Tabula Rasa: Writing A New Story (grumpy sunshine, closed door romance)

by Ana Waters

Thirty-two-year-old Rebecca Ivy escapes a church where sin abounds even more than she realizes. Betrayed and broken, the ugliness of her past prevents her from recognizing the beauty in the mirror. She soon catches the watchful eye of her Jewish co-worker, Ted Margolin, who sees a woman worthy of his protection. As an unexpected romance blooms, Rebecca struggles to reconcile all she’s been taught with the golden sparkle in the mighty Margolin’s eyes. Old family secrets come to light, and Rebecca battles rumors and threats designed to keep her silent. Meanwhile, Ted must fight for Rebecca and against his own doubts about God. Rebecca's unwavering faith in Jesus confounds and intrigues Ted, but will it be enough to give them a tabula rasa (blank slate) to erase the past and create a new story of their own?

398 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 15, 2020

About the author

Ana Waters is a summa cum laude graduate of the University of Georgia with a B.A. in Religion and specific emphasis in Judaic and Biblical studies. She penned her first romance novel at the age of twelve, and she has never stopped writing the same books she loves to read. She lives outside of Atlanta, GA with her brood of precocious children, finding joy in the absurdities of life and motherhood. Sing-alongs *not* optional!

As an abuse survivor and advocate, many of Ana’s novels address topics like spiritual and emotional trauma from the perspective of healing. Too many victims have been marginalized and shamed into silence. Likewise, trauma is typically glossed over within the inspirational fiction/romance genre. Not anymore! The books provide a message of hope that abuse doesn’t get to ruin the rest of your life. Romance serves as part of the healing journey rather than a magic eraser.

There are seven completed novels in the Beauty for Ashes series, and the final installment is coming Fall 2026. She’s also proud to announce the debut of the first novel in the Writers Find Romance romantic comedy series. The books are wacky, silly, and 100% Ana! Look for Book 1 coming Spring 2026!

Follow Ana on social media or visit her website for more information about book sales and upcoming events!

IG@anawatersbooks
FB@anawatersauthor

Reviews

[Judith McNees · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this series out of order, so I was familiar with some of the backstory of the two main characters going in. Nothing could have prepared me for the depths of the horrors experienced by Rebecca at the hands of not one, but two pastors. I believe spiritual abuse is something the church has a duty and an obligation to shine a light on, and this book does exactly that. Exposes the sometimes dark side of what happens when those in church leadership become consumed with the pride and power that comes from leading a flock.

I also loved the relationship between Rebecca and Ted, which was respectful and had a lot of give and take. Believers aren't perfect, and neither are our marriages, but when we do have disagreements, we can do so in a godly way.

The story overall was so compelling, I found I couldn't put it down. The only reason I deducted a star was because of disagreements I had with two points doctrinally. Since I am not a scholar, I'm not going to speak to that much other than to say it was with regards to some of the character's views on tithing and knowingly marrying a non-believer. Perhaps these differences are error on my part, but it did cast some confusion as I read.

Overall, I recommend this to those who enjoy Christian women's fiction and contemporary romance.

The author graciously allowed me to read a free copy of this book, but it was not in exchange for a review, nor was I required to leave one.

[M. Mace · Rating 5 out of 5]

Powerful!

This is a clean romance, starring a strong heroine with a past that refuses to let her move on. It is not a light hearted or fluffy story. Betrayal, immorality, and pure evil hover around Rebecca as she tries to escape her vicious past and live a life of peace. While her religion gives her hope, it’s also at the center of each atrocity that threatens to tear her apart. The characters are well developed and I could physically feel the evil dripping off of one of them, with every word he spoke. In contrast to the dark and complex events in this story, the love between Rebecca and Ted is gentle and tender. A very powerful story!! Add this to your TBR!

[Charli West · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent writing

I knew before starting this story that it was going to handle some heavy subjects. OMGoodness! Did it ever! Waters didn’t hesitate a bit when she addressed issues of church hypocrisy and abuse! But, I had thought it would focus more on the romance between Rebecca and Ted and how they resolved issues between them to have their HEA. That part was there. And I enjoyed it. Waters is an excellent writer and her characters are richly portrayed. You run the gambit of emotions…anger, pity, disgust, joy, etc.. Even though I feel it dragged a bit through some parts and the religious aspect was a little heavy for me, I also knew that there was something else to the story, something that hadn’t been told. There was another piece to the puzzle. Because of that I had to keep turning the pages to know how it all ended.

[Astrid Aurelius · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is my 4 star review of Tabula Rasa.

I liked this book and it was different from anything I've read in a while. It was a window into a world that is so very different from my own faith life. It was also hard to read sometimes, highlighting how brainwashed people can become when they put all their trust in someone with zero accountability to anyone else.

It really was by the grace of God that Rebecca's life didn't completely unravel as the result of the horrid treatment she received. The abuses, the scandals, all the horrible ways she was betrayed by just about everyone along the way...it's a wonder she didn't give up. But she had what those others didn't: genuine faith. I also appreciated that she never shied away from Ted's tough questions, such as "Why does God *allow* us to suffer?" It's a mystery, but all we have to do is look at the Cross and see Him suffering alongside us in perfect love.

Ted's grumpiness was endearing and I enjoyed the romance between him and Rebecca, despite how rushed it was. And of course seeing Rebecca finally being accepted into a healthier family dynamic was satisfying, as well as her enthusiastically embracing her Jewish roots.

A few spoilers ahead:

I deducted a star because I felt like the explanation behind what turned Pastor Bernard Ivy into a sadistic, evil man was started, but never finished (i.e. it was revealed that his real name was Bernard Levy, he was Jewish and his parents loved him very much, he later changed his name and eventually founded First United, but it wasn't clear about what happened to his parents, why he was so determined to shed his Jewish identity, or what ultimately made him so malicious towards other Jews. It's possible I missed something). Also, I found myself getting a bit twisted and confused by Bud's explanation of how Bernard Ivy was connected to Pastor Sociopath. I might just have to re-read it a few times, because I wasn't really seeing it and it seemed like a stretch. Regardless, that portion of the story still highlighted something that is sadly a reality for some people...people who are trapped in that life because they don't know any better or how to get out of it. Or worse...people who enjoy making others suffer. Terrible.

Bottom line, I found the writing engaging and hard to put down. Well done Ana!

[Nikki Lamers · Rating 5 out of 5]

An unexpected story of faith, love, loss, manipulation, deception and abuse. Forgiveness and survival.
The author takes on questions about religion, church, and pastors in today’s society, both the good and the completely evil incarnate. I found myself both disturbed and haunted with what Rebecca went through with her family and both churches in her past and amazed at her strength and faith as she fought to stay true to herself. I loved watching her relationship develop with Ted, showing such a different side of her. The author even takes on the Government, and the media and how people use and manipulate it for their own selfish wants. This is a clean romance showing Rebecca’s relationships with God, church, family, friends, coworkers and love interests and the impact each has had on her life and continues to do so, Her growth and change admirable.

[Nicole Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book in one day, it’s just that good! It feels like you are reading a biography, it is honest, without being graphic, with bits of humor throughout, without being cheesy. As a PK it saddens me to see so much truth reflected on these pages but it is a part of reality across so many different faiths. The ease with which leaders can abuse the power placed in their hands and the victims forced to be remain silent out of fear and shame.
They are not a reflection of Gods true love for us and I am So glad the author is able to portray not just the sin and it’s repercussions, but the redemption and healing available to any who will truly seek Him.
If you like Christian fiction, you will enjoy this book.

[Tiffany Andrea · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. It's one I will definitely read again.

[Sara Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful story of love, redemption and faith

If anyone has experienced toxic or abusive relationships and if you've struggled with the resulting self-worth issues, this story is for you.
For those that need encouragement for fighting a spiritual battle, this story is for you.
Don't we all need reminders that despite your past, all the junk you've been through, there's a clean slate ready for you?

[Kim Nunemaker · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a powerful story! I couldn't put this book down! The way the main character walks through/deals with her toxic relationships is inspiring and empowering. This book deal with very real social issues but avoids salacious detail. I can't recommend this book highly enough. I'm eagerly awaiting book 2!!

[Havelah McLat · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is not a quick read. You are going to experience heartbreaks, wounds, and pain of these characters and what they went through. But also a story of healing, redemption, hope, love, and faith. God will use this mess and turns into something much greater. I am glad they got their happy ending.

The book contains some trigger warnings. Cult issues, broken families, and some minor cuss language.

[Rebecca Lange · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful story with a great message!

I was asked to read this book in advance and give my honest opinion and feedback. I loved it. I actually enjoyed it so much, that I read it twice in a row. You can’t help but fall in love with the main characters. It has a bit of everything, including romance that gets your heart rate going, but is clean at the same time and doesn’t go into inappropriate territory. Tabula Rasa also has an important message about emotional and physical abuse and how important it is to stand up against bullies but also step in and protect those who can’t stand up for themselves. It is a wonderful book and definitely deserves every single star.

[Amorina Carlton · Rating 5 out of 5]

First appeared at http://amorinacarlton.com/tabula-rasa...

Not going to hide it because there are some *minor* spoilers. But read at your own risk. They are midway down, and pretty minor.

Sometimes the promotional materials for a book prepare you for the pages inside the cover. Other times, you’re left blindsided when the “Jewish” heroine is the most fervent believer in Jesus you’ve ever seen outside of the Bible.

Rebecca is a young woman who has been unlucky in all of her personal relationships. She has recently left the haven of the church she found solace in after leaving her family’s church. The story slowly reveals that abuses of power and other abuses were rampant in both congregations. She throws herself into her work, helped by the “Mighty Margolin” a looming figure who piles more and more paperwork on her desk. A love triangle she can’t see for herself quickly blossoms, coming to a violent head when her father threatens her in front of Margolin, serving as the catalyst for a whirlwind romance and reckoning of Rebecca’s past.

In “Tabula Rasa: Writing a New Story,” Ana Waters has not penned a story for the light-hearted. It is a beautiful, clean romance that doesn’t shy away from the dark abuse hidden behind pulpits across the country. Rebecca’s faith in God is like that rarely portrayed in literature or media. She can hear God’s voice clearly, like a prophet. Non-believers, and even some believers, might find this hard to swallow. I’ll admit, I sometimes felt this portrayal of God a little too supernatural. Yes, I understand He is supernatural, it just isn’t what I’m used to seeing. I come from Baptist and Pentecostal traditions, which have their own quirks, but not this. A story line featuring a “Leviathan” demon also seemed more appropriate for the pages of a fantasy novel than the inspirational story of Rebecca taking back her life.

While not uncommon in the genre, the whirlwind romance almost caused whiplash. Rebecca admits they are unevenly yolked. Even so, she says God wants them married. Having grown up in the church, it was all a little too neat and perfect. Luckily, the author had friends and family question them, which added authenticity to the fact that they were moving quickly. A brief argument before the wedding helped highlight this as well.

Waters built fantastic characters. Rebecca, though extremely religious, wasn’t perfect. She had faults, including the hatred she held in her heart toward all those who wronged her. And Margolin, though a “heathen” at first, wasn’t a monster. Waters built amazing villains. All were people you wouldn’t want to run into at a party, or the grocery store. Reading this will undoubtedly make sitting in a sanctuary a little awkward for a while. Though, the world was a little heavy on villains. It seemed a little hard to believe that four different religious leaders in this one town were so corrupt. But I suppose there was some overlap, making it somewhat more believable.

I thoroughly enjoyed the incorporation of the Jewish traditions into the story. Waters heavily marketed the book as having a Jewish main character, and it was a little confusing because it doesn’t come up until pretty far into the story. But I really enjoyed what Waters did with it. I admit to not knowing much about Judaism, but the little I know seemed well represented in this book.

I would have given four stars because I was a little thrown off by the handling of religion and praying; and the pace of the relationship was just a little too fast. But overall, the storytelling was strong, the characters were enjoyable to spend time with, and I enjoyed the story of this incredibly powerful woman who overcame a horrific past to embrace her future. All of this earns back the nearly lost star, and I look forward to reading the next one.

In some ways, the story felt a little like a Biblical, modern day retelling of Pride and Prejudice. Though they were both a little prideful, and both had some prejudices. This story is for you if you’re interested in stories about strong women who overcome difficult situations, clean romance stories, exploration of Christianity and Judaism, and stories of justice.

Content Warning: Abuse of all kinds, including child abuse; Violence; Cursing; Religious Messaging (Christian and Judaism)

Side note: my personal faith journey took me through nearly being agnostic. But having grown up nearly as Christian as the main character of this book, I could never fully accept being agnostic. Agnostic with Christian leanings is as far as I went. Anyway, I found my way back, though I now practice my beliefs in a milder church that is kinder and welcoming to all – the way I interpret God and Jesus would actually want us to be. This is mostly to point out that these biases could affect my interpretation of the book. We all bring our own experiences to each book we read. So wherever you fall on the religious spectrum could affect your interpretation and potential enjoyment of this book. It falls heavily into the inspirational category, and doesn’t shy away from the discussion of religion.

[Julia Blake · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was not my first Christian read, but it is the first where the religious aspect of the story was applied quite so vigorously. The main character, Rebecca, believes utterly and totally in the existence of Jesus and that he guides her movements. This sometimes led her to make decisions that had me raising my brows. It was an interesting read. The plot involves points that are familiar to many women across the world, regardless of religion, and the author pulls no punches in examining the scenarios of gaslighting, male manipulation of women, grooming, sexual predators of the young and vulnerable, and the sheer hypocrisy that sadly many so-called devout leaders exhibit.

The reader is taken on a journey of self-discovery with Rebecca, as she struggles to come to terms with her past and her turbulent relationship with her toxic family and friends. Fighting to shake off her feelings of low esteem and accepting that the wrongs inflicted on her were not of her making and were certainly not her fault, Rebecca’s heart and soul are cleansed and laid bare to receive the love and commitment offered by her employer Ted.

However, the hastiness of the couple’s relationship and the disparity in their beliefs leave Rebecca doubting her actions and sometimes regretting her hasty fall into Ted’s arms. This is something that they have to work out between themselves against a backdrop of scandal and insidious accusations as the truth slowly emerges about Rebecca’s family and the church she once trusted implicitly.

As I said, for someone who is not a militant Christian this was an interesting read and it was fascinating learning about the lives of people who exist in what many would consider a cult environment. The level of involvement and downright meddling the church expects to have in the lives of their congregation made me distinctly uneasy at times.

A thoughtful and intriguing story of lies and duplicity existing in the modern American church.

[Stephanie Cotta · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ana Waters lured me to buy and read this book by sharing snippets of Tabula Rasa on Instagram. After loving the dialogue and tension in small increments, I knew I had to get this book, and wow, was I in for a great read! Rebecca Ivy is a woman in her thirties who has experienced an abusive past at the hands of those who are supposed to love and encourage her most: her family. Even though she is independent and works at a solid firm in the graphics department, so much of her self-worth and confidence has been shattered as a result of her father and mother’s brutal emotional, physical and spiritual abuse. Heartbroken and damaged from a relationship that was wrecked by her own church pastor, Rebecca is reluctant to believe the attention her boss Ted Margolin is showing her is genuine or even authentic. Both Rebecca and Ted have their own ghosts they must overcome, if a relationship is ever going to work between them.

One thing I love most about Rebecca is that she never gave up on her faith in God. Even when corruption and scandal occurs in her home church and within her own family, she never turns her back on God. That says a lot about her inner strength, and it was something I really identified with. In my own life, I experienced a horrific relationship with my ex-husband who behaved much like Bernard Ivy and Pastor, and eventually ended in a criminal situation not to far off from what occurs in this book. So many situations and flashbacks in this story hit home for me. I am pleased that Ana Waters didn’t shy away from the ugly nature that creeps into churches and families with narcissistic personalities. My hope is for other people (and women like me) to read this book and know there is hope after narcissistic abuse.

This book was an excellent, clean romance with a healing message of hope and redemption, and I can’t wait to read the next book in the series!

[Kimmey Fitts · Rating 5 out of 5]

A story of love and redemption!

Author Ana Waters has put together a book about a woman who was shattered from her pastor and church. She also was raised by and around toxic people, which may be why she was drawn to the pastor in the first place. There is a sweet love story that takes place. I loved the prayer, and how Rebecca hears from the Lord in scripture. That is a very personal thing for me as well. I do believe the scripture is the only way we hear from Him now, and it is sometimes through deep personal prayer. I did feel as though I was reading an autobiography. This seemed so real to me. I hope this book is shared with anyone who experiences any kind of trauma, shame, or is victimized in any way. It would be a wonderful source for them. I recommend this book to everyone. Bravo Ana Waters!

[Barbara Kellyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I admit, I had first read the author’s second book, Ex Nihilo, before picking up her debut. There are obvious similarities in both stories, with the main female characters dealing with oppressive situations and power struggles within the church and their own family. They both have narcissist figures casting long shadows in their lives and both eventually find themselves involved in a romantic entanglement (note: clean romance) that leads them to the redemptive power of love while embracing the faith that has sustained them.

That being said, Tabula Rosa is a well-written story that rings true, coming across with the authenticity of a semi-autobiographical tale. Kudos to Ana Waters for crafting such believable, imperfect characters and keeping the reader invested in their growth and transformation.

[Michele Kwasniewski · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tabula Rasa was my first time reading a Christian romance novel and it was a pleasant surprise. This clean-read book grapples with some heavy, shocking topics with grace, faith and at times well-placed, light-hearted humor. Ana Waters deftly pulls back the curtain on a world some readers may not have experienced and does a wonderful job illustrating how Rebecca’s faith is a beacon of light and courage at a time when her entire world is turned upside down. Waters’ passion for her story comes through in every line and readers can’t help but be swept away by Rebecca’s quest for truth, love and happiness she deserves. Looking forward to reading more in this series.

[Lanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I believe God is using this author to reach a
population that have been isolated, alone in their pain and fearing for their sanity due to gaslighting. If any of this sounds familiar, then do not wait to read this book. To those who have never experienced the terrors of narcissistic abuse this book may seem sensationalized, but those who have or are currently in this kind of relationship this book just may be the lifeline that they've been praying for.

[David Lastinger · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tabula Rasa is a fantastic story about love, romance, dysfunctional families, and a strong belief in faith. As an author, I try to read outside of my regular genre to not only see things from another perspective but to also marvel in the wonder of the stories that come out of other authors brains. This one will be a big page turner for you as there are twists on twists.

[Jennifer Marseille · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great story! I couldn’t put it down.