Before the Bow Breaks: A Mother's Journey Through Incredible Loss

by EsthersChild

When the urn was empty, we each put our rose into it, signifying our love for Cassie. The urn would not remain empty; her memory on earth would remain alive in us. Huddling together, arms entwined, I offered a prayer to God committing Cassie to his eternal care. Meanwhile, the youngest member of the family, only 8 years old, spontaneously began drawing hearts in the sand. Multiple hearts -- hearts within hearts, small hearts, large hearts. When we turned back toward the shore, the beach was covered with them.

Before the Bow Breaks is the love story of a mother searching for meaning in the life and death of her daughter, Cassie. Tormented by depression and anxiety, Cassie sought escape in alcohol and drug addiction. She was a paradox between wit and confusion, her life filled with dark, woeful tales and bright, fun-loving laughter.

Yes, grieving is ultimately about letting go, but it is also about finding peace and clarity in the letting go. By sharing her journey in Before the Bow Breaks, EsthersChild helps to guide other families of addicts as they work their way through grief, pain, and loss.

About the Author

EsthersChild is an award-winning author who won an Angel Award in 1990 for her first book, Light Through the Dark Glass (Pacific Press Publishing Association). Republished under the title, Darkness Overturned (Wheatmark, Inc.), this is her autobiography about kidnapping, murder, and too many marriages. Born in the Pacific Northwest, EsthersChild has been writing stories and poems all her life.

84 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 8, 2020

About the author

EsthersChild is an award-winning author who won an Angel Award in 1990 for her first book, Light Through the Dark Glass (Pacific Press Publishing Association). Republished under the title, Darkness Overturned (Wheatmark, Inc.), it’s her autobiography about kidnapping, murder, and too many marriages.

Born in the Pacific Northwest, EsthersChild has been writing stories and poems all her life. Her stories appeared in high school publications and her poetry was read at numerous celebrations. Her writing career has encompassed such varied assignments as scriptwriting part of the 1990 video series, ChildCrafting, for the television program, The Quiet Hour. Her story, Healing Art, found a spot in the February 1992 Reader's Digest Heroes For Today. She now claims Northern California as her home where she wrote a newspaper column, Sixty Something, for the St. Helena Star from 2008 - 2009.

Her book, It Takes A Cat, is a tribute to her beloved Calico, a rescued kitty. This colorful volume, filled with photos, is a collection of blogs written over a period of three years. Some pages are verbatim though most have been reworked for clarity and coherence. She says that writing a blog is a relaxed endeavor; writing a book calls for greater diligence. It's like the difference between a paper napkin and linen.

In her most recent book, Before the Bow Breaks, she shares her journey through the grief and loss of her daughter, an alcoholic. She says she wrote the book to give her daughter a chance to tell her story, to speak for herself. Who among us shall judge? Who among us can discern the legitimacy, the transparency, of a wounded heart bound with pain? Though Cassie succumbed to her afflictions, she continues to illuminate her mother's heart with her relentless courage.