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The Places Left Unfilled
My dressed up corpse and this secret; those were the two things I knew for certain I'd take to my grave."
Born to a single mother who would prefer she didn’t exist, Morgan has spent much of her young life in pursuit of one thing – a father. But when her close friendship with an older neighbor begins to attract suspicion, and connecting with her birth father isn’t at all how she imagined it would be, Morgan’s long-held hope begins to dwindle. That is, until, at the age of fourteen, Morgan meets Bill – her forty-five-year-old martial arts instructor.
At first a teacher and father figure who Morgan can confide in, Bill soon reveals that his interest in her isn’t entirely paternal. Despite her initial fear, Morgan craves the attention Bill is more than willing to lavish upon her, resulting in a several-months-long affair that will alter the course of both of their lives.
Spanning four years of Cauley’s adolescence, The Places Left Unfilled explores in harrowing detail the circumstances that may lead a child to find solace in their sexual abuse. Told with immediacy and remarkable candor, Cauley’s gripping narrative will stay with you long after you’ve turned the final page.
Born to a single mother who would prefer she didn’t exist, Morgan has spent much of her young life in pursuit of one thing – a father. But when her close friendship with an older neighbor begins to attract suspicion, and connecting with her birth father isn’t at all how she imagined it would be, Morgan’s long-held hope begins to dwindle. That is, until, at the age of fourteen, Morgan meets Bill – her forty-five-year-old martial arts instructor.
At first a teacher and father figure who Morgan can confide in, Bill soon reveals that his interest in her isn’t entirely paternal. Despite her initial fear, Morgan craves the attention Bill is more than willing to lavish upon her, resulting in a several-months-long affair that will alter the course of both of their lives.
Spanning four years of Cauley’s adolescence, The Places Left Unfilled explores in harrowing detail the circumstances that may lead a child to find solace in their sexual abuse. Told with immediacy and remarkable candor, Cauley’s gripping narrative will stay with you long after you’ve turned the final page.
374 pages, Paperback
First published October 11, 2020
49 people are currently reading
2181 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 52 reviews
September 10, 2020
I am not a typical review writer. however, I wanted to give this book a review because of the material and the fascinating psychology behind the main story. Reading the book was a fascinating trip into a mindset of a horrible situation with a very different than "normal response". most people believe that they know how they would feel or how others would feel if faced with a very similar (however horrible) situation. I thought the actions and thoughts were detailed and very understanding given that this is a Memoir. I thought it was a bold story to tell to since the natural response will be "what is wrong with you? how could you feel that way?" when in reality the everyday person reading this book will never understand and the author does their best to convey understanding as much as possible. i defiantly recommend reading this book and hope you learn from it as i have.
October 12, 2020
TW: sexual abuse, child abuse.
🦄🦄🦄
"My dressed up corpse and this secret; those were the two things I knew for certain I'd take to my grave."
🦄🦄🦄
Born to a single mother who would prefer she didn’t exist, Morgan has spent much of her young life in pursuit of one thing – a father. But when her close friendship with an older neighbor begins to attract suspicion, and connecting with her birth father isn’t at all how she imagined it would be, Morgan’s long-held hope begins to dwindle. That is, until, at the age of fourteen, Morgan meets Bill – her forty-five-year-old martial arts instructor.
At first a teacher and father figure who Morgan can confide in, Bill soon reveals that his interest in her isn’t entirely paternal. Despite her initial fear, Morgan craves the attention Bill is more than willing to lavish upon her, resulting in a several-months-long affair that will alter the course of both of their lives.
🦄🦄🦄
The Places Left Unfilled is a memoir by M.C. Cauley’s about the unfathomable experiences during her childhood.
So, firstly given the the nature of the book and since it covers a sensitive topic of a real life situation it was very difficult to read and I always applaud an author who is able to share their stories.
From the very beginning we feel the author's pain as the author been treated badly by her own mother and that's what initially stems her interest in finding out who her father is.
This is a memoir, so the author has written down whatever happens from memory, diary entries etc so while I'm not going to say much on the content except that the author did a good job, the writing does require a little bit of tweaking.
This book is left "open-ended" because the author is still dealing with the scars of these events when the book ends.
It is a really sad book and with whatever happens to her as a child you feel disgusted that someone who's supposed to play a better part in her life would do this to her and because we get to view her thoughts on what happened, as an outsider looking in I can only comment on what I know but the author has experienced it and there may still be a few things that haven't been shared (this is just an assumption).
I would recommend you reading this book HOWEVER please be aware of the content and do not take the TWs lightly because there are things I wish I didn't read, just because my heart couldn't handle it.
🦄🦄🦄
Rated 8.5/10
Melina L.
🦄🦄🦄
"My dressed up corpse and this secret; those were the two things I knew for certain I'd take to my grave."
🦄🦄🦄
Born to a single mother who would prefer she didn’t exist, Morgan has spent much of her young life in pursuit of one thing – a father. But when her close friendship with an older neighbor begins to attract suspicion, and connecting with her birth father isn’t at all how she imagined it would be, Morgan’s long-held hope begins to dwindle. That is, until, at the age of fourteen, Morgan meets Bill – her forty-five-year-old martial arts instructor.
At first a teacher and father figure who Morgan can confide in, Bill soon reveals that his interest in her isn’t entirely paternal. Despite her initial fear, Morgan craves the attention Bill is more than willing to lavish upon her, resulting in a several-months-long affair that will alter the course of both of their lives.
🦄🦄🦄
The Places Left Unfilled is a memoir by M.C. Cauley’s about the unfathomable experiences during her childhood.
