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The Stranger on the Bridge: My Journey from Suicidal Despair to Hope
In 2008, twenty year-old Jonny Benjamin stood on Waterloo Bridge, about to jump. A stranger saw his distress and stopped to talk with him – a decision that saved Jonny's life. Fast forward to 2014 and Jonny, together with Rethink Mental Illness launch a campaign with a short video clip so that Jonny could finally thank that stranger who put him on the path to recovery. More than 319 million people around the world followed the search. ITV's breakfast shows picked up the story until the stranger, whose name is Neil Laybourn, was found and – in an emotional and touching moment – the pair re-united and have remained firm friends ever since. The Stranger on the Bridge is a memoir of the journey Jonny made both personally, and publicly to not only find the person who saved his life, but also to explore how he got to the bridge in the first place and how he continues to manage his diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder. Using extracts from diaries Jonny has been writing from the age of thirteen, this book is a deeply personal memoir with a unique insight on mental health. Jonny was recognised for his work as an influential activist changing the culture around mental health, when he was awarded an MBE in 2017. He and Neil now work full-time together visiting schools, hospitals, prisons and workplaces to help end the stigma by talking about mental health and suicide prevention. The pair ran the London Marathon together in 2017 in aid of HeadsTogether. Following the global campaign to find the stranger, in 2015 Channel 4 made a documentary of Jonny's search which has now been shown in 14 territories.
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First published January 1, 2018
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 93 reviews
April 19, 2018
I received a copy of this book from Netgalley, in exchange for an honest review.
A poignant, heartfelt account of mental illness, and a timely reminder to start talking about it more.
I remember the #FindMike campaign well - the search for the man who stopped Jonny from jumping from Waterloo Bridge. As such, I was well up for reading The Stranger on the Bridge, to hear the story from Jonny Benjamin's perspective and find out what happened after.
The book is an incredibly candid, warmly written account of what it's like to grow up with a mental illness, and how it can drive you to such a dark place. It starts with Jonny's life as a young lad; his childhood delusions and his guilt over his sexuality. Then the book covers the event at the bridge, and details how things haven't been smooth riding since - but that there has been plenty of joy and hope sprinkled in with the despair and depression.
Firstly, huge kudos to the author for speaking out in such a frank, unafraid manner. It never ceases to shock me how as a society, we're fairly comfortable with talking about all manner of physical ailments, yet still so reluctant to admit that we're struggling emotionally or mentally. The very creation of this book will hopefully help to herald a seachange - where people can be just as open about how they're feeling emotionally as they are physically.
Secondly - it's a fascinating and inspiring story. A singular event - one man saving another man's life, can quite literally create shockwaves that reverberate through the years. Their subsequent friendship resulted in them joining forces to speak out about mental illness and to offer support and guidance in schools. Now that really is an achievement to be proud of.
There were also several other sections that had me nodding in agreement - such as the chapter on prisons, and how so many incarcerated people have mental health problems. This resonated deeply with me, based on personal experience of someone I used to know who was imprisoned rather than given the medical support he needed. He later killed himself.
So, in conclusion - well done, Jonny Benjamin - and keep encouraging people to talk about it. It's not 'being a snowflake' to admit that you're struggling emotionally, and it's not 'weak' to ask for help. Bravo.
A poignant, heartfelt account of mental illness, and a timely reminder to start talking about it more.
I remember the #FindMike campaign well - the search for the man who stopped Jonny from jumping from Waterloo Bridge. As such, I was well up for reading The Stranger on the Bridge, to hear the story from Jonny Benjamin's perspective and find out what happened after.
The book is an incredibly candid, warmly written account of what it's like to grow up with a mental illness, and how it can drive you to such a dark place. It starts with Jonny's life as a young lad; his childhood delusions and his guilt over his sexuality. Then the book covers the event at the bridge, and details how things haven't been smooth riding since - but that there has been plenty of joy and hope sprinkled in with the despair and depression.
Firstly, huge kudos to the author for speaking out in such a frank, unafraid manner. It never ceases to shock me how as a society, we're fairly comfortable with talking about all manner of physical ailments, yet still so reluctant to admit that we're struggling emotionally or mentally. The very creation of this book will hopefully help to herald a seachange - where people can be just as open about how they're feeling emotionally as they are physically.
Secondly - it's a fascinating and inspiring story. A singular event - one man saving another man's life, can quite literally create shockwaves that reverberate through the years. Their subsequent friendship resulted in them joining forces to speak out about mental illness and to offer support and guidance in schools. Now that really is an achievement to be proud of.
There were also several other sections that had me nodding in agreement - such as the chapter on prisons, and how so many incarcerated people have mental health problems. This resonated deeply with me, based on personal experience of someone I used to know who was imprisoned rather than given the medical support he needed. He later killed himself.
So, in conclusion - well done, Jonny Benjamin - and keep encouraging people to talk about it. It's not 'being a snowflake' to admit that you're struggling emotionally, and it's not 'weak' to ask for help. Bravo.
