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Tea With Dad: Finding Myself in My Father's Life
Tea with Dad maps the rough terrain of the author’s life and experiences after moving in with her 82-year-old father and living with him consistently and longer on a day-to-day basis than she ever had as a child. She is surprised by the distance between them and the obvious discomfort the two of them feel. Nancie, the twice-divorced mother of three daughters who no longer live at home, still reeling from the last ten years—during which, among other things, her second husband disclosed that he was gay and her mother unexpectedly died—leaves a well-paying job in online media and rents a house from her father on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. Her plan is to regroup, write, and live closer to her dad so that she is there to care for him when the time comes. But her own personal circumstances force her to move in with her father far sooner than expected, and not on her own terms. In order to be with and care for her father until the end of his life, she must confront long term and unresolved issues that threaten their getting along. As she finds ways they can reconnect and revise their relationship—specifically through afternoon tea and long car rides—she grows to know him better, she learns more about her mother, and rediscovers herself.
- GenresMemoir
224 pages, Paperback
Published June 1, 2021
9 people are currently reading
35 people want to read
About the author
Nancie Laird Young
1 book15 followersNancie Laird Young lives on Maryland’s Eastern Shore, where she lived with and cared for her father until his death on July 6, 2022, a little over a year since "Tea with Dad, Finding Myself in My Father's Life entered the world.
As a military BRAT, Nancie traveled with her family through Europe, the Far East, and across the United States. Besides contributions to books and magazine articles about the Internet, she held positions in Online Social Media Management, Content Development, and Strategy at WashingtonPost.com, Edmunds.com, LifetimeTV.com, and AOL/Time Warner, among others. She continues to work on two books, one about her mother—which continues this memoir series—and another for blocked writers. A novel idea lives in her head as it has for over 35 years. The characters keep aging.
As a military BRAT, Nancie traveled with her family through Europe, the Far East, and across the United States. Besides contributions to books and magazine articles about the Internet, she held positions in Online Social Media Management, Content Development, and Strategy at WashingtonPost.com, Edmunds.com, LifetimeTV.com, and AOL/Time Warner, among others. She continues to work on two books, one about her mother—which continues this memoir series—and another for blocked writers. A novel idea lives in her head as it has for over 35 years. The characters keep aging.
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
July 3, 2021
Tea with Dad is, quite literally, a world in a teacup kind of story. After moving in with her elderly father, the author’s daily tea ritual becomes the impetus for sharing memories, unlocking secrets of the past, bridging distances, and deep personal healing. This is a profoundly moving story about midlife reckonings and intergenerational care-taking, family connections, and what it means to come home. As the story looped between present and past, I learned a lot about what it’s like to grow up in a military household. I was moved by the author’s personal losses and touched by her determined efforts to connect to her father while there is still time. Young’s honesty and introspection are especially admirable because she has written about a family member who is still alive and a relationship that is a work in progress. This story will resonate with anyone who has tried to care for an elder who is not ready to relinquish control. It illuminates what it is possible to learn about ourselves by returning home and opening our hearts to the people who brought us into the world.
I received an advance copy of this book with the understanding I would write an honest review.
I received an advance copy of this book with the understanding I would write an honest review.
August 31, 2021
The heart, soul, and guts of a lovely lady’s life
This book tells of a real life—no sugarcoating—and gives us insight into what it really means to LIVE. We should all be so blessed to know the kind of love Nancie Laird Young has known … and continues to know. Recommended for all who want to feel.
This book tells of a real life—no sugarcoating—and gives us insight into what it really means to LIVE. We should all be so blessed to know the kind of love Nancie Laird Young has known … and continues to know. Recommended for all who want to feel.
August 20, 2021
A sweet story and more timely now that my dad is a widower.
"My boyfriend at the time was the pitcher for the visiting team from Elon College."
"My boyfriend at the time was the pitcher for the visiting team from Elon College."
July 26, 2021
I read this book after listening to the author’s book launch. I have to admit, this is not my genre, but the author’s incredible amiable personality drew me in to take a chance on her book.