So, firstly given the the nature of the book and since it covers a sensitive topic of a real life situation it was very difficult to read and I always applaud an author who is able to share their stories.
From the very beginning we feel the author's pain as the author been treated badly by her own mother and that's what initially stems her interest in finding out who her father is.
This is a memoir, so the author has written down whatever happens from memory, diary entries etc so while I'm not going to say much on the content except that the author did a good job, the writing does require a little bit of tweaking.
This book is left "open-ended" because the author is still dealing with the scars of these events when the book ends.
It is a really sad book and with whatever happens to her as a child you feel disgusted that someone who's supposed to play a better part in her life would do this to her and because we get to view her thoughts on what happened, as an outsider looking in I can only comment on what I know but the author has experienced it and there may still be a few things that haven't been shared (this is just an assumption).
I would recommend you reading this book HOWEVER please be aware of the content and do not take the TWs lightly because there are things I wish I didn't read, just because my heart couldn't handle it.
🦄🦄🦄
Rated 8.5/10
Melina L.
October 1, 2020
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
This is a tough book to read because it's so sad yet this is an important subject for today's world. The ease that some of these adults have on manipulating young, vulnerable girls is frightening. The author is open and honest with her struggle with her feelings for and relationship with the predator. I hope writing this memoir was therapeutic for her.
This is a tough book to read because it's so sad yet this is an important subject for today's world. The ease that some of these adults have on manipulating young, vulnerable girls is frightening. The author is open and honest with her struggle with her feelings for and relationship with the predator. I hope writing this memoir was therapeutic for her.
December 8, 2020
This memoir, The Places Left Unfilled by M.C. Cauley, is a raw and honest look at how the relationship between the abuser and the victim isn’t always recognised for what it is.
As a young girl, Morgan doesn’t have the ideal relationship with her father – or her mother, for that matter. Unsurprisingly, this leads to Morgan forming close relationships with other men who enter her life. One of these is with an adult neighbour, who she becomes close friends with. When suspicions arise and she is banned from spending time with him, Morgan really feels the loss of having a male role model.
When her stepmother introduces her to martial arts, Morgan is instantly drawn to the instructor. As a prominent figure in the community, family man, and teacher, Bill is well respected and loved by many. When he showers Morgan with the type of praise and recognition she feels is missing from her life, Morgan laps it up and soon finds herself eager to please Bill. What she doesn’t understand is that she is being manipulated and this is about to lead her down a dark and twisted path.
The Places Left Unfilled is not light reading. The events that take place are horrifying and anguish inducing. However, I felt compelled to keep reading. I wanted to hear Morgan’s story and I really wanted to know that she reached a happy ending. Instead, I found myself acknowledging the truth of what happens in many abuse cases; the truth that no one ever seems to talk about or admit. Morgan shares how her relationship with Bill feels to her, throughout the stages, and the lasting impact it has had on her life. It might not be what you are expecting.
The author tells her story without apology and she deserves to be recognised for doing this. For anyone who has had sexual abuse touch their lives, they will know how invasive and destructive it can be, both at the time and in the aftermath. The world can be so harshly judgemental of the victims. This book doesn’t scream holiday reading, but it definitely is worthy of your time. Please read it. Then share it with the other adults in your life. The ones that need to hear that someone else understands. The ones that might be overlooking signs they don’t know are there. The ones that maybe are struggling to understand what it might be like for a victim who is a part of their life. But first, read it yourself.
Thank you to Netgalley, the publisher and the author for providing me with a copy of this memoir in exchange for an impartial review.
4/5 stars.
As a young girl, Morgan doesn’t have the ideal relationship with her father – or her mother, for that matter. Unsurprisingly, this leads to Morgan forming close relationships with other men who enter her life. One of these is with an adult neighbour, who she becomes close friends with. When suspicions arise and she is banned from spending time with him, Morgan really feels the loss of having a male role model.
When her stepmother introduces her to martial arts, Morgan is instantly drawn to the instructor. As a prominent figure in the community, family man, and teacher, Bill is well respected and loved by many. When he showers Morgan with the type of praise and recognition she feels is missing from her life, Morgan laps it up and soon finds herself eager to please Bill. What she doesn’t understand is that she is being manipulated and this is about to lead her down a dark and twisted path.
The Places Left Unfilled is not light reading. The events that take place are horrifying and anguish inducing. However, I felt compelled to keep reading. I wanted to hear Morgan’s story and I really wanted to know that she reached a happy ending. Instead, I found myself acknowledging the truth of what happens in many abuse cases; the truth that no one ever seems to talk about or admit. Morgan shares how her relationship with Bill feels to her, throughout the stages, and the lasting impact it has had on her life. It might not be what you are expecting.
The author tells her story without apology and she deserves to be recognised for doing this. For anyone who has had sexual abuse touch their lives, they will know how invasive and destructive it can be, both at the time and in the aftermath. The world can be so harshly judgemental of the victims. This book doesn’t scream holiday reading, but it definitely is worthy of your time. Please read it. Then share it with the other adults in your life. The ones that need to hear that someone else understands. The ones that might be overlooking signs they don’t know are there. The ones that maybe are struggling to understand what it might be like for a victim who is a part of their life. But first, read it yourself.
Thank you to Netgalley, the publisher and the author for providing me with a copy of this memoir in exchange for an impartial review.
4/5 stars.
November 19, 2020
Harrowing.
That is all there is to say.
