Elf Defence

Adventures in Aguillon #2

by Lisa Henry, Sarah Honey

Royal envoys Calarian and Benji embark on a quest in the alpine duchy of Tournel. Things go rapidly downhill when the duke plummets to his death from the tower wall. Whoops—that's going to be hard to explain. And it’s not as though they can just grab the nearest human and make him the new duke.

Or can they?

Enter one Lars Melker, a slightly gullible cowherd built entirely of muscles and sunshine, who happily accepts their word when they tell him he’s the duke now.

Soon Calarian and Benji are knee deep in teaching Lars how to fake it until he makes it. They're also dealing with mountain trolls, a monster, a missing cow, and, most shocking of all, a growing realisation that their elves-with-benefits arrangement might be turning into something with feelings.

Add in their mutual attraction to Lars, and suddenly the hills are alive with the sound of emotionally compromised collectivist anarchist elves.

Also, what’s the deal with those leather shorts?

Genres: Fantasy, Romance, M M Romance, Humor, Audiobook, LGBT, Queer

230 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 22, 2020

About the author

I like to tell stories. Mostly with hot guys and happily ever afters. They gotta work for it though. No free lunches on my watch.

Reviews

[Heather K (dentist in my spare time) · Rating 3 out of 5]

*3.5 stars*

When life gets you stressed, I think the best medicine is a light, fluffy polyamory book with kinky gay elves and a clueless cowherd. Or so I've been told...

Elf Defence is another delightful book in the Adeventures in Aguillon series, though I recommend reading Red Heir first in order to understand this book better. It doesn't work well as a stand-alone.

Funny? Yes.
Cute? Yes.
A successful romance? Not really.

I think Elf Defence will make you smile and charm you, especially if you like irreverent, light-hearted fantasy, but as a M/M/M romance, it was lacking. I wanted Lars's POV, and without it, I just got two elves that sort of fell into a romance with a human, almost by accident. It didn't work well as a romance, IMO, though I really, really wanted it to.

I also think the book would have been better as a novella, which is something I rarely say. It felt a bit long for a plot that was very, very thin. It ended up dragging for me in the middle, though it recovered by the end.

I'll certainly be moving on with the series, but I'm hoping the romance will be more developed in the next book.

*Copy provided in exchange for an honest review*

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[Snjez · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was just as ridiculous and entertaining as the first book. It was exactly the type of light and fun read I was in the mood for and there are many things about this story that I really enjoyed:

- the characters
- the humor
- the storyline
- the beautiful alpine village of Tournel
- quirky citizens of Tournel
- another silly quest

I absolutely adored Benji in this one. He is hilarious. The relationship between Benji, Calarian and Lars was kind of sweet. The romantic part of the story is quite simplistic and most of it happens off page, but I was actually more than happy with that.

5 stars for the audiobook. Nick J. Russo is one of my favourite narrators and I think he did a fantastic job bringing the characters and the humor to life. Mountain trolls included.

[Lisa Henry]

Yes, Sarah and I did a thing!

If you guys have any questions about this utterly ridiculous sequel to the utterly ridiculous Red Heir, here's the place to ask!

[Claudie ☾ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Every bit as ridiculous and enjoyable as the prequel. The humor won’t be to everyone’s liking — I repeat, ridiculous — but it was just what I needed.

[True Loveislovereview · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oops, accidentally there goes the Duke... down the parapet... dead!
The first man Calarian and Benji run into they ‘crowns’ him as Duke of Tournel.
Oh, he’s beautiful and attractive both elves are smitten by Lars.

The citizen of Tournel are in distress they are attacked by trolls or was it the monster, or?
Anyway, Lars has to solve all of Tournel’s problems!
There is a boycotter, who wants to push Lars off his Duke’s throne.

Elves have a one-way mind with sex. It’s like their world depends on it.
Benji and Calarian have a strictly Elves With Benefits arrangement. Why does Benji behave so strange now Lars is with them.

“If you’re going to burn something down, you should at least think about what to replace it with.” Ahh isn’t that wisdom!

