To Be or Not to Be Intimidated?

by Robert J. Ringer

In candid terms the book explains what intimidation is, why you become intimidated, and how you can avoid the mental lapses that can cause even the most successful people to sometimes fall victim to intimidation.

Genres: Business, Psychology, Personal Development

240 pages, Paperback

First published February 1, 2002

Reviews

[Katya Kean · Rating 4 out of 5]

A much better title than the first edition, "Winning Through Intimidation", which was misleading but an effective marketing title. It should be called "Winning despite Intimidation".

It's nice to read about another shy geeky person who is trying to figure it all out as an adult in the world of business, where there are still a few bullies.

When someone tries to intimidate me even as a grownup, I get flashbacks of trying to get an admittance of truth out of my childhood bully and getting the angry warning "You better watch it", and being successfully shushed by someone so much more powerful and less naive.

This is a story about how the author (the tortoise) wins against the intimidating hares of the world. It's about learning the rules of the game, and not taking the game or the players' opinions of you too seriously, neither listening too eagarly to flattery or criticism, but to rather to understand the players and take care of yourself.

I had one client knowingly not pay me for a year, and then die in an unfortunate motorcycle accident, which will make it all but impossible for me to get paid by his company, despite my documentaion. That experience taught me that it doesn't matter how seemingly sweet a person is, I need to secure both a contract, and at least a partial payment, up front, before I invest time and money in the work.

[Eliot · Rating 5 out of 5]

Almost didn't make it through the opening chapter because of cynical tone and author bashing positive mental attitude theory, but had heard good things and was curious about where he was going. The book is mis-titled, as it is more about selling, contracting, negotiating, deal making and *getting paid.*. He goes through many real estate deals blow blow and it is pretty interesting stuff if you like elephant hunting.

[Ryan Coons · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a revised edition of Ringer's earlier classic "Winning Through Intimidation," released under a new title.

[Scott Mckinney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Robert Ringer explains the various types of ways people use intimidation to get their way in the often vicious business world, and shows how to counteract them, in this entertaining and informative read.

Ringer, who takes on the character of a Tortoise in this book, worked as a real estate broker in the 70's. He describes this experience as studying at "Screw U", since many of the people he interacted with - his "professors" - were proficient and adapt at finding ways to trick him during deals. He took the lessons as they came and developed ways for him to get his fair share during his work - and in this book presents them for our usage.

I found myself laughing uncontrollably at some of the encounters Ringer had - he's self-deprecating and manages to find humour in situations that would leave many feeling bitter and humiliated - and uses these incidents as ways to explain his philosophy.

He went on to develop this philosophy of englightened, action-oriented individualism - in his later works, which I also enjoyed.

So if - like me - you have ever been "schooled" by "professors" at Screw U - you'll probably learn a lot from this book, will probably find yourself laughing at how the encounters Ringer had, and will certainly finish with a better understanding of this jungle of a world.

[Joe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review: “To Be or Not to Be Intimidated?” by Robert Ringer

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Robert Ringer’s To Be or Not to Be Intimidated? is an essential guide for anyone navigating the often ruthless “business jungle.” Ringer delivers practical, no-nonsense advice on how to protect your position, ensure you get what you’re owed, and maintain your confidence in high-pressure environments.

The book shines a light on the unspoken realities of business, teaching you how to recognise and deal with intimidation tactics while standing your ground. What sets it apart is Ringer’s ability to combine sharp insights with actionable strategies. From understanding the motives of others to mastering negotiation and positioning yourself as indispensable, the advice is both empowering and eye-opening.

This isn’t just a book about survival—it’s about thriving in a competitive world and ensuring your efforts are properly recognised and rewarded. Ringer’s principles are timeless and can be applied to almost any professional scenario. Highly recommended for anyone who wants to sharpen their business instincts and secure their success.

[Matt · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ringer's a character. This book is as fun(ny) as it is informative. Make no mistake, though Ringer's stories are about his life as a real estate broker, the lessons here apply for anyone who has to negotiate a jungle full of self-interested, if not outright predatory, human beings. In business, at work, maybe even down at the PTA meeting... you need to understand the realities of the game when there's a prize on the table.

Highly recommended, especially for anyone who falls into the "nice guy/girl" trap. There's what you'd like, what ought to be...and then there's how things are. If you aren't prepared for the latter, then none of the idealism matters.

[Chip Cook · Rating 5 out of 5]

Scary stuff in here, just like a suspense novel, only no one gets shot at.

This is one of those books that you re-read and think about at least once a year. The Friday after Thanksgiving is a good one.

Your bungles of the past year zip through your mind as its days dwindle down to a precious few. Unless you are dripping with self-esteem, you had at least one instance of soul-mangling at the hands of a person who intimidated you.

So, work on your anti-soul-mangling skills by re-reading and re-thinking this book at least once a year.

[Stan Rea · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is sort of a re-read for me. I read the original version of this book (Winning Through Intimidation) several years ago. I actually own the book. Now I own both. Regardless, this is an interesting book to read for those in any kind of business. The author's background is in real estate so all his illustrations are from real estate deals. But there are a lot of good lessons about preparation and attitude in any sort of business environment.

[Carle Aldrete · Rating 4 out of 5]

A friend gave me this book years ago and I really wish that I had read it then. Now it's more relatable than helpful because I can look back and recall my education at Screw U, pinpoint the professors that intimidated me and understand how that shaped my career.

The part I am enjoying most is the post-grad evolution where he decides what he isn't going to waste his time on anymore and the power of a good brochure. LOL - print will never die.

[Mel Woods · Rating 4 out of 5]

A quick read with some good take-aways.

[William Beldham · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not useful.

[Jeffrey Poston · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very educational book. At first, I was unwilling to believe someone would or could write a whole book on the intimidation tactics that professionals use to attempt to dominate their peers. As I read this book, I realized that those things that people do that put you on edge or make you feel uncomfortable are real, and they are intentional. Over the years I've learned to recognize these tactics when people (mostly men) try to use them on me in negotiations. I applied this book to my real estate career, but I highly recommend every sales professional read this book as your first line of defense to prevent being taken advantage of in the combat arena of sales or negotiation.

[PJ Murray · Rating 4 out of 5]

Have been sitting on this one for a while and finally bashed it out.

A quick read it has some good fundamental principles on how to win at the negotiation game, taken from the perspective of a real estate agents battle to success.

[Collen Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book on posturing.

[Frank Healy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book teaches you how not to be intimidated from the inside out. Your attitude with then influence your behavior. It also dissolves any logic that rationalizes intimidation.