October 14, 2019
Gyvenimas-toks keistas dalykas, kad vieną dieną esi sveikas ir laimingas, o kitą dieną jau puola kokia nelaboji liga. Taip jau yra, kad kai mažiausiai tikimės-likimas iškrečia pokštą ir mes susergame. Nors ligų yra įvairiausio pobūdžio, bet man susidaro toks įspūdis, kad sunkiausia yra kovoti su psichinėmis ligomis, kurios tai dingsta, tai vėl atsiranda. Jos lyg koks kirminas tave graužia iš vidaus ir neleidžia pasveikti ar nuo jų pabėgti. Jos bjaurios ir turinčios pasekmių. Todėl, man, kaip turėjusiai patirties su žmonėmis, sergančiais šizofrenija ar turinčiais šizoafektinį sutrikimą, skaityti istorijas apie tai-nėra kažkokia naujiena. Studijų metais atlikdama praktiką psichiatrinėje ligoninėje, tokių atvejų turėjau ne vieną ir ne du. Apie tuos žmones galėčiau daug kalbėti ir pasakoti, kuriems yra ar buvo diagnozuota ši liga. Tačiau aš ne apie tai. O apie neseniai Lietuvoje viešėjusius Jonny Benjamin ir Neil Laybourn. Kas jie tokie? Kas sieja šiuos du vyrus? Tiesa ta, kad šiuo metu jie kartas nuo karto keliauja po pasaulį ir pasakoja savo pažinties istoriją, kuri prasidėjo 2008 metais, kuomet Anglijoje nuo Vaterlo tilto į Temzę ketinusį nušokti Jonny (tuomet jam buvo 20 metų), užkalbino pro šalį ėjęs nepažįstamas vyras. Tai ir buvo Neil Laybourn. Paprastas pasiūlymas artimiausioje kavinėje atsigerti kavos išgelbsti vaikino gyvybę. Ši istorija gimė knygos pavidalu "Nepažįstamasis ant tilto: mano kelionė iš nevilties į viltį", kurioje Jonny atskleidžia jį slėgusias mintis, kausčiusias baimes, varginusius kompleksus, apie pasiryžimą nusižudyti, bet tuo pačiu pasakoja apie sveikstant įveiktus ir vis dar kylančius iššūkius. Ši knyga man pasirodė labai asmeniška, nes Jonny tiek daug pasakoja apie save, kad pagalvoji, kiek reikia turėti drąsos papasakoti ne tik apie savo ligą, bet dar ir kiek prisipažinti žinant, kad galbūt būsi pasmerktas ne tik savo šeimoje, bet ir savo bendruomenėje. Šiuo atveju, tai žydų bendruomenė. Nenorėdama per daug atskleisti knygos detalių, kviečiu knygą perskaityti tuos skaitytojus, kurie nori išgirsti kiek kitokią istoriją: kuri vieną dieną gali būti labai graži, o kitą- jau ir vėl pradinė ligos stadija. Šizofrenija-tai liga, kurią lyg medalį nešiojiesi visą gyvenimą ir jam atsisegus lyg netenki kitokio pasaulio, kuriame tu gali įsivaizduoti esąs bet kas, kad tavo gyvenimas yra lyg filmo scena, o tu aktorius, į kurį visi žiūri. Šios knygos nerekomenduočiau skaityti itin jautriems žmonėms, nes man kaip mamai buvo sunku skaityti apie Jonny vaikystėje patirtus psichinius sutrikimus. Kartais mes, tėvai, net nesusimąstome, kokią žalą gali daryti animaciniai filmukai mūsų vaikų psichikai, kurie vėliau gali iššaukti labai rimtas ligas ir turėti skaudžias pasekmes. Šią knygą dar galėčiau pavadinti skaudžiu dienoraščiu, kurį skaitydama aikteli iš nuostabos, nubrauki ašarą dėl Jonny ligos, nusijuoki bent trumpam iš kurioziškų situacijų, mintimis palaikai ir supranti, kodėl vienaip ar kitaip jis mąstė ar taip pasielgė. Nors ir teko susidurti su žmonėmis, sergančiais šizofrenija, tačiau vis dar sunku suprasti, kodėl šiuolaikinė medicina su šia liga vis dar neefektyviai kovoja. Į šį klausimą atsakymus bando rasti ir Jonny Benjamin aktyviai dalyvaudamas psichikos sveikatos srityje. Todėl, kas norite daugiau sužinoti apie šizofreniją kaip ligą, kviečiu paskaityti ne medicinos vadovėlį, o žmogaus pasakojimą apie kovą su šia baisia liga, kuris su ja susidūrė akis į akį. O tuo tarpu aš skubu paantrinti Jonny: "Daugelis klaidingai įsitikinę, kad šizofrenikai yra pavojingi ir juos nuolat reikia prižiūrėti. Tai, ko gera, pražūtingiausia klaida. Žmonėms svarbu suprasti, kad smurtas nėra šizofrenijos požymis-tiesą sakant, sergantieji dažniau tampa aukomis, nei nusikaltėliais"
September 30, 2019
Žiūrinti iš literatūrinės pusės trūksta nuoseklumo ir sklandumo.
Žiūrint iš žmogiškosios pusės tai labai svarbi knyga apie psichikos sveikatą, nežinią ir dalykus, kurie padeda ir kurie ne. Gali priblokšti faktas, kiek žmonių serga psichikos sutrikimais. Skaitydama pirmą kartą bent kiek atjaučiau visus tuos, kurie bet kokios viešinimo kampanijos metu pradeda rėkti, kad nėra reikalo apie tai kalbėti, nes kai kas nuskambėjo taip apie mano paauglystę, kad net nejauku. Ir nors (atrodo?) nei aš sergu, nei ką, mintis, kad kažkam taip prasidėjo liga skamba nejaukiai, ir reikia laiko priprast ir pripažinti, kad ne, dauguma gąsdinančių dalykų, nėra vienos išskirtinės grupės kaltė ir bausmė.
Žiūrint iš žmogiškosios pusės tai labai svarbi knyga apie psichikos sveikatą, nežinią ir dalykus, kurie padeda ir kurie ne. Gali priblokšti faktas, kiek žmonių serga psichikos sutrikimais. Skaitydama pirmą kartą bent kiek atjaučiau visus tuos, kurie bet kokios viešinimo kampanijos metu pradeda rėkti, kad nėra reikalo apie tai kalbėti, nes kai kas nuskambėjo taip apie mano paauglystę, kad net nejauku. Ir nors (atrodo?) nei aš sergu, nei ką, mintis, kad kažkam taip prasidėjo liga skamba nejaukiai, ir reikia laiko priprast ir pripažinti, kad ne, dauguma gąsdinančių dalykų, nėra vienos išskirtinės grupės kaltė ir bausmė.
May 27, 2020
3-3.5 stars
Last week (mental health week) I went through an online training course about suicide and suicide prevention. There were 3 video interviews and Jonny was included talking about being talked out of his suicide attempt off a bridge by a stranger. As it was mentioned he worked to campaign around mental health after this I had a quick look at his website and saw he'd released this book. Next day I randomly found this book in my work library so I picked it up to read.
