✰ 3.75 stars ✰
“Even though we’d always had this fear in the back of our minds, I didn’t think it was actually going to come true. Deportation always seemed like something that happened to other people… not us.”
How painfully tragic that the proposed Mexican wall is not in existence, and yet the divide that it creates is still such a visceral indomitable and unavoidable one that is more than just a corporeal one. The chasm that incurs upon separating an illegal immigrant with their legal by birth children in the United States is such a heartbreaking notion, that is sadly so very true. I was also reminded of how a couple of years ago, the Pakistani government issued the order to deport all Afghani refugees back to their country. The hue and cry that ensued was rampant at how we could be so heartless to expect them to survive when they had sought asylum here in the hopes for a better life - only for it to be snatched from them without preamble.. It just feels so devoid of emotion and apathy, let alone empathy ... 😔
But what stood out for me was that there was no prejudice, no ill will, no form of emotional manipulation that was convincing me of the injustice of what had happened to Matteo's family - 'all the exhaustion, all the shock, all the anxiety from the past hour.' 😢 It was not a cry against the system, although, gosh, I wish someone could see how traumatic their actions are, but simply a glimpse into the despair that befalls a family that is a victim of this act. There was no sugar coating, simply a fair and honest, if not neutral perspective of a sixteen-year-old has he struggled to balance the shock and the pain of having to both accept that his parents have been deported, along with trying to appease his seven-year-old sister, Sophie's longing to reunite with them at whatever cost.
“... I’ve thought a lot about the things I wish were different—and the things I wish I’d done differently. I wish I’d never taken my parents for granted, not even for a second.”
There was a heaviness in my chest when Matt appeared in front of the court judge in defense of his father - appealing that in some way they could understand that his being in New York and caring for his bodega was not hurting anyone. I agreed with him and I hurt for him so much; this responsibility that is in no way fair to impose on him... And that is why this resonated so deeply with me. 🥺 The way it captured and showed how his conflicting emotions were struggling to see the seriousness of what was happening, while also trying to maintain some form of normalcy at school and his friends. Even as he had to sacrifice one to gain another, it was such an impossible and unfair position that as much as his parents convinced him that they were in it together, they did not see the stressful burden they had left him with.
And I really felt that.
The writing vividly captured the mental, physical and emotional strain on those who want to help but can't, those who have to help, but wish they didn't, and those who need help, but don't know how much they can ask before it is just too much to ask for. These honest real portrayals connected Matt with each part of his life. A portrayal that showed the human side of a helping hand and a willful, steadfast support of loyalty and courage and bravery in the face of these difficult trials. As much as one might be angered or hurt by their worries, it is also heartwarming to see how people can be so willing to be there for you, no matter what. ❤️🩹❤️🩹
I think it was not only the hardships that happened in the aftermath that hit me. It was the loneliness of being weighed down by a secret that Matt was too afraid to share with his friends that was also relatable. '—It’s one where my family and I have always had to “be careful' - not entirely American because he did not feel like he belonged. That anxious feeling was tangible and so very relatable to me; how he felt disconnected from them - not feeling like he belonged. 'If you’re constantly comparing yourself to others, you’ll never win.' 💔💔 But, it was also a blinding moment for him to accept that you don't need papers to prove your worth. How when he exploded on them with the announcement of his parents' deportation, I knew then that maybe just maybe, things would be slightly better now for him. For him to realize that his value as a friend exists beyond being an American or of their equal. It is those little moments that lighten the heart that dim the dark and dismal thoughts that I appreciated. 👏🏻👏🏻
“And no matter how hard they tried to separate us, how much the distance hurt, or how it nearly broke us, we are really, truly indivisible.”
Matt and Sophie's relationship is definitely at the forefront. As much as it was sweet to see Matt get closer to Adam, the sibling bond is what really is put to the test; and I liked how real it was shown. 👍🏻 How he had to weigh in just how much he can share with her, but also be wary of her reaction and expectations, knowing that their lives would never be the same again. It did not show that adjustments can be easy for everyone. The fact that it was never trying to win favors or earn my sympathy made me feel for it even more. The way Sophie longed for her parents and just could not bear to be apart from them, even when they were firmly convinced that she had a better life of opportunities in America than staying in Mexico with them... 😟
Let's also talk about the cover.. The American flag' stripes in Matt's silhouette - for so long they've been invisible to the system, and then so suddenly and unexpectedly everything can change... And isn't that just so sad? To hope for your children to have the chance for the American dream, when it was their very own decision to come to America that led them to be apart from them? What kind of cruel injustice is this? His parents' helplessness to do much to appease their children, let alone even express how much it hurts them, too, for this to be imposed upon them... But, what the author showed is that one can always hope to believe in the American dream. That for the doors may seem closed off now, not all is lost; that they are stronger and Indivisible as a family, because they will fight to still be together - no matter what kind of wall separates them. 🫂