If you do want a little more, there will be some small spoilers:
While there are many stories out there about abuse and neglected and used children, this autobiography is different in that it portrays grooming in a way people will truly understand the psychological meaning of it.
It is a term regularly used when describing paedophilia, but rarely does the true manipulation come through the way Morgan Cauley portrays it in The Places Left Unfilled.
Despite having heard and read it more times than I care to think about, I am sad to say it took me longer than it should have to understand the true nature of what I was reading about. And if it is so hard to distinguish for an adult, how must it feel for a teenager desperately looking for a friend and father figure in her life? The Places Left Unfilled makes it clear just how tricky it can be to differentiate feelings and intentions. Nothing is as simple as it seems. For the longest time, Morgan doesn’t feel violated, but heartbroken. And it takes this book and her story to truly understand why.
That is all there is to say.
If you do want a little more, there will be some small spoilers:
While there are many stories out there about abuse and neglected and used children, this autobiography is different in that it portrays grooming in a way people will truly understand the psychological meaning of it.
It is a term regularly used when describing paedophilia, but rarely does the true manipulation come through the way Morgan Cauley portrays it in The Places Left Unfilled.
Despite having heard and read it more times than I care to think about, I am sad to say it took me longer than it should have to understand the true nature of what I was reading about. And if it is so hard to distinguish for an adult, how must it feel for a teenager desperately looking for a friend and father figure in her life? The Places Left Unfilled makes it clear just how tricky it can be to differentiate feelings and intentions. Nothing is as simple as it seems. For the longest time, Morgan doesn’t feel violated, but heartbroken. And it takes this book and her story to truly understand why.
November 12, 2020
This is a memoir that reads like a gripping work of fiction, meaning that it has a plot, characters, arcs, conflict, and great dialogue. Although I love reading traditional memoirs, this one is told in more of a non-traditional way–more like a movie script or dramatic novel. As you read, you will discover that the main character, Morgan, is a victim of sexual abuse, and, although her later actions may surprise and shock you, it is common behavior with some child sexual abuse survivors.
What on the surface sounds like a titillating or almost exploitative work of fiction of a “Lolita” nature, is really a bare-naked reality for those who have experienced sexual abuse. I love the psychological aspects of this memoir. The characters and situations explain frankly what is happening and why, and though it may be uncomfortable to read at times, it’s still a way to shed light on the subject so that the audience can come to a greater understanding of the dynamics of childhood trauma. This book is full of triggers, so be warned before reading if you are easily triggered.
Cauley has created a good balance of psychological drama and narrative memoir. The family issues–from Morgan’s neglectful mother, to her absent father ring true. Before you judge Morgan and her actions, just know that the cycle of abuse is real, and isn’t always one-size-fits-all. Morgan craves her father’s attention, and she has been groomed and conditioned to feel a certain way, so she plays the part that abuse carved out for her. This author has presented the sexually reactive child in a way that can be understood. Sex workers often fall into some of the same patterns.
Readers will learn a lot from this emotional drama, and they will be drawn to the characters. You will even find some character traits that you don’t like or understand, but this book is “all in” when it comes to showing character choices and motivations. “The Places Left Unfilled: A Memoir” by M.C. Cauley, is a well-executed story that needed to be told.
What on the surface sounds like a titillating or almost exploitative work of fiction of a “Lolita” nature, is really a bare-naked reality for those who have experienced sexual abuse. I love the psychological aspects of this memoir. The characters and situations explain frankly what is happening and why, and though it may be uncomfortable to read at times, it’s still a way to shed light on the subject so that the audience can come to a greater understanding of the dynamics of childhood trauma. This book is full of triggers, so be warned before reading if you are easily triggered.
Cauley has created a good balance of psychological drama and narrative memoir. The family issues–from Morgan’s neglectful mother, to her absent father ring true. Before you judge Morgan and her actions, just know that the cycle of abuse is real, and isn’t always one-size-fits-all. Morgan craves her father’s attention, and she has been groomed and conditioned to feel a certain way, so she plays the part that abuse carved out for her. This author has presented the sexually reactive child in a way that can be understood. Sex workers often fall into some of the same patterns.
Readers will learn a lot from this emotional drama, and they will be drawn to the characters. You will even find some character traits that you don’t like or understand, but this book is “all in” when it comes to showing character choices and motivations. “The Places Left Unfilled: A Memoir” by M.C. Cauley, is a well-executed story that needed to be told.
October 12, 2020
This is the autobiography of Morgan a young girl who is struggling to grow up with an abusive mother and find herself Being groomed by Into Inappropriate relationships with older men and even her stepmother would laugh at inappropriate jokes.
Before I say why I didn’t like the book I want to see the reasons I did like it. Unlike most autobiographies I didn’t find Morgan play the victim in an over-the-top way. I find a lot of people that write their memoirs or autobiography Have this need to play of them being the victim. I also found that Morgan wrote with humility and didn’t claim to be the best at everything she did, Something else a lot of autobiographers do. I love her writing style, as soon as I open the book and chapter 1 started I was glued to it and couldn’t put it down. Even my husband started reading with me and he is not at all into books like this. What was the saddest thing was that Morgan tried to smile and portrayed a positive Little girl she definitely was not. They did have a couple of contradictions in the book, that seemed unbelievable, but had so many positive things about it I couldn’t give it less than four stars. I was going to but once I weighed the pros and cons the pros way out numbered the cons. I am not saying there was a point where Morgan lied about anything. I just think that is something that tends to happen in an autobiography, because I see it in all of them. Not so much in Morgan’s but it was still there. It is still a book worth reading a definite great addition to any autobiography Library. It is compelling, entertaining and as I said hard to put down. I am always amazed at the caliber of book I get from Books sirens. All in exchange for an honest review and this is my honest review it was a pretty great book!
