professor, who just happens to know everything and who pops up whenever he's needed, a small band of friends venture out into the universe to get their planet back.

In some ways it's very grounded in 2020, and the criticism of the 'masters of the universe' of interplanetary finance is a not-very-subtle criticism of modern Wall-street bankers here on earth.
Profile Image for Sinead.
25 reviews
February 6, 2021
Great fun adventure story with lovely characters, enjoyable scifi themes, and justified finger pointing at those individuals intent on destroying the planet from various angles. Highly recommended for a welcome distraction from the 'you know what'.
Profile Image for Bonnie Dale Keck.
4,677 reviews58 followers
February 19, 2021
Kindle unlimited

Very unusual, but hard to understand but saying that as American, had to translate a few things in my mind but not a lot, I do watch such shows as doctor who, red dwarf, anything with attenborough, Norton, etc.
Profile Image for David Green.
23 reviews1 follower
February 3, 2021
Great book. Really offbeat... very funny! Dry humour. Some really interesting ideas about space-time travel and global (galactic?) finances. One you get into it the book is hard to put down. It is fast paced and very well written... great dialogue as well.
I loved it.
2 reviews
March 15, 2021
Excellent read. Great plot and thoroughly believable characters, read it when it first came out; read it again this week - even better second time around!
Profile Image for Amy Judd.
61 reviews3 followers
Read
August 15, 2022
This was cute! Reminded me a little of John Scalzi and Douglas Adams with a dusting of Madeleine L’Engle.
Profile Image for Diana Sherif.
19 reviews
January 9, 2025
"But you know what? Before we get too angry
with them, let's remember this about the Za-
Nakarians. They were only planning on doing to
the Earth what we're already doing. Just a bit
faster."
Profile Image for Cupcakencorset.
657 reviews17 followers
August 26, 2021
So much (thoughtful) fun!

I can see and appreciate where the comparisons to Douglas Adams come from, but this book is its own animal. I loved the characters and how the author used their complementary skills to solve a seemingly unsolvable set of problems, while leading us all on a madcap adventure through race. I loved it!
Profile Image for Karen JH.
92 reviews4 followers
February 5, 2024
Great book! It’s a quirky, humorous, science fiction story in the spirit of Douglas Adams and Dr. Who. It’s decidedly British and with lots of observational humour. It’s set in a post pandemic world and also carries some very real messages about our current approach to life to reflect on. Would recommend!
Profile Image for Michelle.
193 reviews
December 28, 2020
Loved it

This is a great story from a good author. I really enjoyed it and had to go look outside to make sure it wasn’t real. Hope to read more from Mr. Holdworth
2 reviews
January 11, 2021
Absolutely bonkers, but I loved it. I'm a huge sci fi fan and I love satire, so to find the two in one hugely enjoyable book was just great. Brightened up my Christmas no end. I look forward to this authors next publication.
Profile Image for Rhane.
502 reviews3 followers
December 19, 2020
A tour de force of world building

While telling an exciting tale of finance, interstellar travel, friendship and how hard it is to talk sense to power, this book entertains a d educates. How can you ask for more?
29 reviews
November 17, 2021
Good book, good plot

Toby becomes a nondescript hero by ….Don’t want to give the plot away completely. Let’s just say it’s a space opera that’s fun. How do you save the Earth after it’s been sold to another planet and the terraforming is about to begin. Can 3 very different young people pull off the biggest scam in history? Read and find out. I had fun, I hope you do too.
Profile Image for Ian Gill.
17 reviews6 followers
November 8, 2021
A True Comic Sci-fi Page Turner!

I loved it! Great story, wonderful characters. Strangers become good friends in this fast-paced tale of unlikely heroes out on a romp across the Universe, trying to save an endangered Earth from Intergalactic villains. Politics, cool aliens of many stripes, and filled with humor that had me chuckling time and time again. I highly recommend this book.
759 reviews14 followers
April 28, 2021
A SIMPLE MAN'S REVIEW:

This could have been another book within the The Hitchhiker's Guide series! It was funny, silly, thoughtful, and timely (and British). Plus, this may be the first book I've read that mentions Covid within the storyline.

So the Earth gets sold, but then what? The story is a fast-paced, fun read about a group of people (and a hedgehog) trying to get it back. There's the obvious discussion of the problems with unfettered capitalism and you might even learn a bit about the financial market - but not in a boring way. It's super entertaining and quick read -

Read it!

422 reviews3 followers
January 25, 2021
Very good for a first!

Not often that a comedy with a serious message can pull it off without killing the comedy. This one did fine!
96 reviews2 followers
September 30, 2020
What a hoot.

This is hilarious. There's probably some deep meaningful things regarding finance and politics but. I was too busy laughing.
Well-rounded characters, brilliantly written, reminded me of a certain television programs (two words, first of two letters and second of three letters) in many places, can't say more without introducing spoilers.
Well done, can't wait for the next book.
Profile Image for Andrea Johnson.
44 reviews1 follower
September 29, 2020
Great story!

This book reads like a mash-up of "Hitchhiker's Guide" and a Simon Pegg movie, and it's excellent! Full of adventures and shenanigans; I couldn't put it down. The ride was like a roller-coaster going through a fun house. There's just too much going on for me to explain, or even summarize. You'll just have to read it for yourself.
Profile Image for Timothy Hilgenberg.
29 reviews
December 31, 2020
I bought it because it sounded like something akin to the hitchhiker's guide to the universe... and in a way it is. It kept me entertained and while some of the plot was predictable, it was so in a way that made it fun. It's a great read and if recommended it to those who like sci-fi with a twinkle.
Profile Image for Beverly Fuqua.
871 reviews7 followers
October 5, 2021
This book was totally bonkers, and I mean that in a good way. I can't even begin to summarize it, there is just too much rattling around in my head. Just, the good guys (and ladies) win, the bad aliens lose, and they had a hilarious time doing it!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 110 reviews

Can't find what you're looking for?

Get help and learn more about the design.