What do you think?
Rate this book
Question Your Thinking, Change The World: Quotations from Byron Katie
In this powerful book of quotations, Byron Katie talks about the most essential issues that face us all—love, sex, and relationships; health, sickness, and death; parents and children; work and money; and self-realization. The profound, lighthearted wisdom embodied within is not theoretical; it is absolutely authentic.
Not only will this book help you on many specific issues, but it will point you toward your own wisdom and will encourage you to question your own mind, using the four simple yet incredibly powerful questions of Katie’s process of self-inquiry, called The Work. Katie is a living example of the clear, all-embracing love that is our true identity. Because she has thoroughly questioned her own mind, her words shine with the joy of understanding.
“People used to ask me if I was enlightened,” she says, “and I would say, ‘I don’t know anything about that. I’m just someone who knows the difference between what hurts and what doesn’t.’ I’m someone who wants only what is. To meet as a friend each concept that arose turned out to be my freedom.”
Not only will this book help you on many specific issues, but it will point you toward your own wisdom and will encourage you to question your own mind, using the four simple yet incredibly powerful questions of Katie’s process of self-inquiry, called The Work. Katie is a living example of the clear, all-embracing love that is our true identity. Because she has thoroughly questioned her own mind, her words shine with the joy of understanding.
“People used to ask me if I was enlightened,” she says, “and I would say, ‘I don’t know anything about that. I’m just someone who knows the difference between what hurts and what doesn’t.’ I’m someone who wants only what is. To meet as a friend each concept that arose turned out to be my freedom.”
236 pages, Paperback
First published October 1, 2007
169 people are currently reading
796 people want to read
About the author
Byron Katie
107 books1,150 followersByron Kathleen Mitchell, better known as Byron Katie, is an American speaker, writer, and founder of a method of self-inquiry called The Work of Byron Katie or simply The Work.
Katie became severely depressed in her early thirties. She was a businesswoman and mother who lived in Barstow, a small town in the high desert of southern California. For nearly a decade she spiraled down into paranoia, rage, self-loathing, and constant thoughts of suicide; for the last two years she was often unable to leave her bedroom. Then, one morning in February 1986, while in a halfway house for women with eating disorders, she experienced a life-changing realization. In that moment, she says,
Soon afterward people started seeking her out and asking how they could find the freedom that they saw in her. As reports spread about the transformations they felt they were experiencing through The Work, she was invited to present it publicly elsewhere in California, then throughout the United States, and eventually in Europe and across the world.
The Work has been compared to the Socratic method and to Zen meditation, but Katie is not aligned with any religion or tradition. She describes self-inquiry as an embodiment, in words, of the wordless questioning that had woken up in her on that February morning. She has shared The Work with millions of people at public events, in prisons, hospitals, churches, V. A. treatment centers, corporations, universities, and schools. Participants at her weekend workshops, the nine-day School for The Work, and the twenty-eight-day residential Turnaround House report profound experiences and lasting transformations. “Katie’s events are riveting to watch,” the Times of London reported. Eckhart Tolle calls The Work “a great blessing for our planet.” And Time magazine named Katie a “spiritual innovator for the new millennium.”
Katie is married to the writer and translator Stephen Mitchell, who co-wrote Loving What Is, A Thousand Names for Joy, and A Mind at Home with Itself. I Need Your Love—Is That True? was written with Michael Katz, her literary agent at the time. Her other books are Question Your Thinking, Change The World; Who Would You Be Without Your Story?; Peace in the Present Moment, with Eckhart Tolle, A Friendly Universe, and, for children, Tiger-Tiger, Is It True? and The Four Questions. On her website thework.com, you will find detailed instructions about The Work; video and audio clips; Katie's calendar of events; event registration; free downloads, including the Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet; interviews; apps for your iPhone, iPad, or Android; a free newsletter; a free helpline; and the online store. You might also want to visit Katie's Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook pages, and her live-streaming webcast page, livewithbyronkatie.com.
Katie became severely depressed in her early thirties. She was a businesswoman and mother who lived in Barstow, a small town in the high desert of southern California. For nearly a decade she spiraled down into paranoia, rage, self-loathing, and constant thoughts of suicide; for the last two years she was often unable to leave her bedroom. Then, one morning in February 1986, while in a halfway house for women with eating disorders, she experienced a life-changing realization. In that moment, she says,
I discovered that when I believed my thoughts, I suffered, but that when I didn’t believe them, I didn’t suffer, and that this is true for every human being. Freedom is as simple as that. I found that suffering is optional. I found a joy within me that has never disappeared, not for a single moment.
Soon afterward people started seeking her out and asking how they could find the freedom that they saw in her. As reports spread about the transformations they felt they were experiencing through The Work, she was invited to present it publicly elsewhere in California, then throughout the United States, and eventually in Europe and across the world.
The Work has been compared to the Socratic method and to Zen meditation, but Katie is not aligned with any religion or tradition. She describes self-inquiry as an embodiment, in words, of the wordless questioning that had woken up in her on that February morning. She has shared The Work with millions of people at public events, in prisons, hospitals, churches, V. A. treatment centers, corporations, universities, and schools. Participants at her weekend workshops, the nine-day School for The Work, and the twenty-eight-day residential Turnaround House report profound experiences and lasting transformations. “Katie’s events are riveting to watch,” the Times of London reported. Eckhart Tolle calls The Work “a great blessing for our planet.” And Time magazine named Katie a “spiritual innovator for the new millennium.”
Katie is married to the writer and translator Stephen Mitchell, who co-wrote Loving What Is, A Thousand Names for Joy, and A Mind at Home with Itself. I Need Your Love—Is That True? was written with Michael Katz, her literary agent at the time. Her other books are Question Your Thinking, Change The World; Who Would You Be Without Your Story?; Peace in the Present Moment, with Eckhart Tolle, A Friendly Universe, and, for children, Tiger-Tiger, Is It True? and The Four Questions. On her website thework.com, you will find detailed instructions about The Work; video and audio clips; Katie's calendar of events; event registration; free downloads, including the Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet; interviews; apps for your iPhone, iPad, or Android; a free newsletter; a free helpline; and the online store. You might also want to visit Katie's Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook pages, and her live-streaming webcast page, livewithbyronkatie.com.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 29 of 32 reviews
April 12, 2014
A friend lent me this book in Danish, so I read it in that language. It is a collection of selected texts from the work of Byron Katie.
I’ve previously read this author’s book “Loving what is” and much appreciated it.
It is Katie’s view that the world would be transformed for the better, were we all to use the Work – her method of posing ourselves the following four questions whenever we have a problematic thought:
1) Is it true?
2) Can you really know that it is true?
3) How do you react when you believe that thought?
4) Who would you be without that thought?
When you’ve asked yourself these questions, try finding opposites to the sentence you wrote/your problematic thought. For example, if your problem is “My husband doesn’t listen to me”, try saying “My husband listens to me”, “I don’t listen to myself” and “I don’t listen to my husband”.
Katie’s basic premise is that the universe does not make mistakes. This means that whatever happens is what was supposed to happen, what needs to happen. Thus everything that happens to you or anybody else is good, even though your baby dies, your legs get chopped off or everyone in your village is massacred (note , she doesn’t use these latter two examples in the book). However, for some Katie’s statements are provocative.
When a suitcase falls on top of Katie’s head when she’s sitting in a plane, she says it “felt like a kiss”. She continues “How could I know that I needed a bang on the head? Because that was what I got!”
Katie tells us that everyone in one’s life, everyone one encounters (everybody in the world, actually) is God in disguise, and will show you all you need to see. When you see your partner as God, your work with The Work will be simple.
The worst loss you have ever experienced is the greatest gift you can get.
All our thoughts are projections. We are the only one here. There are no others here. This world doesn’t even exist.
The book consists of small extracts from other books, and thus can seem a bit disjointed, but the extracts all have the same theme of questioning one’s thoughts. There were quite a few parts of the book that didn’t seem to me to make sense. This may have had to do with the Danish translation, but then again Katie herself writes somewhere in the book that many have told her that some of what she says is nonsense, and she seems to admit that sometimes she talks “nonsense” or what could be construed as such.
In the books Katie discusses some of her own problems with her offspring. Now however both her children are doing the Work.
I felt good while reading the book because I kept being reminded of how to let go of difficult situations by accepting the reality of things. Katie’s work has the same precept as that of David R. Hawkins, among others – to let go of resistance and love everything, accept everything. When you do this, it is possible for healing to occur.
I recommend that you read the book – it will help you to manage your life with acceptance and joy.
I’ve previously read this author’s book “Loving what is” and much appreciated it.
It is Katie’s view that the world would be transformed for the better, were we all to use the Work – her method of posing ourselves the following four questions whenever we have a problematic thought:
1) Is it true?
2) Can you really know that it is true?
3) How do you react when you believe that thought?
4) Who would you be without that thought?
When you’ve asked yourself these questions, try finding opposites to the sentence you wrote/your problematic thought. For example, if your problem is “My husband doesn’t listen to me”, try saying “My husband listens to me”, “I don’t listen to myself” and “I don’t listen to my husband”.
Katie’s basic premise is that the universe does not make mistakes. This means that whatever happens is what was supposed to happen, what needs to happen. Thus everything that happens to you or anybody else is good, even though your baby dies, your legs get chopped off or everyone in your village is massacred (note , she doesn’t use these latter two examples in the book). However, for some Katie’s statements are provocative.
When a suitcase falls on top of Katie’s head when she’s sitting in a plane, she says it “felt like a kiss”. She continues “How could I know that I needed a bang on the head? Because that was what I got!”
Katie tells us that everyone in one’s life, everyone one encounters (everybody in the world, actually) is God in disguise, and will show you all you need to see. When you see your partner as God, your work with The Work will be simple.
The worst loss you have ever experienced is the greatest gift you can get.
All our thoughts are projections. We are the only one here. There are no others here. This world doesn’t even exist.
The book consists of small extracts from other books, and thus can seem a bit disjointed, but the extracts all have the same theme of questioning one’s thoughts. There were quite a few parts of the book that didn’t seem to me to make sense. This may have had to do with the Danish translation, but then again Katie herself writes somewhere in the book that many have told her that some of what she says is nonsense, and she seems to admit that sometimes she talks “nonsense” or what could be construed as such.
In the books Katie discusses some of her own problems with her offspring. Now however both her children are doing the Work.
I felt good while reading the book because I kept being reminded of how to let go of difficult situations by accepting the reality of things. Katie’s work has the same precept as that of David R. Hawkins, among others – to let go of resistance and love everything, accept everything. When you do this, it is possible for healing to occur.
I recommend that you read the book – it will help you to manage your life with acceptance and joy.
July 10, 2012
Always good ... Katie makes you think smart ...
September 18, 2015
I keep a paper copy of this in my car and read it whenever I get a moment. Some of her most well recognized quotes to keep you thinking
August 21, 2019
"If one of my children were to say, “I hate you,” I would say, “Let me be with that a minute. I understand—look how I treated you all those years. I understand that. What can I do? What do you suggest?” If he or she said, “Screw you with your spiritual talk! I never want to see you again,” I wouldn’t say lovingly, “I understand.” I’m a listener. I go inside and understand. I don’t have to share that understanding with them at that point. If I said, “I love you,” it would be like taking a knife and sticking it into their heart."
_ Byron Katie
"Your child says you’re stupid. He could be right! I can go there. Who knows how to raise a child? All of us are pretty stupid about that. All he said is that you’re stupid—why would you argue with that? Who would be stupid enough to argue with someone they love, if they had another way? You could just say, “Sweetheart, what do you suggest? I do feel stupid. I love you, and I don’t know how to do it.” That’s the truth of it. We’d all act intelligently if we knew how. And that’s the power of this Work—living the turnarounds, living the answers that we find here. You could go home and say to your son, “You’ve been telling me I’m stupid, and I found it. I was the last to know. And what I’m stupid about is that I don’t know how to love you. I need your help. I want to hear you.”"
_ Byron Katie
"I can be with my son and say, “Sweetheart, I see your pain. What can I do? I love you. If you can see a role for me to take here, to help you in any way, I’ll do it. I love you. I’m here.” And then I can hold him. But fear can’t end fear. My pain can’t end his pain. And if he says, “Oh no, Mom, you can’t help me. Go away,” then I hear him. Good. How clear is that! So I go away. That leaves him to heal himself. He’s with the master. I don’t teach him that I’m the source of his happiness. That would be crazy. What would happen when I die? He’d lose the source of his happiness. To give him back himself—that’s love."
_ Byron Katie
"Even though my children may project it at times, there are no conditions. If they hate me, good. If they love me, good. I’m their story. Without their story, I don’t exist."
_ Byron Katie
_ Byron Katie
"Your child says you’re stupid. He could be right! I can go there. Who knows how to raise a child? All of us are pretty stupid about that. All he said is that you’re stupid—why would you argue with that? Who would be stupid enough to argue with someone they love, if they had another way? You could just say, “Sweetheart, what do you suggest? I do feel stupid. I love you, and I don’t know how to do it.” That’s the truth of it. We’d all act intelligently if we knew how. And that’s the power of this Work—living the turnarounds, living the answers that we find here. You could go home and say to your son, “You’ve been telling me I’m stupid, and I found it. I was the last to know. And what I’m stupid about is that I don’t know how to love you. I need your help. I want to hear you.”"
_ Byron Katie
"I can be with my son and say, “Sweetheart, I see your pain. What can I do? I love you. If you can see a role for me to take here, to help you in any way, I’ll do it. I love you. I’m here.” And then I can hold him. But fear can’t end fear. My pain can’t end his pain. And if he says, “Oh no, Mom, you can’t help me. Go away,” then I hear him. Good. How clear is that! So I go away. That leaves him to heal himself. He’s with the master. I don’t teach him that I’m the source of his happiness. That would be crazy. What would happen when I die? He’d lose the source of his happiness. To give him back himself—that’s love."
_ Byron Katie
"Even though my children may project it at times, there are no conditions. If they hate me, good. If they love me, good. I’m their story. Without their story, I don’t exist."
_ Byron Katie
January 21, 2023
The answer I was seeking
This book gave me the answer I was looking for. I know the importance of what prophet Mohammed peace be upon him said: "Be satisfied with what God has given you and you become the richest of people"
Every since I learned this saying and I have been looking and searching for "HOW to be satisfied" because I wanted to be the richest of people. This book not only showed me how. It also cured my fear of old age, my fear of illness and my fear of suffering. I am Home.
I have read all Byron Katie's books. Only one left which I will buy now. Tiger Tiger is it true? The work for kids.
Thank you Byron Katie you have given me what money cannot buy.
This book gave me the answer I was looking for. I know the importance of what prophet Mohammed peace be upon him said: "Be satisfied with what God has given you and you become the richest of people"
Every since I learned this saying and I have been looking and searching for "HOW to be satisfied" because I wanted to be the richest of people. This book not only showed me how. It also cured my fear of old age, my fear of illness and my fear of suffering. I am Home.
I have read all Byron Katie's books. Only one left which I will buy now. Tiger Tiger is it true? The work for kids.
Thank you Byron Katie you have given me what money cannot buy.
July 24, 2010
I actually didn't finish reading this one...I found it to be negative and filled with bad logic. Not a fan.
January 11, 2025
some thoughts really resonated with me, others were less impactful
Read
October 23, 2025In this powerful book of quotations, Byron Katie talks about the most essential issues that face us all—love, sex, and relationships; health, sickness, and death; parents and children; work and money; and self-realization. The profound, lighthearted wisdom embodied within is not theoretical; it is absolutely authentic. Not only will this book help you on many specific issues, but it will point you toward your own wisdom and will encourage you to question your own mind, using the four simple yet incredibly powerful questions of Katie’s process of self-inquiry, called The Work. Katie is a living example of the clear, all-embracing love that is our true identity. Because she has thoroughly questioned her own mind, her words shine with the joy of understanding. “People used to ask me if I was enlightened,” she says, “and I would say, ‘I don’t know anything about that. I’m just someone who knows the difference between what hurts and what doesn’t.’ I’m someone who wants only what is. To meet as a friend each concept that arose turned out to be my freedom.”
February 16, 2020
“The Work” is a general classification of her method. The core of the method is this:
When you find that a thought is creating pain, anxiety, stress, whatever word you want to use, it’s time to challenge that thought. She outlines 4 questions to do that.
Example stressful thought: “My husband doesn’t listen to me.”
The four questions: Is it true? Can you absolutely know that it’s true? How do you react when you believe that thought? Who would you be without the thought?
You can read the full review on my blog at https://www.jordancooperman.com/revie...
When you find that a thought is creating pain, anxiety, stress, whatever word you want to use, it’s time to challenge that thought. She outlines 4 questions to do that.
Example stressful thought: “My husband doesn’t listen to me.”
The four questions: Is it true? Can you absolutely know that it’s true? How do you react when you believe that thought? Who would you be without the thought?
You can read the full review on my blog at https://www.jordancooperman.com/revie...
October 6, 2021
I have never seen life so simple, just as it is. I love this perspective, it gives me so much peace. So many quotes that are so meaningful, but the one I choose is: “I am a lover of what is, not because Im a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality.” I really recommend it, as it is food of the soul. Through inquiry, we can get anywhere we want. ✨
January 2, 2023
Byron Katie is a marvel and one of the great healers of our time. Her questions are pure medicine and reading this book will unhinge your mind from even the stickiest binds - especially with regards to interpersonal relationships - which are one of her specialties. This is one I will be reading and referencing again and again.
August 17, 2020
Library book- There are very few books that I DNF, unfortunately this is one! There were a few nuggets that resonated with me but the majority were contrary to my way of thinking and just couldn't get around to the authors philosophy.
September 17, 2017
I love the 'way out there' thinking of this book, that brings me new perspectives. Empowering and calming.
February 28, 2018
I honestly can’t tell if this woman is ahead of her time or just completely insane. Only time will tell...
March 15, 2021
Notable quotables
All of BK's very best conceptual gems. Gets right to the point of reminding me what I know. Concise diamonds of peace.
All of BK's very best conceptual gems. Gets right to the point of reminding me what I know. Concise diamonds of peace.
November 14, 2023
Yeah I don’t really know about this one. I will not be questioning my thinking at least not in the way this book wants me to
April 29, 2024
Lo leí un poco a fuerza, pero se me hizo muy práctico, es otra forma de perder aplicar el estoicismo.
June 25, 2025
Gives peace and inspiration.
September 17, 2012
I actually really liked this book, and in many ways it reminded me of as well as pointed out things I (almost) forgot. It's a compilation of quotes on subjects she has dealt with in more detail in other books, but my first read of hers.
Byron Katie's overall message is that it is not reality that is our problem or what brings us suffering it is our rejection of reality, of what is, that does and our thoughts, beliefs and stories about reality, ourselves, others, and what it all should be like. That is a powerfull message.
Byron Katie is known for 4 questions intended on exploring our thoughts and dissolving the pain connected to them, 4 questions also referred to as 'The Work'.
They are as follows:
1) Is that true?
2) Can you really know that it is true?
3) Hw do you react when you believe in that thought?
4) Who would you be without that thought?
One of the weaknesses of this book, in my opinion, is the way Katie refers to these questions as if they are Salvation, and sometimes the only way to it.
I dont like preaching, and I dont believe in one way to peace of mind and heart (and one way only). I dont doubt these questions works for Katie and many other people, but I also believe that for some people these questions wont work that same magic, and yet they can still get to a point of freedom, love and lightness, though their road might be different and it takes something else to open their eyes.
These 4 questions are Katies referencepoint and how she handles problems, and how she believes we can all move beoynd them.
To me though, it wasn't these questions that stood out as powerfull, but the whole thought concept and approach to life that Katie has, the way she looks at life, love and problems, and the examples she gives us on how it is also possible to live life.
The message of loving and accepting reality, regardless of what it looks like, knowing it is right, because it is, what is , is strong and powerful, and one i believe too, to be an essential step in ridding us of painful thoughts and emotions. Katie asks several times "how can I know that x/y/Z is right for me? Because that is, how it is."
Now that is something I will take with me and genourously apply to everything I encounter :)
Byron Katie's overall message is that it is not reality that is our problem or what brings us suffering it is our rejection of reality, of what is, that does and our thoughts, beliefs and stories about reality, ourselves, others, and what it all should be like. That is a powerfull message.
Byron Katie is known for 4 questions intended on exploring our thoughts and dissolving the pain connected to them, 4 questions also referred to as 'The Work'.
They are as follows:
1) Is that true?
2) Can you really know that it is true?
3) Hw do you react when you believe in that thought?
4) Who would you be without that thought?
One of the weaknesses of this book, in my opinion, is the way Katie refers to these questions as if they are Salvation, and sometimes the only way to it.
I dont like preaching, and I dont believe in one way to peace of mind and heart (and one way only). I dont doubt these questions works for Katie and many other people, but I also believe that for some people these questions wont work that same magic, and yet they can still get to a point of freedom, love and lightness, though their road might be different and it takes something else to open their eyes.
These 4 questions are Katies referencepoint and how she handles problems, and how she believes we can all move beoynd them.
To me though, it wasn't these questions that stood out as powerfull, but the whole thought concept and approach to life that Katie has, the way she looks at life, love and problems, and the examples she gives us on how it is also possible to live life.
The message of loving and accepting reality, regardless of what it looks like, knowing it is right, because it is, what is , is strong and powerful, and one i believe too, to be an essential step in ridding us of painful thoughts and emotions. Katie asks several times "how can I know that x/y/Z is right for me? Because that is, how it is."
Now that is something I will take with me and genourously apply to everything I encounter :)
May 30, 2011
Awesome book. One of my first iBooks on the iPad and I have enjoyed the highlight feature. Katie Byron is grounded and simple. Her prism of the chatter that continuously leads us to experience emotions and hardship, is so solid that it really works. She is amazing in that she avoids completely any link with religions, cults, philosophers, etc or any authority.
She can undo alot of pain and lead you out of many dead ends. The only requirement is that you yourself decide to inquire. She will provide the guidelines for the inquiry.
If you indulge in this inquiry, you will become aware of the change and everybody who you come in contact with.
She can undo alot of pain and lead you out of many dead ends. The only requirement is that you yourself decide to inquire. She will provide the guidelines for the inquiry.
If you indulge in this inquiry, you will become aware of the change and everybody who you come in contact with.
Read
May 31, 2010Are you always seeking answers, the "WHY" Katie Byron is your personal therapist. She has a great sense of humor, and provides helps cut through the our fantasy of love and build healthier relationships. Katie provides practical ways to examine why and who we are and answer the nagging questions that keep us stuck, with simple ways to look at life questions and problems. Great little book.
May 31, 2011
I like Byron Katie in general. This book is more of a recap of her other teachings and therefore not quite as valuable. Nevertheless, it is concise, gives you sort of a "Thought for the Day" type of format. Byron Katie kinds of tells it likes she sees it, so if you need a quick kick, she is the one to go to. Empowering and pragmatic.
September 19, 2007
Semua bermula dari pikiran anda, kadang pikiran lebih kuat mengendalikan setap keputusan kita..dan ternyata banyak yg tidak kita sadari, kita terjangkiti pola pikir negatif..so question your thinking..Jika membuat kamu lebih nyaman..do it..tetapi jika terasa????question Your Thinking..
December 16, 2008
It really is amazing how powerful our thoughts about things are...
May 21, 2009
interesting concepts, makes you think
July 29, 2011
Great book to flip to when you are having an issue with stressful thoughts. Good reminders to help you get back to reality!
September 27, 2011
Love Love Love it!
January 2, 2012
Love this book! Even though I finished it months ago... I still pick it up and find jewels to read when I feel a bit out of sorts.
September 6, 2014
A book that you can come back to over and over again. Even when you just need a quick smile for the soul you can open to any page and get just that!!
Displaying 1 - 29 of 32 reviews