Tea with Dad presents with Nancie moving in with her father when she needed to be saved. In the midst of financial and emotional ruin, divorcée Nancie picks herself up and heads back home. Helping with household duties, like afternoon tea, provides some comfort to the author and she continues to believe that she is there to help her father; even though the inverse is true.
One afternoon tea takes a life changing turn when Nancie runs out of the usual snack that accompanied the tea. She grabs toast. Her father, a rigid military captain, softens and begins to open up about his relationship with Nancie’s late mother. It is from this moment that the reader learns more about the man and woman, whom she called Dad and Mom, and about their relationship.
The subtitle of this book is a reminder that we believe ourselves to be separate of the parents who raised us; when in reality, we are who we are because of those who raised us. Our shared experiences and the relationships these people had with each other turns us into the individuals that we are.
Take a break, grab some tea and sit down with Nancie, her dad, and the FOGs for an enjoyable afternoon. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and you’ll catch a glimpse into the author’s life. 🔥
Tea with Dad presents with Nancie moving in with her father when she needed to be saved. In the midst of financial and emotional ruin, divorcée Nancie picks herself up and heads back home. Helping with household duties, like afternoon tea, provides some comfort to the author and she continues to believe that she is there to help her father; even though the inverse is true.
One afternoon tea takes a life changing turn when Nancie runs out of the usual snack that accompanied the tea. She grabs toast. Her father, a rigid military captain, softens and begins to open up about his relationship with Nancie’s late mother. It is from this moment that the reader learns more about the man and woman, whom she called Dad and Mom, and about their relationship.
The subtitle of this book is a reminder that we believe ourselves to be separate of the parents who raised us; when in reality, we are who we are because of those who raised us. Our shared experiences and the relationships these people had with each other turns us into the individuals that we are.
Take a break, grab some tea and sit down with Nancie, her dad, and the FOGs for an enjoyable afternoon. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and you’ll catch a glimpse into the author’s life. 🔥
July 1, 2021
“Sometimes you can finish the puzzle in one sitting, and other times it takes a summer of sitting with it, stealing a little time here, a little time there, to fiddle with it until you get it right.” Isn’t that the truth to storytelling, especially a memoir?
Nancie Laird Young puts all the pieces together, vignette by vignette, in her new release Tea with Dad. Each episode is captivating, and I can’t help but find myself in each scene with her as she navigates age-old issues between daughter and father and daughter and mother. As for matters between wife and husband, that was a shocker the reader will have to discover. This is not a typical narrative but a powerful memoir about self-reflection, forgiveness, and understanding.
First a disclaimer. I know the author. We were gal-pals during our sophomore year in high school. At the time, I had no knowledge of Young’s home life or what it was like for a military brat to leave one base after another—shedding friends, homes, and schools. Fifty-something years later do I finally begin to understand the repetitive, small traumas and the coping skills required to “be good soldiers” in military families. Young lays it all out within her own family, such disruptions affecting her profoundly as she became an adult and had ordeals of her own making.
Young’s fragility lies just skin deep in the shadow of a soldier-father who ran the family in the only way he knew—military style. In the end, he becomes her savior.
Nancie Laird Young puts all the pieces together, vignette by vignette, in her new release Tea with Dad. Each episode is captivating, and I can’t help but find myself in each scene with her as she navigates age-old issues between daughter and father and daughter and mother. As for matters between wife and husband, that was a shocker the reader will have to discover. This is not a typical narrative but a powerful memoir about self-reflection, forgiveness, and understanding.
First a disclaimer. I know the author. We were gal-pals during our sophomore year in high school. At the time, I had no knowledge of Young’s home life or what it was like for a military brat to leave one base after another—shedding friends, homes, and schools. Fifty-something years later do I finally begin to understand the repetitive, small traumas and the coping skills required to “be good soldiers” in military families. Young lays it all out within her own family, such disruptions affecting her profoundly as she became an adult and had ordeals of her own making.
Young’s fragility lies just skin deep in the shadow of a soldier-father who ran the family in the only way he knew—military style. In the end, he becomes her savior.
