Cum recunoști minciuna: Tehnici dovedite de detectare a înșelătoriilor, de înțelegere a caracterelor și de determinare a adevărului

by Pamela Meyer

GET TO THE TRUTH

People--friends, family members, work colleagues, salespeople--lie to us all the time. Daily, hourly, constantly. None of us is immune, and all of us are victims. According to studies by several different researchers, most of us encounter nearly 200 lies a day.

Now there’s something we can do about it. Liespotting links three disciplines--facial recognition training, interrogation training, and a comprehensive survey of research in the field--into a specialized body of information developed specifically to help business leaders detect deception and get the information they need to successfully conduct their most important interactions and transactions.

Some of the nation's leading business executives have learned to use these methods to root out lies in high stakes situations. Liespotting for the first time brings years of knowledge - previously found only in the intelligence community, police training academies, and universities - into the corporate boardroom, the manager's meeting, the job interview, the legal proceeding, and the deal negotiation.

WHAT'S IN THE BOOK?

Learn communication secrets previously known only to a handful of scientists, interrogators and intelligence specialists.

Liespotting reveals what’s hiding in plain sight in every business meeting, job interview and negotiation:

• The single most dangerous facial expression to watch out for in business & personal relationships
• 10 questions that get people to tell you anything
• A simple 5-step method for spotting and stopping the lies told in nearly every high-stakes business negotiation and interview
• Dozens of postures and facial expressions that should instantly put you on Red Alert for deception
• The telltale phrases and verbal responses that separate truthful stories from deceitful ones
• How to create a circle of advisers who will guarantee your success

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Science, Self Help, Communication, Business, Personal Development

272 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2010

About the author

Pamela Meyer is founder and CEO of Calibrate, a leading deception detection training company, and of social networking company Simpatico Networks. She holds an MBA from Harvard, an MA in Public Policy from Claremont Graduate School, and is a Certified Fraud Examiner. She has extensive training in the use of visual clues and psychology to detect deception.

Reviews

[Rob Freund · Rating 3 out of 5]

Rating: 3 stars for good content, good references, good ideas. Minus 2 stars for hocking her own services in the book, being "for business only" in many respects.

Pamela Meyer first intrigued me when I saw her TED talk on deception. There were two key concepts that I’d latched on to and that are echoed in her book. Firstly, that deception is a cooperative act; we buy into deception because of a core desire to have filled (greed, vanity, blissful ignorance, absolution, etc. etc.) The second concept involved striving not to be deception detectors in our daily lives, but truth promoters; a highly optimistic and idealistic concept that I appreciate as a soon-to-be counselor, and one that I think changes the perception of understanding deception. So often people get afraid of me when they learn I’m interested in nonverbal behavior because they think I’m going to scrutinize and “catch” them. However, when you look at it in the terms that Meyer puts it, “truth promoting” it takes on a different tone. There’s a perceptual shift into an attitude of, “I don’t want to withhold truth or have it withheld from me,” that I think we can all appreciate.

If I had to break the book up into categories, I would say it would be three parts:

- the history/recognition of emotions and nonverbals,
- verbal behaviors and conversational techniques (specifically the BASIC method,)
- all of this, applied to business.

Overall, Meyer does a good job of covering the bases of deception and nonverbal communication. I almost despaired when I started reading and did not see references, but thankfully she uses those little footnote numbers that refer you to the end of the book. To her credit, Meyer does a good job of backing up information with sources, and there are some at which I plan on going back to take a closer look. I did not detect anything that hadn’t been covered in other similar texts (work by Joe Navarro and Paul Ekman, specifically) but what does act in the author’s credit is her conversational style and use of examples and statistics. You don’t go more than a page or so without coming across a little text box that has some facts or tips in it; almost like an informational cocktail party in that respect. I do have a slight wrinkle to raise about this portion; Meyer’s descriptions of nonverbal behavior are very conclusive in their descriptions. “This means thus and so, and watch for this because it indicates they’re likely not being honest.” I would have liked to see more emphasis placed on context and comparison of behavior with a baseline (there was some, but diminished); there is no set nonverbal behavior that screams “LIAR!” and anyone hoping to study this needs to have this firmly established. Meyer doesn’t do that, and it bothers me.

The verbal portion was what I found to be the most interesting. Meyer does a spectacular job of walking the reader through different evasion techniques and indicators that an individual might not be communicating honestly. Her BASIC conversation method is both simple and profound; I found myself picturing ways that I could apply it to my job working with the freshman students and I think it’s one of the things I will be trying to carry over into application. I won’t go over the specifics of BASIC, simply because it’s Meyer’s property and if I spilled the beans on the details, you wouldn’t read the book, and I might get in trouble. So, best to avoid both possibilities. To me the best thing about this portion of the book is the clarity and gradation of the material. The author doesn’t dump it on you and you focus on one concept long enough for it to sink in. Let’s face it, deception is a big subject, and to try and recall (then implement) everything you read is a huge task! For that reason I was grateful Meyer treated me like the BASIC neophyte I was/am.

The last portion of the book was, as I mentioned, the previous two parts as applied to business. Meyer discusses how deception comes into play in high stakes work environments, how little lies cause big problems, and how to ferret out whether an employee or candidate is being honest. She also discusses “Deception Audits” and how to select reliable, trustworthy business allies. I’ll be frank; this is the portion of the book I had issues with. Not because I’m anti business, but because there were times (cough, *Deception Audits* cough) when I felt like I was having a product marketed to me. “This is what a deception audit can do for you; this is why you need it; this is what can happen if you don’t use one; have someone come and train your people!” If Meyer were on an infomercial, a random audience member would then ask, “But Pamela, where can I possibly find someone to do a deception audit on my company??” Funny they should ask… I did some research, followed my hunch, and of course her website offers workshops for the very thing she describes. Now, I’m not balking at Meyer’s services (if you are a business leader, I think it would be very effective), I just resent being hocked a product within a product. It’s one thing to discuss a service like this. It’s another to pitch it. (I will now step off my soapbox.) The brain trust chapter was interesting and if I do go into business one day (which is possible, should I enter into private practice or something like that) I will probably try to implement her suggestions.

Granted, this book is designed to be marketed to business leaders; it’s a deception book aimed at a niche market, and I think Meyer does a good job of it. Now, obviously you’re looking for the million-dollar answer: Will I be a deception expert after reading this book? Well, no. However, you will have a good idea of what to look for in some potentially deceptive situations, and I have no doubt that you will notice some things without trying to. The key to remember in deception detection is that it takes incredible effort and practice to master. It’s both easy and difficult, and studying the information in “LieSpotting” won’t get you to that point, but it will help start you off on the journey. And, if you were to give it an additional read-through and made a concerted practice of applying her techniques/advice, I have no doubt you would become a competent interviewer.

[Schmacko · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is another that I’m reading in my extended study. It’s a pretty straightforward book about what people do and why the do it when they lie. It gives a clear indication on how to practice lie spotting, but it also brings up a good point:

The average human being lies 60 to 200 times a day. Almost all of these lies are harmless – lying by omission, lying to protect someone’s feeling, lying to aid social interaction. Sometimes we lie by talking; sometimes we lie by keeping our mouths shut. Sometimes we tell stories; they don’t harm anyone, but we have a deep need to tell them – to boost esteem, to sort through the truth, the create the plots of our lives in interesting and discernable chunks.

Most of these fibs don’t really matter in the long run, and many of them are subconscious. We can let them go, really. We don’t have to spot every lie. We just need to spot the lies that can adversely affect us. We need to be able to assess a situation, assess our risk in a situation, and then use our new abilities to protect ourselves.

Otherwise, Meyer says, we are complicit in the lie, because we let the person telling the lie (who is not a “liar,” because if he or she is, then we all are) get away with it.

