Gratitude in Life's Trenches: How to Experience the Good Life Even When Everything Is Going Wrong

by Robin Phillips

No end of books these days offer us techniques for self-improvement. Taking a different tack, Robin Phillips shows that God meets us where we are, in the pain and heartache of the present moment. Instead of looking for a way to escape from hardship, we can cultivate an attitude of gratitude, peace, and self-acceptance that will transform our experience of suffering. Drawing on his own experiences and his work as a consultant in the behavioral health industry as well as stories of saints and sufferers, teachings of the Fathers, and recent discoveries in neuroscience, Phillips shows us that the journey to personal well-being is one we can all travel, regardless of the hardships we may face.

328 pages, Paperback

Published August 14, 2020

Reviews

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just read an extraordinarily timely book entitled, Gratitude In Life’s Trenches. This new book by Robin Phillips is on a subject near and dear to my life-gratitude. The book thankfully is not about the ubiquitous, self-help propagated, “Be thankful for all the things that make you happy” nonsense that abounds in books and blogs today. This book is about real, solid sustenance that can bring a person through the storms without drowning. This book is about gratitude as a Christian practice and recognizes the hard work that builds the spiritual muscle to endure when life shipwrecks your plans and “happiness”. In a world where countless lives have been disrupted and most of us need strength to cope with lives that are less than perfect this book provides solid, though-provoking yet eminently accessible ideas for how to live a full life even when that life is stunted, stymied and shut-down.

Gratitude In Life’s Trenches appears a time when we are becoming more aware that the stress which bows us beneath its weight does not come entirely from our outer circumstances. Robin Phillips begins with the recognitions that the meaning of our life does not consist in outward accomplishments, but in our self-awareness and attitude. By considering our “valuation” we can recognize the crucial difference between appraising our value as children of God as opposed to contemporary fallacies of “self-esteem” which can easily cause us to lose our sense of value when our circumstances limit us. This is a common cause of our poor opinion of other people. In an era when polarization is destroying our ability to converse rationally with people with whom we disagree.We must recognize the value of every human being. Respect for others does not depend upon our agreement with them, but it is impossible if our sense of self-worth is dependant on our accomplishment. Self-loathing and pride are opposite ends of the same fallacy. We do not find value in our performance or persona. Our “likes” do not make us worthy of respect but that does not mean that truth is relative.

The range of source material that went into Gratitude In Life’s Trenches has greatly added to its appeal to me. Our Thoughts Determine Our Lives is combined with the latest research on neuroplasticity in a cogent appraisal of contemplative exercises and CBT. Robin Phillips uses resources diverse as Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Victor Frankl, and St. Theophan the Recluse, St. John Chrysostom. By using a broad and careful application of such comprehensive source material he has created a book that is infinitely worth the time to read and apply. Each chapter includes not only detailed notes, and bibliography but also thought provoking questions. This would make an excellent study book for groups and fruitful starting point for individual journalling and reflection.

By combining his own personal story and struggles Robin Phillips leads the reader to recognize that gratitude and attitude are not sterile scientific or salvific attributes that we can merely memorize. Rather it is in the messy application of the principals that we receive the results all humans crave. Practice is a crucial component in any life-skill. Gratitude In Life’s Trenches honesty is as the sub-title promises, How to Experience the Good Life Even When Everything is Going Wrong. I hoped to grab a picture of this new book before I had flagged it, but it was so easy to read that once I began to peruse it I couldn’t resist noting details I will go back to and practice again and again.

[Megan Leathers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Could there be a more fitting book, on a more fitting topic, for 2020 than this? Who among us has not thought at least once “everything is going wrong” this year? Robin Phillips’ work will provide some much needed balm and support for the soul of everyone who reads this.

His style of writing will appeal to the broad spectrum of readers, whether you prefer stories and anecdotes, hard medical science, or religious and philosophical insight. Woven through with Scripture and theological discourse as well as secular research on neurology, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and Emotional Intelligence; Phillips takes a truly holistic look at suffering and the human being, both in the image of Christ. Insightfully, he begins each chapter with questions for the reader to ponder before beginning and thoughtfully includes “Take-Home Points” and relevant notes at the end so that each chapter can be begun and ended like individual lessons in the whole. In addition, throughout, there are helpful lists and personal challenges to take the reader further.

