No Shame

by Tom Allen

'When I was 16 I dressed in Victorian clothing in a bid to distract people from the fact that I was gay. It was a flawed plan.'

No Shame is a very funny, candid and emotional ride of a memoir by one of our most beloved comedians. The working-class son of a coach driver, and the youngest member of the Noel Coward Society, Tom Allen grew up in 90s suburbia as the eternal outsider.

In these hilarious, honest and heart breaking stories Tom recalls observations on childhood, his adolescence, the family he still lives with, and his attempts to come out and negotiate the gay dating scene. They are written with his trademark caustic wit and warmth, and will entertain, surprise and move you in equal measure.

Genres: Nonfiction, Audiobook, Biography, Comedy, Memoir, Autobiography, Humor

304 pages, Hardcover

First published November 12, 2020

Reviews

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

****Fourth time reading. Okay I'm going to stop updating now. Suffice to say this is a book I will be reading regularly for forever...

***Third time reading. I think we can safely say this is a favourite for me!

**Second time reading - loved it again (sur-prise!)

I loved this so much that I'm going to listen to it again straight away!

Too short Tom, more please!

As with all autobiographies, they are even more subjective than fiction books because you need to like the person and have some connection with them. Tom's stories of his school days (hideous and feeling like an outsider) really resonated with me.

It would be difficult for me to recommend this if you don't know Tom Allen so go google his stand up...then get the book!

Tom is right; bringing humour to awkward and embarrassing situations DOES heal the shame!

Loved all the anecdotes and the way Tom delivered via audio was superb.

This was a super comforting read for me at a time I really needed it (read during lockdown 2020) hence why I'm reading it again right now!

[Hamad · Rating 3 out of 5]

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Reading an Autobiography of someone you don’t know may sound very weird and this is exactly what I did with this book. I did not know Tom Allen prior to reading this book so I think I did not have the optimal experience to be fair. I did check out a couple of his videos after finishing the book and he seems like a nice person.

I don’t remember how I came upon this book but I wanted to read it because it was a memoir by a queer guy who happens to be a comedian so I thought it should be fun. The book is divided into 11 chapters each with a title of a skill like Working, Driving…etc. So I think the writing was not bad but I expected a bit more, I expected it to be more funny but I thought it was somewhat bland. There were a lot of British and old references that I did not understand and I think if I did, I would have had a better experience.

I know queer authors only got more publishing choices recently so I think the younger queer folks could appreciate this book more than I did. Oftentimes, I thought Allen was just talking and talking and it got us to no where. I specially liked the last chapter and the epilogue and I think they kind of have a message that I did appreciate!

Summary: I think it is an okay book, it did have some humor in it but I think Allen has a presence that is hard to capture in words so watching him works better than reading his works -at least for me-. I wanted more but I guess what we have will work for the time being!

[Mandy White (mandylovestoread) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was the perfect audio book for me to listen to now. It was funny and clever and took my mind off all the things I am stressed about.

[Bill · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was fortunate enough to see Tom Allen on tour a couple of years ago & he is still one of the funniest comedians I've seen.
No Shame looks at his early life, although it does read like his stand up routine with perhaps more sincerity. There are some wonderfully amusing tales. I especially enjoyed reading about his school life & his desire to to hold a "luncheon" for some of his friends. Other great stories include his first job serving deserts at a local golf course restaurant & being a stand up comedian on a Mediterranian cruise ship where the passengers were all gay Americans.
I've always liked Tom Allen & after reading this book I find I like him even more.

[Indieflower · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Tom Allen and I loved this tale of his many misjudged attempts to "fit in" (I also now love Tom's parents ☺️). A very quick and funny read, you can hear Tom's voice throughout, I just love his turn of phrase, I laughed out loud more than a few times, I think I would've enjoyed the audio book even more, 4.5 stars.

[Ellen Nacey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny, heart-warming and full of truth. I love Tom Allen and it was touching to know more about his life and his experiences. A lovely auto-biography!