Since I read this book, I’ve become more careful. I’ve spotted two situations where I might be hurt by someone else’s lie. I’ve also been able to ask them the types of questions Meyer suggests, so I could spot their lies easier. (And in both cases, there was some good indication that the truth wasn’t being told.) I’ve also started watching myself more – both the accidental stuff that might be a lie and the situations where I really have to question my selfish motives - so that I am as honest as humanly possible.

I feel like this is a book I’ll read again and again. I admit it could be a little more directive – it’d be awesome if it tied itself to a training video online. It’s also very simple, which is a plus and a minus. Still, I feel like this book has changed my life a little, so I have to give it five stars.

[Kathryn Anthony · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting book. I use some of the "tells" when I'm being honest (I say things like 'to be honest with you' because I'm a polite Canadian, and so I feel like I need to qualify anything remotely approaching bluntness. Similarly, I often use qualifiers like 'to my knowledge' about things that might potentially have changed since--maybe that's the law student in me). But the book emphasizes establishing a baseline set of behaviors for individuals, to account for such things, as well as for people who tend to fidget, etc. It also emphasizes looking at the totality of behavior, not one or two isolated or mildly manifested "tells". And even at that stage, it doesn't advocate jumping to immediate conclusions, but probing more, with open-ended questions, while trying to keep people comfortable, to help to confirm or dissipate any rising concerns.

Very interesting, and a nice, quick read. My only critique would be that the website should have a few resources to help enhance what's in the book. Many of the things are described, but it is difficult to know how that actually manifests. A YouTube search for videos from some of the experts mentioned in the text helped, but a few more resources would be nice. As it was, it didn't feel like I'd actually gotten the "training" that the book keeps mentioning will improve our lie spotting abilities (while hinting that the book is a reasonably proxy for it)--i felt instead that i had been introduced to the concepts of it. Still--intriguing stuff. I'm looking forward to testing it out, to see if I actually notice anything that I could identify one way or another. Without visual examples of each thing (and real ones, rather than by actors, for instance) I don't feel totally confident that I'd properly know what to look for... But I it would be pretty cool if it actually worked!

[Aaron Michaux · Rating 1 out of 5]

Reading this book, I wondered how many times Pamela Meyer distorted the truth, or made outright fabrications (e.g.: in the mini-biographies). There is a lot of reliance on the experiences of trained interrogators; however, interrogators do no better then amatures at lie-spotting. They just /think/ they are good at it. Also, there is no discussion on the role of delusions in lying. For example, trained interrogators illicit a surprising number of false-confessions (at least 15-25%), probably by inducing delusional thinking. Furthermore, extremely good liars are often deluded about what they are doing. It is a secret that they keep from themselves, and this fools our spidy-sense. For example, Lord Monckton is a very credible speaker if you only go by the techniques given in the book. However, just look into the references, and you can see that he lives in a complete and ever-increasing fabrication -- a textbook pathological liar.

I am disappointed that Meyer puts herself forward as an expert but she never displays skepticism about her special knowledge, or provide alternative viewpoints. There is extensive evidence that someone could learn these techniques, and /think/ they are a great lie-spotter, when in fact, they are creating a self-confirming narrative for themselves. And then harm is done. Meyer never addresses this crucial aspect of deception spotting.

Over-all, there is something unethical about the extraordinary claims and the real dangers of hubris. For that reason, be aware that when you read this book, you are travelling through Meyer's narrative, as she sees it, and there is more then one side to any story.

[Therese · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was an odd book - for a book that was supposed to be about how to tell when people are lying, ironically it came across often as disingenuous because of the extravagant claims it made about how it could give the reader an edge in being able to tell true from lies. Some of the "tips" seemed vague, unhelpful, and even contradictory. If someone puts a lot of detail in a story, in one part of the book that's a sign they're lying, while in another part of the book it's a sign of telling the truth. I also had to question a lot of the research cited - for example, she cited a study showing that married couples lie to each other less frequently than unmarried couples, while Sam Harris in Lying cites research showing the opposite (and with all his faults, I trust him more since he's an actual scientist). But you'd have to carefully question the methodology of either study, since it seems like that would be nearly impossible to measure in real life anyway.

She also relies heavily on the theory of "microexpressions," which as I understand it has been largely discredited - the main problem with microexpressions being that even if you're sensitive enough to register these brief flashes of strong emotions on people's faces, it doesn't mean you'll understand anything about why they're there. (I think I'm a pretty sensitive observer and other people's momentary facial expressions sometimes hit me like a ton of bricks, but since I often still have no idea what they mean, it yields about as much insight as getting yelled at in a foreign language.)

One of the few helpful parts of the book may have been where she talks very briefly about how we are often complicit in being lied to, because people see what they want to see, and liars and scammers prey on people's vanity and greed and lust - the implication being that maybe the best way to try to avoid being fooled to is simply to get better at setting one's ego and wishes aside and to train oneself to examine statements as objectively and unemotionally as possible.

[millie___s. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Prva polovina knjige je u skladu sa naslovom. Saznajemo šta lažljivci najčešće rade, šta kažu istraživanja, koji su motivi laganja. Zatim dobijamo metod B A S I C koji se primenjuje pri otkrivanju laži.

Druga polovina knjige je fokusirana na obmane u poslovnom okruženju. Uz konkretne primere finansijskih obmana, autorka je dala vrlo malo solucija kako se taj problem mogao izbeći.

[Carrie Poppy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fine.

[Jana · Rating 4 out of 5]

''The price of facing reality is ''ordinary misery''.

After Paul Ekman came back from Papua New Guinea, where he discovered that all people universally have 6 basic emotions: joy, sadness, surprise, fear, disgust and anger, he made presentations to therapists working in mental hospitals. They asked him something he had not previously considered: could the nonverbal behaviours Ekman was analyzing reveal whether a person was lying.

The therapists were concerned that mentally ill patients might successfully convince their doctors that they’d made enough progress to be released from the hospital, only to harm themselves as soon as they got the chance.

Ekman was intrigued. He filmed many hours of interviews with psychiatric patients, searching for certain expressions or gestures that might indicate the type and severity of mental disorders. Again, a frame-by-frame analysis was revealing. Ekman noticed that certain patients occasionally displayed fleeting emotions that seemed completely at variance with what they were saying. A subject might assure the interviewer that she felt fine - yet simultaneous with the words, an entirely different expression would cross her face.

The only patient who gave him proof that she was hiding something was named Mary. During her interview, she had assured her doctor that she felt fine and requested a weekend pass. Later, though, before receiving the pass, she admitted that she was planning to kill herself. Knowing this, Ekman and his colleagues studied her interview for hours.

''In a moment’s pause before replying to her doctor’s question about her plans for the future, we saw in slow motion a fleeting facial expression of despair, so quick that we had missed it the first few times we examined the film. Once we had the idea that concealed feelings might be evidenced in these very brief micro expressions, we searched and found many more, typically covered in an instant by a smile.''

At about the same time that Ekman conducted his study, a team of Swiss psychologists was interviewing patients at a psychiatric ward in Geneva. Half of these patients had attempted suicide. When the suicidal patients were asked if they still wanted to take their own lives, most of them revealed very brief looks of disgust or contempt - presumably for either their interviewers or for themselves and the lives they perceived as worthless. None of the non-suicidal patients demonstrated these expressions.

The courage to face reality is not one that comes naturally to many people; lying is a common - even understandable - adaptation to the difficulties of life. Researchers have long known that the more intelligent the species, the more deceptive it is; deception is part of being human, and it is an essential component of a functioning advanced society.

People who cannot lie or spot lies are at social disadvantage; there's even some evidence that this inability to deceive or spot deception indicates atypical brain development.

Lying is a cooperative act. No one can lie to you unless you agree to be lied to. Its power emerges when someone else agrees to believe the lie.

[Nathan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book thinking it would help me with some Biblical counselling cases (I'm a pastor, and sometimes have folks lie to me). It turns out the book is helpful only in some cases. As a theologian, I make a distinction between deception and violating the 9th commandment, and Meyer doesn't make that distinction. Ultimately, as a Christian the Bible calls me to believe my brother's word, and if I don't and am suspicious of him, that won't be helpful.

There are lots of interesting things in this book, and if you are involved in business transactions, it would be helpful to know this stuff. But if you're like me, it's not what you should be using.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I guess if I had some corporate espionage to uncover I might have paid more attention. I looked up the author's twitter account. I thought that the recent supreme court hearings would be an ideal case study for non-verbal emotions. However, she was surprisingly quiet on the subject. I did like her TED talk, however the book left me with the feeling that I would just be ulta suspicious of every human encounter.

[Tim Zornes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fascinating.

[John McGee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Build Trust

Building Trust is the only way to break the viscous cycle of deceit in our world. Great Book and Great Lesson.

[Kostas Manowar · Rating 1 out of 5]

Avoid

[Aman Mittal · Rating 2 out of 5]

"I'm the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life. It's awful. If I'm on my way to the store to buy a magazine, even, and somebody asks me where I'm going, I'm liable to say I'm going to the opera. It's terrible."

-J. D. Salinger, The Cather in the Rye

Being human and being able to communicate and understand each other with our spoken or written words, might make us feel superior in front of other species. We can be on the top of the food chain, the IQ chain and all other chains as much as we want. But I am must tell you, when it comes to 'lying', we are at the bottom of that chain. I believe no other animal on this planet has a tendency to lie as much as a human. But what motivates 'us' to lie?

If there are N number of lies one can lie about in a day, then there are N number of reasons for us to deceive. Being deceived is common and a constant process that we all are part of. Everybody lies. And to everyone. We all are victim to this contagious, never ending malady.

Pamela Meyer's book LIESPOTTING: Proven Techniques to Detect Deception which is a result of rigorous research on how to catch the lies and its disseminator. Her book put much emphasis on establishing behaviour for an individual to interpret things such as spotting lies. She starts off with a few narrative and interesting specimens that are enough to get a reader's attention. Most of these specimens are concentrated on the corporate world rather than day-to day life. The principles she define later on the book, are more concentrated on these examples, but many of them are applicable in our daily life.

The ultimate goal of Meyer's book, I deduce is that we should follow a behavioural pattern and our gut instinct (importantly). Her book focuses on the facial expressions, postures, how body language can have a major role when spotting a lie and some advice on verbal phrases and responses. Overall the concept is interesting and quite intriguing.

But Pamela's book failed to impress me much as her book concentrates on very least amount of specimen, some of which are straight forward, otherwise not enough content support her research. In the end, it appeared to more of a research paper than a book.

I'll only recommend this book if you have long weekend to spare and not to spend too much time with it otherwise.

2 out of 5!

[Alex Kenjeev · Rating 2 out of 5]

Don't read this book unless you have a lot of time to devote to prioritize learning and practicing what it teaches, both while you're reading the book and afterwards. I didn't, and for that reason I didn't get as much out of this book as I had hoped I would.

I read this book after seeing Ms. Meyer's TED talk on the subject of detecting lies. I was hoping it would help me improve at assessing the underlying realities of business conversations. I read it carefully but quickly - I didn't take the time necessary to practice observing, taking notes, etc. Some of the techniques require an "FBI mindset" and a dedication to tracking the subtlest changes in people's communications -- a skill that I respect but that I, like many people, can't put at the top of my priorities list.

All of that being said, I do recommend checking out her TED talk (www.TED.com), if nothing else because it's quite fascinating to see that there is such a science to catching deceit.

[Isaac · Rating 1 out of 5]

Disappointing... covered with anecdotal evidence to make the book longer. No real advice beyond vague guidelines. It even adds chapters that don't have anything to do with lie spotting (last chapter suggestions on creating a personal "support group" to discuss business...) E.g. most important advice summarised here:
- "trust your gut", because it's very complex to fake the body language for long periods of time, if somebody is lying they'll show contradictory signals, that may be picked by us unconsciously because we won't be able to pinpoint it, but we could tell there's something fishy.
- "know the other party", because then we can tell if something (e.g. a nervous tic) is usual for that specific person or it's something out of the normal (and therefore suspicious). Different people exhibit different patterns and there's no silver bullet to tell them apart easily or what they mean.

[Jesse · Rating 2 out of 5]

blech, what seems like a great idea for a book, becomes a poorly sourced coporate rant on negotiation. i read this after watching meyer's ted.com talk, which was kinda one long plug for her book. anyway i got the book from the library, and was subsequently dissappointed. anyone know of a good body language/ face reading book that's out there. you know one written with rigor, and focused upon the science of reading body language instead of ways you can use it to make money for your business. i mean i understand her angle and trying to find an audience for her book, but still try and be more rigorous, even the layout was like one of those Dummies books. alas.

[T · Rating 3 out of 5]

First half of the book is about lie detection, pure and simple. I found this portion to be extremely fascinating and will definitely continue doing research on my own.

The second half goes on to talk about ways to sure up your business/association with tips and tricks on building trusting relationships between employees and employers. It also outlines some good negotiation practices and other things probably more important to those with a more business-oriented mind. I was more interested in the sociological/psychological aspect so this half didn't interest me quite as much.

Overall a useful book for anyone interested in the truth.

[Maria Victoria Sanchez · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked Half of this book. Pamela Meyer does a wonderful case for her arguments about the importance of liespotting and how can you start to understand the language of lies (both speaking and body language). This is the part of the book that truly loved. The second part i didn´t enjoy at all because i feel that she was selling me her "auditories" and I can´t relate at al. I really hoped for more visual aid and more information on such an interesting topic. The book falls short to my expectations because i feel that the writer only gave a taste of the information. If you know any other book topic related i´ll be happy to hear suggestions

[Pamela Huxtable · Rating 2 out of 5]

There's nothing here here you haven't heard of or read of before. Verbal tells, physical cues, facial indicators and body language - it's all here, documented, and with an exemplary tale to go with it.

I have to say, I felt like I needed to take a shower after reading this. And I've decided that I'm okay with the little lies that I'm told - really, I mean it. Go ahead and lie to me. It feels better than analyzing every facial tic or verbal mark.

[Brian Williams · Rating 2 out of 5]

3 or 4 of the chapters are worthwhile. Those are the chapters that deal with actual lie spotting. The rest of the book is full of how to deal with people in big horrible corporations with deep hierarchy. The moralizing is also a but much to take.

[Jed Moore · Rating 1 out of 5]

Total nonsense. She makes a lot of claims that have been refuted. Some of the material is still relevant, but not much and she ruins that even by constantly plugging her services. It was difficult to get through the whole book and wasn't worth my time.

[Alceste · Rating 2 out of 5]

"I'm the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life. It's awful. If I'm on my way to the store to buy a magazine, even, and somebody asks me where I'm going, I'm liable to say I'm going to the opera. It's terrible."

-J. D. Salinger, The Cather in the Rye

Being human and being able to communicate and understand each other with our spoken or written words, might make us feel superior in front of other species. We can be on the top of the food chain, the IQ chain and all other chains as much as we want. But I am must tell you, when it comes to 'lying', we are at the bottom of that chain. I believe no other animal on this planet has a tendency to lie as much as a human. But what motivates 'us' to lie?

If there are N number of lies one can lie about in a day, then there are N number of reasons for us to deceive. Being deceived is common and a constant process that we all are part of. Everybody lies. And to everyone. We all are victim to this contagious, never ending malady.

Pamela Meyer's book LIESPOTTING: Proven Techniques to Detect Deception which is a result of rigorous research on how to catch the lies and its disseminator. Her book put much emphasis on establishing behaviour for an individual to interpret things such as spotting lies. She starts off with a few narrative and interesting specimens that are enough to get a reader's attention. Most of these specimens are concentrated on the corporate world rather than day-to day life. The principles she define later on the book, are more concentrated on these examples, but many of them are applicable in our daily life.

The ultimate goal of Meyer's book, I deduce is that we should follow a behavioural pattern and our gut instinct (importantly). Her book focuses on the facial expressions, postures, how body language can have a major role when spotting a lie and some advice on verbal phrases and responses. Overall the concept is interesting and quite intriguing.

But Pamela's book failed to impress me much as her book concentrates on very least amount of specimen, some of which are straight forward, otherwise not enough content support her research. In the end, it appeared to more of a research paper than a book.

I'll only recommend this book if you have long weekend to spare and not to spend too much time with it otherwise.

2 out of 5!

[Elliot Y · Rating 2 out of 5]

Maybe my standards changed on book reviews but I’d give this a 2.5. The author goes into interesting detail on factoids and personal stories, but the most interesting part of the book was a mix of the factoids and the method to become a better liespotter, more specifically, with the BASIC method. I think the entire book would benefit from more focus on getting the reader to test and fortify his or her understanding of this method. The test in the end of the book is a good example. However, much of the latter part of the book focuses on liespotting in a business setting, and throws the reader dozens and dozens of questions to ask employees, coworkers, and others, to spot lies. It felt like 2 or 3 different books combined into one (liespotting, how to negotiate, and personal stances / stories that aren’t always relevant)

Some notes

Pg 15. Only 7% of how humans normally communicate are with words. Wrong. Simple google search.

Pg 42 definition of a lie involves the intent to deceive but I’d argue that the word intent is important since it seems like most of us will have an “honest mistake” that may have been a subconscious lie imo.

I wonder if artists can tell apart liars

The list of questions that should be asked for a trust audit (or deception audit) seem exhausting and a bit useless in my opinion. If you want to build a culture of trust in an organization, wouldn’t you rather set up the incentive structure, the company culture, and other more abstract things (like office placement) in a way that is more inviting? Otherwise it just seems like additional paperwork to me.

Teach instead of say in my opinion

I like the focus on clusters, intuition, and a lack of judgement before coming to a verdict. This defeats arguments like if you see someone communicating awkwardly that doesn’t mean they are lying necessarily.

Gut reactions were an interesting side note

[Eimantas · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I first picked up this book back in 2014 after seeing the famous Pamela's TED talk, I was eager to obtain this superpower. But after reading the first two chapters, it started to make me paranoid and look for lies everywhere I go - a rather counterproductive perception. Now I realize that this book is not about that. To be able to spot lies you have to go deeper and understand their underlying motives. In the words of the book, "Back an opponent into a corner, and he’ll almost always lie to you. Find a way to connect with him, and he’s far likelier to tell you the truth. Trust and truthfulness can’t be forced; they can only be fostered."

The book is full of many useful tips and tricks on how to spot lies, what to look for and why people lie. It focuses on prominent, significant lies, not the little white ones. But it also stresses the importance of having a reliable network, open and trustworthy organizational culture and creating your brain trust - a circle of competent people who you can always rely on. All this can be achieved by wielding out deceptive people around you, and this is where liespotting steps in.

Thus, contrary to my initial impression, this book isn't meant to make you feel paranoid. It makes you cautious instead, which is great for an unwary people like me. It's a useful read for everyone who wants to be surrounded by trustworthy people in both professional and personal lifes.

[Việt Trung Nguyễn · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I firstly kicked off taking a glance at the title, I was rashly judging this book with its so-called negative content because it's about lies - which always be a thing that people think should not carry in their behavior. Turns out, after finished reading this book, my point of view in lie/deceit broaden quite a lot.

This book provides readers these main points:

1. Lie/deceit is kind of natural habits of not only human but also almost every single creatures since they were born. Speaking of that, judging lie as bad thing is relatively just objective if we do not have a closer look at why and how it was done.

2. When we scientifically take a look at lie/deceit, it is composed of links between the psychological and physical mechanism of each individual, from which the analysis of this behavior is absolutely possible.

3. This book does not advocate lie/deceit at all, it is only intended to help us - humans - get prepared to avoid encountering problems which can cause when we face it.

4. The content in this book covers many aspects of business lies and deceit, and indeed it gives very close examples that are often seen in anyone's daily work, so reading this book will somewhat help us.

[Asma · Rating 2 out of 5]

For a book about liespotting, the author definately wasn't as honest as she could've been. For examle: she ONLY cited researches that support her claims (Is it lying by ommision to not mention ones that go against what she believes?).
She also shared lots interesting statistics as facts that are kinda impossible to be true. I'm sure the studies she references re: lying in men vs. women / number of lies per day ....etc are all findings of existing studeis. However, I'm almost certain they are not the only ones out there. There can't be consensus in most of these statistics.

The first couple of chapter of the book discuss lies and elabprate on detecting them through verbal and non verbal communication. This part was the most interesting in the book and I liked that she inlcuded lots of examples and almost always highlighted that none of those signs were a definate indicator. The last couple of chapters were mainly for "business leaders" with no benefit to no one else. I think they could've been more generalized.

[Robert · Rating 2 out of 5]

There was no audible format listed, so I stated this was audio CD, but it was actually Audible.

The book is more about corporate culture than the individual. Write a transcript of a verbal contract and have others review it. Assign specific duties to the contracted. It is more difficult for someone to lie if duties are written out explicitly. Audits can confirm truth telling, and discourage weak and inconsistent messages. Truth audits in a company are ways of reinforcing positive behavior and discouraging bad incentives unknowingly given by upper management.

If someone gives a long story that does not focus on the emotive source of a problem, this is an indication of falsehood. Ask about specific details in the story to see if the story-teller has trouble recalling. Look for incongruities in expressions, logical progression, body posture, and overall feeling. Gut feelings are a warning that your intuition has noticed that something is off. Use this feeling to explore incongruities.


Real investigators tend to be more consoling than those in Law and Order.

People can help you see where you faltered better if you show that you failed.

[Robin Smith · Rating 3 out of 5]

I probably expected something that the author didn't plan to do: explain how to catch someone in the act of lying. There were a few clues mentioned, but almost the first half was explaining what a lie is, why we tell them, how rampant lying is, and why we need the ability to detect them. Another section was explaining that your company may wish to do a deception audit. Not a lot of this was explained either. You were told that you have to hire an outside company to do it, and this outside company will look at personal deceptions, company policies that have been fostering a lack of transparency, and so forth, but not methods you can start using today. Some of the individual tricks to ferreting out liars that ARE given are fact-checking resumes of job applicants and making sure that anything important to you in a negotiation is written out in the contract. Those are wise suggestions, but not liespotting techniques. The author gave several examples of people who told lies, but I would have appreciated a breakdown of HOW to discern falsehoods rather than a simple statement such as, "With liespotting techniques you can avoid this." "So, name a few!" is what I kept thinking.

[Austin Gaghadar · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a very quick and easy read with concise actionable recommendations for how to make sizeable improvements, suggesting very high return on investment. I look forward to putting in to practice and attempting to use the techniques advocated in the book. In addition the light tone of the book made it easy to keep reading and learn the different methods and make it likely that I will reference this book in the future whenever I am interested in brushing up on the key techniques and indicators. I found that the book did a good job of focusing on the subject matter at hand with a little context to keep it relevant and provide some perspective, and took a holistic approach to identifying deceptions which I valued. In addition I liked the last few chapters that took the scope a little further than just everyday life but within the category of trying to foster more honesty in our lives. Overall I think this book had the potential to improve my life and was light and enjoyable to read with short, clear and well organized chapters.