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You Be Mother
What do you do, when you find the perfect family, and it's not yours? A charming, funny and irresistible novel about families, friendship and tiny little white lies.
The only thing Abi ever wanted was a proper family. So when she falls pregnant by an Australian exchange student in London, she cannot pack up her old life in Croydon fast enough, to start all over in Sydney and make her own family. It is not until she arrives, with three-week-old Jude in tow, that Abi realises Stu is not quite ready to be a father after all. And he is the only person she knows in this hot, dazzling, confusing city, where the job of making friends is turning out to be harder than she thought. That is, until she meets Phyllida, her wealthy, charming, imperious older neighbour, and they become almost like mother and daughter. If only Abi had not told Phil that teeny tiny small lie, the very first day they met…
Imagine the warmth of Monica McInerney, the excruciating awkwardness of Offspring and the wit of Liane Moriarty, all rolled into one delightful, warm, funny and totally endearing novel about families – the ones we have, and the ones we want – and the stories we tell ourselves about them. 'Rare and delightful ... a beautifully crafted novel about female relationships. I couldn't put this book down.' Clare Press, Fashion Editor-at-large, Marie Claire 'You Be Mother is the kind of book you pick up...and never want to put down ... you will fall in love with this book.' Lauren Sams, author of She's Having Her Baby
The only thing Abi ever wanted was a proper family. So when she falls pregnant by an Australian exchange student in London, she cannot pack up her old life in Croydon fast enough, to start all over in Sydney and make her own family. It is not until she arrives, with three-week-old Jude in tow, that Abi realises Stu is not quite ready to be a father after all. And he is the only person she knows in this hot, dazzling, confusing city, where the job of making friends is turning out to be harder than she thought. That is, until she meets Phyllida, her wealthy, charming, imperious older neighbour, and they become almost like mother and daughter. If only Abi had not told Phil that teeny tiny small lie, the very first day they met…
Imagine the warmth of Monica McInerney, the excruciating awkwardness of Offspring and the wit of Liane Moriarty, all rolled into one delightful, warm, funny and totally endearing novel about families – the ones we have, and the ones we want – and the stories we tell ourselves about them. 'Rare and delightful ... a beautifully crafted novel about female relationships. I couldn't put this book down.' Clare Press, Fashion Editor-at-large, Marie Claire 'You Be Mother is the kind of book you pick up...and never want to put down ... you will fall in love with this book.' Lauren Sams, author of She's Having Her Baby
448 pages, Paperback
First published August 21, 2017
559 people are currently reading
14200 people want to read
About the author
Meg Mason
8 books1,938 followersMeg Mason began her career at the Financial Times and The Times of London. Her work has since appeared in The Sunday Times, The Sydney Morning Herald and The Sunday Telegraph. She has written humour for The New Yorker and Sunday STYLE, was a GQ columnist for five years and a regular contributor to Vogue, marie claire, and ELLE.
Her first book Say It Again in a Nice Voice (HarperCollins), a memoir of early motherhood, was published in 2012. Her novel You Be Mother (HarperCollins) followed in 2017. She lives in Sydney.
Her first book Say It Again in a Nice Voice (HarperCollins), a memoir of early motherhood, was published in 2012. Her novel You Be Mother (HarperCollins) followed in 2017. She lives in Sydney.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 721 reviews
October 30, 2017
You Be Mother is a delightful, bittersweet book that left a certain warm and fuzzy feeling in its wake long after I finished reading it. There are too few of these types of books around, where you get sucked so deeply into the story that you wish it would never end. But to call it just a feel-good book would be doing it an injustice, because it is so much more than that. In Abi and Phil, Mason has created unforgettable characters that I would love to meet down at the local coffee shop for a cuppa and a chat. I was so reluctant to let them go when the book ended, feeling like I was losing lifelong friends! I also admit shedding a few tears, because when I say bitter-sweet, I mean that the book tackles a few of life’s difficult issues, like death, abandonment, loneliness and the different dynamics found in families, including this most precious and fraught relationship of all, the mother-daughter bond.
Abi, a young mother from Croydon, arrives with her small baby in Sydney, to be reunited with Stu, her son’s father, and start a new life. Settling in Cremorne, in a small flat owned by Stu’ parents, Abi soon finds that Stu may not be ready yet to play happy families as he continues to lead his bachelor life, leaving her and baby Jude alone for long periods of time whilst he studies and meets his mates at the pub until the early morning hours. She tries to overcome her loneliness by taking Jude for long walks in the pram. It is during one of those walks that she stumbles across the Cremorne ocean pool, and meets Phyllida Woolnough, who turns out to be her neighbour, living in a stately home next door to the apartment block. Phil is also battling with loneliness after the recent death of her husband, and all her grown- up children having flown the nest to live overseas. Soon Abi and Phil strike up an unusual friendship, each filling a need in the other– Phil serving as a mother substitute for Abi, and Abi and Jude seamlessly slipping into the gap Phil’s children have left behind. But blood is thicker than water – or is it? As Phil’s children get involved, Abi and Phil’s friendship is bound to get a lot more complicated ...
Having emigrated myself at an early age and raising my babies without the help of family, far away from my old life, I really related to Abi. I remember walking for hours with my first-born asleep in the pram, just to get out of the house and talk to other grown-up people. We also created our own extended “family” from older friends who filled the grandparent gap for my children. Lucky for me, I had a partner who was very involved with his kids, and some great friends, who soon quelled the loneliness. But reading about Abi brought back so many memories of that time, and I felt like giving her a huge bear hug of the sort I often craved myself when crying for my mother!