July 7, 2021
Family Does Matter
Nancie Laird Young's Tea With Dad was one of the most personal and insightful stories I have come across in recent years. Having known Nancie while at our Texas high school, I had a deep interest in her personal journey. Her wry sense of humor bubbles up throughout. The story of her relationship with each parent is deeply touching. The love story of her parents union is thought provoking and real. A friend told me that family does matter, we're a team. When one falters, family should be supportive and help, not stand by and be judgmental. An outsider might view that help as enabling yet it's not often the case. Who says there is a timeframe for that? You don't kick a loved one when they are down. Tea With Dad reflects that family or a platoon rallies together when duty and love calls. It was an exclusive right to read this story of courage, bravery, love, and devotion.
Nancie Laird Young's Tea With Dad was one of the most personal and insightful stories I have come across in recent years. Having known Nancie while at our Texas high school, I had a deep interest in her personal journey. Her wry sense of humor bubbles up throughout. The story of her relationship with each parent is deeply touching. The love story of her parents union is thought provoking and real. A friend told me that family does matter, we're a team. When one falters, family should be supportive and help, not stand by and be judgmental. An outsider might view that help as enabling yet it's not often the case. Who says there is a timeframe for that? You don't kick a loved one when they are down. Tea With Dad reflects that family or a platoon rallies together when duty and love calls. It was an exclusive right to read this story of courage, bravery, love, and devotion.
June 6, 2021
This is a nuanced exploration of the choices an intelligent, capable woman made as she navigated her life, and the epiphanies she experiences as she reconnects with her father. I was fascinated by the glimpses of growing up in a military family that was loving and affectionate, as well as disciplined and organized. The author's honesty and sense of humor make this memoir a pleasure to read.
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June 21, 2021I’m grateful for the way this author, to whom I’m related (disclaimer), opens herself up to share her stories and the insight she has gleaned during the years. It sparked my own reflections and my curiosity at what stories each person I meet has to share.
June 29, 2021
I very much enjoyed Tea With Dad. I found the author's writing style engaging and readable. Although the details of the author's life are different than mine I thought her story and experiences were very relatable. Nancie Laird Young is a gifted writer.
June 9, 2021
Tea with Dad is one of those rare books that I finished and then immediately began reading again.
In her sixties, at a vulnerable time in her life, Nancie Laird Young moves in with her widowed dad, a retired army officer. She realizes that she doesn't really know her dad as a person; he was often away on military assignments when she was growing up, and her mother was the communicator in the family.
The two of them begin having tea in the afternoon, and over time, their relationship deepens. She begins to see her life in a new perspective. She writes about what it was like to grow up in a military family and constantly move around the world, leaving friends and family time after time. Young realizes what an impact her military background had on her approach to life and on her relationships.
There are two chapters that moved me to tears: when she describes the ending of her second marriage with courage and honesty, and the way her parents' stuck together through her mother's cancer, and death.
Young weaves a deftly constructed narrative that explores the past and ties her experiences with what she learns through her conversations with her father. We see her reappraise difficult episodes of her life and find new meaning in them. Her perspective on her life becomes more three-dimensional; she learns that there is often more to the story than she thought she knew.
She tells her tale with humor and grace. I may have to read it all over again!
In her sixties, at a vulnerable time in her life, Nancie Laird Young moves in with her widowed dad, a retired army officer. She realizes that she doesn't really know her dad as a person; he was often away on military assignments when she was growing up, and her mother was the communicator in the family.
The two of them begin having tea in the afternoon, and over time, their relationship deepens. She begins to see her life in a new perspective. She writes about what it was like to grow up in a military family and constantly move around the world, leaving friends and family time after time. Young realizes what an impact her military background had on her approach to life and on her relationships.
There are two chapters that moved me to tears: when she describes the ending of her second marriage with courage and honesty, and the way her parents' stuck together through her mother's cancer, and death.
Young weaves a deftly constructed narrative that explores the past and ties her experiences with what she learns through her conversations with her father. We see her reappraise difficult episodes of her life and find new meaning in them. Her perspective on her life becomes more three-dimensional; she learns that there is often more to the story than she thought she knew.
She tells her tale with humor and grace. I may have to read it all over again!
October 14, 2021
I thoroughly appreciated reading about Laird Young’s experience. Faced with some difficult life experiences and financial woes Laird Young accepts an invitation to move in with her father, perhaps somewhat reluctantly. Expecting to be burdened by caring for him she soon discovers that the care is mutual. She initiated an afternoon tea ritual which allows them to get to know each other better. In the process she discovers she is learning as much about herself as she is about him.
As her father ages and she does assume more caregiving responsibility her fiercely independent, ex-army officer dad is able to allow her to take care of him.
Laird-Young writes with clear prose. Her care and admiration for her dad shines through, as does, painfully, her guilt over the state her relationship with her mom was in when her mom passed. The reader roots for Nancie and her dad as a team.
“Tea with Dad” is a great read, sit down with your own cup of tea and think about what you don’t know about your own parents and what they don’t know about you.
As her father ages and she does assume more caregiving responsibility her fiercely independent, ex-army officer dad is able to allow her to take care of him.
Laird-Young writes with clear prose. Her care and admiration for her dad shines through, as does, painfully, her guilt over the state her relationship with her mom was in when her mom passed. The reader roots for Nancie and her dad as a team.
“Tea with Dad” is a great read, sit down with your own cup of tea and think about what you don’t know about your own parents and what they don’t know about you.
August 20, 2022
How many times do we find ourselves by looking at someone else's life? Remembering events with a family member can open doors long closed even if only for moments at a time. Nancie Laird Young preserves her memories, not in a photo collection, but in chapters of her wonderful book, "Tea with Dad". To me, there is nothing more down to earth or more regal than having tea with someone. Nancie shares the stories of her family, mostly her wise and witty dad in a way that makes you feel you know him personally. And through memories of her dad and the humorous and serious conversations she had with him, we get to know Nancie. Having stories of the one's we love - siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, mom and dads - anchor us and can comfort us in this crazy world. A truly lovely book.
July 21, 2022
Wonderful memoir..so relatable
I read every word in two sittings. I rarely read every word, but each word helps paint the full and glorious story of Nancie and her dad, and her search for herself in the stories of her life.
As a fellow military child, with over 20 addresses before age 22 and having attended 13 schools in 12 years, her stories of how the moves challenged, energized and affected her resonated. It was really cool reading her descriptions of my experiences:)
Wonderful book for anyone interested in a really good story about getting to know your parents as individuals and yourself.
I read every word in two sittings. I rarely read every word, but each word helps paint the full and glorious story of Nancie and her dad, and her search for herself in the stories of her life.
As a fellow military child, with over 20 addresses before age 22 and having attended 13 schools in 12 years, her stories of how the moves challenged, energized and affected her resonated. It was really cool reading her descriptions of my experiences:)
Wonderful book for anyone interested in a really good story about getting to know your parents as individuals and yourself.
December 8, 2021
I was asked to review this book for an author's group. Nancie Laird Young is an excellent word smith. Additionally, she tells a poignant personal story about navigating the fragile family foundation on which we all launch our individual lives. With humor, pathos, and honest self-introspection, she delves into the high and lows of the family ties that bind us together, however imperfectly. This is a great book for any adult son or daughter wondering when and how to show up in the lives of their aging parents, having to rethink who's caring for whom in the process.
November 19, 2021
This memoir is so well written I didn't want it to end. The family relationships are not idealized, but they are heartfelt, and any daughter will relate to them. Young is honest and open about her own insecurities, and that vulnerability is also something any reader can relate to. I lost my father when I was a teenager, so I loved reading about this father-daughter relationship.
January 6, 2022
A lovely memoir. I must admit a twinge of jealousy. Young bravely moves in with her dad and forges a deeper relationship. What a gift. Her sharing of her story is honest and manages to keep from ever sinking into sentimentality. No easy task!
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews