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You Don't Live Here: An LGBTQ+ Young Adult Novel of First Love, Loss, and Identity
Robyn Schneider, author of The Beginning of Everything , delivers a witty and heartbreaking tale of first love, second beginnings, and last chances in this timely and authentic bisexual coming-of-age story, perfect for fans of Becky Albertalli and Adam Silvera and now available in paperback. In Southern California, no one lives more than thirty miles from the nearest fault line. Sasha Bloom is standing right on top of one when her world literally crumbles around her. With her mother now dead and father out of the picture, Sasha moves in with her estranged grandparents. Living in her mom’s old bedroom, Sasha has no idea who she is anymore. Luckily, her grandparents are certain they know who she should A lawyer in the making. Ten pounds skinnier. In a socially advantageous relationship with a boy from a good family—a boy like Cole Edwards. And Cole has ideas for who Sasha should be, too. His plus one at lunch. His girlfriend. His. Sasha tries to make everything work, but that means folding away her love of photography, her grief for her mother, and he growing interest in the magnificently clever Lily Chen. Sasha wants to follow Lily off the beaten path, to discover hidden beaches, secret menus, and the truth about dinosaur pee. But being friends with Lily might lead somewhere new. Is Sasha willing to stop being the girl everyone expects and let the girl beneath the surface breath through?
384 pages, Paperback
First published June 2, 2020
63 people are currently reading
7684 people want to read
About the author
Robyn Schneider
14 books2,486 followersRobyn Schneider grew up in Southern California, where she spent her childhood reading fantasy novels and searching for secret passages. She’s a graduate of Columbia University, where she studied creative writing, and the University of Pennsylvania Perelman School of Medicine, where she earned a Masters of Bioethics. Robyn is the bestselling author of The Beginning of Everything, Extraordinary Means, Invisible Ghosts, and You Don’t Live Here. Her work is available across the world in over a dozen languages. Her newest novel, The Other Merlin, will be published in September 2021. She lives in Los Angeles with her TV producer husband, their tiny puppy, and far too many books. You can follow her on Twitter and Instagram @robynschneider
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May 25, 2020Think "Lorelai Gilmore died in an Earthquake, leaving Rory to move in with Richard and Emily" if they all lived in California, Rory was bi and more into photography than literature, and Jess was a girl. There are some really lovely coming-of-age moments here and especially in a queer context, where Sasha gives a lot of thought to what she wants, what's right for her, what makes a good friend, and how you discern attraction from really wanting to be with someone, and Sasha and Lily are really cute together. A sweet and affirming read.
June 11, 2020
I loved the story but why do people hate the word "lesbian" so much ? The love interest keeps saying she's "gay" and the word "lesbian" is only used twice in the whole book. Twice by homophobic characters. For real "lesbian" is not a bad word.
November 18, 2020
i’m sure sasha and lily enjoyed the feeling of schadenfreude after trump lost
March 9, 2020
Actual rating: 2.5 stars
When it comes to You Don’t Live Here, I have mixed feelings. I didn’t love the book, but I didn’t hate it. I really wanted to love this book, and in the beginning I did; it started out so strong. But by the end of the book, I found that while I liked the story, but I was also bored with it—not enough to hate it or even fully dislike it, but enough to feel dissatisfied with my reading experience. It’s not that I need a story to be 100 percent fresh and new and exciting, but I did need this particular story to have a little more originality to it, mostly because I found the story to be entirely predictable, which contributed to my overall dissatisfaction.
There were some small things that bugged me. The characters had distinct personalities, and some of them had depth, but at the same time, they still felt like stereotypes, especially Cole. Some of the dialogue was so short and choppy that it became stilted, especially because there was a lot “he said,” “she replied,” “he retorted,” without any idea of what the characters were doing while they were speaking. What were they looking at? Were they fidgeting with anything? In those moments, I really needed more sensory detail about what was going on with and around the characters while they were talking.
My biggest disappointment with this book, however, came from all the moments when the book become political, not because it was political, but because it felt like the author was pushing an agenda. As a disclaimer, what I just said, and what I’m about to say, is not a reflection of my political beliefs or whether or not I agree with an author’s political beliefs; instead, it’s reflection of how I’ve felt with many YA books I’ve read recently that feel like authors are pushing agendas, which I’m just not a fan of. A book can talk about politics and have characters discuss their political beliefs without it feeling like an agenda is being pushed on the reader. With You Don’t Live Here, there were moments when that happened: Lily and Sasha talked about the political climate affected their lives, and it was simple and natural and felt like them observing and analyzing the world around them. Then, there were other moments when Sasha would say or think something that didn’t feel like she was just making observations about the world around her, and instead felt like the author telling us what she thinks and what we need to think. Also, because there were times when it felt like the book was pushing an agenda, it also felt like the book wasn’t quite sure what it wanted to be. Is it a look at what it’s like to be LGBTQ right now? Is it a book about #metoo? Because it did both, and one was more successful than the other.
What I did really like about this book was the representation and Sasha’s journey toward self-discovery. Her grief is real, and her trying to figure out who she is separate from her relationship with her mother, and who she is versus who people want her to be and try to make her to be, was the best part of the book. Even though parts of it were too predictable, it was authentic and realistic, and I found myself rooting for Sasha up until the very end. This is a book that encourages people to be themselves and live authentically to the best of their abilities, even if it means going against how other people think you should live your life, and I loved that.
Because I have mixed feelings about You Don’t Live Here, I’ve struggled with how to rate this book. I don’t think I disliked it enough to only give it two stars, but I’m also not sure I liked it enough to give it three stars. So, I’m settling at 2.5 stars, rounded up to three. I think a lot of people are going to love this book, but for me, it missed the mark, just a little too much.
When it comes to You Don’t Live Here, I have mixed feelings. I didn’t love the book, but I didn’t hate it. I really wanted to love this book, and in the beginning I did; it started out so strong. But by the end of the book, I found that while I liked the story, but I was also bored with it—not enough to hate it or even fully dislike it, but enough to feel dissatisfied with my reading experience. It’s not that I need a story to be 100 percent fresh and new and exciting, but I did need this particular story to have a little more originality to it, mostly because I found the story to be entirely predictable, which contributed to my overall dissatisfaction.
There were some small things that bugged me. The characters had distinct personalities, and some of them had depth, but at the same time, they still felt like stereotypes, especially Cole. Some of the dialogue was so short and choppy that it became stilted, especially because there was a lot “he said,” “she replied,” “he retorted,” without any idea of what the characters were doing while they were speaking. What were they looking at? Were they fidgeting with anything? In those moments, I really needed more sensory detail about what was going on with and around the characters while they were talking.
My biggest disappointment with this book, however, came from all the moments when the book become political, not because it was political, but because it felt like the author was pushing an agenda. As a disclaimer, what I just said, and what I’m about to say, is not a reflection of my political beliefs or whether or not I agree with an author’s political beliefs; instead, it’s reflection of how I’ve felt with many YA books I’ve read recently that feel like authors are pushing agendas, which I’m just not a fan of. A book can talk about politics and have characters discuss their political beliefs without it feeling like an agenda is being pushed on the reader. With You Don’t Live Here, there were moments when that happened: Lily and Sasha talked about the political climate affected their lives, and it was simple and natural and felt like them observing and analyzing the world around them. Then, there were other moments when Sasha would say or think something that didn’t feel like she was just making observations about the world around her, and instead felt like the author telling us what she thinks and what we need to think. Also, because there were times when it felt like the book was pushing an agenda, it also felt like the book wasn’t quite sure what it wanted to be. Is it a look at what it’s like to be LGBTQ right now? Is it a book about #metoo? Because it did both, and one was more successful than the other.
What I did really like about this book was the representation and Sasha’s journey toward self-discovery. Her grief is real, and her trying to figure out who she is separate from her relationship with her mother, and who she is versus who people want her to be and try to make her to be, was the best part of the book. Even though parts of it were too predictable, it was authentic and realistic, and I found myself rooting for Sasha up until the very end. This is a book that encourages people to be themselves and live authentically to the best of their abilities, even if it means going against how other people think you should live your life, and I loved that.
Because I have mixed feelings about You Don’t Live Here, I’ve struggled with how to rate this book. I don’t think I disliked it enough to only give it two stars, but I’m also not sure I liked it enough to give it three stars. So, I’m settling at 2.5 stars, rounded up to three. I think a lot of people are going to love this book, but for me, it missed the mark, just a little too much.
June 30, 2020
2.5 stars.
I'm kind of conflicted with this book. The premise sounded interesting and I was into it in the beginning. A big earthquake hits SoCal and in an area I know! Nitpicky thing but I've never heard anybody refer to San Bernardino county as San Bernardino Valley before so that was kind of weird. I feel like the author just googled the area. ANYWAY, big earthquake hits and the MC's mother dies in the quake. She moves in with her grandparents and her life is turned upside down.
Some of the characters were really cliche and one dimensional and others actually had some depth. I was NOT a fan of Cole, especially after what he did to Sasha. It took until . I did love Lily for the most part but when Sasha was figuring out her sexuality, she said to take her time at one point and then got frustrated she was taking too long at another? There was also the cliche trope I hate where they don't communicate and don't let them EXPLAIN so they suffer for a while. I do like the positive bisexual representation because that isn't in books as often. I loved reading about Sasha figuring out her feelings and the way it was all developed.
Otherwise, it was simplistic writing. There was a lot of 'he said' and 'she said' and it was glaringly apparent when it's being read out loud. Give your characters more emotion in the way they say things. This was not my favorite YA book I've read in a while.
I'm kind of conflicted with this book. The premise sounded interesting and I was into it in the beginning. A big earthquake hits SoCal and in an area I know! Nitpicky thing but I've never heard anybody refer to San Bernardino county as San Bernardino Valley before so that was kind of weird. I feel like the author just googled the area. ANYWAY, big earthquake hits and the MC's mother dies in the quake. She moves in with her grandparents and her life is turned upside down.
Some of the characters were really cliche and one dimensional and others actually had some depth. I was NOT a fan of Cole, especially after what he did to Sasha. It took until . I did love Lily for the most part but when Sasha was figuring out her sexuality, she said to take her time at one point and then got frustrated she was taking too long at another? There was also the cliche trope I hate where they don't communicate and don't let them EXPLAIN so they suffer for a while. I do like the positive bisexual representation because that isn't in books as often. I loved reading about Sasha figuring out her feelings and the way it was all developed.
Otherwise, it was simplistic writing. There was a lot of 'he said' and 'she said' and it was glaringly apparent when it's being read out loud. Give your characters more emotion in the way they say things. This was not my favorite YA book I've read in a while.
May 6, 2021
Ooooh this was a toughie. About halfway through listening to this I thought FOR SURE it was gonna be a 2/3-star read, because I just found it so incredibly frustrating. The main character was passive, the people in her life were uniformly terrible, and while the portrayal of grief was very well-handled and one of the strongest parts of the novel...it was just really really hard to see the main character go through such a terrible thing and then be subjected to things like controlling, critical grandparents and nasty new "friends" without ever sticking up for herself or saying a word in her own defense.
And then, quite out of nowhere, it sort of hit me that Sasha's passivity was the point. It was supposed to be tough, because it was supposed to be true, and what, really, is harder than the truth?
When we first meet Sasha, she's pretty much alone in the world except for her single mom. Scarred from a bullying incident in middle school at the hands of a former best friend, she carefully keeps herself to the sidelines and goes to great effort not to do or be anything that might attract less-than-positive attention—including quashing the part of her that's attracted to girls as well as guys. But when California is shaken by an earthquake that kills her mom, she's suddenly thrust into a brand-new world where hiding on the sidelines is no longer an option: her mother's estranged parents are now her guardians, and their way of handling their grief over the death of their daughter is to treat Sasha as their do-over—correcting all of their perceived mistakes by controlling every single aspect of Sasha's life, from her extracurriculars, to the people she spends time with, to even the boy they'd like her to date.
The novel became infinitely more satisfying for me once I realized that Sasha's willingness to take all of these injustices and suppress her own needs and desires comes from a kind of grief, too. Her grandparents don't know how to cope with the loss of their daughter, so their approach to suddenly having Sasha in their care is to try and fix all of their parenting "mistakes" with her. Sasha doesn't know these grandparents well at all; it's a moment of shock and realization for her when she learns that they were relieved that she survived the earthquake. Prior to this moment, halfway through the book, it's never occurred to her before that her grandparents love her; so of course she goes along with whatever they want. They're all she has left. If being exactly what they want her to be is the way to earn their love, of course she'll do it.
Fortunately for all involved, Sasha's grandparents go a lot deeper than that, and the book really picked up once we saw Sasha break away a bit from her grandparents' friends' snotty grandchildren and start developing a friendship (and then more....) with her charming, artistic neighbor, Lily. But as a whole, the book's portrayal of grief—and the theme of putting things back together after they've been fractured—ended up affecting me significantly more than I'd thought it would, and left me thinking about this book long after I finished listening. I know I won't forget Sasha any time soon.
And then, quite out of nowhere, it sort of hit me that Sasha's passivity was the point. It was supposed to be tough, because it was supposed to be true, and what, really, is harder than the truth?
When we first meet Sasha, she's pretty much alone in the world except for her single mom. Scarred from a bullying incident in middle school at the hands of a former best friend, she carefully keeps herself to the sidelines and goes to great effort not to do or be anything that might attract less-than-positive attention—including quashing the part of her that's attracted to girls as well as guys. But when California is shaken by an earthquake that kills her mom, she's suddenly thrust into a brand-new world where hiding on the sidelines is no longer an option: her mother's estranged parents are now her guardians, and their way of handling their grief over the death of their daughter is to treat Sasha as their do-over—correcting all of their perceived mistakes by controlling every single aspect of Sasha's life, from her extracurriculars, to the people she spends time with, to even the boy they'd like her to date.
The novel became infinitely more satisfying for me once I realized that Sasha's willingness to take all of these injustices and suppress her own needs and desires comes from a kind of grief, too. Her grandparents don't know how to cope with the loss of their daughter, so their approach to suddenly having Sasha in their care is to try and fix all of their parenting "mistakes" with her. Sasha doesn't know these grandparents well at all; it's a moment of shock and realization for her when she learns that they were relieved that she survived the earthquake. Prior to this moment, halfway through the book, it's never occurred to her before that her grandparents love her; so of course she goes along with whatever they want. They're all she has left. If being exactly what they want her to be is the way to earn their love, of course she'll do it.
Fortunately for all involved, Sasha's grandparents go a lot deeper than that, and the book really picked up once we saw Sasha break away a bit from her grandparents' friends' snotty grandchildren and start developing a friendship (and then more....) with her charming, artistic neighbor, Lily. But as a whole, the book's portrayal of grief—and the theme of putting things back together after they've been fractured—ended up affecting me significantly more than I'd thought it would, and left me thinking about this book long after I finished listening. I know I won't forget Sasha any time soon.
Read
July 7, 2020Look I wanted to love this but I couldn’t get past the “she’s pretty for a 37 year old” comment right at the beginning.
September 12, 2020
My Rating: 2.5 stars rounded up
In California, you're never more than 30 miles away from the nearest fault line. When a huge earthquake kills Sasha's mother, she's forced to live with her rich grandparents in Republican suburbia. This is difficult for Sasha, a plus-size bi girl, because she has to put herself away to please her grandparents. This all goes up into flames when she meets Cole and Lily, whom she gets crushes on. Will Sasha break down her walls?
My Breakdown:
- My whole review accidentally got deleted and I'm not about to write it all again so bear with me, please. It was a long one too. And please excuse me if this is a bit bad and rushed. #MyInternetConnectionStopHatingMeChallenge
- Basically, I found this book flat. I had no emotional connection to the book, and I really didn't care for it. Some characters were very one-dimensional while others were over-developed to the point of annoyance. Cole was an entire douchebag and I don't know how Sasha kept running back to him and Lily was a hypocrite. Sasha was also a pushover and annoying, but I'll give her a pass considering that her mother died and she was very traumatized.
- The word "lesbian" was used twice in the whole book, and it was used as an insult too. "Lesbian" is not a bad word, guys. This isn't really much criticism, but it was odd to me. Identify however you want to identify, but "lesbian" isn't a cuss.
- The political commentary was also really rushed and put in hastily. There were some blurbs every once in a while on how President Trump sucks ass and, not that I don't disagree, but it didn't really fit in with the book. A decent book with good and relevant political commentary is Internment, where it fits into the storyline. This one doesn't at all. It seems like it was just put in so the author could be "woke." Didn't really work out.
- This wasn't one of the best YA contemporaries I've read this year, or ever, to be honest. Sure, some may enjoy this, but there were too many flaws and it didn't get me emotionally invested or that interested. I guess this just wasn't for me.
---
Rep: plus-size bi MC, Chinese-American lesbian LI
TW: biphobia, homophobia, death of a loved one, fatphobia
In California, you're never more than 30 miles away from the nearest fault line. When a huge earthquake kills Sasha's mother, she's forced to live with her rich grandparents in Republican suburbia. This is difficult for Sasha, a plus-size bi girl, because she has to put herself away to please her grandparents. This all goes up into flames when she meets Cole and Lily, whom she gets crushes on. Will Sasha break down her walls?
My Breakdown:
- My whole review accidentally got deleted and I'm not about to write it all again so bear with me, please. It was a long one too. And please excuse me if this is a bit bad and rushed. #MyInternetConnectionStopHatingMeChallenge
- Basically, I found this book flat. I had no emotional connection to the book, and I really didn't care for it. Some characters were very one-dimensional while others were over-developed to the point of annoyance. Cole was an entire douchebag and I don't know how Sasha kept running back to him and Lily was a hypocrite. Sasha was also a pushover and annoying, but I'll give her a pass considering that her mother died and she was very traumatized.
- The word "lesbian" was used twice in the whole book, and it was used as an insult too. "Lesbian" is not a bad word, guys. This isn't really much criticism, but it was odd to me. Identify however you want to identify, but "lesbian" isn't a cuss.
- The political commentary was also really rushed and put in hastily. There were some blurbs every once in a while on how President Trump sucks ass and, not that I don't disagree, but it didn't really fit in with the book. A decent book with good and relevant political commentary is Internment, where it fits into the storyline. This one doesn't at all. It seems like it was just put in so the author could be "woke." Didn't really work out.
- This wasn't one of the best YA contemporaries I've read this year, or ever, to be honest. Sure, some may enjoy this, but there were too many flaws and it didn't get me emotionally invested or that interested. I guess this just wasn't for me.
---
Rep: plus-size bi MC, Chinese-American lesbian LI
TW: biphobia, homophobia, death of a loved one, fatphobia
July 20, 2020
I actually haven't read any Schneider since her debut, since most of them didn't sound like my genre, but now she's here with an f/f contemporary romance, and so obviously I'm here too. I liked this one, which I listened to in one marathon session on audiobook during a road trip to quarantine with a friend rather than at home.
The concept on this one is kinda weird. It's almost exactly like a shyer Rory Gilmore ends up going to live with Richard and Emily, who she doesn't know very well, after her mother dies in an earthquake. The personalities completely mesh with the Gilmores, except, perhaps, for Sasha's. It's hard for me to imagine Gilmore Girls wasn't an inspiration, and it's shocking that someone would kill off Lorelei in the very start or at all. BUT, if you can get past that, it's pretty cool.
Sasha's established from the first scene, where she's working in a museum and decides to just let a child keep stealing after he threatens to get her fired, as someone who doesn't know how to stand up for herself. Partially, perhaps, she has been living in the shadow of her amazing mom, but mostly she's folded into herself because of bullying. Her former best friend turned on her, accused her of being a lesbian, broke up with Sasha's first boyfriend for her, and spread an endless succession of rumors.
Going to live with her grandparents, Sasha's at first awash in grief and doesn't have the energy to question much. When the new school year arrives, she's forced out of the house to try to make new friends with the kids of the country club set. This goes surprisingly well, and Sasha's hopeful life will be different now, but she's still terrified all the time that they will realize how uncool she is and dump her, so she rarely speaks up about anything. Though I didn't react to it the same way as Sasha, I can speak to the way friendlessness as you come of age affects your mental health, and I totally believe the way Sasha reacted, by just trying to be invisible and make herself the smallest target. (I reacted with sarcasm and bitchiness; it didn't help, but hey everyone has their own defense mechanisms.)
Sasha tries to be the perfect granddaughter, to do all the things her grandparents want her to do. She doesn't want to take a bunch of AP classes, nor does she want to join mock trial, but she does. Since she didn't know her grandparents that well, having seen them once or twice a year for most of her life, she feels like such a burden, and she doesn't want to end up homeless.
Another issue for her is her increasing confidence that she is, in fact, bisexual, an awareness caused by her ever-increasing crush on Lily, queen of the cool nerd group. Sasha's been trying to resist her feelings for girls because she likes boys too, and she can like boys safely, whereas liking girls will attract attention, something she's trying to avoid at all times. It doesn't help that her grandparents are Trump voters and Fox News watchers, so she has good reason to believe they would not accept her if she dated a girl.
Aside from one aspect, I really liked the romance between Sasha and Lily. They're cute and bantery and just adorable crushy feelings. Also who wouldn't crush hard on Lily who is cute and stylish and a total badass? However, I did have mixed feelings about the way that Lily ends up basically forcing Sasha to come out. While Lily has the right to not want to date secretly, it felt like she and the book are basically saying that it's wrong to live a lie and not come out and be proud. However, Sasha has GOOD reason to be concerned that her grandparents will throw her out; coming out is not a safe decision for everyone, and especially as a dependent that's a HUGE decision to make.
The plot with Cole is another place I have mixed feelings. On the one hand, I hate that she's still such a good friend of his at the end, because omg what he did was NOT okay (), but on the other hand it kinda works? Sasha's allowing Cole space to grow and be a better person, and, when it comes down to it, he didn't get what he wanted. Hopefully he does learn from this and stop being a dick to women.
If you plan to read this, I really recommend the audiobook. Jennifer Jill Araya does a fantastic job, and her narration added to the experience for me. You Don't Live Here is a fun, messy contemporary about how it's okay to take up space in the world and be your unique, authentic self.
The concept on this one is kinda weird. It's almost exactly like a shyer Rory Gilmore ends up going to live with Richard and Emily, who she doesn't know very well, after her mother dies in an earthquake. The personalities completely mesh with the Gilmores, except, perhaps, for Sasha's. It's hard for me to imagine Gilmore Girls wasn't an inspiration, and it's shocking that someone would kill off Lorelei in the very start or at all. BUT, if you can get past that, it's pretty cool.
Sasha's established from the first scene, where she's working in a museum and decides to just let a child keep stealing after he threatens to get her fired, as someone who doesn't know how to stand up for herself. Partially, perhaps, she has been living in the shadow of her amazing mom, but mostly she's folded into herself because of bullying. Her former best friend turned on her, accused her of being a lesbian, broke up with Sasha's first boyfriend for her, and spread an endless succession of rumors.
Going to live with her grandparents, Sasha's at first awash in grief and doesn't have the energy to question much. When the new school year arrives, she's forced out of the house to try to make new friends with the kids of the country club set. This goes surprisingly well, and Sasha's hopeful life will be different now, but she's still terrified all the time that they will realize how uncool she is and dump her, so she rarely speaks up about anything. Though I didn't react to it the same way as Sasha, I can speak to the way friendlessness as you come of age affects your mental health, and I totally believe the way Sasha reacted, by just trying to be invisible and make herself the smallest target. (I reacted with sarcasm and bitchiness; it didn't help, but hey everyone has their own defense mechanisms.)
Sasha tries to be the perfect granddaughter, to do all the things her grandparents want her to do. She doesn't want to take a bunch of AP classes, nor does she want to join mock trial, but she does. Since she didn't know her grandparents that well, having seen them once or twice a year for most of her life, she feels like such a burden, and she doesn't want to end up homeless.
Another issue for her is her increasing confidence that she is, in fact, bisexual, an awareness caused by her ever-increasing crush on Lily, queen of the cool nerd group. Sasha's been trying to resist her feelings for girls because she likes boys too, and she can like boys safely, whereas liking girls will attract attention, something she's trying to avoid at all times. It doesn't help that her grandparents are Trump voters and Fox News watchers, so she has good reason to believe they would not accept her if she dated a girl.
Aside from one aspect, I really liked the romance between Sasha and Lily. They're cute and bantery and just adorable crushy feelings. Also who wouldn't crush hard on Lily who is cute and stylish and a total badass? However, I did have mixed feelings about the way that Lily ends up basically forcing Sasha to come out. While Lily has the right to not want to date secretly, it felt like she and the book are basically saying that it's wrong to live a lie and not come out and be proud. However, Sasha has GOOD reason to be concerned that her grandparents will throw her out; coming out is not a safe decision for everyone, and especially as a dependent that's a HUGE decision to make.
The plot with Cole is another place I have mixed feelings. On the one hand, I hate that she's still such a good friend of his at the end, because omg what he did was NOT okay (), but on the other hand it kinda works? Sasha's allowing Cole space to grow and be a better person, and, when it comes down to it, he didn't get what he wanted. Hopefully he does learn from this and stop being a dick to women.
If you plan to read this, I really recommend the audiobook. Jennifer Jill Araya does a fantastic job, and her narration added to the experience for me. You Don't Live Here is a fun, messy contemporary about how it's okay to take up space in the world and be your unique, authentic self.
August 14, 2022
3.5 ✩
i really enjoyed this! so many parts were so relatable that my teen-self (and even present-day-self) felt seen and understood, which, to me, is an important part of YA lit. this story was heartwarming, while also heartbreaking, and that duality was compelling and kept me going. the gilmore girls AU vibes were real; dahlia adler is right.
unfortunately, i had gripes that i could not overlook which brought this down to a 3.5 rating:
-photography: we all know this is a struggle for me.
-HP references: i feel like this is self-explanatory, but HP references in a queer text have aged extremely poorly.
-tr*mp: again, self-explanatory-- we don't need you to name-drop to know who you're talking about.
-unresolved fatphobia: this had purpose in terms of characterization, but i wish it was resolved better, especially for young readers struggling with body image.
-an out person pressuring a closeted person to out themselves: this could have been done so much better if the communication was more open, but the way this read was as if there was shame in the partner instead of fear of coming out in an unsafe home environment.
this book was definitely not bad; i actually really loved it. sasha was a great lead, and i love robyn schneider's writing, but the aforementioned gripes really hit hard. still love u robyn<3
i really enjoyed this! so many parts were so relatable that my teen-self (and even present-day-self) felt seen and understood, which, to me, is an important part of YA lit. this story was heartwarming, while also heartbreaking, and that duality was compelling and kept me going. the gilmore girls AU vibes were real; dahlia adler is right.
unfortunately, i had gripes that i could not overlook which brought this down to a 3.5 rating:
-photography: we all know this is a struggle for me.
-HP references: i feel like this is self-explanatory, but HP references in a queer text have aged extremely poorly.
-tr*mp: again, self-explanatory-- we don't need you to name-drop to know who you're talking about.
-unresolved fatphobia: this had purpose in terms of characterization, but i wish it was resolved better, especially for young readers struggling with body image.
-an out person pressuring a closeted person to out themselves: this could have been done so much better if the communication was more open, but the way this read was as if there was shame in the partner instead of fear of coming out in an unsafe home environment.
this book was definitely not bad; i actually really loved it. sasha was a great lead, and i love robyn schneider's writing, but the aforementioned gripes really hit hard. still love u robyn<3
November 8, 2020
This one made it clear to me I've really outgrown YA Contemporary. I'd always think, 16-year-olds aren't like that in real life, are they? And my teenage years aren't even that long ago...
I'm glad for the representation but it kinda hurts to see a pattern in the very few stories made for us. She's bi and she's with a guy, she must be cheating! I hated that. Why was Lily so mad? I truly felt for Sasha. But coming out isn't that easy for everyone.
The straight white boy redemption arc was also unnecessary to me. I couldn't care less about him from the start.
I'm glad for the representation but it kinda hurts to see a pattern in the very few stories made for us. She's bi and she's with a guy, she must be cheating! I hated that. Why was Lily so mad? I truly felt for Sasha. But coming out isn't that easy for everyone.
The straight white boy redemption arc was also unnecessary to me. I couldn't care less about him from the start.
October 20, 2020
This book is honestly one of the most underrated books I’ve ever seen. As someone who was just like the main character with exploring her sexuality, this book honestly really spoke out to me and it makes me proud that I’m true and proud of being bisexual. 💖💜💙
March 13, 2023
I had a good feeling about this author despite disliking her most popular novel, and I’m so glad I tried this one. A lovely, relatable, real coming-of-age story dealing with grief, sexual assault, and bisexuality. Although I have not experienced some of the things covered in the book, it all felt very genuine, especially the things I could relate to (like having to come out to older people and being “straight-passing”). I unfortunately didn’t feel very connected to Lily, the love interest, and don’t love that Whitney and Friya don’t get any of the redemption that Cole does, but overall this was an amazing story that will hopefully make many LGBT teen girls feel seen. Definitely recommend You Don’t Live Here.
May 31, 2020
This just may be the ultimate queer female romance. I sincerely loved each character and thought they were so thoughtfully executed. While I loved these characters and their insightful conversations and witty banter and thought the growth of Sasha was exceptional, the parts that resonated with me the most were the conversations *about* the adult characters. It was important for me to read that teens expect adults to have it together a bit more than we do. That it’s doubly confusing for teens when the adults in their lives don’t support trans rights or vote for a reality tv star. I was reminded yet again that teens deserve much more than we give them credit for.
September 5, 2020
This was a wonderful and quick read. I became quickly attached to all of the characters; Sasha, Lily, and even Cole. The dynamic between Sasha and her grandparents gave off heavy Gilmore Girl vibes and I was definitely there for it. I wish we could have had more insight into Sasha and her mother's life before the earthquake happened, but the character development afterwards is phenomenal. I love this story and the easy readability of it and would recommend it for a nice poolside read or something to take on a quick vacation.
February 2, 2022
the predictable happy ending we all deserve
June 30, 2020
You can check out this review and my other reviews at Writing the Universe
Title: You Don’t Live Here
Author: Robyn Schneider
Pub. Date: June 2, 2020
Rating: 3.75
This will be a spoiler free review.
I’m going to start by saying that I loved this book. I read it in one sitting, went through a range of emotions. I was reminded why I love Robyn’s books and how amazing she is at crafting a story.
With that being said, I struggled to figure out what to rate this book, hence the 3.75 rating. I usually don’t break my ratings into quarters, because it can get way too convoluted, but I felt like 4 was too high, but 3.5 wasn’t high enough.
Like I said, I struggled.
I’m super glad that I got to read Robyn’s next release early, and I’m glad that I get to write this post telling you what I loved about it. I’m so glad that I get to help raise the hype for this book and her other books. Not enough people – in my opinion – read them, and you really should. Robyn is incredible at writing books that connect to you – the reader. Even if you don’t share the same experiences, she crafts these characters and books in such a way that you will connect, you will feel emotions and you will pull something from the book. On some level you will connect, and I think that I absolutely amazing and such a skill at this craft.
I’ve shared none of the main experiences any of her characters in any of her books, yet somehow, every time I read one of her YA contemporaries, I feel seen. It’s almost like she’s looked inside my head and put a voice to something that I’ve felt or am feeling. Whether they’re big things or just little things, I find them on the page, in the book, the characters going through them.
Her characters feel so normal and real and like someone you’d know in your own life. They’re so ordinary and human (and I mean that in legit the best way possible) that it’s hard to not see yourself, or aspects of yourself in them.
You Don’t Live Here is an Ownvoice, queer, coming of age love story about figuring out who you are, how to navigate the world after loss and learning to accept yourself for who you are, and stand up for yourself. No matter what part of that, that you connect with, you’ll connect to something, because everyone is dealing or struggling with something. Robyn does an absolutely incredible job at telling this story, and I’ll definitely be recommending it to everyone – I already am. If this book isn’t on your radar, TBRs, in your Amazon cart, it should be. You should also check out her other YA contemporaries – The Beginning of Everything, Extraordinary Means, and Invisible Ghosts – you don’t want to miss those either.
I thought that You Don’t Live Here was going to become my new favorite Robyn Schneider book, simply because that’s been the pattern. Each new book becomes my new favorite. Surprisingly, that didn’t happen, and Invisible Ghosts is still my favorite. I just thoroughly love that book, and I’ve read it a bunch of times. I know I’ll be rereading this newest one, multiple times, because I loved the story, the message, the characters…all of it.
But I think what kind of stops me from declaring my undying love for this book is the political commentary. I know I’ve talked about my dislike for political commentary in books on this blog before, but I really don’t like it when I read. I read as an escape, and I can’t do that when modern politics are shoved at me. This is just my preference, the same way I don’t like pregnancies in YA books – yes it happens, and yes both of these things are true to real life, I just don’t care for them in my books.
Now, with that being said, the political commentary didn’t break this book for me. It just made me roll my eyes and groan a few times, but I’m sure there are other readers who don’t like, or don’t care for it either.
Other than the person preference of political commentary, I found this book to be amazing and I wish I could wipe it from my mind to read it all over again. For a long time, one of my favorite literary quotes has come out of another novel, but there was a line at the end of this book that I just absolutely loved – so much so, I almost want to go get a tattoo of it.
“The world shoves into you, but you stand tall anyway.”
If you want to talk about a line that summarizes the feeling, I got from reading this book, it’s this one. The last two pages of this book were probably some of my most favorite out of the whole book. I won’t be forgetting this book and its message anytime soon, and I really hope you all fall for this book as hard as I did. This book is going to be so important to so many people who are trying to find their way in the world. Whether you have the same struggles as Sasha, or something else entirely, the way Robyn tells this story, it hits home.
You Don’t Live Here comes out June 2, so make sure you preorder, and if you haven’t already, make sure you check out Robyn’s other books and fall in love with them as well!
Oh, and as a final comment, hey, Netflix, pick up Robyn’s books and adapt them please! They’d all make fantastic movies, and it’s about time for a YA book-to-movie takeover again!
Title: You Don’t Live Here
Author: Robyn Schneider
Pub. Date: June 2, 2020
Rating: 3.75
This will be a spoiler free review.
I’m going to start by saying that I loved this book. I read it in one sitting, went through a range of emotions. I was reminded why I love Robyn’s books and how amazing she is at crafting a story.
With that being said, I struggled to figure out what to rate this book, hence the 3.75 rating. I usually don’t break my ratings into quarters, because it can get way too convoluted, but I felt like 4 was too high, but 3.5 wasn’t high enough.
Like I said, I struggled.
I’m super glad that I got to read Robyn’s next release early, and I’m glad that I get to write this post telling you what I loved about it. I’m so glad that I get to help raise the hype for this book and her other books. Not enough people – in my opinion – read them, and you really should. Robyn is incredible at writing books that connect to you – the reader. Even if you don’t share the same experiences, she crafts these characters and books in such a way that you will connect, you will feel emotions and you will pull something from the book. On some level you will connect, and I think that I absolutely amazing and such a skill at this craft.
I’ve shared none of the main experiences any of her characters in any of her books, yet somehow, every time I read one of her YA contemporaries, I feel seen. It’s almost like she’s looked inside my head and put a voice to something that I’ve felt or am feeling. Whether they’re big things or just little things, I find them on the page, in the book, the characters going through them.
Her characters feel so normal and real and like someone you’d know in your own life. They’re so ordinary and human (and I mean that in legit the best way possible) that it’s hard to not see yourself, or aspects of yourself in them.
You Don’t Live Here is an Ownvoice, queer, coming of age love story about figuring out who you are, how to navigate the world after loss and learning to accept yourself for who you are, and stand up for yourself. No matter what part of that, that you connect with, you’ll connect to something, because everyone is dealing or struggling with something. Robyn does an absolutely incredible job at telling this story, and I’ll definitely be recommending it to everyone – I already am. If this book isn’t on your radar, TBRs, in your Amazon cart, it should be. You should also check out her other YA contemporaries – The Beginning of Everything, Extraordinary Means, and Invisible Ghosts – you don’t want to miss those either.
I thought that You Don’t Live Here was going to become my new favorite Robyn Schneider book, simply because that’s been the pattern. Each new book becomes my new favorite. Surprisingly, that didn’t happen, and Invisible Ghosts is still my favorite. I just thoroughly love that book, and I’ve read it a bunch of times. I know I’ll be rereading this newest one, multiple times, because I loved the story, the message, the characters…all of it.
But I think what kind of stops me from declaring my undying love for this book is the political commentary. I know I’ve talked about my dislike for political commentary in books on this blog before, but I really don’t like it when I read. I read as an escape, and I can’t do that when modern politics are shoved at me. This is just my preference, the same way I don’t like pregnancies in YA books – yes it happens, and yes both of these things are true to real life, I just don’t care for them in my books.
Now, with that being said, the political commentary didn’t break this book for me. It just made me roll my eyes and groan a few times, but I’m sure there are other readers who don’t like, or don’t care for it either.
Other than the person preference of political commentary, I found this book to be amazing and I wish I could wipe it from my mind to read it all over again. For a long time, one of my favorite literary quotes has come out of another novel, but there was a line at the end of this book that I just absolutely loved – so much so, I almost want to go get a tattoo of it.
“The world shoves into you, but you stand tall anyway.”
If you want to talk about a line that summarizes the feeling, I got from reading this book, it’s this one. The last two pages of this book were probably some of my most favorite out of the whole book. I won’t be forgetting this book and its message anytime soon, and I really hope you all fall for this book as hard as I did. This book is going to be so important to so many people who are trying to find their way in the world. Whether you have the same struggles as Sasha, or something else entirely, the way Robyn tells this story, it hits home.
You Don’t Live Here comes out June 2, so make sure you preorder, and if you haven’t already, make sure you check out Robyn’s other books and fall in love with them as well!
Oh, and as a final comment, hey, Netflix, pick up Robyn’s books and adapt them please! They’d all make fantastic movies, and it’s about time for a YA book-to-movie takeover again!
June 8, 2020
Oq dizer desse livro ????? Eu amo histórias que eu consigo me identificar, e recentemente eu to tendo uma hard time finding them. Eu acho que se entender e assumir pra si mesma Oq vc é, é a parte mais difícil.Você passa a sua vida inteira acreditando que as coisas vão ser de um jeito pra vc, que você gosta de uma só coisa e do nada você entende que esteve ignorando sentimentos por muito tempo. Vai ser difícil come out pros meus pais, queria ter coragem que nem a Sasha, mas não tenho. Quem sabe algum dia eu finamente conte, mas agora não dá. Não, não é só uma fase.
Por mais representatividade.
“Lily was beautiful. Was it queer of me to notice, or just normal? Or was the queer part that I kept noticing all the dozens of tiny ways she was beautiful? That I never stopped noticing, because as long as she was around, I couldn’t look away? I could close my eyes and picture her, the smooth, soft expanse of skin, the shape of her eyes, the unevenness of her front teeth when she smiled. The beauty mark above her mouth, the way her hair came to a point at the nape of her neck. The soft mauve of her lips. The woodsy silage of her perfume.
I’d never known I could like a girl like this. It was how I liked boys, but it was also completely different. I liked the way boys’ arms felt around me, and how confident they were, how loud and boisterous. How being around them could make me feel like such a girl, instead of such a misfit.
It would be so much easier if you just got a letter, like in Harry Potter. You’re a wizard, Harry. You’re bisexual, Sasha.”
Por mais representatividade.
“Lily was beautiful. Was it queer of me to notice, or just normal? Or was the queer part that I kept noticing all the dozens of tiny ways she was beautiful? That I never stopped noticing, because as long as she was around, I couldn’t look away? I could close my eyes and picture her, the smooth, soft expanse of skin, the shape of her eyes, the unevenness of her front teeth when she smiled. The beauty mark above her mouth, the way her hair came to a point at the nape of her neck. The soft mauve of her lips. The woodsy silage of her perfume.
I’d never known I could like a girl like this. It was how I liked boys, but it was also completely different. I liked the way boys’ arms felt around me, and how confident they were, how loud and boisterous. How being around them could make me feel like such a girl, instead of such a misfit.
It would be so much easier if you just got a letter, like in Harry Potter. You’re a wizard, Harry. You’re bisexual, Sasha.”
October 13, 2022
3.5
i literally had 0 idea what i was getting into LMAO but i was pleasantly surprised! this was published in 2020 and it mentions real life events that have happened irl, such as BLM, trump, etc! the book can be seen as political as they do mention the topics i’ve listed and for someone who wants to enjoy a cute fluffy read with no mention of politics or the real world, this isn’t for you.
this book was so cute and witty! i had no idea this was about a girl who is finding herself once her mom died during an earthquake. we also go through her journey of coming to terms with her being bi and having to tell her family and friends. she fears telling her family bc of the things they have said in passing (they were lowk racist lmao) and she doesn’t agree with them so she thought she would be disowned. THEN she feared telling her friends bc of how much she was bullied for being a lesbian at her old hs by her “friends” (when she wasn’t even out then 🙄) AND THERE WAS A SLIGHT LOVE TRIANGLE and i was like how did i end up here, but it all worked out in the end :)
i literally had 0 idea what i was getting into LMAO but i was pleasantly surprised! this was published in 2020 and it mentions real life events that have happened irl, such as BLM, trump, etc! the book can be seen as political as they do mention the topics i’ve listed and for someone who wants to enjoy a cute fluffy read with no mention of politics or the real world, this isn’t for you.
this book was so cute and witty! i had no idea this was about a girl who is finding herself once her mom died during an earthquake. we also go through her journey of coming to terms with her being bi and having to tell her family and friends. she fears telling her family bc of the things they have said in passing (they were lowk racist lmao) and she doesn’t agree with them so she thought she would be disowned. THEN she feared telling her friends bc of how much she was bullied for being a lesbian at her old hs by her “friends” (when she wasn’t even out then 🙄) AND THERE WAS A SLIGHT LOVE TRIANGLE and i was like how did i end up here, but it all worked out in the end :)
January 1, 2023
Book Review
(Possible spoilers)
You don't live here.
Rated 3.5 out of 5
_____________________________
I have a love and hate relationship with this book. I love the character because she was very self-aware and was fast to point out his mistakes and problems, but I hate that even though she was mostly self-aware, she did not do anything about it and was content to let things be even though it also badly affected her, which makes me sad for her. The very start of the book already gave me a big heartache because this coming-of-age coming-out story is such a heartbreaking and beautiful one that most of the time the mothers of the characters are always present to support them. But she does not have her mother; instead, she has her estranged grandparents, who are probably making her life more miserable. But I love how, in the end, they try to support and understand her. That's why I have given this book this rating, because I love it but I hate almost half of it as well. But I did enjoy it.
(Possible spoilers)
You don't live here.
Rated 3.5 out of 5
_____________________________
I have a love and hate relationship with this book. I love the character because she was very self-aware and was fast to point out his mistakes and problems, but I hate that even though she was mostly self-aware, she did not do anything about it and was content to let things be even though it also badly affected her, which makes me sad for her. The very start of the book already gave me a big heartache because this coming-of-age coming-out story is such a heartbreaking and beautiful one that most of the time the mothers of the characters are always present to support them. But she does not have her mother; instead, she has her estranged grandparents, who are probably making her life more miserable. But I love how, in the end, they try to support and understand her. That's why I have given this book this rating, because I love it but I hate almost half of it as well. But I did enjoy it.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Want to read
January 20, 2020YES!!! CHEESIER!!! GAYER!!!
March 16, 2021
3.5
a solid coming of age, queer story.
a solid coming of age, queer story.
February 3, 2022
This is not "great literature," but it definitely gives you an opening to talk about just about every issue under the sun if your looking for that kind of opening with your teenager.
Content warning: nothing super graphic, but there are a scenes in which topless photos are taken, an erection and pubic hair is discussed, abuse is alluded to and eventually discussed, and sexuality is a huge focus throughout as main character processes being bisexual
Content warning: nothing super graphic, but there are a scenes in which topless photos are taken, an erection and pubic hair is discussed, abuse is alluded to and eventually discussed, and sexuality is a huge focus throughout as main character processes being bisexual
Read
December 31, 2022Protagonist was kinda annoying and often the book was too buuuuut the lacma exhibit they go to is one I went to in hs and loved so for that it was worth it
August 25, 2023
3.5!!! it was really cute and i love that it gave me gilmore girl vibes
September 7, 2023
First read this in Grade 7 and LOVED IT. I wonder why.
February 7, 2021
Not bad, but it just felt rather forced at some points in the book to the point where I was almost skimming the page. Schneider’s other books dig deeper.
Want to read
April 13, 2020Super excited to read Robyn’s new book! 💜
September 19, 2021
It's late, and I have work tomorrow, and I should really go to sleep soon, but I have to put all of my thoughts about this wonderful book into words as soon as possible.
I already knew going into this book that I would see myself reflected a lot in it. Our protagonist, Sasha, is a bisexual high school student living in Orange County, California. Five years ago, so was I. (Side note: I no longer identify as bisexual, and would therefore not consider myself a strictly #ownvoices reviewer for this book.) But I wasn't prepared for the ways in which this book would just see right through me. It felt as though the writing was connected to somewhere deep in my soul, and that the whole narrative was a part of me. It told me things I needed to hear, whether I really wanted to or not. And I love it for that.
I don't think I'll ever be able to put together a full list of all the things I love about this book, but I'm going to try.
I love the ways in which this book allows for gray areas and complicated character development. None of the major characters are perfect by a long shot. But they all get their own stories, and their own character arcs. I almost don't want to call them arcs, because I feel like that implies that they're each tied up nicely and completely by the end, which really isn't the case. But they grow, and they develop, and it's clear that they will continue to do so even after the events of the book. (It's occurring to me as I read that back that I've written it as if they have lives after the book. The whole thing feels so real that it seems only natural that they must.)
I love how this book handles apologies. Half-baked apologies aren't seen as good enough, and don't have to be accepted. Sincere apologies are important and valued, but they don't magically fix everything, and they don't erase the harm that a person did. But going back to my last point, characters are allowed to grow. They become better. They don't get it all right on the first or second or even fourteenth try. But they keep trying. And those who don't aren't given those additional tries.
I love the way this book talks about making your life your own, and making choices that make you happy, and living for yourself instead of for other people's convenience. I'm the kind of person who needs to be reminded about these kinds of things, and I can tell that I'm going to be revisiting this book in search of this wisdom many times to come.
This book isn't for everyone. But it's for me, and I'll be forever grateful that I found it.
CW: parental death, nude photos taken without consent, off-page physical abuse by a family member, mentions of sexual assault, homophobia, brief suicidal thoughts, fatphobia
I already knew going into this book that I would see myself reflected a lot in it. Our protagonist, Sasha, is a bisexual high school student living in Orange County, California. Five years ago, so was I. (Side note: I no longer identify as bisexual, and would therefore not consider myself a strictly #ownvoices reviewer for this book.) But I wasn't prepared for the ways in which this book would just see right through me. It felt as though the writing was connected to somewhere deep in my soul, and that the whole narrative was a part of me. It told me things I needed to hear, whether I really wanted to or not. And I love it for that.
I don't think I'll ever be able to put together a full list of all the things I love about this book, but I'm going to try.
I love the ways in which this book allows for gray areas and complicated character development. None of the major characters are perfect by a long shot. But they all get their own stories, and their own character arcs. I almost don't want to call them arcs, because I feel like that implies that they're each tied up nicely and completely by the end, which really isn't the case. But they grow, and they develop, and it's clear that they will continue to do so even after the events of the book. (It's occurring to me as I read that back that I've written it as if they have lives after the book. The whole thing feels so real that it seems only natural that they must.)
I love how this book handles apologies. Half-baked apologies aren't seen as good enough, and don't have to be accepted. Sincere apologies are important and valued, but they don't magically fix everything, and they don't erase the harm that a person did. But going back to my last point, characters are allowed to grow. They become better. They don't get it all right on the first or second or even fourteenth try. But they keep trying. And those who don't aren't given those additional tries.
I love the way this book talks about making your life your own, and making choices that make you happy, and living for yourself instead of for other people's convenience. I'm the kind of person who needs to be reminded about these kinds of things, and I can tell that I'm going to be revisiting this book in search of this wisdom many times to come.
Because the truth is always hard. Because being queer is hard, and coming out is hard, and it never stops being hard. The world keeps shoving into you. But you stand tall anyway. You take up space anyway.
This book isn't for everyone. But it's for me, and I'll be forever grateful that I found it.
CW: parental death, nude photos taken without consent, off-page physical abuse by a family member, mentions of sexual assault, homophobia, brief suicidal thoughts, fatphobia
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