Many of the people and works he cited intrigued me enough to want to explore further the works of George MacDonald, and John’s Chrysostom’s “Letters to Olympia”, as well as further research on Emotional Intelligence (EQ). Additionally, there were numerous moments I stopped reading to reflect on a new insight I was given. Example: The list of “Ordinary Life Blessings” (clean water, shelter, food) really centered me into how much I take for granted as I often needlessly grumble through my day. Or the radical notion that when you are struggling with something – feeling lonely for example, take the focus off yourself and pray instead for the other lonely people of the world.

This book is an easy read but is meant to be savored and re-read throughout the small and great struggles in our lives. The principles set forth in each chapter will hit certain people differently at different times in their “trenches” but like any skill worth having, learning to practice gratitude frequently will provide the most benefit when it is then needed most.

Without giving too much away, I did want to include this paragraph from the beginning of the book that provides a general overview summary of a good portion of the book’s content:

“I came to see that the good life is about finding a type of joy that comes only when we give up the pursuit of happiness and pursue meaning instead (chapter 1). The good life is about learning to be grateful in the midst of life’s problems (chapters 1, 3, and 7), but it is also about learning to be present with God when we are too distressed to see past those problems (chapters 8 and 9). The good life is about improving our lives though baby steps and good habits-including making incremental strides to increase attentiveness (chapter 4) and right thinking patterns (chapters 6 and 7) – but it is also about learning to simply accept ourselves for who we are right now (chapter 2).”

[Alex of Yoe · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a fantastic book on how to cultivate a spirit of gratitude, joy, and resilience no matter what life throws at you. It draws on everything from ancient Christian wisdom to the latest research in psychology and neuroscience to give practical tips and challenge how the reader sees themselves and the world around them.

I am absolutely impressed by the depth and variety of research that went into making this book. It synthesizes a plethora of Christian expressions, scientific research, time periods, and experiences into one easy-to-understand book that is 100% accessible to any Christian reader regardless of denomination or background (I've never before seen quotes by St. Paisios, Mother Theresa, John Piper, and Dr. John Gottman all together in one place. Talk about variety, here it is!).

The writing is very good. It has a gentle, non-judgmental tone that does not come off as sales-pitchy. It uses a good mix of literary devices to demonstrate its points (as well as including engaging reflection questions before each chapter), and is careful to use gender-inclusive language, which is strikingly rare in many Christian self-help books (bonus points there!). It has cutting edge research to back it up, but does not neglect the timeless truths and lessons learned from history. It all connects together beautifully and leaves the reader feeling encouraged and inspired.

I've struggled a lot with staying present and being content, and I feel like this book has helped me hone in on where these issues are coming from and ways to train my brain and spirit to see things differently. It's an easy read but deep. I could only read one chapter a day, because I needed to give myself time to really chew on what he was saying and try to incorporate it into my thinking. I have a feeling I'll be going back to reference it a lot! I feel like this book has given me solid steps and tools to begin the process of being mindful and present and engaging with my pain. I wish I'd known all these things years ago!

I hugely recommend this to any and every Christian who is struggling with gratitude, contentment, and seeing God even in the worst times (and even those not struggling because you'll struggle eventually). This book gives real help that isn't cliche, pithy, or beyond anyone's ability. It's based on spiritual wisdom and the best science can give, presenting us with a holistic approach to truly experiencing "the good life" now, even in the midst of tragedy. Given that it's currently 2020, a more timely book cannot yet be found. Go read it.

[Serena Pridgen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gratitude in Life’s Trenches written by Robin Phillips is an amazing book for the times we are in. It shows how life can be seen in a new way. It shows us how even the small things are something to be grateful for he uses the examples like clean drinking water, freedom of worship, a warm place to sleep at night, accessibility of music and books, medical care, not having to go hungry and these are things we should always be thankful for, and that being grateful for these things is not something we normally think about, but that we should as it will remind us how many things we truly have to be grateful for

In Chapter ten - struggle to find your true self he talks about how two decades of solitary confinement can cause mental and physical issues, that once he was released were still affecting but that he was able to get better with the help of his daughter. We have the choice to either be our true self or just a shell of that self. Its easy to fall into that well of despair but we have to choose to be positive and we have to keep that inner peace I really agree with this. I suffer from complex PTSD, there is a lot I can no longer do, and working right now isnt possible which is very hard for me to accept, but there are still things I can do. I can still be a friend to others, I can still enjoy reading and my pets, and I can still have a good attitude and remember what to be grateful for. Its not always easy but really books like this truly help to retrain how i look at things. Sadly that retraining isnt done once and done, but reminding myself how to appreciate things and letting go of those things that are harmful to me really do help.

I recommend this book to everyone. There are certainly people who will be further ahead on their journey to their true self than others but it can be done. My only regret on this book was the audio version I would like to be able to have made notes in the book for my own benefit, and I will get a paperback version but otherwise the author wrote and incredible book and the narrator was a perfect choice for this book.

[Christine · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is somewhere between 4.5 and 5 starts. I liked this book a lot and I truly benefited from the author’s message. (I’ve started meditating, for example.) I also thought this book ended perfectly, as sacramental living is the perfect bow to tie together everything in the book. I would like to go back to certain chapters in the book to implement the practical suggestions and make recommended mindset shifts in order to get the most out of this book (as it took me almost exactly 4 months to read). One of the only critiques I have is that the chapters are quite lengthy, and sometimes the subsections in the chapters are also long, so I found it hard to stop and marinate in what the author was trying to communicate (hence why I want to go back and reread some sections). This is somewhat mediated by including “take-away points” at the end of each chapter, however, and I found this helpful. I would recommend this book to all, especially Christians. I think Catholics and Orthodox will not have to make as many mental shifts as perhaps many Protestants (especially when reading the last chapter).

[Elise · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent book! Recommended for everyone. A nice blend of spiritual and modern psychology (it actually demonstrates how much of modern psychology supports ancient Christian spiritual practices).

At the same time, this is a very practical guide to cultivating thankfulness.

[Keris · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOVE this book. I was able to apply the topics Phillips talked about to my life. It taught me how to live in gratitude no matter the circumstance. As a natural negative thinker, I want to apply what I learned in this book to my everyday life.

[Wynter · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’m going to preface my review by saying that I received an audio copy as a gift, and chose to do the review based on the title alone. I don’t know any of the author’s previous works, so my opinion is both unbiased and maybe a little shallow.

The author has gathered and presents a wide variety of material from scientific research, the Scriptures, pastors, priests, and influencers in varying faith traditions, as well as his own social circle. He also offers practical exercises. It seems to be a combination of clinical and personal approach.

The book does read as far more academic than I was expecting based on the title, almost like I’m reading a college paper, as it is full of references, quotes and sidebars, often citing from only a small handful of source material. I might have preferred he recommend we read George MacDonald and then come to this book as it came across as largely a commentary on MacDonald’s thoughts.

He does share “anecdotes” from people he seems to know personally, but the conversations he quotes honestly sound made-up to me - they read not so much as actual conversations between two people but rather a fictionalized rendering written a little too properly.

So.... overall..... I wanted to get more out of this book, but I think having consumed it in the audio format was not the right approach to get out of it what I would have liked. Unfortunately, I do not believe this book lends itself well to being an audiobook. There are a LOT of quotes and sidebars, which made it really difficult to keep track of when it was the author speaking from his own mind, and when he was quoting or referencing somebody else. He also skips around frequently between stories, starting them in one chapter and then finishing them later, which I at least personally found quite distracting.

But it’s not all negative and I know some folks really benefit from having an audio choice! This would be a great book for a discussion group, and one day I may give it a try in physical form so I can better digest it and use the journal/discussion prompts. Because he does quote from so much other source material, if one wanted to dig deeper into this topic, a research trip to the library would be an easy task.

(As a practical note, I benefited from listening to the book at a 1.3 speed, as this seemed to give the reader a more natural gait.)

I can only give the audiobook 3 stars as I can’t recommend it in this medium, though I think I’d likely give the hard copy 4.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Phenomenal Book! Gratitude In Life’s Trenches isn’t a feel good, look at the bright side, buck-up buttercup ‘Self-Help’ type of book. It is a down to earth, easy to understand, and, quite frankly, fascinating study on how to approach the pain and difficulty in our lives with well thought out Questions for Reflection, Quotes, Challenges, Take-Home Points, and a few exercises to do. This is a life-altering step-by-step guide for how to experience the good life. I have come away with a whole new appreciation for LIFE - the good AND the difficulties - which are truly blessings in disguise. The stories and examples beautifully bring all of the scientific information to life.

Chapter 1: The Power of Attitude and the Will to Meaning
Chapter 2: Why It’s Okay to Be You
Chapter 3: Grateful for the Smallest of Mercies
Chapter 4: What Are You Paying Attention To?
Chapter 5: How to Befriend Your Feelings
Chapter 6: Eliminate the Thinking Errors That Hold You Back
Chapter 7: The Life-Changing Magic of Reframing
Chapter 8: The Virtue of Vulnerability
Chapter 9: Don’t Waste Your Pain
Chapter 10: Struggle to Find Your True Self
Chapter 11: How To Cultivate a Sacramental Imagination

[Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received a review copy of Gratitude in Life's Trenches: How To Experience the Good Life Even When Everything Is Going Wrong.

As I read through the book, I found some parts that really spoke to me, and other parts that I wished had more depth. The book covered topics that I have been interested in for the past several years, and that influenced my reactions to the ideas that author Robin Phillips presents. I think that if I were new to more of the information, I would have found it more engaging. I believe that readers who are looking for an introduction to topics like cognitive behavioral therapy and mindfulness will find this book more profitable than will someone who is already familiar with these concepts.

However, I did enjoy reading about ideas that appear in present-day therapy from an Orthodox perspective. When I've learned about these ideas from secular sources, I always test whether they fit with my understanding of Orthodoxy, and it was really nice to read the work of an author who is making those connections directly. For example, when Phillips wrote about our perceived meanings of traumatic experiences versus the "actual meaning I can have access to" (pg. 148), I appreciated that he used Bible verses to demonstrate God's truth that genuinely conquers what our feelings might tell us.

Some of the parts in the book that engaged me the most were when Phillips shared his own struggles with depression and anxiety after some major upheaval occurred in his life. I always appreciate hearing people's real-life experiences of healing and learning to process their traumatic experiences. However, I was disappointed that he seemed to leave off in the middle of talking about his own experiences, and he never came back to how he moved through the difficult time that he was in.

Just as I was intrigued by Phillips's real experience, by the same token, I found other examples that he used less satisfying. I found that he included a lot of stories in which it was unclear whether the characters were actual people whose names he had changed, or whether they were fictional examples that he came up with. I found this distracting because stories about how people improve their lives are more meaningful and convincing to me if I know that they really happened. These examples often felt generic to me, and that made it difficult for me to connect with them.

Overall, Gratitude in Life's Trenches is a book that I hoped I would enjoy more. I think some readers will really appreciate it and find that it gives them tools for healthier ways of approaching their struggles in life. It seems to me that it works best as an introduction or overview for those who want to begin learning about topics like thinking errors, re-framing, mindfulness, and intentional gratitude. Personally, I was looking for more in-depth discussion, and it was too often the case that the book skimmed the surface but didn't delve deeper into the topics that interested me.

[S · Rating 5 out of 5]

One can learn quite a bit by listening to this book. "Gratitude in Life's Trenches" helps one see that seeking happiness can actually cause one to be unhappy. Meaning is what makes life worth living. Additionally as a Christian, seeing life's harder moments through the lens of God's good and perfect plans for us and being grateful for His plans helps us "reframe", events and see the good that can come through these tough times. This is a simplified summary of the author's main points. Robin Phillips amplifies these points by giving us stories and quotes from saints, Christian authors, and persons such as Victor Frankl and Dietrich Bonhoeffer who endured the horrors of concentration camps. He doesn't stop there. He also includes the findings of scientific research on living with gratitude, attitude, and meaning. Although I enjoyed this audio book, I found myself wanting to have the traditional book form so that I might highlight some of the inspiring quotes, research, and stories that Phillips included. I found the narrator's voice was a bit too "perfect" at first yet it grew on me as I continued to listen. I highly recommend this book to those who are going through hard times presently and also to those who are not, as a preparation for rough patches that are sure to come.

[Nicole Roccas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Who among us has not, at one time or another, found themselves trapped in the dark, disorienting trenches of life? When we are at our lowest, what we most long for is not an end to pain, but a lens to help us locate meaning from within it. Like a luminous beacon, Robin Phillips's *Gratitude in the Trenches* guides travelers lost on the seas of stress, weariness, chronic toxic thinking, and despondency back to the harbor of gratitude and the peace only Christ offers. By integrating contemporary therapeutic concepts including cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), mindfulness, and logotherapy with historical Christian disciplines like the Jesus Prayer and sacramental living, Phillips affords readers a time-honored toolbox of granular skills and strategies that help reel the restless mind back into the heart in prayer. This book will not change your life, rather it will help change your *perspective* on the struggles in that life, which (as Phillips, too, has learned) is of infinitely greater value.

DISCLAIMER: I was invited to endorse this book by the publisher.

[Sandra Simmons · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful connections between prayer, psychology, science and every day problems and challenges that keep one separated from a peaceful and joyful life. Robin uses his experience and knowledge from his formal education in the fields of history, behavioral science and Christianity to meet life's challenges and learning experience, which are usually painful. The book is easy to read, but one that I may never finish reading because there are so many thoughts that I want to go back to. There is such in-depth thought and research that Robin Phillips applies to case studies of actual people who confront life's challenges. Robin Phillips draws upon his spiritual Christian life and relates experiences from a monastery where he spent a week praying and meditating.
This is a very inspirational book, and one that I will keep referring to for my own spiritual growth.

[Paul Dubuc · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is different from similar books I've read. It's a very practical and comprehensive guide to the ways that gratitude, based on the Christian faith, can help us thrive in very difficult times and circumstances. I wish I had this book many years ago. Most helpful was Philips' background in Eastern Orthodox Christianity from which he draws on some very good sources. There are many different facets to the effects of gratitude explored in this book. For those wanting to explore them, there are bound to be many helpful things found in this book.

[Petra · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book that is hard to review.
It was a solid companion and I read it in a timely period, it felt like several books together not just one.

It combines spirituality, mental and emotional health, history, personal stories and even poetry or literature excerpts brilliantly.
I am glad I read it across the span of almost 6 months. It is not light, although easy to read, this is like a heavy nutritious meal that is rich in guidance and takes a while to savor and digest.
It is void of cliches, has lots of practical advice and very empathetic.

On some days, I felt the book completely aware of what I am going through and helped me open my eyes with truth and wisdom when nothing else could help.
This is not just a book on how to go through difficulties on life with resilience but also on how to nurture fulfilling relationships and live a meaningful life.

The book helps the reader with practical tools, mindset shifts and spiritual practices, to be able to say along with the writer:

Whatever circumstances you may be facing, loveliness, beauty and hope are always present if you are determined to find them

My favorite chapters:
The Virtue of Vulnerability
Don't Waste Your Pain
How to Cultivate a Sacramental Imagination

The things inside us that we can control (e.g., our attitude, values, and deepest spiritual convictions) are more important than the things in the world that we cannot control

[CEGatling · Rating 2 out of 5]

I tried very hard and multiple times to read this book. I failed. I am sure that someone will glean something from this book and from this format, but it simply was not for me.

As for the narration...I had to speed up the narration after falling asleep twice. The narrator reminded me of the voice-overs on those deadly boring movies and videos we had to watch in school.

I stalled on this one in the middle of chapter 3.

2.5 stars on what I did manage to complete.

Full Disclosure: I was given a copy of this book in return for an honest review. Thank you for the opportunity to do this, AFP!

[Sarah D · Rating 4 out of 5]

All truth is God's truth! This book reiterates this: it takes the gems of truth from modern science and psychology and presents them with Biblical truth and theology. Sometimes I felt it moved a bit too much towards determinism, but overall it was excellent. I plan to return to this book many times again in the near future.

[Beth · Rating 4 out of 5]

A profound read in gratitude that is needed in these days! Written by an Orthodox christian but applicable to anyone who is searching for an inspiration to find purpose and joy amidst suffering.

[Christine · Rating 3 out of 5]

A real mix of very helpful direction towards real gratitude on the one hand and psycho-babble self-care techniques on the other.

[Chelsea · Rating 5 out of 5]

So good. This will be on my yearly reread list. “See the divine splendor that lies concealed in the stuff of ordinary life.”