Stop People Pleasing: How to Start Saying No, Set Healthy Boundaries, and Express Yourself

by Chase Hill

Do you say yes to people so often, you've forgotten how it feels to say no?
You're not alone.

Many people spend years putting aside their own wants and needs in order to please the people in their life and avoid conflict. Although there will always be situations where diplomacy is important, you cannot define your life through other people.

There's a fine line between being considerate of others, and compromising your individuality, and you can slip into living as a people-pleaser without even realizing it.

Maybe you've been going through the routines of life feeling that you must keep quiet, and take responsibility for the feelings of others.

Or, maybe you think it's more important to avoid "rocking the boat" than it is to be your most authentic self.

While these habits might seem to dominate everything you do, there are actionable steps you can take to create a new world--one where you are open and confident in what you say and do.

Just like the relationships you have with others, everyone's experiences with people-pleasing are unique. However, this individuality often stems from common roots that are keeping you trapped in the box of others' expectations.

By helping you identify the steps that will assist you the most, Chase Hill shows it is possible to start changing, right here and right now.

In Stop People Pleasing, you will discover:

How the fear of disappointing and upsetting others may be changing who you are as a person that’s going undetected
The 10 signs that indicate people-pleasing characteristics, besides the inability to say no
Why understanding the roots of this habit will empower you to recognize the situations where you're most likely to ignore your own needs, and act in a more positive manner
A step-by-step 14-day action plan to help you achieve instant and notable improvements
The 4 defense mechanisms specific to people pleasing, how to identify them, and how to respond to them
Multiple exercises and approaches to help you rediscover who you are at heart, breaking free from feeling the need to seek validation from others
Coping mechanisms designed to help you overcome discomfort or frustration as you redefine the boundaries in your life
And much more.

If you believe it's impossible to finally stand up to your in-laws or be honest with your friends, think again.

You deserve to make the choices that YOU want to make, and speak your mind without fear or anxiety.

There's no quick fix for people-pleasing. Like most important things, changing your patterns will take time.

With the right tools and techniques by your side, you will be able to hit the ground running and be one step closer to living your life the way you want to live it.

If you're ready to finally stand up for yourself and transform your life, then scroll up and click the “Buy now” button right now.

Genres: Self Help, Relationships

172 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 21, 2020

Reviews

[Gareth Otton · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book didn’t live up to my expectations. A big part of that is on me because I assumed too much from the title and didn’t do enough research about what this book was about. However, I also don’t think the author quite addresses the topic in the title, which is why I have given this book 3-stars despite there being some useful information here.

So what is this book about? Essentially it’s a relatively short book on how to be more assertive and to learn to say no to things that you don’t want to do. It is a worthwhile read for someone who feels like they are a under appreciated, never listened too, or maybe a bit of a pushover. It is possible in a lot of circumstances, and definitely in the examples in this book, that those traits are related to / caused by the need to please other people. However, I don’t see those traits as specific to that cause which is why I don’t think this book actually addresses the topic at hand.

What I think of when I consider the problem of ‘people pleasing’ is the issue of being unable to escape dwelling on the opinion of others. A people pleaser is someone who can’t help but spend their time analysing situations as they think other people see them, and trying their best to please / impress the people in that situation rather than be true to themselves and their values. As someone who often gets caught up in such thought spirals, I was hoping for a book that offered a bit more relevant advice on how to break this habit, gain a bit more clarity and balance in situations that involve other people, and get some useful tools to help me retrain myself to be more concerned with specific situations themselves and my relationship to them, rather than how other people view me or that situation.

Ultimately this book is worthwhile for those who are seeking to become more assertive and want to learn to say no so that they can get their own way a bit more. However, for help with the deeper problems of caring less about what other people think and more about being comfortable with yourself through your own eyes, then this isn’t the book for you.

[Jamie Bee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Didn’t Always See Connections to People Pleasing

I read a lot of nonfiction, so I tend to be fussy about it. I expect a book to be precisely about the topic and nothing more. This book went off on too many tangents. It would have been a much shorter book if the author kept on point. I didn't understand what chapter two on self-discovery had to do with people-pleasing whatsoever and similarly with the chapter on building genuine friendships. The author himself has had problems with people-pleasing, and I do like that he includes his own personal stories and insights gained from his experience in the book. I just wish he kept the subject more corralled, so to speak, so that the book was only about people-pleasing and not peripheral topics.

I received a free copy of this book, but that did not affect my review.

[Leyykokaa · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an insightful and practical guidebook for anyone struggling with the habit of constantly putting others' needs before their own. With clear and concise language, Hill offers actionable tips and strategies for breaking free from the people-pleasing cycle and developing healthy boundaries.

The book provides a comprehensive understanding of why people feel the need to people-please and how it can lead to stress and anxiety. The author encourages readers to practice self-care, prioritize their needs, and communicate assertively to express themselves. Overall, "Stop People Pleasing" is a must-read for anyone looking to improve their relationships, increase their self-esteem, and live a more fulfilling life. Highly recommended!

[Daniel Carr · Rating 5 out of 5]

Succinct and full of ideas

I am very much a people pleasing sort of person, it is nice to read that there are others out there and there are ways of overcoming this type of issue.

It establishes the core premise and just builds on it for the whole book. It is succinct and to the point, and with it not being super long that is definitely a plus.

It even goes as far as giving you ideas and even plans on how to put what the book teaches into practice.

Could not recommend more!

[Britney Soto · Rating 5 out of 5]

Almost every one of the ten signs I've heard in this book refers to me. I can't say no to my friends when they ask for my help, therefore I've always answered yes, even if I can't or don't know how to do what they want. The content of this book does not teach you to be useless to others, but rather to say no now and then so that you are not the only one who is not focused.

[Ollie Barnett · Rating 5 out of 5]

I chose this audiobook because I am clearly a people pleaser who wanted to learn how to create boundaries at work. I rated it a five since it addressed some of the challenges I was experiencing with saying no without feeling guilty or giving up on people's requests. Exceptionally enlightening and well composed.

[Andrea Lyons · Rating 5 out of 5]

I learned a lot and realized something after listening to this book. I acknowledge that I am a people pleaser who can't seem to stop asking people for favors; I don't believe that they can't always assist me or do me a favor. Now I'm aware of my limitations when it comes to requesting favors from others. Enjoy listening to this audiobook.

[Kelly Lou McFall · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have taken so much from this book and have plenty to work with within my journal and day to day life. Putting yourself first is the hardest thing to do when you have had a lifetime of being told it’s selfish I am learning though and I no longer let people walk over me the way I
Have most my life. This book is definitely going to play a part in my journey Thank you Chase Hill x

[Sheila Morton · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book helped me to see the difference between being considerate of others, and compromising my individuality. I learned through this book that when done tactfully and with care, I can maintain my desires and individuality and actually gain my friends’ respect while saying no.

[Jonathan Ihrig · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good read for those that feel they never have time for themselves. This book gives you the tools to identify your priorities, adjust your mindset to make healthier decisions about where to give your time & effort, and set healthy boundaries for existing and future relationships.

[REYNARD HEATH · Rating 5 out of 5]

This audiobook taught me a lot. What I learned here is to refuse if someone asks for a favor because we are not always able to give the favors they request. It's also not so bad to say no because we have the right to do so.

[Gerard Fisher · Rating 5 out of 5]

I bought the book on the spur of the moment because of the title. I couldn't put it down at points because so many sections described who I'd been in the past. This book taught me a lot, and I'm sure it will benefit anyone who can't say no to other people.

[Jerome Munoz · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would strongly recommend this book to anyone who finds it difficult to say no to people now or in the past. If I could go back in time and read a book like this when I was in my twenties, I would be much further along in life.

[Harley Jennings · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I had seen and heard this audiobook earlier so that I would not have been made fun of by others. Because I merely replied YES every time they asked for a favor, I didn't realize they were taking advantage of me. Thank you for providing this book.

[Irene Holland · Rating 5 out of 5]

Stop People Pleasing is a transformative read, offering practical advice and strategies to break free from the cycle of people pleasing. It provides actionable steps to say no, set healthy boundaries, and confidently express yourself.

[Andy Manning · Rating 5 out of 5]

An empowering guide for reclaiming your voice! Stop People Pleasing provides valuable insights and tools to overcome people-pleasing habits, establish boundaries, and authentically express yourself for a more fulfilling life.

[Qasim Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

Stop People Pleasing is a game-changer! With its practical tips and step-by-step approach, it empowers readers to let go of the need for approval, set boundaries, and confidently assert their needs and desires.

[Haylie Burch · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must-read for anyone struggling with people pleasing! Stop People Pleasing offers a roadmap to break free from the habit, fostering self-respect and healthier relationships through setting boundaries and embracing self-expression.

[Brenton Richmond · Rating 5 out of 5]

Stop People Pleasing is a powerful guide for personal growth. It provides actionable techniques to say no, establish healthy boundaries, and find your authentic voice, helping readers create more balanced and fulfilling relationships.

[Carmi Heyman]

DNF

[Franklin Binder · Rating 5 out of 5]

I appreciate the fact that this audiobook was kept short and sweet. The creator never said the same thing over and over again. It's more educational than the other books I've listened to.

[Rosemary Fennimore · Rating 5 out of 5]

This helped me understand that there are actions you can take to avoid being a pushover, and the book clearly lays out the strategy for you! This is a book that you should definitely listen to.

[Cody Kearshley · Rating 5 out of 5]

It has provided me with a great deal of useful information and boosted my self-awareness. So much has been evident to me now. Recommended.

[Arte]

Basically in a abusive relationship with myself 😂

[Lynn H · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quite interesting ideas but like all self help books it mainly all boils down to using your common sense. You gain confidence by practicalities not aways by reading a book.

[isabelle thor · Rating 3 out of 5]

Min lärare tyckte jag skulle läsa den här och ja han kanske hade rätt. Bra budskap även om den var way to long.

[Stella Maren · Rating 3 out of 5]

jájá skítsæmileg, átti ekki alltaf alveg við mann og oft verið að taka frekar extreme dæmi en lærði sumt nýtt um meðvirkni og þannig