Phyllida Woolnough, Phil for short, was a delightful character and reminded me of someone I know in real life (though I can never reveal who). She is, as she states herself “in the dusty flute stage of life” and was so delightfully eccentric that there were many laugh-out loud moments as she shared her wry observations and ideas with the reader. Phil is a bit of a mercurial character, warm and welcoming one minute and somewhat remote and cold the next. In her postscript, Mason calls Phil “the pleasure of my life to write” and states that she cannot believe Phil doesn’t really exist. Yes, I felt exactly the same. In fact, all characters, the Woolnough children included, seemed so real to me they could have stepped out of the pages of the book, seamlessly inserting themselves into reality. Kudos to the author for creating such a believable “alternative truth” that I am still grieving for the characters now that the last page has been turned.
I loved You Be Mother and found it to be a delightful read that took me off to another world and made me look forward to the hours I could spend reading. Sometime laugh-out-loud funny, other times sad, this was a warm, insightful, bittersweet and very poignant book about families that I cannot recommend highly enough. I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it!
Thank you to Netgalley and HaperCollins Australia for the free electronic copy of this novel and for giving me the opportunity to provide an honest review.
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Abi, a young mother from Croydon, arrives with her small baby in Sydney, to be reunited with Stu, her son’s father, and start a new life. Settling in Cremorne, in a small flat owned by Stu’ parents, Abi soon finds that Stu may not be ready yet to play happy families as he continues to lead his bachelor life, leaving her and baby Jude alone for long periods of time whilst he studies and meets his mates at the pub until the early morning hours. She tries to overcome her loneliness by taking Jude for long walks in the pram. It is during one of those walks that she stumbles across the Cremorne ocean pool, and meets Phyllida Woolnough, who turns out to be her neighbour, living in a stately home next door to the apartment block. Phil is also battling with loneliness after the recent death of her husband, and all her grown- up children having flown the nest to live overseas. Soon Abi and Phil strike up an unusual friendship, each filling a need in the other– Phil serving as a mother substitute for Abi, and Abi and Jude seamlessly slipping into the gap Phil’s children have left behind. But blood is thicker than water – or is it? As Phil’s children get involved, Abi and Phil’s friendship is bound to get a lot more complicated ...
Having emigrated myself at an early age and raising my babies without the help of family, far away from my old life, I really related to Abi. I remember walking for hours with my first-born asleep in the pram, just to get out of the house and talk to other grown-up people. We also created our own extended “family” from older friends who filled the grandparent gap for my children. Lucky for me, I had a partner who was very involved with his kids, and some great friends, who soon quelled the loneliness. But reading about Abi brought back so many memories of that time, and I felt like giving her a huge bear hug of the sort I often craved myself when crying for my mother!
Phyllida Woolnough, Phil for short, was a delightful character and reminded me of someone I know in real life (though I can never reveal who). She is, as she states herself “in the dusty flute stage of life” and was so delightfully eccentric that there were many laugh-out loud moments as she shared her wry observations and ideas with the reader. Phil is a bit of a mercurial character, warm and welcoming one minute and somewhat remote and cold the next. In her postscript, Mason calls Phil “the pleasure of my life to write” and states that she cannot believe Phil doesn’t really exist. Yes, I felt exactly the same. In fact, all characters, the Woolnough children included, seemed so real to me they could have stepped out of the pages of the book, seamlessly inserting themselves into reality. Kudos to the author for creating such a believable “alternative truth” that I am still grieving for the characters now that the last page has been turned.
I loved You Be Mother and found it to be a delightful read that took me off to another world and made me look forward to the hours I could spend reading. Sometime laugh-out-loud funny, other times sad, this was a warm, insightful, bittersweet and very poignant book about families that I cannot recommend highly enough. I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it!
Thank you to Netgalley and HaperCollins Australia for the free electronic copy of this novel and for giving me the opportunity to provide an honest review.
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October 6, 2023
Very different from Sorrow and Bliss, although marvelous character work is the same. This is more of a women's fiction type read, with a lot of family drama and child-rearing (#notmybag). But You Be Mother had almost Melina Marchetta-like gut-wrenchiness to it, so I am a fan. Spent a lovely morning on my porch crying.
October 28, 2017
I loved this book, despite its many foibles. I wept at the end. Phil and Abi are two of the most likeable characters I've read.
January 17, 2024
this is nothing like sorrow and bliss (which is one of my favorite books ever) but it was still a good read
October 31, 2023
This debut novel from Meg Mason is a highly enjoyable read that shows the promise of what was to come with Sorrow and Bliss (my 2020 book of the year). While the story is good, it is the characterisation that really shines. Who wouldn't want to bask in Phil's spotlight? You know it's something special when the author thanks the character in the acknowledgements.
Abi is a Social Work undergraduate, working part-time in Student Services to help out with the stretched family finances, when she falls pregnant to larger-than-life Australian architecture student Stu. They decide to make a go of it and Abi travels to Sydney with newborn Jude, where the small family is set up in Stu's parents' tiny investment property flat in Cremorne Point, next door to the Woolnough house. Meeting at the local swimming pool, recently widowed Phil (Phyllida) Woolnough is charmed by the lonely, jittery young British mum, and decides to take her under her capable wing. At first the need seems to come almost entirely from Abi's side - alone with her baby more than she should be, while Stu works at the local pub and continues his studies - but after a minor fall Phil comes to rely more and more on Abi for help and company. The relationship between the two women grows stronger and more equal, until a transgression threatens to destroy it.
This is the kind of book that you want to stretch out over a decent period of time so that you can fully enter the world built within the pages, and simply enjoy being in Phil & Abi's company for as long as possible. There are plenty of laugh out loud moments, and for me a bit of head-shaking as poor choices are made, as well as tears at the end for the emotional conclusion. It's a book I can imagine re-reading one day.