Before I say why I didn’t like the book I want to see the reasons I did like it. Unlike most autobiographies I didn’t find Morgan play the victim in an over-the-top way. I find a lot of people that write their memoirs or autobiography Have this need to play of them being the victim. I also found that Morgan wrote with humility and didn’t claim to be the best at everything she did, Something else a lot of autobiographers do. I love her writing style, as soon as I open the book and chapter 1 started I was glued to it and couldn’t put it down. Even my husband started reading with me and he is not at all into books like this. What was the saddest thing was that Morgan tried to smile and portrayed a positive Little girl she definitely was not. They did have a couple of contradictions in the book, that seemed unbelievable, but had so many positive things about it I couldn’t give it less than four stars. I was going to but once I weighed the pros and cons the pros way out numbered the cons. I am not saying there was a point where Morgan lied about anything. I just think that is something that tends to happen in an autobiography, because I see it in all of them. Not so much in Morgan’s but it was still there. It is still a book worth reading a definite great addition to any autobiography Library. It is compelling, entertaining and as I said hard to put down. I am always amazed at the caliber of book I get from Books sirens. All in exchange for an honest review and this is my honest review it was a pretty great book!
October 24, 2020
Born to a single mother who would prefer she didn’t exist, Morgan has spent much of her young life in pursuit of one thing – a father. That is, until, at the age of fourteen, Morgan meets Bill – her forty-five-year-old martial arts instructor.
At first a teacher and father figure who Morgan can confide in, Bill soon reveals that his interest in her isn’t entirely paternal. Despite her initial fear, Morgan craves the attention Bill is more than willing to lavish upon her, resulting in a several-months-long affair that will alter the course of both of their lives.
.
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🍷This is one of those books that drenched me in tears, pain, greif and I just feel so so attached with the story, I feel so closer to Morgan even after completing the book. This is a highly moving tale, parents are the most important part of one's life and we often ignore how privileged we are to have them because few people just don't have them, especially when they need them and even if they have, they seem unwanted and knowing that we are unwanted to our parents is the worst thing to know and it feels like our existence is not valid and Morgan is going through same, love is all she need, respect and care is all she long for and this is one of those books that is going to be most close and special to my heart.
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It's extremely worthy, bold, strong and I think even parents should read it, it's a perfect book which presents a sensitive subject so well. This book has my heart. I will highly recommend it to everyone, it might be triggering for few readers. Yet, thanks to the author for writing it.
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Rating: 4.5🌟
October 17, 2020
A bold statement describing a survivor - one who was scarred by abuse from her mom, erratic behavior and lack of respect from her biological dad
A testimony that finally gives credit to folks who have suffered assault or abuse, especially if they were groomed or courted, that mourning the impact and the loss of focused attention is ok, to be expected
In an adult domestic abuse cycle, we might describe the courting or grooming as part of a hearts and flowers phase of the abuse. There are many models for counseling and helping adult domestic abuse victims with dealing with the cycles and their draw to them
Perhaps it is time that we embrace children of assault and helped them find better coping mechanisms to deal with not only their loss of innocence, but to help them mourn and move ahead from being the object of intense attention and focus, and to help them seek better alternatives than over sexualized behavior or acting out.
A great deal of reflection, and counseling and effort went into this book.
Thanks for sharing the good, the hard to admit and everything in between
A testimony that finally gives credit to folks who have suffered assault or abuse, especially if they were groomed or courted, that mourning the impact and the loss of focused attention is ok, to be expected
In an adult domestic abuse cycle, we might describe the courting or grooming as part of a hearts and flowers phase of the abuse. There are many models for counseling and helping adult domestic abuse victims with dealing with the cycles and their draw to them
Perhaps it is time that we embrace children of assault and helped them find better coping mechanisms to deal with not only their loss of innocence, but to help them mourn and move ahead from being the object of intense attention and focus, and to help them seek better alternatives than over sexualized behavior or acting out.
A great deal of reflection, and counseling and effort went into this book.
Thanks for sharing the good, the hard to admit and everything in between
November 16, 2020
I'm not a regular memoir reader, but when I read the synopsis, something drew me in. Raw and honest, "The Places Left Unfilled" is one of those books that has left a permanent imprint. The ability of M.C Cauley to be brutally straightforward about her young life takes courage. Cauley's vulnerability compelled me to turn the pages even when I wanted to put the book away. It takes strength to reveal your innermost thoughts to a situation that usually depicted to have a black and white response. This book made me feel a spectrum of emotions and further helped me understand the value of listening to the voice of survivors of abuse. The aftershocks that Morgan feels after Bill's actions come to light is reflective and unshielded. I appreciated the open-ended conclusion for there is no straight cut solution. My heart was heavy as I had a good cry after finishing the book. Please note that this subject matter can be a trigger to some readers. I would recommend keeping a box of Kleenex nearby. I will carry this book with me for years to come.
A thank you to VoraciousReadersOnly for giving me a free copy of this book. This honest review is left voluntarily.
A thank you to VoraciousReadersOnly for giving me a free copy of this book. This honest review is left voluntarily.