All three finally agreed they will fuck each other into tomorrow, only every time they almost got there, something else comes up, ugh!
Then, finally ha! Even for elves, it was earthshaking!
Only, they have no idea how committed relationships work. But they do know how to rescue the other when needed and take care of them, that should count!

“Either Benji had just had an epiphany, or the back of his head had exploded because kissing was amazing.”

All the characters are a bit silly, a bit simplistic at first sight, maybe at second sight too, but don’t judge a book by its cover, or here you should, the cover is as amazing as its content!
Read this book yourself I can highlight every page because everything is joyful, delightful!!
It’s a lighthearted story, with some clever messages, extremely entertaining, humorous, or even more hilarious, I laughed out loud! Splendidly written narrative!

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars! This book was even better than the first in the series. I was laughing from the start, and it honestly never let up. Benji and Calarian were so much fun, and all the unfortunate mishaps they got into made for a delightfully joyful fantasy romp. I liked Lars well enough, but do wish we had gotten the chance to see things from his POV, as I never truly felt like we got to know him. Overall a very fun sequel with an amazing cast and a guarantee to put a smile on everyone’s faces.

[M'rella · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is the longest book by Lisa Henry I have ever read. And I don’t mean pages. It should have stopped after the cave rescue. And even that could have been squeezed into 20 pages or so.

Despite the funny bits (which after time became repetitive and boring) and my worshipping the Blacksmith Goddess, it was hard to read for more than 5-6 pages at a time. I can count maybe be 3 or 4 scenes that carried me through for a bit, but the lulls in between were brutal.

And here we go again with “slow and stupid”. Lars may be naïve and simple... ugh - uncomplicated, but not everyone can be a shrewd elf, whose mind is permanently stuck in burning everything down (is it some subtle reference to "L'Internationale"?… considering Benji’s political views), communism and communal sex. Oh, and gingerbread overindulgence.

[Erin · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was a bit disappointed with this book and it took me a while to get through it for that reason. While it had a similar sense of humor as the first book, Red Heir, this installment just didn't hit quite the right note for me. I think what it comes down to is the characters. Loth and Quinn's dynamic just work so much better - Loth's inability to stop being an ass except for those tender moments where his compassion shines through for Quinn paired with Quinn's initial frustration that turns into playing along with the jokes and his burgeoning sense of confidence are something I can get emotionally invested in.

In contrast, Benji and Calarian are built in such a way that genuine caring feelings are few and far between and when they do develop, doesn't feel very natural or sincere. Both suffer from that insufferable writing style/trope of thinking ...because I care about him. What? Why did I think that? I HATE that. Throwing in Big Buff Sincere Dumb but Smart Lederhosen Guy didn't help. In fact, I thought it made the relationship even more of a reach. The three of them felt forced and I wasn't able to like or be invested in any of their happiness the way I was in Loth and Quinn.

The most enjoyable part of the story for me was everyone's instant worship of the big buff blacksmith lady. I can get behind that!

[Lillian Francis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny and irreverent but with masses of feelings. I loved the references to DnD and Benji spouting Monty Python-esque, anti-establishment sentiments at every given opportunity.
Lars is a sweetheart and fits with the lads perfectly, making each a better elf.
Gingerbread, a singing nun, and manic geese. It's a wild ride.

Oh and we get to see Dave again. I love Dave. His and Simon's story next please.

[eri b.❀ · Rating 3 out of 5]

This relationship business was getting weirder and weirder by the minute.

This was such a fun, silly read! Ah, I had been quite stressed about exams and whatnot, so this book came as a breath of fresh air. I laughed out loud so many times, this was such a fun and cute read and it was exactly what I needed at this moment. There were some ~romantic parts and a little bit of social commentary presented in humour, and they built up well with the rest of the story. I do wish we could have known Lars better though, but all my love for Benji definitely made up for how little we got to know Lars.

"Well, how was I supposed to know that advocating loudly for regicide in the streets would ever come back and haunt me?"

I just. Really loved Benji.

The whole polyamory thing didn't work a lot for me, mostly because we barely knew about Lars. Maybe if he had gotten a pov it would have been better. Also, I find it quite uncomfortable the amount of social commentary this book has, including race commentary, and how lacking diversity it is. Even if this is mostly a humouristic narrative, it shouldn't be an afterthought, I think.

Still, I enjoyed this book and it definitely filled its purpose, for which I'm very grateful! I hope we can still see more adventures of these guys in the future.

[Leo · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. More enjoyable than the first one but my absolute favorite is still the 3rd and the last. Perhaps good thing that I started in the wrong way but still a cute series would like to read more like it. Glad I continued with the series and not just for the completion reasons

[Ami · Rating 2 out of 5]

Boy, this one was dull. I didn't find it either funny nor entertaining. Benji's attitude tired me. And the whole M/M/M thing didn't work because I didn't feel that Lars added anything to Benji and Calarian's relationship.

I read this only because everyone mostly raving about the third book (and I liked the first one) so I wanted to find out about this before reading Dave's book.

[Kassu · Rating 4 out of 5]

4-⭐

I enjoy these ridiculous elves failing at anarchy but I felt this story wasn't quite as strong as the first one. We get the POVs from both elves but not Lars's, and in the end he does feel a bit like a supporting character instead of a main one. Though I like him, and especially his cows. (When I was a kid I had a thing for cows - not the kind that is a constant joke in this series, but like collecting figurines etc.) I was also a bit disappointed in the almost non-explicit sex scenes here. I was expecting more smut from these sex-crazed elves. Still, I was entertained well.

[llv · Rating 3 out of 5]

Elf Defence by Lisa Henry & Sarah Honey

Rating: 3 stars
I didn’t quite like this one as much as I did “Red Heir”. I found Benji and Calarian to be a bit annoying in large doses. That said, there were some really funny bits. I loved seeing Dave again. He makes me smile every time. I also now have a serious craving for gingerbread. All in all, it was good just not great.

[Romanticamente Fantasy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nayeli - per RFS
.
Si tratta di un libro molto divertente, ironico, quasi surreale, che gioca con le stranezze e le incongruenze dovute a due elfi che si ritrovano in missione in un ducato di umani senza prendere nulla sul serio.

I personaggi, anche quelli secondari, hanno caratterizzazioni molto forti e caricaturali, che quindi suscitano ilarità, ma senza risultare eccessive e ridondanti.

Personaggi che si prendono poco sul serio, nonostante la situazione drammatica in cui si trovano: la loro missione inizia con la morte tragicomica del duca che dovevano aiutare, e da lì una serie di situazioni sempre più strane, goffe e divertenti, spesso provocate da loro stessi, che si vanno ad accumulare una sull’altra come una valanga fino alla risoluzione finale.

«Dai, dobbiamo andare a salvarlo.» Calarian si gettò i capelli sulle spalle in modo drammatico. «È nostro dovere.»
«Lo è?» chiese Benji. Non ricordava di aver accettato di buttarsi a capofitto nel pericolo. E anche se lo avesse fatto, aveva cambiato idea.
Calarian sbuffò e batté un piede con impazienza. «Non possiamo scoparlo se è morto,» disse e, dannazione, aveva ragione.
(Tratto dal libro)

Benji è un elfo rivoluzionario, ha redatto un manifesto anarchico collettivista e ha l’utopia di abbattere il potere dei regimi autoritari favorendo l’insurrezione del proletariato in modo che possa autogestirsi. Tutt’altro che un nerd intellettuale, però, perché se è vero che è un asociale, altezzoso e idealista, è altrettanto vero che il suo pensiero principale è rivolto al sesso libero, a ogni ora e in ogni luogo. È una macchietta, con le sue continue battutine a sfondo sessuale e il suo spregio per gli “stupidi umani”.

Forse non amava solo le sue prese in giro? Forse amava anche l’elfo? Sbatté le palpebre a quel pensiero folle. No, non aveva senso. Gli elfi non provavano sentimenti e Benji sicuramente non lo avrebbe apprezzato. L’amore, a meno che non fosse amore libero, era possessivo e gli anarchici collettivisti non credevano al possesso. Lui credeva che nessun individuo dovesse possedere il cuore di qualcun altro più di quanto qualsiasi individuo dovesse possedere i mezzi di produzione.
(Tratto dal libro)

Caladrian, anche se si definisce un ottimo stratega, in realtà combina un guaio dopo l’altro. È più razionale di Benji, più serio, e spesso lo trattiene nei suoi eccessi irriverenti, ma allo stesso tempo è goffo, incapace di trovare buone soluzioni, e non è esattamente un leader.

Benji sembrava sempre meno omicida al mattino, e ci volle tutta la sua forza di volontà per non arruffargli i capelli scompigliati e baciargli la punta del naso, ma anche Lars era lì, e lui voleva arruffare i capelli anche al ragazzo. Era tutto molto confuso. Alla fine, non arruffò niente a nessuno.
(Tratto dal libro)

Per fortuna ad affiancarli c’è Lars, un umano a caso che i due elfi hanno individuato al volo come sostituto del duca deceduto.

Questo ragazzone bellissimo, generoso, tenero, dalla mente semplice ma con molto buon senso, passa dal fare il pastore al cimentarsi in un ruolo di leadership e di potere, mettendosi alla prova senza nemmeno volerlo.

«Okay,» concordò. «È interessante però, vero? Dove sono i confini? È in realtà molto arbitrario. Come bere il latte, bene. Succhiarlo direttamente dalla mucca, disgustoso. E questo senza considerare che la povera mucca è del tutto oppressa e in realtà non ha voce in capitolo se vuole o meno darti il latte. No? Chi lo sa? Qualcuno glielo ha mai chiesto?» E poi, tanto per fare un po’ lo stronzetto, aggiunse: «Scommetto che Lars succhia direttamente dalla mucca. Sembra il tipo.» Calarian spalancò gli occhi. «Lui non lo fa! Ama le sue mucche! E non in quel modo!» aggiunse frettolosamente quando lui aprì bocca.
(Tratto dal libro)

Inutile dire che tra i tre protagonisti si instaura una liaison, vuoi per la scioltezza di linguaggio di Benji che non si vergogna di chiedere quello che desidera, vuoi perché gli elfi sono naturalmente disinibiti anche riguardo alle relazioni poliamorose, vuoi per la semplicità e la naturalezza con cui Lars vive la vita ed evita di farsi problemi quando non ce ne sono.

Il romanticismo è poco presente, ma non mancano frasi a effetto che scaldano il cuore. Per quanto ci possano essere momenti teneri, questi vengono riportati immediatamente verso il goliardico, a toni più frivoli, al sesso libero.

«Odeleyeeeoo,» farfugliò Calarian, e Benji fu sorpreso ancora una volta da un’ondata di affetto nei confronti dell’elfo. Ah, giusto. I sentimenti. Adesso erano una cosa che avevano. Sbatté le palpebre verso il soffitto mentre cercava di adattarsi al concetto di avere un attaccamento emotivo. Ci sarebbe voluto un po’ di lavoro.
(Tratto dal libro)

Per quanto la sfera sessuale permei la storia, la lettura è adatta comunque a tutti, perché non si entra molto nel vivo dei dettagli erotici; rimane quindi una lettura leggera, divertente, piacevolmente dinamica con una trama ben strutturata e che evolve in tappe progressive concatenate una con l’altra, in sviluppi che richiedono sempre nuovi sviluppi prima di arrivare al finale.

Chiude il cerchio una serie di personaggi secondari altrettanto colorati e accentuati, che abbelliscono e colorano la storia aggiungendo scene carine e spiritose.

Una vicenda che si legge bene, velocemente, sempre col sorriso sulle labbra.

E poi, quando Calarian si unì, rise e si afflosciò anche contro di lui. «C’è qualcosa che dobbiamo dirti, Benji,» dichiarò Lars, gli occhi azzurri spalancati.
«Che i mezzi di produzione dovrebbero essere nelle mani degli operai?» chiese, sbattendo le palpebre. «Perché è quello che sto dicendo fin dall’inizio!»
Calarian alzò gli occhi al cielo. «No, idiota!» «È che noi ti amiamo,» disse Lars.
«Ah!»
(Tratto dal libro)

[Mir · Rating 3 out of 5]

Taking two of my favourite characters from the hilarious first story and plopping them into this incredibly boring story was not my favourite thing.

I don’t really have much good or bad to say. It wasn’t as funny as the first, there certainly was zero romance, the sex scenes were fade to black, and the plot was boring.

Honestly, the first chapter was the best of the entire book. It was also surprisingly PG-13 for such kinky, dirty elves that fuck all the time.

I would read more in the series but if it was similar to this one, I’d probably DNF it.

[Lois - Who Reads · Rating 3 out of 5]

Completely silly and over the top and exactly what I needed. Calarian and Benji embark on a new quest, and unsurprisingly, they mess up so many things. They mean well, but they just can’t figure out how to stay out of trouble. Add Lars to the mix, an adorable and slightly dim self-appointed Duke, and the trouble quickly piles up.

There are so many dick jokes, really odd names for sex positions, cows, gingerbread, and amazing women. This one had me laugh snorting all the way through. I would recommend this one when you need a good giggle.

[Marilisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

“To be fair,” Benji said as Duke Klaus of Tournel plummeted down the side of the tower and hit the ground with a sickening splat, “that was mostly gravity's fault.”

Calarian leaned over the edge of the tower and inspected the impact zone far, far below. He wrinkled his nose in distaste. “This is a terrible beginning to this quest!” 

Calarian and Benji embark on a quest to rid Tournel of mountain trolls, but oops, as soon as they get there the Duke goes splash and they find themselves in a pickle. Why not making the first guy that walks by the next Duke? What could possibly go wrong?

Elf Defence is the second book in an incredibly hilarious series and it was the exact type of light read I was looking for.

I particularly adored Benji and his convictions, he was so irreverent and funny, like the whole book, such a fresh breath in the genre.

While I really loved Benji and Calarian, I only liked Lars. He was fine and all, but not getting his perspective makes him seem more of an outsider than he actually is, so for me the poly romance didn’t work 100%, but to be completely honest I wasn’t in this for the romance, but for the overall ridiculousness, so I didn’t mind (I know, shocking!).

Nick J Russo did an amazing job narrating the audiobook, delivering all the irony in a perfect way.

If you’re looking for an hilarious, slightly ridiculous fantasy romance read, this series is perfect for you, but make sure you start from the first book, or nothing will make sense ;)

[Vicki · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a fun MMM read.

I feel in love with this wonderfully written book from the very first sentence.
I laughed so much at the antics of the 3 likeable main characters.
Calarian and Benji accidentally find themselves on another adventure after convincing Lars that he is the next Duke of Tournel after the untimely death of the previous Duke.
What follows next is an hilarious tale that includes mountain trolls running from a monster, cows, a feisty goose, appearances from the Sound of Music and the copious consumption of gingerbread. Not to forget the steamy, heated scenes and elves experiencing feelings for the very first time.
There’s a amazing cast of main and secondary characters that come to life due to the wonderful world building and story telling ability of these two authors.
This is a very engaging enjoyable read that had me laughing and smiling from the very start.

[Shelby · Rating 4 out of 5]

This series is so absurd and over the top ridiculous, but at the same time it's charming as hell. This story just kept me amused and smiling throughout. I mean you have Maria and the von Trapp's frolicking through the hills in the background joined by an old friend, a certain orc we like.

Of course the whole point of this is Calarian and Benji figuring out that they have, oh my god shock...feelings for each other. And not just each other but Lars, the new cowherd they just met and incidentally made into a duke. These two seem to just stumble into trouble and also into the solution. I love Benji's anarchy tendencies and his love of gingerbread. I enjoyed meeting the new friends he made in town, I mean a female couple, blacksmith and baker. Yes please. Gretchen and Hannah were awesome.

This was just fun and takes me away from my everyday cares to just relax with entertaining characters and a world that doesn't take itself too seriously.

[Natalie H · Rating 4 out of 5]

Took a while to get into this one. With Lars in the picture it went pretty quickly to jealousy. It wasn’t until Dave popped up that I got into the story, because Dave is very lovable and I need to know more about Simon. I liked how the guys just fell at Gretchen’s feet and the obsession with gingerbread. Compared to the first one it was a lot more focused on the relationship and less on the quest. Favourite part was Cal’s name. I was expecting something rude and then that. Felt sorry for Lars being the one to compromise but thankfully the elves came to their senses. I’m curious whether Scott will end up with someone or if he’ll be killed for that play. Looking forward to the next one.

[Allison · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was really sweet, still silly, but slightly less so than the first book. I loved Benji and Calarian growing in themselves and their relationships. Lars was just adorable. The jokes about TSoM were extra amusing because I know the movie isn't a big hit in that country. But mainly I just loved watching Benji, Calarian, and Lars fall in love. Also, Gretchen. And everyone's fascination with her.

[Vaga16 · Rating 5 out of 5]

In questo secondo libro i miei elfi preferiti, Benji e Calarian, partono in missione sui monti a Tournel per risolvere un grosso problema. Ma per risolverlo ne creano tanti altri tra cui la morte di un duca, il salvataggio di una mucca e una threesome con il pastore/duca della città.
In tutto questo Benji, con la sua dipendenza dal pan di zenzero e i suoi motti anarchici, mi ha fatto morire dalle risate. Lo amo!
Un po’ meno avvincente rispetto al primo, ma altrettanto divertente. È una di quelle letture che ogni tanto devi concederti per staccare la mente e goderti un po’ di relax!

[Zen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn't quite love this one as much as the first, but it was still fantastic.

[French_fry · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is very silly but in a fun way. The Sound of Music stuff went on longer than I would have liked but Benji is so much fun. I thought this was a very sweet story and all three of our MCs deserved their happy ending. Very diverting read.

[Fayrooz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well that was fun in three ways lol

[R · Rating 5 out of 5]

Calarian and Benji (impossibly beautiful elves that weren’t really cousins) are sent on a quest. Their quest goes sideways, but really how else could it go with two beautiful but not too bright elves?

The best part about scaring someone from a tower, (not that killing someone is good you understand) was that they met Lars. Most beautiful human they’ve ever seen. Through all their trials, they persevered, except Benji got hooked on gingerbread. Deep, soul need, addiction.

Funny, sexy, (what the heck is an alchemist with a twist anyway?) over the top, good book.

(Authors should get an award for the most imaginative use of a musical).

[Kk · Rating 5 out of 5]

KU Read. ..

5 Giggling Stars 😄🌟😄🌟😄

Ohhhh me likey!

The Red Heir set the tone & Elf Defence was an excellent followup!

Calarion & Benji quest their way through Medieval type Kama Sutra (Slippery Friar for heaven's sake!) spraying of laughs far & wide.

The heavy injections of Sound of Music references are on the money, embracing both bawdy and virtuous themes. Ex nuns singing about animal genders, dressing kids in drapes...yeahhh... lol

I'm praying to the blacksmith demigodess for a sequel!

[Lily · Rating 5 out of 5]

Better than the first!!

This book was gut-bustingly good. I laughed so much!! I liked this far better than the first book 2. For one thing the plot was less serious allowing a certain degree of spontaneity for plot twists. The characters and setting were all so detailed and lovable. It was such an enjoyable book. I now have a desperate need for book 3 and a large plate of gingerbread!!😆😆😆

[Lily Mayne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was already half in love with Calarian and Benji from book two, and this infatuation only got worse - especially with Benji. He is an adorable, misunderstood little cinnamon roll who just wants to be loved but doesn't even realise it.

This book was as laugh-out-loud funny as the first - maybe moreso, actually, even though it was missing Loth's particularly wonderful dry sense of humour.

"Death to all kings!"