Abi is a Social Work undergraduate, working part-time in Student Services to help out with the stretched family finances, when she falls pregnant to larger-than-life Australian architecture student Stu. They decide to make a go of it and Abi travels to Sydney with newborn Jude, where the small family is set up in Stu's parents' tiny investment property flat in Cremorne Point, next door to the Woolnough house. Meeting at the local swimming pool, recently widowed Phil (Phyllida) Woolnough is charmed by the lonely, jittery young British mum, and decides to take her under her capable wing. At first the need seems to come almost entirely from Abi's side - alone with her baby more than she should be, while Stu works at the local pub and continues his studies - but after a minor fall Phil comes to rely more and more on Abi for help and company. The relationship between the two women grows stronger and more equal, until a transgression threatens to destroy it.
This is the kind of book that you want to stretch out over a decent period of time so that you can fully enter the world built within the pages, and simply enjoy being in Phil & Abi's company for as long as possible. There are plenty of laugh out loud moments, and for me a bit of head-shaking as poor choices are made, as well as tears at the end for the emotional conclusion. It's a book I can imagine re-reading one day.
June 7, 2021
You Be Mother - Meg Mason
This is the ultimate domestic drama. The storyline itself is somewhat anti-climatic but in the most amusing way (I truly mean this as a huge complement although it doesn’t sound one 😂). If you have read any of her other books you will hopefully understand what I mean by this. I guess what I am trying to say is that she takes something seemingly ordinary, and sprinkles her very own Meg Mason trademark glitter all over it so it shimmers and becomes brilliant.
Every character is extremely flawed yet very loveable. There are characters of every age and stage of life. Some have their shit sorted (mostly) and others are clutching at straws and just hanging in there. As we get to know the characters we become invested in many stories and are seeing everyone’s perspectives without an inch of confusion of who is who or what was going on.
The loneliness, isolation and grief throughout is heartbreaking but the moments of belonging and healing make up for this. The difference between those characters who have family vs those who desire family creates a real contrast which also tugs on the heart strings quite a bit.
I absolutely love the dark and dry humour throughout. The overall mood is rather glum but almost every few pages I would find myself laughing where I least expected too. This is so true to the Meg Mason style that I love so much.
I kept thinking that this book would make a fantastic movie! You Be Mother was hard to put down and I truly didn’t want it to end. An endearing and wonderful read. 💕
5/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
This is the ultimate domestic drama. The storyline itself is somewhat anti-climatic but in the most amusing way (I truly mean this as a huge complement although it doesn’t sound one 😂). If you have read any of her other books you will hopefully understand what I mean by this. I guess what I am trying to say is that she takes something seemingly ordinary, and sprinkles her very own Meg Mason trademark glitter all over it so it shimmers and becomes brilliant.
Every character is extremely flawed yet very loveable. There are characters of every age and stage of life. Some have their shit sorted (mostly) and others are clutching at straws and just hanging in there. As we get to know the characters we become invested in many stories and are seeing everyone’s perspectives without an inch of confusion of who is who or what was going on.
The loneliness, isolation and grief throughout is heartbreaking but the moments of belonging and healing make up for this. The difference between those characters who have family vs those who desire family creates a real contrast which also tugs on the heart strings quite a bit.
I absolutely love the dark and dry humour throughout. The overall mood is rather glum but almost every few pages I would find myself laughing where I least expected too. This is so true to the Meg Mason style that I love so much.
I kept thinking that this book would make a fantastic movie! You Be Mother was hard to put down and I truly didn’t want it to end. An endearing and wonderful read. 💕
5/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
October 18, 2021
There was a lot I liked about this book (although it didn’t compare to her spectacular follow-up, Sorrow and Bliss, which is in a whole different league).
The reason I’ve given it a harsh 3 stars is that I’m furious that useless piece of shit Stu ended up with a lovely family despite essentially abandoning Abi to raise their child on her own because it was all a bit overwhelming for him. Guess what, Stu, getting pregnant was overwhelming for her too, but she had to become a mother immediately because she had no other choice; she didn’t get to delay parenthood until she felt ready. (Hmm, wonder why this is a sore spot for me?)
Normally I would say, well, the plot didn’t go where I wanted it to go, but that doesn’t make it a bad book; indeed, the fact I feel a strong emotional reaction to it makes it a GOOD book. But the problem is that this is very much presented as a Happy Ending for Abi. And Stu doesn’t deserve to be part of her happy ending. And society is far too willing to celebrate dads for making literally any effort, even if it doesn’t happen till years down the track. So I can’t separate my rage about that from my feelings about this book, unfortunately.
The reason I’ve given it a harsh 3 stars is that I’m furious that useless piece of shit Stu ended up with a lovely family despite essentially abandoning Abi to raise their child on her own because it was all a bit overwhelming for him. Guess what, Stu, getting pregnant was overwhelming for her too, but she had to become a mother immediately because she had no other choice; she didn’t get to delay parenthood until she felt ready. (Hmm, wonder why this is a sore spot for me?)
Normally I would say, well, the plot didn’t go where I wanted it to go, but that doesn’t make it a bad book; indeed, the fact I feel a strong emotional reaction to it makes it a GOOD book. But the problem is that this is very much presented as a Happy Ending for Abi. And Stu doesn’t deserve to be part of her happy ending. And society is far too willing to celebrate dads for making literally any effort, even if it doesn’t happen till years down the track. So I can’t separate my rage about that from my feelings about this book, unfortunately.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 22, 2022
All the stars for this affectionate study on mothers and their children (mostly daughters). Abi, of a troubled upbringing, falls pregnant to Stu, Aussie uni student, so they decide to make a go of it in Sydney. New to parenting (weren’t we all), Abi’s only experience is with her hoarder mother; until she meets Stu’s mum - the intimidating and disapproving Elaine ‘She emphasised the E, as though sadly accustomed to people making too short of that improtant first syllable. E-laine. She had a narrow frame, neat bosom, and a coarse, ferociously brushed plume of hair. Its short sides and rounded top put Abi in mind of a toilet brush.’