September 28, 2020
This book was so sad to read. I'm very glad that the author found the strength to express her story with the world and hopefully heal a little bit. This book is all about our main character, Morgan, who has a less than ideal home life. Her mother is abusive and her father is gone, leaving her step father in his place only he is as absent and abusive as her mother is. At age fourteen Morgan meets Bill her martial arts instructor. That is when things really start to go down hill for her. While Bill appears to be everything that Morgan needs in a male figure, it actuality he is everything but. His attention in the beginning is sweet because, it seems that he is filling in for everything Morgan's mother lacks however his attention eventually crosses the line and it goes from sweet attention to creepy and abuse. I liked how this book showed the slow progress that took place in the grooming process because it isn't always quick and usually takes years. Very different twist on the abuse books that I have read before but it was just as compelling. I'm very glad that I got the chance to check it out.
March 17, 2025
The Places Left Unfilled is an incredibly heartbreaking and powerful memoir that delves into the slow, insidious process of grooming and the long-lasting scars it leaves behind. C.M. Cauley bravely recounts her own experiences, painting a vivid and harrowing picture of how predators manipulate and exploit vulnerable children—particularly those who are already desperate for love and approval.
What makes this book so impactful is its raw honesty. Cauley doesn’t hold back in describing the psychological and emotional toll of abuse, making this an incredibly difficult yet necessary read. Her writing is gripping, and from the very first chapter, I was hooked, unable to put it down despite the heavy subject matter. She has an incredible way of capturing both the innocence of childhood and the dark realities that can shatter it.
This book is left somewhat open-ended, reflecting the reality that healing from such trauma is a lifelong process. It’s not a story with a neat resolution, but rather a testament to survival and resilience. While I wholeheartedly recommend this book, I urge readers to take the trigger warnings seriously. This is not an easy read, but for those who work with young people or want a deeper understanding of how abuse occurs, it is an essential one.
What makes this book so impactful is its raw honesty. Cauley doesn’t hold back in describing the psychological and emotional toll of abuse, making this an incredibly difficult yet necessary read. Her writing is gripping, and from the very first chapter, I was hooked, unable to put it down despite the heavy subject matter. She has an incredible way of capturing both the innocence of childhood and the dark realities that can shatter it.
This book is left somewhat open-ended, reflecting the reality that healing from such trauma is a lifelong process. It’s not a story with a neat resolution, but rather a testament to survival and resilience. While I wholeheartedly recommend this book, I urge readers to take the trigger warnings seriously. This is not an easy read, but for those who work with young people or want a deeper understanding of how abuse occurs, it is an essential one.
October 19, 2020
Through Cauley’s retelling I found myself cringing, wincing, even so far as physically distancing myself from this book when certain details were discussed, yet I recognized this was the author’s life and she did not have the opportunity to bail on the b-s. Regardless, I stuck with her and found myself unable to stop reading until the pages became vacant. This book feels like I am an anonymous figure who stumbled into a therapy session and couldn’t leave until I made sure the story teller was okay. The epilogue is the most influential part of this book: seriously. This epilogue needs to reach the minds of as many people as possible because it illustrates honestly how life at times isn’t pretty or comfortable, but it is still collectively a series of positive and negative memories that are completely or individually our own.
November 12, 2020
Morgan's story touched me deeply. The very first sentence of the book sets the tone for what will be a memoir written with intimacy, vulnerability and strength as Morgan reveals the environment in which she grew up. I have often felt sad and helpless while reading, wanting to move through time and come and fill those unfilled spaces with listening and tenderness. But I loved the sense of humor of this young girl who, despite her wounds, finds a way to hold on to hope.
I have a lot of respect for the honesty she shows in revealing in a direct and sometimes brutal way the different ways in which the adults who have to take care of her and give her everything a child needs to grow up with confidence, have instead let her experience a childhood where violence and manipulation were the order of the day. I was particularly moved by her summary of the end, where she reveals how she got through it all and does not hide the conflicting thoughts that had been with her for so long.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
I have a lot of respect for the honesty she shows in revealing in a direct and sometimes brutal way the different ways in which the adults who have to take care of her and give her everything a child needs to grow up with confidence, have instead let her experience a childhood where violence and manipulation were the order of the day. I was particularly moved by her summary of the end, where she reveals how she got through it all and does not hide the conflicting thoughts that had been with her for so long.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
November 8, 2020
Well I don’t have words to describe, how I’m feeling after reading this memoir. Author as a teen has suffered sexual abuse from her trainer at the age of 14. In fact she wasn’t sad of what she has suffered. She fell in love with him. She considered him as father,friend and lover. Children who don’t receive love of their parents, look for it outside. That love Morgan ( author) received from bill. Even her mother never understood her feelings which led Morgan to be inclined towards bill. She has suffered emotionally more than physically. I have developed a soft corner towards her. I want to meet her and hug her. All I want to say is you are a strong girl and woman.
September 17, 2020
I review a lot of books, but never have a memoir so bare with me. I will start out by saying a received this book as an ARC in return for an honest review. I felt so many different emotions while reading this book. I felt so bad for Morgan throughout the book. Her mom does not sound like she was motherly at all, which made me really sad because moms are supposed to always be there for their children and love them no matter what. I didnt think highly of really anyone in her life. Morgan seemed to be looking for someone to love and someone to love her, then you hear about her abuse. Bill was so manipulative, it made me so angry! Morgan is truly a survivor.
October 26, 2020
This was a very interesting memoir taking us through the early teenage years of the author and the sometimes horrific events that occurred during those influential years. Her matter-of-fact narrative made the more gruesome aspects of her younger years even more devastating. I found myself gripped to her story right from the beginning, as I willed her to make different choices, and hoped that she would start to see the reality of her situation as it progressed. I tend to read at night, and after a chapter or two find my eyelids heavy, but I was up until the early hours finishing this book, such was my connection to the main protagonist. That it is a memoir is heart-breaking in itself, and I hope that the activity of writing the book has helped get rid of some demons.
