Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. You guys, I wanted to love this. I wanted to SO BAD. I've had this book on my TBR for a year and a half, and it was always hovering right near the top of my "Want to get to soon" mental list. But the timing was never quite right, and my ADHD brain insists that I must be in THE MOOD for books (or anything) that I really anticipate, so I waited. And I deferred my library hold again and again.
Then the audiobook came in over the summer, and I borrowed it. And I listened to... I don't know, the first few pages? And I hated. HATED. the reader. Terrible. So I returned it, and got in line for the ebook. And then deferred that a few times - you know, to give my mind time to forget the awful high-pitched singsongy DER-AW-ULL that was the reader. (See how successful I was? >_>)
Anyway, then, a couple days after my birthday, a few days before October, which I decided would be strictly horror - something I haven't done in far too long!... I decided it was time. I borrowed it. I restarted. And from September 26 through November 13th I trudged through it.
48 days. FORTY-EIGHT DAYS. To read a 237 page book. A book that is, or should be, right up my alley both in terms of genre and theme.
Was it worth it? Not really.
Did a reckoning come? Debatable.
This book just did not work for me pretty much all of the levels. The only enjoyable parts for me were the interludes looking into the past - though, they were pretty brutal, so "enjoyable" isn't really the right word, but, compared to the enjoyability of the rest of the book? I stand by it.
Spoilery shit below. You know the drill.
I didn't like the characters, ESPECIALLY the main character, Mira. I couldn't identify with her, I seriously could not understand how she just could not use her mouth to make sounds that would communicate her thoughts to people. Particularly those people that she counted as her best friends. And this right here started killing this book almost from the start for me. Because there's nothing I hate more than a plot that relies on a lack of communication. I hate it so SO much.
And Mira just WOULD NOT SAY WORDS. So much of the book was her just WISHING she had said something way back when, and kicking herself for it, but NOT SAYING ANYTHING NOW EITHER, and me screaming into the fucking void that is the plot of this book that keeps circling this point again and again and again. But if she had... then the book wouldn't happen!
Exhibit A: the fact that she's at this White girl fantasy plantation wedding at all. Her "BeSt fRiEnD" that she hasn't even spoken to in 20 years manipulation-guilt-trip NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDS her to be there and Mira... mumblemumble something something obligation-justification agrees?
WHY? You last spoke when you were in MIDDLE SCHOOL. You aren't even being invited to be IN the wedding, BEST FRIEND SHE CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT. Should have said "No. Sorry... You managed the last 20 years of your life without me. You can manage another two days." BUT NO. She can't refuse. She can't make her mouth say the things she wants to. So we just keep being shunted around by Mira's inability to have any say in her own life. Because if she did... then the book wouldn't happen!
Jesse, the love interest that Mira again just couldn't say words to until too late, was... fine. I guess? He didn't really make much impression on me. At least not adult Jesse. The best part of the story, the most relatable and realistic part, was the flashback to when they were kids, and Jesse and Mira went exploring the plantation, only for a body to be found murdered there. In a COMPLETELY SHOCKING TURN OF EVENTS - they tried to pin it on Jesse despite a lack of evidence, or motive, etc. Then, for some reason, they just didn't, and I don't remember why... but by then, everyone believed he had done it, and they all but ran him out of town.
And then he moved back. And got a job there, not just in town, but as a groundskeeper at the VERY plantation where he was accused of killing someone. And attended this wedding, where the guests all still think he's a killer. Because if he didn't... then the book wouldn't happen!
Not like Mira's decisions made much more sense. Her decision making skills are anything at all but on point. Things like wandering off alone at night into the acres of unfamiliar plantation land after a mysterious woman in a white dress - MULTIPLE TIMES. And getting lost. MULTIPLE TIMES. Or following a giggling child (at a child free wedding) to a random area of the plantation house. (I could go on.) Mira keeps acting like this shit is perfectly normal. I mean, who HASN'T followed random people into the wilderness when they ignore repeated attempts to speak to them? Probably they are just in-character performers, working and staying in character. Just like at Disney. I can't count the number of times that I followed Mickey Mouse into the swamplands when he wouldn't stop for a picture with me. So rude, Mickey!
Seriously, this shit was ridiculous, and I couldn't figure out what purpose this repeated stupidity served. I mean, it's OBVIOUS to the reader that the point is for Mira to see/experience the last days of the enslaved people back when it was a slaveholding/working plantation. But WHY was Mira so oblivious to this happening to her, except for maybe an to attempt to keep the "IS IT A PERSON OR IS IT A GHOST??" question open? The fact that she was so annoyingly, stupidly slow to catch on to what was happening made my eyeballs bleed.
And then when she FINALLY arrived at the correct conclusion (that these are vengeful spirits of the enslaved) AND COMMUNICATED IT OUT LOUD TO ANOTHER HUMAN PERSON (so proud), her excellent decision making prowess leads her to go back to the plantation wedding, where the bride has gone missing, and chaos has ensued, and they ONCE AGAIN THINK JESSE DID IT... to *checks notes* save the racist people who ignored her at best, insulted her, GROPED HER, and treated her and Jesse like shit... all after they decided that THIS plantation, where the above horrors, and an uprising and subsequent massacre happened, was an EXCELLENT place for a White Power Rally wedding. Because if they didn't... (say it with me now) ...then the book wouldn't happen!
(The eyeball bleed makes for great lubrication for all the rolling they are doing.)
Obviously, the guests (at least the most prevalent and racist ones) faced those spirits... and now I'm left, after the end, thinking about the real-life situation that will shortly ensue when the bodies of all those white guests are found (or maybe not found)... and the only survivors of this massacre are two Black people.
That's the real horror facing Mira, one Jesse had previously narrowly escaped. Her ancestors faced theirs, and now hers is likely. But you know, the story ends before that point, so people can conveniently forget about the racist justice system and how easy it would be to pin this slaughter on them. Plenty of evidence (prints, DNA, hair, etc), no alibis, both have history in town, both admittedly present the last time a body showed up.
Maybe THIS is the reckoning the title refers to.
Anyway, obviously I didn't enjoy this as much as I had hoped. I was determined to finish it though, in case the ending really justified the rest. I clearly don't think it did. On paper, this should have been a slam dunk for me. But it fell apart so early and so pointlessly. This could have been easily written in such a way as to NOT rely on lack of communication, or bad decisions, or constant internal whining about all the regrets Mira has about those things.
But it wasn't... and here we are. What a shame.