The Correct Order of Biscuits: And Other Meticulously Assembled Lists of Extremely Valuable Nonsense

by Adam Sharp

'There is a theory that humans made lists before we invented writing. Adam Sharp's exquisitely arranged, addictively witty book of lists is the reasons why. He is the poet laureate of lists' John Mitchinson, Senior QI Elf'So much to disagree with in this book. And I mean that as a huge recommendation' Richard Osman'Very funny and highly addictive. Adam Sharp, you weird genius' Russell KaneA list of ways to start a conversation with a cat in different countries5. Pss-pss-pss (England)4. Kac-kac-kac (Lithuania)3. Pish-pish-pish (Iran)2. Ming-ming-ming (Philippines)1. Bellowing "What's new pussycat, whoa, oh whoa" (Wales)Are you feeling down in the dumps? Is the chaotic, disordered nature of modern existence freaking you out? Are you feeling...listless? Then this collection of fascinating, hilarious and brilliantly odd lists is the remedy you need. Packed full of incredible facts, from what people say instead of cheese when they're taking a photo in Bulgaria, to what a platypus is called in Mandarin, everything under the sun is here. In order.

Genres: Nonfiction, Humor

192 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 17, 2020

About the author

Adam is originally from Manchester but
has also lived in London, Melbourne,
Sydney, Queensland, the Channel Islands,
the Canary Islands, Nashville, and
Newcastle-upon-Tyne (he’s not very good at
staying still).

Adam has had over thirty jobs (he’s not a very
loyal employee either). Some of the things
he’s been paid to do are as follows: teaching
sport in kindergartens, serving sandwiches in
casinos, catching footballs, juggling bottles,
washing dishes, reviewing music, changing
nappies, and walking on stilts.

Reviews

[Sarah Clement · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has literally made me laugh out loud (lol as we used to say but you know...it’s lost its meaning now I think “amongst the kids”) so many times, and I have literally had tears running down my fact. I frequently took pictures of the lists and sent them to friends. In fact, this book has helped me with one of my favourite past times as an immigrant...I.e. to get British people debating the important issues like the correct order of biscuits or the merits of slang from different eras or regions. You can really initiate passion amongst even your most reserved friends with a single list. Initiate more cry laughing. This book was everything I wanted and more than I expected it to be. It’s one you put on your coffee table (or in your loo or whatever...I won’t judge), and it will bring you joy every time you pick it up. If you enjoy agitating people with rankings, then it also brings this quality to the discussion. It’s a book you might let visitors read but you will definitely want to keep.

[Bokbabbel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mycket tudelad, för som den nörd jag är gillade jag listorna om olika språkliga uttryck runtom i världen och annat som var sant. Och lite humor är aldrig fel! Men det blev en för rörig kombination med de ”humoristiska” påhittade filmtitlarna etc. Så, hmm 🤷🏼‍♀️.

[Zoe · Rating 5 out of 5]

5. Highly entertaining nonsense
4. Fun trivia
3. Guaranteed laugh
2. Dip in and out
1. Lists

[Kieron Murphy · Rating 4 out of 5]

1. Funny.
2. Loads of room for debate!
3. Wish they'd used some full stops!

[Colin Garrow · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this wonderful little book, Adam Sharp passes on his obsession with lists in a hilarious collection of odd, bizarre, and mindboggling fun. From collective nouns such as A blessing of unicorns and A shroud of mysteries, to strange things sold on eBay, barber shop jokes and titles for celebrity memoirs, he displays a talent for comedy that is often sadly lacking in other so-called laugh-out-loud tomes. The author’s talent for puns, amusing expressions and even things that are illegal in certain countries (Holding a salmon in suspicious circumstances) had me giggling all the way through. This is not a book to read in a public place if you don’t want to attract odd looks – I often found myself guffawing loudly and at times almost in tears at Mr Sharp’s wit.

Definitely not a pretension of literary fiction, but rather, a hilarity of comedic invention. (I made that up, but he’s probably already thought of it.)

[Atoorva · Rating 5 out of 5]

Most delightful read - it can even brighten up ( no I am not exaggerating ) a Monday morning . You should pick it up because
5.It is full of valuable nonsense
4. Most of that nonsense makes good sense
3. It will talk about things that matter viz. lists , penguins and stuff.
2. You will discover the best songs written about sandwiches and such essential /life saving stuff
1. It will open your eyes to one of the most basic activity of qualifying as human ( viz. they make lists)

Warning : It will make you giggle , so rather not read it during funeral service/ at accident site/ during office meetings and such grim and gloomy occasions.

