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277 pages, Hardcover
First published April 1, 2021

The whole complicated system of modernity which had held us up, away from the earth, was crumbling, and we were becoming again what we had used to be: cold, and frightened of the weather, and frightened of the dark. Somehow, while we had all been busy, while we had been doing those small things which added up to living, the future had slipped into the present – and, despite the fact that we had known that it would come, the overwhelming feeling, now that it was here, was of surprise, like waking up one morning to find that you had been young, and now, all at once, you weren’t.
“Without reflection, without the capacity to trace our lives backwards and pick the patterns out, we become liable to act as animals do, minus foresight and according to a set of governing laws, which we have never taken the trouble to explore. Without reflection, we do little more than drift upon the surface of things and self-determination is an illusion.”.
She didn’t have the habit that the rest of us were learning of having our minds in two places at once, of seeing two futures – that ordinary one of summer holidays and new school terms, of Christmases and birthdays and bank accounts in an endless, uneventful round, and the other one, the long and empty one we spoke about in hypotheticals, or didn’t speak about at all..
Rather, it was a kind of furious defiance that had led her to have a child, despite all she believed about the future – a kind of pact with the world that, having increased her stake in it, she should try to protect what she had found to love..
—it wasn’t the end of any world beyond this one. Neither the flood, nor the storm. A few square miles and a handful of people. The same things have happened everywhere, always. But isn’t every ending absolute to those who live through it?.
—You think that you have time. And then, all at once, you don’t..
In the end, we always choose ourselves. Or our children. We are only here because Francesca couldn't bear the thought of Pauly drowning, but the high house isn't an ark. We aren't really saved. We are only the last ones.