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The Onion Ring Lovers (Guide to Vermont): A Novel
Many children wish that every day could be Christmas. For one year, Jim Sutton and his family found themselves living that dream. As dreams go, however, it turned out to be more of a nightmare. The Suttons were not caught up in some kind of "Groundhog Day" scenario. Far from it. While each day was distinct and separate, some days seemed to echo the one before, like a rerun nobody asked to relive. From 1977 through early 1978, the Sutton clan lived as permanent residents in a year-round Christmas attraction named, appropriately enough, Christmas Town. The chain of events leading to how precisely they came to settle on an island in the middle of Lake Champlain, Vermont is found in two words: Bob Sutton (or as he was more colloquially called: Dad). Bob Sutton pried his brood from their comfortable lives in Boston, Massachusetts to relocate to the Green Mountain State. He bought a snack stand concession in Christmas Town, where he believed they would make their fortunes in a forever Winter Wonderland. None of the Suttons expected that this outwardly idyllic setting would lead to familial betrayal and tragedy. Twenty-two years later, a grown Jim Sutton ventures out to write his novel. His muse: onion rings. The setting: the state he once swore he would never visit again. In a rusted-out beater of a car, Jim navigates his way through the countryside, sampling onion rings for his book, The Onion Ring Lover's Guide to Vermont. When an accident strands him in the sleepy town of Strawberry Falls, little does Jim know that another dark family secret hides beneath the surface of this seemingly idyllic little New England town, a secret that some of the town residents would kill for to keep from coming to light.
248 pages, Paperback
Published August 7, 2021
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
March 16, 2022
To paraphrase Cammy:
Whoever edited this book should be shot. Or at least imprisoned. That point is moot, however, because this book did not have an editor.
Perhaps I am a bit too traditional in this respect, but being an English teacher myself, I subscribe wholeheartedly to the idea that there are certain rules you must follow when writing if you wish to be taken seriously at all. The text being deprived of such a bare necessity as an editor (nay, even a proofreader) left it riddled with some pretty inexcusable typos and grammatical errors. Early on, I stopped annotating it for enjoyment and started correcting punctuation and peppering in erroneously omitted words. A modern word processor would have fixed not only the most egregious of these problems, but also some of the more subtle ones that even Jim would forgive his students for.
Editors also solve problems like when a character is named Jed on one page, but Judd on the next. They also point out when a family’s furniture is deemed unnecessary in a move and summarily abandoned, only for the mother to be up late concerned about when it will arrive the following day. Contradictions like this exist in spades in this book. These plot holes are admittedly inconsequential (after all, who really cares about the first name of an excessively-virile redneck and his annoying wife?), but they reek of a lack of care and responsibility for one’s creation. I spent money and time on this book; shouldn’t the author have done the same? (I started a game: how quickly could the narration contradict itself? The best I found was a sentence stating that Christmas Island falls under the jurisdiction of an off-island police force, only for them to arrive sooner than would have been physically possible later on in the very same sentence.) That’s not even mentioning the MacGuffin introduced in the melodramatic third act that, by the novel’s own chronology, shouldn’t even exist.
I could forgive the atrocious textuality if the other elements of good literature could mince that oath. Unfortunately, any points the book earned for uniqueness were smothered by its floundering attempts to show, not tell. Vermonters as a whole are characterized as nothing but provincialist Neanderthals, with all the subtlety of an ice pick through the skull (or, incidentally, a Ford Festiva through a wooden sign). The narrator’s apparent antipathy for Vermonters was jarringly immiscible with their obsession with obscure, immediately local Vermont history and fraternal fondness for New England as a whole. Strawberry Falls’ resident mommy dearest is a predictable and overly on-the-nose villain.
The romance in this book is, frankly, awful. The dialogue between the eponymous lovers is stilted, awkward, and utterly unbelievable. I have no idea why they’re even drawn to each other, nor did I particularly care by the time they got around to actually getting to know each other in a sense beyond the biblical. The only time the couple makes sense at all is in the finale — a fairly superfluous chapter that was overly akin to the “where are they now?” segment of an 80s documentary.
None of this is to say that the prose does not have its moments. There are some twists that did shock me, even if their abrupt delivery left much to be desired and tended to undercut their gravitas. Descriptions of physical locations are quite vivid, and there is some quality unexpected comedy scattered throughout. Lauding something else, the characters of Linda and Cammy are particularly compelling. The book would be improved immensely if Cammy were the protagonist of the portions set in 2000, rather than Jim.
In the same vein, I’m somewhat perplexed by the choice of Jim as the main character, because he has no strong desires or character traits when compared to literally everyone else in this novel. Although many people in life are indeed pushed along by circumstances beyond their control, many people wouldn’t make good protagonists of readable novels. Even Jim’s (gratuitously slaughtered) four-year-old sister has more agency than he does.
I cannot in good faith recommend that anybody read this book. Its few golden moments are absolutely drowning in drivel freely strewn with elementary errors that would annoy even the most forgiving of readers. I would have stopped reading it after page 30, but it’s probably in pretty poor taste to leave a scathing review of a novel without actually completing it. I wanted to like this book when I started. I was lured in by the promise of an unconventional journey through the American Northeast’s answer to the American Midwest. To its credit, I was occasionally treated to the cozy familiarity and paradoxically-metropolitan provincialism that us New Englanders love to indulge in (especially when it’s to spite those filthy New Yorkers). Instead, I was left disappointed, like my onion rings were yesterday’s reheated leftovers.
Whoever edited this book should be shot. Or at least imprisoned. That point is moot, however, because this book did not have an editor.
Perhaps I am a bit too traditional in this respect, but being an English teacher myself, I subscribe wholeheartedly to the idea that there are certain rules you must follow when writing if you wish to be taken seriously at all. The text being deprived of such a bare necessity as an editor (nay, even a proofreader) left it riddled with some pretty inexcusable typos and grammatical errors. Early on, I stopped annotating it for enjoyment and started correcting punctuation and peppering in erroneously omitted words. A modern word processor would have fixed not only the most egregious of these problems, but also some of the more subtle ones that even Jim would forgive his students for.
Editors also solve problems like when a character is named Jed on one page, but Judd on the next. They also point out when a family’s furniture is deemed unnecessary in a move and summarily abandoned, only for the mother to be up late concerned about when it will arrive the following day. Contradictions like this exist in spades in this book. These plot holes are admittedly inconsequential (after all, who really cares about the first name of an excessively-virile redneck and his annoying wife?), but they reek of a lack of care and responsibility for one’s creation. I spent money and time on this book; shouldn’t the author have done the same? (I started a game: how quickly could the narration contradict itself? The best I found was a sentence stating that Christmas Island falls under the jurisdiction of an off-island police force, only for them to arrive sooner than would have been physically possible later on in the very same sentence.) That’s not even mentioning the MacGuffin introduced in the melodramatic third act that, by the novel’s own chronology, shouldn’t even exist.
I could forgive the atrocious textuality if the other elements of good literature could mince that oath. Unfortunately, any points the book earned for uniqueness were smothered by its floundering attempts to show, not tell. Vermonters as a whole are characterized as nothing but provincialist Neanderthals, with all the subtlety of an ice pick through the skull (or, incidentally, a Ford Festiva through a wooden sign). The narrator’s apparent antipathy for Vermonters was jarringly immiscible with their obsession with obscure, immediately local Vermont history and fraternal fondness for New England as a whole. Strawberry Falls’ resident mommy dearest is a predictable and overly on-the-nose villain.
The romance in this book is, frankly, awful. The dialogue between the eponymous lovers is stilted, awkward, and utterly unbelievable. I have no idea why they’re even drawn to each other, nor did I particularly care by the time they got around to actually getting to know each other in a sense beyond the biblical. The only time the couple makes sense at all is in the finale — a fairly superfluous chapter that was overly akin to the “where are they now?” segment of an 80s documentary.
None of this is to say that the prose does not have its moments. There are some twists that did shock me, even if their abrupt delivery left much to be desired and tended to undercut their gravitas. Descriptions of physical locations are quite vivid, and there is some quality unexpected comedy scattered throughout. Lauding something else, the characters of Linda and Cammy are particularly compelling. The book would be improved immensely if Cammy were the protagonist of the portions set in 2000, rather than Jim.
In the same vein, I’m somewhat perplexed by the choice of Jim as the main character, because he has no strong desires or character traits when compared to literally everyone else in this novel. Although many people in life are indeed pushed along by circumstances beyond their control, many people wouldn’t make good protagonists of readable novels. Even Jim’s (gratuitously slaughtered) four-year-old sister has more agency than he does.