[Ekta Parekh · Rating 5 out of 5]

1. Lists
2. Random lists
3. Ridiculously random lists
4. Brilliant ridiculously random lists
5. Precious brilliant ridiculously random lists 😭

Definite pick-me-up on a blah day. The book combines my love for lists, puns and the weird; it doesn't get better than this. Quirky, fun and intelligent.

I hope there is a coffee-table collectible version of it in the works. Will re-read multiple times.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

An absolutely charming, well researched book that had me laughing out loud on pretty much every page. Adam also weaves a little of his own story throughout the pages, so it always feels that the lists are coming from a person rather than simply being there (even though that would be enough) which gives another level of depth. A really fun book!

[Jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Laugh-out-loud funny and just the kind of stupid list making humor I love.
All you Goodreads peeps out there: Gimme your Top 10 list of candy bars, in no particular order…and GO!
(by the way, this is a nearly 20 year old bet in our family to see if one item is in this list. I’ll let you know if you’re right or not 😉).

[Gordon Sharp · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful! Profound, ridiculous & thought provoking - well almost......

If you’ve ever made a list, and frankly who hasn’t, then this is one to read, browse or even skim & it will almost certainly change the way you make and look at lists forever.

Thanks Adam. Made me laugh & laugh.....

[Laura Besley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Five reasons why you should read "The Correct Order of Biscuits" by Adam Sharp (Trapeze, 2020):

1) it contains lists
2) the lists are great
3) the lists are funny
4) the lists are silly
5) the dedication list is beautiful

Read it - I dare you not to enjoy it!

[Rebecca Collins · Rating 5 out of 5]

What's not to like about lists and what's not to like about a quirky book about quirky lists, an obsession with list making and the poetry that can be found in lists? I could write a list as my review but I won't for a number of reasons:
1. See below
1a. It's already been done
2. See above

[Michael Ritchie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliantly silly, and peppered with little nuggets of trivia.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is lovely and silly and funny and entertained me for a whole evening while I read it from cover to cover.

[Leanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Poetry.

[Adam Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book of lists. But it's more than just a book of lists. It's a meticulously assembled collection of trivia, wordplay and silliness, and a delightful book to pick up.

[Liv · Rating 4 out of 5]

Didn't think I'd like a book of lists but this is silly, funny and speaks to the nerd in me who loves knowing weird and useless facts

[Ali Yildirim · Rating 5 out of 5]

L

[Jayne · Rating 5 out of 5]

A thoroughly silly book that had me lauging out loud ! I loved it

[miss c e rees · Rating 5 out of 5]

I bloody love Adam Sharp! Bought this for nearly everyone I know for Christmas, and they all now love him, too.

[neel · Rating 5 out of 5]

The kind of book that you want a physical copy of. I got one, made me happy.

[StephenWoolf · Rating 3 out of 5]

More than adequate toilet read.

[AL · Rating 3 out of 5]

It became redundant after 30% of the book , though is great for once in a while read when nothing else to do

[Caroline · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant. I never thought a book of lists could be so entertaining and funny until I read this. I especially enjoyed the list of possible names for a book club.

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

I came across Adam's lists via Twitter and bought this book at a talk he did for York's 2024 'Festival of Ideas'.

Good fun, particularly for any other linguists, or for folk who enjoy travelling.

[Aisha · Rating 5 out of 5]

For anyone who loves lists as much as Adam Sharp (and me), this book is rib-tickling, hilarious and as the title suggests - extremely valuable nonsense. I read a majority of this book on a two and a half hour flight with my father. Both of us were giggling like little school children (father is 65 and I am 35). It is perfect for boring situations and embarrassingly funny because one must expect chortles, snorts and giggles while reading it.

I would recommend it to List Lovers. Get this as a Christmas present for yourself if no one else will; it's definitely worth it.

[Abi Pellinor · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a gift from a friend and I think it's great as a "stocking filler" type of gift. Pages and pages filled with lists that are primarily silly and nonsensical. It's a bit of fun, even if it's clear that the lists have been taken from Sharp's Twitter account and reformatted on the page.

I read this book all in one go, but I think it would be better served as a loo book that you pick up and randomly flick to a page every once in a while. Something that isn't as common in this day and age of mobile phones, but would be a bit of fun!

[Highlyeccentric · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is difficult to explain why I paid for an audiobook of what is, basically, tweet threads. But I did and I enjoyed it. Good background noise. Whole book elevated by the fact that the "About the author" is given in lists as well.