How Love Actually Ruined Christmas

by Gary Raymond

RARELY HAS THE POWER OF CINEMA BEEN FELT BY SO MANY, IN SUCH OPPOSING WAYS…

“Love Actually dulls the critical senses, making those susceptible to its hallucinogenic powers think they’ve seen a funny, warm-hearted, romantic film about the many complex manifestations of love. Colourful Narcotics. A perfect description of a bafflingly popular film.”

By any reasonable measurement, Love Actually is a bad movie. There are plenty of bad movies out there, but what gets under Gary Raymond’s skin here is that it seems to have tricked so many people into thinking it’s a good movie.

In this hilarious, scene-by-scene analysis of the Christmas monolith that is Love Actually, Gary Raymond takes us through a suffocating quagmire of badly drawn characters, nonsensical plotlines, and open bigotry, to a climax of ill-conceived schmaltz. How Love Actually Ruined Christmas (or Colourful Narcotics) is the definitive case against a terrible movie.

Genres: Nonfiction, Christmas

175 pages, Paperback

Published June 1, 2021

Reviews

[Girl with her Head in a Book · Rating 4 out of 5]

For my full review: https://girlwithherheadinabook.co.uk/...

When I saw this book's cover on Netgalley, my immediate reaction was, 'Finally!' This is a book that has been needed for years. Raymond mentions mid-way through that this is his 'lockdown book', not because it has anything to do with coronavirus but rather because due to the pandemic he had the time to sit down and write it. So ... I guess this is one of those silver covid linings? As most good thinking people know in their hearts, Love Actually is a horrific film, a cuckoo in the nest of legitimate festive entertainment, a leech on your Christmas tree. To quote its opening scene, Love Actually is 'solid gold s**t'. As we work to build a better world post-pandemic, let's start as we mean to go on. Read this book and remember. Christmas is better without Richard Curtis & co.

In How Love Actually Ruined Christmas or Colourful Narcotics, Gary Raymond provides a scene-by-scene critique of the original film. He analyses each of the nonsensical plotlines, badly-drawn characters and nauseating schmaltz, while also highlighting every instance of open bigotry. There are many. Raymond also manages to do all of this while also being hilarious. As with any other conversion mission, this is key since otherwise you risk alienating your audience. The people love Love Actually. The people need to see the truth.

I should make a confession here. I did not always see as clearly as I do now. In 2003 when the film was released, I went to see it twice. My mother bought the DVD with excitment and I even watched the DVD commentary. It was funny! It had Bill Nighy singing! Hugh Grant danced! There was romance and music and slapstick humour. But. Even then. I remember frowning when Bill Nighy's character made a crack about having had unsatisfactory sex with Britney Spears who would have been twenty-two at the time. I thought it was seriously strange that Liam Neeson's character was ready to start dating a mere five weeks after the death of his apparently beloved wife. And was it really fair for Laura Linney to get abruptly dumped for having a mentally ill brother? Yet when I queried it, people just tutted and told me off for nit picking. So I decided those things clearly didn't matter so much and that yes, Love Actually was a fantastic film. What can I say? I'm a constant work in progress. There was also once a time where I willingly read novels by Philippa Gregory.

As recently as 2013, I was still describing myself as a fan of Richard Curtis films. But then a few things changed. I read Hadley Freeman's Be Awesome and she pinpointed the various issues across Curtis' back catalogue. Even in his best movie, Kristin Scott Thomas is rejected by Hugh Grant's character and as a second kick in the teeth ends up with Prince bloody Charles. Most of Curtis' films are centred around a male protagonist's personal journey which is then rewarded by him 'getting the girl' who is often so lacking in interiority that she does not even notice whether or not it's raining. And now isn't the right time to get into the skullduggery Curtis committed over Yesterday. Badly done, Mr Curtis. Badly done.

But while I can still enjoy Four Weddings and even still half-close my eyes at the awkward moments of About Time (no consistency on time travel theory, sexism over only men being able to do it, manipulative lead character), Love Actually is different. As Raymond explains, Love Actually is pretending to be something greater. It thinks that it's teaching us something. It thinks it's teaching us about Love. The book's subtitle 'Colourful Narcotics' comes from Raymond having misread a review of the film many years ago. It actually described the cast as containing 'colourful neurotics'.  For Raymond, the initial reading was perfect. The 'colourful narcotics' is a drug that 'dulls the critical senses, clouds people's judgment, making those susceptible to its hallucinogenic powers think they've seen a funny warm-hearted, romantic film about the many complex manifestations of love'. And that is not what we have here. One of the quotes from the book that has stuck in my head since reading is that it's not just that Love Actually is a bad film. It's that it is bad for you.

There are a lot of reasons for that. First of all, the writing is incredibly lazy. Billy Mack is selling a Christmas single based on the song 'Love is All Around'. This song became more popular due to featuring on the soundtrack to Four Weddings. Hugh Grant also points out that one of Kris Marshall's scenes was his own audition scene for Four Weddings. So rather than finding fresh inspiration, Richard Curtis has essentially dug around the back of his wardrobe to pull together a film. There are discarded storylines left and right. Rowan Atkinson cameos but was originally intended to play a wider role as a Christmas love fairy - to be honest, without this element, his appearances don't make much sense. There are a multitude of discarded plotlines from the fart jokes by Emma Thompson's son to Thomas Sangsten's gymnastics to random references to African aid work. There was also supposed to be an instance of that really tired cliche of a lesbian couple where one of them dies - because this always happens in films written by straight white men - but then Curtis cut this out too. Objectively speaking, this is a hot mess of a movie. It has absolutely no place as a Christmas 'classic'.

There's also the rampant misogyny. Throughout the film, Curtis' writing repeatedly hails supermodels as the standard of beauty. It gets really weird when Liam Neeson makes lots of inappropriate references about this to his ten year-old stepson. Martine McCutcheon is consistently referred to as fat. She isn't. I hope that Gary Raymond's next book gets stuck into that weird trope of fat-shaming non-fat women. It's as if the lazy Richard Curtis has sat down and thought, 'You know what's fun and makes everyone laugh? Fat jokes! Let's make some fat jokes! But it would be rude for us to call a fat woman fat. It would hurt her feelings. So let's cast someone who's an average size and call her fat instead. How the lols and laughs will roll in'. This really irritates me because it has a noticeable trickle-down effect into society. If you're reading this and you think I'm making a fuss over nothing, believe me - I'm actually not. The normalisation of these nasty little digs encourages women to hate their bodies.  Again, this is not just a bad film. It's bad for you.

For Curtis, Women seem to exist solely as orifices. Colin goes to America and is immediately seized by on by slobbering females. Colin Firth 'falls in love' with a woman who he cannot actually speak to. Alan Rickman's personal assistant puts on a really repulsive seductive display - it was so good to read Raymond tearing that performance apart. What is with the way she sits on the office chair? And why does she wear devil horns to a Christmas party? There's also the odd way that Curtis goes out of his way to not name various female characters. Colin Firth refers to his cheating ex girlfriend as 'the lady of the house' rather than actually call her something. Liam Neeson's dead wife is only belatedly named as Joanna. These are striking omissions when barely a single background male character goes unnamed.

There's something so deeply depressing about the way that 'love' plays out in this film. Sarah seems to accept as her lot thats she will never be with Karl because she has had the audacity to have family complications. Martine McCutcheon's boss asks her inappropriate questions and then has her removed from her post because the President of the United States harasses her in the workplace. Keira Knightley is supposed to be flattered that Mark has made a creepy stalker video about her presumably for masturbatory purposes. And then rather than telling her husband that his best friend has made a creepy stalker video, the two of them are still running in the same circles in the final airport scene with the suggestions of a continuing emotional affair. The message throughout the film is that the male emotional life comes first. The men deserve to be happy and it is the duty of the women to accommodate this. And lest we forget, that is the basic manifesto of the incel community.

