Reading this was such a pleasure. Dan Crenshaw shares his story and the lessons that he’s learned along the way.
Most of us already know that Crenshaw served in the Navy SEALS and that he’s now a member of Congress. I didn’t know that when he was five and his brother was only one, his mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. I cannot even begin to imagine how difficult that must have been. Despite all her suffering, his mother’s courage and spirit are nothing short of examples as to how to be. She passed away when he was ten.
This book is not really a political book. It’s a beautiful and timely reminder to the reader to build mental fortitude and resilience, to take responsibility for one’s life, and to avoid being ruled by our emotions.
Here are some of my favorite quotes. They don't all fit into my review, so hopefully, they'll show at the bottom of this page.
America
“While our own citizens burn our flag or sneer at our pledge of allegiance, millions of people around the world would do anything to be here. America is a place of opportunity for individuals willing to seize it, and that fact is still well known around the world, even if our own population is increasingly ignorant of it. Our country consistently ranks as the number one destination for all immigrants, when asked where they would go if given a choice. Germany, at second place, isn’t even close.”
Constitution
“As John Adams said, ‘Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.’”
Freedom
“Pure freedom is chaos, anarchy, and moral decay. Freedom to do what you like—without any moral compass—can quickly result in the temptation to indulge in habits that may feel good momentarily but are wholly detrimental to yourself and others. Pure freedom detached from a higher sense of purpose results at best in overindulgence, lack of discipline, unfaithful relationships, and some minor drug use. At worst, it can result in the total deterioration of a society as moral relativism takes hold and humanity’s darkest proclivities become justified in the name of ‘doing what we like.’ Ordered liberty is at the heart of our founding, not pure freedom. Ordered liberty is the understanding that law exists to prevent individuals from infringing on the inalienable rights of others.”
Government
“Government does not exist to end your suffering; it exists in order to create the proper structure, based on equality and justice, so that you may pursue your own happiness.”
Hardship
“You have control over your thoughts, and your thoughts are more powerful than you may realize. Healthy habits create a healthy mind, and a healthy mind creates healthy people. Doing something hard is the habit of building mental calluses so that when life happens, you are better prepared for it.
In prior generations, this lesson would not have been necessary. Life was harder then. Today, the miracle of modernity, relative peace, and the pursuit of creature comforts has made hardship a rarer thing.”
Helicopter Parenting
“Helicopter parenting, the incessant micromanagement of a child’s activities, has created a generation of people who rarely experience conflict or traumatic situations, and as a result they are more prone to emotional overreactions.”
Humility
“You want to be humble. This can mean a lot of things, so let’s be a little specific. You say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ often, and practice the good manners that are a timeless doctrine of civil society. You do not expect people to do things for you that you can do yourself. You put your shopping cart away instead of leaving it in the parking lot, for instance. You have confidence but it isn’t overbearing.”
Journalism
“It has grown terribly difficult to separate objective journalism from opinion journalism. Back in the days when evening news anchor Walter Cronkite was considered ‘the most trusted man in America,’ there was a well-defined separation between news and opinion. Today they have bled into each other. This exacerbates division and resentment. Whereas we have long understood that Fox News leans right and MSNBC leans left, the rest of the news networks still try to pass themselves off as objective nonpartisans. This frustrates conservatives the most, since networks like CNN still proclaim to be ‘just the facts’ or ‘news analysis,’ when in fact most hosts persistently engage in left-leaning opinion journalism. It is no wonder that trust in mass media has been edging lower and lower over the past twenty years, down to 41 percent in September 2019, according to Gallup.”
Personal Responsibility
“The basic message is this: If you’re losing your cool, you are losing. If you are triggered, it is because you allowed someone else to dictate your emotional state. If you are outraged, it is because you lack discipline and self-control. These are personal defeats, not the fault of anyone else. And each defeat shapes who you are as a person, and in the collective sense, who we are as a people.”
Public Opinion
“… the angriest and most passionate voices, start to be rewarded by public opinion. This phenomenon is clearly observed in mainstream and social media. Consider the following comparison, for instance. After sixteen-year-old climate activist Greta Thunberg made her landmark UN speech in 2019, media attention soared. While her efforts and sense of initiative were undeniably impressive, especially for a teenager, the fact remains that her credentials on the subject were nonexistent, and her scowling message offered no practical solutions whatsoever. Compare her accomplishments to another young environmentalist named Boyan Slat, who doesn’t make passionate speeches or hurl angry slogans, but did design a revolutionary ocean cleanup system that captures debris ranging from one-ton ghost nets to tiny microplastics. At the time of this writing, a quick Google search shows 69 million search results for Greta, and just over 500,000 for Boyan. Greta was named ‘Person of the Year’ by Time magazine. Boyan was not.”
Sense of Humor
“I fear we are in danger of losing this ability to laugh off the small stuff, and we are even closer to losing the ability to laugh at the big stuff. Comedians like Jerry Seinfeld and Chris Rock no longer perform on college campuses. Why? The PC culture has driven comedians away. In a 2015 interview, Seinfeld observed: ‘They just want to use these words: That’s racist. That’s sexist. That’s prejudice,’” he said. ‘They don’t know what the hell they’re talking about.’ Comedians are worried that they’ll offend an overly sensitive generation of students looking for any reason to be offended. This is deeply unfortunate, and not just for the sake of comedy.”
Sense of Shame
“… the more immune you are to a healthy sense of shame, the more susceptible you are to contributing to big cultural problems: the outrage mob and the extreme response of shamelessness.”
Stoicism
“Run down the list of those who felt intense anger at something: the most famous, the most unfortunate, the most hated, the most whatever: Where is all that now? Smoke, dust, legend…or not even a legend. Think of all the examples. And how trivial the things we want so passionately are. An emotional response is a human response, I get it. I too have succumbed to emotion, more often than I care to admit. But it is also a futile response. It isn’t an objectively beneficial response. This is central to Stoicism.”
Suffering
“Carl Jung, the renowned psychologist, summed it up: ‘The foundation of all mental illness is the avoidance of true suffering.’”
Unjust Accusation
“When we think back to our heroes, do we look up to someone who engages in strong discourse and pushes back against unjust accusation? Or do we value someone who gives in to unjust accusations immediately just to get the accusers off their back?”
Venting/Sweat the Small Stuff
“Sweating the small stuff is OK, but exercise your complaints lightheartedly. Seek out humor in your whining. Be humble. Be self-aware. If you allow yourself to sweat the small stuff—and I think you should—then you also must force yourself to be detail oriented. If you allow yourself to sweat the small stuff, then you must try your hardest not to sweat the big stuff. That’s the deal we are making in this chapter. I will declare that it is acceptable to complain every once in a while, and you will agree to do it only with the small stuff and not the big stuff. I am giving this advice because venting is extremely healthy. And it is also good practice for self-awareness. Venting about the little things provides you with perspective on how silly and unproductive complaining really is. At the same time, we should recognize that pent-up frustration can have real consequences and be detrimental to our mental health. I firmly believe that allowing yourself the space to complain every once in a while about the little things frees up mental bandwidth to deal with more consequential life events. It is a frustration-release valve.”
Victimhood Mentality
“… a culture characterized by grit, discipline, and self-reliance is a culture that survives. A culture characterized by self-pity, indulgence, outrage, and resentment is a culture that falls apart. It really is that simple, and it is a truly existential choice.”
Your Purpose
“You have purpose in this life. God has you here for a reason. You may not know it, but He does. Your job is to find it. No one else can. You need to understand that your purpose may be great in the eyes of the world, or it may be commonplace and seemingly small. Your purpose might be your family, your children. Your purpose might be tutoring a child and changing their life. Your purpose might be the business you started. Your purpose might be cleaning up your block. Your purpose might be in the help you give others. Your purpose might be in the example you set. Only you and God know. Only you and God need to know. Search until you find it—and until then, act as if you have it, because you’re wasting time otherwise. ‘You were designed to use your reason and your natural gifts—and to cultivate those assets toward fulfillment of a higher end,’ as my friend Ben Shapiro writes.”