A chancily engineered meeting with the neighbour Phil (short for Phyllida), a retired, well to-do, empty nester parent with her relationship issues with each far-flung offspring, and Abi is well on her parenting journey, picking up hints, experience, and learning to mum.
Until, she tells a little lie, and the consequences slowly but surely snowball from there.
Written with heart, and a little humour, it really is a great insight into that most precious and complicated of dynamics - parenting. Bonus points for Roger - what an absolute gem of a man.
A chancily engineered meeting with the neighbour Phil (short for Phyllida), a retired, well to-do, empty nester parent with her relationship issues with each far-flung offspring, and Abi is well on her parenting journey, picking up hints, experience, and learning to mum.
Until, she tells a little lie, and the consequences slowly but surely snowball from there.
Written with heart, and a little humour, it really is a great insight into that most precious and complicated of dynamics - parenting. Bonus points for Roger - what an absolute gem of a man.
April 24, 2022
Absolutely fantastic writing in this book about mothers of all different flavours, a vast array of socioeconomic experiences, mother-child relationships, a bit of UK, a bit of shwanky Sydney life all built up with amazing characters. Extremely well done, although I admit to a bit of flagging interest in the first half. I think I was expecting more social commentary about motherhood, but that would be more a la Lionel Shriver. Having read Sorrow and Bliss there was no justification for these expectations and once I let them go and the plot thickened a bit, everything came together and I really enjoyed it. If the opportunity presents itself I hope I can be a Phil to someone someday, except on the cheap.
July 19, 2022
I wanted to read Sorrow and Bliss, but having seen this was the authors first book, decided to read this first. I knew it wasn't related but just the way I am. Whilst reading I checked up on some reviews and found I wasn't alone in not particularly enjoying it and that it is very different to her other book. Good job, or else I wouldn't want to read it. This one in my mind had odd bits of engaging story but for the main part it just trundled along, with unlikeable characters, an unbelievable story and just a wait a bit, something will happen feel. It didn't. I just managed to make it to the end (if I really didn't like it I wouldn't have) skipped large parts, which didn't effect the story for me.
I am certain that for a lot of readers, this is a perfect book, but I'm just not one of them.
I am certain that for a lot of readers, this is a perfect book, but I'm just not one of them.
December 30, 2021
I only finished this so I could say I read it and then write a scathing review. The characters are tiring, one-dimensional and predictable. The amount of trauma and grief the characters carry is profound and yet only blithely hinted at. The Woolnough family drama is largely just well-to-do spoiled-child tantrums, and I found it tedious. The characters showed a modicum of life in the last third of the book but none of them had an arc that allowed them to really develop much self-awareness. Everything magically works out in the end but there's not a lot of actual exploration of friendship and family dynamics, despite what's promised.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 20, 2017
**4.5 stars**
This book was a delightful surprise. I had seen it around but always passed it up believing it to be too ‘light and fluffy’. Recently I had seen some good reviews about it and upon seeing it still available to request on Netgalley, I thought I’d give it a go. And I’m so glad I did.
The first half was a gentle introduction to the characters. In London, Abi has become pregnant to her Australian boyfriend and he has now returned to home to complete his studies. All Abi has every wanted is a family but due to a tragic accident when she was younger, she and her mother have a very dysfunctional relationship. So when Stu says that he will support her and their child Jude if she comes to Australia, she jumps at the chance.
Befriended by newly widowed next door neighbour Phyllida (or Phil, as she likes to be called), her days have some meaning. Especially when Stu has trouble coming to terms with being a responsible adult and a father. This story line is interspersed with Phil’s own children and their troubles.
It’s interesting, I felt at half way the tone of the book changed and became a lot more serious. Exploring ideas of family, expectations and friendships, I loved how Abi grew in this book but my heart did ache for her at times, as she always tried to do her best for herself and Jude.
And on reading the last pages, I can say I finished to story with a lot of hope and satisfaction.
Thank you to Netgalley and the Publisher for a copy to read and review.
This book was a delightful surprise. I had seen it around but always passed it up believing it to be too ‘light and fluffy’. Recently I had seen some good reviews about it and upon seeing it still available to request on Netgalley, I thought I’d give it a go. And I’m so glad I did.
The first half was a gentle introduction to the characters. In London, Abi has become pregnant to her Australian boyfriend and he has now returned to home to complete his studies. All Abi has every wanted is a family but due to a tragic accident when she was younger, she and her mother have a very dysfunctional relationship. So when Stu says that he will support her and their child Jude if she comes to Australia, she jumps at the chance.
Befriended by newly widowed next door neighbour Phyllida (or Phil, as she likes to be called), her days have some meaning. Especially when Stu has trouble coming to terms with being a responsible adult and a father. This story line is interspersed with Phil’s own children and their troubles.
It’s interesting, I felt at half way the tone of the book changed and became a lot more serious. Exploring ideas of family, expectations and friendships, I loved how Abi grew in this book but my heart did ache for her at times, as she always tried to do her best for herself and Jude.
And on reading the last pages, I can say I finished to story with a lot of hope and satisfaction.
Thank you to Netgalley and the Publisher for a copy to read and review.
June 4, 2023
Screaming crying throwing up
November 7, 2017
It took me a while to get into this book and I wasn’t entirely sure if I wanted to keep going with it but I’m glad that I did. A big story of the joys and pitfalls of life. I didn’t really connect with any of the characters, but it was enjoyable to read some Australian references for a change.
September 25, 2017
A friend at work started reading You Be Mother by Meg Mason and couldn’t wait to tell me how good it was. So I decided I would dedicate my long weekend to reading this book – but it didn’t take even that long. I devoured over half this book on a rainy Sunday. Sure I had things to do, but I couldn’t tear myself away from this story. It really grows on you the more you read it. Initially, I thought it would be a romantic comedy (dare I say chick lit?) but it deals with more serious issues in addition. If I had to categorise it, I’d put You Be Mother in the general fiction category, with some literary fiction traits as well as comedy. (See, I’m no good at this – just read the book!)
The story has its origins in the cold bleakness of Croydon in London. Abi is half-heartedly completing a social work degree, when she meets Australian exchange student Stu in her job at Student Services. She welcomes him pretty thoroughly and they begin a relationship, which sort of/kind of ends when Stu goes back home. One problem: Abi is pregnant. After letting Stu know by Instant Messenger, they decide on a plan: Abi comes to Australia and they live in a flat provided by his parents. After a long flight complicated by a declined card in Singapore (where a stranger pays for nappies and snacks – this is important), Abi arrives in Australia. Her own family has been in tatters for some time, and she is willing to start afresh with her new family. But Stu’s mum Elaine is suspicious and cold and Stu is overwhelmed, retreating into the excuse of study. Abi is alone with baby Jude nearly all the time. On a walk, she meets neighbour Phil and they strike up a friendship. Phil has lost her husband and her children are scattered across the globe. Plus, she’s a sucker for strays. Together, they help each other to grow – but at what cost? Phil’s own children are suspicious of the newcomer and their problems are Way More Important. Abi’s growth may just separate her from her new family completely…
Initially, I thought Abi was a bit of a sad sack, relying on others to help her out. She didn’t really seem to want to do anything to lift her out of her misery or work to get the family she wanted. Under Phil’s guidance, she becomes a bit stronger, but it’s not until the latter part of the book where she shows real guts. This made the first part of the book feel a little repetitive to me, as it’s mainly about Abi and Jude meeting with Phil. In the end though, I really admired Abi for what she had gone through and her ability to try to correct her mistakes.
Phil was a pretty cool character to read about. She’s the auntie/godmother you wish you had, free with the cash and really helpful. Sometimes she overstepped the mark with Abi though and in not knowing how to correct it, became a bit cold and standoffish. So neither of our main characters are perfect. Phil’s children are even less so. I loved to read about Brigitta and her continual calamities, only made worse by the reliance on her mother’s black Amex and bossy older sister Polly. Having her as the foil to Abi was a nice contrast I felt. Her other children are minor characters, but play their roles nicely as the bossy one and the naughty one. Polly was instrumental in overreacting (or possibly not) about Abi’s presence in Phil’s life and Freddie was essential in mucking things up for Abi again. In the end, this became a complicated family story, which made it all the more interesting. Stu and his family were a bit of a letdown, being gutless (hello Stu) or nasty (hi Elaine). Only father Roger was a meek relief to Abi.
The story is told primarily in short, sharp chapters with names! (I love chapters that have names – these are titled from a quote from a character each time and can be quite funny). It’s definitely worth persevering through the early stages as the second half is wonderfully complex and dramatic with a pinch of fun.
Thank you to Harper Collins for the copy of this book. My review is honest.
http://samstillreading.wordpress.com
The story has its origins in the cold bleakness of Croydon in London. Abi is half-heartedly completing a social work degree, when she meets Australian exchange student Stu in her job at Student Services. She welcomes him pretty thoroughly and they begin a relationship, which sort of/kind of ends when Stu goes back home. One problem: Abi is pregnant. After letting Stu know by Instant Messenger, they decide on a plan: Abi comes to Australia and they live in a flat provided by his parents. After a long flight complicated by a declined card in Singapore (where a stranger pays for nappies and snacks – this is important), Abi arrives in Australia. Her own family has been in tatters for some time, and she is willing to start afresh with her new family. But Stu’s mum Elaine is suspicious and cold and Stu is overwhelmed, retreating into the excuse of study. Abi is alone with baby Jude nearly all the time. On a walk, she meets neighbour Phil and they strike up a friendship. Phil has lost her husband and her children are scattered across the globe. Plus, she’s a sucker for strays. Together, they help each other to grow – but at what cost? Phil’s own children are suspicious of the newcomer and their problems are Way More Important. Abi’s growth may just separate her from her new family completely…
Initially, I thought Abi was a bit of a sad sack, relying on others to help her out. She didn’t really seem to want to do anything to lift her out of her misery or work to get the family she wanted. Under Phil’s guidance, she becomes a bit stronger, but it’s not until the latter part of the book where she shows real guts. This made the first part of the book feel a little repetitive to me, as it’s mainly about Abi and Jude meeting with Phil. In the end though, I really admired Abi for what she had gone through and her ability to try to correct her mistakes.
Phil was a pretty cool character to read about. She’s the auntie/godmother you wish you had, free with the cash and really helpful. Sometimes she overstepped the mark with Abi though and in not knowing how to correct it, became a bit cold and standoffish. So neither of our main characters are perfect. Phil’s children are even less so. I loved to read about Brigitta and her continual calamities, only made worse by the reliance on her mother’s black Amex and bossy older sister Polly. Having her as the foil to Abi was a nice contrast I felt. Her other children are minor characters, but play their roles nicely as the bossy one and the naughty one. Polly was instrumental in overreacting (or possibly not) about Abi’s presence in Phil’s life and Freddie was essential in mucking things up for Abi again. In the end, this became a complicated family story, which made it all the more interesting. Stu and his family were a bit of a letdown, being gutless (hello Stu) or nasty (hi Elaine). Only father Roger was a meek relief to Abi.
The story is told primarily in short, sharp chapters with names! (I love chapters that have names – these are titled from a quote from a character each time and can be quite funny). It’s definitely worth persevering through the early stages as the second half is wonderfully complex and dramatic with a pinch of fun.
