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All the Colors Came Out: A Father, a Daughter, and a Lifetime of Lessons
Kate Fagan and her father forged their relationship on the basketball court. But as Kate got older, her love of the sport and her closeness with her father grew complicated. The formerly inseparable pair drifted apart. The lessons that her father instilled in her about the game, and all her memories of sharing the court with him over the years, were a distant memory.
When Chris Fagan was diagnosed with ALS, Kate decided that something had to change. Leaving a high-profile job at ESPN to be closer to her mother and father and take part in his care, Kate Fagan spent the last year of her father’s life determined to return to him the kind of joy they once shared on the court.
When Chris Fagan was diagnosed with ALS, Kate decided that something had to change. Leaving a high-profile job at ESPN to be closer to her mother and father and take part in his care, Kate Fagan spent the last year of her father’s life determined to return to him the kind of joy they once shared on the court.
208 pages, Hardcover
Published May 18, 2021
66 people are currently reading
4317 people want to read
About the author
Kate Fagan
8 books742 followersKate Fagan is an Emmy Award–winning journalist and the #1 New York Times bestselling author of What Made Maddy Run, which was a semi-finalist for the PEN/ESPN Award for literary sports writing. She is also the author of three additional nonfiction titles, a former professional basketball player, and spent seven years as a journalist at ESPN. Kate lives in Bolton Landing, NY.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 158 reviews
May 29, 2021
When she was younger, Kate and her father bonded over their love of basketball. When she went away to college she felt increasingly ambivalent about the game, though she would continue to play and would even play two years professionally. Then she quit, the game no longer her life, and she withdrew from the thing that bonded them together. When he is diagnosed with ALS, Kate ruminated over the strengths but also the misses in their relationship. As her father battles in a fight he cannot win, Kate and her sister, mother find ways to honor this man who gave so much to his family. Life lessons, on and off the court, that were not forgotten.
ALS, is a horrible disease and so parts of this book are difficulty read. This is though a book that is sad, but also beautiful as it is a love letter from a daughter to a father. Heartfelt read.
ARC from Edelweiss.
ALS, is a horrible disease and so parts of this book are difficulty read. This is though a book that is sad, but also beautiful as it is a love letter from a daughter to a father. Heartfelt read.
ARC from Edelweiss.
June 25, 2021
'All the Colors Came Out' by Kate Fagan is a touching heartfelt memoir about Kate and her father, Chris Fagan. He was not just a good father to her and her sibling, he was their mentor and a constant supporter of whatever they chose to do. However, Kate's dad was diagnosed with ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis). The quick decline of his health startled them all.
Chris and Kate's relationship was built on their love of basketball. He acted as her coach from when Kate was still a child, and her athletic talent won her a scholarship to University of Colorado. At Colorado, Kate realized she no longer wanted to play basketball. The passion had disappeared. She continued to do so because of the terms of her scholarship only. Her relationship with her dad went slightly off-kilter as well. He was not one of those dads who push their kids relentlessly into something they wanted for themselves, but he loved basketball. He had played professionally in Europe. During the following years after she left school, she refused most of his offers on visits to play one-on-one, or to drive around looking for a pick-up game on a neighborhood playground. She never wanted to work on their relationship other than to acknowledge she knew she was drifting away from the closeness they had had.
After graduating, she worked for ESPN as a sports desk host. She threw herself into the job as deeply as she had playing basketball. It required travel, she made new friends and contacts, and she met the woman she later married. She used all of these things as a buffer between her father and herself, not knowing why even though she knew she was doing it. She figured she had time to fix what had gone wrong between her father and herself some day, whatever it was. She didn't know why she wanted distance.
I think whatever it was, at least what it seems from the memoir, it maybe was something quite ordinary imho, a child-parent development thing. Perhaps an emotional boundary is developed by trained sport-jocks to stop any distractions from the focus of their training of their bodies, including any kind of pain. They appear to hate delving into intimacy because it's a touchy-feely recognition of wide-angle personal issues outside of the narrow telescoped view they must have of their lives to be successful. I think sports jocks are trained to smother many personal emotions. Emotions that hamper their concentration on their bodies and their sport are often ruthlessly deadheaded in the sports memoirs I've read. But expected upcoming deaths of a loved one usually lets loose all the colors hidden away in those trimmed-down gardens.
Anyway.
Chris was diagnosed with ALS. He was determined to fight on! But how do you fight on with a disease for which there is no cure or any kind of mitigation? There is no winning, only losses. Life becomes only a leaking away of vitality - and feeding tubes, someone moving your body around that isn't you doing the moving. How would Chris handle it? How would the family handle it? Could the author fix up things between Chris and herself, both of them being usually proactive moving-forward-only-styling never-admitting-defeat jocks?
The book is emotionally moving but not graphic. It recognizes and protects the dignity of all of the members of the family. It's about real life - a family that must deal with an impactful life-changing disease of an impactful life-changing member of a family.
Chris and Kate's relationship was built on their love of basketball. He acted as her coach from when Kate was still a child, and her athletic talent won her a scholarship to University of Colorado. At Colorado, Kate realized she no longer wanted to play basketball. The passion had disappeared. She continued to do so because of the terms of her scholarship only. Her relationship with her dad went slightly off-kilter as well. He was not one of those dads who push their kids relentlessly into something they wanted for themselves, but he loved basketball. He had played professionally in Europe. During the following years after she left school, she refused most of his offers on visits to play one-on-one, or to drive around looking for a pick-up game on a neighborhood playground. She never wanted to work on their relationship other than to acknowledge she knew she was drifting away from the closeness they had had.
After graduating, she worked for ESPN as a sports desk host. She threw herself into the job as deeply as she had playing basketball. It required travel, she made new friends and contacts, and she met the woman she later married. She used all of these things as a buffer between her father and herself, not knowing why even though she knew she was doing it. She figured she had time to fix what had gone wrong between her father and herself some day, whatever it was. She didn't know why she wanted distance.
I think whatever it was, at least what it seems from the memoir, it maybe was something quite ordinary imho, a child-parent development thing. Perhaps an emotional boundary is developed by trained sport-jocks to stop any distractions from the focus of their training of their bodies, including any kind of pain. They appear to hate delving into intimacy because it's a touchy-feely recognition of wide-angle personal issues outside of the narrow telescoped view they must have of their lives to be successful. I think sports jocks are trained to smother many personal emotions. Emotions that hamper their concentration on their bodies and their sport are often ruthlessly deadheaded in the sports memoirs I've read. But expected upcoming deaths of a loved one usually lets loose all the colors hidden away in those trimmed-down gardens.
Anyway.
Chris was diagnosed with ALS. He was determined to fight on! But how do you fight on with a disease for which there is no cure or any kind of mitigation? There is no winning, only losses. Life becomes only a leaking away of vitality - and feeding tubes, someone moving your body around that isn't you doing the moving. How would Chris handle it? How would the family handle it? Could the author fix up things between Chris and herself, both of them being usually proactive moving-forward-only-styling never-admitting-defeat jocks?
The book is emotionally moving but not graphic. It recognizes and protects the dignity of all of the members of the family. It's about real life - a family that must deal with an impactful life-changing disease of an impactful life-changing member of a family.
February 3, 2021
I received an advance copy of this book. I was not asked to provide a review, but I must. Kate Fagan has always been a favorite of mine, whether it was her work for the Philadelphia Inquirer, her television appearances for ESPN, and more recently her book “What Made Maddy Run.” When I learned Kate would be releasing this book, I immediately knew I would have to get my hands on a copy.
This book left me in tears at numerous occasions and touched my heart in a special way as I read through this amazing portrait of Kate’s father as she explores and reflects on their beautiful relationship. It is raw, it is real, and their story is told in a very genuine and heartfelt manner.
As the #girldad of a two-year old, I can only hope to be for my daughter what Kate’s dad was for her. I learned lessons in this book from her dad that I will carry with me for a long time. I absolutely see myself picking this book up time and again as a reminder of how to be the best I can be for my own daughter.
If you’re a girl dad, simply love a parent or other role model, if you’ve been affected by ALS, or you just want a story of true familial love, this book is for you. It is a story that needed to be told and that needs to be shared.
This book left me in tears at numerous occasions and touched my heart in a special way as I read through this amazing portrait of Kate’s father as she explores and reflects on their beautiful relationship. It is raw, it is real, and their story is told in a very genuine and heartfelt manner.
As the #girldad of a two-year old, I can only hope to be for my daughter what Kate’s dad was for her. I learned lessons in this book from her dad that I will carry with me for a long time. I absolutely see myself picking this book up time and again as a reminder of how to be the best I can be for my own daughter.
If you’re a girl dad, simply love a parent or other role model, if you’ve been affected by ALS, or you just want a story of true familial love, this book is for you. It is a story that needed to be told and that needs to be shared.
October 29, 2021
Beautifully written. The “life lessons” sections interspersed throughout were a highlight. I thought it captured so well the magic of a father-daughter relationship, tough parts as well as happy memories, and the larger life lessons learned through the lens of sports. Keeping this brief but I personally connected with the subject matter in several ways, having experienced the untimely passing of my dad and also having grown up in the same area at the same time as the author. Highly recommend.
September 16, 2023
This was a sad, powerful, wonderful, reflective read, especially for a daddy’s girl like me. I loved the way Fagan narrated her relationship with her Dad, focusing on the way sports centered it. As Fagan’s Dad would say, “Keep doing the things you love with the people you love.”
March 13, 2021
Basically, my heart broke over and over reading this phenomenal love story. An intricate story about love, regret, deeper meanings, heartbreak, and more love. Kate is a beautiful writer, and a beautiful story-teller. Knowing this is her own true story makes it all the more compelling. I absolutely loved this book and had a hard time putting it down.
June 5, 2021
The author learned everything she knew about basketball from her father. He taught her life lessons through the sport. But after losing touch and being somewhat estranged for some time, when her father was diagnosed with ALS, the author left a high-profile job at ESPN to be closer to family. She spent the last year of her father’s life determined to find the joy they once shared on the court. This story is about a special bond between a father and daughter, forged in the love of a sport. The author wove in things about her career and how it related to the people in her life. She talked about being on this ESPN bandwagon and trying to achieve even if we're unsure why. I think it's an excellent message for people to remember.
I was crying by the end of this book. Many of us have little voices in our heads about something that happened ten years ago, and it's still a thorn in the relationship. The book encourages people to be braver and find forgiveness. Sometimes, it happens amid tragedy.
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast,
https://zibbyowens.com/transcript/fag...
I was crying by the end of this book. Many of us have little voices in our heads about something that happened ten years ago, and it's still a thorn in the relationship. The book encourages people to be braver and find forgiveness. Sometimes, it happens amid tragedy.
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast,
https://zibbyowens.com/transcript/fag...
Read
January 23, 2023I really can't rate this book. There is a lot of heartfelt writing here and as such I won't attempt to try to judge this book for merit. It is the memoir of a women dealing with the hurtles one faces when a parent is diagnosed with a fatal disease. ALS is a cruel and incurable disease and there are no easy ways to deal with it. This memoir deals with how a daughter copes when her father slowly deals with ALS and how she finds all he has taught her helps her cope. Not an easy read for sure but well worth the time.
March 7, 2023
Fantastic. Especially as a sports daughter who considers her dad (and mom) her best friends. But also, very raw. And some parts are hard to chew and if you’re in the midst of the end of a close family member, this may be a triggering book. I read it in half a day.
June 9, 2021
A beautiful book, very moving.
March 15, 2022
This story was beautifully written and I absolutely adored every childhood memory shared, from beginning to end.
May 9, 2021
I won an ARC of this through a Goodreads Giveaway!
In this book, Kate Fagan takes us through her life and her relationship with her father. She tells us of the good moments- where she finds her love with basketball, the restaurant where she decides on her future, the day she learned the importance of having a pair of basketball shoes in the boot of her car- and the bad. She allows us to enter into her brain space as her father is diagnosed with ALS and the events that will lead to his death on December 9, 2019.
I absolutely loved this book. Fagan makes it very well known that her father was human and his death does not and should not erase the fact that he had faults while everyone lauds him forf all his good- and that is what he wants. She depicts their love for each other in an all-encompassing way that allows each person the space to be human, and gives a real view in the minds of families that are turned into caregivers. The frustration, the anger, the depression, the realistic self-evaluation, especially during an age where people put everything on the internet. It's very human, very beauitful, very real. And I thank the author for their vulnerability.
In this book, Kate Fagan takes us through her life and her relationship with her father. She tells us of the good moments- where she finds her love with basketball, the restaurant where she decides on her future, the day she learned the importance of having a pair of basketball shoes in the boot of her car- and the bad. She allows us to enter into her brain space as her father is diagnosed with ALS and the events that will lead to his death on December 9, 2019.
I absolutely loved this book. Fagan makes it very well known that her father was human and his death does not and should not erase the fact that he had faults while everyone lauds him forf all his good- and that is what he wants. She depicts their love for each other in an all-encompassing way that allows each person the space to be human, and gives a real view in the minds of families that are turned into caregivers. The frustration, the anger, the depression, the realistic self-evaluation, especially during an age where people put everything on the internet. It's very human, very beauitful, very real. And I thank the author for their vulnerability.
May 7, 2025
One of my favorites I’ve read (listened to) in a while. Such a moving story about life and death and love and grief.
April 19, 2024
This book is a story of healing, forgiveness, and understanding. It speaks of the importance of relationship and vulnerability. It also gives 8 life lessons brought from Kate’s father and his love for basketball.
1. Never let anyone win - letting someone win out of pity or feeling like they are weak is a lie.
2. Make your last dribble the hardest - if you want more from the ball you have to give more to the ball. Make sure you’re creating the proper momentum for your next move.
3. Always find the center mark - find what grounds you, breathe deeply. The calming power of the constant.
4. Occasionally bank in a free throw - be great, but don’t go around telling everyone, show them.
5. Life’s most important metric - just showing up somewhere, being physically present, is not the same as being focused and attentive. If you have the first without the second, what’s the point of being there at all?
6. Keep your sneakers in the trunk - be prepared for the unexpected, you never know when or where you’ll find your next game.
7. Ritual and routine - being present and consistent in relationships.
8. Let me be your flunky - remembering that when someone is creating or building a dream, what they need most is your optimism, enthusiasm, and support. What they need least is criticism and self-appointed expertise, which usually only serves to lift you up at the cost of their joy and enthusiasm.
1. Never let anyone win - letting someone win out of pity or feeling like they are weak is a lie.
2. Make your last dribble the hardest - if you want more from the ball you have to give more to the ball. Make sure you’re creating the proper momentum for your next move.
3. Always find the center mark - find what grounds you, breathe deeply. The calming power of the constant.
4. Occasionally bank in a free throw - be great, but don’t go around telling everyone, show them.
5. Life’s most important metric - just showing up somewhere, being physically present, is not the same as being focused and attentive. If you have the first without the second, what’s the point of being there at all?
6. Keep your sneakers in the trunk - be prepared for the unexpected, you never know when or where you’ll find your next game.
7. Ritual and routine - being present and consistent in relationships.
8. Let me be your flunky - remembering that when someone is creating or building a dream, what they need most is your optimism, enthusiasm, and support. What they need least is criticism and self-appointed expertise, which usually only serves to lift you up at the cost of their joy and enthusiasm.
May 3, 2022
Felt as though the author was just recounting her regrets, however it definitely teaches you the importance of finding balance and always putting people first. There is so much importance in being with the people you love and cherishing them and not letting the hustle and bustle of everyday life get in the way of making the time for those who matter.
Unfortunately chronic illnesses have a way of teaching us these lessons, not a way you want to learn it but to some extent things happen for a reason and sometimes it’s a wake up call to stop getting so caught up and make time for your loved ones.
Unfortunately chronic illnesses have a way of teaching us these lessons, not a way you want to learn it but to some extent things happen for a reason and sometimes it’s a wake up call to stop getting so caught up and make time for your loved ones.
June 20, 2021
Kate Fagan is 3 for 3 with beautifully written, poignant nonfiction novels. Each one I relate to on a personal level. Each chapter in All the Colors Came Out elicits a moment of reflection. I thought a lot about my mom (who passed a year ago after almost two years of health complications) and had been in many of the same moments. I soon intend to do something I never do right after reading a book… read it again. Thank you, Kate Fagan.
August 9, 2025
A simple reminder that a book does not have to be long to be impactful!!! What I thought was going to be a simple father/daughter book quickly turned into something so beautiful and rewarding to read. I love my father so much it hurts at times, and the relationship Kate has with her father felt so familiar because of that. Grief and love truly walk hand in hand and both are scary to face head on.
(Sorry to everyone at the coffee shop that experienced me sobbing while reading this book!!)
(Sorry to everyone at the coffee shop that experienced me sobbing while reading this book!!)
May 22, 2021
Oooof. In a great and heavy way. Having read Kate’s previous book “what made Maddy run” and having been a fan of hers on Around The Horn, I knew I would like this book. But you never *really* know if you’ll like a book - even with all signs pointing to yes. But it’s an amazing and real and raw and beautiful look into her relationship with her father throughout their lives and as he died of ALS. Well written, and heart wrenching. Highly highly recommend!
June 6, 2021
Beautiful book. There is an innate assumption that love stories center around a romantic relationship between two people, while the love between family members is overshadowed. In the case of this book, this is a love story between a father and a daughter. It was beautiful, raw, and honest.
June 16, 2021
This is one of my favorite books ever. Filled with great stories in vivid detail from start to finish. Definitely will be a tear jerker for some of you. There’s something to take away for anyone that reads this! Shout out to Kate for eating that hot ass pepper on the LeBatard 24 hour stream.
August 11, 2021
This book serves as the author’s love letter to her late father. It was brutal and open and raw, and it was an honor to be included in the journey. If you’ve lost someone you love recently, the latter half of the book might smart a raw wound.
March 27, 2022
This is a can’t put down book. I’ve never been moved by so many emotions from a single book ever. If you are a Dad or a daughter who played sports (or not), a must read. Thank you Kate for writing everything I’ve ever wanted to say to my father.
July 25, 2022
I'm sure she'd say no but I wonder if the author feels any regret or frustration at so much of her life being tied up in something her dad loved that she didn't. Made me think of how silly it is of me to care about if my son will learn how to shoot a basketball.
July 9, 2021
Seriously one of the best books I've ever read. HIGHLY RECOMMEND.
September 27, 2021
I just cried my eyes out reading this.
January 29, 2023
4.5 This book is lovely, with many teary moments, however heartwarming.
January 11, 2025
The nostalgia present throughout this book in the “big C”’s life lessons had me in legitimate tears. Beautifully written. Listen to the audio if you can, as Kate and her mom both narrate
May 28, 2021
Kate Fagan is a phenomenal writer and this is one of the best books I've read in this genre. Even if you have not been reading her sports writing, her letter to her father who died of ALS is so on point about what it is like when you are with a beloved parent who is dying. While this book's subject matter is tough, this is not a sad book.
September 16, 2024
Sometimes I think there can be a perfect book for right now. It fits with what’s on your mind or what you need or what you love and feels like the stars aligned. For me, this is that book. The absolute perfect collision of basketball and family and love and loss.
And there are life lessons to be learned. My favorite quote- and it was hard to choose:
“Just showing up somewhere, being physically present, is not the same thing as being focused and attentive. If you have the first without the second, what was the point of being there at all?’”
Said to Kate Fagan, by her dad, when discussing if she needed to spend more time on the basketball court.
Isn’t this a great life lesson? For jobs? For relationships? For hobbies? To be present and focused. What a gift.
And there are life lessons to be learned. My favorite quote- and it was hard to choose:
“Just showing up somewhere, being physically present, is not the same thing as being focused and attentive. If you have the first without the second, what was the point of being there at all?’”
Said to Kate Fagan, by her dad, when discussing if she needed to spend more time on the basketball court.
Isn’t this a great life lesson? For jobs? For relationships? For hobbies? To be present and focused. What a gift.
July 10, 2021
This memoir is one of the best that I have ever read!! Kate and her dad shared a passion for basketball and played all of the time. Kate plays college ball but has a tough time fitting in with the team and college students. She comes out as gay to her mother but does not tell her dad. Her dad is diagnosed with ALS and this becomes the biggest part of the book…their journey of forgiveness, struggles and trying to find the best way to say goodbye. Highly recommend!!!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 158 reviews