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Surviving the Bomb: That One Time I Broke into a House, Killed the Homeowner, and Took His Family Hostage
Winner, 2nd prize in the 2018 Bards & Sages Literature Contest
—
Jesus Christ Almighty, is that a missile? Oh God, it is! It’s hurtling through the sky overhead. I slam my foot on the brake and my truck jerks to a halt.
This can’t be happening. It passes almost directly over me, trailing a long streak of fire through the afternoon sky. I feel sick to my stomach and my shoulders start to tremble. I see it in the rear-view mirror now as it flies over the trees. It’s heading straight towards D.C. Jesus Christ, this is the end of D.C. The entire country might collapse. Krista might be gone. My job is definitely gone.
It explodes. Everything turns to white. It’s so bright! I squeeze my eyes shut and slap my hand over my face. It hurts! I duck down against the armrest. Oh God, I’m going to die!
There’s a giant booming sound, and I feel the truck being lifted into the air. Krista, I love you! Mom, I love you! The truck drops back to the ground, and my head hits the steering wheel. I can feel shards of glass hitting me all over.
I can barely breathe because my whole body is going insane. Every part of me is trembling—something’s coming up!—I vomit into the cupholders.
It blew up here! It blew up here! It couldn’t have hit D.C., I’m at least 100 miles from there by now. I sit up and look behind me. Far off behind the trees is a giant mushroom cloud. It’s much skinnier than I would’ve imagined. How far away is it? Five miles? Maybe ten. I don’t know. How am I supposed to look at something and say ‘that’s ten miles away’? At least it’s far enough away to not instantly incinerate me.
Oh shit, oh shit. I know what happened. Nambia’s missiles were inaccurate. That has to be it. CNN said they might be inaccurate. They were only firing it because of President Covfefe’s latest threats, after all. Oh Jesus, maybe I actually fucked myself by driving out here to West Virginia.
My chest hurts, like I’m having a miniature heart attack. It can’t be that, though; nobody has a heart attack in their twenties. Right? I’m pretty sure that can’t happen.
My hands are gripping the steering wheel but shaking uncontrollably. My teeth are chattering so hard, they’ll probably turn into little white nubs before I die of radiation poisoning.
That’s right, radiation poisoning! That’s what comes next. I don’t have time to freak out, I have to get into survivor mode. Right. Fucking. Now.
I’ve got food, I’ve got potassium iodide. I’m prepared for this. I can’t try to outdrive the blast, every single thing I’ve read said that’s the worst thing you can do. Shelter! I have to get to a house and get into the basement before the fallout gets here.
But I’m out in the middle of the countryside. I haven’t passed a house in ten minutes. The fallout could get here before I come across another house. Well, I don’t have any better options, do I? I’m facing away from the blast, so at least I’ll get further from it as I go.
All the windows are shattered from the shockwave but the windshield is still intact. It has a giant crack running from one side to the other, like my cousin’s old Tahoe had. I really hope it doesn’t break.
I put the pedal to the floor, and start speeding down the country road. I will find shelter, I have to. I will survive this. I won’t let anything kill me. I’m a survivor. That’s why I drove out here to West Virginia in the first place. I’m a very logical person, and I don’t let my emotions control my decisions.
I can still see the mushroom cloud in the cracked rear-view mirror. It’s slowly getting taller and fatter.
I wonder what’s happening to Krista right now. Who knows, there could’ve been more missiles. And maybe one did hit D.C. But if they’re this inaccurate who knows what might’ve happened. At least she knows to hide in a closed room for two days after the blast.
I pull out my phone and scroll down my contacts list to “Ball&Chain.”
—
Jesus Christ Almighty, is that a missile? Oh God, it is! It’s hurtling through the sky overhead. I slam my foot on the brake and my truck jerks to a halt.
This can’t be happening. It passes almost directly over me, trailing a long streak of fire through the afternoon sky. I feel sick to my stomach and my shoulders start to tremble. I see it in the rear-view mirror now as it flies over the trees. It’s heading straight towards D.C. Jesus Christ, this is the end of D.C. The entire country might collapse. Krista might be gone. My job is definitely gone.
It explodes. Everything turns to white. It’s so bright! I squeeze my eyes shut and slap my hand over my face. It hurts! I duck down against the armrest. Oh God, I’m going to die!
There’s a giant booming sound, and I feel the truck being lifted into the air. Krista, I love you! Mom, I love you! The truck drops back to the ground, and my head hits the steering wheel. I can feel shards of glass hitting me all over.
I can barely breathe because my whole body is going insane. Every part of me is trembling—something’s coming up!—I vomit into the cupholders.
It blew up here! It blew up here! It couldn’t have hit D.C., I’m at least 100 miles from there by now. I sit up and look behind me. Far off behind the trees is a giant mushroom cloud. It’s much skinnier than I would’ve imagined. How far away is it? Five miles? Maybe ten. I don’t know. How am I supposed to look at something and say ‘that’s ten miles away’? At least it’s far enough away to not instantly incinerate me.
Oh shit, oh shit. I know what happened. Nambia’s missiles were inaccurate. That has to be it. CNN said they might be inaccurate. They were only firing it because of President Covfefe’s latest threats, after all. Oh Jesus, maybe I actually fucked myself by driving out here to West Virginia.
My chest hurts, like I’m having a miniature heart attack. It can’t be that, though; nobody has a heart attack in their twenties. Right? I’m pretty sure that can’t happen.
My hands are gripping the steering wheel but shaking uncontrollably. My teeth are chattering so hard, they’ll probably turn into little white nubs before I die of radiation poisoning.
That’s right, radiation poisoning! That’s what comes next. I don’t have time to freak out, I have to get into survivor mode. Right. Fucking. Now.
I’ve got food, I’ve got potassium iodide. I’m prepared for this. I can’t try to outdrive the blast, every single thing I’ve read said that’s the worst thing you can do. Shelter! I have to get to a house and get into the basement before the fallout gets here.
But I’m out in the middle of the countryside. I haven’t passed a house in ten minutes. The fallout could get here before I come across another house. Well, I don’t have any better options, do I? I’m facing away from the blast, so at least I’ll get further from it as I go.
All the windows are shattered from the shockwave but the windshield is still intact. It has a giant crack running from one side to the other, like my cousin’s old Tahoe had. I really hope it doesn’t break.
I put the pedal to the floor, and start speeding down the country road. I will find shelter, I have to. I will survive this. I won’t let anything kill me. I’m a survivor. That’s why I drove out here to West Virginia in the first place. I’m a very logical person, and I don’t let my emotions control my decisions.
I can still see the mushroom cloud in the cracked rear-view mirror. It’s slowly getting taller and fatter.
I wonder what’s happening to Krista right now. Who knows, there could’ve been more missiles. And maybe one did hit D.C. But if they’re this inaccurate who knows what might’ve happened. At least she knows to hide in a closed room for two days after the blast.
I pull out my phone and scroll down my contacts list to “Ball&Chain.”
108 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 30, 2020
2 people are currently reading
4 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
January 23, 2021
The over-long title of this novella pretty much tells the story of what happened after the narrator flees Washington, DC for rural West Virginia, just ahead of a nuclear bombing of the city. When he tries to find a place to hole up, quite literally in a basement or other safe place, things take a turn for the worst. His fight for survival becomes more immediate and it might seem that no matter what he does, things just get worse.
If that sounds like the story is intense, it is. Yet there’s also some humor in here, the name of the president, President Covfefe, for one small example. That makes for a strange, unique, and entertaining mix.
**Originally written for "Books and Pals" book blog. May have received a free review copy. **
If that sounds like the story is intense, it is. Yet there’s also some humor in here, the name of the president, President Covfefe, for one small example. That makes for a strange, unique, and entertaining mix.
**Originally written for "Books and Pals" book blog. May have received a free review copy. **
October 28, 2021
You never know.
When he sees a nuclear bomb go off in his rearview mirror he goes slightly off his rocker. What would you do? This is an interesting look into one mans reasoning for what he does after the bomb hits. I liked it.
When he sees a nuclear bomb go off in his rearview mirror he goes slightly off his rocker. What would you do? This is an interesting look into one mans reasoning for what he does after the bomb hits. I liked it.
December 11, 2020
If you’re of a certain age, the phrase ‘duck and cover’ evokes powerful memories of when you were a grade school student, of learning how to hide under your desk. Duck and Cover was a film produced by the Federal Civil Defense Administration in 1951 at the start of the Cold War as ‘social guidance’. With an animated opening sequence staring Bert the Turtle and a Duck and Cover theme song, it taught a generation of schoolchildren what to do in the event of a nuclear explosion.
In the time of COVID-19, the nation is once again gripped with fear of death and the apocalypse. Our children are familiar with masks and other PPE, social distancing, and lockdown-driven remote learning. Whatever they’re being taught in school, they’re learning other lessons, harder ones. But as Duck and Cover reminds us, not new ones.
The Bulletin of Atomic Scientists reminds us that nuclear annihilation is closer than ever: in 2020, the clock stands at 100 seconds to midnight. We’re no longer taught to hide under our school desks, but nobody’s telling us what to do.
A rich collection of apocalypse stories deal with nuclear war, both seriously (for instance, Neville Shute’s On the Beach, Pat Frank’s Alas, Babylon, and David Brin’s The Postman) and as black comedy (Peter George’s Doctor Strangelove and Harlan Ellison’s “A Boy and His Dog”.)
J.D. Gordon’s novella That One Time I Broke into a House, Killed the Homeowner, and Took His Family Hostage comes across as somewhere between the two: too dark to take seriously, too horrific to be funny.
James, J.D.’s protagonist, is a young MIRE Corporation researcher who prides himself on his rationality. He’s prepared for the nuclear confrontation he sees coming and flees Washington, DC just in time to avoid the first missile strike- almost. A warhead explodes nearby. What follows is a series of missteps, starting with him breaking into a nearby house, whose occupants think he’s a home invader. Calamity follows, both a tragedy and a comedy of errors, the consequences of James’ acts of self-preservation.
Moss Hart’s advice to young playwrights was, “If you have a message, call Western Union.” Given an apocalypse, it’s hard not to moralize, but what saves That One Time is that James’ moral choices come across as a question rather than as a statement. We might do well to ask ourselves not 'What should we do if the bomb goes off?' but 'What would we be willing to do?'
This story will make you think. Recommended.
In the time of COVID-19, the nation is once again gripped with fear of death and the apocalypse. Our children are familiar with masks and other PPE, social distancing, and lockdown-driven remote learning. Whatever they’re being taught in school, they’re learning other lessons, harder ones. But as Duck and Cover reminds us, not new ones.
The Bulletin of Atomic Scientists reminds us that nuclear annihilation is closer than ever: in 2020, the clock stands at 100 seconds to midnight. We’re no longer taught to hide under our school desks, but nobody’s telling us what to do.
A rich collection of apocalypse stories deal with nuclear war, both seriously (for instance, Neville Shute’s On the Beach, Pat Frank’s Alas, Babylon, and David Brin’s The Postman) and as black comedy (Peter George’s Doctor Strangelove and Harlan Ellison’s “A Boy and His Dog”.)
J.D. Gordon’s novella That One Time I Broke into a House, Killed the Homeowner, and Took His Family Hostage comes across as somewhere between the two: too dark to take seriously, too horrific to be funny.
James, J.D.’s protagonist, is a young MIRE Corporation researcher who prides himself on his rationality. He’s prepared for the nuclear confrontation he sees coming and flees Washington, DC just in time to avoid the first missile strike- almost. A warhead explodes nearby. What follows is a series of missteps, starting with him breaking into a nearby house, whose occupants think he’s a home invader. Calamity follows, both a tragedy and a comedy of errors, the consequences of James’ acts of self-preservation.
Moss Hart’s advice to young playwrights was, “If you have a message, call Western Union.” Given an apocalypse, it’s hard not to moralize, but what saves That One Time is that James’ moral choices come across as a question rather than as a statement. We might do well to ask ourselves not 'What should we do if the bomb goes off?' but 'What would we be willing to do?'
This story will make you think. Recommended.
September 7, 2022
Our hero thinks he is prepared for the worst, but he quickly finds there is no way to really be prepared for this situation. All our hero can do is try to make the best decisions in a bad situation.
This is a black comedy in novella form. The story is well written and easy to read with a combination of humor and "really bad things." The combination is actually really good and makes the story very compelling and hard to put down. The reader is constantly wondering what is going to happen next. Overall, I really enjoyed it and look forward to seeing more from this author.
Highly recommended.
I received an ARC from Hidden Gems for review purposes.
This is a black comedy in novella form. The story is well written and easy to read with a combination of humor and "really bad things." The combination is actually really good and makes the story very compelling and hard to put down. The reader is constantly wondering what is going to happen next. Overall, I really enjoyed it and look forward to seeing more from this author.
Highly recommended.
I received an ARC from Hidden Gems for review purposes.
October 12, 2021
2.5 stars
I was intrigued from the start with this book. Very fast paced and witty humor. I really did like the internal banters James has with himself especially when it comes to the clothes in the dryer! But, overall I was expecting more from this. The ended seemed rushed and left me asking for more.
I was intrigued from the start with this book. Very fast paced and witty humor. I really did like the internal banters James has with himself especially when it comes to the clothes in the dryer! But, overall I was expecting more from this. The ended seemed rushed and left me asking for more.
March 7, 2021
It reminded me of a mad, mad, mad, mad world. People under 40 won't know the reference, but this was a quick read and a fun one at that. I was in the mood for a "romp" so to speak, and this was it. There's a lot packed into the story and lots of stuff we all can relate to!
October 30, 2021
A Humorous Approach, But A Deadly Serious Read
This book is short and disturbing, with self-narration by an awkward, desperate, clueless guy who just wants to get out of the radiation. Action-packed from the beginning, there isn't a lot of time for deep character development, but the author wrote a better story by showing rather than telling.
The messages I took from the main character's story are that (1) no matter how much you're prepared for something momentous, when it comes, you really aren't; (2) you may think of yourself as being immune from making bad choices, but you never know what you'll do until your back is against the wall; and (3) the results of your choices might not work out like you hope they will.
I was fortunate to receive a free ARC courtesy of the author, JDG Press, and Hidden Gems. My review is unencumbered by obligation, though. It's a good read!
This book is short and disturbing, with self-narration by an awkward, desperate, clueless guy who just wants to get out of the radiation. Action-packed from the beginning, there isn't a lot of time for deep character development, but the author wrote a better story by showing rather than telling.
The messages I took from the main character's story are that (1) no matter how much you're prepared for something momentous, when it comes, you really aren't; (2) you may think of yourself as being immune from making bad choices, but you never know what you'll do until your back is against the wall; and (3) the results of your choices might not work out like you hope they will.
I was fortunate to receive a free ARC courtesy of the author, JDG Press, and Hidden Gems. My review is unencumbered by obligation, though. It's a good read!
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews