The Healthy Dead

The Tales of Bauchelain and Korbal Broach #2

by Steven Erikson

Things are going all too well in the city of Quaint. So well, in fact, that something has to be done. The zeal for goodness can be catastrophic, and no-one knows this better than Bauchelain and Korbal Broach, two stalwart champions of all things bad. For the innumerable citizens of Quaint, driven to neurotic distraction and overwhelmed with good living, desperation breeds nefarious bed-mates, and before long the two homicidal necromancers — and their beleaguered and substance-addled manservant, Emancipor Reese — find themselves ensnared in a scheme to bring goodness into disrepute, if not utter ruination. To Reese's bemusement, laudable motivations are, in a bizarre twist, uncharacteristically relevant to Master Bauchelain, although, of course, the payment of a chest filled with gold helps. Even so, sometimes, it turns out, one must bring down civilization... in the name of civilization.

Skyhorse Publishing, under our Night Shade and Talos imprints, is proud to publish a broad range of titles for readers interested in science fiction (space opera, time travel, hard SF, alien invasion, near-future dystopia), fantasy (grimdark, sword and sorcery, contemporary urban fantasy, steampunk, alternative history), and horror (zombies, vampires, and the occult and supernatural), and much more. While not every title we publish becomes a New York Times bestseller, a national bestseller, or a Hugo or Nebula award-winner, we are committed to publishing quality books from a diverse group of authors.

Genres: Fantasy, Fiction, Epic Fantasy, Dark Fantasy, Short Stories, Novella, Horror

128 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2004

About the author

Steven Erikson is the pseudonym of Steve Rune Lundin, a Canadian novelist, who was educated and trained as both an archaeologist and anthropologist. His best-known work is the series, the Malazan Book of the Fallen.

http://us.macmillan.com/author/steven...

Reviews

[Matt's Fantasy Book Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

Check out my YouTube channel where I show my instant reactions upon finishing fantasy books.

4.5/5 stars. Somehow Steven Erikson hits yet another home-run with his dynamic trio of Bachelain, Korbal Broach, and Emancipor Reese.

I'm legitimately shocked at how good these little books continue to be, and I continually get reminded that Steven Erikson really is in a class of his own as a fantasy writer. In my opinion, Erikson is the greatest epic fantasy, and the greatest grimdark fantasy writer of all time. And somehow in his spare time he decided to become the funniest fantasy writer of all time as well.

I almost feel like it's blasphemy to say that as I am a huge Terry Pratchett fan, but in terms of both laughs per minute, and the devilishly ingenious jokes, Erikson takes the cake.

It's still strange to me that the combination of horror, comedy, and fantasy could be molded together to make something not just good, but great - but I need to stop questioning it and just keep on enjoying these books.

Whether you are a Malazan fan or not, these books are simply wonderful.

[Samir · Rating 3 out of 5]

This short macabre frenzy is a must read if you are a true Malazan fan. This was the funniest chaotic adventure of Bauchelain, Korbal and Emancipor Reese I've read. Who knew that healthy lifestyle could cause so much trouble?

[Karl · Rating 4 out of 5]

Installment #2 of Steven Erikson's alternate series is titled "The Healthy Dead". It is a tale of Bauchelain and Korbal Broach, a couple of wild and wacky necromancers out to disturb the peace. In this chapter the city is taken over by a king who demands everyone become perfectly healthy, with no vices, lust or bad habits.

So something must be done! Mr. Erikson allows you to share in the hi-jinx to shine a bad light on all things good.

For those interested in such things, chronologically, this novella is set after "The Wurms of Blearmouth" and before "Crack'd Pot Trail".

This hardcover is copy 28 of 400 copies signed and numbered, by Steven Erikson and Paul Kearney who wrote the introduction.

[Sade · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm still curious about what role Korbal Broach & Bauchelain play in the bigger picture or if they even play a bigger role. Are these stories on thes delectable duo just Erickson's way of showing his readers his wicked humour? i'm beginning to think so.

..."Desire for goodness Mister Reese, leads to earnestness. Earnestness in turn leads to sanctimonios self righteousness, which breeds intolerance, upon which harsh judgement quickly follows , yielding dire punishment, inflicting general terror and paranoia, eventually culminating in revolt, leading to chaos, then dissolution and thus the end of civilisation"

Lol look i'm convinced someone kept bugging Erikson to exercise more or add more vegetables to his food and he got annoyed and decided to write a tongue in cheek Korbal B & Bauchelain novel just to convey his feelings. I totally enjoyed the novella though, highly entertaining as all the novels in this itty bitty weird volume has been.
The book basically opens up in a place called Quaint where after the death of their previous King, the new king in power becomes obsessed with health. What follows is Erikson's trademark macabre humour which is top notch. Really enjoyed this novella.

#FitFam #VegetablesAreGoodForYou #DieHealthy

Enjoy!!

[Mayim de Vries · Rating 3 out of 5]

On the lethal side effects of ortorectic behaviours. Must read for lifestyle fascists.

[Scott Hitchcock · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think I need to re-read the early ones. These seem to get better as you get a feel for the over verbose nature they tend to have. Think Kruppe only evil for those who have read the main series and that flows into the narration as well as the characters but it can be hilarious.

[Jeffrey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Finished The Healthy Dead. The fourth of seven Tales of Bauchelain and Korbal Broach novellas that I have read. They are set in SE's Malazan world, but follow 2 necromancers, Bauchelain and Korbal Broach, and their manservant, Emancipor Reese. These novellas are dark comedies as opposed to the more dramatic series of novels. They really hit my sense of humor sweet spot

In The Healthy Dead, B & KB & ER come upon the town of Quaint where a new king has outlawed unhealthy living. The town demons of vice bribe B & KB to rectify the situation although they don't really need the encouragement. Hilarity ensues with a good dose of social commentary.

[Sina Tavousi Masrour · Rating 4 out of 5]

Finally, scientific proof of how terrible excercising really is.

[Ty MaC · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5/5

Tons of fun. Funny short story. Think this is the best of Emancipor Reese.

Love the quote that starts the story.

"Warning to lifestyle fascists everywhere. Don't read this or you'll go blind."

[Bryan Brown · Rating 3 out of 5]

On reread in continuity order I see no reason to change my previous rating or review. In chronological order it makes a bit more sense about what Bauchelain and Korbal Broach are fleeing from, but other than that it has nearly no connection to the larger story. Enjoyable nonetheless.

******Original Review********

This tale is set in the Malazan world but is so remote and so different there is no real continuity other than Bauchaelain and Korbal Broach and poor Mancy the Luckless. In addition it feels a bit like a writing exercise and the teacher gave the class the topic: What would happen if a tyrant only imposed healthy and good things upon his people?

Well that concept is played to it's most outrageous extreme in this story and the titular wizards are hired to depose the tyrant and return the city to it's normal form of corruption and tyranny. The story is amusing enough to be likeable, but it's very light hearted compared to most of the Malazan world stories.

It's a very short novella and may be easiest to find in one of the collections of shorter stories.

[Andy Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

My favorite short story of Erikson by a mile. Hilarious and insightful.

[Omar Amat · Rating 4 out of 5]

the best short story so far concerning B & KB, perfect parody, well if you like to make fun of virtue signaling

[Rob · Rating 5 out of 5]

...One of the things I like most about these novellas is that it forces Erikson to be more concise. The restrictions in length force him to focus and in this novella it works very well. Where Blood Follows feels a bit rushed at the end, this novella feels exactly long enough. Quite an achievement for a man who also produces sprawling 300,000 words novels almost like clockwork. The Healthy Dead just ticks all the boxes for me, I think it is a little gem. And the best thing is that you can read these novellas without having the read the ten huge volumes of the main series. It is a great way to sample Erikson's writing. I can't wait to see where Erikson is taking the story of the two necromancers and their unfortunate manservant.

Full Random Comments review

[Juraj · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Warning to lifestyle fascists everywhere. Don't read this or you'll go blind."

One of the best novellas I've ever read. A beautiful mirror of our "wanna-be-healthy" and socially just society that really doesn't work and... well as is stated in the novella so many times... will lead to the end of civilization :D
The characters have great witty names too - king Necrotus the Nihile or Nauseo Sloven.
It's probably the best way to introduce Erikson to somebody because it's not as long as GotM but it still contains the best aspects of his writing. I laughed aloud several times, too. Definitely the best novella from the first three and it should've won some awards when it was released.

The message it contains is timeless and wraped up in a great and funny story.

Yoghurt!

[Kristen · Rating 4 out of 5]

The society was well-developed and intriguing without containing pages and pages of backstory and history. Many fantasy authors have written about the all-powerful corrupt ruler, and reading about the problems caused by a ruler who took goodness to a tyrannical extreme was an interesting change of pace. King Macrotus may have had good intentions, but restricting his people for their own good did not endear him to anyone.

Full review:

http://fantasycafe.blogspot.com/2009/...

[Artavazdah · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was the best short story so far, it was funny, page-turning, compelling, and more!
.
The plot is about a city where people who die unhealthy, their bodies are crucified outside the city, and people who are seriously injured during working are declared " Holy Saints of Labour ", everything which is deemed harmful be it alcohol or meat or fume materials are declared illegal and you can probably judge how terrible the city is becoming day after day!
Our main cast is approached by two Saints of Labour to change this status quo, thus the story begins.

[Stefan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well, this was something... fresh.
Loved it. Highly satirical and overall enjoyable.

[Mason Frierson · Rating 4 out of 5]

If Steven Erikson did not exist, we would have to invent him. I've been immersed in a large number of fantasy series consisting of large numbers of doorstop-sized novels for years now. And while a number of them range from the good to the utterly fantastic, I don't believe I have ever come across one that has the gritty realism and emotional impact of Erikson's Malazan Book of the Fallen. In a genre that is currently seeing some of the best writing in its history, Erikson is head and shoulders above the rest.

This is exactly why The Healthy Dead is such a pleasant surprise. While it takes place in the same world as the Malazan books, and its pair of protagonists are characters in that series, it throws the realism aspect to the wind. It's also a hundred twenty-eight pages, and small pages with a large font at that; you can finish The Healthy Dead in a single sitting (whereas a typical Malazan book, assuming you have a job, will take you weeks). It is a whimsical flight of fancy, a neat, tidy, gory, amusing little morality play that's surprisingly understated-- especially when put up against, for example, the past few books we've seen in Goodkind's Sword of Truth series.

The parallel goes beyond the fact of the moralizing itself. Both Goodkind and Erikson are on about the same set of morals, and approach their particular soapbox from the same basic direction. The difference is that where Goodkind fails in his attempt to get his point across (stopping the action to have one's characters moralize at the audience is, by definition, a failure), Erikson succeeds by taking the opposite tack; the moral of the story is in the actions and reactions of his characters to the setting.

The setting, in this case, is the remote town of Quaint, where the sorceror Bauchelain and his companion, the necromancer Korbal Broach, find themselves approached by two citizens who ask them to find a way to depose their tyrannical king. The king's tyranny is of a quite novel sort (at least, in a fantasy world); he is entirely convinced that the best way to make his citizens happy is to stop them from indulging in vice, and so had banned such things as brothels, alcohol, gambling, and red meat. The citizens, while healthier than they were (at least, when they're not dying of a particular complication of their new healthiness, which I'll leave it to the reader to snicker over), are dying of ennui. They want their old tyrannical despot back. The problem is, said tyrannical despot happens to be hanging on a pike outside the wall. Enter Korbal Broach.

