Suffering and the Heart of God: How Trauma Destroys and Christ Restores

by Diane Langberg, Nan McNamara (Narrator)

She’s seen slave dungeons in Ghana. Genocide in Rwanda. Systemic sexual abuse in Brazil. Child abuse and domestic violence in the U.S. After forty years of counseling abuse survivors around the world, Dr. Diane Langberg, a world renowned trauma expert, remains certain that what trauma destroys, Christ can and does restore. This book will convince you, too, of the healing heart of God.

Genres: Counselling, Christian, Theology, Faith, Psychology, Nonfiction, Christianity

Audiobook

First published September 1, 2015

About the author

Dr. Diane Langberg is a practicing psychologist whose clinical expertise includes 35 years of working with trauma survivors and clergy. She speaks internationally on topics related to women, trauma, ministry and the Christian life.

Reviews

[Dana Schnitzel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was my second time through this book, and I honestly cant recommend it highly enough. This is on my "Every Christian Should Read This Book" list. Langberg, a trauma counselor for forty-odd years, gives deep insights and practical tools on topics like 'how to grieve well,' 'how to be a good comforter,' abuse of various kinds, and healing from church hurt and abuse. She discusses deep, soul crushing suffering of Rwandan genocide survivors while still acknowledging and speaking to the daily griefs of living in a sinful world. Its accessible and important. Please read it.

Since I work in a trauma field, and am familiar with some of the teaching and rhetoric surrounding these issues, I found it particularly refreshing for Langberg to talk openly about the role of sin in our suffering, in healthy ways (not like Job's friends). Unlike many approaches to healing, she does not assume that people are basically good, but by the grace of God, healing is possible.

"The victory of Jesus Christ, his kingdom and his glory, come by way of scars, by weakness, by suffering. Do you hear the hope in that for victims if trauma? Nothing you can do will make it as if tragedy did not happen. Those who have been traumatized by abuse, violence, war, or earthquakes will never be the same. Lives are permanently altered. The message of the scars of Christ is not that the resurrection takes suffering away, but rather that the resurrection catches it up into God's glory. When we get to eternity, the most beautiful thing there will be the scars of Christ. Apart from those scars, you and I would never see him except as judge." -p. 74

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

While this book is aimed at counselors and pastors who counsel, I wish every Christian would read it. Langberg tackles issues like childhood sexual abuse and domestic violence, and answers questions that so many in the church ask (why didn't she just leave, why don't you get over it, etc). The best book on counseling I've read.

[Anne Michal · Rating 5 out of 5]

An absolutely incredible book! You don’t need to be a counselor or in ministry to benefit from reading this book. We all experience suffering and have friends in dark places. There’s so much Godly wisdom about suffering packed in here both theologically and practically. Be prepared to read it slowly cause it is a dense read and also a hard emotional one but so so worth it!!

[Jason Harris · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the best book I know on counselling. I wish every pastor would read this book. And every Christian who does counselling at any level.

This book oozes grace and gospel. And that's so important to me. But this book also teaches pastors and counsellors how not to harm those who have suffered. If you are a pastor who wants to help—not hurt—women who come to you for help with domestic violence or victims of childhood sexual abuse, you need to read this book. Hint: Trauma is not just bad thinking. Trauma is a medical reality and if you don't understand what it is and how it works, you will almost certainly harm those who suffer from it as you try to help them. And you won't even know it. As a person who suffered greatly at the hands of Christian counsellors who did not understand what trauma is and how it works, I long to see Christ's church do better with this. At the risk of overstating my case, if you are in a helping ministry and you chose not to learn how to not be dangerous, you will face a rightfully angry God for it. Saying this won't help me. But it might help some of those who come along the path behind me. So I pray that Christian leaders will come to see our duty to understand these things more carefully.

But there is so much more to this book than just that. It is a solid, Reformed theology of suffering. It is a sound summary of how to handle helping the victims of various forms of abuse. It is advice from a veteran on how to handle church abuse scandals. It is wisdom from a therapist on how to live out the gospel in the counselling room.

Again, I risk overstating my case in saying this, but this is one of the most important books I've read. Top ten without a doubt.

I thank God for Dr. Langberg's ministry in this book. And I pray that many will take the time to absorb these truths for God's glory in his church.

[Rebecca Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Man, this book a powerful source of wisdom, counsel and encouragement to come alongside the brokenhearted and wounded. I think every believer who’s in a shepherding role in ministry should read this one.

[Savannah Knepp · Rating 4 out of 5]

I appreciated how this book instilled hope yet would not allow you to walk away illusioned by any great visions of easy and mess-free counseling. It is hard and often ugly work but it is the way of Christ to enter into the sufferings of those he loves, to face the world for what it truly is, and to not allow the evils of the world to have the final say. 

Truly excellent content. That said, I did have a hard time staying engaged and finishing it took way longer than I expected.

[Ruth · Rating 5 out of 5]

At this point in my reading life, I should no longer be surprised when books meet me exactly where I am. And yet it still amazes me. Not because it happens, but because it feels so much like magic when it does. This book was the right book at the right time. A challenge and a balm.

[Hope Helms · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is incredibly encouraging, convicting, and helpful all at the same time with a deep theological foundation of the gospel and grace. The best book I’ve read from a Christian perspective on how to help those in suffering and also encouragement in how to persevere as the person wading through the darkness with others and the marks that leaves on us as well. I also love that she does not divorce psychology from scripture or Christian counseling as is often the case in biblical counseling movements.

[Monique · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is gold and should be required reading for followers of Christ.

[Abigail Westbrook · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m not in the target demographic for this book (I’m not an official counselor or therapist), yet I learned so much from it and I would recommend it to every believer. I deeply appreciate the author’s solid, Biblical approach and her clear, straightforward way of dealing with challenging topics. We all need a solid theology of suffering and some ideas of how to help others. I also gained a new degree of sympathy for those in the front lines of mental healthcare, and the price they pay for offering help to others. Excellent book, all around.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Can I give this 10 stars?! This book is specifically written for the Christian counselor, which I am not, but I think anyone involved in any kind of ministry would greatly benefit from reading this. I gleaned SO much from this book. Diane Langberg is a wealth of knowledge on this topic of trauma and abuse and suffering. This put words to some of what I have experienced as well as equipped me to help others who have gone through similar things. This book was truly transformational for me and I felt like I met God in the midst of these pages.

[Hannah Marie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this book for CNS 6620 - PTSD, Trauma Intensive Course. Excellent book that adequately represents the weight of trauma/abuse and the restoration of Christ. It challenges and calls out the way the Christian church has time after time fallen short in protecting the vulnerable, covering up to preserve reputation, and the abuse of power. One of my favorite books I have read for school.

[Amanda Stevens · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is written to Christian counselors, specifically trauma counselors. I read it as a Christian interested in trauma psychology and desiring to be prepared as a friend or church member to walk beside traumatized individuals to the extent a layperson can be prepared to do so. I also read it as an author of fiction who desires to portray human beings accurately, including traumatized human beings. Well, this is worth the read for anyone interested in any of the above, not only counselors. I have been educated by Langberg's knowledge and experience, equipped to pursue further realism and truth in my art, and reminded in vivid imagery of the glory of grace, the suffering of Jesus, and the power of the gospel to restore all lives including traumatized lives.

[Eleasa · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is good soul care for a people-helper like me (GP counsellor) from someone wise and warm who has journeyed into the deepest, darkest places of war, trauma, and abuse, even tragically in the church. She writes about the many faces of grief and vicarious trauma, among other pertinent areas. Diane Langberg provides words of counsel to other people-helpers and I'll be dipping into this time and again.

[Lori Myers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book, a must-read. I am grateful for Diane Langberg’s wisdom, compassion, and knowledge expressed in this book. I appreciated the thoroughness of her content from addressing the issues related to ministering to those who have experienced trauma and abuse to identifying the toxic leaders and organizations who perpetuate abuse. It was a sobering yet important and compelling read.

Notable quotes:

“Pain is the only protest in the human constitution that something is wrong. It is the only thing that raises its voice against existing abuses. If you jump to silence pain, you will fail to find the wound. Pain is the Martin Luther of the human framework; it plasters the wall of the city with the announcement that something is wrong.”


“Whenever power is used in a way that wounds the vulnerable, trust is exploited and abuse has occurred.”

In recent years I have begun to understand that the call of God on my life is a bit unusual. It is a clear call to enter into the fellowship of his sufferings. It is a call to weep with those who weep. We must not forget that we serve a God who weeps, for he never calls us to something we do not first find in him.”

“Christ likeness is visible in character…the great end is Christlikeness. We don’t get there on big stages with big audiences lights and approval. We get there slowly and quietly in the kingdom of the heart. “

“Loving as he does is a call to truth and light. To ignore, hide or excuse sin in the body of Christ is to work against him. “

[Matthew Loftus · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very helpful guide to understanding trauma, condensing the most important aspects of trauma and healing into a readable book for those who suffer or help. The author is the authority for Christian trauma work, and she brings decades of experience to this book along with a thorough understanding of modern research into trauma and the theological implications of suffering the unspeakable. My one complaint is that the book can be repetitive, especially when it comes to reciting lists of... well, unspeakable things. Perhaps some people who are unfamiliar with the grievous harm that people sitting beside them in the pews may have experienced will benefit from hearing about the many different permutations of traumatic experience, but... perhaps not. Still a highly recommended book for pastors, counselors, medical professionals, social workers, and others who encounter traumatized person in their work and want to understand how healing does or does not happen.

[Adriann Saint · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is written so gracefully and full of humility. It is challenging, convicting, but also blunt about the reality of abuse and trauma in a broken world. I think all Christian counselors, pastors, and people who desire to work with hurting people need to read this!!

“Suffering will either lead you to quit, harden your heart, or it will drive you to God begging for more of him.”

[Hannah Layman · Rating 5 out of 5]

This will be a life long resource. 10/10

[Rebecca Rhone · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book I would recommend most highly to Christian mental health providers. Arguably the best book I’ve read all year.

[Stephanie Wilkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

My third read through, and every time I learn more about the dynamics of suffering and trauma. This is my go to book for understanding God’s heart and posture towards those who have experiences trauma. To me, Diane Langberg is the epitome of what it means to be an integrative clinician.

[Andrzej Stelmasiak · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book. Just a bit too wordy, should be 200 pages instead of 340, nothing would be lost and it would be much more focused.
But it's still really worthwhile read, easy 5 stars.

[Kristi Ray · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m thankful to have greater insight about myself and others who suffered from trauma. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. He is faithful.

[Panda Incognito · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is unquestionably the best book about trauma and suffering that I have ever read. Diane Langberg addresses and interweaves both topics well, providing advice for Christian therapists and other helpers for how they can rightly engage in struggling people's lives, manage their own pain from witnessing destruction in other people's lives, and process complicated questions related to power, narcissistic leadership, grief, sexual abuse, domestic violence, the physical impacts of trauma, and a variety of other issues.

Even though this is written in a clinical style, I would recommend it to any Christian who is interested in the topic, regardless whether or not they have a background in psychology or counseling. Langberg avoids using unexplained technical jargon, writes in a caring, direct way, and addresses a range of major social issues that people all throughout society and within the church are grappling with right now, regardless of their individual backgrounds.

This book is also a stand-out resource because of Langberg's attention to the experiences of abused men. Many books about abuse only focus on women, but Langberg shares case studies related to men and boys who have suffered from sexual abuse and other traumas, and she writes about domestic violence in a way that addresses the statistical realities of women's vulnerability while also clearly acknowledging that men can also be victims of all forms of abuse within the home. She handles this in a well-rounded, non-polemical way, giving attention to justice for everyone in statistical proportion to their vulnerability.

[Gretchen · Rating 5 out of 5]

After Chapter 3, Diane Langberg shares an incredible wealth of wisdom, application of scripture, and exhortation as she learned from the Lord while counseling. I just wish I could download and retain it all! It will definitely be an ongoing reference. It is written to the counselor and teaches how to counsel with the Lord's help and in His strength those who are suffering grief and trauma. You can't miss the realities of the cost of entering into suffering with others. The reality that we ourselves are still broken and sinful and desperately in need of Christ is woven throughout the book. With great care to see the work continue, Diane Langberg cares for the counselor through this book.

The first two chapters cast the light on the devastating evil around the world, in our homes and in our churches. Diane calls the reader to become burdened by the suffering and calls us to action. Those who are already greatly burdened by evil and its consequences might want to skip this.

[Amy Morgan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good. Grief. This book is thick. I could barely read a chapter per week because each one had so much to ponder. If I hadn’t already been studying trauma for a while, I might never have finished it.

That being said, this book is excellent (hence the stars). the beginning and end are especially powerful. In part one, Langberg lays out a conception of sin (as excrement) and suffering that is Scripturally rich. Part four is about care for the caregiver, and Langberg just shares priceless wisdom for the burnt out and secondarily traumatized.

Don’t skip the last chapter—weird title (Garbage City) but powerful metaphor for the transformational work God does in our lives and the lives of our clients.

[Hallie Carl · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can not recommend this book highly enough. When I first began reading it, I thought it would be helpful for any pastor or Christian counselor as they work with people who are dealing with suffering or trauma. Then, I felt like it would be good for any believer in Jesus because we are all called, as Christ followers to wade in to dark places and be a light for Christ. But now, after finishing it, I think it is also a book for someone who doesn’t have a relationship with Jesus to help them understand His heart for the suffering and evil in the world. So grateful for Diane Langberg and her wisdom from experience in writing this book. It is a treasure I will refer to often in the years to come.

[Krista · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’ve read a lot of books about trauma, and have a deep well of spiritual experience with God, so I was hoping this book would tie these things together better, but I couldn’t get past the third chapter because it sounded like every church sermon I’d ever heard. “God makes everything better, He is good, end of conversation.” It may be true, but it’s not very deep, or helpful. I quit this book for the same reason I quit many Christian books: the lack of depth. Maybe it gets better later, but I’d rather spend my time reading authors whose natural introspection and ability to question the so-called unquestionable (read: the things you actually question when you are traumatized) are more aligned with mine.

[Jeremy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I heard Dr. Langberg speak at a conference in San Antonio and was moved by her presence as much as her words. She has given her life to bearing with those who have suffered and continue to suffer trauma. This book is a rich resource for professionals and laypeople alike - in other words, the Church - in understanding how prevalent trauma is both inside and outside the church and how to come alongside them.

[Sandra Wassenaar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Diane freaking Langberg. Wow. If you want to grow your empathy bone for brothers and sisters and lost who have been wounded in a way that Jesus calls us to enter into, this read helps. A sobering yet hope filled book — praise Jesus that He Himself was wounded and still rose.

[Nate Walker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best book on counseling and trauma I have read. This woman is seriously fully of wisdom and compassion.