I've already read a lot about mental health for quite a few years now so I'd say most of what I read wasn't new to me. Jonny talks about his life with psychosis/schizophrenia and the many ups and downs. It's was good to read about a full on, personal experience from someone else who tells all the real details (I don't think I could put myself out there in the public eye), but I personally have found reading non fiction on the subject to be more useful and helping me learn a lot about mental health. I'd say maybe this would be more useful to someone who doesn't know anything about schizophrenia/mental health/suicide.
The best part of this book is the way that Jonny and Neil came together and eventually became close friends and colleagues after reuniting. The other main messages of this book were the fact that mental health and illness have their ups and downs, (the media is very patronising in only being interested when someone makes a 100% full miraculous recovery or when someone succumbs to their demons), and just talking about your problems and having support is one of the major factors in doing well and improving how you feel (with the obvious that lack of support and prejudice affects people for the worse). So for me nothing really new.
I'd like to mention the brilliant video game Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice which is all about a character with psychosis, I really recommend it to everyone if you're even slightly interested in mental health.
Last week (mental health week) I went through an online training course about suicide and suicide prevention. There were 3 video interviews and Jonny was included talking about being talked out of his suicide attempt off a bridge by a stranger. As it was mentioned he worked to campaign around mental health after this I had a quick look at his website and saw he'd released this book. Next day I randomly found this book in my work library so I picked it up to read.
I've already read a lot about mental health for quite a few years now so I'd say most of what I read wasn't new to me. Jonny talks about his life with psychosis/schizophrenia and the many ups and downs. It's was good to read about a full on, personal experience from someone else who tells all the real details (I don't think I could put myself out there in the public eye), but I personally have found reading non fiction on the subject to be more useful and helping me learn a lot about mental health. I'd say maybe this would be more useful to someone who doesn't know anything about schizophrenia/mental health/suicide.
The best part of this book is the way that Jonny and Neil came together and eventually became close friends and colleagues after reuniting. The other main messages of this book were the fact that mental health and illness have their ups and downs, (the media is very patronising in only being interested when someone makes a 100% full miraculous recovery or when someone succumbs to their demons), and just talking about your problems and having support is one of the major factors in doing well and improving how you feel (with the obvious that lack of support and prejudice affects people for the worse). So for me nothing really new.
I'd like to mention the brilliant video game Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice which is all about a character with psychosis, I really recommend it to everyone if you're even slightly interested in mental health.
May 8, 2019
This is one of my new favourite books of all time!
I sobbed my eyes out for hours listening to this. I couldn't stop crying.
Where to begin, where to begin... I honestly don't know how to put into words what this book means to me.
Jonny has lived with schizoeffective disorder, depression, OCD, anxiety, panic attacks and has self-harmed. Jonny is also gay and Jewish.
This book was so inspiring, it's a story of hope and inspiration. One random act of kindness saved Jonny's life.
Its also an extremely difficult read. Jonny is now a mental health campaigner and advocate and this book, looks at the disarray that the mental health services in the UK, are in. He also looked at how disability benefit schemes fail people and are leading to suicides. As well as mental health in prisons and in other countries, including India.
For me, Johnny talks about something that I've not heard anyone else talk about in fiction or literature, and that's withdrawal from antidepressants. People don't realise, that coming off antidepressants can be as hard as going on them in the first place. Johnny talked about brain zaps, something that I have have dealt with personally.
Johnny also talks about his obsessions with certain songs and artists while he was depressed, something which I thought I only went through.
While, I couldn't relate to all aspects of Jonnys story, is despair while depressed really resonated with me and my own struggles.
I listened to this on audio book, which Johnny narrates himself and honestly, it's such a moving story, which I will never forget. I really recommend you listen to the audio book if you can.
If you're in a bad place, I wouldn't recommend you read this as there is so much triggering content but honestly, if you can, please read this book
I sobbed my eyes out for hours listening to this. I couldn't stop crying.
Where to begin, where to begin... I honestly don't know how to put into words what this book means to me.
Jonny has lived with schizoeffective disorder, depression, OCD, anxiety, panic attacks and has self-harmed. Jonny is also gay and Jewish.
This book was so inspiring, it's a story of hope and inspiration. One random act of kindness saved Jonny's life.
Its also an extremely difficult read. Jonny is now a mental health campaigner and advocate and this book, looks at the disarray that the mental health services in the UK, are in. He also looked at how disability benefit schemes fail people and are leading to suicides. As well as mental health in prisons and in other countries, including India.
For me, Johnny talks about something that I've not heard anyone else talk about in fiction or literature, and that's withdrawal from antidepressants. People don't realise, that coming off antidepressants can be as hard as going on them in the first place. Johnny talked about brain zaps, something that I have have dealt with personally.
Johnny also talks about his obsessions with certain songs and artists while he was depressed, something which I thought I only went through.
While, I couldn't relate to all aspects of Jonnys story, is despair while depressed really resonated with me and my own struggles.
I listened to this on audio book, which Johnny narrates himself and honestly, it's such a moving story, which I will never forget. I really recommend you listen to the audio book if you can.
If you're in a bad place, I wouldn't recommend you read this as there is so much triggering content but honestly, if you can, please read this book
October 23, 2022
Having been fortunate enough to meet the author at a charity function that I used to volunteer for, I can wholeheartedly agree with the plaudits that have been bestowed to Jonny. He is authentic, he is human, allowing us to see his vulnerability. To call him inspirational doesn't seem enough, an outstanding human being.
November 7, 2021
Rating mainly for the concept that he is trying to get across however alot of this story resonates with me mentally and physically
May 8, 2024
Dar viena knyga į perskaitytų knygų krepšelį. Tik ši - kiek kitokia. Kiek teko pastebėti žiniasklaidoje ir literatūroje, vis daugiau dėmesio skiriama tokiems psichikos sutrikimams kaip depresija, bipolinis, nerimo sutrikimai ir panašiai, kas iš tiesų mažina stigmą visuomenėje, tačiau... Kiek pastebiu, viena iš grupių yra paliekama tarsi užkampyje ir kuri yra itin apipinta mitais. Tai šizofreninio ir psichozinio spektro sutrikimai. Knygoje "Nepažįstamasis ant tilto" Jonny Benjamin pristato savo patirtį susiduriant su šizoafektiniu sutrikimu ir kaip jam sekasi funkcionuoti visuomenėje. Iš tiesų, tai įkvėpianti ir itin atvira knyga, kurioje tikrai ne vien gėlytės ir drugeliai yra pateikiami. Joje pristatoma nepagražinta realybė. Ar šią knygą rekomenduoju? Tikrai taip 😊
April 21, 2022
Although this is a memoir - and a very touching one at that - The Stranger On The Bridge also offers a great deal of information about mental health and the UK mental health system (and others) and is incredibly important, interesting and informative. Not to mention inspirational.
