"There blackness brought to light emotions she had not yet known slept within - where in her heart had these devious darknesses hid? It is almost futile to use words for that thing which words evade, to shape what has no shape, to that which the body simultaneously contains and expels. Any effort to structure it begins failing; it has no boundaries, it does not colour within the lines. This thing is grief, and grief is like an inside joke: you have to have been there to really get it".
TW: death of a child, grief.
I don't know what I expected, but Wild Fires delivered considerably past my expectations. On the surface, the book follows Cassandra as she returns home to join her family following the passing of a relative. Connected by blood and physically together, their history of unspoken open secrets and the grief attributed to their familial fractures.
Jai makes the reader work for it. She gives nothing away easily, imploring the reader to delve into the history of the family, understanding who every single person is, and where they fall into the winding history of Chevy's life and death. She goes into painstaking detail emphasising how sister played a part in the others lives, where circumstances were so difficult, that one "could have been cruel...vile...turned hysterical and run into the wild never to return and no one would have blamed her". Just like life, however, there was no smooth resolution, no happy ending, no perfectly rounded up ending where everyone gets what they deserve.
Instead, the reader has the opportunity to experience true grief in real time along with the characters. Through those who have lost a family member, a lover, the anonymity of an unspoken secret and the innocence of distance from the event. It's rare to read a story where you can dive so deep, and if I'm honest - there were moments where I wasn't sure if I had it in me. But I enjoyed the prose, the bleak, honest look at lives unfairly impacted by others without a second thought.
Thank you SO much NetGalley for this Arc.