The parallels with modern life couldn't be more obvious, and Erikson's characters react to them much as modern humans do. His solution to the problem is utterly unrealistic, and the stuff fantasies are made of. Good fantasies, though; no one wanders around preaching about the evils of tyranny and the importance of freedom of choice. Still, a straightforward narrative would be a good fantasy story, but not really on the same level of delight one gets from a full-fledged Malazan novel. What raises it to the heights we expect from Erikson are the little details he throws in, like the King's Rube Goldbergian exercise machine, the ex-harlot Knight of Purity, and most of all, the personified Seven Deadly Sins (well, four of them, anyway; one assumes the others starved at one point), who are wonderful characters in their own right.

This is a face of Erikson not seen in his larger works. It lacks the emotional punch of, say, Memories of Ice, but that's to be expected, shorter and not nearly as somber as it is. It's still wonderful. If you're a fan of the Malazan books, pick this up at your earliest convenience.

[Walter Eadie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Although all of the Malazan books collectively have become my absolute favorite fantasy series, surpassing (much to my surprise) even the incredible Stormlight Archives, there is something about these shorter (and admittedly more digestible) tales of Bauchelain and Korbal Broach that just feel like they were written with me in mind. Their comedy is my exact brand of absurd and decidedly morbid humor, their cleverness is just sinister enough to give you the constant feeling of things not always being as they seem, while also never being difficult to follow.

I'm not sure I would call this somewhat stand-alone series of novellas a good entry point into the Malazan world, but they are certainly the easiest to chew through and the most FUN you'll have as you navigate the complicated Malazan web.

[Emma · Rating 5 out of 5]

The third installment of the Bauchelain, Korbal Broach and Emancipor Reese stories.
Out of the three Lee's of laughters end was my favourite, this being a close second.
Introducing us to even more characters, each with their own stories to follow it is yet again another great journey.
Bauchelain and Mancy are fast becoming two of my favourite characters in the whole series, Korbal Broach seems to take a back seat in all three of these stories. Making him mysterious, I'm desperate to find out more of his own story.
I think these three stories have just reminded me how much I adore this series.
You can keep your Narnia, Hogwarts, Neverland, and middle earth. I want an adventure in the Malazan Empire.
#stevenerikson #genious

[DS25 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Eccolo qui, l'altro delirio. Il povero Emancipor, la scena allucinante con il paladino che, piegato dalla droga, "giudica tutti" fino a quando non incontra un mangiafuoco. I maiali nel bordello.
Sicuramente Erikson si è divertito molto a scrivere questa novella, e io a leggerla. Non penso meriti 5 stelle perché è una collezione di piccoli quadri con pochi fili in comune - ancora meno delle altre 3 novelle che ho già letto - ma c'è un interessante cammeo.

[Boris · Rating 5 out of 5]

The

[M F · Rating 2 out of 5]

The Healthy Dead, like its predecessor, Blood Follows, confirms that Bauchelain and Broach work best as periodic comic relief in the lengthier Malazan sagas. When they're left to support a tale on their own, their shortcomings--particularly the one-dimensional characterization--are foregrounded, and they collapse under the weight (Bauchelain, at least; Broach makes barely a cameo in this novella). Manservant Emancipor Reese remains the standout of the three, and pretty much all the comedic interest comes from his narration, but there's just not a lot of fun to be had in this juvenile satire of... over-zealous health advocates, I guess? Maybe veganism? Or just self-righteousness in general? Either way, I lost interest after about twenty pages because, quite honestly, Erikson's just not funny enough to keep the joke alive. I barely cared enough to keep the characters' names straight as the novella flipped haphazardly between them. I guess if you want to fill in the chronology of the series, or if you're really annoyed by vegans, you might want to read this--in any case, it's quite short--but otherwise, go read Vonnegut or Joseph Heller or, if you're looking for something with more filth, I dunno, Burroughs.

[Χρυσόστομος Τσαπραΐλης · Rating 4 out of 5]

Even better than the first in this mini-series, The Healthy Dead brings our 2 villains and their servant to Quaint, a city taken by a fanatic zeal for virtue. Funny, page-turning, with an unexpected amount of philosophy tucked in, this novelette is Erikson at his very good.

[J.P. Ashman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thoroughly enjoyable dark, humerous spin-off from the Malazan Book of the Fallen. Great characters. I read it a couple of years back but it still sticks with me.

[Bryan · Rating 5 out of 5]

The second novella in Steven Erikson's 'Tales of Bauchelain and Korbal Broach' series earns the full five stars with ease. It seemed like he really found his footing in this one, and all the things he was going for in the first book, especially tonally, were achieved and exceeded here. Above all, one gets the sense that he's just having so much fun with these novellas. And when the writer is having a lot of fun, it often translates to the reader having just as much.

The Healthy Dead takes place four years after our first story, Blood Follows. Note that the collection in which I'm reading these actually places The Lees of Laughter's End as the second story, and The Healthy Dead as the third. That is the chronological order. However, I decided to stick with the published order, as I typically do, and read this one first. I do not bemoan my decision at all. So then, four years after Blood Follows our favorite necromancers and Emancipor Reese find themselves at the city of Quaint, in which the recent death of their king has given way to an overzealous cult-following of the Lady of Beneficence, and all things associated with living well. Vices of any and all kinds, big or small, are now not only frowned upon, but punishable offenses (a problem for Emancipor Reese, who happens to be sporting a drug collection so extensive Hunter Thompson would drool), and certain citizens have taken it upon themselves to seek aid, in the form of ones Bauchelain and Korbal Broach.

As I mentioned before, I think Erikson really hit his stride here, and if the other novellas are like this one I think I'm in for a real treat with this series. The Healthy Dead is chock full of that trademark Erikson humor that wavers between subtle quips and utter ridiculousness. Anyone who has read his Malazan work will know what I mean, and will be pleased to find him firing on all cylinders here. In fact, he sets the tone immediately with this message, 'WARNING TO LIFESTYLE FACISTS EVERYWHERE. DON'T READ THIS OR YOU'LL GO BLIND.' Not hard to tell I was in for some fun. When it comes down to it, Erikson is taking these novellas as an opportunity to take things a little less seriously, while still cozy inside his Malazan world. And with characters like Bauchelain and Emancipor Reese at the helm, he has near limitless potential to work with. At one point Bauchelain has Korbal Broach revive the former king (whose corpse happens to be spiked to the wall of Quaint) just so they can chat him up and invite him to partake in a revolution by the city's dead. Oh, and they are both in their Soletaken crow forms. This is the type of weirdness that works so well in novellas like these. Erikson has a knack for that, turning the weird into a delight. I look forward to more.

Quickly, I also wanted to give a shout out to Mike Dringenberg (of renown for his work on Gaiman's Sandman comics) for his cover art contributions for both this story and the first one. His work fits perfectly with the tone.

Do you not realise, Mister Reese, how perfectly diabolical is this king’s genius? Every tyranny imaginable is possible when prefaced by the notion that it is for the well-being of the populace.

[Grace · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't know if it's the time I've spent away from Malazan since finishing House of Chains allowed me to digest the world it's stories take place in better or if it is the story itself, but out of all the Bauchelain and Korbal Broach short stories I've read so far, The Healthy Dead was the most entertaining and easiest for me to follow.

Except the parts involving the Grand Temple of the Lady. Not that it was badly written, placed or explained. I just didn't like it. The implications involving that place, particularly when it comes to babies, made those passages particularly difficult and unpleasant to read for mostly personal reasons tied to real life.

Other than that, the clearly defined concept and morale that drives the characters, and therefore the plot of this adventure, is the strongest aspect of this short story for me compared to how I felt about the previous installments, all of which felt vague and nebulous in comparison. That said, I also didn't have as clear a definition of what Bauchelain and Korbal Broach are and does.

Because there is no greater example of chaotic neutral than these two characters.

Good living and health, as you say, yielding well-being. But well-being is a contextual notion, a relative notion. Perceived benefits are measured by way of contrast. In any case, the result is smugness, and from that an overwhelming desire to deliver conformity among those perceived as less pure, less fortunate – the unenlightened, if you will. But conformity leads to ennui, and then indifference. From indifference, Mister Reese, dissolution follows as a natural course, and with it, once again, the end of civilization.’

