What do you think?
Rate this book


Hardcover
First published January 1, 1961
It's better not to start a'runnin' in the first place, 'cause the road jus' don't have no end once't you start.
"...like a..." | the Willeford similes
When she sniffled her mouth would shimmy like a fishin’ cork with a perch too lil’to git caught a-tryin’ to tug the worm off'n the hook.
When I seen him I wasn’t happy no more. Ever’thing come back to me like a mule kickin’ you in the stomach.
I taken a quick look behind an’ seen the room clerk wasn’t lookin’ an’ I hit that gal, hard, in the stummick. The air went outta her like a engine coughin’ jes’ as it runs outta gas.
Him an’ the bed smelt like a moonshine dump with the still runnin’ wide open. You coulda slapped likker outta the air with a paddle, it was so strong.
I cain’t let you outta my sight fer five minutes ‘thout you blabbin’ ever’thing to somebody. I cain’t watch you ever minute like a kid playin’ with a straight razor. You got no bizness loose in a place like Big D.
Mostly what I ’member ’bout him is he kept a-grinnin’ at me like a dam’ skunk eatin’ out of a hairbrush.
He looked a little under the weather. His face was pasty white with sprinkled-paprika cheeks, and his eyes were two blood-covered lemon drops. Like he might have been celebrating his recent financial success with bottled elation.
He was a-blinkin’ at me like an old owl in the sunshine. Like his eyes was hurtin’ bad as mine with the mustard in ’em.
Donald finally choked off his screams and started trying to plead with Dad. His eyes, streaming big tears, begged for mercy. His tongue tried to push words through his sobs without the help of his lip, and crimson bubbles built up and burst like atomizer spray.
Crack! Dad’s whip crashed through the air again—and this time I did feel just a little sick.
The whip went into the flesh under the kid’s left eye and tore a gaping, mushy hole. The boy’s eyeball was torn out and hanging by strands of skin, laying on his cheekbone with blood washing over it. Donald half-stood with an animal-like scream, then fell back on his chair in a dead faint.
I taken a-holt of his ear an’ twisted him up to his feet, him a-squawkin’ like a stubborn ol settin’ hen pushed offa her nest.
He went down like a poleaxed steer in a slaughter chute.
The headache remained constant, like a bride of three days.
I must have made a picture. Somewhat more than two hundred pounds of beef with a white bandage around the top of my head like a turban, sticking out of a red, midget car. Oh, well.
We pulled up behind a police car parked in front and the crowd turned, gave us a thorough once-over and started arguing about who we were. They looked like a flock of sheep who didn’t know if they were getting a ram or a goat.
Tears was rollin’ down my face an’ my heart was achin’ like a sore tooth
She turned an’ seen the gun. She let out a mousy squeak an’ dropped on the floor like a bundle o’ rags.
“Where'd you get the money?”
I pulled my fist back to bury it in the same spot. But he held his hand up to signal he’d tell me when he got his breath. I waited one more minute and he was breathing easy enough to get words out.
“What money?” he croaked.
I shoved the first two fingers of my right hand into his big nose and pushed viciously upward. Yellow eyes were swim- ming in tears as he backed up under the pressure of the stiff fingers reaching through his head for his brain.
He backed into the plate glass window and was stopped short.
“Where’d you get the money?”
I jerked the fingers out of his nose and the way he groaned and grabbed for it they must have hurt as bad coming out as going in. I wiped my fingers on the lapels of his coat. His nose was bleeding nicely.
“It’s ransom money,” he said.
He spit it out along with a little blood and seemed to be pretty bitter about the position he was in.
“Don’t put yore fingers in my nose no more, Mister—that hurts!”
“Interesting. I know a few tricks that hurt worse, too. If you don’t explain in full about the money I'll begin showing you a few.”
I pretended to reach for him again and he was panic stricken. He blurted out the wildest tale I ever heard—and I’ve listened to a lot of mad fairy stories in the department in L.A. But this yarn was just fantastic enough to have a ring of truth.