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Living While Black: The Essential Guide to Overcoming Racial Trauma
'Revelatory, necessary and brilliant' Candice Carty-Williams | 'A must read ' Robin DiAngelo | 'A powerful wake-up call' Patrick Vernon | 'An incisive and important book that will change the way you think ' Nikesh Shukla | 'An unmissable read for everyone' Julia Samuel | 'Honest, razor-sharp, f ascinating and impressive' The Psychologist | 'Groundbreaking' Bad Form
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For the past 15 years, radical psychologist and therapist Guilaine Kinouani has helped hundreds of Black people to protect their mental and physical health from the harm of white supremacy. In this timely book, she brings together powerful case studies, eye-opening research and effective coping techniques from her anti-racist academy and award-nominated blog, Race Reflections, helping readers
- set psychological boundaries and process trauma
- protect children from racism
- handle difficult race-based conversations
- understand the complexities of 'Black love'
- find connection, beauty and joy in the world
Living While Black empowers you to adopt radical self-care tools that improve day-to-day wellness. It teaches you how to thrive not just survive and find hope - or even joy - in the face of racial adversity. It is also an essential anti-racist resource for allies who want to do better.
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For the past 15 years, radical psychologist and therapist Guilaine Kinouani has helped hundreds of Black people to protect their mental and physical health from the harm of white supremacy. In this timely book, she brings together powerful case studies, eye-opening research and effective coping techniques from her anti-racist academy and award-nominated blog, Race Reflections, helping readers
- set psychological boundaries and process trauma
- protect children from racism
- handle difficult race-based conversations
- understand the complexities of 'Black love'
- find connection, beauty and joy in the world
Living While Black empowers you to adopt radical self-care tools that improve day-to-day wellness. It teaches you how to thrive not just survive and find hope - or even joy - in the face of racial adversity. It is also an essential anti-racist resource for allies who want to do better.
256 pages, Paperback
Published June 3, 2021
41 people are currently reading
1470 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews
July 9, 2021
Thank you Guilaine for this incredible resource. Eloquently written and desperately needed.
"Speak not, we are told, but if you must speak, speak gently. Cry not, but if you must cry, cry silently. Write not, but if you must write, write impersonally. Exist not, but if you must exist, be as invisible as you can be. Take up as little space as you can take. Let us not see you, let us not hear you, and let us forget you exist because your existence reminds us of who we are."
"Speak not, we are told, but if you must speak, speak gently. Cry not, but if you must cry, cry silently. Write not, but if you must write, write impersonally. Exist not, but if you must exist, be as invisible as you can be. Take up as little space as you can take. Let us not see you, let us not hear you, and let us forget you exist because your existence reminds us of who we are."
June 22, 2021
The most refreshing writing on shame and resistance I have ever read. Plus includes the most generous and bold tools for reflection, self-care and action planning. Recommend.
February 7, 2022
Transformative, enlightening, cathartic.
Forever changed.
Forever changed.
August 11, 2023
Excellent book, written in a digestible way, drawing on studies and personal experience, and providing tangible tools, resources and activities. I have purchased a hard copy to share with my students now as well.
May 30, 2022
Especially loved the parts about Black joy, resistance and healing
October 26, 2021
Guilaine Kinouani studied psychology for seven years and never once received a lecture on the impact of racism on mental health. Wow! This book begins to correct the wrongs: no more denying that both personal and structural racism are damaging to mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health.
She writes with just the right mix (for me) of righteous anger and calm simple direct telling it like it is, with a very helpful set of practical self-help questions and activities included.
I am so grateful that she is still in touch with her Congolese African heritage, and that her view feels so global - grew up in France, based now in the UK, and drawing on but not overwhelmed by US data. She provides a balance to the US-centric perspective on similar problems in Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents.
What she documents is both the racial trauma and a set of very practical ways to address the trauma, including self healing, speaking out and resistance to systemic racism. Chapter by chapter, she works through from the big picture of Being Black, through Black Minds, Black Shame, Black Bodies, Raising Black Children, Working While Black, Black Love, Black Resistance and Thriving While Black.
Even though I am not black, I found the self help questions and tips she offered super-useful ways to address the way systemic racism and inequity have affected my own mental health and humanity.
The book is also wonderfully up to date, quoting lots of research from 2019 and 2020, and full of challenges to common fallacies, such as Josh Levs' research that "shows that most Black fathers do in fact live with their children."
And for people in the UK and Europe, where it seems fashionable to claim they are in a post-racial society, she firmly debunks the myth:
It is time for the UK and Europe to wake up to the violence that is done to people of colour who have to basically pretend to be white in order to get by in these societies.
She also has fresh thoughts about the way we are addressing systemic racism in many organisations:
This for me is very important. There are so many privileged people I know who are trying to kind of sanitise their language of personal racism, and feeling defensive "I am not racist" instead of facing up to the systemic racism that continues to allocate opportunity and privilege unfairly according to skin colour.
Equally important and not so common in the mainstream is her caution about black people trying to be superhuman to overcome systemic racism:
So many black people I know are spread dangerously thin. I think the pressure comes from white people hungry for black excellence. I also believe that already-excellent black people are constantly harried by the sense of "not doing enough" against the huge weight of racism and the pain and suffering it causes. Kinouani comes with the balm of self compassion, not carrying all this on your shoulders.
She ends with several important universal truths:
* We are all trying to figure out how to navigate racism
* The function, the profoundly serious function, of racism is distraction. It keeps you from doing your work. It keeps you explaining, repeatedly, your reason for being. [from Toni Morrison]
* Racism causes us to disconnect at multiple levels.
This all resonates deeply with me. As a white person I continue to struggle with navigating systemic racism. It has been a huge energy drain for me and all the people around me. And I am crystal clear that the one part of racism that negatively impacts all races is the profoundly dehumanising disconnection it creates.
Guilaine Kinouani describes the issues with compassionate clarity and calls us to action with practical guidance. I am grateful and inspired.
Psychotherapy and mental health services continue to struggle to work with racism; in fact it often reproduces it. Mindlessly. The reality is this: if you are Black and those you seek support from are unwilling to look at racism and the trauma it inflicts, these individuals or systems are simply unwilling to look you in the eye.
She writes with just the right mix (for me) of righteous anger and calm simple direct telling it like it is, with a very helpful set of practical self-help questions and activities included.
I am so grateful that she is still in touch with her Congolese African heritage, and that her view feels so global - grew up in France, based now in the UK, and drawing on but not overwhelmed by US data. She provides a balance to the US-centric perspective on similar problems in Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents.
What she documents is both the racial trauma and a set of very practical ways to address the trauma, including self healing, speaking out and resistance to systemic racism. Chapter by chapter, she works through from the big picture of Being Black, through Black Minds, Black Shame, Black Bodies, Raising Black Children, Working While Black, Black Love, Black Resistance and Thriving While Black.
Even though I am not black, I found the self help questions and tips she offered super-useful ways to address the way systemic racism and inequity have affected my own mental health and humanity.
The book is also wonderfully up to date, quoting lots of research from 2019 and 2020, and full of challenges to common fallacies, such as Josh Levs' research that "shows that most Black fathers do in fact live with their children."
And for people in the UK and Europe, where it seems fashionable to claim they are in a post-racial society, she firmly debunks the myth:
the illusionary and implicit promise by white structures that Black people can escape the consequences of their Otherness by disowning their ‘difference’. Their Blackness.
[And]White institutions may go out of their way to recruit ‘BME and Black candidates’ or to attract ‘difference’, and so while once such (racial) difference enters the workplace, if it does at all, the expectation is usually that it must dress itself in whiteness.
It is time for the UK and Europe to wake up to the violence that is done to people of colour who have to basically pretend to be white in order to get by in these societies.
She also has fresh thoughts about the way we are addressing systemic racism in many organisations:
The Diversity & Inclusion industry’s love affair with unconscious bias has done extraordinarily little to make workplaces less discriminatory places for Black people. It is arguably doing more harm than good by taking the focus away from structural racism and from more complex unconscious dynamics.
This for me is very important. There are so many privileged people I know who are trying to kind of sanitise their language of personal racism, and feeling defensive "I am not racist" instead of facing up to the systemic racism that continues to allocate opportunity and privilege unfairly according to skin colour.
Equally important and not so common in the mainstream is her caution about black people trying to be superhuman to overcome systemic racism:
We cannot work our way out of white supremacy. We cannot excel our way out of racism. The pressure that keeps us striving to do so is racism.
So many black people I know are spread dangerously thin. I think the pressure comes from white people hungry for black excellence. I also believe that already-excellent black people are constantly harried by the sense of "not doing enough" against the huge weight of racism and the pain and suffering it causes. Kinouani comes with the balm of self compassion, not carrying all this on your shoulders.
She ends with several important universal truths:
* We are all trying to figure out how to navigate racism
* The function, the profoundly serious function, of racism is distraction. It keeps you from doing your work. It keeps you explaining, repeatedly, your reason for being. [from Toni Morrison]
* Racism causes us to disconnect at multiple levels.
This all resonates deeply with me. As a white person I continue to struggle with navigating systemic racism. It has been a huge energy drain for me and all the people around me. And I am crystal clear that the one part of racism that negatively impacts all races is the profoundly dehumanising disconnection it creates.
Guilaine Kinouani describes the issues with compassionate clarity and calls us to action with practical guidance. I am grateful and inspired.
July 8, 2021
A powerful practical book full of insights and actionable points .
October 15, 2021
Reflective and insightful
November 1, 2021
Incredible book. Would recommend to everyone.
November 18, 2021
Eye open book much be read or listen too.
December 29, 2022
3.5/5
I pricked this book from my library during black history month (October) and it is a good book with excellent research and shared experiences. This is a good follow up if you’ve read Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race .
The author puts things into perspective and guides the reader (especially black people) navigating life being black. Also practise reflective notes and spaces to write out . It feels like Both a journal, history and black psychology lesson in one book.
I pricked this book from my library during black history month (October) and it is a good book with excellent research and shared experiences. This is a good follow up if you’ve read Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race .
The author puts things into perspective and guides the reader (especially black people) navigating life being black. Also practise reflective notes and spaces to write out . It feels like Both a journal, history and black psychology lesson in one book.
August 9, 2023
Although I'm not the target audience, I found this book very helpful - as well as useful explorations of Black experience and perspectives, Kinouani is a clear writer and her explanations of general concepts such as trauma were informative. Her thoughts on spirituality as resistance and to support mental health, without accepting colonizing uses of religion, were especially interesting to me.
May 17, 2022
Essential reading…
for any clinician doing race trauma work with their client group.
Very informative and lots of exercises and interventions to assist in the healing work necessary to deal with the psychological onslaught of racism in today’s society.
for any clinician doing race trauma work with their client group.
Very informative and lots of exercises and interventions to assist in the healing work necessary to deal with the psychological onslaught of racism in today’s society.
May 24, 2022
Probably the most important book I've read on racial trauma. It's a practical guide/handbook on both awareness raising and how to address the abuse that black and minoritised people daily. Highly recommended!
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December 16, 2022No Rating - NonFiction
May 9, 2023
This book is a helpful resource for thriving despite racial trauma, especially the Psychological Tools at the back. I'd love to see a sequel that walks the reader through utilizing those tools.
September 7, 2023
Truly transformative and deeply moving for a white person who will never wrap his brain around racism, and trauma. Powerful.
January 17, 2024
An incredible book that takes you on a journey of introspection.
April 27, 2025
It was a very enjoyable read. Eye opening and informative.
June 23, 2025
a stunning reflection of what it means to be living whilst black. important and timely. I'm so glad I got to read this book and particularly enjoyed creating a radical self care plan at the end.
July 2, 2025
just WOW!
August 15, 2022
An excellent and thought provoking book, which I’ll definitely return to. Guilaine’s writing is sharp, critical and urgent as she examines what it means to live in and navigate this world as a Black person
Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews