Mixed/Other

by Natalie Morris

The mixed-race population is the fastest-growing ethnic group in the UK, taking in every combination of heritages imaginable. It is a heterogenous group with no one singular experience, no sole narrative to describe or define the multitudinous variations of cultural mixes and ethnic make ups that exist within this country.

And yet despite the plethora of backgrounds that are encompassed under the term 'mixed', through the course of her work as a journalist, it became clear to Natalie Morris that there is a collective identity; recurring themes and experiences that suggest a commonality of mixed-race existence. From identity struggles to the openness and closeness of family life, from the complexities of dating and relationships to the feelings of cultural guilt and disconnect, the experience of existing outside of easily-defined labels of identity creates a unique experience in its own right.

At a time when ethnically-ambiguous models fill our Instagram feeds and our high street shop windows, and with the phenomenon of an interracial marriage within the British royal family raising questions about one of the country's most established institutions, in Mixed/Other, Natalie Morris provides a voice to those who have up until now, not been included in the narrative.

Examining identity, dating, family life, beauty, hostility, culture and more through a plethora of people across the UK, Mixed/Other will shine a light on what it is to be mixed race today.

Genres: Nonfiction, Race, Audiobook, Social Justice, Politics, Sociology, Society

240 pages, Hardcover

First published April 15, 2021

Reviews

[Althea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mixed/Other is an extremely powerful nonfiction book about the realities of being a mixed-race person. There are so many valuable points of discussion throughout the book including, though not limited to, the fetishization of mixed race people's bodies, family relationships, generational trauma, proximity to whiteness, the homogenisation of mixed race identities, and the importance of listening to the voices of those who are of two non-white ethnic backgrounds. What makes this all the more interesting is the fact that it is from a British perspective, compared to a lot of the nonfiction I've read recently which is from an American perspective. This was a truly eye-opening read and I highly recommend it to those looking for more insight into British racial politics.

Thank you to Netgalley and Orion for an eARC in return for an honest review!

[Marlon Perrin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simply put, every mixed/multi-heritage person should read this book. It will make you feel seen and heard beyond belief and feel enthused with your strength of individuality and togetherness. Then pass it onto any and all friends - white or non-white but especially those ignorant to the mixed experience.

There were a few moments that I found slightly repetitive and not offering deep enough detail for me, but these are few and far between. This may also be due to the fact that through lived experience I was familiar with some of the theory/phenomenon being explained.

Having said that, I could easily quote 90% of this book with how many top quality anecdotes/takeaways featured, some really interesting new ideas I’ve never considered as well as those that resonated like no other person or story could - I’ve picked out a select few below.

Biggest takeaway that I’ve always known, being mixed is a GIFT.
Incredible work Natalie Morris, you’re a real inspiration. 🙌🏾



Bonus round - relatable/FACTs counter:

Family
- V similar heritage and even experience with family, growing up with white side and growing closer with black side, definitely relatable.
- Not noticing your own race around family and growing up in totally white rooms/spaces with your sibling - *relatable*.
- Having random people question if you’re actually related to your white family members… RE-LATE-ABLE. Have literally experienced all of the above - have never felt so seen & heard.

Exoticisation, Fetishisation, and Othering
- Nagging suspicion’ of mixed families in ads, FACTs. Seems sus af & inauthentic. Tokenism, also using our face for it’s proximity to whiteness.
- Also FUCK Marie Stopes the racist fuck and all ideas stemming from eugenics.
- ‘Being exoticised as beautiful for having particular racial features sounds like it could be a compliment but sixty years ago we were repulsive, and the message is the same either way.. we’re different.’ FACTS.

‘Right type of mixed’ & ‘minority mixes’.
- It’s all about proximity to whiteness - your mix & ethnicity doesn’t matter if it’s not white.
- White precedes all black/Asian mixes on UK census. Sometimes no option, sends message that minority mix has less value than those with whiteness

Workplace
- Minorities who work in majority-white environments are plagued with underlying suspicions of tokenism - FACTS. Preaching to the choir here
- Best approach is to talk to people about your race and make it open convo; hopeful that education will breakdown barriers and biases

The future
- There is no _one_ story for mixed experience, all are incredibly individual & all deserve a voice to be seen & genuinely heard.
- Society must improve it’s ability to talk about race without assumptions of the mixed experience, or we will continue enabling white supremacy & the systems in place that ignore individual mixes & focus on proximity to whiteness.
- Our individuality is our strength, being mixed is a GIFT.

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I believe this book should be readily available in schools something discussed during literacy for those that aren’t mixed it will open your eyes and for those of us that are it will resonate. What are you? The most common question every mixed person gets asked or oh aren’t you exotic while then proceeding to touch your hair and look at you like a manikin in a shop window or animal in a petting zoo there is something quite inhuman about the whole experience I relish the thought that some that read this who would be that person to invade another’s space would think again before doing so. This book was well thought out and brought up many thoughts and feelings as a mixed person you have so glad I finally got to read it!

[Sheela · Rating 5 out of 5]

honestly one I wish I’d read when I was little <3 powerful collection of the unique complexities, privileges and dilemmas of being mixed and esp racially ambiguious, tbh felt much more seen than I was expecting

[Charlotte · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely loved this book. It’s always special when I get to read things that resonate with me and I found this informative, emotionally and very reassuring.

The things I worry about are actually a shared experience and it’s comforting to know that no matter how I feel about myself sometimes there is no ‘right way’ to be mixed race.

[Angel · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really compelling and thought provoking read.
As a "mixed" person I related to quite a lot of this book. I.e. ("Where are you from?" "People act like they are entitled to my full family backstory just by looking at me". Being described as "exotic" but not seeing it as a compliment more of a fetishisation from other people who see nothing wrong with such compliments. "Being the only one in your family who looks like you do and the isolating feeling this can sometimes bring").

This book is a good way at opening discussion surrounding the difficulties and challenges of being in the "Mixed/Other" category, as well as the issues that arise in Family, Love, Relationships; the issues concerning Exoticisation, Fetishisation, Passing and the World of Work as a mixed person, especially in a British society.

[Melissa Merrigan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Being mixed encapsulates so many different people and identities. It’s a term often used to help clump together a shared experience of holding more than one singular racial identity for people who can’t easily check a single box. This book is concise, eloquent, and piercing in its exploration of the mixed experience from fetishizing to passing to featurism and colorism. Ultimately, Morris always comes back to the ways in which being mixed is beautiful/fetishized/idealized based on proximity to whiteness and racial hierarchies. Although there is a societal gravitation towards exoticism and desire for mixed babies and beauty, Morris points out that this ultimately is a commodification of the experience.

“Fetishizing or exoticising mixed people is never a compliment, no matter how it’s dressed up; whether it’s sexual fetishizing in the world of dating, the boom of ethnically ambiguous features in ad campaigns and on social media, or well-meaning friends obsessing about how your future children might look or expressing their own hopes for a mixed baby. This kind of treatment is reductive, divisive, and only serves to turn mixed people into commodities with a value dependent on dilution, on partial whiteness.”

I loved this book. This book was incredibly validating as a mixed person. I spent my whole life in white spaces where I was perceived as exotic or other, always trying to remind people that I’m half white so as to better fit in and assimilate, to continue to hold up whiteness and racial hierarchies. I’ve had to deal countless times with questions like “where are you from (realllly from)” or “where are your parents from” and being called beautiful because of my racial ambiguity or just having people outright guess my ethnicity without my consent. It’s incredibly othering and makes me feel like I’m no more than what others perceive me to be. Reading this book and the varied mixed experiences (including minority mixed people because it’s not always about whiteness and dilution!) made me feel so seen while also pointing out the breadth of experience mixed people have. This book is written by a British author and focuses mainly on the mixed experience in England and I would be so curious to read from the American experience as well since our country is rooted in racism in a very different way.

This book was excellent and now filled with multiple post-its, annotations, and underlinings. Highly recommend for any mixed person or someone partnered with a mixed person or planning on having mixed babies.

[Hanna W · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mixed / Other is a fantastic and accessible look at how race is perceived in the UK, and emphasises the important point that everyone’s experience is different—especially when how someone looks is under constant scrutiny, from the media, work, and even friends.

The author has very carefully curated a book that weaves together her own experiences with those of other people in the UK, and case-studies from the media. This highlights just how different everyone’s experience can be—despite being tied together with familiar experiences of racism, profiling or micro aggressions.

The books publication is timely and important, and I highly recommended it. I’m now off to read more of the Natalie Morris’ articles!

[Claire · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5
sometimes jut need to read something that says what you already know, but worded nicely

[Bangui Boy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Shone a light on parts of the mixed race lived experience that I hadn't considered before. A good bit of writing on the topic, one that needs a lot more investigation / study

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book that started my journey to rediscovering my heritage :)

[Jen Thaxter · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good read very interesting

This was a great book was straight away drawn in by the topic, being mixed myself. I loved the insight it was a really good read

[Bilen-Onabanjo Sinem · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mixed/Other had been on my list longer than my recent read, Biracial Britain and I actually had read it earlier.

Much like Adekoya’s Biracial Britain, Morris explores biracial identity through interviews with people of diverse mixed heritage. Unlike Adekoya, her book is sectioned into themes ranging from fetishisation of mixed race to colourism in ethnic minority culture to the the privilege of lighter skin tone and the concept known as “passing.”

Also like Adekoya, Morris also explores the narratives of those who are often overlooked amongst the more common ethnicity mixes, those whose heritages do not include a black or white parent.

A novel point very well argued by the author is the risk of homogenising minority groups and stripping them of any individual identity in a bid to fit them into the BAME/POC box. Morris’s antedate to this is to define our own identities on our own terms.

[Violet · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very compelling and very intelligent book. I know very little about mixedness and the experience of mixed race people; I know just about a little bit about racism, and this book was so well-researched and so accessible. I think some chapters were less interesting than others and more "basic" - the ones on the fetishization of mixed race women, or mixed race babies, or on beauty standards - they were maybe slightly more... pedestrian? But Natalie Morris really shines when she addresses white passing, and non-white mixed people:

"The erasure of non-white mixed people is nothing new. For decades, the way people have spoken about mixedness has centred whiteness and sidelined everybody else. Even the laws that were created to prevent interracial marriages pivoted around whiteness".

I know it is incredibly naive but I somehow never thought about that experience - of being mixed but non-white, and what it is like and how when we talk about mixedness, there is always the assumption that we are talking about whiteness. The interviews of people she met who have these experiences were really interesting - repetitive at times though - and the book felt personal and intimate, which I really enjoyed.

I also like the fact she reflects a lot on the language she uses and explains why she chooses certain words over others - while acknowledging that this may change in the future. I found it well-written - I particularly appreciated the fact she is from the UK, as I feel a lot of the discourse around racism is often written with the US in mind - and accessible. I maybe would not recommend it to someone who already reads a lot about racism and discrimination - although this really offers a different angle -, but I really enjoyed it.

Free ARC sent by Netgalley.

[Kayla Doris · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was a bit disappointed with this book. I feel like if you’re mixed then you don’t really need to read this. It felt more like sharing what being mixed can be like for monoracial people. I was hoping she would go a bit deeper on the mixed experience and talk about topics that aren’t explored much, but there wasn’t really anything new in here.

[Robyn Graber · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really really enjoyed this book! It was thoroughly informative, and I found the interaction of facts and figures and personal stories from a variety of people extremely engaging. I have come away much more knowledgeable of the varied experiences people have of having mixed heritage.

[Esme Kemp · Rating 4 out of 5]

Continually learning. Trying to make myself the best friend, partner, co-conspirator, ally, soldier, defender, ear to listen to, shoulder to cry on, body to laugh with for all of the mixed people I love in my life.

[eve · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting and insightful exploration of the mixed race experience, with very nuanced personal reflections and interviews with mixed individuals with diverse backgrounds and experiences. I appreciated how the writer identified common threads among the stories and her own, and also pointed out the unique aspects of each person’s experience and relationship with their mixed identities.

Each chapter examines the mixed experience from different perspectives - self and identity, family, dating/relationships and professional life. It was interesting to see the writer and interviewees grapple with complex and uncomfortable privilege that comes with proximity to whiteness, the dangers of erasure and homogeneity that assumes the default as “white and”, and the fetishisation and objectification behind the obsession over the “mixed race aesthetic”.

On a deeper level the mixed experience exposes race as a social construct enabled by white supremacy, and the role of colonial ideology in creating and maintaining racial hierarchies. The writer critiques the utopian views of a post racial world as a convenient way for white people to simplify and deny their role in oppression past and present, and avoid doing the work to dismantle a system they have benefited unjustly from.

It was an insightful and enriching read about race, inequality, white supremacy, binary thinking and intersectionality. I appreciated its focus on how gender, race (and proximity to whiteness), class and age interact and locate each mixed individual’s experience.

As a queer person I could also identify with the experience of fluidity and living between / beyond binaries. There is a unique struggle and power in being ‘other’, we are all connected in our relation to privilege and oppression, and must speak up in the particular spaces we can, for those who cannot.

[Melodie · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a mixed individual myself, I found this book to be very interesting! There is not much literature on this topic, unfortunately, which makes this book all the more important. Being mixed means something different for each individual. Thus, I liked how the author approached the topic by conducting many interviews with mixed people from all ages and backgrounds. It made the book very nuanced. I liked the writing style. I think it also works for people, who aren't English native speakers. I live in Austria and English isn't my first language. Because I couldn't find any books on the topic in German, I decided to read this book instead and I'm so happy I did. Although, I have no experience with being mixed in Britain (and things are quite different in my home country), I found that there a lot of parallels between my experiences and those depicted in the book.

Is there anything to criticize? No, not really. There are not many books on the topic on the market and I think that Natalie Morris did a wonderful job of getting a nuanced discussion going. There is only one thing that I found a bit odd: Almost all people Natalie Morris interviewed had a BIPoC father and a white mother. In my case it is the other way around and I would have loved to hear more about this experience. Also, some of the ²thoughts and ideas are repeatedly introduced throughout the book, making the reading experience a little bit less enjoyable at times.

All in all, I am very happy to have read this book. I am now equipped with the language and knowledge needed to describe my mixed heritage and my everyday experiences, which in turn makes me more educated and confident. I can recommend this book to everyone, who would call themselves mixed/multiethnic/biracial. And I would also recommend it to all people, who want to learn (more) about this very important but also very overlooked topic.

[Honey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I feel seen, in a way. As an expat in an interracial relationship I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been asked “Where are you from, from?”, being described as “exotic”, having to explain why my accent is “a bit twangy and more American than your ‘normal people’”, or why sometimes I feel burnt from stares even though I feel safest when walking with my white other half.

This is a fairly good book that tackles the difficulty of being in the “mixed race/other” category in these times when grey areas are too big a space to find identity and belonging. Weaving the author’s experiences with others who identify as the same, it highlights modern Britain’s naivety on the subject matter. It also tackles some issues on fetishisation, “passing”, non-white mixedness, institutional bias from a mixed race perspective.

It’s a good way to open conversations about mixed race/otherness albeit this only scratches the surface. I had hoped for a little bit more representation from the ESEA/AAPI/BA communities, particularly when the author discussed passing and non-white mixedness.

I also noted how all referenced books and further reading were from the past 21 years (bar one from 1993). Perhaps an indication that while we have long been talking about racism, the discussion to understand the mixed race/other narrative is still in its infancy.

[antonia · Rating 5 out of 5]

An essential and eye opening read. Anyone who knows me knows I’ve always had some confusion around my identity as a white-passing who is half Asian/half White, having grown up in a predominantly Asian area. This book dives deep into the experiences of mixed race individuals, exploring identity, belonging, and the unique challenges faced by those who don’t fit neatly into a single racial category. Hearing others share feelings and experiences similar to mine was not only comforting but also incredibly validating. It made me realise how crucial these conversations are and how important it is to hear from others who have walked the same path. What stood out to me most was how the book made me reflect on things I hadn’t considered before, the subtle ways being mixed race shapes your sense of self and the wider societal implications of existing "in between" cultures. This book feels incredibly personal to me, as it addresses complex emotions I sometimes find myself struggle to articulate. I truly believe this is a book everyone should read, whether or not they are mixed race. It opens up a much needed dialogue about race, identity, and belonging in an increasingly diverse yet divided world. I highly recommend it to anyone looking to better understand the nuances of identity and the importance of embracing all parts of who we are.

[Maddy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would recommend this to anyone wanting to learn more about being mixed and to any mixed person (hi!) who wants to feel just a bit more understood. Especially if you’re UK based!!!

I think the framing of this book was excellent. There was no other way it could have been written to carry the message it did except anecdotally and the anecdotes included were appropriately diverse and necessary. The last chapter also did a good job of framing the need for a better understanding and dialogue of mixed identity as relevant to current events - (the gist of it was: mixedness is identified by its proximity to whiteness it must be understood to be complicit in racial hierarchies and anti racism work will not work without understanding the complexities of it). Yes it’s about self understanding, but this was the more important thing to take from it.

It’s like the author took my tangled thoughts and feelings around my own mixedness and obvs socialised mixedness and found me a bunch of accounts that affirmed and streamlined everything I’ve thought. I don’t read much non fiction but it’s very special when a book does that!

Oooo I also really appreciate a UK book that includes Scotland and Wales so this was a regionally inclusive slay too 😎

[Abiẹs · Rating 5 out of 5]

“If you‘re mixed, you‘ve probably experienced this - the pressure to explain why you don’t fit, why you look the way you do, why your family looks like it does. But we don’t owe anyone an explanation, and certainly not strangers or people we barely know. We don’t owe them any attempt to soothe their discomfort at not being able to place us.“

I’ve been looking for a book about the mixedness and the experience of mixed race people for a while. I’m glad I accidentally came across Natalie Morris‘ book.
From blackfishing to the fetishisation of mixed babies, from the complexities of passing and code-switching to navigating work and dating.

As a mixed person this book made me feel seen. I could draw so many parallels between aspects of my life and the tales told in this book.

I believe we need to have more discussions on how people who are mixed, but do not have any white heritage are often left out of the conversation. Luckily Natalie turned this into a well written discussion.

This book is not only for mixed people, but for everyone who wants to understand the complexities faced by those who are mixed & other.

[Suzuka · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have 53 Kindle highlights in this book. Never have I felt so seen and understood as a mixed-race person. Morris has given voice to mixed-race issues that I have long been familiar with, such as navigating tokenism in the workplace, handling the fetishisation that particularly surrounds the appearance of (often yet to be born) mixed-race children, colourism within minority groups, the privileges that typically come with proximity to whiteness, and how unhelpful and frankly reductive the term BAME is.

The only thing I wasn’t a fan of here was Morris’ automatic sympathy towards Meghan Markle, let alone mentioning her at all. Granted, this book is two years old now, so maybe Morris doesn’t feel the same way anymore. I’m personally so very tired of people (particularly minorities and mixed-race folks) staunchly defending Markle while claiming it was British racism that drove her away. It was her disgusting attitude and proven lies that made her hated here. And I for one didn’t appreciate how she only identified as a black woman when it suited her agenda. Markle should not be used as an example of a mixed-race woman who fell on hard times when she clearly fell on her own sword.

[Cassandra Marie Darling · Rating 3 out of 5]

Will go away and discuss with my auntie who is mixed and it will be good to make connections with what is said here to someone I have watched be ridiculed for as Natalie summarises in places "not being completely on one side".

3 stars (which is a solid good rating!) I didn't fully enjoy the way it has been written. I think it's a journalist thing. I have read a few books on all sorts of subject matters by journalists and it has never resonated strong with me due to just the style in which they write. Feel let down by the interviews given they felt a bit woolly and could of been better presented.

Tickled me the story about Natalie not being believed to be a relation at the party. Been to many do's where me and my auntie have told people we're family and the utter blank stares you get... It is funny but also not funny, it is an odd thing and I really want to see from my auntie's perspective how at 64 she now feels about where the world is at to where she has seen it at.

[David Gilani · Rating 5 out of 5]

YES! I have been waiting for this book for a long time and I was not disappointed. A book that so articulately explores the experience of living in the UK as a mixed-race person. There are obviously a lot of books out there now about race... however a lot of these are US-based, or the ones that are UK-based don't necessarily narrow in on this specific aspect of being mixed race.

Natalie gives brilliant examples of her own life... she includes lots of relevant research... she's also great at exploring areas where we don't have accurate research or data because of oversimplifications. I.e. that not all mixed people are the same. Especially not when you're comparing someone who is mixed with partial white background, compared to someone who is mixed with two minority / global majority backgrounds.

[reba]

definitely one written with liberal white brits in mind. Too gentle maybe. Dunno I suppose my frustration was misdirected, I wanted more from this but realised half way that this wasn’t the book for me. Is much more journalistic and anecdotal than meaningfully sociological or psychological. I know what I would have wanted - more historical context, constructions of race, 20c black resistance in England, European comparisons rather than American, and an Afro pessimismtic angle… I don’t know enough about alll that (yet) to add it but I’m getting there and hoped this book would give me a bit more than it did. Sorry I do see its value I just only wanna chat to other mixed ppl abt this and don’t think good reads is the place for that so marking spoilers so my diary entry is logged but maybe people don’t engage with this……..?

[Ciaran · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book forms a much needed interjection into a national conversation that elides mixed voices.

I think it will resonant with mixed people, many of whom will have wished this book was around earlier, whilst they were struggling to navigate their formative years as a mixed individual.

In the book, Natalie blends technical language from academic studies with the lived experiences and oral histories of mixed people, to provide a well balanced account of mixedness. She covers an array of important topics from identity formation to fetishisation, which I found fruitful for pensive introspection. What a book!

[Di Lebowitz · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the best book I have ever read on this subject matter and one that I wish had been written years ago. As a mixed person, this book made me feel seen.
Morris is a talented writer who weaves well researched material with not only her own story but the stories of other mixed/other people. I found myself unwilling to read quickly as I wanted to savor every word.
This is an important book, a must read - not just for mixed people but everyone.
Thank you Natalie for writing this extraordinary book.

[Kate (Reading Through Infinity)]

This is an interesting look into the lived experiences of people who are mixed race in the UK. Natalie Morris describes her own experiences from growing up and trying to chemically straighten her hair, to being one of the only mixed race people in her newsroom workplace (and the expectations that arise from that). She also shares stories from the people she interviewed for this book, comparing and contrasting them with her own life to show that mixed race people aren't a monolith and white people shouldn't expect them all to have the same experiences.