Initial reaction: Yeah, I regret finishing this unrealistic, wannabe AU "Revenge" fanfic riddled with glaring editorial errors, unrealised characters, and textbook cliches of the genre. Full review and discussion to come.
Full review:
Reviewer's Note: For this review, I decided to do one of my usual poetic reviews to illustrate the problems of this narrative, with some helpful inserts from yours truly along with the cast of characters from Rellik. I do not own these characters, this is just a parody reflection set for the purposes of critique. I do not claim responsibility for any character that may be harmed in the process of this reflection. *coughs*
EDIT: I actually did buy this ebook from Amazon, and I did end up getting a refund for it because I didn't like it. Understatement. To say a few notes about the book before the poetic reflection, this book was not ready for primetime, not at all. I made over 100 highlights in my Kindle copy alone for spelling, homophone, and grammatical errors. That's a lot to be asking someone to pay $4 (including tax) for what's supposed to be a polished copy. I don't care if this came from an SP author or someone from a publishing house or whomever - it needed more editing than this. Not cool.
Progression wise, the story was all over the place - it starts off being kind of typical NA bad boy jerk in a band falling for a damaged heroine with both of them running away from their "tragic" pasts, but then it becomes a convoluted revenge story that hinges on instalust and spontaneous dramatic reveals for secrets and shock value. After a certain point, I just stopped caring, because it was so ridiculous and implausible. And the ending felt tacked on just to have a resolution in place. Yes, this is a "messed up" story, but that's no reason to have a horribly messy telling of said story, and I would like to open the floor as to its many, many problems. YMMV.
"Rellik's Lament" - featuring Rose and the cast of "Rellik"
Rose: *strums lute*
Rellik: Seriously, you're bringing that in here? What is this?
Rose: You would do well not to berate anyone based on what instruments they play. Now hush your quibbling and sing.
Rellik: Woman, if you didn't notice, this song's titled "Rellik's Lament" - that's me. This is my story.
Rose: Yep, and there's your ego talking. Look, you - I'm the one holding the lute. Don't test me.
Rellik: *snorts* Fine.
I'm more monster than man with blood on my hands,
A life taken 'way from other's demands.
I have to say that this is all of my fault,
As my consciousness fades to the asphalt.*
Fast forward to the present, and it's plain to see
I've slept my way through every lass and lady,
But these able girls just wouldn't do
With the storm in my head beginning to brew.
I hang with the boys, we're without certain joys
Our names hold the weight of our pain.**
I see a woman's struggles from a leech who doesn't quit
But then I look into her eyes and think "Oh, sh*t!"***
Ella:
Just a girl strolling through with a tragic past,
Who doesn't know how long this ordeal will last.
While I didn't ask Rellik to bear my strife,
He beats my attacker to an "inch of his life."
Rellik: What? The moron had his hands all over her. I don't see the problem.
My knuckles bear blood, her lips tremble,
At the sight of the man's face, swollen and full.
The trouble I am, she's seen just a taste,
But yet she still invites me over to her place.
Yeah, her place is a hotel; it all turned out well
Seems like we'd have a night of fun.
But just after sex, pointed straight at my pecs
Is the same angry woman, holding a gun.
Ella:
I went through his wallet, could plainly see
He wasn't the man I thought him to be.
He pulls the gun closer, says to shoot if I dare,
But then he tackles me down like he doesn't care.
I manage to escape into the night, afraid for my life,
He stalks behind me like it's no strife.
And just when I think I've left his trainwreck
He's choking me with a hold on my neck.****
*still writing*
* Opening scene of the book shows Rellik actually carrying his former lover's dead body and everyone presumes he had something to do with her death. Like he'd killed her and they couldn't prove it. He collapses shortly after that prologue scene.
** His posse has names that symbolize certain trials they've been through. Rellik's name is Killer backward. Hangman has an imprint of a noose around his neck. There are others, but I can't remember.
*** The girl he encounters looks a lot like the woman he used to know, y'know, the one who's dead. Her story is in Ella's perspective.
**** Dude, if this is supposed to be some kind of romance, it failed miserably. I was scared to death of the scene between Rellik and Ella after this. Would be one thing if this was a thriller and Rellik was a definite bad dude, but am I supposed to believe this guy's romantic when he calls her name in a sing-song voice and nearly chokes her at one point? I think not. I was also thoroughly confused as to how these two knew each other at first, but it came clearer as the story went on. Still scared the crud out of me though.