Ballad of a Sober Man: An ER Doctor's Journey of Recovery

by J.D. Remy

2020 Best Memoir Award, BIBAA successful emergency physician full of narcissism and ego wakes up in detox, his life having burned to the ground. Dr. J.D. Remy—physician, father, husband, and medical missionary—awakens one morning to find himself in rehab for alcoholism. His destructive behavior has resulted in the loss of his marriage, children, career—and almost—his life. Faced with the challenges of rebuilding a foundation, Dr. Remy must accept that he is an alcoholic and summon the courage to tame the demons that caused such dire circumstances. Over time, he makes new connections in sobriety and rekindles friendships from his former life. With the aid of old friends and his new sober network, he navigates his program as a professional in long-term recovery. He must overcome unemployment, a devastating divorce, the estrangement of his children, social stigma, and the coronavirus outbreak. Armed with the gift of desperation, a strong twelve-step program, and his recovery “mosh-pit,” he learns to accept and let go, confronting the worst of his character flaws to emerge on the other side as a better version of himself. Ballad of a Sober Man is a raw and realistic memoir of one man’s difficult journey through recovery, as he interacts with an eclectic cast of characters, finds romance in a brave new world, and battles a global pandemic…

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Mental Health, Biography

335 pages, Paperback

Published October 6, 2020

About the author

Dr. J.D. Remy has been a practicing emergency physician since 1995. Born in New York City, he and his sister were raised in the suburbs of New Jersey by their mother and stepfather. After graduating medical school in Washington DC, he completed an emergency medicine residency in Baltimore and has since worked full-time in several emergency departments througout the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia. During his career he has served as medical director for local EMS agencies, president of his hospital’s medical staff, and has led five medical missions to Haiti from 2010 to 2015. In his spare time, he enjoys running and playing acoustic guitar.

He works his recovery from alcoholism every day.

He is father to a daughter and two sons, whom he loves dearly.

Reviews

[♏ Gina☽ · Rating 5 out of 5]

As the child of an alcoholic father, this book definitely drew to my attention - plus, I read a lot of true medical stories as my son has a lot of health issues.

First of all, I congratulate Dr. J.D. Remy for having the bravery to come clean with everything in this book. I hope that others who are facing an addiction battle find hope that it can be overcome by reading this book. For myself, I never touch alcohol. You always hear about how children of alcoholics tend to become addicts themselves, and that scared me half to death as I had a first row seat to the downward spiral of alcoholism, and it's not pretty. I never saw the happy party goer drunks, I saw the complete physical and mental breakdown of a man who was once called "brilliant" struggle to say the alphabet straight.

That being said, J.D. Remy, fortunately fought a hard - but ultimately successful - battle with alcohol, the legal drug that causes so much heartache and death in this country. Unfortunately, it cost him dearly - his family, his career, his reputation, and nearly his life. My dad never got that wake up call and it did cost him his life eventually. Oddly, it had nothing to do with his liver, but it had everything to do with his brain and stomach.

If you have a family member showing signs of alcoholism, if you, yourself have even the slightest doubt about having a problem, I urge you to do two things: seek professional help and read this book. It just may save your life.

[Curt Osborne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dr. Remy is a good story teller and a smart man, and I wish he had stuck with honest and forthright story telling until the end of the book, especially given the subject matter. As so many memoirs do, this one starts strong and remains strong for 2/3 of the book and then devolves into attempted poetry and fuzzy vagaries and bad creative writing. In this case, I suspect those writing devices were used to tie up loose ends, to meet deadlines and to avoid a full exposition of the issues and truths that underlie the state of his life today. I won't get into specifics so as not to spoil the story, but I'm left with with more questions than answers at the end of the book.

All of that said, some great writing in this book and some hilarious anecdotes, and some excellent writing about recover and sobriety and the AA program.

[Jill · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Ballad of a Sober Man" is so riveting that I had to finish it within hours of picking it up.

Yes, Dr Remy may be a board-certified E.R. physician, but he is also a prolific storyteller. This man can write!

I HIGHLY recommend this book to those who are in recovery, and/or to those who have a loved one or friend dealing with alcoholism. It's wonderful to see the humanity behind the disease.

This gist of this memoir is that Dr. Joe finds himself, at age 49, "morally bankrupt" and "deep in spiritual debt." In the first few chapters, we meet him as he's "voluntold" into a psychiatric hospital to detox from chronic alcohol abuse. From there, we get front-row seats into his path to recovery and watch him go through rehab, four sponsors and a nasty divorce.

As he works his program, we watch his resentments fade and his ego soften. He is able to open up and connect to others, showing his vulnerability. In the rooms, Dr. Joe finds his new village -- or what he calls his mosh pit. And they help him face his profound grief and demons in order to get healthy again.

Thanks to Joe's sober network, his sober living home and job as well as his 12-step program, he gains back his confidence. And to his surprise, he gets his job back in the E.R. He also improves his bedside manner and ability to become more present with his patients. After all, it's easier to make human connections when you are in service to others and turn your self-hate into self-love.

How did he get sober? Joe told a group of newcomers at a meeting: "I stopped relying on myself."

Go on and grab a copy of this book.


Special thanks to Girl Friday Productions, via NetGalley, for an electronic copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

[James Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

interesting insight

Enjoyed the book and found the insight insightful to discover that professionals have a different and longer treatment for alcoholism. There are some definite cliff hangers in the story!

[Erica Franco · Rating 5 out of 5]

A raw and honest look at a man fighting his way back from the depths of addiction. Dr. Remy is very brave for putting his story out there and showing us that this disease can affect anyone. He was very fortunate in that he was able to receive appropriate care (10 weeks in rehab!), but it makes me think about all the addicts who probably pass through his ER and have little chance of getting better because they are not equipped with the same resources. While this is a book about addiction, it's really more about the journey to recovery than the downward spiral. In fact, we don't even learn about Implosion Day (rock bottom) until the very end. Overall, I found the book uplifting and was surprised to learn most of the lessons preached in AA are useful concepts even for those not suffering from addiction. Dr. Remy is a talented writer and he successfully lays out his truth in a humble and thoughtful way, while managing not to take himself too seriously and maintaining a sense of humor. Thank you Goodreads Giveaway for the chance to read and review this book.

[Amber Showalter · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a redemption story. Not a dig-up-the-dirt-on-me story. Not a watch-me-fall-into-the-darkest-pit-of-despair story. A redemption story. Remy takes us on a journey from the bottom up. He chronicles his journey through the maze of recovery from alcoholism with twists and turns, loves and losses but mostly with triumph. Each chapter is a time capsule within itself, taking us deep into the past and back again to show us how each moment of our lives gets us to HERE. We meet many characters along the way, some frequently, some fleetingly, showing us that our paths crossing others' even just once in our lives is no accident, but that serves a bigger purpose in this journey of life. Embodying the notion that once you hit rock bottom, there is nowhere to go but up, Remy takes our hand and guides us through his redemption tale, and only when we are ready, does he show us the very bottom of the pit that we just journeyed with him out of. A must-read for medical professionals, anyone struggling with addiction and anyone who needs confirmation that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

[Erica Reynolds · Rating 5 out of 5]

Let me start off by welcoming you with open arms as an AA brother. I just so happen to look on my kindle one day and saw this downloaded. NetGalley doesn’t always send books to my kindle. As we know “God does for us, what we cannot do for ourselves”. So I dug in....... As a young woman from Pennsylvania with a few years of sobriety,I was able to live with you through your story. What an amazing person you are and continue to be living day by day with afflictions that will be overcome. I write this review during a crazy pandemic that we will never forget and as well as the possibility that I may have contracted the virus. A very good sobering read. I as many others look forward to a “sequel “ or continuation if you will of your new life and how you are doing if one day at a time. Joe is an inspiration to all of us in and out of the rooms.

[Kassy Neeley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written book about an awfully and life destroying drug

This book was so insightful, thought provoking, and helped a fellow alcoholic understand exactly why we struggle to stay sober. I could not live a more opposite life. As a stay at home Catholic mother, I was still able to recognize every emotion he described. I may not have gotten to this point of drinking rubbing alcohol. I did however see that if I continued down that path, I would lose the most important people in my life. Realizing this before I hit that point of no return doesn’t make me better or worse that anyone else who struggles with addiction. We are all merely humans trying to live one day at a time.

Thank you for such a raw and honest telling of your story!

[Raisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a raw, often painful account of alcoholic addiction and the costs it incurs. Dr. Remy takes you through his life, starting with his success as an Emergent Room physician, and his downfall into a struggle with addiction that nearly destroyed his life. This novel is a well-written account of one mans journey through the pitfalls of alcoholism, rehab, and ultimately his come-up as well.

I would recommend this book to anyone who is interested in the struggles with addition and alcoholism. It has an unique spin in that it’s written by a doctor, which I enjoyed.

Thank you to NetGalley for providing me with this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Mary Quain · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a candid and humble account of one doctor's descent into and recovery from alcoholism--including all the warts and bumps along the way. Though alcoholics and their loved ones each have distinct experiences, their stories share common, universal truths about the disease. I think those are what make the book so relatable for anyone who is or knows an alcoholic. Skilled writing makes the book highly readable, offering valuable insights for those who have been spared and hope for those still struggling.

I couldn't really call this book an enjoyable read. However, the education it provides gives it importance in the real world.

[Penny Johnson · Rating 4 out of 5]

A Man’s Journey of Recovery

I cannot begin to imagine what this man went through to gain sobriety, to gain his life back. It seems to have been extremely painful, very quick, and very long, and yet I agonized for him for his kids. I am Jewish also. I do not see this as a way to be Jewish. Where was the Rabbi? But the doctor, the kids, the family. He did everything right, after he did everything wrong. I pray that he keeps with his program that he keeps making his life stronger, letting God make his life stronger and I really pray for those kids. They really need guidance. La Chaim!

[Denise J, Riley · Rating 5 out of 5]

A product of an alcoholic father, Aunts,and ,uncles

T









I was a child of an alcoholic father, great grandfather, Aunts and uncles... I am approaching 70 & still learning
This book had many shake my head moments. So many empathy moments. My hope is that he is doing well, has had visitations with his children and has found a safe routine with family and friends to complete his recovery.My prayers go with him. Thank you for being candid.


rating was given for the pure emotion in his writing, for his honesty, for being human.

[Cassandra · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don’t ever want to diminish a story on sobriety but this was a tough one to get through. Lots of rambling through random stories and not enough about the story behind the title. I also found myself cringing multiple times as he described the way women looked. It gave off a vibe and not a pleasant one. All they said he did have some insightful thoughts towards the end which bumped this up to a 3-star for me.

[Nadia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I take care of alcoholics on a day to day basis. I know how hard is in trying to better oneself and not indulge in self-pity. I am amazed to have read Ballad of a sober man. Not only does J.D tell his story but it’s amazing to see how he has overcome his addiction. It’s hard wanting to give up an addiction and get through it.

[Gail O'Connor · Rating 2 out of 5]

The memoir started out so well .I read 25% of the book and I kept waiting for it to get more interesting. Was so tired of the people he talked with. I finally put the book down. I'm sure others will love it.

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was a good in the sense that the program works, but it still seemed a little arrogant to me. We never heard his real story in the trenches that led him to get the help. In fact he told more about others on the battlefield at times than his own personal account.

[Barbara Harrison · Rating 5 out of 5]

Have a tissue handy on the two days it will take to read this well-written, compelling YA memoir and AA procedural which has tips for all of us going through hard times and tempted by less-than-healthy activities. I won a copy in a Goodreads giveaway, and this is my voluntary review.

[mrs m a clarke · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good read, I struggled to get into the first few chapters and left it as a work in progress for a few months. ultimately it's a very good and helpful look into the dangers and real costs of drinking.

[Best Indie Book Award · Rating 5 out of 5]

🏆 2020 BIBA Memoir Winner!

[Michael · Rating 5 out of 5]

I never had the DT's when I decided to stop drinking, but reading this book, has helped me see how much I used alcohol as an answer, to too many questions. This book hit me very close to home.

[patricia murray · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good read.

Unwavering in honesty. A clear and detailed view of living with alcoholism and recovery. Thinking it muddy have taken some degree of courage to write.

[Janne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good read..enjoyed

[Brent Murphy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just read it in two days, for the second time. One of the best books I’ve ever read on addiction and recovery. Highly recommended.

[sarah harrison · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book lived up to my expectations after following Dr Remy on Twitter.

I would say being in recovery it opened my eyes to the gals in my recovery journey and gave me hope to strengthen my own.

I got confused slightly when the story went from present day to earlier in his life. Maybe it’s just me.

I would recommends this to anyone who struggles with addiction or who want an insight to the journey of recovery.