Thank you to Harper Collins for the copy of this book. My review is honest.
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April 16, 2023
Prepare to meet characters who will stick with you for a very long time!
Note: This is nothing like Sorrow and Bliss but at it’s core, Meg Mason continues to write characters who are flawed but you cannot help but love them… and love them, you will. In YOU BE MOTHER we meet Abi who lost her father and sister at a very young age where she lives with her mother who is a hoarder. She doesn’t have a very strong family support, she’s never been in love and felt herself pretty, so it is no wonder she falls in love with Jude who is originally from Australia and came to the UK for university.
After hitting it off, Abi falls pregnant, decides to relocate to Sydney to start a family where Jude would go to school and provide for her and the baby. Nothing could prepare Abi for the loneliness of relocating to a place where she only knows one person. She tries to integrate but it is hard, that is until she meets her next door neighbor Phil. Phil is a widower and all her children lives outside of Sydney. Both women cling to each other… until secrets come to light.
Here is why I will always read Meg Mason… she knows how to write believable situation. She knows how to get you invested into characters and their relationships. I cannot recommend this one enough.
Note: This is nothing like Sorrow and Bliss but at it’s core, Meg Mason continues to write characters who are flawed but you cannot help but love them… and love them, you will. In YOU BE MOTHER we meet Abi who lost her father and sister at a very young age where she lives with her mother who is a hoarder. She doesn’t have a very strong family support, she’s never been in love and felt herself pretty, so it is no wonder she falls in love with Jude who is originally from Australia and came to the UK for university.
After hitting it off, Abi falls pregnant, decides to relocate to Sydney to start a family where Jude would go to school and provide for her and the baby. Nothing could prepare Abi for the loneliness of relocating to a place where she only knows one person. She tries to integrate but it is hard, that is until she meets her next door neighbor Phil. Phil is a widower and all her children lives outside of Sydney. Both women cling to each other… until secrets come to light.
Here is why I will always read Meg Mason… she knows how to write believable situation. She knows how to get you invested into characters and their relationships. I cannot recommend this one enough.
June 14, 2024
Oh mama. You know how I feel about a Sydney based novel - north shore no less! Beautiful, flawed women, complex relationships, vivid home settings and lots of literary allusions. Devoured this one.
June 13, 2018
I am a sucker for novels based in Sydney. I am also familiar with the Cremorne Point area!
But it is a bit of a strange novel. The events in the novel seemed completely unbelievable, especially when Abi returned to London. The story with Stu and his family really didn't add anything to the story; honestly, Stu's decision in the end was just completely out of the blue. Actually, that was the case with all the characters. Completely insufferable until the last few chapters and they all seemed to magically resolve all their issues to live a happy life.
Is the term "flat" commonly used in Australia? I've never heard an Australian refer to it as that (usually unit or apartment). Understandable that Abi would refer to it as a flat, but for Stu to refer to it as a flat too seemed awkward.
But it is a bit of a strange novel. The events in the novel seemed completely unbelievable, especially when Abi returned to London. The story with Stu and his family really didn't add anything to the story; honestly, Stu's decision in the end was just completely out of the blue. Actually, that was the case with all the characters. Completely insufferable until the last few chapters and they all seemed to magically resolve all their issues to live a happy life.
Is the term "flat" commonly used in Australia? I've never heard an Australian refer to it as that (usually unit or apartment). Understandable that Abi would refer to it as a flat, but for Stu to refer to it as a flat too seemed awkward.
April 24, 2024
I wish I could identify and articulate what I love so much about Meg Mason’s writing. But this book had me hooked from the first page, just like Sorrow and Bliss. It’s incredibly frustrating to not be able to understand what I love so much about her writing, since I want give a review that does this special and unique book justice. But what I can say is - I loved every character and every sentence written. I laughed, wanted to cry or pull my hair and read out paragraphs to whoever was sitting next to me. Her writing is effortless and her characters are complex, relatable, believable and extremely loveable. I felt a desperation to know Phil or, ideally, be her. And I felt a need to meet Abi, comfort her and empathise with her struggles. I want to read it ten more times this year.
September 3, 2023
Dnf
I’m trying to be more decisive with books that I don’t enjoy and instead of slogging through a story that doesn’t invest me whatsoever, I can just… put it down.
The main reason why I felt so UN-enamoured by this is that the central dilemma of the character (portraying herself as an orphan) just didn’t seem like that big a deal and it’s as an assumption from the older lady that could’ve easily been rectified. If however she wanted to keep the ruse then I would’ve liked a bit more self introspection. Who knows, maybe it was incoming but I really couldn’t be bothered finding out.
I only really picked it up because I loved Sorrow and Bliss so much and I’m left reminded to not expect every book from an author to be standouts. Shrug!
I’m trying to be more decisive with books that I don’t enjoy and instead of slogging through a story that doesn’t invest me whatsoever, I can just… put it down.
The main reason why I felt so UN-enamoured by this is that the central dilemma of the character (portraying herself as an orphan) just didn’t seem like that big a deal and it’s as an assumption from the older lady that could’ve easily been rectified. If however she wanted to keep the ruse then I would’ve liked a bit more self introspection. Who knows, maybe it was incoming but I really couldn’t be bothered finding out.
I only really picked it up because I loved Sorrow and Bliss so much and I’m left reminded to not expect every book from an author to be standouts. Shrug!
October 15, 2020
I loved this book and ignored my family for a couple of days just racing to finish it. It was so close to being a 5 star read but I can't give it full marks as a couple of plot twists at the very end didn't ring true to the characters that I had come to love. 4.5 stars.
October 7, 2023
This book solidified my love for Meg Mason’s writing style and character building and put her as one of my favourite authors! I’m definitely a general fiction fan and she writes them so perfectly with characters who are so unique and witty, big fan- 4.5!
January 18, 2024
I swear this book was written for me. Family dysfunction, two three dimensional leads, chosen family, intergenerational friendship, what it means to be a “good” mom. It is hard to believe that Phil and Abi don’t actually exist. It was perfect to me.
July 31, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. One of those books you stay up until the early hours to keep reading. I absolutely loved it. It’s been a long time since a book, and its characters, its life sucked me in like this.
As I get older I also think I appreciate complex characters more - the ones that have sticky sides because they are so much more real - because we are all a bit sticky. It was a great book exploring entrenched family dynamics and wilful blindness but ultimately a story of deep love, caring, grace, friendship and forgiveness. I also think it real that some dynamics, personalities don’t change, can’t be changed and all that is left is acceptance. Amongst all that it was a good yarn well told - so many things happened to keep the pages turning. Best book I’ve read in a while.
As I get older I also think I appreciate complex characters more - the ones that have sticky sides because they are so much more real - because we are all a bit sticky. It was a great book exploring entrenched family dynamics and wilful blindness but ultimately a story of deep love, caring, grace, friendship and forgiveness. I also think it real that some dynamics, personalities don’t change, can’t be changed and all that is left is acceptance. Amongst all that it was a good yarn well told - so many things happened to keep the pages turning. Best book I’ve read in a while.
December 23, 2024
This has got to go down in history as one of my biggest book disappointments ever to be honest. I’m still in shock at this rating, and how much I struggled to enjoy it. Considering Sorrow and Bliss is one of my favourite books of all time, I was so eager to read more Meg Mason, and cannot believe I didn’t enjoy this. Well, I did, but not enough. So sad!
If the rest of the book was as soul destroying as emotionally devastating as the last 20%, I think I would have rated this a lot more highly. I can’t quite put my finger on why, but the rest of the book just felt so detached. I didn’t care enough, which is bizarre with a storyline as tender and heartfelt as this one. It should have been pulling at my heart strings and had me at full immersion, but it struggled. We started out with a really interesting premise, completely flatlined in the middle, and had an absolutely brilliant ending. I’m so conflicted on how to feel, it was just a bit all over the place. Those last few chapters really did remind me why I adore Meg Mason’s storytelling so much, but getting there felt like a chore. The book was also about 100-150 pages longer than it needed to be really, and several of the sideplots I didn’t care enough about.
Stu was the most infuriating character I’ve ever read in a book, and the choice not to include more chapters in his perspective was baffling to me. I really wanted to try and understand his motivations and behaviour because in the end he seems to get some sort of redemption arc, but it’s so difficult for a reader to just go along with that and take it at face value when it feels to us like he’s done nothing to deserve it. Abi also was clearly a very complex individual to unpack, but a lot of her decision making frustrated me to no end. It’s almost like she never seemed to learn her lesson? Or was intent on repeating cycle and self sabotage? I don’t know, but I really struggled with her at points too. I at least had more empathy for him and she was a very strong individual, but I don’t think Mason did her enough justice. Most of her character development is done in quite a hurried manner toward the end. I think we needed more on her own relationship with her mother, and her life growing up. A more well rounded picture of why she is the way that she is would’ve given a heap more context.
We do have some sprinkling of alternative perspectives in here, but it felt so random. Either tell the book with multiple points of view, or don’t. We have around 80% of the book told from Abi’s point of view, and then we get brief intermissions from other characters at random intervals. It just really confused the narrative voice for me, and it never found its footing or settled on a familiar/comfortable tone. It was the same with Bridge, who was such an interesting character had we spent more time with her, but we just get the most random fleeting chapters. It wasn’t enough for me, it just served as a distraction when they did crop up and I lost my reading momentum.
I don’t really get this book or what it was trying to say entirely. It touches on motherhood, and complex familial relationships, but just scratches the surface. I would have loved more on girlhood and coming of age, the maturity in coming to terms with being a mother yourself. It didn’t feel like we really hit hard with any of that, but it acts like it has. It wasn’t badly handled by any means, but there’s so much in here that wasn’t done to its potential which is sad.
If the rest of the book was as soul destroying as emotionally devastating as the last 20%, I think I would have rated this a lot more highly. I can’t quite put my finger on why, but the rest of the book just felt so detached. I didn’t care enough, which is bizarre with a storyline as tender and heartfelt as this one. It should have been pulling at my heart strings and had me at full immersion, but it struggled. We started out with a really interesting premise, completely flatlined in the middle, and had an absolutely brilliant ending. I’m so conflicted on how to feel, it was just a bit all over the place. Those last few chapters really did remind me why I adore Meg Mason’s storytelling so much, but getting there felt like a chore. The book was also about 100-150 pages longer than it needed to be really, and several of the sideplots I didn’t care enough about.
Stu was the most infuriating character I’ve ever read in a book, and the choice not to include more chapters in his perspective was baffling to me. I really wanted to try and understand his motivations and behaviour because in the end he seems to get some sort of redemption arc, but it’s so difficult for a reader to just go along with that and take it at face value when it feels to us like he’s done nothing to deserve it. Abi also was clearly a very complex individual to unpack, but a lot of her decision making frustrated me to no end. It’s almost like she never seemed to learn her lesson? Or was intent on repeating cycle and self sabotage? I don’t know, but I really struggled with her at points too. I at least had more empathy for him and she was a very strong individual, but I don’t think Mason did her enough justice. Most of her character development is done in quite a hurried manner toward the end. I think we needed more on her own relationship with her mother, and her life growing up. A more well rounded picture of why she is the way that she is would’ve given a heap more context.
We do have some sprinkling of alternative perspectives in here, but it felt so random. Either tell the book with multiple points of view, or don’t. We have around 80% of the book told from Abi’s point of view, and then we get brief intermissions from other characters at random intervals. It just really confused the narrative voice for me, and it never found its footing or settled on a familiar/comfortable tone. It was the same with Bridge, who was such an interesting character had we spent more time with her, but we just get the most random fleeting chapters. It wasn’t enough for me, it just served as a distraction when they did crop up and I lost my reading momentum.
I don’t really get this book or what it was trying to say entirely. It touches on motherhood, and complex familial relationships, but just scratches the surface. I would have loved more on girlhood and coming of age, the maturity in coming to terms with being a mother yourself. It didn’t feel like we really hit hard with any of that, but it acts like it has. It wasn’t badly handled by any means, but there’s so much in here that wasn’t done to its potential which is sad.
April 5, 2023
What a sad story. I did really like this book, but it was very sad.
May 27, 2023
Ever since I read "Sorrow and Bliss" I understood that not only Meg Mason was one of my new favorite authors but also that she was one of the greatest, brightest and sharpest writers of this day and age.
I absolutely love how she can write such simultaneously sad and funny things, how she bestows beauty and drama into the ordinary, how her remarks are always witty and sharp. "You Be Mother" begun with a promising premise, of a 22-year-old girl from a broken home that wants a family more than anything, at all costs, and man oh man does it deliver! After falling pregnant from her Australian Erasmus boyfriend she moves to Sydney looking forward to start a new life... except that it's set upon lies after lies that quickly grow out of proportions, in what is one of the most amusing readings of the year. It's easily one of my recent favorite reads and will surely be kept in a special place in my heart. This book made me laugh and cry. But regardless of the emotion it caused, it made me read non-stop, because it's one of those readings you will not want to put down.
I absolutely love how she can write such simultaneously sad and funny things, how she bestows beauty and drama into the ordinary, how her remarks are always witty and sharp. "You Be Mother" begun with a promising premise, of a 22-year-old girl from a broken home that wants a family more than anything, at all costs, and man oh man does it deliver! After falling pregnant from her Australian Erasmus boyfriend she moves to Sydney looking forward to start a new life... except that it's set upon lies after lies that quickly grow out of proportions, in what is one of the most amusing readings of the year. It's easily one of my recent favorite reads and will surely be kept in a special place in my heart. This book made me laugh and cry. But regardless of the emotion it caused, it made me read non-stop, because it's one of those readings you will not want to put down.
December 10, 2023
i have so many things to say!!!! im sleep-deprived so this is gonna a bit messy and all over the place
I FUCKING LOVED THIS BOOK!!!! i think meg mason is becoming one of my favorite authors bcs her books leave me feeling all sorts of emotions, my chest actually hurts lmao
i love all the characters i love the setting and i love how i never really knew where this story was going like???? it was just so nice to feel like im a part of their lives, knowing what everyone is thinking and going through.
when i reached page 200 i just couldn’t put this book down
i loved abi and phil so much and i cried so hard at the end
and i loved stu, actually i love men written by meg (patrick in sorrow and bliss, stu and roger in this)
beautiful story truly!
I FUCKING LOVED THIS BOOK!!!! i think meg mason is becoming one of my favorite authors bcs her books leave me feeling all sorts of emotions, my chest actually hurts lmao
i love all the characters i love the setting and i love how i never really knew where this story was going like???? it was just so nice to feel like im a part of their lives, knowing what everyone is thinking and going through.
when i reached page 200 i just couldn’t put this book down
i loved abi and phil so much and i cried so hard at the end
and i loved stu, actually i love men written by meg (patrick in sorrow and bliss, stu and roger in this)
beautiful story truly!
August 22, 2021
I picked this up for free on Kindle Unlimited, after reading (and loving) Sorrow and Bliss by the same author earlier this year. This is her first novel originally published in 2017 and though not as good (I thought) as Sorrow and Bliss, it’s still a lovely read. It has been given a new UK/Europe publication date of 2 September 2021, so though it’s no longer available on Kindle Unlimited, it will be more widely available soon.
Abi, the main character, has had a tough upbringing. Enduring tragic loss in her childhood, and her mother’s spiral into a catatonic, depressive state, all Abi has ever wanted is a family. So when Abi meets Stu and falls in love, and a surprise pregnancy results in her moving to his native Australia, she dives headfirst. There, as a lonely young mother, she meets Phil, an older lady who has raised her own family but is mired in grief following the death of her husband. The two embark on an unlikely friendship that takes unexpected twists and turns.
Most of the way through this book, I felt it was a solid read, well written but overly long (400+ pages) and in need of editing. However, I found the last 100 or so pages riveting and very moving, and there were tears streaming down my face reading it, elevating it to a wonderful 4 ⭐️. There is something about Meg Mason’s writing that really touches a nerve. Great characters that grow and change and really have you rooting for them. A lovely holiday read.
Abi, the main character, has had a tough upbringing. Enduring tragic loss in her childhood, and her mother’s spiral into a catatonic, depressive state, all Abi has ever wanted is a family. So when Abi meets Stu and falls in love, and a surprise pregnancy results in her moving to his native Australia, she dives headfirst. There, as a lonely young mother, she meets Phil, an older lady who has raised her own family but is mired in grief following the death of her husband. The two embark on an unlikely friendship that takes unexpected twists and turns.
Most of the way through this book, I felt it was a solid read, well written but overly long (400+ pages) and in need of editing. However, I found the last 100 or so pages riveting and very moving, and there were tears streaming down my face reading it, elevating it to a wonderful 4 ⭐️. There is something about Meg Mason’s writing that really touches a nerve. Great characters that grow and change and really have you rooting for them. A lovely holiday read.
November 11, 2022
both sad and funny, mason did an utterly great job at writing about family, both biological and not, also her acknowledgements at the end where she thanked phil just made me so misty! lovely story and lovely imagery of sydney's beaches, BEAUTIFUL
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