Hole Punch

by Garth Simmons

HOLE PUNCH is:
The height of the Earth Empire – where War Bricks flatten alien civilisations.
Yorkshire 1985 – where a child's mind is patched together with trauma.
Ancient Greece – where Socrates discovers a carnal method of time-travel.
Mars 2348 – where crime and terror haunt the Martian Habitation Domes.
The Mistake's skull – where Muscle Society achieves self-destruction.
Delaware Dost – where mindfulness prevails and hierarchy is understood.
The End of Everything – where convert concepts welcome refugees into the folds of theory.

All these places (and many more!) reside within the tangled text of Hole Punch.

Genres: Fiction, Science Fiction, Short Stories, Weird Fiction, Fantasy, Literature, Ebooks

415 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 12, 2020

About the author

Tragically born in Crumlish and sadly living in Mammingham; Garth is a multimedia polymath.

Reviews

[Billie Tyrell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really liked this book. From first appearances it seems to be a short story collection but things start to loosely interlink. There's some bits that are pretty gross but these are mostly laced with humour. It's hard to really fit it into a genre so I guess I'd call it literary fiction... veering from science fiction into poetry but often with a character puking up in the corner somewhere.

[Laura Brower · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really enjoyed this. Definitely worth checking out. Such a unique, dark and interesting style and also very funny. I found myself rereading bits from pages and pages before, it all seems to interlink in some mad way and really sucked me into it's bizarre universe. It was great to discover this and to be honest feel a bit obsessed with it. Best put it down now and read something else.

[Angie Dutton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Totally advanced brain f**kery is all I can say! I'd give it five stars if it didn't diminish my respect for other human beings. This is dark stuff.

[Marc *Dark Reader with a Thousand Young! Iä!* · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whew, this is something. A collection of ultra-short flash-fiction-style chapters, perhaps 250 of them. Most last only a page or two, with some continuing storylines, all of them thematically and stylistically related. The temp's saga was my favourite of these.

The book is undeniably British. It paints a hilarious and depressingly bleak portrait of humanity, both now and in the future. It's almost enough to hope that another world will visit us with a War Brick before we get this chance. Note to self: never go back into debt.

Its structure lends itself to digestion in short bouts, such as while waiting for public transportation or pinching a loaf. I read most of it while failing to get my children promptly ready for bed (not because I was reading, but because this is apparently an impossible task), which I am sure is exactly what the author intended.

Thanks to my GR friend Billie for the recommendation. This would not have come across my radar otherwise, and it was refreshingly different from my usual fare.

[Garth Simmons · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wrote and read this several times in one year.

I don't want to read or write it again.

No offence.

[E.J. · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you’re looking for a raw, fragmented, nightmarish collection of stories that makes you feel simultaneously bewildered, scared, disgusted, amused and angry all at once, you've found it.

Ultimately this book is a glimpse inside Simmons’ head, and I’ve always felt that if anyone ever gained the ability to read minds, nothing they’d hear would ever be linear or easily decipherable. It would be a mish-mash of emotions and abstract ideas and unrelated memories, and that is exactly what this book feels like.

Do I know what I just read? Not entirely. Did I enjoy it? I think so. Would I recommend it? Absolutely.

[Ebony Earwig · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this on ebook a while back, and have been wanting to review it for a while, but I'd decided to wait for a paperback copy because I imagined it would fit into one of my favourite category of books (that being "the table book", something you can have off the shelf and open to a random page when you're in the mood for it. For this reason it seems less suited to Kindle). I'd imagined correctly and on recieving the paperback it's good for having within easy reach to just read a random page of. In a way I think that's the best way to read this, rather than just going through it in order, because the size of the thing is so vast, and most of the stories so short, that by approaching it with this method means the book is actually inexhaustible... whereas when I read it cover to cover (as an ebook) it was at times exhausting if not rewarding. There are benefits to reading it in order though, as it does seem to be curated in such a way that the stories conceptually intersect with each other, whether this is wholly organic or through design it's quite difficult to tell, it feels like those times when I watched normal television and I'd channel hop and be assailed with random scenes and images, some of them reoccurring as I go back through the same channels and catch a later part of a drama. This leads to a kind of disconnected feel from the narratives on display, there are no actual heroes in this book, no one to connect with, which feels deliberate if not pathological on part of the author, and creates a kind of disconnect to the worlds on display. Or it shows that the world, our world, is fundamentally violent, fascist and evil; despite all the neo-liberal surfaces that make it seem warm and cosy. Thankfully it does this in a way that's actually quite funny.

[Lois Strachan · Rating 4 out of 5]

A dark and often bizarre series of micro-fiction tales. A highly inventive structure that catapults you from one reality to another while leaving you with a slight sense that just maybe the stories will all fall into a complete whole at any moment. Somewhat reminiscent of some of Douglas Adams’s work, or at least I thought so. Highly inventive, and totally engrossing. Well worth a read. But, be warned – you’re in for an intensely unusual reading experience

[Genie☆In☆A☆Vodka☆Bottle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Over four hundred pages of pure mind-fuckery. This was the kind of strangeness that always leaves my brain feeling raw.

[Luke · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you ask AI to write poetry after dumping into it some Vonnegut, the Far Side comics, 50’s sci-fi, Rick and Morty, then topped off with some extra existential philosophy and this is what comes out.

[Miley Quinn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Satirical genre bending short story collection. Quite grotesque in places but somehow hilarious too.

[Robert Grant · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Well, that book was interesting," said the mummified zygote.

" Oh, sod off! " replied the recalcitrant drone worm. "There's a Battle Paver coming to kick our arse!"

"Have it your way," replies the mummified zygote. He starts again at page one.

Their radioactive, tattooed father-tortoise ignores them, staring at the sky.
He awaits the sweet release nothingness will bring.

Ok, I made that up. Garth Simmons does it much better.

[Chris the Obscure · Rating 3 out of 5]

I came across the book on Instagram where Simmons posts illustrations of his stories. I was pulled in by the abstract, edgy post punk vibe of his posts... which feel very much like internet memes if they'd been painted by Francis Bacon... and that's what you get with Hole Punch, a bunch of scrambled memes. Some of them laugh loud funny, some of them horrific, some of them sad, many of them puzzling and carrying a sad confusion. What ties them all together - except for some recurring characters - is a bleak view of humanity and a kind of primal cry for people to be more genuine... whether in the workplace, at home or in the far future. The only issue with the format of Hole Punch is that it can get kind of repetitive, though I'd be interested to see what Simmons would do with a novel, as I think his longer stories in here have more variance and are able to breathe.

[Tim Joseph · Rating 1 out of 5]

"My steps outside your door. I knock. Don’t answer your door. I'm dead."

I just. Nope.

If spaceflight to the moon is avant-garde, then this book is walking across the street.

I can't even express my thoughts trying to unpack this ejaculation of thoughts, half-culled stories, premesis and spewed stream of conscious scribblings.

Does it mean anything?

Is it supposed to?

Were these all fever dream hallucinations taken down in exacting detail that millenia from now will be unearthed and discovered to be prophecy, heralded from the skies as the deliverance of man?

No.

Was it good?

Still no.

But hey. I may be crazy. Feel free to enjoy the literary equivalent of a bottle of absenth!

[John Ferngrove · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've been trying to write poems for years
Angry shroom-bot poems that fit together wildly
Like Garth Simmons' little interlocking stories
That capture the science fiction in fleeting moments of everyday life
Vitreous outrage at an existence that is fanged all the way down
But my poems never made it
Too polite, too thoughtful
My outrage scissors are blunt and wet
Made out of the wrong sort of childhood.

If I had the right sort of atoms
I would ask Garth Simmons to come and live in my head
And help me to write my poems with his better outrage scissors.
And I would let him use my hands to do his outrage art
Spiky pictures of fangs all the way down
As a kid I got quite good at drawing horses' hooves
Spent hours drawing horses' hooves
Later I tried to draw all the twigs on particular branches
Of particular trees
But when that didn't work out I stopped trying to draw things
It would be great to have Garth Simmons use my hands
To draw pictures of horses' hooves and twigs
With fangs all the way down

But it will probably never happen now
I've absorbed too many of the wrong sorts of nutrients
So I will never have the right sort of atoms
For Garth Simmons to come and live in my head
Our thoughts would stay different
And we would probably argue a lot
Maybe if I'd eaten more lettuce?

[Kasturi Goswami · Rating 4 out of 5]

“No voice to keep me company anymore,” said the Mistake.
“Just my own voice. I am inadequate. I am weak. I am empty. I am a mistake. A mistake isn't good for anything.”

The promise that the text carries throughout its travel from start to finish is its uniqueness. The author takes the reader on a strange yet fascinating ride through unconventional imagery and characterization. The level of imagination is not to a complex degree but the portrayal of complex thoughts through visual manifestations is commendable. The author has vividly sketched deep-rooted social and political issues in morbid details, in a way sensing the need to open up and face that prevalent evil from a completely new view, non-human.

The book is an anthology but the stories are interrelated yet vast. Each tale has its own underlying impact that makes the reader wonder, What is going on inside the author's head? As a reader, I am immensely intrigued by the author's imagination and would definitely look forward to his next project. A unique and relatable read that makes the reader work for it. I would give this book a 4/5.

P.S. I received a review copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Dana Jenner · Rating 5 out of 5]

A quick and easy read even though it's very abstract. Maybe a bit too cynical

[Zola Gonzalez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reminds me of Beat poetry. Delightful, strange and unnerving.

[Basil Cavendish · Rating 5 out of 5]

Accessible, experimental and meta. He'd better write another, despite saying "I'M FINISHED!"

[Deepak Gulati · Rating 1 out of 5]

Incoherent, rambling writing produced by a fevered mind. Stay away please. Or to quote a passage from the book:

“It screeches across nothing in an emptiness full of nothing.”

[Will Wilder · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book made me laugh hard in public - Tracksuit smartphone-faces looked jealous upon my joy, for they were unable to attain that divine state of mirth, unable to to transcend with Hole Punch.

[Nana Ikegami · Rating 5 out of 5]

So imaginative and bizarre. Some of the fragments could be longer but great fun overall.

[Alexey · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is a collection of ultra short stories, sometimes they are not even stories. It is bizarre, sometimes incomprehensible, but there is some rhythm and poetry to it. There are some recurring themes, my favourites are War Brick and Temp. In general I liked it. It is like the song that catches your ear, but you don’t really realise why, something on lizard brain level. Kudos to the author for this.

[Peter Humphreys · Rating 5 out of 5]

A rollicking ride through the imagination of Manchester writer and artist Garth Simmons. In a few short pages and with deceptive ease the author transports you to/inside different worlds, minds, times, beings, machines .. and lifeforms that defy description .. before returning you to a distorted version of your own nondescript neighbourhood or bland officeplace in his genre-defying, black ice dark & often hilarious stories.

[Shawn · Rating 2 out of 5]

I breezed through this collection of fragmented story bits, abstract poetry and general nonsense in a short time. I laughed once or twice. When a piece is trying to satirize something it's usually so on the nose and without insight that it shows up DOA. A hypnotic read and I didn't hate it-I think it is meant to be ephemeral that way.

[Jack · Rating 5 out of 5]

This collection of prose-poems is riven with Burrough's influence and feels more indebted to the collage process than literature, in which often disturbing, north of England social satire smash up against Love, Death and Robots-style sci-fi vignettes in a way that's more David Shrigley than Irvine Welsh. It's bleak, but always moored to a absurdist's sense of humour.

The beautiful illustrations by the author offer sign posts to how you should experience these ephemeral fragments: like a Stephen Collins cartoon; not a victorian novel. Whilst this won't be to everyone's taste, there is nothing derivative about this, and there is no attempt by the author to sound like anyone but himself.

[Mark Simpson · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you feel the need to read something in order to snap your mind away from the monotony of your insipid life, sometimes it is better to find something that walks in a kind of perverse lockstep to your own drudgery. Hole Punch does this by occasionally highlighting how warped existence itself can be.
I come back to Hole Punch regularly. It doesn't ever really feel like you can 'complete' this book, despite me saying I've 'read' it. I didnt read it. It read me.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Entertaining read

[Celeste Hall · Rating 3 out of 5]

Complete cynicism, in all 250+ pieces of flash fiction. Fanatical in its cynicism. The game of life is rigged, ad nauseam. Just clever enough to fool some readers that it speaks to something largely True and Important. I actually liked a lot of it, although I would say that the perspective on life demonstrated here has a major blind spot towards sincerity in human psychology.

[Christine Timmo · Rating 1 out of 5]

Absolutely couldn’t do it. Dnf.