My Macaroni And Cheese Is A Lesbian Also She Is My Lawyer

by Chuck Tingle

Mona is on trial, and she’s absolutely terrified. After saying that chocolate milk is “better than sick water”, she’s being sued by water itself for a billion dollars. Fortunately, this food and beverage based case is the perfect fit for her sentient macaroni and cheese lawyer Hemma.



After showing off her skills on their first day in the courtroom, Mona and this living pasta dish go out to celebrate, and thinks quickly turn hot and heavy. Now the two of them are back at the office in the throughs of lesbian living food action, but will their hardcore encounter set in motion the death of their very own court case?



This erotic tale is 4,300 words of sizzling human on sentient mac and cheese action and living lesbian meal love.

Genres: Romance, Lesbian, Humor, LGBT, Short Stories, Gay, Fantasy

37 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 5, 2020

About the author

Chuck Tingle is a mysterious force of energy behind sunglasses and a pink mask. He is also an anonymous author of romance, horror, and fantasy. Chuck was born in Home of Truth, Utah, and now splits time between Billings, Montana and Los Angeles, California. Chuck writes to prove love is real, because love is the most important tool we have when resisting the endless cosmic void. Not everything people say about Chuck is true, but the important parts are.

Management and general inquiry: infotingleverse@gmail.com

Literary agent: DongWon at dongwonsong.com

Reviews

[Faith · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mona may be good at eating 🐱, but she is a horrible lawyer.

ETA: When I said Mona, what I meant was Hemma (Mona is the other FMC, oops). It was very late when I wrote this 😂

[Oliver · Rating 0.5 out of 5]

I was not expecting a lot here and that is about what we got. I truly am the only one to be blamed here for this. I laughed, I cried, and then we got to the Unicorn story...

Trust me - you do not want to get to the Unicorn story. I need a shower. And some holy water. Possibly a full-on decontamination procedure.

10/10 would recommend.

[Mona Kabbani · Rating 5 out of 5]

this was quite the experience

[Emily Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a work of high comedic art (and sentiment macaroni.)

I never thought I would read macaroni smut but here I am. Personally I’m allergic to dairy so this book presented a whole new level of feared relationships.

I feel like this book needs an exorcism but I mean that in the best way. It’s absolutely hilarious but the memory of the cheesy-carby sex scenes will haunt me for eternity.

After reading a Shrek fic on AO3 I thought I had seen it all but alas. Shrek seems tame in comparison to macaroni giving oral (seriously why does she have a tongue?)

Rep// Sentient lesbian macaroni mc (no that’s not a metaphor, she’s fkn macaroni), sapphic mc. Central relationship is sapphic.

Yes this is pretty spicy. And not in the macaroni has cayenne in it kinda way.

[Maya · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm so honored to be the first person to review this book. An enjoyable, quick read; however, it lacks physical descriptions of the Mac n Cheese, named Hemma--she eyes up the narrator but I wasn't aware that she even had eyes. Hemma also appears not to leave sauce on everything she touches, which seems like an oversight, personally. Also needed just one more pass on proofreading. The sex scene is adequate and somewhat takes advantage of one of the partners being macaroni and cheese in amusing ways.

The advertised story only covers 26% of the book, you get another surprise story too.

[Lou Ambrose’s Library · Rating 2 out of 5]

So I read this. It was a wild ride. I was confused about how the macaroni could walk but you know I did laugh so I can’t give it one star 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Giggletalks · Rating 5 out of 5]

All I could ever want….

[Ed Erwin · Rating 3 out of 5]

The title story is very short. Only about 1/4 of this short e-book. Then there is a sexy lesbian unicorn smut story for the next 1/4. The final 1/2 of the book is a list of other books by Mr. Tingle. That list may be the best part! (So! Much! Butt! Pounding!)

[Chrissy · Rating 1 out of 5]

what did i just read

[Walter Eadie · Rating 3 out of 5]

The first Chuck Tingle short story I've ever read, I was shocked to discover that My Macaroni and Cheese Is A Lesbian Also She Is My Lawyer is, in fact, a surprisingly deep and nuanced portrayal of what hardships any struggling, middle-class, woman may have to go through when she finds herself being sued by water for saying chocolate milk is better.

This relatable scenario powers a nail-biting plot in which chocolate milk enjoyer Mona and her macaroni and cheese lawyer discover just how challenging it can be to go up against a major corporate entity capable of funding only the best and brightest lawyers in the business. Things take a turn for the tense after a bout of passionate love making renders the macaroni and cheese too overcooked to represent Mona on the final day of court. Will Mona escape a lifetime behind bars? Will the macaroni and cheese recover from the too-hot sex? Is chocolate milk better than water?

My Macaroni And Cheese Is A Lesbian Also She Is My Lawyer will leave you gripping tightly to the edge of your seat as you laugh, cry, fear, jump up and down, run, swim, sleep, dread, and casually browse your way through the riveting text.

[Layla]

Well.... this was something I read.
Willingly 🤣

So this Mac and Cheese plate is sentient and turns into a lawyer who wins the other MC's case.
Then they have sex and because the sex is TOO HOT, the sentient Mac and Cheese gets overcooked.

I KID YOU NOT.

This was amazingly disturbing.
Bravo Mr. Chuck.

No rating because how the hell would I rate this. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Bella · Rating 5 out of 5]

Come on…really?

[Joel · Rating 3 out of 5]

"All rise for Judge Tingle!"

[Ella · Rating 5 out of 5]

That was everything I wanted it to be

[Shibosan]

Much respect to the narrator for managing to not break down (almost) at certain points.

[Sherry · Rating 4 out of 5]

“My Macaroni and Cheese is a Lesbian Also She is My Lawyer” by Chuck Tingle
I bought this book for the title and stayed for the goodhearted nonsense. There is an earnest sincerity to the author’s voice despite what I perceived as a humorous title. A unique, blessedly short read.

[Simone · Rating 3 out of 5]

It both is exactly what it looks like, and then something more. This book has a secondary story involving unicorns which made me want to peel my retinas from my face, but otherwise a fun silly read.
I'm still questioning how I'm more messy existing than the sentient mac, but maybe that's on me.

[Karin Baxter · Rating 1 out of 5]

I can't be mad at the author for my choice to read this. I did it to myself and, ultimately, I must bear the consequences of that.

But, seriously, what the actual F?

I'm not opposed to something a bit daft, a bit short or even a bit underdeveloped... This, however, was the worst of all three. I'm STILL confused about how the macaroni cheese became a fully formed person? Or a person shaped thing? in order to engage in this novella's activities. I just don't think it's been well thought through at all, which made it even more ridiculous (and, sadly, not in a funny way).

The best thing I can say about this is that it was blissfully short. Would not recommend.

[PickmeChooseme.Readwme · Rating 2 out of 5]

“The most amazing thing about all this, however, is the taste. The pussy of this living food is absolutely incredible, a perfectly cooked meal of warm macaroni and cheddar cheese that melts in your mouth and fills you with savory, salty goodness. I lap away at her happily, enjoying the snack as Hemma writhes in pleasure above.”

She’s eating her out as she EATS her. Lmaoooo, the only thing I absolutely loved, that’s why it gets 2 stars.

[Saphi · Rating 2 out of 5]

When you read a hundred book a year you have to get a few joke ones in the mix because we need to... This one is funny but god is it bad, like what do you mean this title is real? Anyways, if you want to read something non-serious, this may be fun, but it quickly lost charm, I've read 1000 page books that are boring that are more captivating than this.

[Samantha ☾⋆ · Rating 2 out of 5]

This one was a bit of an odd one for sure, it's one that your not getting for the story line because there really isn't one it was just a short book full of straight smut in the oddest way. I would still recommend it though if your wanting a bit of a book cleanser for a quick read in-between other books.

[Jo campos · Rating 3 out of 5]

My main complaint was that it was to short. I knew it was going to but it is only like 30 pages and that to me is just too short. There's not enough description and explanation. Otherwise I thought this was a funny gag read.

[Gnome ForTheBooks · Rating 4 out of 5]

Let’s be honest, you are not reading this book for plot, but to see what and how. And no doubt if you pick this up you will discover just if the Mac N Cheese helped win the case and if she was able to win over her client as well.

[Chase · Rating 3 out of 5]

lmao!!! not as good as the others but still amusing

[Chelsey · Rating 1 out of 5]

no. no. no.

[Michelle B · Rating 4 out of 5]

LMFAO

[Christina _readingwhilewet · Rating 1 out of 5]

🤣🤣🤣🤣
WHAT WAS THAT

Honestly, I did it to myself out of curiosity.

My husband and I were in tears laughing at this story.

Then we hit the unicorn story 🤣 lord.

10/10 recommend

[India Anker · Rating 5 out of 5]

phenomenal

[Jo Watson]

You know what, you need to read a Chuck Tingle from time-to-time! I will never look at Mac and cheese in the same way again, or lawyers. I really do enjoy a good Tingler.

[beepboop4]

great story