Placed for a Purpose: A Simple and Sustainable Vision for Loving Your Next-Door Neighbors

by Chris McKinney, Elizabeth McKinney, Tasha D Chapman (Foreword)

Many of us don't know our neighbors.

If we do know them, we aren't sure how to grow the relationship or talk about our faith with them. Placed for a Purpose provides a theologically rich framework for neighboring that helps people live missionally where God has placed them. Authors Chris and Elizabeth McKinney seek to provide a sustainable vision for the "low and slow" lifestyle of neighboring and supply practical tools that help people invest in their communities, value each step in the process, and build meaningful, gospel-motivated relationships with their fellow image-bearers right next door.


Endorsements

"If you've ever had the desire to see God work in and through you right where he has you, then Placed for a Purpose is the perfect practical and heart-engaging guide."
David Robbins, President and CEO of FamilyLife

"This excellent resource trains our church planters why and how to engage in neighboring."
Philip Douglass, Covenant Theological Seminary; Director of Church Planting for Missouri Presbytery of the PCA

"I have no doubt that Placed for a Purpose will be the catalyst behind thousands of changed lives."
Polly Conner, Co-founder of Thriving Home; Co-author of From Freezer to Table & From Freezer to Cooker

"When you read Placed for a Purpose, you will find yourself wanting to create margin in your life so you can be more present with the people who live right outside your front door."
Dave Runyon, Co-author of Art of Neighboring

"The material in this book is really good-insightful, educational, motivating, and actually fun to do while you make new friends."
Dave Cover, Co-lead Pastor, The Crossing, Columbia, Missouri

"This book could radically change the way we view and engage our neighbors."
Courtney Doctor, Coordinator of Women's Initiatives, The Gospel Coalition; Author of From Garden to Glory: A Bible Study on the Bible's Story


About the Authors

Chris and Elizabeth McKinney live in Columbia, Missouri with their four daughters and a Pomeranian. They work for Cru City and serve as associate staff at their church, The Crossing. They write, speak, and are passionate about helping people love their next-door neighbors.

Genres: Nonfiction, Christian, Christian Living

143 pages, Paperback

Published September 23, 2020

About the author

Chris lives in Columbia, Missouri with his wife Elizabeth and their four daughters. He has worked for Cru for twenty years and also serve as associate staff at his church, The Crossing. He writes, speaks, and is passionate about helping people love their next-door neighbors.

He grew up in Budapest Hungry and came back to attend Kansas State University. After graduating, he joined staff with Cru to do campus ministry at the University of Missouri. While directing the ministry, he earned his MDiv. from Covenant Theological Seminary. In his spare time he also enjoys his Chemex, cooking, and watching football.

Reviews

[Claire Johnson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this with a group at church, so the ideas were supplemented with more action steps and discussion.

Think the “Gospel Comes with a House Key” (did anyone else feel like such a failure after reading that?!), but MUCH less radical, MUCH more practical, MUCH more encouraging/motivating (IMO).

My favorite thing about this book was that the authors consistently pointed out that a community of friends in our neighborhood is good for us, a blessing for us. I never felt shamed or guilted for my lack of knowing my neighbors - what I felt was bummed that our neighborhood was missing out on what could be.

Quick read, easily done in a group. Nothing super deep or new. But I’d recommend. Gets the job done.

[Amaia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really good! Sweet, short, and practical. A good guide to have around to help you have meaningful relationships with your neighbors!

[Renee · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a great mix of super-practical and biblical “why.” We just moved into a new neighborhood and want to be more intentional about meeting our neighbors and developing relationships; this was such a good level-setting book for us to read right now. We came out with a list of things we want to try, some of which are still in progress. It’s helped us have conviction to go say hello instead of closing the garage door when we arrive home. I’ve heard this message before in a shame-y, try-harder way many times before, but this book articulates the message in such a grace-filled, abiding day-by-day sort of way. The last chapter emphasizes an adult-learning informed approach, where we can ask questions instead of coming in with a hard “tell,” which was so encouraging to see - very EQ oriented. There’s an awesome table, too, that helps as a heart-check for seeing people as humans, not projects. I loved that it was shorter and approachable, instead of being a treatise on neighboring - I didn’t have time for that in a season of moving! I want to grab a group of friends to discuss and apply, using the questions at the back of each chapter/lesson. I’ll definitely be coming back to this one!

[Tara Hoefs McGaugh · Rating 5 out of 5]

The majority of us have neighbors and live in some type of neighborhood. This book helps you think about how to be a good neighbor to those around you. To see those that are usually not seen, to redefine what hospitality looks like. Three of the biggest things that stuck out to me were: "BE a neighbor to others rather than ask who is worthy to be yours;" removing the word "just" from your vocabulary (it's not "just" a wave, "just" dinner, "just" learning my neighbor's name); and asking myself "If I were to move, would I have left my neighborhood better than I found it?" The book is an easy read and there are discussion questions after each chapter that would facilitate nicely in a small group setting.

[Jess Etheridge · Rating 5 out of 5]

A super fast read that I wish I could get into the hands of all my friends and students. They cast a big vision for what it means to be a neighbor and how God has placed us each in our addresses for a purpose. Instead of walking away feeling burdened with a list of to-do’s or feeling guilty for what you haven’t done, they give vision and practicals for sowing small seeds, over time to love the people you are placed around for an ultimate purpose in God’s redemptive story.

[Unchong Berkey · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Practical and motivating vision for a life style of cultivating the soil for the gospel in people’s lives.

[Meagan Rossi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Worth a read, even if you don't agree with all of it. Good, practical reminders of loving people around us in tangible ways.

[Chad Veal · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quick and Easy Read. Read the entire thing on two bus rides in 1 day. I liked the Gospel Comes with a House Key and The Art of Neioghbororing better but this was still good. Every chapter has discussion questions so definitely more set up for a study group than the other two books

[Christine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short and sweet. I didn't realize it was written for small group purposes and therefore is heavy on discussion questions etc. It's divided into 6 lessons and I loved them all.

[Holly Mackle · Rating 5 out of 5]

A motivating, kind, and thoughtful invitation to intentionality with those in our neighborhoods. I’ll think of the McKinney’s crockpot analogy and their definition of hospitality for a long time. A perfect (plus short and accessible!) pick for a small group study.

[David Burton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Chris and Elizabeth's McKinney's new book, "Placed for a Purpose," challenges us to create margin in our lives so we can interact with our neighbors.

I've met and visited with Chris several times and he has practical examples that this couple has put into practice and that they write about in their book.

For them it started with the realization that the address of the residence might not be an accident. If they were to use their home as a place of engagement instead of a place of refuge, what would that look like for them and their children?

For the McKinney's it began with a fish fry. But soon it became an Easter egg hunt with her immediate neighbors, and Halloween activities in their neighborhood, and other creative ways to build relationship with those that live around them.

Their book contains some great and insightful ideas. I especially like the fact that they say neighboring is like a lot crockpot, low and slow, not a microwave. It takes time to develop relationships with your neighbors. The key to a relationship-building is hospitality.

McKinney's also note that we need to remove the word "just" from our neighboring language. It is not just a hello it is a hello.

It is not just a front yard gathering, it is an opportunity to connect with people.

It is not just a plate of cookies or a cup of sugar to a neighbors, is an opportunity to share what we have.

It is not just a ping pong game with me in the garage, it is an opportunity check together and to get acquainted.

Neighboring is not one size fits all. It varies from area to area and among people because our likes and dislikes are different and change. But doing an event or an activity can be a great excuse to meet neighbors.

In recent decades, the idea of being a neighbor in America has shifted to be behavior-based on etiquette. Basically, a good neighbor is quiet and leaves me alone.

We need to change that definition, change the narrative. We must change what it means to be a good neighbor. It means to love your neighbor and that begins by learning their name and building a relationship with them.

Placed for a Purpose Quotes
Chris and Elizabeth McKinney

FORWARD
Our lack of spending time with and trusting our neighbors correlates to increasingly polarized opinions and politics and society into significant decreases in physical health and mental well-being. We have become fast-paced, hurried, wired, consumer a stick, transient, and highly individualistic. - Dr Tasha Chapman, professor at Covenant Theological Seminary

BOOK
Your address is not an accident, and neither are your neighbors. We are all placed for a purpose.

God moves toward us, and we need to move toward our neighbors.

We need to remove the word just from our neighboring language. It is not just a hello. It is a hello. It is not just a front yard gathering; it is an opportunity for people to connect.

Hospitality means loving and receiving a stranger. It is a posture more than food and entertainment. It is having a posture of welcome.

Neighboring is not one size fits all. It varies from area to area and among people because our likes and dislikes change. But events can be an excuse to meet our neighbors

What American's now expect in a neighbor is someone who is quiet and leaves them alone. We have to change what it means to be a good neighbor. For Christians, this means loving their neighbor.

Staying out of people's lives, developing apathy for them is NOT a Biblical approach.

What if we were to expand our belief that home is primarily a place to escape? What if we developed a mindset that home can also be a place to engage?

In the end, a neighbor can be defined as much more than the people who live next-door, but it can never be defined as less.

We ask ourselves, is there evidence in my life that I’m truly a neighbor to those around me? If not, how can I become one? Jesus is essentially saying, “be a neighbor to the others rather than ask who is worthy to be yours.”

Jesus says we’ve got it all wrong. The question isn’t who is or isn’t my neighbor? The question is how will I demonstrate neighborly love and prove to be a neighbor?

You can prove to be a neighbor when you introduced yourself to those next-door and remember to use their names when you see them again. According to Jesus we can’t just say we are neighbors, we need to prove it.

In order to become a neighbor to those around us, we need a heart change that only comes from embracing and experiencing the gospel.

Your neighbor has God-given strengths and gifts. Likewise, they are beset with weakness that mar the imago Dei in them. Across that fence, your neighbor carries with him, both the glory and run, glory which motivates our respect and a run which motivates our compassion.

Tim Keller says, “To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything.”

We mentioned earlier about our inclination to see the home primarily as a place to rest, retreat, and recharge. And it should be that. But what if there’s more? What if there’s a greater purpose to our home than simply getting our own needs met? What if God wants to mercifully lift our eyes from our own myopic tendencies? What if the stranger next-door is a mercy of God to accomplish that very thing in our life?

Whereas we might prefer to think of hospitality as merely the entertaining of our family and friends, the biblical writers clearly wanted us to widen our definition. Quite literally, the biblical concept of hospitality is simply to welcome and love the stranger. The heartbeat of hospitality is one of love, expressed through a welcoming presence that receives and makes room for the outsider.

At the end of the day no one wants to feel like a project. We want to feel that we bring something to the table. But when it comes to neighboring well, one of the biggest temptations is to turn neighbors into projects.

“Hospitality is not to change people, but to offer them space where change can take place.” - Henri Nouwnen

In their book, “To Transform the City,” Eric Swanson and Sam Williams discuss the difference between having ultimate and ulterior motives. When we have ultimate motives and relationships with our neighbors, we ultimately desire for them to come into a relationship with God through Jesus. Rather than living as undercover Christians, we live out our faith and serve and love our neighbors by building meaningful relationships with them. We enjoy their friendship and we hope, pray, and look for appropriate opportunities to talk about our faith and what God has done in our lives. But it’s broader than that too. We genuinely care about their health, their family, the whole thing. When we have ulterior motive’s, any active friendship, love, or service is done exclusively for the single goal of talking about God or getting in a church invite. There’s a sneakiness to our neighboring, a bait and switch. When someone says, “I don’t want to feel like a project,” it’s probably because they’ve interacted with someone who has been operating out of ulterior motives.

The real work, the important work, isn’t always what you think. It’s sometimes hidden in a pie, and Easter egg, an apartment stairwell, or in a passing conversation at your mailbox.

Our post-Christian neighbors aren’t sure there is any kind of afterlife, do not believe the Bible to be the inspired word of God, don’t hold that there are any moral, trans cultural absolutes, and think that we may suffer from a God delusion. The church is having to rethink and re-define what a spiritual conversation even is. Maybe that is a good thing.

Here’s something that might encourage you. 82% of non-religious people say they would be willing to have a conversation with a Christian about their faith if the Christian could do these five things:
1. Be present and listen and follow the conversation.
2. Walk in their shoes.
3. Find common ground and build a relational bridge.
4. Talk like a real person, don’t use words they can’t understand.
5. Create a better story about how does God relate to my life now.

[Desiré · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a fantastic book to go through on your own or with a group. In Placed for a Purpose, the McKinney’s offer a biblical understanding of neighboring —how God intended it to be at Creation and how Christ executed it in a fallen world. They give practical ideas on how to be a neighbor with ultimate, not ulterior, motives. This book will encourage and challenge you to be a kingdom neighbor and make the idea of being a light on your street exciting and much less intimidating.

[Jeremy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Many Christians today don't have a sense of how to live well in their neighborhoods as the missionaries God calls us to be. Elizabeth and Chris McKinney give us one of the best resources for learning to engage with our neighbors and share with them the hope of the gospel.

I would suggest you read this book with your small group, or in a book club, and put these ideas and practices to work.


Full disclosure, I am the Executive Director of GCD Books and the publisher.

[Mary Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this with a group of BSM students. Though the book is written specifically with next-door neighbors in mind, the principles were easily translatable to life on campus (in classes, jobs, roommates, etc). Helpful principles about how Christians can thoughtfully engage their neighbors, first and foremost as fellow image bearers but always with the goal of sharing the gospel with them at appropriate times.

[Stephanie Toigo · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such a wonderful little book! The authors, Chris and Elizabeth, put so much thought and intention in each word. It was incredibly practical and helped to bring perspective that every little conversation, care and concern matters to relationship and relationships are needed in this world. Highly recommend! It will transform your view of your neighbors and neighborhood!

[Megan Alford · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I purchased my first home, I was so surprised at how little contact I had with my neighbors outside of a very formal annual HOA meeting. I wanted to be a good neighbor, but I didn’t know how to be one. This little book gave practical and creative ideas about how to engage neighbors, build relationships, and create community.

[Jake Griess · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a very helpful and practical book/small group study to teach Christians how to minister to their neighbors. I found the book to be very readable and it gave attainable goals/suggestions at the end of each lesson.

I hope this book will used by churches across the nation to give people tracks to run on to love their neighbors and share Christ with them.

[Ben Flaming · Rating 4 out of 5]

Insightful and impactful, this is a simple and encouraging guide for how to express genuine love and care for your neighbors. The idea of sharing Jesus and the gospel with our immediate neighbors can be a little daunting - this breaks it down to an *everyday evangelism* that is practical, genuine and achievable.

[Ryan and Sara Wendt · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good Resource on Becoming a Good Neighbor!

This book is a good resource on learning how to become a good neighbor to the people around you in your community. The authors of this book do an excellent job in providing a how-to in how to be a good neighbor. I recommend this book to anyone who has an interest in becoming a better neighbor in your community to the people around them.

[Lauren Winfree · Rating 5 out of 5]

“If they don’t look like us, talk like us, go to our church, or see things from our political point of view, we check out.” This book mentions several times that we give up on being a neighbor to those around us and those we encounter when they don’t meet the criteria above. God has called us for so much more. Jesus did so much more. I pray I will do so much more.

[Bob Adams · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a solid work for those interested in living out Jesus' admonition to "love your neighbors." The authors take a methodical approach to the concept, using the idea of "Know," "Be," and "Do" to group their ideas together.

[Mitzi · Rating 5 out of 5]

How can we deepen our connection with our neighbors? This book walked us through the process of getting to know our neighbors on a deeper level so that we can have more meaningful conversations with them. Placed for a Purpose is a wonderful resource for small group study.

[Audrey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Insightful, practical, motivational and accessible. While it is fun and enjoyable to read it is deceptively theologically sound and deep. Learned, was inspired, and would love to talk about it with others who have read it.

[Randy Rosso · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was great! A short, simple, biblical, and practical guide to taking the initiative and trusting God for our neighborhoods. I’m excited to start applying this and rally some of our Christian neighbors alongside us in this endeavor!

[Kristina · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book provides a great Biblical framework that motivates you to know and love the people God has placed around you. However, if you’re looking for practical ideas and tips of how to reach your neighborhood this will fall short. I was hopeful for more stories and examples.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simple and Powerful

Chris and Elizabeth take the idea of neighboring and offer it in bite sizes steps. This book is full of scripture, resources, and practical ideas that will help us all learn to love our neighbors well.

[Kayla Peker · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall pretty meh in my opinion, but still some solid stuff to be gleaned. I think this could be a decent place to start for a small group to intentionally consider community and how to engage deeply in that.

[Alex Etheridge · Rating 4 out of 5]

Simple and practical.

[Scott · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 - good perspective and super practical steps to take in your neighboring.

[Douglas C. Meyerdirk · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books I have ever read about loving your neighbors!