The Name I Call Myself

by Hasan Namir (Text), Cathryn John (Illustrations)

Meet Ari, a young person who doesn't like to be called by their birth name Edward: "When I think of the name Edward, I imagine old kings who snore a lot." Throughout this beautiful and engaging picture book, we watch Ari grow up before our very eyes as they navigate the ins and outs of their gender identity; we see how, as a child, they prefer dolls and princess movies, and want to grow out their hair, though their father insists on cutting it short, "because that's what boys look like." At nine, they play hockey but wish they could try on their mother's dresses; at fifteen, they shave their face, hoping to have smooth skin like girls. At sixteen, they want to run away, especially from their father who insists, "You're a boy, so you have to act like one." Who will Ari become?


Moving from age six to adolescence, The Name I Call Myself touchingly depicts Edward's tender, solitary gender journey to Ari: a new life distinguished and made meaningful by self-acceptance and unconditional love.


Ages 5 to 12.


This publication meets the EPUB Accessibility requirements and it also meets the Web Content Accessibility Guidelines (WCAG-AA). It is screen-reader friendly and is accessible to persons with disabilities. A book with many images, which is defined with accessible structural markup. This book contains various accessibility features such as alternative text for images, table of contents, page-list, landmark, reading order and semantic structure.

Genres: Picture Books, LGBT, Queer, Childrens, Fiction, Transgender, Genderfluid

ebook

First published January 1, 2020

Reviews

[Ms. Hurtubise · Rating 4 out of 5]

More of a note to myself than a review.
This is a wonderful picture book featuring a BIPOC LBBTQ+ protagonist. I’d recommend it for intermediate students. I won’t leave it for younger primary students to take out because of the seriousness of Ari’s struggles. I think they’d need discussion around why he feels so bad about himself.
I would use this book as an introduction to SOGI and SEL lessons.

[Jj · Rating 4 out of 5]

At first, the cover made me think this was just another relentlessly positive entry in the increasing number of books out there finally celebrating the breakdown of gender barriers for kids. I thought it was going to be all cheerful self-image and asserting identity loudly and proudly to the world without hesitation. Well, it is... but not until the very end. I instead found a story that traced a child's struggle (both internal and external) over many years to reach the point of realizing an identity, and finally asserting it at the end.

The first-person narration here sounds quite viable as a child's voice. The situation is one that I think is much more relatable for many kids than that in some other books on this subject for young children right now--the child is adrift and unhappy with his assigned gender, but can't voice feelings or express this freely except at home with their mother. The father is not only unsympathetic to the plight of the child, but also actively works to redirect their actions and negate their feelings over the course of a childhood and into adolescence. Eventually, the child reaches the age of eighteen and tells their parents the truth: "I am neither a boy nor a girl", and fully embraces their own freedom and powers.

While much is changing in the world with regard to gender identity in very recent times, there is still a very long and difficult road ahead. I think that this story might be able to speak to a lot of kids and families--not just those with members who are non-binary and exploring identity--and foster some greater understanding of those who are.

[Storytime With Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have been trying and trying to get my hands on Hasan Namir and Cathryn John’s beautiful story The Name I Call Myself after hearing it at Word on the Street last fall. Unfortunately, Toronto Public Library does not have it in their catalogue (don’t worry I have put in a request through their request line). It seems to me that this book should have been picked up right away. It’s a beautiful story about a child’s journey to knowing their authentic selves and sharing that with the world.

Hasan Namir lovingly shares the story of a child growing up and all of their feelings and questions about their identity. They struggle with expectations from their family and society but ultimately find themselves, neither girl nor boy, and discover the joy of feeling truly comfortable in their skin.

I love how Hasan Namir has created this beautifully, flowing text, starting each page with an age and explaining the feelings they have at each stage of development. It’s chronological and, developmentally, a story you can revisit over and over. It can grow with your reader.

Cathryn John has beautifully captured all of Ari’s feelings through her dynamic illustrations. The art is stunning. It is joyful and pained, just look at the page when Ari is eleven, blank faces of their peers surround them as they move in a shadow.

The Name I Call Myself is an incredible addition to any bookshelf.

[Steener · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a must read for all parents and young children. I felt Hasan did an amazing job telling the story of Ari and hitting home for adults the turmoil and heartache when gender is pushed or denied. As a adult this story moved me and made me really think about my own actions. This story was beautifully written and the illustrations visually was able to tell a story that I felt will help facilitate conversations starting at such a young age. Definitely a book I will be reading to all the children in my life and highly encourage everyone who hasn't done so get out and get a copy for yourself!

[Kathleen]

Queer content: enby kid

[Tarn Khare · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an amazing book! We really get a glimpse into Ari’s life as they explore their own gender identity !

[Elaine Fultz, Teacher Librarian, MLS · Rating 2 out of 5]

Non-binary main character ages year by year until liberation at 18.

[Hannah Fidler · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful message filled with beautiful imagery a must-have for any inclusive classroom library.

[Sheri Radford · Rating 4 out of 5]

An entertaining but informative book for little kids about what it's like to feel as if one's gender doesn't fit.

[Andréa]

Note: I accessed a digital review copy of this book through Edelweiss.

[Jillian · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars.

[Neha Thakkar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love! Finding their own identity, they don’t identify as Edward and struggle to find their place. They are ostracized by their father and encouraged by their mother. Great for discussions gender identity and pronouns.

[Angie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Judging by the cover and format, I thought this would be a young children’s book, but the story inside is so much more. I’m not sure littles would grasp it, but upper elementary or middle school? Perfection! Internal and external challenges while coming to grasp with their own identity.

[Coe · Rating 4 out of 5]

I LOVE THIS BOOK SO MUCH I LOVE ARI

[Saturniidead ★ · Rating 2 out of 5]

Content warnings are listed at the end of my review!

Well, the cover was incredibly misleading for the story's tone. It features the main character smiling and playing dress up, while the book itself is loaded with emotional anguish. I'm left really torn how to feel, as it's application doesn't fit the recommended ages 5-9, and there's not much story at all, leaving just feeling like a cliché difficult coming out story. I really appreciate it's a more tumultuous representation of coming out, Ari has a bad relationship with their father and a seemingly distant one with their mother, and struggles deeply with isolation and self loathing. The ideas are good, it just doesn't feel connected and complete since Ari's characterization is vague and we have minimal background on them and their family.

Summary:
Readability: ★★☆☆☆, I think this could be too scary for the 5-9 age range. The art is honestly haunting on some pages- the first page with a full illustration opens on semi-realistic faces, with one large staring eye, that the tiny main character climbs on. It continues with this surreal and bizarre imagery, like the father depicted as a giant crushing surroundings and bullies that are featureless faces besides large laughing mouths. Something about it is almost akin to Sally Face, which I don't think I want to evoke connections to when I'm reading a children's book.

Entertainment: ★☆☆☆☆, 1.5 Reads like a TV trans rep, lots of suffering, off screen transformation, no conclusion or repercussions regarding the transphobia Ari faced from their father. Depicting trans hardships just does not come off well from authors who are not writing from personal experience. At least there is a happy ending.

Audience: Probably not kids aged 5-9, 9-12 might work better though? I feel all of the elements this book has can be found elsewhere but done better.

Content Warnings: abusive father, bullying, fear, homophobia, isolation, scopophobia, self hatred, surreal imagery, transphobia

[Jeremy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Nice message and representation, kind of a tricky recommendation for kids since it follows a non-binary kid's gender journey that progresses until they're 18 years old.

As a result, "The Name I call Myself" feels a bit kiddish for tweens/teens going through Ari's struggles, but also a little intense/not relatable for picture-book audiences (struggling with puberty and some intense parent-child angst). I would say the sweet spot is late elementary/middle school?

I'm glad we are seeing these types of books though, and I hope to see more!

[Stephanie Flint · Rating 4 out of 5]

I located this book using the Lambda Literary website (labdaliteracy.org). The Name I Call Myself has been awarded the Lambda Literary Award which recognizes the outstanding contributions made by individuals to LGBTQ+ literature, culture, and community.

The Name I Call Myself is told through Edward’s eyes as he makes his solitary gender journey to become Ari. The story documents Edward’s life experiences and struggles to find his/her place from the time he was six years old through eighteen years old. Throughout the story the reader will watch Ari grow up as they navigate the ins and outs of their gender identity.

I read this book digitally via Hoopla from my local public library. The illustrations in the story are very vivid and almost dream-like directly connecting to the storyline and serving as visual metaphors for the reader. The Full page colorful images show strong masculine and feminine elements truly highlighting Ari’s struggles with gender identity.

This book is ideal for upper elementary and middle school aged students. Although this book presents as a picture book with simple language and few words per page, the story and concepts within may be difficult for early elementary students to grasp. This book can be used for teaching and discussing gender identity and pronouns. This book could also be used to teach about the gender roles placed on society as Edward’s dad often says things like “this is what a boy looks like” or “you’re a boy so you have to act like one”.

[Peacegal · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a bittersweet, but ultimately hopeful story of a child growing into the person they are destined to be. Ari experiences prejudice and confusion in their interactions with others, but also love and support. The illustrations often depict feelings and metaphors and are creative, colorful, and a touch surreal.

[Alyce Caswell · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've been discussing non-binary kids with kiddo all week, so imagine my surprise that he'd coincidentally brought this book home from the library. When we got to the page explaining that Ari was neither a boy nor a girl, kiddo said delightedly, "Non-binary!!!" I do wonder how he'd have reacted to the text and pictures if we hadn't already discussed it.

[Beck · Rating 2 out of 5]

I dont think the emphasis on different ages works for well for a picture book, and I'm not sure the kids in a picture book reading age will relate to or care about the teenage struggles this mentions.

[Renee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nice story but since it skews into young adult hood it might be a bit much for younger kids. I would give this book to someone more in the 4th or 5th grade.

[Edi · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF

[Laura Mack · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved the story and message, but am not a fan of the art work.

[Kim Esmael · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book that takes you through Ari's life year by year where they describe very simply the way they feel about themselves and who they are.

[Caro · Rating 5 out of 5]

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