I remember talking to a male friend years ago about past relationships. He mentioned still having a 'pang' for a girl who he had had feelings for at university. She had declined his advances and so he 'kept on trying' since he thought that was what you were 'supposed to do'. But then eventually a few of her male friends intervened and told him to back off. This was a tale he told to gain sympathy about being 'unlucky in love' and so I nodded along while feeling a cold chill about how unnerved that poor girl must have been. A few months later, I saw a Facebook update where the same guy bemoaned that he was on a bus with a bunch of flowers - he had gone to ask out a girl and she had rejected both him and his bouquet. I would add here that this bloke was a reasonably pleasant person and functioning member of society. On both those occasions, he sincerely believed that he was a Nice Guy going about dating as a gentleman and that it was unfair that the women were not responding in the way that they were 'supposed to'. We need to teach our sons that they can ask a girl out but if she says no, that response is a) final, b) to be respected and c) probably not to be taken personally - any number of factors could be at play. You nod and you move on. Films like Love Actually where Liam Neeson encourages Thomas Sangsten to keep on trying since eventually he would get the girl ... well. We're back to the key point. This film is not just bad. It's bad for you.

Love Actually  is a classic case of death by a thousand paper cuts. Any single sub-standard joke might be dismissed as a momentary slip. But it's not a momentary slip. It's relentless. And it's really disturbing that Richard Curtis believes this is funny. The jokes about the Brazilian transgender prostitutes while they're at the wedding. The fatphobia. In a deleted scene, Bill Nighy's character asks a female record executive if she's ever given a really old man a blow job. Raymond muses on why these characters use 'such bullying, cruel, misogynistic language?' The answer is that they don't. Richard Curtis does. This is the same guy who looked at the 9/11 attacks and felt it was another sign of love being all around. To quote Raymond again, 'if you have ever experienced love and have cherished that feeling, then this film must leave you very confused'.This is not a nice film.

What's striking too when we look at it in 2020 is just how far its ideas have translated into the real world. Bill Nighy's seedy jokes sound like things that Trump said on the Access Hollywood tape. They certainly don't sit well in a post #MeToo world. Hugh Grant's Prime Minister character is very similar to the current occupant of Number 10 Downing Street. And if you don't think that Boris Johnson would be capable of changing important foreign policy on the fly due to a squabble over who gets to frisk the tea lady ... you're naive. And it's definitely true that when people cheered Hugh Grant sticking two fingers up at Billy Bob Thornton, we little suspected that this 'kind of fuck-you attitude [would find] a more damaging real-world form of expression in the Brexit vote'. We were complacent back in 2003. We thought this was 'just a film'. But it wasn't. It isn't. It's a nasty and poisonous bit of propaganda for how sufferings of entitled men are not of their making. Love Actually belongs in the bin. Not the kitchen bin but the outside wheely bin far at the very bottom of the drive.

To credit Raymond, he clearly sets out to be as fair-minded as possible. He even puts together an intriguing counter-case for Alan Rickman's character who he suggests is actually in the grip of depression. How else to explain why he is the least enthusiastic adulterer of all time? He spends a grand total of three seconds picking out the scandalous necklace but actually did buy something for Emma Thompson that was based on what he knew of her personal tastes. Viewed through that lens, the whole affair is no more than a desperate cry for help. Maybe.

Most pertinently though, Raymond ponders whether Love Actually is just a giant joke played on the audience. We see Billy Mack going through the motions to sell his 'solid gold shit' single which soars through the charts solely because it is tied in to the festive season. Everyone knows it's not very good but they wave it through because 'Uncle' Bill's funny jokes bring them a good belly laugh even if they are a bit inappropriate. A metaphor for the film as a whole. And we've been eating it up for seventeen years. Well. Enough is enough. Lazy, derivative, insulting and misogynistic. In the closing pages, Raymond remarks 'if you respect any living thing other than white men, this film must be a depressing watch'. It is. It really is. I make the commitment now to never watch this film again. I hope that I am not alone.

Colourful Narcotics comes highly recommended as stocking-filler this year - let's make 2020 count for something and ensure that Love Actually never ruins Christmas again! 🎉📽🎄

[Andrea Pole · Rating 4 out of 5]

How Love Actually Ruined Christmas by Gary Raymond was, admittedly, always going to be a hard sell to someone who habitually refers to the film as a perennial favourite. Still, I was open to hearing what the author's objections to the film were, and I have to confess that they are, indeed, valid, well-researched and oh, so, so witty. I was helpless with laughter, agreeing with all that this seasoned film critic had to say, and as much as I have always loved the film, I concede that all of his observations are not only shrewd, but very on the nose. I found the commentary on the Karen/Daniel/Sam dynamic to be particularly astute. Will I watch this movie multiple times leading up to Christmas? Yes. Will I be viewing it with a more critical eye to the bigotry, misogyny, and litany of fat jokes? Absolutely.

I would highly recommend this read for anyone in need of some levity in these trying times. It is brilliant, snarky, and hilarious. 4.5 stars

Many thanks to NetGalley and Parthian Books for the opportunity to read this ARC.

[Megan Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

It seems that even though I tend to sit in the “love” camp when it comes to Love Actually, there was not one point in this utterly hilarious scene-by-scene critique of it that wasn’t 100% accurate. This is “solid gold shit” and just what I needed.

[Steph Warren · Rating 4 out of 5]

*I received a free copy of this book with thanks to the author, Parthian Books and Emma Welton of damppebbles blog tours. The decision to review and my opinions are my own.*

I have absolutely no issue at all with the main premise of this book, that the beloved romcom Love Actually is actually [whispers] not very good. I was baffled the first time I watched the film, as I just didn’t get its appeal. I can’t say I disliked it, but I didn’t LOVE it the way so many seemed to. I just thought it was alright. Not very good.

That confessed, I looked forward with great anticipation to having my vague antipathy validated and evidenced by Gary Raymond – with his professional critic’s hat on. I wasn’t disappointed either (unlike when I watched the film!).

Gary Raymond takes us scene by very short scene through the whole film, snarkily analysing the many flaws with plot, characters and emotional manipulation in a thoroughly entertaining way. How very short each segment is perfectly illustrates one of the problems I had with the film – you flick from one snippet of character interaction to another, without ever really getting to know any of them properly. It’s like trying to form a deep and lasting emotional connection with someone in a speed dating session.

That’s not to say that the author completely rips the film apart. He does acknowledge that it has a few ‘moments’. Even a romance-Grinch like myself can enjoy watching Hugh Grant ‘Jump’ around No. 10! And I don’t agree with Raymond on every point he makes. For example, other than said moment of joyous silliness, I actually quite enjoyed John and Judy’s gentle pornographic flirtation, while Raymond would happily consign it to the cutting room floor. But I admit that has little to do with any merit to the one-joke dead horse they flog, or their puddle-deep characterisation, and everything to do with my personal enjoyment in watching Martin Freeman be terribly, awkwardly British at every possible opportunity (see Sherlock and The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy for further examples of this.)

So, my personal fetishes aside, Gary Raymond accurately and very humorously explains exactly why Love Actually is not actually a good film (or particularly about ‘love’) at all and is, instead, a ‘colourful narcotic’ designed to give people the warm and fuzzies whilst not very subtly pushing some pretty unloving – even unpleasant – messages about women, fat people (especially women), disabled people, infidelity, the grieving, and women again (and again).

I can enjoy reading Gary Raymond’s critical analysis of the film over and over again, and am grateful to him for taking the time and energy to perform and present that analysis for me in book format, so I can better explain my own reaction to the film without ever needing to watch it again. If I want to see Hugh Grant dancing to ‘Jump’, I can always just watch the Girls Aloud music video!



People love love love Love Actually. But to love it, one must suspend all critical faculties, surely? Toss to the wind any sensitivities about entire groups of society that society would do better to be sensitive about? Or have I misunderstood something about it? Have I been overthinking it? Or underthinking it? Or thinking about it in the wrong way? Perhaps now, with a pen and notebook in hand, I am better equipped to understand its allure. Now that I have ten years as a critic under my belt, and undoubtedly a more compassionate approach to other people’s baffling admirations than I admittedly might have had when the film came out and I was twenty-four, I think I can give Love Actually something better than the benefit of the doubt: I’m going to give it my undivided attention.

– Gary Raymond, How Love Actually Ruined Christmas (or Colourful Narcotics)


Review by Steph Warren of Bookshine and Readbows blog
https://bookshineandreadbows.wordpres...

[Jess · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love living in an echo chamber and I hate this fucking movie and this book made me cry laughing omfg

[Zoé-Lee O'Farrell · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am going to say it right off the bat, I like Love Actually. When I first saw it, I thought it was cute and I loved how everyone linked and yes it made me laugh and cry. I took it at face value. Over the years, I realised some things weren’t that romantic and cute about this film Andrew Lincoln/ Keira Knightley and Alan Rickman/Emma Thompson, but it is still easy to watch and I still enjoy it.

Then this book came along and I just had to read it because well its a book based on a film! My favourite kind.

This book! It made me laugh, it made me think but it also made me open my eyes and rethink what the frick was happening in that film. I can’t remember the last time I watched this film, it has been years and years but I do want to rewatch it even more so now.

Every scene is scrutinised, but not in a bashing way, although some scenes deserve it, but it a logical way. I didn’t realise how much fat-shaming had been done! Seemingly innocent scenes take on a new meaning with the book. Daniel (Liam Neeson) grieving his wife and Karen (Emma Thompson) telling him to stop crying or he won’t get laid (paraphrasing here) just isn’t funny now, his wife hasn’t even been buried yet! When I watched the film originally, I didn’t even think of that but now, well now I cringe at the thought.

For me, the infamous scene with Alan Rickman and Emma Thompson and the whole CD/necklace saga. Yes, Alan Rickman is still completely in the wrong but the authors take on it made me rethink the entire scene in a good way but he is still wrong!

I thoroughly enjoyed this book, I think every film needs a book like this. It was fascinating to read and I felt I could picture each scene in my head as we dissected it. Every nuance, every word spoken, action taken. I sped through this book because even know we know how the film ends, I didn’t know how the book would end. It was insightful watching the film through another perspective and I took off my rose-tinted glasses to see the film in another light. Amazing what film directors got away with back in the day, with the innuendos, fat-shaming, class shaming, sexual predators. This film wouldn’t have been made in this day, and to be honest, not sure if that is a good or bad thing.

Don’t get me wrong, I will watch the film again and I will probably enjoy the film again, it is escapism especially if you don’t look for the deeper meanings. I mean Hugh Grant, thank you. I will, however, watch it with fresh eyes and see it how it should be seen, at its rawest and ugliest form. The author hasn’t made me hate the film, yet, but gave me a new appreciation for it. I will, however, always enjoy the Hugh Grant dancing scene.

I applaud Mr Raymond for writing this book, it was witty, insightful and I felt like we were having a conversation whilst reading it. These are the types of conversations I love, discussing movies! Would love to see what film he could rip apart for me next!! As I said earlier, it’s not all bashing. It’s logical, it’s fresh, and it’s fun and it’s well worth the read!

[Rachreads22 · Rating 3 out of 5]

Oh dear!

Even though I'm a big fan of Love Actually, I was really looking forward to this book. Its interesting to learn of other peoples opinions on things, after all. I was even a little afraid that this book might spoil the film for me, but while it makes some excellent points about some of the less palatable parts of the film (Colin the Sex pest, for example) i also found it a bit... harsh at times, as though the author were nitpicking at every single little detail just because he doesnt like it.

In my opinion, Love Actually is a film which doesnt take itself too seriously, poking fun at itself and its characters at every opportunity, and that's part of what I like about it. It isnt, for the most part, realistic - it's pretty unlikely, I imagine, that a crowd would gather behind a man and follow him through town for no real reason, or that a huge group of schools in a multitude of areas would gather together to put on one single christmas play, or that a young boy could run through airport security with apparent ease, and so on. It's over the top nonsense, but it KNOWS it's over the top nonsense (solid gold shit!), and with the exception of one or two moments, its certainly not meant to be serious.

With that in mind, I was a bit disappointed with this book. I thought I would be reading a well-considered review and intelligent discussion of some of the dodgy storylines/moments in the film but instead, the majority was, as I said, nit-picking and that wasnt interesting at all. Billy Mack is supposed to be an obnoxious arse, Jamie learning Portuguese so he can talk to aurelia (and she english for him) is sweet and going to her place of work to propose doesnt show 'disrespect' for her professional space, and dont get me started on the mark/juliet/peter storyline which admittedly has its problems but is not the creepy and stalkerish storyline alluded to in the book.

Am I a bit defensive? It would appear I am 😂 I love this film! I'm sure I could explain myself a bit more clearly if it weren't very late at night, but I just wanted to leave a few of my thoughts before heading to bed.

3 stars for the book from me :)

[Karschtl · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Love Actually" is a movie I could (and did) watch again several times. Maybe not every year, but surely every third year I would say. And until now I found nothing wrong with that, or the movie itself.

Reading this book made me see some things in a different light. To be honest, I have never noticed the casual misogyny before. And while I don't agree on all the examples the author brings for that here, I do see his point.

Some things I just haven't questioned as much as the author does, for example how unappropriate it is when your boss tells you to finally make a move on the hot co-worker. But on the other hand - this is the only scene that makes me see Alan Rickman's character as a 'nice guy'. In all his other scenes he is looking a bit like Grumpy from "Snow White", and Gary Raymond is completely right when he writes that "he's looked narrow-eyed the entire film". I have never realised that before, but it's so true!

Gary Raymonds dismantles the whole film, scene by scene. And in almost every one of them he finds something at fault. It's just like when you know that you don't (want to) like something and then you are looking for every tiny tittle that supports your theory. Sometimes he has a point, but often it's just overdone in my opinion. For example complaining that all the people in the movie are WASPs, which firstly is not true and secondly it's like complaining that in "The Full Monty" are no wealthy characters or in "Trainspotting" no clean ones.

Although I didn't agree on everything he critizes, I still liked reading Raymonds thoughts on the movie, because he writes in a very entertaining and often sarcastic way. And I do question some of the things now. I also have to agree that the movie is not really about Christmas that much! It's just set in the weeks leading up to that and features only a few Christmassy things: a Christmas song, Christmas shopping, a Christmas Office Party and the Christmas concert + nativity play at school. Not so much after all...

Nevertheless, I'm sure I will watch this movie again (and again, and probably again after that).

[Shelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book wins all the things on dedication alone...
To All Those Who Have Had The Sh%$t Kicked Out Of Them By Love Actually

Going into this book is going to be very different for each reader; depending on if you are in the.
Love, Actually is the best Christmas film every catagory, or Love, Actually is the bane of every Chritmas since it hit the cinemas in 2003.
I am in the latter camp, sitting in my local cinema with my mum, Christms 2003, expecting joy..
I came out physically shaking and disturbed. Not till years later, (i was 17 at the time) did i understand that I had a physical reaction of bring attacked from watching this film.
And this book told me why, it was therepy I didn't know I needed.

It explained to me the reasons i jumped at the mention of Martine Mccutcheon sizeable arse or Plumpy nickname.
Why Andrews Lincons decloration of love with flash cards, or Colins Firths march through the streets of Marseilles hunting his 'love' felt so aggressive.
Why, when coming out the Cinema, i was left feeling alone, bullied and worthless for not having a good time.

Scene by Scene Gary Raymond breaks down the judgemental, misogynistic, cruelity, and almost joyess bullying of women, disbility and class in this film.
Wrapped up in centimental, confusing and downright dizzing timelines.

But don't get me wrong, if you love this film, chances are at the end of this book you still will. It is whitty and insightful. Well researched and written with a keen eye on the times now.
This won't spoil your love of the film, just maybe make you question a few things and come to terms with them.

I needed this book, Thank You Gary.

[Emily Portman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just fabulous – what more do I need to say?! I must have seen the Love Actually film only once in my life and this book just captures everything many of us think but can’t quite pluck up the courage to say! Such a funny book analysing the film in detail, and it really did put an unexpected smile on my face.

I appreciated this book much more than I originally thought I would - from ridiculous plot holes to all the sloppy details we don’t really think much about when watching the film, the author puts a humourous spin on things and easily brings us around to his way of thinking. It wasn’t just immensely funny, but the way the book was written was actually rather clever! Whether you adore Love Actually, aren’t sold on it, or even hate it, I think anyone will love the honesty and attention to detail this book brings. A brilliant book that I’d recommend wholeheartedly!

[Tina · Rating 3 out of 5]

HOW LOVE ACTUALLY RUINED CHRISTMAS (or Colourful Narcotics) by Gary Raymond is an in depth critique of the movie Love Actually. I really liked how this book goes scene by scene in order to give a detailed description of the movie along with Raymond’s thoughts and notes. I definitely agree with him in how this movie unnecessarily used fat jokes and misogyny to portray humour. I’ve seen the movie before and enjoyed some parts of it but it’s not one I would rewatch. After reading this book I’m in the mood to watch a *good* Christmas movie!
.
Thank you to Parthian Books via NetGalley for this eBook!

[Anna Reads · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book made me laugh out loud several times and I very much enjoyed it. I’d recommend reading it on a kindle if you have one, because there are 107 footnotes in the appendix, and it would be really tedious to keep trying to find the right ones in a book.

(Also, I disagree about About Time - it’s still one of my favourite films. I will rewatch it with a more critical eye having read this, but it makes me happy, regardless.)

[Christine · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book went through all of the scenes of the movie, Love Actually. If you have been a fan of the movie like me, you still will.enjoy reading how the author feels about each character and what happened in each scene. It is like you are watching it with a friend that talks throughout it about their feelings. I would recommend that you have seen the movie, or you will not.understand the book.

[Fiona · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a fan of Love Actually, but with an of awareness of the fact it isn't perfect and it has it's flaws - as soon as I saw this I wanted to read it to truly get the view from the other side of the coin. While I do feel Gary Raymond had some interesting points it also feels self indulgent, like it's written by someone whose friends are possibly a bit fatigued with his rants about a Christmas romcom. He literally writes that the book is here to serve his ego, and you really pick that up from the get go.

I found his perspective on Harry and Karen well thought out - maybe their story arc isn't quite as straight forward as we initially would be led to believe with there being more to it than Harry just being a "classic fool". His opinion on Colin as "the most repulsive sex pest" is spot on as well.

Gary Raymond is, however, a little misguided in his complaining - he mentions numerous times how offensive a lot of it is, and how fat jokes shouldn't be allowed but in the same breath comments on the appearance of an actual child (calling his looks "creepy"). It just didn't sit right with me.

He also spent so much time mentioning the fat jokes and offensive humour that he failed to spot one of the most glaring plot holes in the film, which is slightly disappointing as someone that spent hours upon hours watching it to find things to complain about.

There are some genuine funny moments and overall it's an interesting, quick read for both fans of Love Actually and those who aren't.

[Raquel Fuell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ok so I loved this. I’m on the fence with the movie love actually and this was the justification I needed to edge closer to not living the movie even more.
Absolutely hilarious I feel like even folks who loved the movie would find this entertaining

[Helen Marquis · Rating 3 out of 5]

An entertaining and easy to read deconstruction of Love Actually and how it's a deeply problematic film, filled with epic sexism, classism, misogyny, body shaming, general terrible behaviour and tragic stereotypes. So far so good. There's a good book here, but it's buried in an epic mountain of unnecessary snark and annoying smug footnotes. Maybe the internet has finally worn me down and I'm actually tired of other people's superiority complexes....
What annoyed me most of all, was that I agree with most of what Raymond had to say about the film. So it wasn't a matter of the what, it was all about the how. It feels like he heard Michelle Obama say, "When they go low, we go high" and interpreted it as meaning it was so we could look down our noses at them.

[Dante · Rating 3 out of 5]

In the interests of full disclosure, I must admit at the outset that LOVE ACTUALLY is a seasonal favorite of mine and has been since I first saw it in theaters in 2003.

Nevertheless, I derive a great deal of enjoyment from reading various “takedown” pieces LOVE ACTUALLY has elicited over the years, all of which —including this one — have had the stopping power of a spitball against a Abrams M1A2 tank.

I began reading Gary Raymond’s How LOVE ACTUALLY Ruined Christmas (HLARC) shortly after Christmas 2020. Unfortunately, Raymond is the victim of bad timing, in that I’d read Lindy West’s Shit Actually a few days before I became aware of HLARC.

West’s book is a collection of hilarious essays on various films including LOVE ACTUALLY (which West hates, and her summary review of the film provides the book with its title). Unlike HLARC, which is solely concerned with Richard Curtis’s rom-com, Shit Actually dedicates only a dozen or so pages to that particular movie, and she eviscerates it riotously. (Even though, in the end, she failed to sway my affection for this flawed, imperfect bit of cinematic comfort food.)

Raymond is simply not as funny as West (though he drew the occasional chuckle from me) and, in fairness to him, HLARC should be reviewed on its own terms rather than in comparison with another piece of LOVE ACTUALLY criticism — notwithstanding the fact the fact that in her Foreword to HLARC, Lisa Smithstead sings the praises of West’s critique, noting that she has handed out copies of West’s original LOVE ACTUALLY review from Jezebel.com (where it first appeared) to her film studies classes. I wager her future students would be better served if she stuck with that practice rather than having them wade through the entirety of Raymond’s book.

Raymond’s premise is that LOVE ACTUALLY is a bad movie that has “ruined” Christmas … to which I say, “bollocks.”

Like the majority of human beings on this planet, most of my 2020 — including Christmas — was actually ruined (see what I did there?) by a pandemic which scuttled my plans to drive cross-country to see my elderly parents, whom I haven’t seen in person since Christmas 2019. The US experience of the pandemic is due primarily to the biblical incompetence of the orange-skinned criminal in the White House and his MAGA-hat-wearing (though they eschew masks, of course), entitled, “freedom-loving” cult who have allowed the COVID-19 virus to spread like fire through a drought-parched forest. THEY ruined Christmas.

LOVE ACTUALLY? It’s been around 17 years and it never had the effect on Christmas that COVID-19 did, so I’m going to say it hasn’t ruined Christmas (and never will).

[Furthermore, I’m writing this review the day after that MAGA cult of seditionists staged an insurrection and occupied the U.S. Capitol at the behest of the aforementioned orange-skinned criminal, all of which has gone a long way toward “ruining” the USA, so to any book that suggests in its content — let alone its title — that a trifling rom-com can “ruin” Christmas, I would suggest the author — or at least the marketing department at his or her publisher — seriously reconsider his / her priorities and recalibrate their “ruination index”.]

Granted, the title is supposed to be cheeky — at least I think it is; maybe Raymond really feels this way — but given the 2020 (and first week of 2021) backdrop, I can’t even.

Raymond spent a great deal of his lockdown writing this book, to which I give him credit: despite my best intentions to write screenplays, a novel, songs, etc. during this pandemic, I haven’t been able to muster much of anything. However, to spend the length of a book dissecting LOVE ACTUALLY scene-by-scene seems to be overkill — this isn’t CITIZEN KANE or THE GODFATHER, I’ll be the first to agree — and the constraint of a web or magazine article’s word-count might have concentrated his argument in a more forceful, compelling way. Dragging it out over 180 pages is akin to Bilbo Baggins “feeling thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.”

But look — admittedly, I’m not the intended audience for this book, despite my having tried to keep an open mind while reading it. If you hate LOVE ACTUALLY for its shortcomings, cringe-worthy moments, characterizations, yada yada, then you might find much to like here. (Though I’d still recommend Shit Actually over it.) I will say that the book is an easy read: Gary Raymond is a fine writer, and the layout of the book is such that you’ll turn pages rapidly and be done with the book in less time than it’d take to watch the movie.

It’s just that I’m firmly in the camp who’ll maintain that, like Lindy West before him, Gary Raymond has catalogued all the facts about LOVE ACTUALLY correctly but has come to the completely wrong conclusion. I wrote this on Facebook re: Shit Actually before I read HLARC, but it applies to the latter equally well:

Lindy is pretty much spot-on in her criticisms of LOVE ACTUALLY, but she and I come to different conclusions: she *hates* it, and I *love* it — in part because I think writer / director Richard Curtis knows *exactly* how superficially and misogynistically ‘love’ is portrayed in romantic comedies — including some of his own — and this movie is his meta-humor dig at those who aren’t in on the joke.

In conclusion, having read this book (and other LOVE ACTUALLY critiques before it), I come to the conclusion that no critique is up to the challenge of stopping LOVE ACTUALLY — it isn’t merely the “unsinkable” ship, Titanic: LOVE ACTUALLY is the iceberg, and woe unto any hubris-filled critic who believes they can prevail over it.

LOVE ACTUALLY is the one who knocks.

This review is based on NetGalley ARC provided in exchange for an honest, unbiased opinion. Thanks to NetGalley and Parthian Books for allowing me to read this e-book.

P.S. — I had an extra-textual realization about LOVE ACTUALLY right before I read HLARC, and if Raymond viewed the film through this lens it might alter his notions of it substantially. Yes, LOVE ACTUALLY is written & directed by Richard Curtis, but he wrote it as a fantasy springing forth from the imagination of Colin Frissell — the obnoxious catering assistant who beds a bevy of hot Wisconsinites instead of staying in London for Christmas. LOVE ACTUALLY is Colin’s fantasy of what would happen if he ditched London for the U.S., and he fleshes out the flimsy details of his own story line — because he’s not really that deep of a thinker — with flights of fancy involving a bunch of people he has crossed paths with in London, however tangentially. I mean, how else does Colin manage a foursome which includes Jack Bauer’s daughter, Betty Draper, and the Russian chick from AMERICAN PIE unless it’s all happening in his head?

[J Fearnley · Rating 3 out of 5]

What can I say? When I saw the invite to this book I thought “aah, yes! I remember that film, I’ve seen it on tv.” Of course, that was a while ago, what ten, fifteen, maybe more years ago. It wasn’t really a film on my favourites list. Actually I was a bit indifferent truth be told! Still, it was a surprise to hear that it was up at the top with the best ever Christmas RomCom films.

I think, mostly, I was intrigued about how such a film could make someone write a book on why they disliked it so. Love Actually Ruined Christmas (or Colourful Narcotics) is a book that, just like the film itself apparently, some will hate and some will love. Wait, you say, you said you were indifferent – what about those readers, or even the ones that have never seen the film? Aah, yes! What about us?

All right let’s think about that.

I remembered Emma Thompson and, yes, Alan Rickman – a married couple going through a sticky patch. Wasn’t he having an affair or about to or something? Actually the author puts an interesting twist on the present, as in gift, situation.

Liam Neeson played a dad, recently widowed whose young son was enamoured of a girl at his school. I thought this was supposed to be a sweet theme in the film but the author has other, not unrealistic, thoughts on this one.

Then, of course, there was Hugh Grant and Martine McCutcheon. He played the Prime Minister, she some kind of assistant at No.10 who brought him tea and biscuits. Here I think we certainly get to the crux of the matter for Gary Raymond.

It was somewhat absurd but these sorts of films often are and I think I just shelved it away in the back of my mind. I might watch again, but never have, I don’t hate it but I wouldn’t seek it out certainly not as a ‘favourite film’!

I thought this was a fascinating book as it brought back so much more of what was in the film – I thought the Colin Firth theme was a film of it’s own, although I couldn’t recall the name – now I know why!

As for Martin Freeman and Laura Linney I’d forgotten completely about them, sorry! Same went for one of the other themes – and that was something to be grateful for.

I checked out a Guardian review, from 2003, which basically said the film was rubbish except for Bill Nighy – then I remembered, how could I forget, Bill Nighy – he played the rock star trying for a come back.

As I read the book so much more about it that I had forgotten, or perhaps wiped from my memory, came back.

The book takes pretty much a forensic look at the film as the author chapter by chapter writes about what happened in the film and why he feels it was so bad. There are some real laugh out loud moments, especially, when reading the footnotes. The author doesn’t hold back on his disdain but, to be fair, gives credit when he feels it’s due. Not often, mind you, but then as he reels off all his reasons it’s not really surprising. On this point do read the forward which is a pretty good commentary in itself.

The premise that the author puts forward as being the one the film is written on the basis of – Christmas is a time to speak the truth – is as baffling to me as it is to him and, I dare say, to all those who spend time at Christmas with those they rarely see for the rest of the year simply because they are related! Or, indeed, to those who believe in a Christian god with all the material paraphernalia that surrounds what is, for them, a religious festival.

I also felt that, along with Gary Raymond, that it was a shame that Rowan Atkinson’s role (yes, he was in it too! What a caste.) was edited in such a way as to miss the point of his character altogether.

Reading the book made me feel that not recalling much of the film was no bad thing. Gary Raymond who besides being an author is a film (and etc.) critic so he is an authoritative voice not just someone with a random dislike of the film and this certainly comes through in the book – he obviously knows about the film world, what goes on in film making and so on. Is he right in his judgment? Well, actually, I think I’ll leave that up to you to decide.

This is a book that anyone with a sense of humour will appreciate, those who dislike the film will love, those who love the film will be amazed with the fresh take on each scene (or is that appalled?) and those of us who are pretty much indifferent, or haven’t seen it, will take it as validation for not having to ever watch it (again).

Christmas cheer in a book! Indeed, in the words of Scrooge himself “Scrooge having no better answer ready on the spur of the moment, said `Bah!’ again; and followed it up with `Humbug.’” (From “A Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens).

This is just the sort of book that should, and – hopefully – will find itself in many a Christmas stocking this year and in years to come.

If you don’t get it then you can always buy yourself a copy and for those who do receive it – enjoy!


Thanks

With thanks to Emma of #damppebblesblogtours for the invite to read and review Love Actually Ruined Christmas by Gary Raymond. Also, my thanks to Parthian Books for a gifted copy of the book. All thoughts are my own. I do not receive any payment for my reviews.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

One film, Love Actually, has a particular place in modern film history. Essentially a compilation of loosely linked stories, it is memorable for the well known actors involved, the music and its production by Richard Curtis. This book takes a critical view of the film - not in the sense of a review, but looking at the questionable elements of the film. This includes the acting, the flow of the story, the editing, the implications of the script, and the time scale of the stories. Anyone with a deep affection for the film may find some illusions endangered by this book, but overall it is a fair if hard assessment of the film. Gary Raymond has studied the film with microscopic attention and has asked the questions that many of us have asked. An exceptionally newly married couple are back at work within days. A man whose wife’s funeral is yet to take place is urged to move on. A successful film director is chatting with a man who is proposing to go to America with no more than an interestingly packed backpack in order to seduce women. Why does every attractive woman have to be a supermodel? How traumatised is a young boy who is urged to chase his love, spookily sharing his recently deceased mother’s name? In a scene by scene examination Raymond looks at the film with comments. It is a compulsively interesting book which I admit to reading in one sitting, and I was pleased to have the opportunity to read and review this book.

From the foreword to the book by “a feminist film historian”, Lisa Smithstead, who sees some elements of the film as troubling, through to Raymonds’ summing up of the film’s ending (he does not like it), this book raises the issues that have troubled many of us. There is a strong theme of misogyny in some eyes, some of the comments about women in their absence, the concept of only supermodels being attractive. Women are seen as less than attractive by reason of age, of appearance and crucially, weight, with disparaging comments being made about being “chubby” or overweight. This is true of Hugh Grant’s Prime Minister, who draws attention to his assistant’s figure, or the sister in Europe who is referred to as “dunkin donuts”. Andrew Lincoln’s character can be seen as too desperate even in his use of cards to communicate with Keira Knightly’s confused newly wed. Raymond is particularly worried about the film’s depiction of mental illness, as Michael is seen as an institutionalised, sometimes violent long term resident who interrupts his sister's work and thwarts her relationship, forcing her to choose between her brother and her long term affection for a work colleague. The whole existence of the John and Judy strand seems of little value except as an opportunity to show naked bodies in elaborate situations.

The whole Harry (Alan Rickman) and Karen (Emma Thompson) story is commented on; with Thompson’s main scene as wronged wife mentioned as perhaps the best acted, while Rickman seems to be baffled as to his much discussed infidelity.

This is a book that is apparently the result of the opportunity provided by lockdown to watch the film intensely. It is a labour of love in a way, or at least a labour of determination to try to discover what it is about the film that makes it so popular despite its air of hurried and inconsistent editing and writing. It is an interesting book for many who have watched the film and pondered its inherent difficulties. It is a criticism rather than a review, but it is a strongly argued book.

[Michelle Ryles · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having watched Love Actually many years ago and being completely underwhelmed, I was very intrigued by Gary Raymond's book: How Love Actually Ruined Christmas (or Colourful Narcotics). The only thing I could remember about the film was Hugh Grant doing his crazy dad dancing so I decided to watch the movie before reading the book. After watching the movie and scratching my head in confusion, Gary Raymond writing this book makes so much sense, a lot more than Richard Curtis' dreadful movie that's for sure.

Love Actually is not the first movie that springs to mind when I think of Christmas films, that's because it's the least Christmassy Christmas movie EVER. You could ruin your Christmas just by watching it so read this book instead. It's much funnier than the movie and points out a lot of the things that don't make sense in the film and there are a LOT of nonsensical things to point out! As well as the things mentioned in the book, I was astounded that there would be a school play on Christmas Eve, days after schools have broken up for the holidays. It also seems to be tradition in Love Actually to open your Christmas presents BEFORE Christmas Eve, whereby Karen discovers that Harry hasn't bought her the necklace that Mia is now wearing. It's all very confusing when you try to make sense of it.

Gary Raymond's scene by scene analysis of Love Actually is absolutely hilarious. You really don't realise how bad the film is until you strip it down to each painful (and sometimes pointless) scene. I found myself laughing out loud, snorting and chortling my way through the book and I think it was made even funnier by the film being so fresh in my mind. So very well written, the writing is fresh, insightful and witty making the whole book incredibly entertaining.

An anti-companion to the film, it's an eye-opening read and wouldn't look out of place on a film studies course. It's a great book to discuss with others (of suitable age) who have read it and I'm still talking about it many days after reading the book. If you love Love Actually then maybe this book isn't for you, but then again it might make you see the film in a different light. For those of us bemused by the popularity of Love Actually, this is the book you've been looking for.

How Love Actually Ruined Christmas (or Colourful Narcotics) is the perfect gift for a film lover or someone with a good sense of humour. If you're going to ask Santa for one book, make it this one; you could even copy the weird tradition from the film and open it on 23rd December. I absolutely loved this book and wholeheartedly recommend it; it's an honest and hilarious analysis of a very strange and perplexing film. An absolutely cracking five star read; I'll definitely be adding Gary Raymond's back catalogue to my wishlist.

[Ophelia Sings · Rating 3 out of 5]

As one who loathes the festive behemoth that is Love Actually, I realise I'm in the minority. It's a lonely place, particularly at this time of year, these LA-denying lowlands. So I approached How Love Actually Ruined Christmas in the hope of solidarity and vindication, and for the most part, I found it.

Even those who are diehard (now THERE'S a Christmas film) Love Actually aficionados admit that it's (over)loaded with schmaltz and saccharine tropes, and for some, that's kinda the point of it. Daft escapism and soppy silliness. Fine, wonderful, nothing wrong with that if it's your cup of eggnog. But as Gary Raymond points out, there's a darker, more troubling strata to the movie which plunges it into the realms of pretty bloody horrible, actually. And let's not fall back on the 'things were different 17 years ago' argument - some of this stuff was as ghastly then as it is now.

So. Raymond and I are broadly in agreement. So far, so good. What I find perplexing, however, is in a book which claims to highlight the problematic misfires in Love Actually, the author himself makes several of his own. He passes judgement on the appearance of a child actor (creepy, apparently) and the character he plays, unmoored by the death of a parent, is seen as a 'psycho'. Plus there's the use of tired misogynist slurs such as 'Karen' and bitch. Charmed, I'm sure.

There's plenty of jolly laughs here and yes, Raymond is right, LA is not a fluffy festive funstravaganza and more a seething cesspit of sexism, fat shaming, classism and all the rest (with a dire script and messy production to boot). I did do many a lol and energetic agreement-nod whilst reading this short, snappy tome. However, some of it did seem a little joyless and preachy, and I'm the flakiest snowflake you're likely to meet. Why, I've knitted six yoghurts and hugged at least three trees just this morning. But still. There's a nagging feeling that Raymond is spreading his outrage just a little too far (I lost count of the number of times he uses the word 'offensive'). If he can make me, who loves nowt better than getting het up about social injustice and whatnot, feel this way, be must be over-egging just a tad. What makes it worse, though, is at the same time as (rightly) berating the problematic aspects of LA, he's not exactly free from tossing in the odd ugh-comment or phrase himself.

But, yes. It's fun and he's (mostly) right and HLARC works for those who love Love Actually (come see it through a different lens) and those who don't (come join me on lonely Denier's Island, it's so peaceful here).

My thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Jamie · Rating 3 out of 5]

A mixed bag for me. A few parts were laugh-out-loud funny, and the author and I agree on our favorite funny line from the film: "Eight is a lot of legs, David."

In contrast, the only parts he found charming were Hugh Grant's dance (bleh - I can't look at it without noticing how charming Hugh Grant imagines himself to be during the whole scene, which is the antithesis of charm), and Rowan Atkinson's appearance. I fail to see anything appealing in that part or his whole schtick; he is as off-putting to me as Thomas Brodie-Sangster apparently is to the author. But tastes will vary - that's cool.

There were plenty of points raised about creepy facets that I agreed with, but it wasn't that I never noticed them or that they hadn't bothered me (The Miss Dunkin Donut joke, the comments about Natalie being overweight, the creepy boss/secretary - why would they ever interest each other, and yes, the fact that Peter should have had enough curiosity to peek at the casual carol-singers who sound like professionals while the Walking Dead sheriff flips through his cue cards.)

I think a lot of critiques he makes about this movie can be made about decades of romantic comedies; two-dimensional portrayals of characters are not unique here. Unfortunately, while I notice misogyny and fat-shaming and assumptions about what "all" men find attractive or unattractive, these things are so common in media that I learn to look around them. The author makes an assertion about how "we" love Harry in When Marry Met Sally "because he's a child." I hate Harry in that movie, and not just because he's a child (although I do like his Surrey with the Fringe On Top Scene). The point is, we forgive screenwriters and characters their assumptions and foibles if the film offers anything else we can take to love. It's good to name what's not okay and work for better, but this film is one example of hundreds, so it's kind of weird to focus all the ire here.

The one point raised that I most appreciated (and hadn't considered) was about Tony's character - why an apparently successful film director would be friends with odd-jobs Colin, and only ever exists to discuss Colin's life.

I also think that if you write a snarky book critiquing broad points and details of a film (this book walks through each scene of the movie to discuss its problematic plot points and dialogue), the book itself should be error-free, and it suffers from a few typos.

This was a fast read and a fun format for a discussion of the film.

[Bamba · Rating 4 out of 5]

I will start off my review by saying I love Love Actually...I have in fact watched it more times than I can count just this year (obviously a certain movie channel has been playing it on repeat).

I found this book really funny and refreshing and I laughed out loud plenty of times throughout.

I am aware that the film is problematic with some themes but have never thought of it as fat phobic....having always been on the bigger side. .thats just how society is. The fact that people DO actually think the gorgeous and thin Martine is plump just underlies that fact and is almost making fun of how ridiculous it is that anyone thought that. All the fat jokes to me in LA underline the opposite, that its ridiculous people think like that, rather than that they actually hate fat people and I was very surprised the author did not explore that idea.

I am glad he hated Andrew Lincoln's character as much as I do and was also disappointed in the Laura Linney storyline ending up like that.

With the Laura Linney storyline I think he was again very harsh on Richard Curtis. I didn't see it as being bad about mental health but in fact showing that sometimes the family of sufferers have to give up so much....I always took it as a sympathetic look at carers and their lives.

The one thing I cannot believe he didn't mention though (which would have got a 5 star review if he had!) Was that Emma Thompson's Karen changed her appearance in the final scene...for her cheating husband. That always makes me rage as it always said to me Harry wouldn't have cheated if Karen had made more of an effort...which is a) often thought and b) absolutely outrageous.

This book is enjoyable whether you love or hate Love Actually and is very witty and although I did not agree with all the authors opinions, I very much appreciated the depth he had gone into and the analysis.

This is a really funny, different book and I would highly recommend it to anyone. I will definitely be reading more by this author...as I loved his tone and humour.

This would be a terrific gift - so stock up for next Christmas as it is bound to cause alot of laughter and discussion with family and friends!

Thanks to the author, publisher and Netgalley for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Suze · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a fun read and, without trying to be dismissive or rude, a good gag gift to be added to the pile of books in the smallest room in the house. The ‘colourful narcotics’ in the title is because the author misread a review referencing ‘colourful neurotics’.

Raymond has decided to make use of the time in lockdown in this pandemic world, to finally write the book he’s been threatening to write for years. The one about how that perennial festive favourite, “Love, Actually”, is not the warm and fuzzy cinematic triumph people think it is.

It is of course, tongue in cheek and should not be seen as a serious argument – plenty of people love and enjoy and watch this film all year round.

The book itself is a scene by scene breakdown the film, character driven. Doing it that way does highlight some of the ridiculous timelines – how does Tony get from being on the set of the adult film to the wedding reception? Why does he do that? He doesn’t appear to be an invited guest but is hanging out the back…

Some of the points are funny and manage to articulate something I hadn’t put my finger on before. The fact that the central premise is that Christmas is a time where you tell the truth, for example. Never has that been a principle in real life Christmas. You spend time with relatives you might have differing views from you, politically or otherwise – Christmas is not the time to tell them you’re vegan because all dairy produced is inhumane. You wrap that all up in a neat bow and pop it in a box, ready to be nice for a few days. You pretend you love that present, you don’t want that last roast potato and you definitely think that one glass of wine is enough.

Other points have been discussed and analysed at length – the affair with Alan Rickman and his secretary, the fact that the central ‘joke’ about Martine McCutcheon’s character is that she’s ‘fat’ and unsuitable for a Prime Minister.

I’d recommend this book as a Christmas present for someone who dislikes the film already, fancies a slightly fun read and will no doubt read bits of it out over the annual family screening of the film.

[Kate Southey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was the perfect candidate for this book. I held the title for being the only one of my friends and acquaintances who had never watched Love Actually. I asked my 21 year old daughter if she’d ever watched it and the reply came swiftly “Yeah. It was sh*t” I do love how pithy the youth of today are!
So I set myself the challenge of watching the movie and then reading this book. I’m not sure I would call the film sh*t with the same vehemence that my daughter and the author have but it certainly isn’t the amazing classic that people think it is and viewed through the lens of 2020 it’s is hands over eyes, peer through fingers cringy in the main.
So, Mr Raymond’s book; I don’t agree with him on every point, some I think he’s got a valid opinion that I just don’t share and sometimes I think he’s reaching so far he may unbalance and topple over but regardless this man can write!! Every point made is with wit and the book flows so quickly I read it in probably a similar time to how long I sat through the film. I spent a good deal of time disturbing my daughter from her endeavours by reading bits out and chuckling to myself. I think ALL books about films from henceforth should be written scene by scene as Raymond has done here. It meant I managed to keep the narrative thread (such as it was!) of the film in my head and didn’t get to a chapter and think “which bit is he on about now?” this vehicle also heightened just how silly the timeline of the film was which increased my enjoyment of Raymond’s snarky commentary.
I think everyone should probably read this book. If you love the film and think it a romantic tour de force then you need to read it. Like, really, need need. If like my daughter you hate the film then you will love chuckling away and agreeing with the author and if you are like me and had no preconceived ideas about the film it is an enjoyable read that will help you decide actually how you feel about it and which parts.

[Claire · Rating 4 out of 5]

I must admit, I’m not the biggest Love Actually fan. I just don’t get it. I’ve watched it once and couldn’t get the hype so I’ve never rewatched it. Don’t get me wrong, I like Richard Curtis’ films, loved Bridget Jones’ Diary, Notting Hill and Four Weddings – I’ve lost count how many times I’ve seen each of these. And I love Hugh Grant… and I adore Christmas but there are so many more festive films that I’d sooner watch: Elf, Arthur Christmas, Die Hard (yes it is a Christmas film).

But this guy, I mean Gary Raymond really does not like this film! I suppose the title of the book gives that little nugget away. But as I read the blow by blow reasoning for Raymond’s dislike for this Curtis film, I could fully appreciate where the author was coming from. Raymond shows in his commentary how cluttered and frenetic Love Actually as a film is which is possibly where my lack of adoration comes from.

Despite Raymond’s animosity for this film, his critique I felt was justified. My memory of this film is flimsy but that is possibly due to the frantic nature of the story. Raymond highlights that and then deconstructs the lordotic nature that has been bestowed on Love Actually. He criticised the plot line, narrative and character interaction but not only with a slight on the movie but also with a critic’s hat donned. Yes he dislikes the film playing out before him but he provides us readers with a justified reasoning for his contempt!

If you are a fan of Love Actually, I’d probably suggest that you don’t read this book anytime soon. However for someone like me who is non-plussed, it’s an entertaining critique of what is viewed as one of the best Christmas films to watch. Reading Raymond’s logic, I kind of want to watch Love Actually to pick up on all the niggles and gripes he has with this film.

[Ruthie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was one of those who couldn't bear Love Actually. I'm disappointed to find that I can't claim the high ground. I ignored the misogyny, poor characterization and plot holes. For me it was the overwhelming sadness. When it came out in 2003 I had finally got divorced after a very unhappy marriage. I'd let my children down with my misguided promises that things would work out with their father at some point.

Watching Love Actually all I saw was love going wrong. The woman who didn't shag the co-worker she yearned for, because she put supporting her mentally ill brother first. The wife who kept the family together only to get a crappy Joni Mitchell CD (I HATE Joni Mitchell) when the Other Woman got what looked like a romantic gesture, but even that was sordid and pathetic. Liam Neeson's wife has just died (and we weren't to know that a few years later Neeson's real wife would indeed die). Even the pathetic bloke with the flash cards. It was all so sad.

So my theory of the film was that you saw reflected the state of your own emotional / romantic life. Those who loved it, loved it because they were at the time in a loving relationship.

Gary Raymond has shown that's all (in the words of Billy Mack) "solid gold shit." It's a crappy misogynistic, poorly written and poorly made film. Phew. Glad we've got that sorted.

This book had me sniggering at first, then laughing out loud and by the time we got to the little lad in his bedroom possibly taking drugs and masturbating, had me with tears running down my face. A cracking read.

But if Gary Raymond ever comes after About Time or Yesterday (films he also hates) I will put my hands over my ears and eyes. I LOVE those films and won't have a thing said against them. Don't care how shallow that makes me.

[Rowena Andrews · Rating 4 out of 5]

For me, Love Actually has always been one of those films that you love because they are terrible. And sometimes you want to curl up in a blanket with a hot chocolate, a box of chocolates and watch a film that doesn’t demand anything from you, especially in the run-up to Christmas while working in retail.
So, I came to this book already knowing that it wasn’t the best film by a long shot, but enjoying it, and I have to say I can very much agree with the idea of ‘Colourful Narcotics’ – although sometimes that is just what you need. That said, I absolutely loved this book. There is no ambiguity about how Raymond feels about the film, however, even though he makes his dislike evident from the very beginning, it is not the basis for his arguments against the film, and that makes them all the stronger. Instead, we get a blow by blow account of the film, it’s characters, its plot (or lack thereof) in great detail and with where it gets it (very) wrong. With a superb balance of information (I particularly enjoyed all the nuggets of information in the footnotes) and humour, and I found myself laughing at numerous points throughout.
Love Actually Ruined Christmas is an astute, witty, takedown (I almost wanted to write massacre, but it’s not quite) of a film that many call ‘a classic Christmas film’ and as much as I enjoy vegging out and watching the film (and admittedly may do again this year), it made me view the film in a new light. Because, that alongside the humour in this book’s greatest strength, as it focuses on cracks and weaknesses within the very structure of the story and characters, and general attitude of the film, that can’t just be glossed over by going ‘…oh but it has such and such actress/actor in…’
Raymond knows what he’s doing, what he’s saying and how to prove it, and I don’t think I will ever be able to see Love Actually in the same way ever again. I can already imagine some of the commentaries from the book popping up in my head if and when I watch it again.
I would highly recommend this book to anyone who enjoys film, or who want a humorous read in the run-up to the Festive Season. I would also argue that people who enjoy Love Actually will find something within this book because the witty take will appeal to many people (however, maybe not if Love Actually is your absolute favourite movie…).

[Zoey Curato · Rating 1 out of 5]

How Love Actually Ruined Christmas (or Colourful Narcotics) By Gary Raymond
⭐️

Well what can I say? I saw this one on @netgalley and thought it sounded interesting. I can't say I am the hugest fan of Love Actually but I have seen it a few times, in fact I think I start the film every christmas and probably fall asleep after 20 mins after too many xmas snowballs!!! I'd seen a few reviews with people saying this was funny so I thought I'd give it a go.

Well I'm sorry to say that it wasn't for me. As I said I wasn't the biggest fan of the film but when I have watched it I have enjoyed it, so maybe I am not the target market for this book as the author clearly did not! The book is basically a scene by scene breakdown of the film going through what the author doesn't like, finds sexist or thinks doesnt make sense.

I am all for everyone having an opinion and to be honest some of his points did make sense but I am more of the camp, if you dont have anything nice to say.... I just really couldnt believe that this was a whole book dedicated to disecting each scene of the book. At first I found some of the musings funny but after a while it got a bit tedious. Liek I said I think I totally chose wrong on this one, and I am not the target market the author was aiming at. I love a rom-com and I love christmas so even though Love Actually has never been my favourite christmas film, I still feel like I cant champion a book that tears into it.

[Amy Louise · Rating 4 out of 5]

Okay, confession time.

I KNOW that Richard Curtis’ Love Actually is a terrible movie.

I knew it was a terrible movie the first time I watched it – long before Lindy West’s infamous (and hilarious) take down of it for Jezebel, and long before I was old enough to truly appreciate the sheer depth of the misogyny, fat-shaming, and sheer smugness of it. And that’s before we even get onto the dodgy timeline, the numerous plot holes, and the fact that some of the actors were mostly definitely phoning it in for this one. I know all of this.

And yet, come Christmas, will I watch Love Actually? Will I crack a smile at Hugh Grant dancing around Downing Street to the sound of Girls Aloud?

Almost certainly.

I mean, look at that CAST! The fabulous soundtrack! All of the FEELS!!

This inexplainable appeal is at the heart of Gary Raymond’s How Love Actually Ruined Christmas (or Colourful Narcotics). Raymond, a presenter on the BBC Radio Wales’s The Review Show and editor for Wales Arts Review, likens Love Actually to being under the effect of some kind of narcotic substance. We know it’s bad for us, but we’re addicted to it anyway because of the feels.

His scene-by-scene account of the film is both thought-provoking and hilarious, mixing the astute eye of a film critic (Raymond really does make you realise how incredibly skewed the timeline is – Liam Neeson’s character goes from his wife’s funeral to dating Claudia Schiffer in the space of about 10 weeks), with a laugh-inducing blend of wry observation, cynical commentary, and downright frustration. His skewering of Curtis’ terrible characterisation and schmaltzy dialogue stays on the right side of witty, whilst his frustration with the film’s tone-deaf messaging is something that I share.

For me, Raymond’s dissection of Love Actually really comes into its own when he’s examining the motivations of the characters. Because you really do start to realise that none of the tropes that the movie wants you to invest in – that Andrew Lincoln’s Mark is a nice guy, that Alan Rickman’s Harry is a heartless husband and Emma Thompson’s Karen a long-suffering wife, and that Kris Marshall’s Colin is hilarious – really work the moment that you think about them for more than two seconds.

He also blows apart the notion that Love Actually is a Christmas movie by pointing out, quite correctly, that the central idea that you ‘have to tell the truth at Christmas’ is, at best, a misnomer and, at worse, an excuse to be particularly selfish at a time that really should be about others. Which, I have to admit, did come as a bitter pill to swallow for me. The one thing I thought I could say about Love Actually was that it fulfilled the requirements of being a Christmas film – the entire thing is, after all, overflowing with tinsel – but, alas, Raymond shows that not even a nativity play full of octopuses can give this film Christmas spirit.

So, having read Raymond’s brutal (and brutally funny) takedown of Love Actually, will I be watching it this Christmas? Well, never say never. Rowan Atkinson’s cameo as the over-attentive salesperson will always make me smile. And Emma Thompson remains a delight despite how little she gets to work with. But it’ll probably be further down the list than it has on previous years – well below A Muppet Christmas Carol and Arthur Christmas. And if I do watch it, it’ll be with the knowledge in the back of my mind that it really IS a terrible movie.

NB: This review first appeared on my blog at https://theshelfofunreadbooks.wordpre... as part of the blog tour for the book. My thanks go to the publisher for providing a copy of the book in return for an honest and unbiased review.