Our story finds our anti-heroes being charged by two residents of a city to get rid of their new King, a man whose devotion to health and wellness, two ostensibly good things, has resulted in a tyrannical decree on how and what citizens can eat or drink, how they can live and what they are allowed to do. Though justified to the masses as being for their benefit by acting in the best interests of its citizens, the way it is enforced has resulted in the subjugation of their free will.

One of the fun parts of this short story was how easily and logically Bauchelain was able to twist concepts of goodness and explain how it could lead to "the end of civilization," and done so in a way that echoed Yoda's linear thought exercise in The Phantom Menace. It's a reminder that us humans can justify the goodness or need for any action through circular reasoning and fallacies touting a supposed greater good. In doing so, it reveals the eminent flaw of the idea of absolute good and evil. Or just absolutes in general.

Because it is absolutism that breeds tyranny among us. Even when the intention is well meaning. No good deed goes unpunished and all that.

Life is a spectrum. There is a reason moderation is said to be the best policy in just about everything in life whether it be for virtues or vices. But that can be a hard thing for us to be mindful of when existing, some more so than others. Which is how even with our best efforts, there will always be those who indulge on extremism in an attempt to create an identity and meaning. And not all of them view this as a problem.

It's a reminder that the beauty of humanity is how different we each are from the other. But these differences also means what is good for one may not be good for another.

There is always a life lesson to be had with these two necromancers. And chaos, always chaos. But always with the intent of preventing the end of civilization.

So they say, anyway.

[Duffy Pratt · Rating 3 out of 5]

The city of Quaint doesn't quite live up to its name. It's become a dystopia, where the sole rule is that every thought and action must be directed towards good health. What's good health? That's decided by the dictates of a few. The punishment for doing anything that might be unhealthy, of course, is death.

Bauchelain and Korbal Broach visit. And while they are not necessarily put off by so much unwarranted death, Bauchelain is offended by the lack of good taste demonstrated by the autocrats. So he decides he wants to bring about an end to their regime, so that the denizens might be able to enjoy the blessings of vice.

It's good satire and very amusing at points, but for me it was not Erikson at his best. Also, these characters belong quite squarely in the Malazan universe, but Quaint seemed to me like it stood apart. Perhaps that's because of how deeply ingrained the satire is. It makes this whole thing work pretty well as a standalone, but I didn't feel like it connected to anything. Still, overall an enjoyable read.

[Masood Voon · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read third, as written chronologically, I enjoyed this novella a little more than the first two. Although as usual with this series the comedy is often fairly sophmoric, more than I enjoy, I found the chaotic unfolding of the plot somewhat compelling.

When reading this series I was hoping for something more nefarious and less comedic. I don't think I'm going to get what I want so I'll just plug along to see what motivates the mysterious B & KB. As usual, Emancipator Reese is a semi-unwilling participant in the plot as the trio decide to liberate a city from a supposedly hypocritical regime of purity.

I must say if the author is supposed to be making a statement about self-control and freedom in society I think he's taking it a bit to extreme. Regardless, it's a fun book and if you are interested in reading the entire Malazan world collection these books are easy reads and can be fun (but aren't the pinnacle of fantasy literature).

[Bookish_Austin · Rating 3 out of 5]

So far, this one has to be my least favorite of the Bauchelain and Korbal Broach novels, but it still works well in providing comic relief from the main series.

This one is set in a far and distant land that doesn't feel part of the Malaz world. At first, I enjoyed it, as it was different, but that difference eventual led to me just being confused and not caring about what was going on in the world.

I did find this one to be quite funny though, and that humor did drive the story for me. I guess I was simply just confused by the point of this one. It seemed like a criticism of health nuts in a way, but could easily be seen as a critique of any sort of fanaticism or self righteousness.

Overall, still a fun addition to the Malazan world, but definitely not something I would consider a must read.