February 14, 2022
I am blessed as years ago during the conference for the psychologists and people working with emotional support in Lithuania, I had a chance to meet Jonny Benjamin and Neil Laybourn live. I can even say that we became friends.
Their story and all the journey are absolutely unique and magnificent. It’s unbelievable how little and how
much at the same time, we can give each other without even knowing our impact on things and personal journeys.
I admire Jonny and support him with all my heart. Knowing him in person and while reading his honest and personal book I can tell that this story moves me so
much that I start crying thinking about it all.
I am massively grateful to Jonny for patiently and courageously working towards the improvement of mental health in the UK and all the world.
Thank you, Jonny! Thank you, Neil! People like you change the world🤍
P.s. I highly recommend not only reading the book but as well watching the movie Stanger on the bridge too. Grab some tissues, their story is something so so special and magical.
Let’s never walk away from someone who is suffering. Let’s always open our eyes to see people and their emotions & feelings around us. These are the greatest gifts we can share.
Their story and all the journey are absolutely unique and magnificent. It’s unbelievable how little and how
much at the same time, we can give each other without even knowing our impact on things and personal journeys.
I admire Jonny and support him with all my heart. Knowing him in person and while reading his honest and personal book I can tell that this story moves me so
much that I start crying thinking about it all.
I am massively grateful to Jonny for patiently and courageously working towards the improvement of mental health in the UK and all the world.
Thank you, Jonny! Thank you, Neil! People like you change the world🤍
P.s. I highly recommend not only reading the book but as well watching the movie Stanger on the bridge too. Grab some tissues, their story is something so so special and magical.
Let’s never walk away from someone who is suffering. Let’s always open our eyes to see people and their emotions & feelings around us. These are the greatest gifts we can share.
May 6, 2018
I read this book all in one sitting - I found Jonny's voice to be so warm and engaging that I couldn't bare to put the book down for more than a minute.
This is a very moving book, and having had depression and anxiety myself, I found a lot of what he experienced resonated within me. A few years ago I probably would have found this too difficult to read - a lot of this is quite tough and quite graphic, so if you are feeling a bit wobbly, it might be a bit triggering.
Jonny has a remarkable spirit, and his bravery to look for the light in the darkness is truly inspirational. His optimism shines through each page and reminds us that hope will always live on.
I thought it was wonderful that Neil got the opportunity to share the story of his life after the moment on the bridge - something that maybe gets overlooked due to the weight of Jonny's story. And I think it's really wondeful that a foreword by Prince William is included - proof that the work Jonny and Neil have done has truly touched the nation.
This is a very moving book, and having had depression and anxiety myself, I found a lot of what he experienced resonated within me. A few years ago I probably would have found this too difficult to read - a lot of this is quite tough and quite graphic, so if you are feeling a bit wobbly, it might be a bit triggering.
Jonny has a remarkable spirit, and his bravery to look for the light in the darkness is truly inspirational. His optimism shines through each page and reminds us that hope will always live on.
I thought it was wonderful that Neil got the opportunity to share the story of his life after the moment on the bridge - something that maybe gets overlooked due to the weight of Jonny's story. And I think it's really wondeful that a foreword by Prince William is included - proof that the work Jonny and Neil have done has truly touched the nation.
February 20, 2019
I was lent this book by a colleague and met Jonny at a work event last year. He is truly an inspirational man and doing great things to try to change the way mental health services are delivered. However as a general rule I find it quite hard to read books about mental health so my rating isn't a reflection of his story but more that I find it emotionally quite difficult to get through books like these. I would definitely recommend it to someone who isn't familiar with the impact that severe mental health problems can have on someone's life as it's eye opening in that respect.
May 9, 2021
(I just wish this book was a little bit more about Neil, the stranger who stopped the author from jumping of the bridge, and about handling situations like the one he faced that cold January morning when he approached Jonny...)
May 15, 2022
A very well written and most heartfelt account of Jonny's ongoing journey of recovery following his day of attempted suicide on Waterloo Bridge.
I have a great deal of respect for anyone with "stigmatised" forms of mental illness such as schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder and who speak out openly about their experience. I always think it must be terrifying to feel as though you've lost control of your own brain and your entire psyche.
The writing of Jonny is honest and sincere, shocking, saddening yet extremely positive at the same time. His story is sensitively told with lots of self reflection and awareness.
Highly recommended to anyone wanting to gain insight into mental illness and support the currently underfunded and understaffed mental health services.
I have a great deal of respect for anyone with "stigmatised" forms of mental illness such as schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder and who speak out openly about their experience. I always think it must be terrifying to feel as though you've lost control of your own brain and your entire psyche.
The writing of Jonny is honest and sincere, shocking, saddening yet extremely positive at the same time. His story is sensitively told with lots of self reflection and awareness.
Highly recommended to anyone wanting to gain insight into mental illness and support the currently underfunded and understaffed mental health services.
September 25, 2020
Man ši knyga yra apie viltį. ji yra be galo jautri, skaudi, jaudinanti, mokanti empatijos, atjautos žmonėm sergantiems psichikos sveikatos ligomis ir kenčiantiems nuo sistemos, kurioje jiems tenka laukti eilėje apie pusę metų tam, kad gautų profesionalios pagalbos. Jonny istorija įkvepianti, neleidžianti pasiduoti ir prarasti vilties. šioje knygoje yra dažnai akcentuojama artimųjų parama, meilė, supratimas bei priėmimas, kurie yra be galo svarbūs sveikimo procese. Manau, kad tai yra viena iš tų knygų, kurias kiekvienas turime perskaityti, kad geriau suprastume serganciųjų kančią, destigmatizuotume psichikos sveikatos sutrikimus ir reformuotume nuo pamatų švietimo ir pagalbos prieinamumą.
did-not-finish
May 1, 2018This memoir is about Jonny Benjamin, who in 2008 stood on Waterloo Bridge ready to jump. That moment was somewhat pivotal in Jonny's life in terms of managing and coming to terms with his own mental health. As a huge advocate of positive mental health, I love to read books like this, however I found that the writing really dragged and as much as I was invested in Jonny's story and his wellbeing, the writing let it down, therefore I left it unfinished at 38%.
May 8, 2023
What a story. Jonny bears vulnerable in such an open and honest way. It was really thought-provoking to read and understand more about how schizoaffective disorder manifests and how Jonny has overcome such challenges. It's a beautiful story how Jonny met Neil and their ongoing mental health campaigning that has come as a result.
Neil is a reminder to all of us that we must live and be, kind.
Neil is a reminder to all of us that we must live and be, kind.
April 19, 2023
Jonny’s story through his mental health is honest and open with no airs or graces. Thank you to Neil for saving him that day in order that we can hear his story and the state of mental health support in the UK.
September 29, 2021
Probably a 3.5 I think. A very interesting and intriguing read, difficult at times due to the sensitive topics it contains. Some bits very relatable, the Jewish religious aspect not so much.
May 3, 2018
The story is simple and true. Jonny Benjamin was on Waterloo Bridge, ready to jump to his death after deciding it was the only way. And someone stopped him by talking to him, but then Jonny was dragged off back to Hospital and that was it, until years later, when they met once again.
If you are big user of social media, twitter and a big media sponge, then you may remember the #FindMike campaign run by Jonny and others to find the stranger that helped him that day and ‘help’ is the correct term. I wasn’t sure what I was going to get from this book but considering the subject I thought it may be interesting if nothing else. What I did get though was an extremely insightful trip into the mind of someone with Mental Health issues and learnt so much from this one man who is dealing with his mental health by telling others his story and campaigning for more to be done for Mental Health. From him and the Stranger, when they did find him, it gives you hope for the human race, firstly that this saved soul is using his second chance to help a nation and world who have been hiding from mental health or more hiding the problem away and the Stranger who gives us hope in humanity as a whole.
Even though on that day when Jonny nearly did something I am very happy he didn’t, the hundreds of people that must have walked past and did nothing, what is the matter with our world, but thankfully one person did and together years later I hope they have changed the lives of others by bringing the story forward. And this book is certainly one way to do that.
Jonny Benjamin even though very open about his own problems hasn’t written just a sad tale and some parts are amusing with its easy going language, even when talking about his earlier life where he thought it was normal to have a voice in his head. This is no comedy but it has been portrayed as a drama, with tales of normality within the hectic mind, it is just one man's story of discovery and help and is at times very candid. It showed me details I had not realised that I didn’t understand, like Jonny’s condition which I had so many misconceptions of what was going on in the head of anyone like him.
An amazing thought provoking book, written so well that I just couldn't stop reading it at times. It was more like a conversation where I didn't need to say anything.
If you are big user of social media, twitter and a big media sponge, then you may remember the #FindMike campaign run by Jonny and others to find the stranger that helped him that day and ‘help’ is the correct term. I wasn’t sure what I was going to get from this book but considering the subject I thought it may be interesting if nothing else. What I did get though was an extremely insightful trip into the mind of someone with Mental Health issues and learnt so much from this one man who is dealing with his mental health by telling others his story and campaigning for more to be done for Mental Health. From him and the Stranger, when they did find him, it gives you hope for the human race, firstly that this saved soul is using his second chance to help a nation and world who have been hiding from mental health or more hiding the problem away and the Stranger who gives us hope in humanity as a whole.
Even though on that day when Jonny nearly did something I am very happy he didn’t, the hundreds of people that must have walked past and did nothing, what is the matter with our world, but thankfully one person did and together years later I hope they have changed the lives of others by bringing the story forward. And this book is certainly one way to do that.
Jonny Benjamin even though very open about his own problems hasn’t written just a sad tale and some parts are amusing with its easy going language, even when talking about his earlier life where he thought it was normal to have a voice in his head. This is no comedy but it has been portrayed as a drama, with tales of normality within the hectic mind, it is just one man's story of discovery and help and is at times very candid. It showed me details I had not realised that I didn’t understand, like Jonny’s condition which I had so many misconceptions of what was going on in the head of anyone like him.
An amazing thought provoking book, written so well that I just couldn't stop reading it at times. It was more like a conversation where I didn't need to say anything.
September 19, 2020
I really wanted to like this book. I wanted to empathise and be inspired. Having suffered from depression and after setting up a lending library at work of self help books, I was intrigued by this one, which came very highly recommended. The story is fascinating and the subsequent charity work is commendable but I found the narrative voice irritating.
The self pity and attention seeking (even when his Dad is really ill he turns it around to himself) really grated with me. The constant criticism of health care professionals for not showing enough compassion is annoying as he also points out that he often didn't fully disclose his symptoms. Offering advice around a good diet is mocked but this is a good starting point to combat low moods.
He regularly mentions that he wanted to be famous. He has that now and is making it count by helping others but I'm reminded throughout this book how difficult it is to deal with depressive people, with their blinkered, selfish attitude (I know this as I've inflicted my crap on others before). The ultimate irony is the title. It's not about the stranger on the bridge. It's more about the person who chose to draw attention to themselves during rush hour on one of the busiest commuter bridges in London.
I'm not a troll and I'm aware that JB is not a well person but I found it very hard to engage with large parts of this story. The attitude of the protagonist alienated me.
But his legacy far outstrips my opinion, which I'm aware isn't a popular one.
The self pity and attention seeking (even when his Dad is really ill he turns it around to himself) really grated with me. The constant criticism of health care professionals for not showing enough compassion is annoying as he also points out that he often didn't fully disclose his symptoms. Offering advice around a good diet is mocked but this is a good starting point to combat low moods.
He regularly mentions that he wanted to be famous. He has that now and is making it count by helping others but I'm reminded throughout this book how difficult it is to deal with depressive people, with their blinkered, selfish attitude (I know this as I've inflicted my crap on others before). The ultimate irony is the title. It's not about the stranger on the bridge. It's more about the person who chose to draw attention to themselves during rush hour on one of the busiest commuter bridges in London.
I'm not a troll and I'm aware that JB is not a well person but I found it very hard to engage with large parts of this story. The attitude of the protagonist alienated me.
But his legacy far outstrips my opinion, which I'm aware isn't a popular one.
February 10, 2020
Started reading this at work and then took it home.. it’s a positive and uplifting story.
April 7, 2020
Šią knygą apibūdinti tobulai tinka pasakyti Dr. Pauliaus Skruibio žodžiai “Ši knyga nėra pasakiška istorija, kurioje herojus, susidūręs su dideliais išbandymais, juos įveikia ir toliau ilgai bei laimingai gyvena.”
Apsigaus tie, kurie tikėsis grožinio kūrinio ar kažkokios gražios istorijos (kurias mes taip visi mėgstame). Šioje knygoje to nėra. Kalba paprasta, dalykiška, kasdieniška. Nėra vaizdingų posakių ar kvapą gniaužiančių momentų, bet čia yra daug daugiau! Už šių žodžių slepiasi tikras žmogus su savo sunkia diagnoze ir be galo sudėtingu vidiniu gyvenimu, o tuo pačiu atvira širdimi ir didžiuliu noru padėti.
Tai tikras pasakojimas apie Jonny, kuris nuo vaikystės susidūrė su tuo kas vadinama šizoafektinis sutrikimas, kuris net ir dabar būdamas suaugęs ir daug pasiekęs žmogus vis dar susiduria su potraukiu į savižudybę. Kaip jis su tuo gyvena, kokie jausmai ir iššūkiai aplanko? Viską surašė į dienoraštį į kurį leidžia pažvelgti visiems, taip padėdamas daugybei žmonių visame pasaulyje pripažinti, nesigėdyti ir priimti save su viskuo kas gal iki šiol nebuvo visuotinai priimama.
Skaitant aplankė visa paletė jausmų, nuo gailesčio iki gėrėjimosi ir pasididžiavimo, nuostaba sumišusi su tokia įkvepiančia motyvacija, net ir sunkiausiais momentais nenuleisti rankų! O dažniausiai aplankantis jausmas, tai buvo pyktis – pyktis ant medicinos sistemos (ir sistemos bendrąją prasme), kuri tarsi būdama tokia visagalė, tuo pačiu yra tokia skylėta ir nejautri žmogaus poreikiams, kad net baisu. Autorius pateikia tokių pavyzdžių, kad net pašiurpsti nuo to kokiame pasaulyje mes gyvename.
Kažkur širdyje kirbėjo ir pyktis ant tų tūkstančių į save susitelkusių žmonių, kurie praėjo pro šalį nekreipdami dėmesio į ant tilto atbrailos stovintį jauną vaikiną. Ir tik VIENAS iš jų vardu Neilas sustojo, pamatė ir tiesiog užkalbino. Ir kaip paskui netikėti stebuklais? 🙂 Šioje vietoje pagauni save galvojant, o kaip būčiau pasielgusi pati?
Ši knyga visiškai nereali! Motyvuojanti, įkvepianti ir supažindinanti su tuo ko nereikia bijoti, o reikia atverti širdį ir priimti kitus tokius kokie jie yra. Taip pat taikliai paliečianti visas “užrūdijusias” sistemos dalis 🙏 Manau, kad tokiomis temomis reikia kalbėti kuo daugiau ir tai ko siekia, ir ką daro knygos herojus ir autorius yra nuostabu!
Apsigaus tie, kurie tikėsis grožinio kūrinio ar kažkokios gražios istorijos (kurias mes taip visi mėgstame). Šioje knygoje to nėra. Kalba paprasta, dalykiška, kasdieniška. Nėra vaizdingų posakių ar kvapą gniaužiančių momentų, bet čia yra daug daugiau! Už šių žodžių slepiasi tikras žmogus su savo sunkia diagnoze ir be galo sudėtingu vidiniu gyvenimu, o tuo pačiu atvira širdimi ir didžiuliu noru padėti.
Tai tikras pasakojimas apie Jonny, kuris nuo vaikystės susidūrė su tuo kas vadinama šizoafektinis sutrikimas, kuris net ir dabar būdamas suaugęs ir daug pasiekęs žmogus vis dar susiduria su potraukiu į savižudybę. Kaip jis su tuo gyvena, kokie jausmai ir iššūkiai aplanko? Viską surašė į dienoraštį į kurį leidžia pažvelgti visiems, taip padėdamas daugybei žmonių visame pasaulyje pripažinti, nesigėdyti ir priimti save su viskuo kas gal iki šiol nebuvo visuotinai priimama.
Skaitant aplankė visa paletė jausmų, nuo gailesčio iki gėrėjimosi ir pasididžiavimo, nuostaba sumišusi su tokia įkvepiančia motyvacija, net ir sunkiausiais momentais nenuleisti rankų! O dažniausiai aplankantis jausmas, tai buvo pyktis – pyktis ant medicinos sistemos (ir sistemos bendrąją prasme), kuri tarsi būdama tokia visagalė, tuo pačiu yra tokia skylėta ir nejautri žmogaus poreikiams, kad net baisu. Autorius pateikia tokių pavyzdžių, kad net pašiurpsti nuo to kokiame pasaulyje mes gyvename.
Kažkur širdyje kirbėjo ir pyktis ant tų tūkstančių į save susitelkusių žmonių, kurie praėjo pro šalį nekreipdami dėmesio į ant tilto atbrailos stovintį jauną vaikiną. Ir tik VIENAS iš jų vardu Neilas sustojo, pamatė ir tiesiog užkalbino. Ir kaip paskui netikėti stebuklais? 🙂 Šioje vietoje pagauni save galvojant, o kaip būčiau pasielgusi pati?
Ši knyga visiškai nereali! Motyvuojanti, įkvepianti ir supažindinanti su tuo ko nereikia bijoti, o reikia atverti širdį ir priimti kitus tokius kokie jie yra. Taip pat taikliai paliečianti visas “užrūdijusias” sistemos dalis 🙏 Manau, kad tokiomis temomis reikia kalbėti kuo daugiau ir tai ko siekia, ir ką daro knygos herojus ir autorius yra nuostabu!
October 2, 2019
Heartbreaking, brave, honest, raw, and a real eye opener into what it’s like living with a mental illness. Starting with THAT moment in 2008, when having been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, Jonny Benjamin travelled to a crowded Waterloo Bridge to take his own life. But on that bridge a stranger took the time to talk to him, listen to him and make him feel safe. “There was no judgement there. Just compassion.” The book then takes you through Jonny’s childhood and early experiences of delusions and hallucinations (unbeknownst to Jonny as a young child). He also speaks of the stigma surrounding mental ill health at the time and how negatively those with mentally illness are portrayed in media. And he talks of how being religious preventing him from seeking help. Jonny is very candid with how his mental health was severely affected by physical ill-health and his sexuality. He also talks about the #FindMike campaign to locate the strange (who we learn is called Neil!) and I actually remember sharing one of these posts on my social media. There are instances when you read his experiences and are baffled with the way ‘the system’ works. It was up to Jonny to notify the medical team investigating his possible IBD that he had schizoaffective disorder. The different levels of care and waiting times offered at different NHS trusts. And the differing levels of care offered by individual staff; some caring, compassionate and really care about their patients, others are detached and appear uncaring. Britt Pflüger has collated Jonny’s experiences and laid them out in a coherent, easy to read way. And it’s so engaging. This is not an easy read (there’s obviously multiple references to suicide), but I’d recommend everyone (that can) reads this book to gain insight into what life is like is if you have a mentally illness; the isolation, the stigma, the paranoia, the pain.... and the guilt. My heart goes out to anyone suffering mental ill health and don’t share their struggles. It’s ok to not be ok! Talk.
August 26, 2025
A Stranger on the bridge by Jonny Benjamin shares a deeply personal and moving account of his struggles with mental illness, from childhood into adulthood, ending in a moment that changed and saved his life.
I bought this from the local library to support a donation, I was blown away by the reviews and did not know there was actually a documentary done on this !
Diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, Jonny found himself overwhelmed by despair, leading him to the edge of Waterloo Bridge about 10 years ago ready to take his life. What stopped him was a complete stranger who approached him with simple words: “Please don’t do this, mate.”
This encounter became the spark for a viral campaign years later, when Jonny launched the “#FindMike” initiative to locate the man who intervened that day. Not only did the campaign succeed in finding the real “Mike” (Neil Laybourn), but it also opened up vital global conversations about mental health, suicide prevention, and the power of human kindness.
Jonnys writing is honest, accessible, and emotionally raw. He does not shy away from the darkest corners of his illness the hallucinations, the isolation, the stigma but he balances this with moments of hope, humor, and resilience. The memoir is as much about recovery and advocacy as it is about crisis. His journey toward healing, coupled with his efforts to raise awareness and support for others, make this an inspiring read.
Main theme explored: empathy
This was a rather sad and slow start for me but I wouldn’t say it’s for everyone. In the end when I went on YouTube to watch the documentary on Channel 4 I got so teary.
Trigger warnings: suicide, depression, sexuality, mental health
I will give Jonny a great applause for just once considering the stranger who definitely changed his destiny!!! From a suicidal survivor to a mental health campaigner 🙌🏽
4/5 star💫💫💫💫
October 3, 2022
What a read! I stumbled across this when looking for a quick Audiobook to listen to and was not disappointed. From listening to this, it led me to watch the documentary surrounding this story and it was so emotional.
Jonny found himself on Waterloo Bridge on 2008, on the other side and about to end his life, a stranger from the crowd pulled him back and convinced him to go for a coffee. Fortunately, the stranger managed to persuade Jonny that wasn't what was going to happen that day, but after this, they lost touch. Jonny was determined to find this stranger and this then led to many television appeals and social media campaigns. Hundreds of people came forward to say they were this stranger and after meeting many, none seemed to fit. Although Jonny had little memory of that day on the bridge, he knew he would remember something if the face fit. And eventually it did, he found the stranger who saved his life and from there, they became dear friends.
They raised money for Mental Health charities, visited prisons to work with vulnerable prisons, ran marathons to raise money. A remarkable story of bravery and courage, and very honest and open of Jonny to face his demons and then work to try to help others. Everyone should give this a read and also watch the documentary on Channel 4. It makes you realise there really are some good people in the world.
Difficult but enjoyable read.
Jonny found himself on Waterloo Bridge on 2008, on the other side and about to end his life, a stranger from the crowd pulled him back and convinced him to go for a coffee. Fortunately, the stranger managed to persuade Jonny that wasn't what was going to happen that day, but after this, they lost touch. Jonny was determined to find this stranger and this then led to many television appeals and social media campaigns. Hundreds of people came forward to say they were this stranger and after meeting many, none seemed to fit. Although Jonny had little memory of that day on the bridge, he knew he would remember something if the face fit. And eventually it did, he found the stranger who saved his life and from there, they became dear friends.
They raised money for Mental Health charities, visited prisons to work with vulnerable prisons, ran marathons to raise money. A remarkable story of bravery and courage, and very honest and open of Jonny to face his demons and then work to try to help others. Everyone should give this a read and also watch the documentary on Channel 4. It makes you realise there really are some good people in the world.
Difficult but enjoyable read.
August 17, 2025
The first chapter is Johnny on Waterloo bridge where he has gone to end his life. He is talked down by a stranger.
We then go back in time and learn about Johnny's past - his family, his education, his sexuality and his mental illness.
Johnny heard voices from a very young age and thought everyone heard them. He had hallucinations which people thought were night terrors. How can you seek help when you've no idea what's normal and mental health just isn't talked about? What a frightening childhood and adolescence he must have had.
Jonny is reunited with the stranger from the bridge and they are both now massive mental health campaigners, and have changed the lives of many sufferers.
Johnny tells us about his times as an inpatient, and about lots of other therapies and counselling he has received, and what has worked for him. This book is an eye opener.
There is also a film by the same name on Ch4, which I have just watched. It was nice to see Johnny in person. In the documentary he talks to a girl who lost her twin brother to suicide. The girl is obviously devastated that her twin didn't confide in her, or love her enough not to do it. Johnny here, and in the book, gives some insight into why people who take their own life seemingly do it with no thought for their loved ones.
We then go back in time and learn about Johnny's past - his family, his education, his sexuality and his mental illness.
Johnny heard voices from a very young age and thought everyone heard them. He had hallucinations which people thought were night terrors. How can you seek help when you've no idea what's normal and mental health just isn't talked about? What a frightening childhood and adolescence he must have had.
Jonny is reunited with the stranger from the bridge and they are both now massive mental health campaigners, and have changed the lives of many sufferers.
Johnny tells us about his times as an inpatient, and about lots of other therapies and counselling he has received, and what has worked for him. This book is an eye opener.
There is also a film by the same name on Ch4, which I have just watched. It was nice to see Johnny in person. In the documentary he talks to a girl who lost her twin brother to suicide. The girl is obviously devastated that her twin didn't confide in her, or love her enough not to do it. Johnny here, and in the book, gives some insight into why people who take their own life seemingly do it with no thought for their loved ones.
February 7, 2019
This is a moving story. One man's struggles with mental health and how his demons told him that it wasn't worth continuing any more. And the restoration in human nature that one in all the hundreds - maybe thousands - of people that crossed Waterloo Bridge that morning, stopped to talk to him. A very sad statistic. For Jonny, the writing (or co-writing) of this book must have been immensely difficult. It's a frank and brutal discussion of mental health, relapses and campaigning (and again, for everything he has tried to publicly do to reduce the stigma of mental health, there are always those trolls who say that he's doing in for attention). The description of Jonny's journey was very personal and is difficult reading at times. Most particularly is the concern about opening up to loved ones about what he is feeling. As with any kind of illness - physical or mental - there is no "one size fits all". Readers who are either dealing with mental health or supporting someone with mental health issues may see parallels in some of their own experiences, but not all. But this is a book that may help come to terms with SOME of the effects of mental health issues.
April 3, 2020
In 2008, 20-year-old Jonny Benjamin stood on Waterloo Bridge in London, about to jump. A stranger passing by stopped to talk to him, and in doing so saved his life.
Six years later, Jonny, together with Rethink Mental Illness, launched a campaign to find the stranger on the bridge. The story went viral and received global media attention.
In "The Stranger on the Bridge," Jonny talks about various stages in his life, including his childhood, teenage years and diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder. He explains the impact his Jewish culture and sexuality had on his mental health. He also takes us through his current work as a mental health campaigner and advocate, for which he was awarded an MBE.
There are so many words I could use to describe this book. Heartbreaking. Honest. Raw. This is a real eye-opening account of mental illness. Jonny's story is incredibly moving and I don't think I'll ever forget it. I read the audiobook version, which is narrated by Jonny Benjamin himself.
If you're going through a tough time then I wouldn't recommend reading this, as some of the content is very triggering.
Six years later, Jonny, together with Rethink Mental Illness, launched a campaign to find the stranger on the bridge. The story went viral and received global media attention.
In "The Stranger on the Bridge," Jonny talks about various stages in his life, including his childhood, teenage years and diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder. He explains the impact his Jewish culture and sexuality had on his mental health. He also takes us through his current work as a mental health campaigner and advocate, for which he was awarded an MBE.
There are so many words I could use to describe this book. Heartbreaking. Honest. Raw. This is a real eye-opening account of mental illness. Jonny's story is incredibly moving and I don't think I'll ever forget it. I read the audiobook version, which is narrated by Jonny Benjamin himself.
If you're going through a tough time then I wouldn't recommend reading this, as some of the content is very triggering.
August 5, 2020
Tai nėra pirmas kartas, kuomet mano rankose atsiduria knyga, kurioje žmogus pasakoja apie savo psichikos ligą/ligas ir su tuo susijusią patirtį, tačiau kiekvienas toks kūrinys yra savotiškai įdomus. Ir, tikėkimės, padedantis žmonėms pažvelgti į žmogaus, sergančio vienu ar kitu sutrikimu, mintis ir galbūt geriau jį suprasti.
Atviras, nuoširdus ir įvairiapusiškas pasakojimas apie vilties kupinas dienas, norą daryti gera ir užsimezgusią draugystę su nepažįstamuoju (tiesa, vėliau surastu ir atpažintu), kuris paprasto pokalbio dėka sustabdė jį nuo ketinimo atimti sau gyvybę. Tačiau ir apie juodus periodus, neviltį, sveikatos sistemos trūkumus bei bandyma save priimti toks, koks esi.
Nors mano ir Jonny patirtys gan skiriasi, tačiau vietų, kuriose pritariamai linkčiojau galvą ir pagalvojau "Žinau šitą jausmą..." buvo nemažai.
Galėčiau rašyti dar daugiau, tačiau leistis į asmeniškumus būtų nejauku, tad drąsiai duodu keturias žvaigždutes ir dėkoju Jonny už pasidalinimą savo patirtimi.
Atviras, nuoširdus ir įvairiapusiškas pasakojimas apie vilties kupinas dienas, norą daryti gera ir užsimezgusią draugystę su nepažįstamuoju (tiesa, vėliau surastu ir atpažintu), kuris paprasto pokalbio dėka sustabdė jį nuo ketinimo atimti sau gyvybę. Tačiau ir apie juodus periodus, neviltį, sveikatos sistemos trūkumus bei bandyma save priimti toks, koks esi.
Nors mano ir Jonny patirtys gan skiriasi, tačiau vietų, kuriose pritariamai linkčiojau galvą ir pagalvojau "Žinau šitą jausmą..." buvo nemažai.
Galėčiau rašyti dar daugiau, tačiau leistis į asmeniškumus būtų nejauku, tad drąsiai duodu keturias žvaigždutes ir dėkoju Jonny už pasidalinimą savo patirtimi.
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