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Getting Even

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After three decades of prodigious film work & some unfortunate tabloid adventures, it's easy to forget that Woody Allen began his career as one heck of a great comedy writer. Getting Even, a collection of his late '60s magazine pieces, offers a look into Allen's bag of shtick, back when it was new. From the supposed memoirs of Hitler's barber: "Then, in January of '45, a plot by several generals to shave Hitler's moustache in his sleep failed when von Stauffenberg, in the darkness of Hitler's bedroom, shaved off one of the Führer's eyebrows instead..." Even tho the idea of writing jokes about old Adolf--or addled rabbis, or Maatjes herring--isn't nearly as fresh as it used to be, Getting Even still delivers plenty of laughs. At his best, Woody can achieve a level of transcendent craziness that no other writer can match. If you're looking for a book to dip into at random, or a gift for someone who's seen Sleeper 13 times, Getting Even is a classic, with 316,000 copies sold to date.

146 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1971

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About the author

Woody Allen

286 books3,135 followers
Noted American actor, screenwriter, and filmmaker Woody Allen, originally Allen Stewart Konigsberg explored the neuroses of the urban middle class in comedies of manners, such as Annie Hall (1977) and Deconstructing Harry (1997).

This director, jazz musician, and playwright thrice won Academy Award. His large body of work mixes satire, wit and humor in the most respected and prolific cerebral style in the modern era. Allen directs also in the majority of his movies. For inspiration, Allen draws heavily on literature, philosophy, psychology, Judaism, European cinema, and city of New York, where he lives.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woody_A...

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5 stars
2,233 (30%)
4 stars
2,741 (37%)
3 stars
1,746 (23%)
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472 (6%)
1 star
199 (2%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 373 reviews
Profile Image for Tara.
454 reviews11 followers
August 16, 2018
“My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.”

This collection of Woody Allen’s humorous magazine pieces from the Sixties was unfortunately fairly forgettable. There were a few exceptions (I loved My Philosophy, Viva Vargas!, and A Little Louder, Please), but, on the whole, they just weren’t all that funny. I’m giving this an extra star, however, because it’s still Woody freakin’ Allen. It also gets major points for this hilarious gem on the joys of reading Kierkegaard:
“I remember my reaction to a typically luminous observation of Kierkegaard’s: ‘Such a relation which relates itself to its own self (that is to say, a self) must either have constituted itself or have been constituted by another.’ The concept brought tears to my eyes. My word, I thought, to be that clever! (I’m a man who has trouble writing two meaningful sentences on ‘My Day at the Zoo.’) True, the passage was totally incomprehensible to me, but what of it as long as Kierkegaard was having fun?”

I don’t know if that’s a real Kierkegaard quote or not, but it sure as shit sounds like the little monster. Luminous indeed!
Profile Image for Irena Pasvinter.
414 reviews113 followers
December 5, 2024
Published in 1966, this collection of comic stories is so brilliant, it's hard not to envy Woody Allen't writing talent.;) The ideas are pure gold (Count Dracula mistakes a solar eclipse for his usual night out, nazism through the eyes of Hitler's barber, the parody of the scholarly review of the "long awaited volume" of Metterling's laundry lists, a salesman's Death climbs in through his window but turns out to be a quintessential schlepper, a parody in the style of film noir where a femme fatale tasks a hard-boiled private detective with locating... god etc.), and the implementation is pefect.

Read in December 2022.
Profile Image for Amir .
592 reviews38 followers
November 24, 2017
هوشمندی طنز وودی آلن در پاشیدن غباری از کودکانگی به روایت‌هاش هست. بنابراین اگرچه گاهی درون‌مایه و اجرا تاب سنگینی تبدیل متن به داستان کوتاه رو نداره، اما همین هوشمندی کودکانه متن رو جوری پیش می‌بره که بعد تموم شدنش حس نارضایتی نمی‌کنی.
متن‌های نیمه اول کتاب جذاب‌ترن؛ مخصوصا متن نگاهی به جنایات سازمان‌یافته رو که بسیار دوستش داشتم و بعدها باز هم بهش برخواهم گشت.
Profile Image for Yekta.
55 reviews22 followers
July 16, 2021
خوب بود. بعضی از داستان ها خیلی بامزه بودن ..بعضی ها نه. مثلا نفهمیدم کنت دراکولا کجاش بامزه بود؟
در کل اگه میخواین یکم بخندین انتخاب خوبیه. ایده هاش جالبه.

"به این نتیجه رسیده بودم که اگر خدا در همه جا هست پس حتما در غذا هم هست. بنابراین هرچه میخوردم خدایی تر میشدم.تحت تاثیر این شور مذهبی،مانند فرد جزم اندیشانه پرخوری کردم. در عرض شش ماه مقدس ترین مقدس ها بودم، با قلبی که کاملا در خدمت عبادت هایم بود و شکمی که به خودی خود از مرز کشور رد میشد"😂
Profile Image for Shaghayegh.l3.
420 reviews56 followers
September 23, 2017
هميشه فكر مى كردم -البته هنوز هم- كه تو ذهن وودى آلن صداى خنده پخش ميشه ، از اين مدل خنده هايى كه تو سريالاى سيتكام هست . عاشق ذهناييم كه ترجيح ميدن از راهى كه "ديد عوام" توش هست پيروى نكنن .
از اين چهارده داستان ولى فقط سه تاشونو دوست داشتم :
يادداشت هاى يك پرخور
كنت دراكولا
چند گفتگو با هلمهولتس

" وقتى ده كيلو وزن كم مى كنيم ، شايد بهترين ده كيلويمان را از دست بدهيم . شايد آن ده كيلويى را از دست بدهيم كه نبوغمان ، انسانيتمان ، عشقمان و صداقتمان در آن نهفته است . "
Profile Image for Mariel.
667 reviews1,209 followers
December 23, 2010
Review #1: The Lists

I would do a list of my favorite Woody Allen films but I've already done so elsewhere on goodreads. I know it happened in 2003 (or maybe it was 2004. I remember the pain if not the exact date) that these asshole Wes Anderson fans made fun of me for having such a long list of favorite Woody Allen films.

Times that Wes Anderson made me look like an idiot:
1. His stupid fans ganged up on me for having a long list of favorite films. Okay, if my favorite filmmaker was Wes Anderson my favorite film list would look like this.
1. Rushmore

2. In 2002 I told my twin "I don't watch Danny Glover films." I don't recall exactly why I told her this (it isn't even true. I've seen Places in the Heart [a good movie and if anyone wants my list of favorite John Malkovich stories I've got one hell of a good story about that film] and other movies.) So we go to see The Royal Tenebaums in theatres and who plays the boyfriend of Anjelica Huston? If you said "The 'Burne" meaning Lawrence Fishburne you are wrong. It was Danny Glover. Lauren was oh so smug. Damn you, Wes Anderson!

3. When I was 6 I was obsessed with always wearing a faux rabbit fur coat. I never took it off, even in the hot Alabama sun. So one day a kid announces to our teacher that he's hot. I chime in, "Me too!" "Of course YOU'RE hot, Mariel, you never take off that stupid coat!" Since 'Tenebaums came out people think I'm just like Margot Tenebaum when I share that story of my childish stupidity. Not fair! I did it first! Guess you were copying me when you were done copying Salinger and Konigsburg.

I may not have been able to give those Anderson fans the what for back in 2003. But you know what they say about revenge being a dish best served cold? I'm going to do lists related somehow to every story in Woody Allen's book Getting Even. That's right, I'm getting even.

The Metterling Lists
Best stories set in laundromats. (Shout-out to 'Fonso 'cause we've talked about this before. We are both cursed by the gods of laundry.)
1. The Flight of the Conchords. Jemaine meets Sally again and segues into "Business Time".
2. The Flight of the Conchords. The actor/laundromat employee played by Will Forte (usually he sucks). His laundromat movie in the credits stars John Turturro. Yeah!
3. Dr. Horrible's Sing-along-blog. It was sweet the little romance in the laundry room.
4. Isabel Coixet's My Life Without Me. Sentiment without being sentimental AND stars Sarah Polley (one of my top faves).
5. Vivian Van Velde's Companions of the NIght. A girl meets psycho vamp killers and psycho vamps in the laundry retrieving little brother's teddy bear.

A Look at Organized Crime
Most bad-ass mafioso.
1. The baddest ass mofo mafioso ever.
2. Johnny Dangerously.
3. Now that's HARD time.

The Schmeed Memoirs
Best hair-dos.
1. 'Fonso's afro (shout-out!).
2. Dan Bejar.
3. Robert Smith of The Cure. Those follicles were tentacles that sucked in the fans.
4. Medusa
5. John Turturro's homage to Eraserhead AND Morrissey in Barton Fink.

My Philosophy
The top philosophy factory in the world:
1. Flint, Michigan.
D'oh that was going to be the best outfits to wear while being philosophical! Black goes with black.

Yes, But Can the Steam Engine Do This?
Historical figures who are so pathetic no one ever named sandwiches after them.
1. Robert Dudley, Earl of Leicester.
2. Earl Grey
3. James Earl Jones
4. Stieg Larsson
5. Wolfe Dragomir, Earl of Ravensmere

Death Knocks
Games I'd totally beat death in:
1. Nintendodogs
2. Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon
3. Posting in all of Alfonso's threads (shout-out!).

Spring Bulletin
College courses Buster Bluth should've taken:
1. Cutting the umbilicial cord
2. Girls date their fathers and boys marry their mothers
3. The Beatles (I so would!)

Hassidic Tales, with a Guide to Their Interpretation by the Noted Scholar
Best people to walk into a bar with a rabbi:
1. A priest
2. A preacher
3. A guy

The Gossage- Vardebedian Papers
Best chess players
1. Manny
2. Notgettingenough
3. John Turturro in The Luzhin Defence
4. Alice
5. Ronald Weasley

Notes from the Overfed
Free association in my brain:
1. Some girls are bigger than others.
2. My pet alligator loves this waaay too much
3. Ezra Pound

A Twenties Memory
Authors I would love to name-drop like I knew 'em:
1. Shakespeare
2. Jk Rowling
3. George Orwell

Count Dracula
Ideal dinner guests to a dinner party featuring Count Dracula
1. Elijah the Prophet
2. Those pesky relatives who won't leave.
3. Teachers and priests who invite themselves over.

A Little Louder, Please
Joe Sensitive's brethren.
1. Joe Porn
2. Jake Internet
3. Peeping Tom

Conversations with Helmholtz
Best therapist Christmas gifts.
1. Analrapist pants
2. Child molestation dolls
3. Bob from What About Bob?

Viva Vargas!
Best musicals with exclamation marks in the title:
1. Oliver!
2. HELP!
3. Oklahoma!

The Discovery and Use of the Fake Ink Blot
Placeds I've seen Jesus:
1. My breakfast cereal
2. Rorschach tests
3. Church

Mr. Big
Famous Mr. Bigs in history:
1. Sex in the City
2. Biggie Smalls
3. God

No, that can't be it! I don't think those Wessies are sorry enough yet.

My mom didn't name me Mariel after Mariel Hemingway because she liked her in Woody Allen's film Manhattan. She liked her teen modelling career.

Other names I might've had:
1. Brooke (Shields)
2. Farrah (Fawcett)
3. Barry (Manilow)

Review #2

I loved Woody Allen's Getting Even. I don't care what anybody else says about this book being out of date (it was published in 1972. Some of the stories predate that). I find Woody Allen always surprising and comforting at the same time like Morrissey or The Beatles. Like Morrissey because it seems to be easy to assume that the persona eclipses all other layers. The Beatles because the timelessness is the old and new at the same time. It doesn't eclipse nothin'. There's a reason why other actors who have attempted to "be" Woody have failed (don't think about Kenneth Branagh, Mariel! Nooo). There's a sharpness to the wit and good humor of his material. I don't really know how to describe it. I couldn't "be" Woody. I don't want to be. I really loved laughing out loud and being surprised by a really good line.

How is death, history, god, education, taste, food, etc. ever out of date?
Profile Image for Mohammad Ali Shamekhi.
1,096 reviews312 followers
October 23, 2015

نمره ی واقعی: 2.5

نیمه ی اول کتاب پر از تکه های خنده دار و جذاب بود اما در نیمه ی دوم به ندرت چیز خاصی پیدا می شد. اگر کل کتاب مثل نیمه ی اولش بود سه ستاره واقعا حقش بود. همچنان مشکلات در تلفظ اسامی وجود داشت - چیزی که نشان از ویراستاری ضعیف یا نامطلعه

این کتاب رو بیشتر از "عوارض جانبی 1" خنده دار یافتم. یعنی کتاب زیر
عوارض جانبی 1 by Woody Allen

بخش هایی که جذاب تر یافتمشان، "لیست های لباسشویی مترلینگ"، "خاطرات اشمیت"، "بله، اما آیا ماشین بخار قادر است این کار را بکند؟" و "افسانه های حسیدیک" ( به جز آخریش ) بودند
Profile Image for Veronika Sebechlebská.
381 reviews139 followers
February 25, 2019
Predstavte si tú najabsurdnejšiu vec, akú v časovom limite piatich sekúnd vaša fantázia dokáže vyprodukovať. Preveďte mieru jej absurdity do dvanástkovej sústavy a vzniknuté číslo vynásobte medziročnou mierou inflácie povojnového Nemecka. Výsledok vydeľte druhou odmocninou rýchlosti svetla v slivkovom lekvári (pre čo najpresnejší výsledok sa odporúča použiť lekvár s podielom ovocnej zložky minimálne 70 percent), prirátajte váš vek zaokrúhlený na tri desatinné miesta. Ak vám vyšlo iracionálne číslo, prípadne indigový odtieň modrej, počítali ste správne a máte aspoň približnú predstavu o tom, ako veľmi absurdné sú Allenove poviedky.

Dôležité upozornenia:
Ak vám náhodou vyšlo číslo menšie ako nekonečno, ten zaručene domáci lekvár, čo ste kúpili na farmárskom trhu, je nafarbená posypová soľ z Poľska. Ak vám naopak vyšlo číslo väčšie ako nekonečno, tak to preboha koľko máte rokov??? Každopádne, na fotke vyzeráte mladšie. Ak vám vyšlo 17, prestaňte brať drogy. V prípade, že vám vyšlo rovné nekonečno (alebo jeho párny násobok) znamená to, že ste si na začiatku predstavili strašnú prasačinu. Hanbite sa. Toto čítajú aj deti! Ak vám vyšlo akékoľvek iné číslo, okamžite volajte tiesňovú linku!!!
Profile Image for Xandre.
45 reviews27 followers
November 27, 2022
maybe i want my friends and peers to cancel me
Profile Image for Reza.
62 reviews15 followers
April 15, 2023
من فیلمهای وودی آلن رو بیشتر دوست دارم. طنز آلن یه شکل خاص ساده داره که همه‌چی در عین‌حال که سورئال و بعضا پرت‌و‌پلا به نظر میرسه، کاملا واقعیه، شوخی‌ها دم‌دستی نیست و خواننده رو به فکر فرو می‌بره. برای لذت بردن بیشتر از قلم وودی آلن علاوه بر تمرکز‌ حین خوندن و سراغ ترجمه فارسی نرفتن، شاید آشنایی مختصر با دنیاش خیلی مهم باشه، به این منظور خوبه که قبل از خوندن کتابهاش حداقل سه چهار تا از فیلمهای آلن رو دیده باشید.
یادداشت‌های خاطرات اشمید_ بله، اما آیا ماشین بخار می‌تواند چنین کاری کند؟_ آگهی‌های بهاری_ یاداشت‌های یک پرخور، خوب بودند.
Profile Image for Drew Canole.
3,159 reviews43 followers
April 10, 2023
Perhaps the best of the Woody Allen prose books which I think makes sense - this was published before his film career (which I assume took up most of his best writing efforts). It feels similar to his funny early films like Bananas and Take the Money and Run.

Again, check out the audio book read by Allen.
Profile Image for Hosius Mr.
168 reviews37 followers
April 30, 2020
کتاب مجموعه ای از شوخی ها و انتقادات وودی آلن به موضوعات مختلف هست، بعضی از این شوخی ها بامزه و بعضی دیگه بی سر و ته هستن، که البته ممکنه بخاطر اختلاف فرهنگی و یا حتی ترجمه باشه
Profile Image for Behzad.
652 reviews121 followers
March 1, 2022
طنز وودی آلن دست کم توی نثرهاش خیلی مبتنی به فرهنگ یهودیان آمریکایی معاصر و همچنین سینماست؛ یعنی برای اینکه بشه فهمید کجای قضیه خنده داره و چرا، باید فرهنگ و هنر و سیاست آمریکای معاصر رو، و در بعضی موارد یهودیت رو، بشناسیم.
نکتۀ دیگه اینکه - تا حدودی به دلیل علت بالا- خیلی تن به ترجمه نمیده نثرهاش و همون زبون انگلیسیشو آدم بخونه بهتره.

با در نظر گرفتن دو نکتۀ بالا، خیلی طنز جذابی داره بعضی از جاهای کار؛ و تقریباً همیشه طنزش بر مبنای پارودی و یه جورهایی مسخره کردن یه جور طرز تفکر یا نگرش یا سبک زندگی یا سیاست یا غیره شکل میگیره؛ مثلاً در این کتاب با نقد ادبی و روزنامه نگاری و چریک بازی و مذهب - خیلی شدید و زیاد که بعضاً در ترجمه حذف شده - شوخی میکنه.

کلاً شاید خوندنش بهتر از نخوندنش باشه.
البته خیلی خیلی خیلی از ایده هایی رو که در نثرهاش اومده بعدها در فیلمهاش آورده، مثلاً یکی از نثرهاش کم و بیش کامل اومده تو فیلم نیمه شب در پاریس.
Profile Image for Jeff Crompton.
442 reviews18 followers
August 9, 2012
I picked this one off the shelves a couple of days ago. I've read it a couple of times over the years, but not recently. This time, more than ever, it struck me as brilliant. The humor is a mixture of the intellectual and the ridiculous, and that mixture appeals to me strongly. I particularly enjoyed the final piece, "Mr. Big," which reads like something Mickey Spillane would have written if he had been a philosophy major.
Profile Image for Fateme.
66 reviews48 followers
November 27, 2018
خواننده ی عزیز ،وقتی ده کیلو وزن کم می کنیم ( البته فکر کنم شما به گندگی من نباشید ), شاید بهترین ده کیلویمان را از دست بدهیم که نبوغمان ، انسانیتمان ، عشقمان و صداقتمان در ان نهفته است .


فکر کنم تکلیفم با وودی الن معلوم شد، عاشق ایده های عجیب و غریب داستاناشم که مجبورم میکنه به کتابی که با سختی خوندم یه ستاره اضافه تر بدم .
Profile Image for Ορφέας Μαραγκός.
Author 7 books47 followers
February 18, 2020
Πραγματικά πέθανα στα γέλια! Νομίζω ότι το χιούμορ του είναι τόσο ιδιαίτερο που ή το λατρεύεις ή το μισείς, όπως και τις ταινίες του. αρκετά δε από τα κείμενα του τόμου αυτού υπήρξαν ή εμφανίστηκαν στα φιλμ του.

Το αγάπησα 5/5
Profile Image for Alejandro Saint-Barthélemy.
Author 16 books98 followers
May 17, 2018
Read it years ago. Remember hating it with a passion, namely the part in which Woody destroys his beloved Swedish movie The Seventh Seal.
This book's title was accurately translated into Spanish as Acabemos de una vez por todas con la cultura ("Let's Finish with Culture for Once and for All"), and I get Woody's intention, but I agree with Oscar Wilde more, Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming. This is a fault., and this book felt to me at the time as Woody deepfucking masterpieces with a secuoya of poor taste, which takes me to Dalí's take on modern artists and critics hating Classicism for considering it corny (Like any sewer rat worthy of the name).

It's okay to kill your idols... if your take on them is somewhat reasonable (as in, for example, loving Rimbaud's A Season in Hell for its artistic quality and yet being bothered for it being a coming-of-age hysterical diary of an adolescent genius [many people's case, not mine, 'cause I feel for an exceptionally gifted artist who was one the 5 best poets alive in his time and never earned a dime for it, unlike his pseudo-poetic millionaire followers such as... that Nobel Prize... Bob Dylan!]) and not just a distorted transformation of the original for the mere purpose of destroying it, unless you do it (which is not the case here) with some kind of charm whatsoever (as Picasso's recreations of Velázquez's Las meninas [recreations that I don't like a lot, and so didn't Picasso himself, but that are still interesting as a modern take on them [this is not, again, what Woody does here, or, if so, he fails terribly, at least to me, making something deep such as The Seventh Seal to look like a soap opera [Picasso didn't turn artworks of the past into posters]).
I personally found this rootless American-doughnout-humor-destroying-truffles really sickening (whereas at first glance my comment may look snobby, I happen to love anti-artworks as well as masterpieces, but this book is not Woody Allen being punk on his own terms [Picasso's case, again] but an obnoxious iconoclast, which is another story and Duchamp's La Gioconda with a moustache on it was and always be enough to prove the point).

Television is an excellent system when one has nothing to lose, as in the case with a nomadic and rootless country like the United States, but in Europe the affect of television is that of a bulldozer which reduces culture to the lowest possible denominator. (Marc Fumaroli)

P.S. I do like very much loads of Woody Allen's movies, for the record.
Profile Image for Amene.
814 reviews84 followers
August 11, 2013
(وودی آلن)"فرقی نداره توی کدوم گروه باشی ، قطعا توی اون یکی گروه بیشتر خوش می گذره"
وودی از نوابغه بازهم میگم شک نکنین!
این کتاب در فارسی دو تا ترجمه داره یکی کنت دراکولا و داستان های دیگر و ترجمه ی دیگر که ترجمه نگار شاطریان است با نام "حالا بی حساب شدیم"نمی دونم توی ترجمه دیگر هم این مقدار حذفیات و سه نقطه داخل کروشه که نشانه ی سانسور هست وجود دارد یا نه. ولی با تمام این احوالات این هم یکی دیگر از کارهای معرکه ی وودی آلن نابغه ی دوران ما بود خصوصا دو داستان "عقاید فلسفی من"و"اطلاعیه های بهاری" هرچند که "خاطرات اشمید" هم جدا بی نظیر بود.هجو بسیار زیبایی از خاطرات بازماندگان جنگ جهانی دوم و جریانات رایج در مورد این جنگ.
فرصت خواندن این کتاب رو از دست ندید!
Profile Image for Mojdeh Kh.
63 reviews8 followers
April 23, 2024
«افزون بر آن، یوآخیم لکنت داشت، اما نه زمانی که حرف می‌زد بلکه زمانی که می‌نوشت. مثلا وقتی می‌خواست کلمه‌ی “ولی” را بنویسد، روی کاغذ می‌نوشت “و-و-و-و-ولی”. این اختلال او را بسیار می‌آزرد. »

_از متن کتاب_
Profile Image for Fernanda.
359 reviews111 followers
October 16, 2013
Hacía tiempo que no releía algo, pero es que realmente necesitaba hacerlo.

Es la clase de libros que sólo alguien acostumbrado a su manera de escribir, de su clase de chistes y su humor snob-intelectual, puede disfrutar. De otro modo puede verse como un montón de palabras pegadas y lanzadas al azar. Sin mencionar que los contenidos culturales que poseen son de alto calibre y sin tener un conocimiento previo, al menos de nombres, puede volverse algo tedioso o confuso, o idiota. Lo que más les guste.

Lo que hace a Woody Allen uno de mis escritores preferidos, es su manera de tomar algo que muchos tomamos en serio, en algo risible y ridículo. Sus chistes me producen en ocasiones carcajadas y en otras risas tontas, que bien me costaron unas cuantas miradas escépticas en las áreas públicas. No cualquiera considera posible la comedia escrita y sin duda alguna Allen sabe llegar a la clase de público a la que puede ir dirigida, porque definitivamente Woody Allen no es monedita de oro en el área cinematográfica o escrita.

En fin, cuentos-historias-rambling en forma de una clase de manual. Desde una obra de teatro donde la Muerte juega cartas contra un hombre que busca 24 horas de vida extra, hasta casos policíacos donde un detective es contratado para encontrar a Dios.

Toda una fichita ese Woody Allen. Megalómano y bastante neurótico, pero lo más importante, muy divertido.
Profile Image for Punk.
1,606 reviews298 followers
May 2, 2009
Humor. These absurd little pieces read like they were written by a computer program that learned to write from Mad Libs. The humor is completely random and utterly dry. The stories aren't laugh-out-loud funny -- they're more likely to surprise an admiring snort out of you -- but they are funny (if sometimes funny-strange), crafted with skill and fearlessness (comedy: the one thing Woody Allen isn't afraid of?).

Some favorites: "The Schmeed Memoirs" - Hitler's barber; "Death Knocks" - Death plays gin rummy with Nat Ackerman; "The Gossage-Vardebedian Papers" - passive-aggressive long-distance chess; "A Twenties Memory" - Hemingwayesque, sort of.

Four stars. The style's reminiscent of Kurt Vonnegut's, but without the underlying message. This is absurdity for absurdity's sake.
Profile Image for Mahdi Dolati.
37 reviews3 followers
September 22, 2017
مجموعه‌ای از داستان‌های کوتاه. من از این‌ها بیشتر لذت بردم
خاطرات اشمید
بله، اما آیا ماشین بخار می‌تواند این کار را بکند؟
افسانه‌های حسیدیک با تفسیرشان از دانشمند مشهور
کنت دراکولا
زنده‌باد وارگاس!

بخشی از زندگی کنت ساندویچ، مخترع ساندویچ از داستان: بله، اما آیا ماشین بخار می‌تواند این کار را بکند؟
پس از چهار سال کار طاقت‌فرسا احساس می‌کند که در آستانه پیروزی است، در برابر همکارانش، از اختراعش که شامل دو برش بوقلمون با یک برش نان در وسط می‌شود پرده‌برداری می‌کند. هیچ کس از این اثر او استقبال نمی‌کند، بجز دیوید هیوم که نزدیک بودن اتفاقی برزگ را احساس کرده و او را تشویق می‌نماید. دلگرم از دوستی با این فیلسوف، با توانِ تازه‌ای به کار ادامه می‌دهد.
Profile Image for Rosa Ramôa.
1,570 reviews85 followers
January 9, 2015
Sim, mas a máquina de vapor é capaz de fazer isto?
Podemos fazer uma reflexão filosófica.Podemos ver nisso uma
interpretação do distinto erudito.Boletim da Primavera?
Podemos acabar de vez com a cultura?Será a morte que chama ou é a minha filosofia?
...
Num dia normal na vida do lendário Conde Drácula que espera pelo anoitecer para não levar com os raios de sol que certamente o matariam. Cai a escuridão.Drácula sai.Tratava de um eclipse.
...
E ainda:
-As listas de Metterling
-Uma vista de olhos pelo crime organizado
-As memórias de Schmeed
-Lendas assídicas com um guia para a sua...
-Correspondência Gossage-Vardebedian
-Notas de um sobrealimentado
-Memórias dos anos vinte
-Um pouco mais alto, por favor
-Diálogos com Helmholtz
-Viva Vargas!
-A descoberta e o uso do borrão de tinta falso
-O chefão
...
Livro com vários textos e reflexões fantásticas.HUMOR*
Profile Image for carpe librorum :).
757 reviews55 followers
Read
April 16, 2015
É cómico, absurdo, bastante irónico e sarcástico, apesar de eu ter cabeceado algumas vezes a lê-lo, mas pronto, estava cansada e cheia de sono. Ando a reler Contos do Gin-Tonic e não posso deixar de notar algumas semelhanças. O Woody também tem o seu quê de surreal. Enfim, um clássico incontornável que eu mais tarde ou mais cedo havia de ler. Next.
Profile Image for Julio The Fox.
1,713 reviews117 followers
September 10, 2021
"Kaiser? This is the morgue. You better get down here right away. A guy fitting God's description has just turned up. Omnipotent, omniscient? That's him!" Woody's alter-ego, hard-boiled detective Kaiser Lepowitz (who reappears in "The Whore of Mensa") tracks down a girl existentialist who kills God in the short story "Mr. Big". That's just one of the delights of this collection of absurdist pieces Woody wrote in the Sixties and Seventies. Kierkegaard meets Kafka meets Groucho Marx.
Profile Image for Lorna.
156 reviews89 followers
December 2, 2020
Funny, very funny. The passive aggressive chess game via letter had me in tears of laughter.
Profile Image for Mohsen M.B.
227 reviews32 followers
October 11, 2017
در اینکه این کتاب طنزی فوق‌العاده داره هیچ شکی نیست اما مسئله اینجاست که طنز هرقدر عمیق‌تر بشه، مخاطب مطلع‌تر میطلبه؛ این کتاب دربرگیرنده طیف وسیعی از موضاعاته، جایی با فلاسفه شوخی میکنه، جایی با سران آلمان نازی، سری به انقلابی‌ها میزنه، یهودی‌ها و هنرمندان رو هم بی‌نصیب نمیذاره...ـ
در هر یک از این موضوعات، اشارات فراوانی به افراد، فرهنگ‌های مختلف، نکات اجتماعی و تاریخی وجود داره که برای درک اونها نیاز به آگاهی و مطالعه در اون زمینه است، شاید به همین دلیله که هر فردی با بخشی از کتاب بهتر ارتباط برقرار میکنه.ـ
متاسفانه ترجمه هم کمک چندانی به درک بهتر خواننده نمیکنه، به جای پانویس‌های توضیحی تنها با لیستی از اسامی مواجه میشیم که باید یا از قبل اطلاعاتی ازشون داشته باشیم یا دست به دامان گوگل، به حداقلی بسنده کنیم.ـ
Profile Image for Albus Eugene Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.
587 reviews96 followers
October 21, 2018
Death Knocks ...
Troviamo il Woody Allen delle origini. Quello, per intenderci, di Prendi i soldi e scappa e Provaci ancora Sam con le sue freddure, le sue paranoie e la cultura yiddish. Se non siete in sintonia con il suo humor, lasciate perdere. Ma se ancora sorridete al pensiero delle sue gag in questi film, allora acquistatelo ed andate a leggere subito ‘l’atto unico’ La morte bussa. E leggetelo con l’immagine di Allen intabarrato nel mantello della morte. In rete, si trova il testo della versione in inglese. Non sarà Il settimo sigillo ma ...
[anobii, Feb 2010]
Profile Image for Asha Seth.
Author 2 books349 followers
August 31, 2018
It's not like I do not have a sense of humor, but this attempt at humor was abysmal. I expected much more from this collection but nothing really stuck out. All the while, I went, "Okay, so that's the best you can go!"
Profile Image for Rich Meyer.
Author 50 books57 followers
February 14, 2014
Woody Allen's three books are some of the funniest stuff I've ever read. I. thoroughly enjoyed them as a child, though I did spend a lot of time in the library looking up some of the more obscure references. This Take the Money and Run- and What's Up Tiger Lily-Allen, not the much more serious leaning director of Manhattan or Interiors.

Getting Even is the first collection and probably the most sublime of the three. Definitely worth a read for any fan of erudite comedy.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 373 reviews

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