She’s smoking hot, charming, and probably twice my age but damn it I’m going to do it. I’m going to ask her out. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Today! Even if she’s out of my league and I don’t stand a chance. I have to try something. All I know about her so far is that her name’s Evelyn, she has a huge rack, an hourglass figure and she moved into my apartment building last month. I can’t stop thinking about her, which means there’s only one thing to do. Get my ego crushed. Or get a date, then get my ego crushed. Or maybe Fate will lend a hand and we’ll crush our lips and bodies together instead.