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Trials of Fear #2
Shades of Darkness
Why did his therapist have to be hot … and nerdy … and a virgin?
Rory lives in darkness, suffering the aftereffects of a horrible prank that ruined his life six years ago. He’s not convinced anyone can help with his life-crippling phobia. Until Adrian, a preppy young therapist from the counseling center shows up on his doorstep.
Rory’s brash, unapologetic personality should clash with Adrian’s skittishness. But instead of closing down, Rory finds himself opening up.
One problem. He’s falling for the guy who’s supposed to help him. There are rules about things like that. Adrian is too innocent. Too pure. His inexperience with life extends to the bedroom as well. Why did his therapist have to be hot, and nerdy, and a virgin?
Shades of Darkness is a hurt/comfort romance with moderate angst, therapist/patient, virgin, and nerd jock dynamics. It is part of the Trials of Fear series but can be read as a standalone.
Rory lives in darkness, suffering the aftereffects of a horrible prank that ruined his life six years ago. He’s not convinced anyone can help with his life-crippling phobia. Until Adrian, a preppy young therapist from the counseling center shows up on his doorstep.
Rory’s brash, unapologetic personality should clash with Adrian’s skittishness. But instead of closing down, Rory finds himself opening up.
One problem. He’s falling for the guy who’s supposed to help him. There are rules about things like that. Adrian is too innocent. Too pure. His inexperience with life extends to the bedroom as well. Why did his therapist have to be hot, and nerdy, and a virgin?
Shades of Darkness is a hurt/comfort romance with moderate angst, therapist/patient, virgin, and nerd jock dynamics. It is part of the Trials of Fear series but can be read as a standalone.
285 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 26, 2018
294 people are currently reading
871 people want to read
About the author
Nicky James
76 books2,264 followersI live in the small town of Petrolia, Ontario, Canada and I am a mother to a wonderful teenage boy (didn't think those words could be typed together...surprise) and wife to a truly supportive and understanding husband, who thankfully doesn't think I'm crazy.
I have always had two profound dreams in life. To fall back hundreds of years in time and live in a simpler world, not bogged down by technology and to write novels. Since only one of these was a possibility I decided to make the other come alive on paper.
I write mm romance novels that take place in fantastical medieval type settings and love to use the challenges of the times to give my stories and characters life.
I have always had two profound dreams in life. To fall back hundreds of years in time and live in a simpler world, not bogged down by technology and to write novels. Since only one of these was a possibility I decided to make the other come alive on paper.
I write mm romance novels that take place in fantastical medieval type settings and love to use the challenges of the times to give my stories and characters life.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 247 reviews
January 28, 2026
Well, this was miserable. And I don't mean Rory and his Heliophobia. That was interesting and also really sad finding out why he developed it.
I mean Adrian. I didn’t expect his living situation to be so horrible. He has been bullied by his roommates for four years and he does almost nothing about it, but suffer. When I say bullied, the things they do to him are honestly disgusting. Pretty much ruined my reading experience. I don’t get why he never reported it. It made me so angry.
Another thing that made me angry is Adrian’s father who never listens to his son and treats him like he’s 15, and not 24. He basically lets him be bullied, up until the very end when he does a 180. Though to be perfectly honest, the whole situation with the roommates and his father felt very unrealistic to me and I’m a bit fed up with characters who are one-dimensionally awful.
The dynamic between Rory and Adrian didn’t work for me. I expected their relationship to be more professional to start with. But that didn’t last long, since they’re attracted to each other. I didn’t like Rory’s push and pull. I also didn’t like how pushy he was in the beginning, after Adrian told him more than once that he couldn’t let anything happen because he needed his job.
Krew is a good friend, but even he annoyed me from time to time. I’m getting tired of reading about sl*tty characters.
I have to say that I enjoyed book 3 a lot more. I didn’t even plan to read this one, but Adrian appears in book 3 and I was intrigued. I did like the cat and the epilogue.
I mean Adrian. I didn’t expect his living situation to be so horrible. He has been bullied by his roommates for four years and he does almost nothing about it, but suffer. When I say bullied, the things they do to him are honestly disgusting. Pretty much ruined my reading experience. I don’t get why he never reported it. It made me so angry.
Another thing that made me angry is Adrian’s father who never listens to his son and treats him like he’s 15, and not 24. He basically lets him be bullied, up until the very end when he does a 180. Though to be perfectly honest, the whole situation with the roommates and his father felt very unrealistic to me and I’m a bit fed up with characters who are one-dimensionally awful.
The dynamic between Rory and Adrian didn’t work for me. I expected their relationship to be more professional to start with. But that didn’t last long, since they’re attracted to each other. I didn’t like Rory’s push and pull. I also didn’t like how pushy he was in the beginning, after Adrian told him more than once that he couldn’t let anything happen because he needed his job.
Krew is a good friend, but even he annoyed me from time to time. I’m getting tired of reading about sl*tty characters.
I have to say that I enjoyed book 3 a lot more. I didn’t even plan to read this one, but Adrian appears in book 3 and I was intrigued. I did like the cat and the epilogue.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 31, 2018
~4.5~
Imagine living in darkness. Every day the curtains are drawn tight to block even a glimmer of sunlight. One 20 watt light bulb casts dull shadows. The computer screen is dimmed. And you leave the house only at night wearing sunglasses and a hoodie.
This has been Rory's life for six years. Because he trusted someone he shouldn't. And paid the price.
Now Rory trusts no one except his friend Krew, who does things for Rory, further enabling Rory to live like a vampire might. Krew and Rory are friends with benefits, and Krew is the only one who knows Rory's history. Krew talks Rory into seeing a therapist, and that's how Rory becomes Adrian's first patient.
Adrian is brilliant and kind, but the very definition of a doormat. In all his study of the human mind, he's never turned inside himself and confronted his own fears. Adrian stammers and pretends. He lives in terror of his bullying roommates and overpowering father.
I have to admit that the way Adrian allowed his roommates to degrade him made me crazy. He never stood up for himself! He put up with it for FOUR YEARS. He was even scared of Rory, associating him with every mean boy at school, when nothing could have been further from the truth.
What I loved about this book is that Adrian and Rory help each other. Adrian may be the professional, but he needs Rory as much as Rory needs him. Adrian becomes Rory's friend, his lover, and encourages Rory to work with a psychiatrist. In turn, Rory gives Adrian courage to believe in himself.
The relationship develops naturally, with Adrian worrying about becoming too friendly with a client and Rory needing Adrian the man more than he needs Adrian the therapist.
The steam level is on the lower side of moderate. Adrian is a virgin, and the scenes of exploration simmer with passion, but most of the sex is off page.
I loved the secondary characters, especially Krew and his cat Samson, whom Rory grudgingly kitty-sits. The books in this series all have protagonists with rare phobias, and each book is a standalone. As such, I don't think Krew will get a story, which bums me out something fierce. Krew was fierce and sassy, and I adored him.
My one frustration is that Adrian's roommates' antics seemed OTT (maybe I'm naive, but their constant harassment seemed so immature, I had a hard time believing these were 22-year-old men, not middle school children). I also wanted more closure regarding Adrian's final humiliation. Because bullies deserve to be punished!
Shades of Darkness isn't as angsty as I expected, although Rory's struggles and treatment are realistically portrayed. The romance is a beacon of hope, and in the end there is light.
Imagine living in darkness. Every day the curtains are drawn tight to block even a glimmer of sunlight. One 20 watt light bulb casts dull shadows. The computer screen is dimmed. And you leave the house only at night wearing sunglasses and a hoodie.
This has been Rory's life for six years. Because he trusted someone he shouldn't. And paid the price.
Now Rory trusts no one except his friend Krew, who does things for Rory, further enabling Rory to live like a vampire might. Krew and Rory are friends with benefits, and Krew is the only one who knows Rory's history. Krew talks Rory into seeing a therapist, and that's how Rory becomes Adrian's first patient.
Adrian is brilliant and kind, but the very definition of a doormat. In all his study of the human mind, he's never turned inside himself and confronted his own fears. Adrian stammers and pretends. He lives in terror of his bullying roommates and overpowering father.
I have to admit that the way Adrian allowed his roommates to degrade him made me crazy. He never stood up for himself! He put up with it for FOUR YEARS. He was even scared of Rory, associating him with every mean boy at school, when nothing could have been further from the truth.
What I loved about this book is that Adrian and Rory help each other. Adrian may be the professional, but he needs Rory as much as Rory needs him. Adrian becomes Rory's friend, his lover, and encourages Rory to work with a psychiatrist. In turn, Rory gives Adrian courage to believe in himself.
The relationship develops naturally, with Adrian worrying about becoming too friendly with a client and Rory needing Adrian the man more than he needs Adrian the therapist.
The steam level is on the lower side of moderate. Adrian is a virgin, and the scenes of exploration simmer with passion, but most of the sex is off page.
I loved the secondary characters, especially Krew and his cat Samson, whom Rory grudgingly kitty-sits. The books in this series all have protagonists with rare phobias, and each book is a standalone. As such, I don't think Krew will get a story, which bums me out something fierce. Krew was fierce and sassy, and I adored him.
My one frustration is that Adrian's roommates' antics seemed OTT (maybe I'm naive, but their constant harassment seemed so immature, I had a hard time believing these were 22-year-old men, not middle school children). I also wanted more closure regarding Adrian's final humiliation. Because bullies deserve to be punished!
Shades of Darkness isn't as angsty as I expected, although Rory's struggles and treatment are realistically portrayed. The romance is a beacon of hope, and in the end there is light.
January 10, 2024
Tears, so many tears. I need a new pack of tissues. And really bad ... I've quit smoking, it was really hard to keep an iron grip with the book, I still feel like I really need to smoke like Rory.
Nicky James is really good with phobias. Even if this one didn't come across as super stifling to me. In the first book of the series, my heart tightened with every episode featuring the main character because I suffered with him. Not so much here.
I still think it's weird, but I guess I just wasn't very immersed in Rory's character. He was so very normal except for his phobia and his tragic past. And what I would actually criticize is that somehow my focus was always much more on Adrian. But I don't know if you can blame the book or if it was just me.
Anyway, bullying is listed in the trigger warnings. But what I really miss in the blurb is a reference to the fact that this is the second major theme of the book, along with Rory's anxiety disorder.
I actually didn't read any reviews of this book, I don't always do that because I knew it would be super well written anyway. Maybe I would have noticed it sooner otherwise. In fact, there was a time when I really enjoyed reading stories about bullying ... unfortunately not anymore.
Perhaps I would have avoided the book if I had known beforehand that it would take up so much space in the story.
So not really bad or anything, I'm just a bit miffed and upset because I'm so angry about what Adrian had to suffer. There are so many characters in this book that I would like to strangle and quarter.
Regardless, really my only criticism is that Adrian distracts so much from Rory, hence only four stars, because I'm reading this series for the anxiety disorder and not for anything else around it.
But, I’m in love with Krew now …
It was looking like there was a good possibility that Krew would have to die that evening. I’d miss him, but my best friend was certainly not someone who understood the term “mind your own fucking business.” 🤭
There was something amazing about fucking. The tight grip. The control. The powerful sensations when I climaxed. Since the first time I’d experienced such a thrill, I’d luxuriated in each orgasm brought out by a tight ass. But that day, with Adrian, I learned there was a big difference between fucking someone senseless and making love. 🤩
Nicky James is really good with phobias. Even if this one didn't come across as super stifling to me. In the first book of the series, my heart tightened with every episode featuring the main character because I suffered with him. Not so much here.
I still think it's weird, but I guess I just wasn't very immersed in Rory's character. He was so very normal except for his phobia and his tragic past. And what I would actually criticize is that somehow my focus was always much more on Adrian. But I don't know if you can blame the book or if it was just me.
Anyway, bullying is listed in the trigger warnings. But what I really miss in the blurb is a reference to the fact that this is the second major theme of the book, along with Rory's anxiety disorder.
I actually didn't read any reviews of this book, I don't always do that because I knew it would be super well written anyway. Maybe I would have noticed it sooner otherwise. In fact, there was a time when I really enjoyed reading stories about bullying ... unfortunately not anymore.
Perhaps I would have avoided the book if I had known beforehand that it would take up so much space in the story.
So not really bad or anything, I'm just a bit miffed and upset because I'm so angry about what Adrian had to suffer. There are so many characters in this book that I would like to strangle and quarter.
Regardless, really my only criticism is that Adrian distracts so much from Rory, hence only four stars, because I'm reading this series for the anxiety disorder and not for anything else around it.
But, I’m in love with Krew now …
It was looking like there was a good possibility that Krew would have to die that evening. I’d miss him, but my best friend was certainly not someone who understood the term “mind your own fucking business.” 🤭
There was something amazing about fucking. The tight grip. The control. The powerful sensations when I climaxed. Since the first time I’d experienced such a thrill, I’d luxuriated in each orgasm brought out by a tight ass. But that day, with Adrian, I learned there was a big difference between fucking someone senseless and making love. 🤩
October 21, 2018
4 Stars
Rory lives in darkness for six years now! He literally lives in darkness! He sleeps in days with all the curtains drawn. And he wakes up at nights, he rarely goes out (at nights), he even can’t tolerate the artificial lights! He just has one friend and trusted no one because he can’t let himself be vulnerable anymore, for what he went through and destroyed him six years ago! And he still is struggling with the consequences and instead of getting better, he’s getting worse!
Every day was a battle, and I was getting tired of fighting. What was once one problem had become many, and there was no end in sight.
So his only friend makes him see a therapist, Adrian. Adrian is smart, fresh out of school and nerdy! And Rory becomes his first patient! But Adrian has his own issues as well!
Well, I think it was better than the first book, at least for me! But the thing that didn’t work out for me was the way Adrian treated his bullies (or should I say the lack of treatment)! He had a bachelor’s degree in psychology but still didn’t know how to react to his bullies! And the other thing that I hated more was the lack of punishment for them! I hated that so much!
Told in dual POV, 1st person. It’s well-written and slow-paced. It’s the second installment in the "Trials of Fear" series and it can be read as a standalone. Overall, I enjoyed it and hope you like it as well!
Rory lives in darkness for six years now! He literally lives in darkness! He sleeps in days with all the curtains drawn. And he wakes up at nights, he rarely goes out (at nights), he even can’t tolerate the artificial lights! He just has one friend and trusted no one because he can’t let himself be vulnerable anymore, for what he went through and destroyed him six years ago! And he still is struggling with the consequences and instead of getting better, he’s getting worse!
Every day was a battle, and I was getting tired of fighting. What was once one problem had become many, and there was no end in sight.
So his only friend makes him see a therapist, Adrian. Adrian is smart, fresh out of school and nerdy! And Rory becomes his first patient! But Adrian has his own issues as well!
Well, I think it was better than the first book, at least for me! But the thing that didn’t work out for me was the way Adrian treated his bullies (or should I say the lack of treatment)! He had a bachelor’s degree in psychology but still didn’t know how to react to his bullies! And the other thing that I hated more was the lack of punishment for them! I hated that so much!
Told in dual POV, 1st person. It’s well-written and slow-paced. It’s the second installment in the "Trials of Fear" series and it can be read as a standalone. Overall, I enjoyed it and hope you like it as well!
October 23, 2020
Audio 5+++ Stars
STORY....4.5 Stars
STORY....4.5 Stars
February 12, 2023
4.5 ⭐️
This is the first book in this series that made me cry..
This was mild-intense, I would say. I cried towards the end, couldn’t help it. It was sad and emotional. I love these two guys! Their emotional connection runs so deeply. Even from only the beginning, they just get each other. Then, the push and pull made it all better. I love their story. how they pushed through all the tough times and how they took their time with each other. Knowing both of them were so hard to open up with each other, it was all perfect. The tension and the growth of their connection were there, I adore them so much. And the sexual tension too! 😮💨
Their dynamic reminds me of my fave MCs from 2021, Nate and Alfie (The Freshman). One, so intimidating, cocky, but caring and then the other so nerdy and tried so hard to be professional with his job lmaoo. I missed reading characters like this.
Rory was one of the MC that never opened up but once he did, it was all vulnerable and emotional. I love that so much about him 🥹😭 He would do anything for Adrian, I adore him!
“You… you take away some of the darkness. You make me smile. I… something about you makes me believe the world isn’t half as awful as I’ve made it out to be. Like maybe there is hope. Maybe I can learn to trust.”
AHHHH SO ADORABLE THESE TWOOO GUYS😭❤️😭❤️
Although Rory’s trauma wasn’t explained immediately, it was all told perfectly. It didn’t left me questioning the whole time, but I love the flow of his story. And when the truth unfold, I WANTED TO PUNCH THE WALL! THAT WAS SO FUCKED UP. I actually cried because of what happened.
And talk about romantic-cliche when your crush stalks you and throw rocks at your window. Ahahahahha that was so sweet and cuteee. They are so old-style 🤣
Overall, this was such an awesome read I couldn’t put it down at all. A whole another level of entertainment and enjoyment. The flow of the story was amazing and the side character, Krew was adorable as well!
I had a sour mood picking this up, but this book made it all better. I love Nicky James, always do always will ❤️
This is the first book in this series that made me cry..
This was mild-intense, I would say. I cried towards the end, couldn’t help it. It was sad and emotional. I love these two guys! Their emotional connection runs so deeply. Even from only the beginning, they just get each other. Then, the push and pull made it all better. I love their story. how they pushed through all the tough times and how they took their time with each other. Knowing both of them were so hard to open up with each other, it was all perfect. The tension and the growth of their connection were there, I adore them so much. And the sexual tension too! 😮💨
Their dynamic reminds me of my fave MCs from 2021, Nate and Alfie (The Freshman). One, so intimidating, cocky, but caring and then the other so nerdy and tried so hard to be professional with his job lmaoo. I missed reading characters like this.
Rory was one of the MC that never opened up but once he did, it was all vulnerable and emotional. I love that so much about him 🥹😭 He would do anything for Adrian, I adore him!
“You… you take away some of the darkness. You make me smile. I… something about you makes me believe the world isn’t half as awful as I’ve made it out to be. Like maybe there is hope. Maybe I can learn to trust.”
AHHHH SO ADORABLE THESE TWOOO GUYS😭❤️😭❤️
Although Rory’s trauma wasn’t explained immediately, it was all told perfectly. It didn’t left me questioning the whole time, but I love the flow of his story. And when the truth unfold, I WANTED TO PUNCH THE WALL! THAT WAS SO FUCKED UP. I actually cried because of what happened.
And talk about romantic-cliche when your crush stalks you and throw rocks at your window. Ahahahahha that was so sweet and cuteee. They are so old-style 🤣
Overall, this was such an awesome read I couldn’t put it down at all. A whole another level of entertainment and enjoyment. The flow of the story was amazing and the side character, Krew was adorable as well!
I had a sour mood picking this up, but this book made it all better. I love Nicky James, always do always will ❤️
August 1, 2018
I don’t understand cruelty. I really don’t. I have a sign in my office that states BE NICE OR LEAVE and I am not joking.
BE NICE OR LEAVE.
I don’t understand bullies and I think that they should burn in Hell.
This book. I’m sure I have said this before, but I’m saying it again. I never in a million years thought I would be so into mental illness in my romance book. Never in a million years. That sounds kind of crass but I am sure you get me. I don’t of course wish mental illness on anyone but well, it obviously works for me because I pretty much loved this.
There were two stories going on in this one. The main focus wasn’t just on Rory’s phobia, this was a story of two men who have been bullied their entire lives, meeting, helping, supporting and loving.
It was heartbreaking and beautiful.
I need sunshine to live. I truly do. It totally has the ability to affect my mood. I can’t imagine not seeing the sun for 6 years and as your phobia intensifies; shying away from light in general. The dark is not a place to stay. I just can’t imagine the fear. I don’t know how Rory did it but he did. Not in the best way and of course not in a way that he could sustain but he did not break. I can’t even imagine.
I don’t understand everything that was going on with Adrian. I am really unsure about how I am supposed to feel about his parents. I believe I am supposed to feel a bit better about them with how the book ended but I feel they were the first bullies in Adrian’s life and they set the stage. I don’t totally get why Adrian had to stay and put up with what he did for four years, I don’t actually know how he did it either, but I hated this part of the story. I hated it. These were grown men acting like children and they deserve, well, to burn in Hell! This too was just heartbreaking to me.
But regardless of the heartbreak and the ugly these two boys found strength in each other. Found a home and it was beautiful.
High five to Krew because yeah, I loved him.
Nicky James is easily becoming a favorite author. Easily.
BE NICE OR LEAVE.
I don’t understand bullies and I think that they should burn in Hell.
This book. I’m sure I have said this before, but I’m saying it again. I never in a million years thought I would be so into mental illness in my romance book. Never in a million years. That sounds kind of crass but I am sure you get me. I don’t of course wish mental illness on anyone but well, it obviously works for me because I pretty much loved this.
There were two stories going on in this one. The main focus wasn’t just on Rory’s phobia, this was a story of two men who have been bullied their entire lives, meeting, helping, supporting and loving.
It was heartbreaking and beautiful.
I need sunshine to live. I truly do. It totally has the ability to affect my mood. I can’t imagine not seeing the sun for 6 years and as your phobia intensifies; shying away from light in general. The dark is not a place to stay. I just can’t imagine the fear. I don’t know how Rory did it but he did. Not in the best way and of course not in a way that he could sustain but he did not break. I can’t even imagine.
I don’t understand everything that was going on with Adrian. I am really unsure about how I am supposed to feel about his parents. I believe I am supposed to feel a bit better about them with how the book ended but I feel they were the first bullies in Adrian’s life and they set the stage. I don’t totally get why Adrian had to stay and put up with what he did for four years, I don’t actually know how he did it either, but I hated this part of the story. I hated it. These were grown men acting like children and they deserve, well, to burn in Hell! This too was just heartbreaking to me.
But regardless of the heartbreak and the ugly these two boys found strength in each other. Found a home and it was beautiful.
High five to Krew because yeah, I loved him.
Nicky James is easily becoming a favorite author. Easily.
February 18, 2023
I dove head first into this story. I loved Aven and his sleepy owl so much that I couldn’t wait to uncover what Rory and Adrian had in store for me. Turns out, they had quite the tale themselves. From extreme bullying, PTSD, opposites attract and an innocent virgin discovering the power of touch, I held on tight to their intense ride. Adrian tugged on my heartstrings within the first few pages. I hated watching him suffer daily and I burned with frustration that his parents not only refused to see but to listen to him. Then my anger surged when his roommates found their kicks and giggles torturing him. Adrian is your classic nerd with his pressed pants and dark glasses. But he’s also brilliant, exceedingly patient, and has a soft core. He wants to help people, but how will he ever succeed with clients when he can’t even help himself? He desperately needs a confidence boost and when he scores a job at the counseling center, he gets his first lift. Then his first client turns him upside down and he questions his career path. There’s something about Rory that calls to him. Yes, he’s desperately attracted to the man and his prickly exterior, but it’s more than that. He wants to help him. He wants to free him from his chains. And without his permission, his heart flies to the clouds, and decides to love Rory too.
My heart clenched and ached almost the entire time. Actually, it felt bruised by the final pages. Was it easy witnessing both of their struggles? No. Was it worth it by the end? Yes! But understand before going in, this isn’t a gentle ride. Rory has an extreme phobia of light. Not just sunlight but all light. His apartment is not only his dark cave but his safe haven. He lives within the shadows of his mind and sinks deeper and deeper as the years pass by. His best friend Krew is the only bright spark in his life. He takes care of the little things Rory can’t do and also fills the gap of human touch he denies himself. Krew is his tether to the outside world and when he begs him to seek therapy, Rory finally caves. He doesn’t expect much from the newbie counselor making a house call and he certainly never anticipated letting his heart into the mix.
Adrian does something to Rory that he can’t explain. He makes Rory want to do better and be better. But Adrian refuses to cross the invisible line that brought them together. Adrian needs this job and can’t risk his first chance at escaping the hell he lives in at home. I loved how despite their limitations, Nicky distinctly demonstrates their connection. I loved the baby steps they took together. I loved how nerves jittered on both sides. Rory might not be confident in his own skin but he’s confident in the bedroom. Until Adrian. Adrian might be the inexperienced one but Rory is just as green when it comes to emotional intimacy. He does hard and fast, not slow and sensual. Until Adrian. His life was severed by the incident that left his body and mind scarred. Suddenly, there’s a new turning point, after Adrian.
I saw the final humiliating straw before it fell. I knew Rory would wish more than anything that he could run outside in the light of day and race to Adrian’s rescue. Unfortunately, as with any phobia, wishes aren’t always granted…easily. With Rory and Adrian, James gifts us another phenomenal addition to this series. Their love story is hard-won and beyond a shadow of a doubt, worth your time.
Beware of: Pain from the past often controls today. Carnal knowledge isn’t always skin deep. And a perfectly imperfect match will make your heart soar.
This book is for: Angst lovers! With each Trials book, I’m discovering much about the power of fear and the joys of overcoming them. This is an angst-heavy story with a promised light at the end of the tunnel. I couldn’t forget the sexy nurse named Ireland from the first book and I am tripping over my feet to race to his story. Maybe I’ll see you there?
Book UNfunk
My heart clenched and ached almost the entire time. Actually, it felt bruised by the final pages. Was it easy witnessing both of their struggles? No. Was it worth it by the end? Yes! But understand before going in, this isn’t a gentle ride. Rory has an extreme phobia of light. Not just sunlight but all light. His apartment is not only his dark cave but his safe haven. He lives within the shadows of his mind and sinks deeper and deeper as the years pass by. His best friend Krew is the only bright spark in his life. He takes care of the little things Rory can’t do and also fills the gap of human touch he denies himself. Krew is his tether to the outside world and when he begs him to seek therapy, Rory finally caves. He doesn’t expect much from the newbie counselor making a house call and he certainly never anticipated letting his heart into the mix.
Adrian does something to Rory that he can’t explain. He makes Rory want to do better and be better. But Adrian refuses to cross the invisible line that brought them together. Adrian needs this job and can’t risk his first chance at escaping the hell he lives in at home. I loved how despite their limitations, Nicky distinctly demonstrates their connection. I loved the baby steps they took together. I loved how nerves jittered on both sides. Rory might not be confident in his own skin but he’s confident in the bedroom. Until Adrian. Adrian might be the inexperienced one but Rory is just as green when it comes to emotional intimacy. He does hard and fast, not slow and sensual. Until Adrian. His life was severed by the incident that left his body and mind scarred. Suddenly, there’s a new turning point, after Adrian.
I saw the final humiliating straw before it fell. I knew Rory would wish more than anything that he could run outside in the light of day and race to Adrian’s rescue. Unfortunately, as with any phobia, wishes aren’t always granted…easily. With Rory and Adrian, James gifts us another phenomenal addition to this series. Their love story is hard-won and beyond a shadow of a doubt, worth your time.
Beware of: Pain from the past often controls today. Carnal knowledge isn’t always skin deep. And a perfectly imperfect match will make your heart soar.
This book is for: Angst lovers! With each Trials book, I’m discovering much about the power of fear and the joys of overcoming them. This is an angst-heavy story with a promised light at the end of the tunnel. I couldn’t forget the sexy nurse named Ireland from the first book and I am tripping over my feet to race to his story. Maybe I’ll see you there?
Book UNfunk
January 8, 2026
⭐️ 4 stars ⭐️
♪ 𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑 — 𝙸 𝙳𝙾𝙽’𝚃 𝙻𝙸𝙺𝙴 𝙳𝙰𝚁𝙺𝙽𝙴𝚂𝚂 𝚋𝚢 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝙰𝚝𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚌 ♪
// Hate it when I close my eyes, I don't like darkness
And I don't wanna go outside, I don't like darkness //
Slightly different premise, same formula. The hurt of the phobia and the comfort of the romance balance each other out.
I felt this plot was a bit more angsty than the previous installment, given the harassment and bullying Adrian goes through almost every day (FUCK BULLIES), and the third-act angst was so uncomfortable it almost made me close the book.
The sweetness of the relationship brightened the plot substantially, enough to be able to power through those tough moments just to see them happy together. It was tender, it was comforting, it was sexy. I can’t really ask for more.
CW and NSFW info (spoilers):
- Bullying/harassment (not between MCs)
- Homophobia
- Panic attacks
- Anxiety disorder
- Heliophobia
- MC w/ scars
- Sex w/ OP on page (before MCs meet)
- Virgin MC
- Non-consensual filming (not between MCs)
- Top/bottom
- Frotting
♪ 𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑 — 𝙸 𝙳𝙾𝙽’𝚃 𝙻𝙸𝙺𝙴 𝙳𝙰𝚁𝙺𝙽𝙴𝚂𝚂 𝚋𝚢 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝙰𝚝𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚌 ♪
// Hate it when I close my eyes, I don't like darkness
And I don't wanna go outside, I don't like darkness //
“Welcome to my world, Adrian.”
“I’m not afraid of the dark.”
“Good.”
Slightly different premise, same formula. The hurt of the phobia and the comfort of the romance balance each other out.
I felt this plot was a bit more angsty than the previous installment, given the harassment and bullying Adrian goes through almost every day (FUCK BULLIES), and the third-act angst was so uncomfortable it almost made me close the book.
For once, I wanted my future to be bright, not comfortably dark and miserable. And maybe, I wanted Adrian to be a part of it.
The sweetness of the relationship brightened the plot substantially, enough to be able to power through those tough moments just to see them happy together. It was tender, it was comforting, it was sexy. I can’t really ask for more.
You’ve been the sole light in my dark world for a long time.
CW and NSFW info (spoilers):
- Bullying/harassment (not between MCs)
- Homophobia
- Panic attacks
- Anxiety disorder
- Heliophobia
- MC w/ scars
- Sex w/ OP on page (before MCs meet)
- Virgin MC
- Non-consensual filming (not between MCs)
- Top/bottom
- Frotting
January 28, 2019
Sigue la tónica de lo que he leído de esta autora. Un tema interesante, en este caso la fobia a la luz, bien explicado, hay veces que cuando leo sus libros siento verdadero estrés y sufro por los personajes, unos protagonistas a los que es fácil querer y muchos sentimientos. Quizás hay una cosa que se encuentra en esta historia y en todas las de Nicky James y que todavía no me termina de convencer, da la sensación de que los personajes pasan de conocerse al amor de una forma muy rápida y un tanto precipitada, no es amor a primera vista, pero se acerca peligrosamente.
Me ha gustado.
Me ha gustado.
March 19, 2019
* 3,5 stars*
I didn’t enjoy this as much as the other books in this series.
Although we get two engaging MCs and a fairly angsty plot (which I usually love), there were a couple of things that bothered me:
.) The fact that Adrien has been living with his bully roommates for FOUR years. There are explanations why this is so, but I didn’t feel convinced that there wouldn’t have been a way to change that situation long before it got blown out of proportion.
.) The bullying and Adrien’s acceptance (or rather ignoring) of it drove me absolutely mental. No, I didn’t want him to retaliate or be aggressive, but the fact he just took it all and let it happen again and again and again, and never did anything about it AT ALL really upset me.
.) Adrien’s parents who have closely to do with this whole mess drove me up the wall, and I genuinely wanted to thump them (gently … ok?) to bring them to their senses.
As you can see, my rage was outrageously ‘ragey’, not sure if this has to do with my hormones, because I usually haven’t got a tendency for violence.
.) Big parts of the book felt like one, long therapy session. As much as I love the medical stuff, it seemed to go on a bit here.
On the positive side, I loved …
.) Adrien and his innocence, all his firsts with Rory and how he slowly comes around to be more confident.
.) Rory, his gruffness, his gentleness and his perplexed reaction to falling in love. I also couldn’t help feeling desperately sorry for him. And the scene at the end was lovely and beautiful and really hit me hard.
.) Krew. I read his book first (and out of sync), and got the impression that he didn’t get on with Adrien all too well. I was wrong and glad this got clarified here.
So a bit of a mixed bag, but still an enjoyable read all over.
I didn’t enjoy this as much as the other books in this series.
Although we get two engaging MCs and a fairly angsty plot (which I usually love), there were a couple of things that bothered me:
.) The fact that Adrien has been living with his bully roommates for FOUR years. There are explanations why this is so, but I didn’t feel convinced that there wouldn’t have been a way to change that situation long before it got blown out of proportion.
.) The bullying and Adrien’s acceptance (or rather ignoring) of it drove me absolutely mental. No, I didn’t want him to retaliate or be aggressive, but the fact he just took it all and let it happen again and again and again, and never did anything about it AT ALL really upset me.
.) Adrien’s parents who have closely to do with this whole mess drove me up the wall, and I genuinely wanted to thump them (gently … ok?) to bring them to their senses.
As you can see, my rage was outrageously ‘ragey’, not sure if this has to do with my hormones, because I usually haven’t got a tendency for violence.
.) Big parts of the book felt like one, long therapy session. As much as I love the medical stuff, it seemed to go on a bit here.
On the positive side, I loved …
.) Adrien and his innocence, all his firsts with Rory and how he slowly comes around to be more confident.
.) Rory, his gruffness, his gentleness and his perplexed reaction to falling in love. I also couldn’t help feeling desperately sorry for him. And the scene at the end was lovely and beautiful and really hit me hard.
.) Krew. I read his book first (and out of sync), and got the impression that he didn’t get on with Adrien all too well. I was wrong and glad this got clarified here.
So a bit of a mixed bag, but still an enjoyable read all over.
November 3, 2022
I liked this book! But I would have liked to have more time with them daring and such. See some more progress for Rory.
I liked how Rory was sweet and considerate with Aiden.
All in all, I really enjoyed it.
Note: 5++++ stars for Adam Gold's narration ❤️❤️❤️
I liked how Rory was sweet and considerate with Aiden.
All in all, I really enjoyed it.
Note: 5++++ stars for Adam Gold's narration ❤️❤️❤️
October 23, 2018
3.5 stars
I didn’t like this one as much as the first book in the series.
I didn’t like this one as much as the first book in the series.
January 3, 2026
Rory lives in darkness, suffering the aftereffects of a horrible prank that ruined his life six years ago. He’s not convinced anyone can help with his life-crippling phobia. Until Adrian, a preppy young therapist from the counseling center shows up on his doorstep. Rory’s brash, unapologetic personality should clash with Adrian’s skittishness. But instead of closing down, Rory finds himself opening up. One problem. He’s falling for the guy who’s supposed to help him. There are rules about things like that. Adrian is too innocent. Too pure. His inexperience with life extends to the bedroom as well. Why did his therapist have to be hot, and nerdy, and a virgin?
Imagine, if you can, living in darkness...every day. The curtains drawn to block out even a single ray of sunlight. Having only one 20-watt bulb that casts dull shadows. Even the computer screen is dimmed. Only at complete darkness do you ever leave your house, but even then...you wear dark sunglasses and a hoodie. This has been Rory's life for six long years...all because he trusted someone he shouldn't have...and now he's paying the price.
Rory no longer trusts anyone except his friend Krew, who does things for Rory, enabling him to live like a vampire. Krew and Rory are "friends with benefits", and Krew is the only one who knows Rory's story. Krew does manage to talk Rory into seeing a therapist, and that's how Rory becomes Adrian's first patient.
Adrian is not only brilliant but also kind...however if you looked in the dictionary, for the definition of "doormat", You'd find Adrian's picture posted right there beside it. When he was studying the human mind, he never thought to look at himself and confront his own fears. Adrian is good at pretending while living in terror of his bullying roommates and his overpowering father. The way Adrian allows his roommates to degrade him made me absolutely crazy! He never once stood up for himself, and he has put up with this for FOUR LONG YEARS! He was even afraid of Rory, associating him with every "mean" boy he had known at school. Of course nothing was further from the truth. I began to wonder when the therapist was going to see a therapist??
Adrian and Rory did help each other. Adrian may have been the professional, but he needed Rory as much as Rory needed him. Adrian quickly becomes Rory's best friend...then he becomes Rory's lover. He encourages Rory to see a psychiatrist....AT LAST... thank goodness! Then, in turn, Rory gives Adrian courage to finally believe in himself. The relationship develops beautifully and naturally. The "steam level" in this story, is on the low side of moderate. Adrian is a virgin, and most of the sex is indicated...and mostly "off page".
I liked most of the secondary characters, especially Krew and his cat "Samson". I admit that I liked the cat more:) Rory grudgingly was sometimes Samson's "kitty-sitter". It seems that the books in this series all have characters with some strange phobias. Each of the books can also be read out of order and as standalones.
My one slight frustration here was that Adrian's roommate's actions seemed to be a bit too "over the top". The constant harassment bordered on extreme immaturity. I couldn't believe that these were 22-year-old adult men; not small children...or that they could actually act and say some of the things that they did. I also would have liked more closure regarding Adrian's final humiliation. Every bully deserves to be punished no matter who they are!
I guess that I expected a bit more of everything that makes an M/M Romance book have that "happy ending feeling". Rory's struggles and his treatment were realistically portrayed. The romance gave it a slight ray of hope, and in the end, there is some light. I'll keep the 5-star final rating that I believe I have given every Nicky James book that I have ever read...this can't be the exception in spite of the small things that I have mentioned.
Imagine, if you can, living in darkness...every day. The curtains drawn to block out even a single ray of sunlight. Having only one 20-watt bulb that casts dull shadows. Even the computer screen is dimmed. Only at complete darkness do you ever leave your house, but even then...you wear dark sunglasses and a hoodie. This has been Rory's life for six long years...all because he trusted someone he shouldn't have...and now he's paying the price.
Rory no longer trusts anyone except his friend Krew, who does things for Rory, enabling him to live like a vampire. Krew and Rory are "friends with benefits", and Krew is the only one who knows Rory's story. Krew does manage to talk Rory into seeing a therapist, and that's how Rory becomes Adrian's first patient.
Adrian is not only brilliant but also kind...however if you looked in the dictionary, for the definition of "doormat", You'd find Adrian's picture posted right there beside it. When he was studying the human mind, he never thought to look at himself and confront his own fears. Adrian is good at pretending while living in terror of his bullying roommates and his overpowering father. The way Adrian allows his roommates to degrade him made me absolutely crazy! He never once stood up for himself, and he has put up with this for FOUR LONG YEARS! He was even afraid of Rory, associating him with every "mean" boy he had known at school. Of course nothing was further from the truth. I began to wonder when the therapist was going to see a therapist??
Adrian and Rory did help each other. Adrian may have been the professional, but he needed Rory as much as Rory needed him. Adrian quickly becomes Rory's best friend...then he becomes Rory's lover. He encourages Rory to see a psychiatrist....AT LAST... thank goodness! Then, in turn, Rory gives Adrian courage to finally believe in himself. The relationship develops beautifully and naturally. The "steam level" in this story, is on the low side of moderate. Adrian is a virgin, and most of the sex is indicated...and mostly "off page".
I liked most of the secondary characters, especially Krew and his cat "Samson". I admit that I liked the cat more:) Rory grudgingly was sometimes Samson's "kitty-sitter". It seems that the books in this series all have characters with some strange phobias. Each of the books can also be read out of order and as standalones.
My one slight frustration here was that Adrian's roommate's actions seemed to be a bit too "over the top". The constant harassment bordered on extreme immaturity. I couldn't believe that these were 22-year-old adult men; not small children...or that they could actually act and say some of the things that they did. I also would have liked more closure regarding Adrian's final humiliation. Every bully deserves to be punished no matter who they are!
I guess that I expected a bit more of everything that makes an M/M Romance book have that "happy ending feeling". Rory's struggles and his treatment were realistically portrayed. The romance gave it a slight ray of hope, and in the end, there is some light. I'll keep the 5-star final rating that I believe I have given every Nicky James book that I have ever read...this can't be the exception in spite of the small things that I have mentioned.
September 22, 2020
3.5 stars
I loved Rory and Adrian’s relationship, and found Rory’s phobia really interesting, but the book frustrated me. A lot. It’s mostly a book about bullying.
Rory was bullied years ago. And Adrian has been bullied his whole life, and it continues. And while I understand that he was a victim, I also felt that he wasn’t doing anything to help himself. Why was he letting his parents bully him too? Why can’t a grown ass 24yo man tell his parents off and support himself? Maybe it’s because I was self sufficient at that age. Maybe it’s because I have so many students working full time while also studying full time and making it work. I just don’t get why he allowed his living situation to continue for so many years just because his father said so. I constantly wanted to scream at him. You have a job. Get some student loans and make it work.
I wanted to see Adrian telling his parents off. I wanted to see Rory conquer his fears. And while there was some progress made, I was left unsatisfied on both sides.
I loved Rory and Adrian together, loved their connection and their differences. The sex scenes were steamy as always with this author. Krew was awesome as the MCs best friend. Overall an enjoyable read.
I loved Rory and Adrian’s relationship, and found Rory’s phobia really interesting, but the book frustrated me. A lot. It’s mostly a book about bullying.
Rory was bullied years ago. And Adrian has been bullied his whole life, and it continues. And while I understand that he was a victim, I also felt that he wasn’t doing anything to help himself. Why was he letting his parents bully him too? Why can’t a grown ass 24yo man tell his parents off and support himself? Maybe it’s because I was self sufficient at that age. Maybe it’s because I have so many students working full time while also studying full time and making it work. I just don’t get why he allowed his living situation to continue for so many years just because his father said so. I constantly wanted to scream at him. You have a job. Get some student loans and make it work.
I wanted to see Adrian telling his parents off. I wanted to see Rory conquer his fears. And while there was some progress made, I was left unsatisfied on both sides.
I loved Rory and Adrian together, loved their connection and their differences. The sex scenes were steamy as always with this author. Krew was awesome as the MCs best friend. Overall an enjoyable read.
January 6, 2022
I've always hated pranks! It doesn't matter if it's harmless or not!
Heliophobia: The fear of the sun, sunlight, or any bright light.
Rory spends six years of his life imprisoned in the dark after a silly prank by some bullies whom he considered as friends!
Agreeing to get some help at the insistence of his best friend Krew, he meets Adrian, who will change his life radically.
Adrian's life is not all bed of roses either.
And when Rory realizes this after an incident in their first session, they can't help themselves from getting close to each other against their better judgement.
I hated Adrian's roommates! They were like little kids, not college students!
I hated Adrian's parents too! They let him suffer all these years because of their own selfishness! But at least they were able to redeem themselves a little at the end of the book.
Most of all, I was mad at Adrian for letting this all go on so many years! He never stood up for himself!
After I spew my hate to all the side characters, I have to say I'm a little bit in love with Krew. I hope to see him again in the following books.
And I really loved Adrian and Rory together!
Their relationship.
How they needed each other.
How they helped each other.
How their trust to one another gradually deepen.
How they opened up their hearts and minds to each other over time!
Heliophobia: The fear of the sun, sunlight, or any bright light.
Rory spends six years of his life imprisoned in the dark after a silly prank by some bullies whom he considered as friends!
Agreeing to get some help at the insistence of his best friend Krew, he meets Adrian, who will change his life radically.
Adrian's life is not all bed of roses either.
And when Rory realizes this after an incident in their first session, they can't help themselves from getting close to each other against their better judgement.
I hated Adrian's roommates! They were like little kids, not college students!
I hated Adrian's parents too! They let him suffer all these years because of their own selfishness! But at least they were able to redeem themselves a little at the end of the book.
Most of all, I was mad at Adrian for letting this all go on so many years! He never stood up for himself!
After I spew my hate to all the side characters, I have to say I'm a little bit in love with Krew. I hope to see him again in the following books.
And I really loved Adrian and Rory together!
Their relationship.
How they needed each other.
How they helped each other.
How their trust to one another gradually deepen.
How they opened up their hearts and minds to each other over time!
September 7, 2025
Nicky did it again. Always a 5 star read from her. Granted, this was probably her most high angst book for me after Love Me Whole, but that might be because I'm hyper sensitive to bullying. I wasn't even bullied as a child.. At least, not very much, but it's very triggering for me.
Anyways, this book made me empathize with anyone who has extreme phobias. Life and brain chemistry is truly unfair. Developing phobias is one way that the brain processes trauma.
Nicky is so good at this. I never feel like her characters are whining, incompetent or dramatic; she always gives us the background to understand why people feel what they feel.
The last few chapters gave me a heart attack, but that's the hallmark of a good book, imo. Full 5 stars, you don't need to read anything else in the series, I would change nothing, it is ✨perfect✨!
Anyways, this book made me empathize with anyone who has extreme phobias. Life and brain chemistry is truly unfair. Developing phobias is one way that the brain processes trauma.
Nicky is so good at this. I never feel like her characters are whining, incompetent or dramatic; she always gives us the background to understand why people feel what they feel.
The last few chapters gave me a heart attack, but that's the hallmark of a good book, imo. Full 5 stars, you don't need to read anything else in the series, I would change nothing, it is ✨perfect✨!
September 19, 2022
better than the first one for sure.
March 29, 2019
This is my second book by Nicky James and I still can't decide if this author is doing it for me or not. I loved the writing here, not just liked it but LOVED it. I was extremely engaged in the beginning of the story where Rory's and Adrian's relationship starts to unfold, where we learn more about Rory's issues, where they make that little dance that takes place when you get to know someone and you know there's something really good there.
However, after the 60 % mark, I was getting increasingly frustrated. Adrian is supposed to be finishing his bachelor in psychology and yet he's being steamrolled by both his domineering parents and his abusive roomates. What's worse, he keeps insisting that he can control his roomates while obviously underestimating the level of the threat. From what I've read here, I'd never trust him as my therapist, since he doesn't even know how to handle his own issues. At this point, it became apparent that the other shoe would drop sooner rather than later, while nothing much changed in their relationship anymore, since we needed that pivotal event to happen and spur our heroes in the right direction. This more or less happened in the first book of the series as well; stubborn heroes, stuck in place, while the reader waits for something big -and most likely bad- to happen that will push the story forward. Call it a pet peeve of mine, but I'd rather my heroes grow up and leave their safety net on their own, than have it forced upon them. As a result, I ended up not liking Adrian as much as I did in the beginning, because of his wishy-washy ways.
Not sure I want to continue with the series: the writing is excellent, the premises unique and extremelly intriguing, yet I seem to have a problem with the heroes and the way they deal (or not) with their issues. We'll see...
However, after the 60 % mark, I was getting increasingly frustrated. Adrian is supposed to be finishing his bachelor in psychology and yet he's being steamrolled by both his domineering parents and his abusive roomates. What's worse, he keeps insisting that he can control his roomates while obviously underestimating the level of the threat. From what I've read here, I'd never trust him as my therapist, since he doesn't even know how to handle his own issues. At this point, it became apparent that the other shoe would drop sooner rather than later, while nothing much changed in their relationship anymore, since we needed that pivotal event to happen and spur our heroes in the right direction. This more or less happened in the first book of the series as well; stubborn heroes, stuck in place, while the reader waits for something big -and most likely bad- to happen that will push the story forward. Call it a pet peeve of mine, but I'd rather my heroes grow up and leave their safety net on their own, than have it forced upon them. As a result, I ended up not liking Adrian as much as I did in the beginning, because of his wishy-washy ways.
Not sure I want to continue with the series: the writing is excellent, the premises unique and extremelly intriguing, yet I seem to have a problem with the heroes and the way they deal (or not) with their issues. We'll see...
September 20, 2021
Reread and first listen
Loved Adam Golds narration, and everything that I said before still applies, I forgot how much I love this series!
4-4.5 stars
I just know all of Nicky James' books are going to break me in some way or another, and this is no different.
Adrian and Rory, what a couple, they have gone through so much in their lives with the bullying and the phobias and the family issues. I am so glad that they found each other and had the support they needed to help each other out.
I will say the part
I can't wait to read about Ireland, he was in the first book for a hot second and I can't wait to read his story!
Loved Adam Golds narration, and everything that I said before still applies, I forgot how much I love this series!
4-4.5 stars
I just know all of Nicky James' books are going to break me in some way or another, and this is no different.
Adrian and Rory, what a couple, they have gone through so much in their lives with the bullying and the phobias and the family issues. I am so glad that they found each other and had the support they needed to help each other out.
I will say the part
I can't wait to read about Ireland, he was in the first book for a hot second and I can't wait to read his story!
December 10, 2018
4.5 Stars!
October 27, 2020
5 stars audio
4 stars story
4 stars story
July 21, 2025
Rory + Adrian 🖤
Therapist & Patient | Opposites attract | Severe phobia | First times
....
"I was just as much a virgin as Adrian when it came to sharing sex on an emotional level."
"I never used to enjoy kissing. It was an intimacy I'd never cared for. With Adrian, I couldn't get enough."
"You... you take away some of my darkness. You make me smile. I... something about you makes me believe the world isn't half as awful as I've made it out to be. Like maybe there is hope. Maybe I can learn to trust."
"He was a treasure, and it didn't matter how many times I got to explore him, I marveled at who he was, and that somehow we'd end up together.
"He was gorgeous. Fuck all those people in his past who never took the chance to notice. It was too late for them. He was mine."
....
⚠️possible SPOILERS BELOW in detailed tropes/content and trigger warning lists
Tropes/content:
Nerd therapist
Traumatized patient with tough exterior
Web Developer
College (has BS degree already but continuing with a goal towards a Ph.D.)
Strangers to lovers
Opposites attract
Virgin
First kiss, first everything
Touch him and die (Adrian's bully gets thrown up against a wall several times by Rory)
Rory fires Adrian as his therapist so they can be together without Adrian losing his job
Jealousy
Rory is scared to say I love you and have penetrative sex with Adrian because he's never felt like this with anyone else. Scared of being hurt. "fucking is easy but I've never made love"
Strict roles
TWs:
Severe phobia of light - heliaphobia
Trauma and betrayal from "friends" leading to the phobia
Severe burns and scarring
Sex on page with side character - FWB situation (before MCs know each other) They dont have sex again after MCs meet.
Rory is still friends with his FWB throughout the book. He ends up becoming Adrian's friend, too. But there's jealousy there for a while.
Lots of bullying of MC on page (not by other MC)
Bullies repeatedly say "fag"
Bullying from past recounted on page
Violence
MC humiliated in public by bullies
Parents aren't emotionally supportive
Therapist & Patient | Opposites attract | Severe phobia | First times
....
"I was just as much a virgin as Adrian when it came to sharing sex on an emotional level."
"I never used to enjoy kissing. It was an intimacy I'd never cared for. With Adrian, I couldn't get enough."
"You... you take away some of my darkness. You make me smile. I... something about you makes me believe the world isn't half as awful as I've made it out to be. Like maybe there is hope. Maybe I can learn to trust."
"He was a treasure, and it didn't matter how many times I got to explore him, I marveled at who he was, and that somehow we'd end up together.
"He was gorgeous. Fuck all those people in his past who never took the chance to notice. It was too late for them. He was mine."
....
⚠️possible SPOILERS BELOW in detailed tropes/content and trigger warning lists
Tropes/content:
Nerd therapist
Traumatized patient with tough exterior
Web Developer
College (has BS degree already but continuing with a goal towards a Ph.D.)
Strangers to lovers
Opposites attract
Virgin
First kiss, first everything
Touch him and die (Adrian's bully gets thrown up against a wall several times by Rory)
Rory fires Adrian as his therapist so they can be together without Adrian losing his job
Jealousy
Rory is scared to say I love you and have penetrative sex with Adrian because he's never felt like this with anyone else. Scared of being hurt. "fucking is easy but I've never made love"
Strict roles
TWs:
Severe phobia of light - heliaphobia
Trauma and betrayal from "friends" leading to the phobia
Severe burns and scarring
Sex on page with side character - FWB situation (before MCs know each other) They dont have sex again after MCs meet.
Rory is still friends with his FWB throughout the book. He ends up becoming Adrian's friend, too. But there's jealousy there for a while.
Lots of bullying of MC on page (not by other MC)
Bullies repeatedly say "fag"
Bullying from past recounted on page
Violence
MC humiliated in public by bullies
Parents aren't emotionally supportive
April 13, 2021
Not your typical romance and that’s a good thing!
Phobias can obviously be debilitating and Rory’s fear of sunlight made him paralyzed.
He seeks help at Krew’s insistence. (Krew is a fantastic side character btw)
This leads him to Adrian who changes his life forever.
Adrian has his own struggles. Bullying being at the top of the list. This struggle really bonds Rory to Adrian because he was bullied too.
This story is very intense and I’m glad these two characters found each other. They made each other better. It was a true testament to their love and trust in one another that they were both able to overcome their fears. I’m really enjoying this series.
Phobias can obviously be debilitating and Rory’s fear of sunlight made him paralyzed.
He seeks help at Krew’s insistence. (Krew is a fantastic side character btw)
This leads him to Adrian who changes his life forever.
Adrian has his own struggles. Bullying being at the top of the list. This struggle really bonds Rory to Adrian because he was bullied too.
This story is very intense and I’m glad these two characters found each other. They made each other better. It was a true testament to their love and trust in one another that they were both able to overcome their fears. I’m really enjoying this series.
November 1, 2018
Love this series so far!
Please give Krew a story too!!! :D
Please give Krew a story too!!! :D
August 5, 2018
Imagine having to live in darkness for 7 years???
Searching for living spaces in the dark even creeped me out. I can't imagine it. I felt Rory's desperation, his falling deeper into the darkness. The brain does peculiar things in order for us to survive traumatic events. And Rory experience was horrific...
At first Rory was assigned to Adrian as his very first client in therapy. He would go to Rory's place after office hours because Rory wasn't able to get usual therapy because of his inability of being in daylight. It was obvious that these two men understood each other. They came from the same background and had endured a lot ofv bullying all their lives. Adrian was still living this daily. I loved how they needed each other to get better.
The thing I didn't like at all was the bullying. I HATE bullies and I was heartbroken when all that Adrian's bullies got, was a slap on the wrists. They should've been expelled from school.
Rory's actual therapy was not easy. His brain needed to learn new experiences again. Learn how to think about things logically and not being ruled by his panic that much. It was interesting reading about it. It felt very real.
Then after seven years Rory witnesses a sunrise...
And please let me mention Krew!!! Krew was Rory's best friend and he was AWESOME. He was such a good friend to him but regretfully enabled Rory so he fell deeper into the darkness. He understood that Rory needed help and got it for him. I would love to see Krew getting his HEA.
*HIGHLY RECOMMENDED*
Searching for living spaces in the dark even creeped me out. I can't imagine it. I felt Rory's desperation, his falling deeper into the darkness. The brain does peculiar things in order for us to survive traumatic events. And Rory experience was horrific...
At first Rory was assigned to Adrian as his very first client in therapy. He would go to Rory's place after office hours because Rory wasn't able to get usual therapy because of his inability of being in daylight. It was obvious that these two men understood each other. They came from the same background and had endured a lot ofv bullying all their lives. Adrian was still living this daily. I loved how they needed each other to get better.
The thing I didn't like at all was the bullying. I HATE bullies and I was heartbroken when all that Adrian's bullies got, was a slap on the wrists. They should've been expelled from school.
Rory's actual therapy was not easy. His brain needed to learn new experiences again. Learn how to think about things logically and not being ruled by his panic that much. It was interesting reading about it. It felt very real.
Then after seven years Rory witnesses a sunrise...
Slowly, inch by inch, the sun made its appearance. The day took shape, and the darkness retreated more. It wasn't physical. With every step forward, the horrors of my past retreated as well. I was empowered. I was in control, and I WOULD get better, even if it took years to conquer.
And please let me mention Krew!!! Krew was Rory's best friend and he was AWESOME. He was such a good friend to him but regretfully enabled Rory so he fell deeper into the darkness. He understood that Rory needed help and got it for him. I would love to see Krew getting his HEA.
*HIGHLY RECOMMENDED*
September 27, 2018
A Joyfully Jay review.
4.5 stars
I have read several books by Nicky James this year and they all have impressed me. Shades of Darkness is no different and it’s a well-constructed, if not harrowing tale for both MCs. The book is dual first person POV, which is my happy place, and it really works to get us inside the minds of both Rory and Adrian.
Rory suffers in silence. He works from home and has little contact with the outside world. He has one friend, Krew, that he has confided in. That has been a double-edged sword as while he has someone to lean on, Krew runs basic errands for Rory, which has the unexpected side effect of further facilitating his isolation. Rory was bullied his entire life and he trusts no one (except Krew), and the pace of the story is well done and realistic as he slowly tries to trust Adrian and reluctantly get himself help.
Read Michelle's review in its entirety here.
4.5 stars
I have read several books by Nicky James this year and they all have impressed me. Shades of Darkness is no different and it’s a well-constructed, if not harrowing tale for both MCs. The book is dual first person POV, which is my happy place, and it really works to get us inside the minds of both Rory and Adrian.
Rory suffers in silence. He works from home and has little contact with the outside world. He has one friend, Krew, that he has confided in. That has been a double-edged sword as while he has someone to lean on, Krew runs basic errands for Rory, which has the unexpected side effect of further facilitating his isolation. Rory was bullied his entire life and he trusts no one (except Krew), and the pace of the story is well done and realistic as he slowly tries to trust Adrian and reluctantly get himself help.
Read Michelle's review in its entirety here.
March 30, 2019
4 sunny stars! 🥶
I stayed up until 2AM to finish this. This was “darker” than the first book because of Rory’s Heliophobia. He lived in the dark, get it? 🥶 but it actually felt lighter than than the first book for me. Sure, Rory was basically cripplingly afraid of light but perhaps because he wasn’t surrounded by death like Finnley was. Hmm...🤔
Anyways, the stuff both Rory and Adrian were dealing with were actually anger inducing for me. Rory’s was more in the past but Adrian’s...argh!! Wish i could wring the necks of the people involved! I was just so angry I’m surprised I wasn’t shaking in anger.
All in all, a surprisingly light read. On to the next book!🤓
I stayed up until 2AM to finish this. This was “darker” than the first book because of Rory’s Heliophobia. He lived in the dark, get it? 🥶 but it actually felt lighter than than the first book for me. Sure, Rory was basically cripplingly afraid of light but perhaps because he wasn’t surrounded by death like Finnley was. Hmm...🤔
Anyways, the stuff both Rory and Adrian were dealing with were actually anger inducing for me. Rory’s was more in the past but Adrian’s...argh!! Wish i could wring the necks of the people involved! I was just so angry I’m surprised I wasn’t shaking in anger.
All in all, a surprisingly light read. On to the next book!🤓
September 29, 2025
4.5 stars;
Another incredible addition to this series by Nicky James. I'm such a hurt/comfort lover to my core, and this book delivered exactly what I love. While it didn't quite top the first book for me, I still absolutely adored it. Rory and Adrian were amazing together. Their chemistry, their growth, and the way they leaned into each other was everything. I loved every moment of their story and cannot wait to see what comes next in this series.
Another incredible addition to this series by Nicky James. I'm such a hurt/comfort lover to my core, and this book delivered exactly what I love. While it didn't quite top the first book for me, I still absolutely adored it. Rory and Adrian were amazing together. Their chemistry, their growth, and the way they leaned into each other was everything. I loved every moment of their story and cannot wait to see what comes next in this series.
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