I cannot in good faith recommend that anybody read this book. Its few golden moments are absolutely drowning in drivel freely strewn with elementary errors that would annoy even the most forgiving of readers. I would have stopped reading it after page 30, but it’s probably in pretty poor taste to leave a scathing review of a novel without actually completing it. I wanted to like this book when I started. I was lured in by the promise of an unconventional journey through the American Northeast’s answer to the American Midwest. To its credit, I was occasionally treated to the cozy familiarity and paradoxically-metropolitan provincialism that us New Englanders love to indulge in (especially when it’s to spite those filthy New Yorkers). Instead, I was left disappointed, like my onion rings were yesterday’s reheated leftovers.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 8, 2021
I received this book as an ARC from BookSirens and all opinions are my own.
From the author: "Many children wish that every day could be Christmas. For one year, Jim Sutton and his family found themselves living that dream. As dreams go, however, it turned out to be more of a nightmare. The events of that fateful year weigh heavily on the mind of Jim as he returns to Vermont to write his book. There are more secrets than just onion rings to be found in the Green Mountain State."
Who doesn't love onion rings? I sure do and I have to admit, I was kinda hoping for more hints about where to find good ones, even fictitious ones, in this book. I expected a bit more talk about crispy, golden, delicious deep-fried onions. Maybe it's a good thing it focused more on 2 separate times in Jim's life rather than on deep fried yumminess because I really don't need to eat that many onion rings.
It may sound strange, but I like books with unlikable characters who make me want to slap them for being so thick and uncaring. Bob and Linda are those two, but with flashes of hope that they might get their shit together and make it. I felt for their kids, although by every description of the young girl, she was whiny and annoying. Bob's boss is a jerk for whom there is no redemption. The people who work for Bob at the Snack Shack clearly have their own issues and think it's ok to boss their boss around.
Once we move into seeing Jim as an adult, we meet a whole new cast of rather unlikeable characters who are interesting and cleary hiding something. Cammy (short for Camaro), her brother Dodge and their obnoxious mother Abigail, as well as all of the unsavoury characters from their small town, which is not at all welcoming to outsiders (been there, bought the t-shirt). Once Jim is stranded in Strawberry Falls due to car trouble, the real trouble in the town starts and secrets unravel. I liked the Norman family for their dysfunction and I did not see the little twist coming (I sorta did, but I thought it would be 2 different people).
The books flips between chapters of Bob and Linda and then Jim on his onion ring quest. It was easy to follow the characters and their development and the plot line. There are a few moments that could cause you to shed a tear if you are so inclined and a few that might make you want to punch someone in the face. Imagining the Sutton's reaction to arriving in Christmas Town was amusing because if it were me, I'd have turned around and run back home right then.
I really enjoyed this book and I think it will be one I think about in the future - hoping that the characters find their own version of happiness in the end and that Jim finally writes a definitive guide to onion rings in Vermont.
From the author: "Many children wish that every day could be Christmas. For one year, Jim Sutton and his family found themselves living that dream. As dreams go, however, it turned out to be more of a nightmare. The events of that fateful year weigh heavily on the mind of Jim as he returns to Vermont to write his book. There are more secrets than just onion rings to be found in the Green Mountain State."
Who doesn't love onion rings? I sure do and I have to admit, I was kinda hoping for more hints about where to find good ones, even fictitious ones, in this book. I expected a bit more talk about crispy, golden, delicious deep-fried onions. Maybe it's a good thing it focused more on 2 separate times in Jim's life rather than on deep fried yumminess because I really don't need to eat that many onion rings.
It may sound strange, but I like books with unlikable characters who make me want to slap them for being so thick and uncaring. Bob and Linda are those two, but with flashes of hope that they might get their shit together and make it. I felt for their kids, although by every description of the young girl, she was whiny and annoying. Bob's boss is a jerk for whom there is no redemption. The people who work for Bob at the Snack Shack clearly have their own issues and think it's ok to boss their boss around.
Once we move into seeing Jim as an adult, we meet a whole new cast of rather unlikeable characters who are interesting and cleary hiding something. Cammy (short for Camaro), her brother Dodge and their obnoxious mother Abigail, as well as all of the unsavoury characters from their small town, which is not at all welcoming to outsiders (been there, bought the t-shirt). Once Jim is stranded in Strawberry Falls due to car trouble, the real trouble in the town starts and secrets unravel. I liked the Norman family for their dysfunction and I did not see the little twist coming (I sorta did, but I thought it would be 2 different people).
The books flips between chapters of Bob and Linda and then Jim on his onion ring quest. It was easy to follow the characters and their development and the plot line. There are a few moments that could cause you to shed a tear if you are so inclined and a few that might make you want to punch someone in the face. Imagining the Sutton's reaction to arriving in Christmas Town was amusing because if it were me, I'd have turned around and run back home right then.
I really enjoyed this book and I think it will be one I think about in the future - hoping that the characters find their own version of happiness in the end and that Jim finally writes a definitive guide to onion rings in Vermont.
March 14, 2022
This book is told in two timelines- 1977, when the main character, Jim is a child and the summer of 2000, when Jim is taking a summer road trip to Vermont. He is a teacher on break and plans on writing a travel book about great places to eat onion rings throughout Vermont. His route has him ending at Christmas Town Island where he lived for a year.
He gets in a one car accident in a town named Strawberry Falls and the picture perfect town has something seriously weird going on.
Both timelines are filled with VERY unexpected events. I did not see either plot coming and you learn why Jim wants to finish his trip to Christmas Town.
This was a book that lulled me in thinking it was going to be a read about self discovery with maybe a bit about food, and it slowly and subtlety descended into something else all together.
He gets in a one car accident in a town named Strawberry Falls and the picture perfect town has something seriously weird going on.
Both timelines are filled with VERY unexpected events. I did not see either plot coming and you learn why Jim wants to finish his trip to Christmas Town.
This was a book that lulled me in thinking it was going to be a read about self discovery with maybe a bit about food, and it slowly and subtlety descended into something else all together.
March 18, 2022
I need a moment. Whew.
Two timelines wound together to tell some Vermont history, a family and a man on an adventure.
Jim and his family are packed in the car. 1977 - his dad buys a snack shack on Christmas Island, in Vermontm on a whim. Linda, Jim's mom, struggles to be optimistic. She gave up continuing her education to be a mom - Bob expected it.
It's a small island, small town not welcoming to strangers.
Jim leaves New Jersey as an adultn- to write about Vermont and onion rings. Barely in Vermont, Jim literally runs into a sign, forcing him to stay in Stawberry Falls.
This smooth, quirky novel takes gets pretty dark the last 15%.
Well written ode to childhood, the beginning at an end.
Two timelines wound together to tell some Vermont history, a family and a man on an adventure.
Jim and his family are packed in the car. 1977 - his dad buys a snack shack on Christmas Island, in Vermontm on a whim. Linda, Jim's mom, struggles to be optimistic. She gave up continuing her education to be a mom - Bob expected it.
It's a small island, small town not welcoming to strangers.
Jim leaves New Jersey as an adultn- to write about Vermont and onion rings. Barely in Vermont, Jim literally runs into a sign, forcing him to stay in Stawberry Falls.
This smooth, quirky novel takes gets pretty dark the last 15%.
Well written ode to childhood, the beginning at an end.
September 13, 2021
Don't be fooled, this isn't a travel book or a searing insiders look at the making of Onion Rings in the fast food industry. Instead, it is the story of Jim who is searching for a way to put some meaning into his life, to make a mark and to come to terms with a past that turns out to be grim and life changing. Traveling through Vermont, he meets Cammy in Strawberry Falls, and finds a fellow damaged soul who needs healing. Well written, engaging even when the subject matter is disturbing. There was no "big reveal" at the end but instead, confirmation that we do have the ability to heal ourselves given time and perspective.
*I was given this book through Book Sirens to read and review. That in no way influences my opinion.
*I was given this book through Book Sirens to read and review. That in no way influences my opinion.
September 5, 2021
Locations are brought to life so vividly that you’ll be reaching for a map to see if they all exist. The characters are beautifully flawed in the way that real people are. You may find yourself in one or more of them, as they struggle to make sense of the world and find meaning in it. Some of the moments are gut-punching, such as experiencing the pain of a dismissive friend’s actions for no apparent reason other than self-amusement. Relationships are rarely simple, sometimes co-dependent, sometimes one-sided, often complex. The story will stick with you, as both the tragic and the moments of hope have staying power.
March 22, 2022
The Onion Ring Lover’s Guide to Vermont by Kevin Stone follows Jim Sutton, a teacher working on a travel guide. In the summer of 2000, he sets out on a road trip from New Jersey to Christmas Town, an island on Lake Champlain, Vermont, where he lived with his family from 1977-78. His plan is to research the best places to eat onion rings, but when a car accident leaves him stranded in the picturesque town of Strawberry Falls, he discovers that things aren’t always as they seem.
I love Vermont, and even though this is a work of fiction, the tidbits of Vermont history sprinkled throughout this book were interesting. However, don’t let the title mislead you. Although it’s the title of the book the MC, Jim, is working on, the story doesn’t exactly follow Jim on a fun road trip during which he eats onion rings. Rather, it was like Jim’s trip down memory lane and coming to terms with events from his childhood - as he got closer to Christmas Town, more was revealed about the time he lived there as a child and his family’s past. The book actually took an extremely unexpected and dark turn toward the end. Despite having mistakenly thought that this would be about a fun experience living in a town where everyday was like Christmas and a road trip with numerous stops to enjoy delicious onion rings, I enjoyed this book.
*I received a gifted eARC in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
I love Vermont, and even though this is a work of fiction, the tidbits of Vermont history sprinkled throughout this book were interesting. However, don’t let the title mislead you. Although it’s the title of the book the MC, Jim, is working on, the story doesn’t exactly follow Jim on a fun road trip during which he eats onion rings. Rather, it was like Jim’s trip down memory lane and coming to terms with events from his childhood - as he got closer to Christmas Town, more was revealed about the time he lived there as a child and his family’s past. The book actually took an extremely unexpected and dark turn toward the end. Despite having mistakenly thought that this would be about a fun experience living in a town where everyday was like Christmas and a road trip with numerous stops to enjoy delicious onion rings, I enjoyed this book.
*I received a gifted eARC in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
March 9, 2022
I think this goes without saying, but this was a book that made me crave onion rings multiple times…and I don’t even like onion rings that much!
I wasn’t sure how to feel about this one at the beginning. I felt it was a bit slow and I didn’t connect to the portions that talked about the history of Vermont. Maybe if I lived there, I would’ve enjoyed the historical pieces more.
As I kept reading, I really got into the story and was actually super surprised by everything that happened! In the beginning, I got a bit of a real life Bob’s Burgers vibes (and the main characters of this book are also named Bob and Linda, which I thought was awesome). But as the story went on, it got pretty dark and intense and I changed my mind about my initial assessment.
Overall, I enjoyed the drama of this one and found myself getting more involved in the whole thing as I kept reading!
I wasn’t sure how to feel about this one at the beginning. I felt it was a bit slow and I didn’t connect to the portions that talked about the history of Vermont. Maybe if I lived there, I would’ve enjoyed the historical pieces more.
As I kept reading, I really got into the story and was actually super surprised by everything that happened! In the beginning, I got a bit of a real life Bob’s Burgers vibes (and the main characters of this book are also named Bob and Linda, which I thought was awesome). But as the story went on, it got pretty dark and intense and I changed my mind about my initial assessment.
Overall, I enjoyed the drama of this one and found myself getting more involved in the whole thing as I kept reading!
April 2, 2022
Don’t let the adorable title fool you. Not much of this book is about Onion Rings. This book is about Jim Sutton and his fam living a Groundhog Day-ish nightmare in a town that was Christmas all day every day all year round.
So fast forward 20 plus years later and Jimbo sets out to write a novel returning to the one place he said he never would. And he has a very interesting muse… Onion Rings.
I wish while he was writing his book we could have had some more insight on where these awesome onion rings were cause I personally love onion rings.
So fast forward 20 plus years later and Jimbo sets out to write a novel returning to the one place he said he never would. And he has a very interesting muse… Onion Rings.
I wish while he was writing his book we could have had some more insight on where these awesome onion rings were cause I personally love onion rings.
April 21, 2022
It was an okay book. I found it at a "books for a buck" event. Thinking the title sounded interesting I snatched it. But it wasn't really a good read, a number of misspellings and mediocre writing in fact. Sorry to report that it wasn't up to snuff. Someone else might really like it. I'd be interested in hearing other's opinions.
J.
J.
April 21, 2021
I don't like leaving bad reviews and this wasn't exactly bad but could have been better. Not so sure I like how he stereo-typed us as "Vermontsters" (my word not his) . Vermont isn't that stereo typed.
March 19, 2022
Filled with dark humor and a truly shocking reveal, Onion Ring Lovers is definitely a unique read. The quirky settings were my favorite aspect. I did think the book would benefit from another round of editing as there were several grammatical mistakes
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews