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Seeking Peace: Chronicles of the Worst Buddhist in the World
In this thoughtful and inspiring memoir, the author of the New York Times bestsellers Reviving Ophelia, The Shelter of Each Other, and Another Country explores her personal search for understanding, tranquility, and respect through her work as a psychologist and seeker.
“There are three kinds of secrets,” Mary Pipher says in Seeking Peace: Chronicles of the Worst Buddhist in the World. “Those we keep from everyone, those we keep from certain people, and those we keep from ourselves. Writing this book forced me to deal with all three.” After decades of exploring the lives of others through her writing and therapy, Mary Pipher turns her attention to herself—culling insights from her own life to highlight the importance of the journey, not just the destination.
Like most lives, Pipher’s is filled with glory and tragedy, chaos and clarity, love and abandonment. She spent her childhood in small Nebraska towns, the daughter of a doctor mother and a restless jack-of-all-trades father. Often both of her parents were away and Pipher and her siblings lived as what she calls “feral children.” Later, as an adult and a therapist, Pipher was able to do what she most enjoyed: learn about the world and help others. After the surprising success of Reviving Ophelia, she was overwhelmed by the attention and demands on her time. In 2002, after a personal crisis, Pipher realized that success and fame were harming her, and she began working to find a quieter, more meditative life that would carry her toward self-acceptance and joy.
In Seeking Peace, Mary Pipher tells her own remarkable story, and in the process reveals truths about our search for happiness and love. While her story is unique, “the basic map and milestones of my story are universal,” she writes. “We strive to make sense of our selves and our environments.” In Seeking Peace, Pipher reflects on her life in a way that allows readers to reimagine theirs.
“There are three kinds of secrets,” Mary Pipher says in Seeking Peace: Chronicles of the Worst Buddhist in the World. “Those we keep from everyone, those we keep from certain people, and those we keep from ourselves. Writing this book forced me to deal with all three.” After decades of exploring the lives of others through her writing and therapy, Mary Pipher turns her attention to herself—culling insights from her own life to highlight the importance of the journey, not just the destination.
Like most lives, Pipher’s is filled with glory and tragedy, chaos and clarity, love and abandonment. She spent her childhood in small Nebraska towns, the daughter of a doctor mother and a restless jack-of-all-trades father. Often both of her parents were away and Pipher and her siblings lived as what she calls “feral children.” Later, as an adult and a therapist, Pipher was able to do what she most enjoyed: learn about the world and help others. After the surprising success of Reviving Ophelia, she was overwhelmed by the attention and demands on her time. In 2002, after a personal crisis, Pipher realized that success and fame were harming her, and she began working to find a quieter, more meditative life that would carry her toward self-acceptance and joy.
In Seeking Peace, Mary Pipher tells her own remarkable story, and in the process reveals truths about our search for happiness and love. While her story is unique, “the basic map and milestones of my story are universal,” she writes. “We strive to make sense of our selves and our environments.” In Seeking Peace, Pipher reflects on her life in a way that allows readers to reimagine theirs.
256 pages, Hardcover
First published March 19, 2009
71 people are currently reading
872 people want to read
About the author
Mary Pipher
21 books338 followersMary Elizabeth Pipher, also known as Mary Bray Pipher, is an American clinical psychologist and author, most recently of Women Rowing North, a book on aging gracefully. Prior to that, she wrote The Green Boat, which was published by Riverhead Books in June 2013.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 148 reviews
July 25, 2014
This memoir is ostensibly about Mary Pipher's experience of achieving success as an author (with her book Reviving Ophelia), but finding she couldn't handle it and having a meltdown, and then reaching a kind of peace through Buddhist practice (hence the title).
Unfortunately, the majority of the book is not about that at all. Instead, we find out all about her family: the full story of her parents' lives up until Pipher is born (and after), as well as descriptions of Pipher's grandparents and all of her many aunts and uncles. Then we get into Pipher's childhood. From there it apparently continues on through all of Pipher's life, and we don't hear anything about the meltdown, the peace-seeking, and the Buddhism until over 150 pages into this 250-page book.
I say "apparently" because I gave up on page 70 after I looked ahead and saw what I was in store for. Don't get me wrong, I understand that some background is important to understanding who Pipher is today and why she couldn't handle the success of Reviving Ophelia. But there shouldn't be so much background that the ostensible point of the book becomes an afterthought. This book was, quite simply, not what it claimed to be.
This might have been OK if the stuff about Pipher's life and her family was written in an interesting way, but it isn't. It's plodding and repetitive. A disappointment all around.
When I first put this book aside, I refrained from giving it a rating. I thought I might go back and try again one day. However, the further I get from the book, the less I can imagine going back to it. So I'm changing my rating to one star, the grade I give to all books I cannot imagine finishing.
Unfortunately, the majority of the book is not about that at all. Instead, we find out all about her family: the full story of her parents' lives up until Pipher is born (and after), as well as descriptions of Pipher's grandparents and all of her many aunts and uncles. Then we get into Pipher's childhood. From there it apparently continues on through all of Pipher's life, and we don't hear anything about the meltdown, the peace-seeking, and the Buddhism until over 150 pages into this 250-page book.
I say "apparently" because I gave up on page 70 after I looked ahead and saw what I was in store for. Don't get me wrong, I understand that some background is important to understanding who Pipher is today and why she couldn't handle the success of Reviving Ophelia. But there shouldn't be so much background that the ostensible point of the book becomes an afterthought. This book was, quite simply, not what it claimed to be.
This might have been OK if the stuff about Pipher's life and her family was written in an interesting way, but it isn't. It's plodding and repetitive. A disappointment all around.
When I first put this book aside, I refrained from giving it a rating. I thought I might go back and try again one day. However, the further I get from the book, the less I can imagine going back to it. So I'm changing my rating to one star, the grade I give to all books I cannot imagine finishing.
September 10, 2013
"We all share similar journeys.We live through childhoods filled with ups and downs. We share houses with people who both love us and make us miserable. We pass developmental milestones,build identities and see them change. We fail miserably and we accomplish important goals. We make the best of it.We take turns being the afflicted and the comforter. We experience a crises and realize our old ways are not working. We stumble around lost and unhappy,only to see the light,find our own path and move forward. This is our universal human story....Every one of us possess what we need to flourish. None of are doomed." p232
These are the most important conclusions that MP has to share with the world after over 30 years as a therapist and keen observer of people. Instead of a how-to fix-it book,she has courageously chosen instead to write her autobiography,offering it in the chance that her story will be useful for others.
Inspiring it is,interesting,and yes,for me,useful in an immediate way;for this modest woman was born in the same era and grew up making the same shift in conciousness."I really did want to be a good girl,but I realized that it wasn't easy." she notices on p86 That she herself lacked confidence and underwent what she calls a complete meltdown when she acheived popular aclaim,let me have compassion instead of envy in her lucky life. With quiet humor and newly awakened compassion for herself,she gives her suggestions,the things that helped her soothe herself when it felt like she could not contain it all.
"What I had viewed as my pathology,I realize now is simply human experience." she realized at last.
p235" "I am better able to sort out the difference between "that's life" and "that's nuts."
Her definition of Religion is equally optimistic:Religions,she claims,are "metaphorical systems that give us bigger containers in which to hold our lives." Her discovery of Buddhism in particular is an encouragement for everyone who has ever struggled with a meditation cushion.Her prescription for the fragmented soul: mindfullness,attention to the moment, so that we can step however briefly out of the limits of Kronos,or chronilogical time,to enter kairos,sacred time.
"There is a sense in which many of us are fighting for our lives. We are struggling to be present for our own experiences....If we are lucky,occasionally we experience a sparkling moment when we break out of our trance of self and are fully present." p212
It is the number of these moments that we experience that makes us rich or poor,she has discovered, and "we are what we pay attention to" p217
These are the most important conclusions that MP has to share with the world after over 30 years as a therapist and keen observer of people. Instead of a how-to fix-it book,she has courageously chosen instead to write her autobiography,offering it in the chance that her story will be useful for others.
Inspiring it is,interesting,and yes,for me,useful in an immediate way;for this modest woman was born in the same era and grew up making the same shift in conciousness."I really did want to be a good girl,but I realized that it wasn't easy." she notices on p86 That she herself lacked confidence and underwent what she calls a complete meltdown when she acheived popular aclaim,let me have compassion instead of envy in her lucky life. With quiet humor and newly awakened compassion for herself,she gives her suggestions,the things that helped her soothe herself when it felt like she could not contain it all.
"What I had viewed as my pathology,I realize now is simply human experience." she realized at last.
p235" "I am better able to sort out the difference between "that's life" and "that's nuts."
Her definition of Religion is equally optimistic:Religions,she claims,are "metaphorical systems that give us bigger containers in which to hold our lives." Her discovery of Buddhism in particular is an encouragement for everyone who has ever struggled with a meditation cushion.Her prescription for the fragmented soul: mindfullness,attention to the moment, so that we can step however briefly out of the limits of Kronos,or chronilogical time,to enter kairos,sacred time.
"There is a sense in which many of us are fighting for our lives. We are struggling to be present for our own experiences....If we are lucky,occasionally we experience a sparkling moment when we break out of our trance of self and are fully present." p212
It is the number of these moments that we experience that makes us rich or poor,she has discovered, and "we are what we pay attention to" p217
January 7, 2020
If you think it might be good to readjust the way you think so that the world doesn't drive you bonkers....this is the book for you. Great thoughts on how to be more accepting of yourself and taking care of yourself.
November 15, 2010
Sometimes the right book just shows up when you need it most. That is the case with this book for me. I don't have a lot in common with Pipher, but this book resonates with me.
In 2002, Pipher fell into a deep depression. She had to learn about herself and how to care for herself. This is an important part of life for all people, I think. Although all older people don't fall into depression, I believe many of us start to examine our lives.
Have we been successful? What is success? Have we left a last legacy? Made a difference? These are some of the aspects of life that Pipher is examining in this book and I have been thinking about some of the same things. I appreciate her willingness to be so open about her life and letting us (me) eavesdrop on her internal conversation.
I know I need to read this again.
In 2002, Pipher fell into a deep depression. She had to learn about herself and how to care for herself. This is an important part of life for all people, I think. Although all older people don't fall into depression, I believe many of us start to examine our lives.
Have we been successful? What is success? Have we left a last legacy? Made a difference? These are some of the aspects of life that Pipher is examining in this book and I have been thinking about some of the same things. I appreciate her willingness to be so open about her life and letting us (me) eavesdrop on her internal conversation.
I know I need to read this again.
Read
March 12, 2021Did not finish. Good book. Not enough time to read them all.
January 3, 2023
As other reviewers have noted, this book is largely memoir and really not much about any connection to Buddhism. It was published in 2009 but I was drawn to it after reading the author's more recently published memoir, A Light on Life: Meditations on Impermanence (2022). Unfortunately there was a lot of overlap. I heard the same stories again and that was disappointing.
I had been drawn to the book because I was was curious about Pipher's path to Buddhism. But her path wasn't so much to Buddhism as to insights that helped her understand her own life and her own reactions to the world. She describes herself as "Buddh-ish" and I get that. What did work for me personally in the book was that I saw sides of myself in the author. I read about Pipher's intensity and her trials with anxiety. I could relate. I read about her childhood and discovered some of the influences that were also present in my childhood. She is maybe ten years older than I am and I found it interesting that my path as an older person seems to following her path. That was encouraging for me. She discovered insights that have helped her gain acceptance and openness to what is. I find myself discovering the same insights. I appreciated the shared experiences.
If you're looking for a light memoir with thoughtful reflections on life changes, then give this book a try.
A couple of quotes from the book that made me think a bit:
"For their own reasons, many people politely fall apart at some point in their lives. How they regroup and move on determines what their future will be." p. 13
"We are what we pay attention to." p. 217
"Psychologists estimate we have sixty thousand to seventy thousand thoughts a day, 90 percent of which are more or less what we thought yesterday. Our habits run our lives . Most of the time, we are phoning it in." p 217
I had been drawn to the book because I was was curious about Pipher's path to Buddhism. But her path wasn't so much to Buddhism as to insights that helped her understand her own life and her own reactions to the world. She describes herself as "Buddh-ish" and I get that. What did work for me personally in the book was that I saw sides of myself in the author. I read about Pipher's intensity and her trials with anxiety. I could relate. I read about her childhood and discovered some of the influences that were also present in my childhood. She is maybe ten years older than I am and I found it interesting that my path as an older person seems to following her path. That was encouraging for me. She discovered insights that have helped her gain acceptance and openness to what is. I find myself discovering the same insights. I appreciated the shared experiences.
If you're looking for a light memoir with thoughtful reflections on life changes, then give this book a try.
A couple of quotes from the book that made me think a bit:
"For their own reasons, many people politely fall apart at some point in their lives. How they regroup and move on determines what their future will be." p. 13
"We are what we pay attention to." p. 217
"Psychologists estimate we have sixty thousand to seventy thousand thoughts a day, 90 percent of which are more or less what we thought yesterday. Our habits run our lives . Most of the time, we are phoning it in." p 217
May 3, 2009
It's a strange, discomfiting, wondrous thing to pick up a book by someone else - someone, in this case, twenty-three years old than yourself - and see so much of your life in what they write.
The commonalities in mine and Mary Pipher's life are painful ones - different childhoods, but similar lessons learned; similar impulses internalized; similar coping strategies adopted as a means to try and make the world make sense and to make things stop hurting. We - at different life points - both melted down, both faced depression, both fumbled our way toward Buddhism as a way of learning to be kind to ourselves. The impulse to avoid emotion, and the damage that does, is deep-rooted in both of us; we're both unlearning that disastrous mental map.
There's much we don't have in common - Pipher always has to be doing something, for example, and I am often content to be doing nothing at all - but marvelously, in the pages where I was not present, I saw my friend Meg. It was strangely comforting to think that we not only all struggle in our own particular way, but we are parts of a larger whole, puzzle pieces that fit well together, meant to figure life out in company, not alone.
I would give the book more stars but for two things - 1) my own mental hiccups that prevent me from embracing everything in the book immediately, because it just hits too close to home, and 2) Pipher's own hiccup of striving to be the good girl who is brim full of understanding. While observing that she learned from an early age to never externalize her anger, to always rationalize what was emotionally felt, she replicates that pattern in her book. Countless times she recounts the very real neglect she experienced in her childhood, and the responsibilities she shouldered at far too young an age, only to say in the next paragraph that she understands why person X did A, and why person Y was only able to give so much. I laughed - with understanding and a lot of compassion - every time she did this, but it still interrupted what was otherwise such a beautiful, peaceful, thought-provoking narrative flow.
The commonalities in mine and Mary Pipher's life are painful ones - different childhoods, but similar lessons learned; similar impulses internalized; similar coping strategies adopted as a means to try and make the world make sense and to make things stop hurting. We - at different life points - both melted down, both faced depression, both fumbled our way toward Buddhism as a way of learning to be kind to ourselves. The impulse to avoid emotion, and the damage that does, is deep-rooted in both of us; we're both unlearning that disastrous mental map.
There's much we don't have in common - Pipher always has to be doing something, for example, and I am often content to be doing nothing at all - but marvelously, in the pages where I was not present, I saw my friend Meg. It was strangely comforting to think that we not only all struggle in our own particular way, but we are parts of a larger whole, puzzle pieces that fit well together, meant to figure life out in company, not alone.
I would give the book more stars but for two things - 1) my own mental hiccups that prevent me from embracing everything in the book immediately, because it just hits too close to home, and 2) Pipher's own hiccup of striving to be the good girl who is brim full of understanding. While observing that she learned from an early age to never externalize her anger, to always rationalize what was emotionally felt, she replicates that pattern in her book. Countless times she recounts the very real neglect she experienced in her childhood, and the responsibilities she shouldered at far too young an age, only to say in the next paragraph that she understands why person X did A, and why person Y was only able to give so much. I laughed - with understanding and a lot of compassion - every time she did this, but it still interrupted what was otherwise such a beautiful, peaceful, thought-provoking narrative flow.
August 26, 2013
As Mary Pipher says of her own favorite authors, I would enjoy a ride to the recycling center with her. But this book wasn't my favorite. I like the idea of the worst Buddhist, but it wasn't much about Buddhism or even meditation practice. It was mostly a memoir. I did appreciate her candid sharing of the ways in which her fame and book tours "undid" her, and how she recovered from that.
Favorite passages: "How could [my writing] help readers feel stronger, calmer, and more optimistic? How could my words aid readers in understanding other people?
"[As I aged], I didn't ask [about my body], "Am I pretty?" but rather, "Can I still ice-skate, cross-country ski and carry a backpack up a mountain? . . . . Today I give myself the pleasure of valuing my body. I love my liver-spotted hands, my stretch marks, my shaggy hair and the map of my face. I praise this body that has kept me on this planet in this place, available for learning, adventure, and warmth. I love how my senses allow me to drink in the world. Body, I thank you for giving me life. I will never disrespect you again."
Favorite passages: "How could [my writing] help readers feel stronger, calmer, and more optimistic? How could my words aid readers in understanding other people?
"[As I aged], I didn't ask [about my body], "Am I pretty?" but rather, "Can I still ice-skate, cross-country ski and carry a backpack up a mountain? . . . . Today I give myself the pleasure of valuing my body. I love my liver-spotted hands, my stretch marks, my shaggy hair and the map of my face. I praise this body that has kept me on this planet in this place, available for learning, adventure, and warmth. I love how my senses allow me to drink in the world. Body, I thank you for giving me life. I will never disrespect you again."
December 10, 2009
This book is disappointing - Pipher's background and family are compelling, but the book is a chronicle and not much more (I'm on the last CD, so think my opinion is set). There are some helpful insights, but I'd rather read or hear Sylvia Boorstein for a lively, humorous style that shares insights similarly but with more entertainment value. The reader, Kymberly Dakin, was annoying - many mispronounced words and an irritating voice quality. A day or two later, I'm revising my thoughts a bit, realizing that the insights for me have been in seeing her similarities to me and what I can glean from her experience and having reminders of the value of slowing down and enjoying small special moments. However, I still feel overall that the time involved in listening to this book was too much for what it delivered.
March 19, 2012
I started reading Mary Pipher years ago with "Reviving Ophelia". I have read almost all of her books. So sure I was of her inborn common sense and innate bigheartedness I was shocked to read her description of dealing with the same depression and burn out that many of us have dealt with. As always though she reveals a generosity, wit and humility I hope to someday emulate.
"In a famous scene in the movie Jaws, the local sheriff is chumming for the great white shark, and it appears out of nowhere. The shark is is larger than the crew had imagined possible and they are terrified. The sheriff says carefully, "We're going to need a bigger boat." That scene could be a metaphor for my beliefs about religion."
Amen Sister Mary!
"In a famous scene in the movie Jaws, the local sheriff is chumming for the great white shark, and it appears out of nowhere. The shark is is larger than the crew had imagined possible and they are terrified. The sheriff says carefully, "We're going to need a bigger boat." That scene could be a metaphor for my beliefs about religion."
Amen Sister Mary!
July 16, 2009
"In this thoughtful and inspiring memoir, the author of the New York Times bestsellers Reviving Ophelia, The Shelter of Each Other, and Another Country explores her personal search for understanding, tranquility, and respect through her work as a psychologist and seeker".I was looking for a more reflective book on Buddhist inspirations but am disappointed. Okay as a memoir for someone my age but really not recommended for 20's-30's readers.
October 5, 2009
If this had just been a straight memior, it would have been much better. When she was talking about her life it was fairly interesting. When she started going off about the lake and the birds and the whatever...not good. All I could really find to say about this books was, "It was fine."
July 11, 2010
As many of the other reviewers said, this book wasn't what I expected from the title. The description of her childhood, while interesting and well-written, went on for too long, and I wanted to read more about her adulthood. There were few mentions of her actual experiences with Buddhism.
February 4, 2011
So far, it's like reading my mother's autobiography. Weird. Now that I've finished it, I'm amazed about what I've learned... about people. Totally recommend it. Some places were easier to read than others, but all was well written.
March 18, 2019
I don't want to criticize such a personal work, so will simply say that this book was poorly titled. Author starts to talk about Buddhism on page 175. This is, instead, a multi-generational memoir with the feel of a journal written for personal healing.
February 26, 2019
I ended up loving this book and resolving to keep it on my shelf of books to revisit (whether I actually revisit those books is another discussion, but it still is an indicator of the lasting worth I feel the books on that shelf have). There were moments when I wasn't sure about that assessment - Pipher spends a great deal of time on her life, appropriately, and I was getting itchy about how much value knowing her past gave to the book. My thinking was: "Ho hum. Yet another story about how crazy life is and then you find meditation and things get better." Yet, it was exactly that amount of detail that gave weight to her continuing evolution in "finding peace" and ultimately made the book stronger. She shot into the limelight in 1994 when her fine book about teenage girls Reviving Ophelia was published. With the success of that work, her life was transformed, but not in a good way. Her need for solitude and restorative time with family was shredded as she entered a whirlwind life of speaking engagements and book tours, unable to say no to the avalanche of requests. Her exceedingly difficult childhood played a part in her breakdown (her parents were unorthodox, neglectful, and sometimes worse). I assumed that with a success like hers, she would have it made - it was a revelation to realize otherwise, and I had to learn (once again) that you can't make assumptions like that about anyone. The larger lesson I took from the book was to feel heartened by the generous disclosure of her daily struggles to work toward greater peace and compassion for herself. That felt very familiar, and in that, I felt I'd found a friend.
January 7, 2025
some quotes: “Of course not all people grow from crises. Some refuse to accept the need for redefinition, and orchestrate their own intellectual and emotional shutdown. Those who do grow manage to stay awake to the anguish, confusion and self-doubt. This requires a high tolerance for discomfort, as well as the ability to see the world as it is, not as they wish it to be. Over time, the people who continue to struggle emerge wiser, kinder and more resilient. After they have broken and rebuilt themselves, they feel less breakable.” page 15 “I had the wrong psychological makeup for public life.” page 21 observing her mother: “Even as a child I was impressed by her extraordinary competence. She could sew, preserve food, raise fruits and vegetables, brand cattle, repair medical equipment and extricate people from emergency situations. One day my hair caught fire. The elementary school girls were hosting a tea for our mothers. As I arranged silverware beside the lit candles, my long hair swung across a flame and ignited. I didn’t even know how this had happened. What I was aware of was my mother leaping over tables and slapping my skull. She had beaten out the fire before anyone else had done more than gasp.” page 58. This happened to me!
September 14, 2022
When I read the title and book description, I expected to read about methods from a licensed therapist about coping with depression. However, Mary writes about a depression as if it is the flu. She had depression as a result of a nervous breakdown. Then she was over it. No more depression. After the one episode of depression, her life is happy & stress free.
This book offers no peace for those with chronic depression. A depression that will last through a person's entire life. Mary's autobiographical writing made it difficult for someone with chronic depression to relate to her, how she felt at various stages in her life.
The other thing about Mary's experience that I did not like is she is financially secure enough to take as much time off as she wants. In today's economy, this is not an option for the majority of us with chronic depression or experiencing our own meltdown. We must forfeit everything to take the time off we need, or we are forced to endure & get worse while we support ourselves & our families.
While her writing of her ancestry, her childhood, her experiences leading up to her success is entertaining to read with its drama, like a sitcom, it is full of triggers and should be avoided by most readers with PTSD, depression, abuse, and other significant traumas.
This book offers no peace for those with chronic depression. A depression that will last through a person's entire life. Mary's autobiographical writing made it difficult for someone with chronic depression to relate to her, how she felt at various stages in her life.
The other thing about Mary's experience that I did not like is she is financially secure enough to take as much time off as she wants. In today's economy, this is not an option for the majority of us with chronic depression or experiencing our own meltdown. We must forfeit everything to take the time off we need, or we are forced to endure & get worse while we support ourselves & our families.
While her writing of her ancestry, her childhood, her experiences leading up to her success is entertaining to read with its drama, like a sitcom, it is full of triggers and should be avoided by most readers with PTSD, depression, abuse, and other significant traumas.
August 30, 2024
In depth biography of the rise and fall of a therapist followed by a new growth and peace of mind. The family of Nebraska brings a picture of American life in the middle west. Both Mary and her husband Jim are therapists and were a source of well being for many through the years. Mary's earlly years were for the most part strange. Her mother pursued medical education for many years while her father tried to raise the children on his own. Mary wound up being a "mother" figure for her siblings. Childhood was not truly much of a part for her. The actual choice of psychology was just available and her needs were really never met.
Writing beccame a successful world that meant that she was to be out and about with book tours and seminars that were not central nor wanted in her life. Hence she was destined for a blow-up and deep depression for her.
Her story is helpful for those are stuck without ease of choice and or future growth felt. She comes to the knowledge that one actuiallly is capable of healing yourself.
A favorite was her discovery of the heritage she sees through her children and grandchildren. She sees how truly impactful she has been as a model for those around her. That is certainly the peace that she had all along been seeking!
Writing beccame a successful world that meant that she was to be out and about with book tours and seminars that were not central nor wanted in her life. Hence she was destined for a blow-up and deep depression for her.
Her story is helpful for those are stuck without ease of choice and or future growth felt. She comes to the knowledge that one actuiallly is capable of healing yourself.
A favorite was her discovery of the heritage she sees through her children and grandchildren. She sees how truly impactful she has been as a model for those around her. That is certainly the peace that she had all along been seeking!
October 20, 2024
I have loved Mary Pipher’s writing for years and as an aspiring counselor have often been inspired by her experiences as a therapist. However, upon reading this book, I was pretty shocked by its self indulgent nature. By page 50 I truly couldn’t stand any more of it. It sounds like a full of BS ego driven spiritualist acting as if having empathy is some magical ability that only the lucky are endowed with. Anyone currently studying to become a counselor is trained to have that level of empathy and it must be constantly monitored and developed. It isnt a gift, its a skill. Ill give it to her that she may be sensitive, but honestly it just comes off like she’s full of herself. If I feel like laughing maybe I will finish this book but I highly doubt it.
October 18, 2020
Title is misleading. More about her history and less about her interactions with Buddhism.
Her background is clearly important to her search for peace and self acceptance. But I feel that she could have greatly summarized her background for this book and spent more time on the healing/seeking process. A long article instead of a book might have been more powerful for me, as a reader wAnting to know about one person’s seeking peace through Buddhism .
However I do sense that her in depth recalling of her life helped her greatly, and so I dislike having to give this book such a low rating.
Her background is clearly important to her search for peace and self acceptance. But I feel that she could have greatly summarized her background for this book and spent more time on the healing/seeking process. A long article instead of a book might have been more powerful for me, as a reader wAnting to know about one person’s seeking peace through Buddhism .
However I do sense that her in depth recalling of her life helped her greatly, and so I dislike having to give this book such a low rating.
January 4, 2018
This was more back story than I was expecting--I was hoping for more insight into her experiences with Buddhist practice. Her life story is very interesting, and she did suffer some emotional stresses as a result of her writing's popularity. But I had a hard time working up a lot of sympathy. She had money and a loving and supportive family and a beautiful home in natural surroundings that she was able to retreat to.
January 29, 2023
I bought this book on the fly, thinking it was about Buddhism, and it turned out to instead be a beautiful story of the authors life concluding with how Buddhist practices helped her. Her writing is thoughtful, emotional, visual, and enjoyable to read. Her story brought me to think of my own family, my life, and how I want my own life to be. Very much enjoyed her story and insights into life.
September 25, 2024
3 stars because Ms. Pipher is a technically excellent writer of vivid sentences and paragraphs.
But no more than 3 stars because this book is filtered autobiography that seems to leave a lot unsaid. And I'm having trouble getting past the story that it took a Ken Burns documentary for a PhD in psychology to realize that her WWII/Korean vet medic father was troubled by the atrocities of war.
But no more than 3 stars because this book is filtered autobiography that seems to leave a lot unsaid. And I'm having trouble getting past the story that it took a Ken Burns documentary for a PhD in psychology to realize that her WWII/Korean vet medic father was troubled by the atrocities of war.
October 21, 2025
Mary Pipher was a happy wife, mother, teacher, psychologist until she had a best selling book. The stress unraveled all her loose ends. This is her examination of her life and how she managed to pull herself together...to become "the worst buddhist in the world." I particularly enjoyed her honestly.
September 25, 2017
I'm a fan of Mary Pipher. The book is more about her own journey of seeking peace than the practice of Buddhism. It is such an honest, open, somehow familiar sharing of coming to the end of your ability to cope and having to look beyond.
July 5, 2022
A nice person from a close family discusses her upbringing, problems, and meditative habits. Very likable, easy to relate to. Not especially profound, although I admire her career achievements and family life.
May 6, 2017
It was sad to learn someone whose writing I admire became so fragile.
February 18, 2018
Wonderful, peaceful, thoughtful, transformative book. I'm so glad it found me at exactly the right time.
June 25, 2019
The pursuit of happiness is not always, if ever, intuitively obvious! This book is one person's path.
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