October 26, 2020
This is not going to be for everyone as there are so many possible triggers in it as the author gives a candid description of life as a teenager being abused. Having no safe place to fall the author describes how a teenager looks for and accepts what they perceive as love wherever they can find it. This is a survivor’s journey.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
September 27, 2020
Wow, what an interesting but sad story. I think many teenage girls can relate to Morgan here in some ways, which makes it all the harder to read. What if that teacher we fancied reciprocated those feelings? I love how she has dealt with the events in her life and been truly honest about her feelings. A truly great read about an amazing women!
June 18, 2021
Looking for Love
This is the harrowing tale of a young girl seduced by her martial arts instructor. The author had an unstable home life with an abusive, mentally ill mother. Still she was bright and resilient. The grooming process and the aftermath are detailed. It is well written, compelling and honest.
This is the harrowing tale of a young girl seduced by her martial arts instructor. The author had an unstable home life with an abusive, mentally ill mother. Still she was bright and resilient. The grooming process and the aftermath are detailed. It is well written, compelling and honest.
October 7, 2020
The Places Left Unfilled left me with so many different emotions. I laughed, I cried and felt like I was right there at times.
This book is beautifully written and shows so much vulnerability. It’s raw and hard to read at times, but it’s worth it for the understanding of this survivor.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
This book is beautifully written and shows so much vulnerability. It’s raw and hard to read at times, but it’s worth it for the understanding of this survivor.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
October 15, 2020
This brutally honest account of what leads a young girl from a troubled home to find comfort in an older man sexually is a must read. The author's honesty about what led her to trust her abuser and the voids in her life that helped him take advantage of her is eye-opening.
October 5, 2020
Child sexual abuse is always "done" to the child. It is very hard to read and accept that the child can actually be manipulated in to actually wanting a relationship with their abuser.
A Frank and insightful memoir of how Morgan fell for her abuser. How he not only manipulated her but others as well.
A bold book. I would recommend that anyone who works with young adults reads, so they could be aware of situations like these.
A Frank and insightful memoir of how Morgan fell for her abuser. How he not only manipulated her but others as well.
A bold book. I would recommend that anyone who works with young adults reads, so they could be aware of situations like these.
December 17, 2020
Wow!
Seriously couldn't put it down. Seriously brave. Seriously talented writer. Seriously heartbreaking. Seriously real and raw. seriously read it you won't regret it!
Seriously couldn't put it down. Seriously brave. Seriously talented writer. Seriously heartbreaking. Seriously real and raw. seriously read it you won't regret it!
June 12, 2021
Couldn't Be Better Said
I have read many stories of women who have been abused as children, and this memoir exceeds them all. Although tough to read and triggering as the devil, it is truthful, so very heartfelt, and agonizingly real.
I have read many stories of women who have been abused as children, and this memoir exceeds them all. Although tough to read and triggering as the devil, it is truthful, so very heartfelt, and agonizingly real.
October 29, 2020
This was a powerful memoir that shows the true bond that sexual abuse victims can have with their abusers.
October 7, 2021
[I was given a free copy of the book by the author in exchange for a review through Voracious Readers Only]
How are you supposed to know that you’re being sexually abused when your frame of reference for normal and appropriate relationships is nonexistent? What if the person abusing you was also the only person in your that truly cared about you in your short life? These are the questions Cauley brings up in this memoir.
Since the age of eleven, “Morgan” (author’s pseudonym), has had to deal with an absent father and a neglectful mother who verbally and physically abuses her for the slightest infractions. When she does finally meet him, she soon finds out that her dad is more interested in partying with his fiancée than having a relationship with her. Her attempts to grow closer to her overly affectionate married male neighbour are also thwarted by her mom. At age thirteen, she meets and develops a crush on her taekwando instructor “Bill”, a man who gives her all the care and supporting she’s been missing from her affection-starved life. However, Bill’s affection comes at a price and he quickly grooms her into satisfying his sexual needs. The consequences of this relationship and its shocking aftermath have left a now adult Morgan with deep emotional scars.
As though she has pulled her memories straight from her mind as well her diary entries, the author has decided to write her memoir entirely from the perspective of her adolescent self, saving her adult reflections for the end of the book. She spares no detail in describing the the nature of her perverse relationship with Bill, like when she tells of him watching her playing with his similarly-ages kids on the dojang mats hours after he has her perform a sexual act for him for the first time in disturbing contrast. Morgan is also an adolescent of the late 90’s-early 00’s, a time that I personally recall where kids were frequently warned of “stranger danger”, but the unfortunate fact that most abused kids are preyed upon by people they already know and trust was rarely discussed in comparison. Much of the story’s tragedy comes from simply how none of the adults in Morgan’s life are involved enough to suspect her beloved teacher of doing anything wrong. Morgan’s story also highlights the importance of listening to abuse victims instead of just telling them how they should and shouldn’t feel. A harrowing read for all the right reasons, Cauley’s brutally honest account is a well-written one that addresses important points regarding the nature of child sexual abuse.
How are you supposed to know that you’re being sexually abused when your frame of reference for normal and appropriate relationships is nonexistent? What if the person abusing you was also the only person in your that truly cared about you in your short life? These are the questions Cauley brings up in this memoir.
Since the age of eleven, “Morgan” (author’s pseudonym), has had to deal with an absent father and a neglectful mother who verbally and physically abuses her for the slightest infractions. When she does finally meet him, she soon finds out that her dad is more interested in partying with his fiancée than having a relationship with her. Her attempts to grow closer to her overly affectionate married male neighbour are also thwarted by her mom. At age thirteen, she meets and develops a crush on her taekwando instructor “Bill”, a man who gives her all the care and supporting she’s been missing from her affection-starved life. However, Bill’s affection comes at a price and he quickly grooms her into satisfying his sexual needs. The consequences of this relationship and its shocking aftermath have left a now adult Morgan with deep emotional scars.
As though she has pulled her memories straight from her mind as well her diary entries, the author has decided to write her memoir entirely from the perspective of her adolescent self, saving her adult reflections for the end of the book. She spares no detail in describing the the nature of her perverse relationship with Bill, like when she tells of him watching her playing with his similarly-ages kids on the dojang mats hours after he has her perform a sexual act for him for the first time in disturbing contrast. Morgan is also an adolescent of the late 90’s-early 00’s, a time that I personally recall where kids were frequently warned of “stranger danger”, but the unfortunate fact that most abused kids are preyed upon by people they already know and trust was rarely discussed in comparison. Much of the story’s tragedy comes from simply how none of the adults in Morgan’s life are involved enough to suspect her beloved teacher of doing anything wrong. Morgan’s story also highlights the importance of listening to abuse victims instead of just telling them how they should and shouldn’t feel. A harrowing read for all the right reasons, Cauley’s brutally honest account is a well-written one that addresses important points regarding the nature of child sexual abuse.
February 13, 2021
A very open and honest insight into the crime of grooming children for abuse. The author was frank in her descriptions of her own feelings, both as she perceived them at the time and how she reflected on them later. This is not an easy book to read but it is an important one as grooming is so prevalent and so easy for some to dismiss as a lesser evil.
September 22, 2022
It's a different approach to the theme of sexual child abuse. I have read a lot about that. Not because of personal experiences, but I found it is an important topic and I have my own set of trauma. And as I have realized recently, it doesn't matter what the cause of the trauma is, the effects afterwards are often the same. Furthermore, I'm fascinated with the human mind and the reasons behind the actions.
And a lot of the thought process of the victims are similar to mine, too. So, this memoir is again different to my previous ones. Mainly, because the abuser isn't violent to her. He fills a significant role in her life and was there for her, when others weren't. Sure, he had ulterior motives. And I don't know if he truly regrets it in the end or felt anything for his victims.
But I could understand Morgan's feelings. She is searched for something she didn't have otherwise. A person, who loves her and gives her affection. And she can freely talk to. And yeah, she gets attached to him, because Bill gave that to her.
I could understand it, because, even if I weren't a victim of sexual abuse, I was bullied in school and never had a close connection to my family or others in general. No support or anything. They always told me, that I'm good for nothing and can't be on my own. Even if I did a lot without their help, though, my struggles always hold me back. It's difficult, and I developed a lot of health issues. Physically and mentally. And my family don't respect my boundaries on top of that.
I'm 32 now, and still struggle. Until recently, I lived with my grandmother because of that. But I have realized, that I have to leave the toxic environment, that is my family, to begin to heal and find real footing in life long-term.
But I get the feeling of Cauley. Pining for another human being to love me unconditionally, who is there for me, and I just can be myself around that person. Talk freely without being afraid. Not some of my false selves, I use when I have to. So, when I watch movies/TV or read about tight-knit families, I'm sad because I never had that. I never had a true best friend. And all that.
I get it, that people find the way Morgan Cauley's feels wrong. And yes, it is in some way. But it humanly the way she reacts. You can't help your feelings, no matter how fucked up it is. And how wrong the man was for doing that to her. And therefore, my opinion isn't for everyone and can't understand, why I understand it. But if you never had known a positive feeling in your life, isn't it natural to want that and get attached if someone gives it freely?
It's like being a flower, that is dying and needs water. It doesn't matter where the water comes from. If it's from a river or from the tap. One is natural, and the other isn't entirely. But both keeps the flower alive. And that's what kind of happen to Morgan. The people, who couldn't or won't give her the attention she required, made her vulnerable and insecure. And that guy was there and gave it to her, though it wasn't purely goodness.
I learned a lot from that fact and considering the facets sexual abuse can have. I'm sad for the little girl, who required the right attention and instead get selfish parents. And is let down on the way. I really hope, she could heal and found her way in life.
Sexual abuse can only grow there, where the ground is susceptible to it. And that ground is developed often through the environment and the people. Parents, friends, teachers etc. No love, violence, create low self-esteem and so on. And the willingness to look away. That's what the abusers search for. They are only strong, when the victim is weak.
So, abuse is only to prevent, if we form a strong front against it. Through reading, we are helping and prevent it, hopefully in our own environment. That is what I believe.
And a lot of the thought process of the victims are similar to mine, too. So, this memoir is again different to my previous ones. Mainly, because the abuser isn't violent to her. He fills a significant role in her life and was there for her, when others weren't. Sure, he had ulterior motives. And I don't know if he truly regrets it in the end or felt anything for his victims.
But I could understand Morgan's feelings. She is searched for something she didn't have otherwise. A person, who loves her and gives her affection. And she can freely talk to. And yeah, she gets attached to him, because Bill gave that to her.
I could understand it, because, even if I weren't a victim of sexual abuse, I was bullied in school and never had a close connection to my family or others in general. No support or anything. They always told me, that I'm good for nothing and can't be on my own. Even if I did a lot without their help, though, my struggles always hold me back. It's difficult, and I developed a lot of health issues. Physically and mentally. And my family don't respect my boundaries on top of that.
I'm 32 now, and still struggle. Until recently, I lived with my grandmother because of that. But I have realized, that I have to leave the toxic environment, that is my family, to begin to heal and find real footing in life long-term.
But I get the feeling of Cauley. Pining for another human being to love me unconditionally, who is there for me, and I just can be myself around that person. Talk freely without being afraid. Not some of my false selves, I use when I have to. So, when I watch movies/TV or read about tight-knit families, I'm sad because I never had that. I never had a true best friend. And all that.
I get it, that people find the way Morgan Cauley's feels wrong. And yes, it is in some way. But it humanly the way she reacts. You can't help your feelings, no matter how fucked up it is. And how wrong the man was for doing that to her. And therefore, my opinion isn't for everyone and can't understand, why I understand it. But if you never had known a positive feeling in your life, isn't it natural to want that and get attached if someone gives it freely?
It's like being a flower, that is dying and needs water. It doesn't matter where the water comes from. If it's from a river or from the tap. One is natural, and the other isn't entirely. But both keeps the flower alive. And that's what kind of happen to Morgan. The people, who couldn't or won't give her the attention she required, made her vulnerable and insecure. And that guy was there and gave it to her, though it wasn't purely goodness.
I learned a lot from that fact and considering the facets sexual abuse can have. I'm sad for the little girl, who required the right attention and instead get selfish parents. And is let down on the way. I really hope, she could heal and found her way in life.
Sexual abuse can only grow there, where the ground is susceptible to it. And that ground is developed often through the environment and the people. Parents, friends, teachers etc. No love, violence, create low self-esteem and so on. And the willingness to look away. That's what the abusers search for. They are only strong, when the victim is weak.
So, abuse is only to prevent, if we form a strong front against it. Through reading, we are helping and prevent it, hopefully in our own environment. That is what I believe.
April 22, 2021
This memoir, The Places Left Unfilled by M.C. Cauley, is a raw and honest look at how the relationship between the abuser and the victim isn’t always recognised for what it is.
As a young girl, Morgan doesn’t have the ideal relationship with her father – or her mother, for that matter. Unsurprisingly, this leads to Morgan forming close relationships with other men who enter her life. One of these is with an adult neighbour, who she becomes close friends with. When suspicions arise and she is banned from spending time with him, Morgan really feels the loss of having a male role model.
When her stepmother introduces her to martial arts, Morgan is instantly drawn to the instructor. As a prominent figure in the community, family man, and teacher, Bill is well respected and loved by many. When he showers Morgan with the type of praise and recognition she feels is missing from her life, Morgan laps it up and soon finds herself eager to please Bill. What she doesn’t understand is that she is being manipulated and this is about to lead her down a dark and twisted path.
The Places Left Unfilled is not light reading. The events that take place are horrifying and anguish inducing. However, I felt compelled to keep reading. I wanted to hear Morgan’s story and I really wanted to know that she reached a happy ending. Instead, I found myself acknowledging the truth of what happens in many abuse cases; the truth that no one ever seems to talk about or admit. Morgan shares how her relationship with Bill feels to her, throughout the stages, and the lasting impact it has had on her life. It might not be what you are expecting.
The author tells her story without apology and she deserves to be recognised for doing this. For anyone who has had sexual abuse touch their lives, they will know how invasive and destructive it can be, both at the time and in the aftermath. The world can be so harshly judgemental of the victims. This book doesn’t scream holiday reading, but it definitely is worthy of your time. Please read it. Then share it with the other adults in your life. The ones that need to hear that someone else understands. The ones that might be overlooking signs they don’t know are there. The ones that maybe are struggling to understand what it might be like for a victim who is a part of their life. But first, read it yourself.
4/5 stars.
As a young girl, Morgan doesn’t have the ideal relationship with her father – or her mother, for that matter. Unsurprisingly, this leads to Morgan forming close relationships with other men who enter her life. One of these is with an adult neighbour, who she becomes close friends with. When suspicions arise and she is banned from spending time with him, Morgan really feels the loss of having a male role model.
When her stepmother introduces her to martial arts, Morgan is instantly drawn to the instructor. As a prominent figure in the community, family man, and teacher, Bill is well respected and loved by many. When he showers Morgan with the type of praise and recognition she feels is missing from her life, Morgan laps it up and soon finds herself eager to please Bill. What she doesn’t understand is that she is being manipulated and this is about to lead her down a dark and twisted path.
The Places Left Unfilled is not light reading. The events that take place are horrifying and anguish inducing. However, I felt compelled to keep reading. I wanted to hear Morgan’s story and I really wanted to know that she reached a happy ending. Instead, I found myself acknowledging the truth of what happens in many abuse cases; the truth that no one ever seems to talk about or admit. Morgan shares how her relationship with Bill feels to her, throughout the stages, and the lasting impact it has had on her life. It might not be what you are expecting.
The author tells her story without apology and she deserves to be recognised for doing this. For anyone who has had sexual abuse touch their lives, they will know how invasive and destructive it can be, both at the time and in the aftermath. The world can be so harshly judgemental of the victims. This book doesn’t scream holiday reading, but it definitely is worthy of your time. Please read it. Then share it with the other adults in your life. The ones that need to hear that someone else understands. The ones that might be overlooking signs they don’t know are there. The ones that maybe are struggling to understand what it might be like for a victim who is a part of their life. But first, read it yourself.
4/5 stars.
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