[Rosemary Standeven · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a very enjoyable audio autobiography by a stand-up comedian, Tom Allen. It takes him from his childhood in Bromley (near London), England as a very self-conscious young boy, terrified that people would discover he was gay. His coping mechanism was to dress up as a Victorian gentleman, and to adopt a very posh accent quite different to that of his fellow Bromley classmates – the idea being that if he looked/acted weird enough, no-one would question his sexuality. Added to that a preoccupation with fine dining etiquette and its associated cutlery, and a desire to grow up to be a butler – it was amazing that he was not outed very early on. His rock-bottom self confidence continued throughout his teenage years and well into his adulthood. Even in his early stand-up career he seriously doubted that anyone would understand his humour and where he was coming from, and would actually pay to hear him. Finally, he was able to accept himself, revel in being gay, and become the highly sought-after comedian who is now seen everywhere on TV, thanks in no small part to the encouragement and support of many of his fellow comedians.
At the end of the book, he writes a letter to his teenage self – telling himself that things definitely do get better, and that it is possible to live a full productive gay life, with no need for feelings of shame.
Recommended to any Tom Allen fans, stand-up comedian fans and to people interested in the blossoming of a shy young man, whether in the closet, out, straight or other.

[Sarah G · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed it, especially the part about when Tom was growing up. It was well-written but I felt the narrative lost focus after Tom left school and jumped unevenly and too quickly to the present. I lost the sense of time and place that was very clear in the earlier part of the book. Still a big fan though!

[Samuel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilarious, a real hoot. And the narration by Tom himself made the book even funnier.

[Kathryn · Rating 5 out of 5]

My god, I LOVED this book and I LOVE him.

"If nothing else, I've come to realise that nothing's really weird. We're all just trying to get through the day, and the night. Sometimes it's just simply connections we need; to feel that we're worth spending time with, even if it's just for a short time."

10/10

[Victoria Williamson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love Tom Allen and LOVED the book. I listened on audible and it was read by him. Just the tonation is genius. Enhanced the experience massively. Laughed and laughed.

[Theediscerning · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think the fair response to this is that it's very much the book we'd expect – well-written and enjoyable, anecdotal, and very right-on about being a young gay man in a fairly spunkless suburb of London. It turns out from what he says of his early comedy routines that life-long Tom Allen fans would have heard some of these stories, either from his sets or chat show appearances since – and there was a lot that was familiar about the 'dislodging from the water-slide' scene. But extended anecdotes, such as him gearing up to a luncheon party to get into the boxers of his intended first love, even though the lad concerned was straight, are still going to be good ways to pass the time. The narrative is of the young Tom, crippled with self doubt and seemingly self-destructing insistence on being off-kilter and not one of the quote/unquote "normal" people, slowly rising to fame and acceptance through the medium of being a sartorial stand-up. A detailed chapter regarding a booking on a gay men's Mediterranean cruise break, where he at last found an ease in bringing some of the heads-up, speaking-to-more-than-one-person aspect of his performance to real social life, seems to put a lot of the praise for that on the Americans on board. Well, the American audience would lap a book like this up, and it would join the thousands from people you've never heard of who have three Netflix titles to their name already, and nothing better to do than put their "I grew up with this about me that was unusual so you better bloody like me" shtick across 300pp. This is superior for being better than that, more natural-seeming, more honest and much less unpleasantly self-congratulating and overly self-aware. Plus it's refreshing to have an entry to this genre with British frames of reference – just the mention of the areas of the school left for you to abandon your rucksacks at lunch brought back floods of images.

[Jo Ring · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyed this sad/funny book.

[Hannah G · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. I’m a fan & listened to this which was brilliant. But I felt that Tom held a lot back - while that is entirely ok it made this a less interesting memoir.

[Rae · Rating 4 out of 5]

PopSugar Reading Challenge 2021: A book in a different format than what you normally read (audiobook)

This was my first Audiobook experience and I'm glad I picked it because Tom Allen is very easy to listen to.

I found his book to be heartwarming, relatable and amusing.

[Jenshotmail · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to this as an audio book, read by Tom Allen which made it even more poignant and funnier. His reflection on being different from a young age highlighted both his struggle and also the importance of a loving, supportive family. But it’s written in a lighthearted, funny way and thank god Tom continues to do things his way. Loved it, laughed out loud and why aren’t there more dessert trollies nowadays!!!?

[Jonathan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've watched Tom Allen for a few years now, and always found him hysterical.

His book was easy to read and the right length (so naturally gets a better rating then Michael McIntyres), the only thing that stopped it from getting 5 stars was that I would have liked a few more of his jokes in it.

That being said, it's written with Tom's natural 'flair' which in itself is warming and personable.

[Mark Allen · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting insight into the mind of Tom Allen. His struggles with coming out, not getting into university and being a 46 year old man in a child's body who likes to dress to impress are very telling.

An open and frank account of his life to date that speaks out from the pages with his own inimical style.

[Shae · Rating 4 out of 5]

hilarious and heartfelt

[Hannah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really like Tom Allen. Definitely recommend listening to the audiobook.

[Sophie Narey (Bookreview- aholic) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the second book by Tom Allen I've read/listened to and I absolutely loved it!

I went for the audio book version mainly because I think he has an incredible way of telling stories when listening too him. I have seen him on many comedy shows and listening to the book make it really feel like you are at one of his shows and you can imagine the way his body language is.

The book itself is funny but also very sweet through the humor there is life lessons we can all take away from it such as being yourself and not trying to be like the majority.

I would absolutely recommend this book it's brilliant!

[Leoniepeonie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened to the audiobook read by Tom himself, and it was an absolute delight. All the chapters had really interesting, quite specific themes, and I really liked the way it moved through his life via things like swimming and driving and otherwise apparently mundane, quite niche topics. It was v v funny and naturally because Tom is a comedian it translated so well to being an audiobook. Allen has led a really interesting life in so many ways and I loved the way he picked out the madness in suburban Bromley. I loved hearing his perspective on things in what often became quite a touching conclusion at the end of each chapter, and it was a solid, very affirming read.

[Dylan Kakoulli · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tom, this is far too short!

Aside from that, this book is brilliant. It’s both humorous and heartwarming. I highly recommend the audiobook as the man himself narrates and it is E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G!!!

4 stars

[Sharron Joy Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a wonderfully funny and charming memoir. Tom is hilarious but this shows how deeply insecure and unsure he was and still is to a degree. But, even though he is not confident in himself he does the scary things anyway, the definition of brave.

This covers his life through school to stand up and some of the events had me crying laughing, he was like Little Lord Fauntleroy from birth it seems and desperate for people not to know he was gay. I just wanted to be his friend, I still do! He is also a wonderful writer and exceptional raconteur, a great read!

[Meg Scarbie · Rating 4 out of 5]

we must protect tom allen at all costs

[Helen the Bassist · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very readable and I found it fascinating that Tom has been dressing as a Victorian throwback for decades. He does say in the blurb that some aspects of the book have been fictionalised but I could see pretty much all of it happening to him. It was interesting and also quite sad to read about the insecurities he had and probably still has. Well worth a read if you like a celebrity biography.

[Lesley Halliday · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this autobiography. Loves how honest he is. Highly recommend

[Charlotte Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

British comedian Tom Allen is hilarious in his new memoir. I listened to this on audiobook, narrated by Tom himself, and it really brought each of the characters to life, particularly Tom’s wonderful parents.

I’m not going to mark this book down for covering some of the stories Tom tells in his standup because it’s his life story and these stories are integral to showing his long journey to coming out as gay. The book is also potentially for a different audience so I don’t think this is a problem, I still thoroughly enjoyed it!

Aside from being really funny, I think Tom’s journey to accepting himself as a gay man and opening up to other people will be an important read to anyone in the LGBTQIA+ community. He discusses what it’s like growing up questioning your identity whilst bullies are point out your differences. This book isn’t just how he became a standup comedian but how he learnt, with the help of his dad, to stand up for himself.

Overall I would highly recommend this. The only thing taking it down to 4 stars instead of 5 is that it is quite short and I could have enjoyed it more if it was longer.

4 out of 5 stars!

[Keith Johnstone · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a pleasant read, I am a fan of Tom Allen and enjoyed his story. I wonder if Mr Allen has read the Velvet Rage, this book would be a good appendix to that as it articulates well the felling of shame and ‘otherness’ that gay people feel. Conversely we also see in this book Mr Allen’s exceptional ability to closely watch and truly see people which allows him to be such a good comic. I couldn’t help but feel that there wasn’t enough in this book though, it felt like we didn’t get the full story but a slightly sanitised version and that some of Mr Allen’s ‘voice’ was missing. I also wonder if more research could have been done into ‘shame’ and what it means and drawing more direct parallels with the writers life. Perhaps this was an editing or publisher issue or was it the authors fear of upsetting people

[Katie Hazel · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 STARS!! I picked this up on a whim in Waterstones, thinking “I watch Tom Allen” let’s see what his autobiography is like. But this was such a good read. Tom talks about growing up in 1990s London, gay. And how kids used to pick on him (somethings never change!) because of his accent, his choice of clothing and sexuality. Just over 200 pages long, this is a perfect, comedic, candid account of teenage life for Tom. I could hear his voice as I read it, which made it more enjoyable. I loved this, and think it’s a must read.